02x03 - Judicial elections

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[theme music playing]

[cheers, applause]

Welcome, welcome, welcome
to "Last Week Tonight"!

I'm John Oliver.
Thank you for joining us.

Just time
for a quick recap
of the week,

and we begin in Greece,

a country of and in ruins.

[laughter]
Now you may remember,

Greece nearly
went bankrupt a while ago

after years
of financial mismanagement,

and the rest of Europe has had
to angrily bail it out.

Now, the terms of the loans
were pretty harsh,

and the new Greek government
has been attempting
to renegotiate them,

and this Friday,
there was a breakthrough.

Greece finally has
the financial lifeline

it desperately needed
to avoid a disaster.

Eurozone negotiators
have agreed

to a four-month
extension plan

of the country's
$273 billion bailout program.

Now that sounds pretty good,
but in exchange,

Greece did have to admit
that moussaka is just
disgusting potato lasagna.

Nobody wants it.

Now, if you're wondering
why Europe agreed

to that deal, it's because
they pretty much had to.

If Greece collapses, it may
take the whole European
single currency down with it.

A lot depends
on Greece at the moment,

so on Friday
their new finance minister

tried to reassure people
in the Greekest possible way.

[audience laughing]

Okay, that's not
that reassuring for two reasons.

First, everybody
in Ulysses' crew
dies in that story,

and Ithaca falls
to absolute shit
in his absence.

But secondly,
is that a popped collar?

Because if you are trying
to get an entire continent
to trust you,

it's not a great idea
to show up looking
like Pitbull's uncle.

I have to say,

for a guy overseeing
an economy

on the edge of Armageddon,
he is pretty laid back.

He was even cracking jokes
in the press conference.

Enough of this
self-congratulation.

This is time for work.

I haven't finished.

Be patient.
It's a virtue.

That is a cocky attitude.

Your country is
on the verge of bankruptcy,

and you're acting
like a strip club manager

giving a speech
at his retirement party.

"Enough of this
self-congratulation.

"The poles are
getting cold, ladies,
so get back out there, Bambi."

Look, clearly,
he's a bit slimy.

Here's the problem, though;

the whole world's economy
depends on this guy,

and the more
you find out about him,

the scarier that seems.

♪
Woman: It's not his plan
nor his left-wing rhetoric

that has got
tongues wagging in Europe.

It's his informal style.

In London this week,
he unveiled an edgy look--

more biker
than finance minister.

What are you wearing?

Dress for
the economy you want,

not the economy
you have, because...

if I can just
give you a quick--

A quick bit
of criticism here:

You look like
a 50-year-old molly dealer

at a Greek discotheque.

How are we giving
this man billions?

I wouldn't give him $50,

because deep down,
you know I would never see
that money again,

because that is the face
of a man who would immediately
spend it all on scented lube.

That's a fact.
Let's move on.

Let's move on to Ukraine.

Let's move on to Ukraine,
where tensions with Russia

remain terrifyingly high,
because although there
was a ceasefire--

last weekend declared--

it was basically violated
almost as soon as it began.

And if you are looking
for someone to blame for that,

you don't have to look far.

Man: Ukraine claims


along with troops and supplies

crossed the border
into Ukraine.

Russian President
Vladimir Putin remarked today

"No one should have
the illusion

"they can gain
military superiority
over Russia."

Yes, Putin says Russia
is unconquerable,

like a doorknob
after you've just
put on hand lotion.

Just sit down.
You're not going anywhere
for at least two minutes.

And look, the thing is
he's not entirely wrong,

because it's beginning to seem
like the international community

is pretty powerless
to do anything regarding Putin,

which is why
what Egypt did recently

was so delightful.

You may have missed--
The week before last,

Putin was in Cairo
on a state visit,

even presenting
the Egyptian president
with an AK-47,

which is a bit condescending.

You don't give a g*n
as a gift to a world leader.

You give one to a child
in Texas on his 13th birthday.

We all know
how it works.

But here's the thing,
this is where it gets good.

Egypt decided to honor Putin

with a rendition
of his national anthem.

Now before I show you
what happened,

this is Russia's
national anthem

as played
at his inauguration.

[inspirational music playing]

That's a great anthem--

stirring, bold, powerful.

This is his anthem

as played
for him in Egypt.

[off-key version playing]

Look how angry he is!

And yet, he's just got
to stand there and take it.

