02x02 - Tobacco

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[crowd cheering]

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome
to "Last Week Tonight."

I'm John Oliver.
Thank you for being with us.

Just time for a quick recap
of this week.

And we begin--
we begin tonight in Yemen,

home to 26 million
Yemeni people,

and 27 million American drones.

For years, Yemen has
worked closely with the U.S.
on counterterrorism issues.

Unfortunately, their government
collapsed recently,

and this week,
things got even worse.

Newscaster: The United States
closing down its embassy
in Yemen.

The State Department
has evacuated dozens

of diplomatic officials
from its compound in Sana'a,

while urging all Americans
to leave that country
immediately.

Yes, if you are an American
diplomat in Yemen,

evacuate immediately,

and if you're an American
tourist in Yemen,

what the f*ck were you doing
taking a vacation in Yemen?

Bad choice!

Uh, a rebel group called
the Houthis

now appears to be
in charge in Yemen.

So who are they,
and can we work with them?

Frankly, when you speak to them,
talk to them, they're actually
quite polite and pleasant.

Oh, lovely!
How lovely.

Rebels who are polite
and pleasant.

You know, like Drake.

Uh, this... this all sounds
like it's tremendous news.

Unless I interrupted you
a little too early.

They're actually quite
polite and pleasant.

Uh, but one of their slogans
is "death to America."

Okay, then.
Okay.

That is completely unacceptable,
unless, of course,

they're referring to the '70s
soft rock band America,

in which case
I totally support them.

Oh, you've been through a desert
on a horse with no name?

Did it ever occur to you it's
your job to name the horse!

That's on you.
Call it Cinnamon and ride back.

Now, you-- you might notice

he said,
"one of their slogans."

And that's because
the full slogan reads,

"God is great, death to America,
death to Israel,

"curse the Jews,
victory to Islam."

Which is horrifying,
but still slightly less odious

than "I'm lovin' it."

Now, also, there is some
potentially good news here.

Not only are the Houthis
against Al-Qaeda,

they may actually be trying
to moderate their tone.

I interviewed their leader here
a couple days ago.

And he was very adamant about
trying to have better relations
with the U.S.

He even went so far as to pretty
much repudiate their slogan

which, you know, includes
"death to America,"

and say, "That's just a slogan,
we don't mean it literally."

Oh, okay, then.
Okay.

I guess at this point the phrase
"death to America"

has lost all its meaning.

It's like,
"We should really
hang out sometime."

Or "I'm sorry"
or "I love you."

They're just things to say,
you know.

So moving on
to other major news this week.

We saw the worldwide release
of "Fifty Shades of Grey."

It's done-- it's done
surprisingly well,

despite the fact
that Jamie Dornan
is not my Christian.

Hashtag, "NotmyChristian."

The-- the media...

the media has been very excited
about this all week,

which makes sense,
because who would not be excited

to watch scintillating dialogue
such as this?

Man: That's impressive.

You a Girl Scout?
[laughs]

Um, no, organized
group activities
aren't really my thing.

So what is your thing?

Um... I don't know.
Books.

[crowd laughs]

My penis just yawned.

I-- I will say,
I will say-- I will say...

I will say...
[crowd cheers]

This movie has actually provided
a fascinating glimpse

into the attitudes
of various countries.

The UK gave it their equivalent
of an NC-17 rating,

while Malaysia banned it
from theaters,

calling it,
"more pornography than movie."

Although, on the basis
of that clip we saw,

it's actually more
Home Depot commercial

than pornography.

However, there is one country
that went...

in a different direction.

Here in the U.S.,
"Fifty Shades of
Grey" is rated R.

Meaning that kids under 17
must be accompanied
by an adult.

But the French are giving
the green light

to kids as young as 12.
Man: What?

Yes, France is allowing
"Fifty Shades of Grey."

That is maybe the Frenchest
thing imaginable,

other than a croissant sitting
in a cafe eating a baguette.

Or maybe a mime feeding
invisible cheese to his
invisible mistress

with a visible erection.

So just... just...
It's pretty French.

Just out of interest, for me,

what was the reasoning
for such a rating?

Matt Lauer: A French official
says "Fifty Shades,"

"isn't a film that can
shock a lot of people."

And get this, the decision
wasn't unanimous.

But that's only
because some there

thought there shouldn't be
any age restriction at all.

