03x07 - Campaign finance in the United States

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Last Week Tonight with John Oliver". Aired: April 27, 2014 – present.*
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American late-night talk and news satire television program hosted by comedian John Oliver.
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03x07 - Campaign finance in the United States

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[TV static drones]

[bright tone]

[upbeat rock music]



[cheers and applause]

- Welcome, welcome, welcome
to "Last Week Tonight."

I'm John Oliver.

Thank you so much
for joining us.

Just time for a quick
recap of the week,

and we begin
with nuclear weapons:

the most terrifying thing
you can stockpile,

right after baby dolls.

[laughter]

[shudders]

This week--
this week saw

the biennial
Nuclear Security Summit

in Washington.

All the major
world leaders were there.

Well, almost all of them.

Todd: One leader who could
make a huge difference

in securing nuclear material
was a no-show.

Vladimir Putin has once again
snubbed President Obama.

- And that is not ideal,

because a nuclear summit

is pretty much
the only gathering

where you can legitimately say,
"Man, this would be

so much better if
Vladimir Putin were here."

[laughter]

It's pretty much that.

Russia had actually announced

Putin would be
skipping the summit

a year and a half ago,

which is a pretty strong
statement.

Normally, you only decline
something that far in advance

if it's a wedding save the date
from your ex-fiancée.

"Oh, nice try, Beth.

"As it happens,
I am busy 17 months from now.

"Why?

"f*ck you, that's why.

You hurt me, Beth."

But even without Putin,
there were plenty of issues

regarding nuclear weapons
to talk about,

especially the fact that,

just two days
before they gathered,

America's potential
next president

mentioned that he would
be perfectly comfortable

with other countries
becoming nuclear powers,

including Japan
and South Korea.

- At some point,
we have to say,

"You know what?

"We're better off
if Japan protects itself

"against this maniac
in North Korea.

"We're better off, frankly,
if South Korea

is going to start
to protect itself."

Cooper: Saudi Arabia,
nuclear weapons?

- Saudi Arabia, absolutely.

- Absolutely.
Yep.

He says that
with the confidence

of a man who could easily
find Saudi Arabia on the map

if--if he was
given three tries,

and the map only included
countries ending with "Arabia."

And--and that's not all,
because this week,

Trump also refused to rule out
using nuclear weapons in Europe,

for reasons including,
and I quote,

"Europe is a big place,"

and "It's a big place,"
is not a good excuse

for using nuclear weapons.

It's barely a good excuse
for peeing in the ocean.

[laughter]

It was--it was clearly
extremely important

that the president
try and reassure

the rest of the planet

by providing some context
for Trump's remarks.

- The person
who made the statements

doesn't know much
about foreign policy,

or nuclear policy,
or the Korean Peninsula,

or the world generally.

- Yeah, President Obama
is basically implying there

that you could fill a book

with the things
Donald Trump doesn't know,

that book being
the encyclopedia.

[laughter]

But--but let's turn now
to happier news:

the baseball season
started today.

[cheers and applause]

Yeah, exactly.

It's a romantic time,

because anything
is still possible.

The Cubs could win it all,

Ichiro could join
the elite 3,000 Hit Club,

and the Philly Phanatic
could get waxed

and finally reveal
the tight, slammin' bod

he's been hiding
under all that green fur.

Good for him.

He looks good.
Good for him.

There is only one thing,
however,

that we can all be absolutely
sure of this season,

and that is that
the New York Yankees

will continue finding ways

to look like the biggest
elitist assholes

in all of sports.

This is--this is,
after all,

a team that does things
like blow $275 million on A-Rod,

a man who poses for photos
like this one.

Ahoy there!

Ahoy there, assh*le!

[laughter]

It's like that scene
from "Titanic,"

except this time,

you're actively rooting
for the sea.

[laughter]

The Yankees even have
what they call

a "Legends Club"
for elite members,

and their sales pitch for it

is just as obnoxious
as you'd expect.

- Legends is an amazing,
amazing private club.

It's the first five rows
of our stadium.

We have first-class
accommodations,

five-star dining,
in-seat service.

We have an amazing
concierge team

that assists with any needs
that you do have

with a concierge.

We do have
our private suite entrance,

which is for
our Legends clients,

where they access the lobby

and access before any
of the rest of our guests.

- "That's right, we provide
priority lobby access.

"And for our
Diamond Elite members,

"we'll even drive you
to a restaurant

"nowhere near the stadium
so you don't have to fraternize

with these baseball-loving
peasants."