Watch and learn,
international community,

because, sure,
to most countries like Egypt,

Putin is unconquerable,

but that does not mean
that you can't kick the shit

out of his national anthem
in front of him.

And finally--
finally, the United Kingdom--

it's having
an election in May.

Both parties
are campaigning hard,
especially for women voters.

The Conservative Party
has been accused of ignoring
women in the past,

so the Labor Party may have
a chance to capitalize,

as long as they don't make
any ridiculous mistakes.

The Labor Party has
been defending the color

it's chosen for a minibus
which is being used

in a campaign to try
to attract female voters.

The deputy Labour leader
Harriet Harman has defended

the decision to use
the color on the vehicle

already nicknamed
the Barbie Bus.

[laughter]
Wow!

It is a little insulting
that you're trying to appeal

to adult women voters
the same way that Mattel

attempts to appeal
to eight-year-olds.

And at least Barbie's pink bus
had the good sense

to unfold into a sweet hot tub
and party den combo.

That thing was sick.

Now understandably,

this bus has been more
than a little controversial,

with many women
in Britain reacting like this.

We're politically-minded,
we can read,

and we can access information

in the way that men
or anyone else can.

I think the pink bus is
a bit patronizing.

"A bit patronizing"?

The only way it could be
more patronizing

is if its wheels were
giant NuvaRings,

and they refused
to let women drive it.

Now, for some reason,
instead of apologizing,

the Labour Party has tried
to deny what color the van is,

insisting it was
cerise or magenta,

or trying to avoid
the question altogether.

Woman: And just
so we've got it on the record,

what color is this?

Hot... [laughs]

I'll tell you where we got--
I mean, it's like...
pink cerise.

I mean, I don't know.
People will call this color--

It's certainly a version
of pink, I would say.

I think she may have
just hit rock bottom.

You can see her thinking,
"I've gone into politics
to make a difference

"and now I'm on television,
desperately trying to act like
I don't know the color pink.

"What happened to my life?"

If this wasn't bad enough,

the Labour Party claimed
this is all part of an effort

to reach out to women and...

[reading graphic]

Yeah, you know, women.

They want to talk
to you where you are.

Not in a boardroom,
but in a kitchen,

or in a Baby Gap,

or underneath a giant pile
of yarn and romance novels.

You know, the places you go.

Incredibly, the pink bus has
still not been discontinued,

and at this point,
I'm almost glad

that Labour is not
doing damage control,

'cause I'm afraid
that if they did,
it would look like this.

♪
Announcer:
Women of the United Kingdom,

the Labour Party would like
to apologize to you

for our wrongheaded
pink van campaign.

We want you to know
that Labour respects you

which is why,
this general election,

we will focus on the issues
that we know matter to you.

And that means... ponies!

Look at the pretty pony.

It's a very pretty pony,
isn't it, women?

Like you, Labour cares
about this pony.

We'll brush
it's pretty pony hair.

And before you get offended,
you're right--

a pony is not enough.

That's why we dressed
the pony up in a pretty
princess outfit!

Princess Pony!
Princess Pony!
Princess Pony!

Vote for Labour in May,
and if you're very good,

we will come to your kitchen
and you can pet the pretty
princess pony.

Oh, don't be scared,
she's a nice pony,

not a mean pony.
Go on, pet the pony.

Do it now!
Pet the pretty Princess Pony!

Labour cares
about women's issues,
all of them.

So when it's time to vote,
remember:

You love ponies.
Labour has a pony.

Pony, pony, pony,

Ponies!

Vote Labour.

Our top story--

Our top story tonight
is judges,

wearers of America's
only formal muumuus.

Judges occupy
an exalted position

in American life,
but as important as they are,

we tend not to think
about them very much

unless one of them makes news,
as happened earlier this month.

A federal court
last month lifted Alabama's

ban on same-sex marriage,

but Roy Moore, the State
Supreme Court Chief Justice

ordered state judges
to ignore the federal ruling.

Yes, Alabama judge Roy Moore
refused an order to let
gay people marry,

living up to his state slogan,
"Alabama..."

[reading graphic]

Now, just out of interest,

what was
his judicial reasoning
for such a decision?

I think that gay marriage
is an alteration

of the definition
of marriage.

And the United States
Supreme Court does not
have the authority,

or the federal courts
do not have the authority

to interpret a word
that disputes the constitution.

