03x23 - Hillary Clinton's controversies and Donald Trump's controversies

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- Welcome, welcome, welcome
to "Last Week Tonight."

I'm John Oliver. Thank you
so much for joining us.

We are back
after a whole month away.

And we've missed so much,
since we've been gone,

from Apple introducing
a cutting-edge way

to lose their products,
to once again celebrating

America's greatest
goose m*rder*r,

to just this week,

a nightmare endorsing
a panic attack.

But we must begin tonight with
the protests in Charlotte,

following yet another
fatal sh**ting by the police

of an African-American man.

The police videos
of the incident

were released late last night,
after significant resistance,

including an excuse
from the local police chief

that was far from reassuring.

reporter:

- Sure. I appreciate
your passion,

but I never said
"full transparency."

I said "transparency."

And transparency's in
the eye of the beholder.

[laughter]

- No, it isn't.

That's literally the opposite

of what the word
"transparent" means.

None of us could behold
the tape

because of how un-transparent
you were being.

Look. The protests this week

following the sh**t
in Charlotte and Tulsa

clearly raise big issues,
from police accountability

to institutional racism,
all of which

require time and sensitivity
to discuss.

Or, if you're North Carolina
Representative Robert Pittenger,

they're actually pretty simple.

- The grievance in the mind
is the animus, the anger.

They hate white people 'cause
white people are successful

and they're not.

I mean, yes, it is.
It is a welfare state.

We have spent trillions
of dollars on welfare,

but we've put people
in bondage

so that they can't be all
that they're capable of being.

- Wow. That is some
toxic stuff.

And just look at the expression
on that journalist's face.

[laughter]

It's half confusion
and half wonder

at witnessing that kind
of racism being spoken aloud,

instead of coming out
of a Twitter egg

named "Aryan the Hendersons."

Now, unsurprisingly,
Pittenger had to quickly

walk those comments back,
which should've been easy.

Simply apologize and
avoid some clichéd excuse,

like, you have many friends

in the African-American
community.

- It didn't come out right.
And I apologize.

I have many, many
dear friends

in the African-American
community.

- No, you don't.

[laughter]

At best, you had one,

and he's pretty pissed off
with you right now.

There'll be more to say about
Charlotte in the coming weeks,

but for now, let's move on
to Wells Fargo.

The only bank
ever to be serenaded

by an 8-year-old
Ron Howard.

- ♪ Oh, the Wells Fargo
Wagon is a-comin' ♪

♪ Now I don't know how
I can ever wait to see ♪

f*ck you.

[laughter]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,

I know you're a very powerful
man in Hollywood now,

but to be fair, you were
an infuriating 8-year-old.

Just three weeks ago,

Wells Fargo was the most
valuable bank in the world,

but recently, its reputation
has taken a massive hit

after some alarming
revelations.

man: The feds say
employees at Wells Fargo

took money out of
customers' accounts

without their permission.

They opened new bank
and credit card accounts

without the customers knowing,

then charged those same
customers fees for the accounts

the customers didn't even know
they had.

The feds say 2 million accounts
are involved.

- That's right.
Wells Fargo employees

created fake e-mail addresses
to enroll customers

in hidden accounts,
creating PIN numbers

that customers
didn't even know existed.

And hidden fees are bad enough,

without being hidden inside
hidden accounts

with hidden pin numbers made
with hidden e-mail addresses.

[laughter]

It's like
a Russian nesting doll,

where the last doll is giving
you the middle finger.

[laughter]

And for customers who got
caught up in this,

like Frank Ahn,

even when they found out,
they couldn't stop it.

Ahn: One point in time
I had 10 accounts.

I've had more than 10 accounts
at Wells Fargo. I only need one.

woman: Ahn says
he complained to Wells Fargo,

but the bank kept opening
accounts in his name

and sending him credit cards
he didn't even want.

Ahn:
They kept making promises.

They said, "We won't charge
you any fees, this is it."

They always said
this is the end of it,

so I thought it was the end
of it, but it wasn't.

Look, Frank.

I do not want to let Wells Fargo
off the hook here,

but after 10 accounts, any bank
would have been better.

[laughter]

Chase Bank.

Citi Bank.

Even Elizabeth Banks
would've been a better place

to stash your money.