[laughter]

And this is where
the Yankees have, amazingly,

found a way to even
antagonize their own fans,

because this year,
they got rid of the option

to print tickets at home,

and when fans complained
that this would

make it harder for them
to resell those tickets online,

the Yankees COO,
Lonn Trost,

seen here posing
in the exact way

you'd expect a
Yankees executive to pose--

he went on the radio
and denied those effects,

but in doing so,
threw in a comment

that made it clear
what he thinks

of some of Yankees'
less affluent fans.

- Wow. Wow.

He's saying rich people
couldn't bear

to sit next to people
who aren't as rich,

which would be offensive
if you were

talking about the opera,
much less a sport

whose primary fashion statement
is the goatee.

And--and that is why
the Yankees make sure

no one gets into
their most premium seating

who doesn't belong there.

And that explains why
so many of their fanciest seats

are often empty
during the season.

But for the first three games
of this season at least,

there will be riffraff
in those seats,

and I'll tell you why.

We bought two Legends seats

to the first
three games this week,

and they are right in this area,
behind home plate.

They're right behind home plate.

And we will sell them to you
for just 25¢ apiece

on one condition:

you must dress
like you have never sat

in a premium location before.

[laughter]

What that means
can be up to you.

That's up to you.

Simply--
simply tweet us a photo

of what you and a guest
would wear to the game,

with the hashtag:

Make sure to include a hashtag

for the game you'd
want to attend,

so that's #Monday,
#Wednesday, or #Thursday,

and we will pick the winners

based on the looks
we like the best.

We are legally bound to give you
these contest rules,

as well as mention
that the Yankees

are not involved
in this contest in any way,

although that should be
pretty f*cking obvious by now.

Enjoy the game,

and please give A-Rod our best.

[cheers and applause]

And now this:

- So I'm cross-training,

and I train with Frayne.

It's--he's the Marquis de Sade
of personal trainers.

- You have broad shoulders.
- I do.

- Yes.
- They're getting broader.

- Yeah.
- With my trainer, Eddie.

I have a trainer.

He's the Marquis de Sade
of trainers.

I train with Frayne.

You don't train specifically
with Eddie Frayne.

- Well, you know--
- He might be too tough for you.

If you want,
I'll show you what I do.

Here with some workout tips
is my trainer, Eddie Frayne.

This is for the lower back.

People do not do enough
for the lower back.

I want to be Jack LaLanne,
that's who I want to be.

- Yes.
- He's gone now, but--

- But he was in great shape
to the end.

- I want to be doing
one-armed push-ups.

- Just like that,
working his triceps.

- For the straight leg lift.
- All right, walk it out.

- It's hard.
It's an hour.

When you train with Frayne,
it's hard.

I'm gonna see if it's possible,
'cause I have a trainer.

- Straight legs.
Keep his legs straight.

- You did 30, and I did 40,
and you were whining

and saying,
"Let's go to break."

You're involved
in this next one.

- No, I'm not.

I'm involved in making sure
that I check--

- You can use the girly
knee push-up if you want.

- No.

Anyway, let's get a check
on the markets this morning.

[laughter]

- Moving on.

Our main story tonight
concerns political fundraising,

and before you roll your eyes,
this not going to be

about how money corrupts
presidential candidates.

For that,
you can read much more

on your most annoying friend's
Facebook posts.

"Dan, that is a comment
on a picture of a baby.

"What the f*ck
is wrong with you?

Take it down."

I would like to talk instead
about congressional fundraising,

which is much less covered
but no less astonishing.

In the 2014 election cycle,

candidates for
the House and Senate

raised a combined $1.7 billion.

That's a lot of money.

That's more
than it costs to buy


of hemorrhoidal cooling gel,

and it's somehow
even more upsetting.

Now--now, interestingly,
much of that money

has to be raised,
one way or another,

by the politicians themselves,

which they have
complained about for years

and say that it can be
the worst part of their job.

- You know,
I hated raising money.

Hated it.

- It's painful, frankly,

to continually
ask people for money.

- If Don and I could tell you
how many hours we spend

with our good colleagues
on our side of the issues

talking about raising money,
it would be an embarrassment.

Because it is an embarrassment.

- Wow, an embarrassment!

That is a strong statement,

although he may be
overestimating

Congress's capacity
for embarrassment,

'cause bear in mind,
we are talking about a place

where these moments happened:

- "Do you like
green eggs and ham?

"I do not like them,
Sam I Am.

I do not like
green eggs and ham."