What? Hold on. Hold on.

Not only can
the Supreme Court
override a state,

that's basically its job.

That's like telling dill
it can't ruin

any foodstuff it comes
into contact with.

That's what dill does!

Get out
of everyone's food, dill!

You're a filthy weed,
you wrecking ball!

Now, you mi--
you might be thinking,

"How did that man
get to become

"the highest judicial officer
in the state?"

Well, like 85%
of state judges in America,
he was elected.


for judges,

and America is
virtually alone
in doing this.

In fact, there's only
one other country on earth

that does it on this scale.
You can guess which.

You're wrong.
It's Bolivia,

a country
you think about so little,

you haven't even realized
that's not Bolivia.

This is Bolivia.

Actually-- Actually,
that's still not Bolivia.

This is Bolivia.
Or is it? Or is it?

This game is never
not gonna be fun.

Now, America has
been electing judges

since the early 1800s.

And the thing is, it all began
from a good impulse.

Judicial elections originated
as a reform measure.

So, people were concerned
that judges were

being selected
behind closed doors.

There wasn't any kind
of public accountability.

Okay, and public accountability
sounds great.

The problem is,
for many judges nowadays,

there's almost none of that.
Most run unopposed.

Last year in LA County,


ran unopposed.

Come on, they could at least
go through the motions

of pretending
there was another candidate.

Just throw a robe on a pelican
and tape a gavel to his wing.

Or-- I'll tell you what,
you're in LA,

just pretend
you're considering
Blake Lively for the job.

Movie studios do that
all the time.

And the problem is

whenever a judge
does face a challenger,

they have to run
like a politician,

and that's why
many states are subjected
to the bizarre spectacle

of ads like these.

Hi, I'm Allen Loughry.

I'm running
for our Supreme Court.

It's Loughry,
as in "law" and "free."

This is my house.
Come on in.

There's the kitchen.
Something smells good.

In my family room,
my wife Kelly Loughry,

and our son Justice Loughry.

That's right, Justice Loughry.

Yes, sir.

"Yup, I call
my son 'Justice,'

"I call
my dog 'Preamble,'

"and I call my penis
'The Gavel.' Vote for me.

"Boom. Boom!

"Boom! Boom! Boom!"

And sometimes,

campaigns opt
to sell a judge
with sheer catchiness.

♪ There's a judge
they call Paul Newby ♪

♪ He's got criminals
on the run ♪

♪ Paul's steely stare has
got 'em running scared ♪

♪ And he'll take 'em down
one by one ♪

♪ Paul Newby,
he's a tough old judge ♪

♪ Respected everywhere

♪ Paul Newby,
justice tough but fair ♪

♪ Paul Newby,
criminals best beware ♪

[laughter]
What? What just happened?

Am I supposed
to vote for that man

or root for him
to catch them Duke boys?

Look, I know
what you're thinking.

"Could any commercial
be less relevant

"to a judge's
qualifications for the job?"

I give you
Greg Beard.

Announcer:
Search and rescue
in Rapides Parish.

Here's volunteer diver
Greg Beard.

We have to know
what we're doing.

Study, train,
trust our team.

We do this
because it helps people.

Announcer: Greg Beard,
for Rapides Parish
district court judge.

When times are tough,
this dive team stands ready.

Of course. Of course.
It makes sense,

'cause when
I'm choosing a judge,

the only thing
I really care about is

"Who can hold
their breath the longest?"

Here's the thing.
All three of the men
in those ads

won their elections.

They're judges now,
judging people.

And the stupid ads are
actually the least problematic.

What's far more worrisome

is when judges
run ads like these.

Announcer:
Without blinking an eye,
Judge Kenneth Ingram

sentenced the k*ller to die.
[gavel bangs]

Announcer #2: Michael Oster
is the only candidate for judge

who has put our worst criminals
on death row.

It is my privilege
to sentence you

to life in prison
without parole.

Wait, it's your privilege?

At best it's your duty.

There are some jobs where

that kind
of occupational relish
is inappropriate.

If you're having a colonoscopy,
you don't want to hear,

"It is my privilege
to insert this camera

"deep inside your anus."

The problem
with an elected judiciary

is sometimes
the right decision

is neither easy
nor popular,

and yet
campaigns force judges

to look over their shoulder
on every ruling,

because while
political attack ads
can be aggressive,

judicial attack ads
can be downright horrifying.