Now, Wells Fargo apparently
fired over 5,000 people

for engaging in this,
but you do have to wonder:

how did they all get
the same idea?

- They were incentivized
to earn financial rewards

under the incentive
compensation program.

And we're hearing that managers
even taught employees

how to do this.

Wow.
So the fraud was baked in,

which I believe is the title of
Martha Stewart's autobiography.

[laughter]

And all this is
a little surprising,

given that the bank's CEO,
John Stumpf,

has talked a big game about
decency and integrity.

The DNA of leadership
is trust.

That's true in
a family relationship.

That's true for government.

That's true for business.

We like to say
we don't care what you know

until we know what you care.

You can't teach caring.

And you can't teach sharing.

What?

[laughter]

He sounds like a burned-out,
drunken Barney.

[laughter]

"We can't teach caring,
and you can't teach sharing."

[inhales]

"The little shits won't listen.
Don't touch me!"

Now, Stumpf actually appeared

in front of the Senate
banking committee this week

with a bandage on his hand,
which I legally can't say

is the result of carpal tunnel

from typing in
so many fake e-mail addresses.

[laughter]

And he wanted to be clear.

He didn't know anything
about anything.

I'm not an expert
in compensation.

I don't know that issue
off the top of my head.

I'm not an expert
in this field.

I'll talk to our team,
and we'll get back to you.

I-- Just again,
I'm not an expert in that.

I don't even know exactly
what we're talking about.

Come on. If he was gonna
play that dumb,

he should have at least
turned up

wearing his shoes on
his hands

and a Stone Cold
Steve Austin T-shirt.

Then it would have made sense.

But look, this gets
one step worse.

Because the total fine
for Wells Fargo's behavior

was $185 million,
which is nothing,

considering they made
$23 billion in profit last year.

And it's even less than Stumpf
himself could walk away with

if he resigns.

woman: A CNN money investigation
shows that if he does resign,

he could get $200 million
in terms of payouts

when he walks
out of the door.

- The only way that could
possibly be okay

is if they put that money
in 20 million fake accounts

of $10 each and never,
ever tell him about them.

[laughter]

And now, this.

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- Moving on.

Our main story tonight concerns
the 2016 presidential election.

Or, as it's
more commonly known,

the electoral equivalent of
seeing someone puking,

so you start puking, and
then someone else is puking,

and pretty soon everyone
is puking 2016.

The first presidential debate
is tomorrow night.

More than 100 million people
could be watching two candidates

whose campaigns have been
defined less by

questions about their policies
than their ethics.

- Every day is another drip,
drip, drip of scandal

for Hillary Clinton.

- Another Clinton scandal.

man: Too many scandals have
followed her and Bill Clinton

over the years.

- What about
the Trump scandals?

Another Trump
campaign scandal.

woman: Another booming scandal
of the day with him,

but there are so many,
it's hard to keep track.

- Listen, we have had scandals
during campaigns in the past,

from Barack Obama's financial
dealings with Tony Rezko,

to George W. Bush's
Air National Guard service,

to the revelation that Dwight D.
Eisenhower's middle initial

stood for "Deez Nuts."

[laughter]

But this campaign, the scandals
have been so pronounced,

polls show that less
than half the electorate

sees either candidate
as honest or trustworthy.

And you may not like either
candidate for good reasons.

But if you are still somehow
torn about which one to vote for

and are factoring their scandals
into your decision,

we thought it might help
to spend tonight

walking you through them.

So let's start with
Hillary Clinton,

the woman who, if she loses,
will sit there, motionless,

not speaking,
until she eventually dies.

[laughter]

And I do know that
even talking about her scandals

will irritate some of you,

given that her opponent is an
unambiguously r*cist scarecrow

stuffed with scrunched-up copies
of Juggs magazine.

And that's fair.
That is a fair point.

But not being as bad
as Donald Trump

is a low bar to clear.

And if you focus on
nothing but him,

you fail to vet a woman
who might be president.

And if you believe
the internet,

she's guilty of everything.

Just click around and you can
find such masterworks as:

"Killary Klinton,"

"Hillary ordered the m*rder of
the children of Waco,"

"Hillary
the Butcher of Benghazi,"

And my personal favorite:

"Is Hillary Clinton Satan?

Hillary: 'I am the devil.'"

And that's in quotes
on the internet,

so she must've said it.