- Two bits, four bits,
six bits, a dollar.

All for the Gators,
stand up and holler.

Go Gators!

- ♪ Meet the Mets,
meet the Mets ♪

♪ Step right up
and greet the Mets ♪

- ♪ Don't know much
about chemistry ♪

♪ Don't know much toxicology

♪ Don't know what's
ammonium nitrate ♪

♪ Except it's easy
to detonate ♪

♪ But I do know that IST

♪ Was used to increase
our security ♪

♪ What a much safer world
this could be ♪

♪ Don't know much
about gas chlorine ♪

- Oh, my God.

What is most shocking
about that last clip

is that he read the room
and decided,

"You know what?

"I think they want
to hear another verse.

"I think I'm gonna do
another verse here.

I'm reading this room,
and I'm doing it."

But the sheer amount of time
politicians spend fundraising

is not just embarrassing.

It's horrifying.

Some say
that members can spend

anywhere from 25% to 50%
of their time on it,

but former Senate majority
leader Tom Daschle

once guessed that,
in the two years

before an election,

senators can spend 2/3
of their time raising money,

and if 2/3 of the work you do
is strictly about the money,

you're not a legislator.

You're Robert De Niro
at that point.

So tonight--
tonight, let's look

at where that time
actually goes,

and let's begin
with the most obvious

form of fundraising:
fundraisers.

These are usually
shitty parties

in D.C. bars, restaurants,
or townhouses,

and there are a lot of them.

The Sunlight Foundation
estimates

that in the last election cycle,

members of Congress
held over 2,800 fundraisers.

Washington is like
Rod Stewart's haircut:

party in the front,
party in the back.

Frankly, too much party

and no business
anywhere to be found.

[laughter]

Fundraisers are
so ubiquitous in D.C.,

you could conceivably construct
a whole day around them,

which is exactly what former
Iowa representative Bruce Braley

did on September 20, 2012,
when at 8:30 a.m.,

he held a fundraising breakfast,

followed at noon
by a fundraising lunch,

and ending with a fundraising
evening reception.

By that time, he was less
a member of Congress

than he was a sentient
storage container for canapés.

In fact, fundraisers
are such an integral part

of D.C.'s economy,
some restaurants derive

a decent chunk of their income
just from hosting them.

Look at Johnny's Half Shell,

It's a seafood restaurant
just blocks from the Capitol.

In the past 10 years,

a whopping 948
congressional fundraisers

have been held there.

It is almost inevitable
that your elected representative

will have spent
at least some time

in a place
that markets itself thusly.

- Here's to the champagne
and oysters at Johnny's.

- Here's to Johnny's crab cakes.

- Here's to the sliders
at happy hour.

- Here's to the hard shell crabs

at Johnny's Half Shell
on the Terrace.

all: Here's to Johnny's!

- Here's to you and your time
at Johnny's Half Shell.

[laughter]

- He is--he is a
significant figure in D.C.

Influential decisions
are being made

under the watchful eye of a man
who looks like Jon Bon Jovi's

less talented step-cousin,
Jim Ban Jarvi.

[laughter]

Some--
some politicians even

turn their own
personal milestones

into fundraising opportunities,

like Republican Andy Barr,

who held a 41st
birthday fundraiser,

which cost a minimum
of $500 per person to attend.

Or there's Florida
representative

Ileana Ros-Lehtinen,

who turned her


into a fundraiser,

an event that is almost
breathtaking in its sadness,

'cause a 30th
wedding anniversary

should not be about
raising political capital.

It should be about eating
a largely silent dinner,

k*lling two bottles of wine,
forgetting to have sex,

and falling asleep
to a "Friends" rerun.

Honor the anniversary
and do it right.

[cheers and applause]

And in perhaps the most pathetic
bid for hipness available,

many members of Congress

will even stage fundraisers
at pop concerts.

- The power of Taylor Swift

not only changes
the music business,

it makes money,
and so much so

that some of
Washington's elites

are capitalizing on
the pop princess's "1989" tour,

which stops over
in D.C. tonight.

- We have over ten Republicans,
five Democrats, three PACs,

all raising money
off this Taylor Swift concert,

tickets going into thousands
upon thousands of dollars.

Some of these
members we spoke to,

specifically Representative
Beyer of Virginia,

who's having a fundraiser.

He goes, his daughter
turned him on to Taylor Swift.

He likes her feminist lyrics,

and that is why
they're moving forward.

- It's true.

Representative Don Beyer

held a fundraiser
at a Taylor Swift concert.