I was convicted
of stabbing my victims
with a kitchen knife.

Of sh**ting
my ex-girlfriend

and murdering her sister
in front of our child.

Of sexual as*ault on a mom
and her 10-year-old daughter,

then I slashed
their throats.

On appeal,
Justice Thomas Kilbride
sided with us.

Over law enforcement
or victims.

Oh my god.

Good luck getting back into
whatever you were watching

after seeing that commercial.

Sheldon and his friends
are gonna have to get into
some pretty wacky mishaps

to wipe the memory
of that away.

Now, what those
evil shadows are saying

sounds awful,
but here's the problem:

None of those three men

were actually set free
by Judge Kilbride,

but in each case he merely
questioned the legality

of procedural points
in their trials,

which is a judge's job.

But there's no room
in campaigns for nuance.

That's why you don't see
bumper stickers reading,

"Justice is complicated,
requiring the sublimation

"of our basic instincts
which, though difficult,

"is the only thing
that separates us
from the anarchy of beasts.

"Kilbride 2015!"

The danger is, though--

The danger is
if ads like those

get inside judges' heads,

and make them rule
more harshly

to protect themselves
in the future.

And the problem is,
that does happen.

There are some academic studies
that have suggested

that judges do change
their behavior.

So, for example,
in election years,

if you look at judges'
sentencing decisions,

judges tend to be
harder on crime.

That's terrifying,

'cause you shouldn't
be sitting in a prison going,

"How did you get 15 months
for public urination?"

"Well, you know, it was October
in an election year.

"I should've known
what I was getting into."

And it's not like
appointing judges is
the perfect system.

We can all name one
that we don't like,

and it's usually
Antonin Scalia

or-- or-- or--
No, no, no, no, no.

Or, in his more palatable form,

a bulldog dressed
as Antonin Scalia.

So... here's the thing.

Elections are
inherently compromising,

because campaigns
cost money,

and that money has
to come from somewhere,

which leads
to the horrifying spectacle

of judges
hitting up lawyers
for donations.

Man: For attorneys
like Jules Olsman,

this is the most expensive
time of the year.

Election season is
when lawyers like him

have to dig deepest
into their wallets.

That's because every hour
or so, he'll get a call

from a judge's campaign
looking for a contribution.

Man #2:
It's very hard to say no?

It's impossible to say no.

Judges asking lawyers
to give them campaign money

is the definition
of a conflict of interest.

Think about it.
Giving money to judges
wouldn't be acceptable

in a state fair
squash growing competition.

"Oh, really?
Gladys gets first place?

"How much money
did she give you?

"'Cause I know that
that knobbly pile of shit

"is not the nicest squash
you've seen this afternoon.

"It looks like
the Jolly Green Giant's
d*ck fell off,

"and everyone here
knows it, Gladys.

"Everyone knows it."

Sometimes judges will
even shake lawyers down

after the election is over.

Democratic appeals court judge
Jim Sharp

sent a passive-aggressive email
to a Texas attorney

who had donated
to his unsuccessful opponent,

which said, "I trust that
you will see your way clear

"to contribute
to my campaign

"in an amount reflective

"of the $2,000 contribution

"you made towards my defeat."

Wink emoticon.

And the fact
that he's shaking him down,

isn't even the part
of that email
I find most offensive.

It's the wink emoticon.

I guess we should
all just be glad

he stopped short
of going full wink emoji.

Incredibly,
judges can even target

potential future defendants,

as a Philadelphia
traffic court judge candidate

named Willie Singletary
did at a biker rally.

[man speaking]

Crowd: Yeah!

Do all judges do this?

Are there divorce judges going
to IKEAs right now saying,

"Look, I know some
of you guys won't last.

"Who's got 50 bucks for me?
Cough up!"

Now, you'll be glad
to hear that that judge is
no longer on the bench,

although it wasn't
for taking those contributions,

but rather because
he allegedly once showed

cellphone pictures
of his genitals
to a colleague--

an accusation that yielded
a disciplinary hearing

whose magnificent opinion
featured the phrase...

[reading graphic]

...and determined he had...

[reading graphic]

Now, that's not
really relevant to the story
that I'm telling right now,

but I think you'll agree
you had to know that.

You deserve to know that.

And look,
it gets one step worse.

One step worse.
Judges also frequently benefit

from campaign money
given by businesses
and special interests.