Although, to be fair,
she could've been referring to

her time as the
New Jersey Devils mascot.

Now many of Hillary's
most famous scandals

have been heavily litigated
in the past.

For instance, Whitewater.

Now, more than six years of
investigations

by three different prosecutors

and multiple
congressional committees

failed to find sufficient
evidence of wrongdoing.

Then there was Benghazi.

Eight congressional
investigations broadly concluded

the State Department could
have done more

to increase security
at the Embassy,

but none found evidence of
wrongdoing by Clinton.

And then there's
the problematic issue

of the Swiss File Transfer.

And while, yes, investigators
found Hillary was in Zurich

at the time of the transfer,
and documents show

she was aware
the transfer took place,

and yes, the Clintons did have
something to gain financially

from it, the fact is,
the Swiss File Transfer

is something
I just made up right now.

But the fact that, for a second,
you kind of remembered it

says something about the tone of
coverage surrounding Clinton.

But many rational people
are still worried about

two particular scandals.

It turns out nearly half of
all Americans

are very concerned about
both her e-mails

and the Clinton Foundation.

So let's start with the e-mails,
which you may remember

from their starring role at the
Republican National Convention.

- She put our nation's security
at extremely high risk

with her careless use
of a private e-mail server.

- Hillary Clinton cared more
about protecting her own secrets

than she cared about protecting
America's secrets.

- She jeopardized the American
people, our national security,

with her secret e-mail server.
She lied!

- Okay, Hillary's e-mails were
basically the unofficial theme

of the RNC, right alongside
"How loud can Giuliani scream?"

[laughter]

And "' Happy Days' residuals
can't buy you attention."

[laughter]

But while some of
Hillary's opponents

feel her e-mail scandal
should put her in prison,

at least at the beginning,

she claimed
there was nothing to see.

- Everything I did
was permitted.

There was no law.
There was no regulation.

There was nothing that did not
give me the full authority

to decide how I was going
to communicate.

And people across the government
knew that I used one device.

Maybe it was because I am not

the most
technically capable person

and wanted to make it
as easy as possible.

And now I think
it's kind of fun.

People get a real-time
behind-the-scenes look at,

you know, what
I was e-mailing about,

and what I was
communicating about.

- Now, that's a bad answer
for a number of reasons.

First she says "Everything
I did was permitted,"

which isn't remotely true.

The use of
a private e-mail server

would've required
prior approval,

and she never asked for it.

Then she blames not being
"technically capable,"

which is a fine excuse
for your dad

when he accidentally texts you
the letter Q 10 times,

[laughter]

but it's pretty shitty coming
from a Secretary of State.

And then she caps it off
by saying

the whole thing is
"kind of fun,"

Which it definitely isn't.

Unless every single one
of her e-mails

was just a JPEG of a dog
dressed as Dracula,

in which case, yeah, you know
what, this is kind of fun.

[laughter]

So there have been exaggerations
on both sides.

While she since acknowledged
that her use of the server

was a mistake,

the idea persists that
it was a good deal more.

So let's walk through
what we actually know.

Hillary claims this started
due to a simple tech issue

because when she took office
in 2009,

Department-issued Blackberries
couldn't access

two different e-mail accounts.

woman: Clinton said today
it was more convenient

for her to carry one device
instead of separate devices

for work
and personal e-mails.

- Looking back,
it would've been better for me

to use two separate phones
and two e-mail accounts.

I thought using one device
would be simpler,

and obviously,
it hasn't worked out that way.

Yeah, no shit.

[laughter]

So this whole situation could
potentially have been avoided

if she'd just had the ability
to carry two Blackberries.

Meaning, it's the only time

the best advice a politician
could have received

was "cargo shorts."

[laughter]

So if she wanted one phone,
she had a few options.

First, use a state.gov e-mail
address for all her e-mails,

meaning her personal e-mails
would reside

on government servers,
potentially making them

more accessible to requests
for public records.

So instead,
Hillary sent everything

through a non-government
address.

It's a practice that's legal,
but highly discouraged.

Although she's by no means
the only one who's done it.

Others include Colin Powell,
John Kerry,

Chris Christie, Jeb Bush,

Rick Perry, Scott Walker,
Martin O'Malley, Greg Abbott,

Bobby Jindal, Sarah Palin,
Ashton Carter, and Karl Rove.