Wow!
So the implication there

is that even 12-year-olds
in France will find
the movie tame.

[French accent]
"Yes, it was an amusing,
erotic trifle, I suppose.

"Ze love-making was passable,
but, uh,

"belt play is a little
pedestrian, don't you think?"

[crowd laughs]
[speaks French]

Finally, finally, this week,

a little update on Ecuador.

You may remember last week
we poked fun at their president,
Rafael Correa,

who'd been calling out his
Twitter and Facebook critics
by name,

and encouraging supporters
to attack them online.

Well, it turns out
he saw what we did
and was not thrilled.

And the reason I know this
is, and this is true,

the president of Ecuador
has been shit-talking me
on Twitter all week long,

saying-- and this is true.
[crowd cheering]

Among other things,
he has said...

"These gringo talk shows are
as unpleasant as a diuretic,"

and,
"Do British comedians exist?

"Are you all sure about this?"

[stammering]
And he's right.

"British comedian"
is an oxymoron,

much like "jumbo shrimp"

or "Ecuadorean president who
prioritizes his time wisely."

But it actually--
it actually gets worse.

Just yesterday, Correa gave
his weekly televised address
to the nation

and he was still annoyed
about this.

[speaking Spanish]

Translator:
With international backing,
there is a funny campaign

that says that we
are against humor,

because now they will
show you some Twitters
that we want to stop.

Imagine that.
Me, against humor.

But my jokes
are known worldwide.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Let me stop you there.

That's almost true,
but it's not so much that
your jokes are known worldwide

as that you are increasingly
becoming known worldwide
as a joke.

That's the-- that's the thing.
That's the...

But, look, I'd stop this.

I would stop making fun
of Correa's oversensitivity

were it not for the fact
he has a history of stifling
dissent in Ecuador.

He's clamped down on journalists
in both ways large and small.

From suing a newspaper

that said he was acting
like a dictator

to humiliating
a young female reporter

who asked him
a tough question,

calling her "a horrible fatty."

And "fatty" is one of the least
presidential words imaginable.

It's right up there
with "awesome sauce"
and "finger blast."

You just, you don't want to hear
that from a world leader.

There is one thing, however,
I would like to correct
from last week.

Uh, you may remember I showed
a clip of this clown
during Correa's speech.

Well, it turned out that was
actually no random clown.

That was Tiko Tiko,
a beloved children's
entertainer.

Tiko Tiko was upset
and called me "grotesque."

And when a clown
calls you grotesque, it hurts.

So I will apologize
to Tiko Tiko,
and I'll tell you why,

because I do not want
this man angry with me.

[music plays]

[crowd laughs]

That is what is playing
in the background when a
psychopath ties you up

in a basement and tortures you
with dental instruments.

I am sorry, Tiko Tiko.
Please don't make me saw
my leg off to escape you.

And now, this.

Announcer: And now,
"Last Week Tonight" asks,

how is this still a thing?

This week,
the "Sports Illustrated"
swimsuit issue.

How is this still a thing?

"Sports Illustrated,"
the preferred magazine

of dads in the crapper
since 1954,

highlighting great moments
in sport,

from the Miracle on Ice
to that one time Vince Lombardi
got punched in the balls

by the Green Bay Packers.

And every February,
"SI" releases its most
popular annual issue

to a creepy chorus of approval.

Woman: All right, check it out.

Mike Jerrick,
look at the screen.
Man: Yes!

Announcer: Ew!
Man: The swimsuit issue
is coming out

next Tuesday on newsstands.
It is a great, great magazine.

Announcer: Ew!
And it's even worse

when the models
are in the studio.

Will you be my valentine?
I definitely want
the chocolate,

but there's a little bit
of a waiting list.
Thank you so much.

Cortney, I love you, baby.
Cortney is Darren's wife.

Expecting their first child
any moment now.

Announcer: The swimsuit edition
was created by editor
André Laguerre in 1964

to boost sales
between sports seasons.

And it was a perfect expression
of the '60s,

a time of such
rampant casual sexism

that it eventually gave birth
to the sexual harassment
in the workplace film.

Hey, if you two chicks
wanna get knocked up,

John and I are glad
to help you.

But as society moved on,
the swimsuit issue
not only hung around,

it became the magazine's
key selling point.

You get basketball,
football, tennis...
And...

And... oh!
And the famous swimsuit issue.

Narrator: ...revealing 1991
swimsuit issue and the
free sneaker phone.