And while they may claim that
that doesn't affect them,

multiple studies
have suggested otherwise.

Man: We looked
at the Ohio Supreme Court

and asked the question
of how often

they vote for contributors
who appear before them.

And the answer was, overall,
about 70% of the time,

and in the case
of one justice,

Terrence O'Donnell,


Now, Justice O'Donnell
says that there is
no connection there,

but the point is
he still said,

"Sure. Why not?"
in response to people

who gave him money


and the only other person
who does that is Nicolas Cage.

That's-- He only--
It's been a disaster, Nicolas.

It's been a romp,
but it's been a disaster.

And to be fair,
many judges don't
like this system.

Even Ohio Supreme Court
Justice Paul Pfeifer
has said...

[reading graphic]

Which does explain
Pfeifer's campaign slogan,

[reading graphic]

And increasingly
since Citizens United,

PACs and Super PACs
are getting involved.

In fact,
remember the banjo ad?

The one you're
still humming in your head?

That was sponsored
by a PAC called

the North Carolina
Judicial Coalition,

whose funders
include businesses
like R.J. Reynolds.

And remember this one?

I was convicted
of stabbing my victims
with a kitchen knife.

Of sh**ting
my ex-girlfriend

and murdering her sister
in front of our child.

That was sponsored
by something called Just PAC,

whose donors
include Koch Industries,

the US Chamber of Commerce,

and John Deere PAC.

Yes, the people
who make tractors

also apparently help
make judicial decisions
for the people of Illinois.

And look,
when you have a system

where judges
are serenaded with banjos,

shake down lawyers
for money,

compare themselves
to prostitutes,

and live in constant fear
of tractors,

you have a problem,

because faith in a strong,
independent judiciary

is essential
for a civilized society.

Without it,
we're settling disputes
either in Thunderdomes

or via the Purge.

And I still can't work out
how that thing works.

Are there any rules?
Are time zones a factor
in the Purge?

Is the east coast Purge an hour
before the Purge Central Time?

In which case,
nobody tweet about it.

It spoils it
for everyone.

Look, if we're going
to keep electing judges,

we may have to alter
our idea of what justice is.

In fact, at the very least,

to be a bit
more representative,

we should tweak
the blindfolded lady
holding scales

to put a tip jar
in her hand

and give her a f*cking
winking emoji for a face.

And now this.

♪
[announcer speaking]

You look cold, Chad.

I am freezing, Carol.

They wouldn't let me go get
my storm gear for this hit,

so I'm standing out here

in this suit
and this little coat.

Got a little
strep throat, a little cold,
maybe some influenza.

I'm not even sure
what's going on in this head.

Woman:
Chad Myers, we even called him

in here, this is so big.
I know.

That's right. You never
call me in when there's
actually good weather.

You always bring me in
when there's something
bad to talk about.

I'm afraid Punxsutawney Phil
may have been right, for once.

Hey, Chad, happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving.

I grabbed the short drumstick,
and here I am.

Don Lemon:
Good to see both of you,
especially you.

Good to see you, Don.
Yeah.

Send me to New York
and then they work me to death.

When I was six,
I did get coal in my stocking.

Woman: The Smithsonian
says it looks like

a cross between
a house cat and a teddy bear.

Chad:
My wife already wants one.

Oh no. Would you
go with your wife?

[chuckles]
With a marriage counselor.

[both laugh]

They go to Florida,
and they like it.

My parents were down there
for quite some time.

I was in Detroit, and they would
laugh at me all the time.

Oh, I would too.

Let's bring in Chad Myers now.

The big thing is--

Aw, look at you. You're crying.
Don't be sad, Chad.

This is a very strong storm.

Anderson.
Chad Myers, thanks.

Let's check in
with Susan Hendricks, 360--

Chad:
Could you wait till I'm done?

If it ends up over land
and touches down on land,
it becomes a tornado?

You've been paying attention.

And finally-- Finally,

this week was
the Chinese New Year.

Objectively,
the best new year,

not only because it doesn't
involve Ryan Seacrest,

but because China
goes all out.

Woman: Across the country,
people welcome the Year
of the Sheep

with elaborate light displays,

dancing, and even
a fireworks-like performance

using molten iron.

Okay, that seems
immensely unsafe,

unless they are
k*lling a Terminator,

in which case, by all means,
you do what you have to do.