And EPA administrator
Lisa Jackson

had a different workaround,

using a second government e-mail

under the alias
"Richard Windsor,"

Which turned out to be
a mashup of her dog's name

and her family's hometown.

So she was doing government
business under her porn name.

Which cannot catch on.

No one wants to be writing to

Housing and Urban Development
Secretary Julian Castro

at Bud.ThunderJunk@hud.bone!

That can't happen.

But Hillary
went much further

than just having
a private e-mail.

She had her own private server.

And it wasn't just
any old server.

- To put an e-mail server
at your house is not a--

it's a complicated thing.

- Yeah,
but it was already there.

It had been there for years.

It is the system that my
husband's personal office used

when he got out of
the White House,

and so it was sitting there
in the basement.

Wait, wait.

You used a server that
Bill Clinton had been using,

which was in your basement.

I hate to tell you this,

but you just stored
government records

on a machine that Bill called
"The Porn Master 5000."

[laughter]

[imitating Bill Clinton]
I love that machine.
Old faithful.

[laughter]

[in normal voice]
Now, the private server
wasn't the only way

Hillary communicated.

There was a separate official
government system

for classified information.

Unfortunately, some e-mails
sent to Hillary

did contain pieces of
information

that were classified in nature.

The FBI found 113 such e-mails,
though, in fairness,

only three of them
had classification markers

and were not in the header
of the e-mail,

as they should have been.

And while the FBI found
Clinton and her staff

to be extremely careless,

they said
they couldn't find a case

that would support
bringing criminal charges.

So it's not good,
but it's not as bad as it looks.

Which is never a satisfying
thing to hear,

or, indeed,
read above the buffet

at a Golden Corral.

[laughter]

So that is basically
the e-mails.

Let's now move on to
the Clinton Foundation.

Six months ago, it was known as
the top-rated global foundation

that has, among other things,

helped millions
around the world

access lower-cost
HIV treatment.

But it has now become possibly
the only charity

that inspires more visceral
anger than this one.

-♪ 1-877-Kars-4-Kids

♪ K-A-R-S Kars for Kids

♪ 1-877-Kars for Kids

♪ Donate your car today

Shut up! Shut up!

What is this charity?

You're kids!
You can't f*cking drive!

[laughter]

What money-laundering scheme
are you operating?

[applause]

Look, the point is--
The point is

the controversy with
the Clinton Foundation

is not so much what they did
with their money.

It's the possible
conflict of interest

in taking donations
from individuals

and foreign governments
with business

before the State Department.
And to be fair, in 2008,

the foundation
tried to head this off,

by promising
the Obama administration

they'd not only disclose
all donations,

but also get advance approval
for any

coming from certain
foreign governments.

Which they did.

But a few slipped through.

There's one involving Algeria
donating half a million dollars,

although there's no proof
that State Department policy

was swayed as a result.

More concerning is one involving
Russia, which does sound bad.

- Reports out overnight say
the State Department,

with Clinton at the helm,
approved the sale

of one of America's largest
uranium mines to Russia.

At the same time,

a foundation controlled by
the mine's chairman

was making donations to
the Clinton Foundation.

We are talking about
some big money here.

Four separate donations
totaling $2.35 million,

and these reports say

that the donations
were not publicly disclosed.

- Holy shit.

There are so many not-good words
in that one sound bite.

Russia, uranium, controlled,
big money, and not disclosed.

It could only be worse
if it also contained the words

orifice, shart, butt-chug,
and Cosby.

[laughter]

Now, brace yourself,
because this gets pretty dense.

Basically, the Canadian chairman
of the mining company

that was eventually sold
to Russia

had also given money
to the Clinton Foundation.

But instead of doing it
directly,

he gave it through
this Canadian affiliate,

which didn't disclose his name
because it didn't have to,

because the affiliate
wasn't actually included

in that agreement
the Clinton Foundation signed

with the Obama administration.

So neither the law
nor the agreement

were technically violated,

though the spirit of
the agreement definitely was.

So again, this looks bad,

especially given that the State
Department did sign off

on the sale of that uranium mine
to Russia.

But not only was Hillary
not involved in that decision,

but eight other
federal agencies

plus the
Nuclear Regulatory Commission

also had to sign off,
which they did.