Narrator 2: The swimsuit issue.
That's the icing on the cake.

Announcer: Ew!
And the swimsuit issue
is still moving copies.

It sold more than 800,000
copies on newsstands in 2013,

reportedly more than ten times

what a regular issue
of "Sports Illustrated" sold.

Which raises the question, why?

Sure, at one point,
it was tantalizing to receive

a once annual printed magazine
of scantily clad women.

But do people not understand
they could now just type

"naked ladies"
into the Internet

and see what Google
throws at them?

Even "SI" seems to know
it's losing relevance,

which may be why every year,
like clockwork,

they provoke an
attention-grabbing controversy.

Whether it's using other
countries' citizens as props...

Woman:
Some are calling them, at best,
culturally insensitive.

Announcer:
...objectifying women
with an actual object...

Woman: Barbie. Yes, Barbie,
is on the cover
of the swimsuit issue,

and, as you can imagine,
there is outrage.

Announcer:
...or this year, baiting
the media with this bullshit.

Woman: Some are questioning
whether the cover is too lewd.

Is it too risqué?
When the line goes this far,
what's left?

Announcer:
The vag*na.

The vag*na is what's left.

And one of these years,
in an act of desperation,

"SI" will probably
put one on the cover.

And until that time,
it's left to the rest
of us to ask ourselves,

the "Sports Illustrated"
swimsuit issue:

how is this still a thing?

[crowd cheering]
Moving on. Moving on.

Our main story tonight
is tobacco.

It used to be a cornerstone
of American life.

It was how we knew sex was over
before the female orgasm
was invented.

Even if you didn't smoke,
you could not escape
those who did.

Cigarettes were in the hands
of trusted newsmen,

beloved cartoon characters,
and cowboys in TV commercials.

Announcer: You've had
your supper and coffee.

The horses are settling down.

You settle back,
you start to think
about Saturday night in town.

Come to where the flavor is.

Come to Marlboro Country.

That, of course,
is the iconic Marlboro Man.

As synonymous with ruggedness
and freedom

as he was with dying from
smoking-related diseases.

Because, and this is true,
that's what happened

to at least four of the actors
who played him.

Four dead actors.

It's like if there
was a gas leak on
"Whose Line is it Anyway?"

Why did you have to
"yes, and" each other?

Why?

Look, you can admit,
it is weird seeing those
cigarette ads now,

and that's because
for the past half century,

America has steadily limited
how tobacco companies
are able to behave.

We've put warning labels
on packaging and banned
cigarette ads from TV.

All while tobacco executives
defended themselves against
hard public health questions.

It's true that babies born
from women who smoke
are smaller,

but they're just as healthy
as the babies born

from women who do not smoke.

Man: What about
the higher rate--
And some women would prefer

having smaller babies.
Yeah.

Oh, you heard him,
pregnant ladies.
Enough cigarettes,

and you're pretty much just
sh**ting out Lego babies.

They-- they fit
in Star Wars toys.
Who wouldn't want that?

That's adorable.

By the late '90s,
the regulations were such

that tobacco companies here
voluntarily retired

not just the Marlboro Man,
but also Joe Camel,

who people had ridiculously
accused of being targeted
at children

just because he was an adorable
cartoon camel who dressed like
the Fonz and smoked.

All these restrictions helped
lower smoking rates in the U.S.

from about 43 percent in 1965
to 18 percent today,

which you would assume
would decimate the American
tobacco industry,

which is what makes this clip
from 2008 so surprising.

Newscaster: Tobacco is what
you might call smoking hot.

Is this the best time ever
to be a tobacco farmer?
Probably the most profitable.

Wow. So it's an aging product
that's decreasing in popularity

and yet, somehow, it just
can't stop making money.

It's basically the agricultural
equivalent of U2.

Now-- now, one of the reasons--
one of the reasons for this

might be that while Americans
are smoking less,

in some parts of the world
people are smoking more,

to an occasionally
shocking extent.

You might remember
this viral video.

Newscaster: Video
of this two-year-old boy.

He's just puffing away
on a cigarette in Indonesia,
and it's gone completely viral.

The mom says he is
totally addicted and if he
doesn't get the smokes,

he gets angry, starts banging
his head on the wall.

Yeah, of course he gets mad
when you take away his smokes.

He thinks they're gone.

He doesn't have
object permanence yet.