And I don't know about you,

but this man
is not feeling 22.

[laughter]

He is feeling and looking
very much 65.

[laughter]

But amazingly,
all of this is glamorous

compared to the hours and hours

that politicians spend
fundraising over the phone.

A few years ago,
a PowerPoint presentation

from the Democratic
Congressional Campaign Committee

to freshmen lawmakers leaked,

and it was showing
their model schedule,

which suggested
four hours a day of call time.

Four hours on the phone!

The only time that makes sense

is if you're trying
to have phone sex with Sting.

[laughter]

"Have you come yet?

"It's been three hours.

"Have you come yet?

"I've got stuff to do, Gordon.

This can't be my day."

And look,
horrendously,

lawmakers have even
been pulled out of hearings

to go do that call time.

- The first week
I was down here,

we were having a committee
hearing on education,

and my chief of staff
at that time

came in and said,
"You have to leave."

You know, we went into
the anteroom,

and I said,
"Where do I have to go?"

And she goes, "You have to
go make phone calls."

And I looked at her,
and I'm going,

"This is my first hearing,

"and you're coming in
and asking me to leave?

How am I gonna
learn anything?"

- Exactly.

She was a rookie legislator.

She needed to learn
how to do her job.

The Knicks don't pull rookie
Kristaps Porzingis out of a game

so he can go make cold calls
to season ticket holders,

'cause that would not
be the best use

of Kristaps Porzingis's time.

[laughter]

And if you think that sounds

like a dehumanizing process,

rest assured.

It is.

- I felt used
when I had to go raise money.

I was embarrassed.

I thought it was ugly.

I thought it was demeaning.

My staff kept saying,
"You got to go do it."

I said, "I don't like it."

You get a Rolodex,

and you get to go
outside the building

for a whole day
and dial numbers

of jerks you've never heard of
in your whole life

to get money out of them.

- He's absolutely right.

If you want to get money
out of a bunch of jerks

you've never heard of before,

you shouldn't have to
call them on the phone

when you can simply
open a vape shop.

Boom, done.

[laughter]

Done.

And if you are wondering

why he said he had to
go outside the building,

that's because
according to federal law,

members of Congress can't
solicit or receive donations

in their offices,

so each party's
congressional committee

has set up call rooms
in their party headquarters,

just a few blocks
from the Capitol.

We couldn't find any footage
from inside those rooms,

but they sound pretty grim.

- They've got cubicles,
and they've got a headset,

and they often have a minder

who sort of
sits at their shoulder

and makes sure that they don't
take too long on each call.

They say that the building

can really start to stink
after a while.

After a few hours,

it starts to smell
like a locker room.

- Yeah, but--
but what do you expect?

Half the people in that room
probably spent their morning

slurping down oysters

in an '80s hockey player's
sweaty crab shack.

And just about all lawmakers
have to do this,

even those,
like Eleanor Holmes Norton,

in ludicrously safe seats.

She regularly gets reelected
with over 80% of the vote,

but despite that,
roughly six years ago,

she wound up leaving
this voicemail for a lobbyist.

- That is so depressing to hear,

even before
you think about her

calling from a room
filled with the odor

of Steny Hoyer's shrimp burps.

[laughter]

And remember,
her seat is safe.

It's so safe, she barely needs
campaign funds for herself.

The problem is,
members are still expected

to pay dues
to their own party,

which can then be distributed
to candidates in tougher races.

"Buzzfeed"
actually got its hands

on a DCCC spreadsheet
two years ago showing,

"the amount of money
the Committee expects

each member to pay,"

with figures ranging
from $125,000 at the low end,

all the way up
to $800,000 at the top.

So is it any wonder
that politicians

are hitting up
their customer base

harder than a Girl Scout
with gambling debts?

"Oh, two--two boxes of Samoas?

"Nah, nah,
f*ck that.

"f*ck that.

"Four boxes.
Four boxes or I walk.

"Four boxes.

"You get four boxes.

I know where you live."

[laughter]

"Four for you."

And if you are desperately
trying to rack up dollars,

that can affect
the kind of people

that you are
targeting on the phone,

as Senator Chris Murphy
explains.

- For a Senate race,
I'm not calling anybody

who doesn't have
the chance of giving me

at least $1,000 dollars.

So you got to imagine
that the people I'm calling,

you know,
are folks that are,

you know, making
$1/2 million to $1 million,

and you know, they have
fundamentally different problems

than everybody--
everybody else.