So this donation was legal,
but very annoyingly handled.

And any suggestion of
pay for play fails to account

for the separate actions of nine
unrelated government agencies.

Basically, it's complicated.

And like the movie
"It's Complicated,"

it probably would've been best
for everyone

if it had never happened,

[laughter]

but no one broke the law.

And look, we've spent
several frustrating weeks

trawling through all
the innuendo and exaggerations

surrounding her e-mail
and foundation scandals,

and the worst thing you can say
is, they both look bad,

but the harder you look,
the less you actually find.

There's not nothing there.

But what is there is irritating
rather than grossly nefarious.

And this is where it's
instructive to compare her

to her opponent, Donald Trump.

America's wealthiest
hemorrhoid.

[laughter]

Because
if you're struggling with

the idea of voting for Hillary
because of all this,

you need to take a long,
hard look at Trump.

If you're irritated by her
lying, that is understandable,

but he's quantifiably worse.

PolitiFact checked around
the same number of statements

from both of them
over the years,

and found around 13% of
Hillary's statements

to be flatly false,

but for Trump, that figure
was a whopping 53%.

[laughter]

Presumably, it's only that low
because the rest of the time

he was saying things
like this.

- If Ivanka weren't my daughter,
perhaps I'd be dating her.

woman: Stop it!
That's so weird!

- Yeah, that's probably true.

[laughter]

And the fact it's probably true
is what makes it so horrifying.

And if you're thinking,
"Okay, Hillary may not lie

as much as Trump, but she needs
to be more transparent,"

that's fair enough.
But bear in mind

we know almost nothing about
Trump's finances.

And that is not good.

He's the first major-party
nominee since 1980

not to release his tax returns,

and his justification
is pathetic.

- I will absolutely give
my return,

but I'm being audited now for
two or three years,

so I can't do it
until the audit is finished.

- But yes, you can.

The IRS has explicitly said

you don't need to wait for a
completed audit to release them.

You're just saying
two completely unrelated things.

"I'd love to pick you up from
the airport, but I can't,

because a blue whale's tongue
weighs as much as an elephant."

[laughter]

What the f*ck are you
talking about?

Those two things have nothing
to do with each other!

[applause]

And on top of
Trump's personal tax records,

there are unanswered questions
about his business dealings.

As many experts
have pointed out,

his investments, debts and
business ties span the globe,

and could present unprecedented
ethical challenges

for a president.

Now, traditionally,
presidential candidates

in that kind of situation
promise to put

their financial holdings
into a blind trust,

where an independent trustee
is given control

over their investments.

But when Trump was asked
if he would do that as well,

he seemed not to know
what it meant.

- Are you planning on putting
your assets in a blind trust

should you become president?

- I have Ivanka and Eric
and Don sitting there.

Run the company, kids.
Have a good time.

I'm gonna do it for America,
okay?

So I would be willing
to do that.

- So you'll put your assets
in a blind trust?

- I would put it
in a blind trust.

Well, I don't know
if it's a blind trust

if Ivanka, Don, and Eric
run it,

but is that a blind trust?
I don't know.

- No! That is not
a blind trust.

[laughter]

It's the opposite of one.

Almost anything else
you could have said

would've been closer to
a blind trust.

"I'm gonna put my assets in
an upside-down doghouse

filled with pudding.
Is that a blind trust?"

No, that's ridiculous,

but you're actually closer
than you were before.

[laughter]

And even more alarmingly,

when George Stephanopoulos
talked to Donald Trump, Jr.,

he didn't seem to understand
what a blind trust was either.

- It's not a blind trust
if you and your siblings

are running the company.

- we're not gonna be
involved in government.

Stephanopoulos:
Then it's not a blind trust.

You're running the company
and he's president.

So any foreign--

He's not making any decisions
as it relates to the company.

- but a blind trust
is not a blind trust

if it's being run by
his children.

- It is because he'll have
nothing to do with it.

- He's still going to know
what the businesses are.

And where they are--

- He won't. We'll not--

- How will he not know?

- We won't discuss
those things.

It doesn't matter.
Trust me.

- Wait, trust you?

[laughter]

The only reasonable thing
to trust you on

is which hair products can
best make someone look like

a 1980s serial k*ller.

[laughter]

That's it. And look...