The smoking baby was such
a media sensation,

news crews from across the world
attempted to find him.

Male newscaster: Just across
this bridge lies
the small fishing village

that is home
to the smoking baby.

Female newscaster: We briefly
caught up with Aldi
and his mother, Diana,

at the airport,
flanked by a local TV crew.

Are you Aldi? Hi.

I'm Dan.
How you doing, little dude?

Holy shit!
Just look at that kid!
He's his own Rat Pack.

All he's missing is
three other kids dressed
like him and a casino.

And-- and this is where this
story gets really interesting,

because that baby's favorite
brand of cigarettes was A Mild,

which is owned by
Philip Morris International,

the company that sells
Philip Morris brands
everywhere but America.

They, like other
multinational companies,
have flocked to Indonesia,

a market where two-thirds
of adult males smoke,

and there are
very few restrictions,

and I do mean very few.

Man:
This really brings
home the point.

This is the entrance
to a school.

And come with me.
Just a few steps away
from the entrance,

there is this kiosk that is
sponsored by Marlboro Lights,

and at this kiosk,
a student can come and buy
an individual cigarette.

They're only a dime a piece
and they even have a lighter
on a string.

Yeah, well, of course
the lighter's on a string.

What kind of irresponsible
cigarette vendor
outside a school

would let a child
walk away with a lighter?
They're dangerous.

Think about it.
Just think about that.

And look, Indonesia is
far from the only country where

Philip Morris International,
or PMI, has expanded.

They own seven of the world's

top 15 international brands,
including Marlboro.

And recently, Marlboro has
boosted its global market share,

thanks for its worldwide

"Don't be a maybe, be Marlboro"
campaign.

And if you're thinking,
"What the f*ck does
'don't be a maybe' mean?"

please let this video by
the people responsible for the
campaign explain it to you.

Narrator: As a brand,
Marlboro was not resonating
with adult smokers,

even though its values
of freedom, authenticity
and master of destiny were.

Smokers missed
the "essence of the cowboy,"

which led us
to our opportunity.

Eliminate the word "maybe"
from our smokers' vocabulary

to become the catalyst that
inspires smokers from just
thinking about life

to taking the lead
in their life.

To live the Marlboro values.

To be true, bold,
and forever forward.

That is a pile of horse shit.

Even-- Think about it.
[crowd cheering]

Just think about this.

Even Don Draper looks
at that ad and goes,
"Pull it back a little bit.

"These are cigarettes we're
talking about, not Jesus."

Now, countries can try
to counteract the influence
of that kind of marketing,

but if tobacco companies
feel too threatened, they'll
put them through legal hell.

Let me take you on a world tour

of how they attack laws intended
to protect public health,

because it's kind of amazing.
Let's start in Australia.

In 2011, they passed
a plain packaging law,
And what that means is this.

Cigarettes come in packaging
like this.

Pretty drab coloring,
messaging the Australian
government writes,

pictures it chooses,
the brand name there
really relegated to the bottom.

Australia's plain packaging law
bans tobacco company branding
from packaging

and replaced it
with upsetting photos,
such as the toe tag on a corpse,

the cancerous mouth,
the nightmarish eyeball,
or the diseased lung.

Now-- yes. I'm pretty
sure I would find
a healthy lung disgusting,

but-- but that thing does look

like you're trying
to breathe through baked ziti.

So just take that down,
just take it down.

Perhaps unsurprisingly,
since this law was implemented,

total consumption of tobacco
and cigarettes in Australia

fell to record lows.

And nightmares about eyeballs
have risen to record highs.

Take it down!
Take down the demon eye!

To get these laws, though,
Australia's had to run a gamut
of lawsuits.

First, two tobacco companies
sued Australia in its highest
court to stop them.

The result was
a little surprising,

as Australia's attorney general
let everyone know.

I'm delighted to be able
to say that we have won
that legal action.

And, just as some icing
on the cake,

it seems that the big tobacco
companies will also be required
to pay the government's cost.

Yes! Score one--
[crowd cheers]

Score one for the little guy.

Even if that little guy
is the sixth largest
country in the world

in terms of land mass.

And the tobacco companies
didn't just lose.

The judges called their case

"delusive, unreal
and synthetic,"

and said it had fatal defects.

Which sounds a little
like the early reviews

of NBC's "The Slap."

What-- what is this thing?

How long am I supposed
to watch it for?