- And that is a huge problem,

because it cannot help
but affect

the way you see the world
if you're only calling

donors rich enough
that their main concerns

are estate taxes
or which Belgian kimono

their cat will wear that day.

[laughter]

That's a good choice, though.

But--but to be fair--
now, to be fair,

direct fundraising by candidates
is just one part of a system

that also includes super PACs
and so-called dark money.

Although, to be even fairer,
it is still the largest part.

And regulating campaign finance
is going to be difficult.

For a start,
there's the Supreme Court's


decision,

which basically held
that spending money

is a form of speech.

And sure, there are times
when that's probably true.

For example,
a 50-year-old man

spending money on a convertible
is loudly saying,

"I would like to sexually
disappoint a woman half my age."

He's--and we are hearing him
loud and clear.

He's being heard.

But a bigger problem
is that while both sides

agree they hate this,

neither wants to unilaterally
back down first.

It's basically a cold w*r,
but worse,

because at least
in the real Cold w*r,

we got a trip to the Moon

and the third best
"Rocky" villain out of it.

Which is not to say
that there are not

some attempts to address
parts of the problem.

Democrats have pushed
the DISCLOSE Act,

which would force
more transparency on dark money,

and one Republican congressman

has something
called the Stop Act,

which would prohibit
members of Congress

from personally
asking for donations.

But those would be
very small fixes.

Now, a larger idea
is perhaps

the Government
By the People Act,

which would give tax credits

and provide public funding
for candidates

by matching small donations
at a ratio of at least 6 to 1.

But before you get too excited
about that idea,

two slight caveats:

first, we asked,
and it would cost

an estimated
$500 million a year,

which is a lot;

and second,
govtrack.us,

which offers predictions

on whether bills
are likely to pass,

gives it a 0% chance
in our current Congress.

Just flat zero,
which kind of makes you wonder

if they tried to find something
more harsh than zero,

like "negative zero"
or "aw, hell zero,"

or just a zero
with a frowny face in it.

And that's a bit frustrating,
because remember,

people in Congress are the ones
constantly complaining

about the time that they are
forced to waste on fundraising.

In fact, Steve Israel,
a Democrat from Long Island,

announced his retirement
at the beginning of this year,

saying, "I don't think
I can spend another day

"in another call room
making another call,

begging for money."

And since
he's leaving anyway,

I figured he might be
willing to shine a light

on some of the aspects
of fundraising

that we don't usually see,

so I sat down
with Steve Israel last week.

Take a look.

Congressman, thank you so much
for agreeing to talk with me.

- Thank you.

- So let's start

with political fundraising.

In your prime,
how many of those fundraisers

were you physically
having to go to a year?

- So all told,
over 16 years,

I've done,
just for my own reelection,



- Holy shit.
- Actual events.

- That is one
every three days,

more or less.

- Over 16 years, yeah.

Yeah, that' a lot.

- I'm gonna say three words
to you, Congressman.

- Mm-hmm.

- Johnny's Half Shell.

- I know it well.

- Oh, yeah,
no shit you do.

- Yeah.

- What is it like in there?

- It is like--
look, it's like

any restaurant in America.

- Which has lots of people
in suits raising money.

- The difference is,
you have candidates

and members of Congress
and supporters

who are contributing $1,000

for the privilege
of having some shellfish.

- It's just--
it's interesting to me

how every working
Congressperson in this city

has a basic understanding
of Johnny's Half Shell.

- Right, I don't think I ever
had a fundraiser for myself...

- No, you have.

- At that restaurant,
but I just don't remember.

- No, in 2011, you had
a breakfast fundraiser

at the Half Shell
that started at 8:30 a.m.

- Right.

- Congressman, no one goes
to a seafood restaurant

at 8:30 in the morning

without expecting
something in return.

No one is saying, "Well,
I was gonna be there anyway

"to have my bucket
of breakfast shrimp.

I'll swing by
Steve's thing."

- And that is the problem
with the system,

is that people believe
that if they are in that room,

having supported a campaign,
that they get access.

Oliver: And in case
access to Steve Israel

wasn't enticing enough,

a review of his
fundraiser invites

threw up a common theme.

Some congressmen
have barbecue.

Some have fishing trips.

What was your thing?

- I did Long Island
pizza night.

- Bit there was another theme
to your fundraisers.

Wasn't there?
- Yes.

What was it?

- Well, I think
you know what it was.

- I am anxious to know.

- You had an annual
Long Island wine trip,

Long Island
wine tasting in D.C.,

Long Island wine
and cigar tasting.