[applause]

If the financial actions of the
Clinton Foundation annoy you,

let me introduce you to
the Trump Foundation.

And I'm not talking about

the estimated 12 pounds of
foundation

that Trump wears on his face,

[laughter]

I'm talking about his
charitable organization.

The "Washington Post"
has been investigating,

and has found,
among other things,

that Trump has not personally
given it any money since 2008.

And just this week,
this story broke.

- Donald Trump is facing
questions tonight

about his charitable foundation
after a report today

in the "Washington Post."
The foundation spent

more than a quarter of a million
dollars of donated money

to settle lawsuits
against Trump businesses.

- Yes, Trump reportedly used
his foundation's money,

which had been donated by people
for charitable purposes,

As a tool to make
some legal disputes go away.

On the spectrum of
shittiest things you can do,

that's right up there with
catfishing a baby owl.

He waited all night for you!

And he's nocturnal,
so that's his day gone!

[laughter]

And Trump also allegedly used
foundation money

to purchase ridiculous items
for himself.

- In another instance, Trump's
foundation paid $10,000

at a charity auction in 2014 for
a portrait painted of Trump.

It was the second time

Trump used foundation funds
for a portrait of him.

- Okay, okay. Okay, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.

For a start, what is he doing
with his face in that photo?

That's not a smile,

that's waking up in the middle
of a colonoscopy.

[laughter]

And also, on top of that, how
did that portrait cost $10,000?

It looks like someone xeroxed
a black-and-white picture

of Trump,
and then painted over it

with condiments
from Burger King.

[laughter]

Now, what Trump did there
would technically be legal,

as long as the portrait itself

was put to some
charitable purpose.

Well, Univision found it.
And it wasn't in an orphanage.

man: This is the painting that
Donald Trump purchased

with funds donated to
the charitable foundation

that carries his last name.

This morning,
Univision got the scoop

that the art work remained
hanging inside

the restaurant
Champions Bar & Grille,

inside the Doral Hotel
and Golf Course,

a property owned by
Donald Trump.

- Now, in Trump's defense,

that portrait is
the perfect pairing

for his restaurant's
signature dishes,

which are apparently,
according to Yelp reviewers,

"watery tomato chunks with
no flavor."

And "craft beer brands
misspelled on the menu."

[laughter]

And it is not just portraits.

Trump also once used
foundation funds

to buy a signed Tim Tebow
helmet, a steal at $12,000,

for something that once
contained

the head of America's
worst quarterback.

[laughter]

He also used funds to make an
illegal political donation

to support Florida A.G.
Pam Bondi

around the time that she
was considering investigating

his not-a-university
university.

So it seems
the Trump Foundation may exist

primarily to benefit
Trump himself.

In which case, they should
really change the name

to something more appropriate,

like the National Association
for the Advancement

of Donald Trump,
or the NAADT for short.

And the thing is,

we've barely scratched
the surface of his scandals.

There's everything,

from the ongoing lawsuits
against that bullshit university

to the alleged use
of undocumented workers

when building Trump Tower

to the fact he received
an illegal $3.5 million loan

from his father in the form of
a purchase of chips

from one of Trump's casinos.

That loan
could not have been shadier

if it was given
in baggies of cocaine

or the bones of
endangered species.

[laughter]

Look. The point is,

this campaign has
been dominated by scandals.

But it is dangerous to think

there is an equal number
on both sides.

And you can be irritated
by some of Hillary's.

That is understandable.

But you should then be
f*cking outraged by Trump's.

Think of it like this.

[applause]

Try to think of it like this.

Ethical failings in a politician
are like raisins in a cookie.

They shouldn't be there.

They disgust people.

But most politicians have
at least a few raisins.

And Hillary is a cookie
like this one.

She arguably has more raisins
than average.

There's probably 10 of those
little f*ckers in there.

[laughter]

But we all need to remember that
when it comes to Donald Trump,

this is the amount of raisins
that he represents.

[applause]

The man is a f*cking
raisin monsoon.

He is ethically compromised to
an almost unprecedented degree.

So if you don't like raisins?

I get it.
They're disgusting.

But unfortunately,
this November,

you're gonna have to
swallow 10,

or we're all gonna be
eating this shit for years.

[laughter, applause]

That is our show.

Thanks for watching.

We'll be back next week.

Good night.

♪

[bright tone]