Which one is the slap?

But Australia's legal troubles
were just beginning,

because then Philip Morris Asia
got involved.

The company is threatening to
take the Australian government
to an international court

and says that removing brands
from cigarette packs

will lower the value
of its trademark
and intellectual property.

That's right, a company
was able to sue a country

over a public health measure
through an international court.

How the f*ck is that possible?
Well, it's really
a simple explanation.

They did it by digging up
a 1993 trade agreement between
Australia and Hong Kong,

which had a provision that
Australia couldn't seize Hong
Kong-based companies' property.

So nine months before
the lawsuit started,

PMI put its Australian business
in the hands

of its Hong Kong-based
Philip Morris Asia division,

and then they sued,
claiming that the
seized property in question

were the trademarks
on their cigarette packages.

And you've got
to give it to them,
that's impressive.

Someone should really give those
lawyers a pat on the back,

and a punch in the face,
but a pat on the back first.

Pat then punch.
Pat, punch.

They need a pat, punch.

Little pat, big punch.
That's what they need.

But wait, there is more here,
because you will never guess

who else is coming
after Australia.

Female newscaster: Three
governments, Honduras,
the Dominican Republic,

and Ukraine have filed
complaints with the
World Trade Organization

against Australia's
plain packaging laws.

That's right, Ukraine
is charging Australia with
hurting its tobacco exports,

something which was
a bit of a surprise

to a Ukrainian member
of Parliament.

When I first read about the
position of the government,

uh, it seems to be a joke.

'Cause we have zero
trade exchange between Australia

and Ukraine
of any tobacco goods.

Zero trade! Zero!

So Ukraine is inserting
themselves into something
they have nothing to do with.

They're taking the Kanye West
approach to international
trade disputes.

It's-- they're just--
just wiggling in there.

The truth is, as you
have probably guessed by now,

tobacco companies have
encouraged these suits,

even covering some
of the legal costs,

meaning the tobacco industry
is treating Ukraine

like a stage parent treats
a child in a beauty pageant.

Oh, no, no,
Brandy wants to do it!

Yes, I paid for her outfit,
and I pushed her
onto the stage.

but this was all her idea,
and I swear to god, Brandy,

if you drop that flaming baton,
you are f*cking walking home.

You walk home, Brandy.

And tobacco companies

aren't just going after
big countries like Australia.

Male newscaster: Philip Morris
has also launched
a legal challenge

against the small
South American
country of Uruguay

for damaging
its business prospects.

Uruguay has a population
of just three and a half
million people,

and is a relatively tiny
cigarette market.

That's right,
Philip Morris International
is currently suing Uruguay.

A country that you
think about so little

that you didn't even notice
that that's not Uruguay.
This is Uruguay.

Now, the background here...
[crowd cheers]

Nine years ago,
Uruguay started introducing

increasingly
larger health warnings.

Smoking rates dropped,
and Uruguayans liked the laws

with 68 percent of smokers

saying that they should
be stronger.

But just because they wanted it,

hasn't stopped PMI
from suing them

for the past five years.

And that's a lot
for a small country to take on.

Luckily, they have had help.

[man speaking Spanish]
Translator: Uruguay has received

the support of the
World Health Organization

and the Pan American
Health Organization,

as well as the mayor
of New York City,
Michael Bloomberg,

who donated $500,000
for payment of attorneys' fees.

The legal fees
were getting so expensive

they had to take money
from Michael Bloomberg.

On the scale of how shitty
that has got to feel,

it's just barely higher
than borrowing money

from your ex-girlfriend's
current boyfriend's step-dad.

And-- and if forcing Uruguay
to do that was not bad enough,

let me tell you what
Philip Morris International
has done to Togo.

Togo is one of the ten poorest
countries on Earth,

and they recently unveiled
some new tobacco laws.

[woman speaking French]
Translator: Togo
is setting conditions

on the sale of tobacco.

Starting on
September 1st, 2014,

packs of cigarettes
sold in Togo must bear
warnings in French,

Ewe, and Kabiyé about the
health risk associated

with the consumption
of tobacco.

Now, at first,
written warnings sound great.

Until you learn that 40 percent
of the adult population of Togo
is illiterate,

which is why some members
of the Togolese government

wanted something more like
Australia's ziti lung packaging.

Take it down, take it down.
It's still disgusting.