I hope those were not
Long Island cigars.

And an event called
"Chinese food and politics,"

where I'm gonna
go ahead and say

that you washed down
your General Tso's Chicken

with a glass of...

- No, no, no.

You cannot bring Long Island
wine to Chinese food.

- Why, does Long Island Wine
not pair well with Chinese food?

- Not Washington
Chinese food.

- What does it pair well with,
street v*olence?

- You're not gonna
get me to say

one negative thing
about Long Island wine.

I am very proud of it.

Oliver:
But I hadn't come here

to talk about terrible wine.

I wanted to talk about
the engine room

of congressional fundraising.

Talk to me about
the congressional call center.

How important is that place?

- Well, you've got to have
a place to make those calls.

- What does it look like?

Paint me a word picture.

Is there, you know,
motivational posters

on the walls saying,
"Hang in there,"

and, "Try not to think too much
about what you're doing"?

- You have a bunch
of cubicles set up

and those cheap
fabric dividers,

and you sit at a little desk,
and you have a phone,

and you have
an assistant next to you,

and you have a call book.

And the call book has
sheets of every donor,

past donors and their records.

And your assistant gets
a supporter on the phone

and gives the phone to you,

and you engage
in polite conversation,

and then you get to the point,

and then you hang up,

and then you flip the page
to the next donor,

and then you make another call.

And you continue doing that

until you have the resources
in order to get reelected.

- Oh, my God,
that's depressing.

- Not what our founders
had in mind.

- How do you train people
to do it well?

Is there a script, like,
with small talk

and how they could be
part of the solution?

How does it work?
- No.

Every member has
their own approach.

My approach was to get
right to the point

and then have a
civilized conversation.

- Okay, I mean,
I guess it makes sense.

It's just like someone
giving you a massage

and starting with a hand job
and then working the shoulders.

It's fine;
it's just unexpected.

- Well, everybody has
their own style

and their own preferences.

- How much time is there
between hanging up that phone

and the next call?

- You got to keep moving.

You have to keep moving.

If you are in a very
competitive district,

and you know you've got
to raise $1.5 million,

that means that
you have to raise

a certain amount
of money every quarter.

You break it down to a certain
amount of money every month,

you break it down to a certain
amount of money every week,

and you break it down
to a certain amount of money

in every hour of call time.

- This whole call center

sounds like a shitty
telemarketing operation.

- It is, in my view,
a form of t*rture,

and it is--the real
victims of this t*rture

have become
the American people,

because they believe
that they don't

have a voice in this system.

- Now, most good
telemarketing operations

have a boss who holds
people's feet to the fire

and forces them to make calls
and hit their quotas.

Who was that boss for you?

- Well, my boss
was the prospect

of losing my election
to a Republican

who would undo
all the work I did

for the middle class--
that prospect.

- Yeah, but also,
I'm getting to the point--

I'm getting to the point
that you were the chairman.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

Yes, so I was the chairman

of the Democratic Congressional
Campaign Committee.

- So you were that boss.

You were the one pushing
people to hit quotas.

- I had a responsibility
to tell them,

"You need to spend time
raising money

to come to Washington
to change the system."

Oliver: And he must have
told them that a lot,

because in Steve Israel's
time as chairman,

he managed to push members
of the DCCC

to hit record fundraising
levels.

- We outraised the NRCC
by $16.2 million.

That's never happened before.

Oliver: And it can't have been
easy for Steve Israel

to hate something he was
so demonstrably good at.

It's like finding out this guy
hates having bees on his face.

I mean, he's not wrong;
it's absolutely repulsive.

It's just weird that he chose
to do it in the first place.

And with his
congressional career

coming to an end,

it was time
to toast Steve Israel

in the most
appropriate way possible.

Um...
- Here we go.

- I brought some
Long Island wine

in, I believe,
the traditional bag.

- It's a very good
vintage, actually.

Is that a 2016?

- Does it go back
further than that?

- I wouldn't recommend
drinking it out of the bag.

- Oh, oh, Congressman,

I would never
do this to a glass.

[laughter]

[cheers and applause]

- Not bad
for wine in a bag.

- Sure.

That's fair.

Yes, what better way
to end a bittersweet career

than with the bittersweet taste
of North Fork Chardonnay?

Savor every last drop, Steve.

You've earned it.

[cheers and applause]

That's our show.

Thanks so much for watching.

See you next week.

Good night!

[cheers and applause]

[bright tone]
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