Yes, this week
marked the beginning

of the Year of the Sheep,
unless...

it didn't.

So it's the Year of the Sheep
and the Year of the Goat, right?

Exactly. The Year
of the Sheep/Goat.

It depends
on where you're from,

but they're all
essentially the same.

The Year of the Ram,
Goat, Sheep--

Whatever you want
to call it.

Year of the Goat
or Year of the Sheep,

depending on which
translator you ask.

That's actually true.

You see, the problem here is
in the Chinese language,

the same word, "yang," is used
for both sheep and goat.

In fact,
without a qualifier,

it can mean any hoofed animal
that eats grass and bleats.

So technically,
if she was wearing high heels
and eating a salad,

this could be
the Year of Stevie Nicks.

So the point is--
the point is

the centerpiece
of the Chinese festivities

is their annual
New Year's Gala,

and it is incredible.

Man: The New Year's Gala is
an old-school variety show,

a five-hour marathon
heavy on song, dance,

and Communist Party style
patriotism.

It's a cultural
phenomenon in China,

drawing more viewers
than the Oscars,

Emmys, and VMAs combined.

Oh, it doesn't stop there,

'cause you can
throw in the Super Bowl
and the Latin Grammys,

and you're still not close.


tune into the Gala.

That's one
in every 10 people on earth.

And when you see it,
it starts to make sense,

'cause the opening number alone

was quite possibly
the happiest song of all time.

[singing in Chinese]

Holy shit!
That kid is amazing!

See? By the way,
see, Caillou?

That's what a bald child is
supposed to behave like.

He's outside.
He's living his life.

He's having adventures, Caillou!

Grow up!

And look,
that was just the beginning.

The Gala also featured

contortionists pouring water
with their feet,

a man chugging rice wine,

and someone else
spinning around
on roller skates

with a child on his head
while a giant robot looks on.

And that alone is China
in microcosm right there--

a gigantic machine
looming over its subjects,

forcing them to be
more coordinated

than anyone thought
was physically possible.

Clearly, the Chinese take

their New Year's celebrations
very seriously.

So when the American consulate
in Hong Kong put together
a video to celebrate it,

I can only assume
it was equally spectacular.

[speaks Chinese]
♪

[speaks Chinese]

Where to, CG Hart?

All right, stop, stop,
stop, stop right there.

What the f*ck was that?

Let's pray that no one
in mainland China saw that,

because slapping
a pair of sunglasses
on a stuffed sheep

seems like an insult.

Even I can
do better than that.

Watch, watch, watch.
I'll do it right now.

There you go. There you go.
Happy New Year!

Please enjoy
my articulated mouth

and full range of motion.
Mm-hmm.

It's the least
I can do for a nation

which owns over
a trillion dollars of US debt

to welcome in
the year of me!

Exactly.
Wait, wait. Excuse me.
Excuse me, gentlemen.

The year of whom? Huh?

This is the Year of the Goat.
Oh boy, this is not
gonna be good.

This is the Year of the Sheep.
No, honey, it's the Year
of the Goat.

The Sheep!
Goat!

No, no, no, no.
Okay, okay, okay.
[both shouting]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Guys, guys, guys,

this is just
a cultural misunderstanding.

The Chinese language
actually doesn't make
a specific distinction

between the two of you.

Well, we're completely
different, okay?

Goats have beards, see?

See, see, see?
Sheepies, they can't
grow beards.

They're like Topher Grace.
Oh, okay. Fair enough.

Well, my cheese
has vitamin C!

Well, so what?
Who eats the cheese
for the vitamin C, huh?

Okay.
Hey, fun fact, Johnny:

I eat tin cans.
No, no, no, that is
an urban legend.

Oh, I've done it.
You calling me a liar?

Oh yeah, sweetheart.
Yeah, bring it.
No, no, no. Guys, guys, guys!

Guys, guys. [babbles]
I actually know one way
that you are different.

Only one of you
goes well with mint jelly.

[gasps]

f*ck you.
Let's ram this guy.

Yeah.
Oh, hey, no, no, no!

[both grunting]
Guys, stop! Stop! Stop it!

That's our show!
Join us again next week!
Here's your Happy New Year!

♪
Happy Year
of the Goat/Sheep!

Good night!
Guys, stop it!

Stop it. Stop it.
Be good. Don't bite.

No biting. No biting.

No biting.
No biting.

[babbles]
Stop it. Stop. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.