But when they got wind of this,
Philip Morris International,

a company with annual net
revenues of $80 billion,

basically threatened
to sue Togo,

whose entire GDP is 4.3 billion.

And when your GDP is only
a couple of billion more

than the box office of Avatar,

a protracted legal case
is not really what you need.

Now, we actually reached out
to Togo and asked to see

their correspondence
with the tobacco companies.

And they gave us this letter
from PMI.

We had to translate it
from French,

but it was worth it,
because this thing is
almost comically appalling.

It informs Togo
that plain packaging laws
would result in,

"an incalculable amount

"of international trade
litigation,"

suggesting Togo would lose
any legal challenge

by citing,
among other things,

an Australian High Court
decision which they write,

"concluded that plain packaging
constitutes

"a substantial privation
of property rights."

Now, the court case
they're referring to

is the one from earlier.

You remember, the one
tobacco companies lost

so badly they had to cover
the court costs.

And yet, they quote
the one judge

in that case
who ruled in favor of tobacco,

ignoring the other six
who called their case,
if you remember,

"delusive, unreal,
and synthetic,"

and saying it
had "fatal defects."

That's like when a shitty movie

engineers a good review
out of a bad one, like,

"Mortdecai is a pile of...
great."

Th-- this letter is bullshit.

And yet, Togo,
justifiably terrified

by threats
of billion dollar settlements,

backed down from a public health
law that many people wanted.

And it's not just Togo.

British American Tobacco
sent a similar letter
to Namibia,

and one of their subsidiaries
sent one to the Solomon Islands,

a country with a population
of 600,000.

At this point,
it's safe to say,

if you live in an apartment
with at least two other people,

and you ask one of them
to please smoke outside,

you can look forward
to a letter from
a tobacco company very soon.

And look, I could get angry
and I could call
tobacco companies assholes,

or monsters,
or open sores on Satan's d*ck,

but instead-- instead,
let's rise above it
and let's try and broker peace,

because it's clear
what each side wants.

Countries want to warn
their citizens

about the health dangers
of smoking tobacco.

Um, tobacco companies want to be
able to present branded images

that they've spent time
and money to cultivate.

So may I suggest a compromise.

I present to you the new face
of Marlboro,

Jeff the Diseased Lung
in a Cowboy Hat.

We are offering Jeff to you,
Philip Morris International,
to use as you wish.

Put him on your billboards,
put him on some ads.

In fact, and don't be mad,

we've... we've already started
doing that for you.

This is an actual billboard
that we have put up in Uruguay

of Jeff the Diseased Lung.
[crowd cheering]

That... that is in Montevideo
right now.

And people seem
to like it there,
because of course they like it!

Of course they like it!
Everyone loves

Jeff the Diseased Lung
in a Cowboy Hat.

Oh, one more thing.

Um, to be completely honest,
we didn't just do it in Uruguay,

Um, because we also,
and don't be mad,

we made some
Jeff branded t-shirts

and we shipped them
to Togo yesterday,

where they've been quite a hit.

And if you don't believe me,
check this out.

[all cheering] Jeff!
[audience cheering]

Marlboro,
Jeff's already out there.

You just need to claim him.
Our lawyers, unlike yours,
will not sue.

And... and I know our viewers
would love to help you get
the message out there.

In fact, you can tweet
about Jeff using the hashtag
"Jeffwecan"

to get him trending worldwide
and get PMI's attention.

Post Jeff's photo on Google Plus
and tag him "Marlboro,"

which might push him
to the top

of Marlboro's
Google image search.

We can do this, everyone.
Don't be a maybe about this.

In fact... in fact...
[crowd cheering]

who here would like
to meet Jeff?

Let's bring Jeff out!
Come on, Jeff!

[Western music plays]
It's Jeff!

It's Jeff, everyone!

It's Jeff the Diseased Lung!
Look at him, Marlboro!

He's not a maybe.

He's not a maybe because
he's definitely suffering
from emphysema.

Aren't you, Jeff?
[wheezing, coughing]

Classic Jeff.
And guess what, PMI?

Even though, and I cannot
stress this enough,

you do not market
to children,

kids love Jeff too.
Don't you, kids?

What do you say, Marlboro?
Let's make Jeff happen.

[kids shouting]
That's our show!

See you next week!
Good night!

Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff!

[all shouting] Jeff! Jeff! Jeff!

[upbeat music plays]
[kids shouting]