02x07 - The Grapes of Voss

[bunniefuu]

♪ Who took the bomp? ♪

["Deceptacon" by Le Tigre playing]

Oi, do you reckon
these would look good with my formal fit?

Really? You're asking me that now?

Nice.

[song continues softly over speakers]

Oh!

- Actually maybe something more like...
- [gasps]

[whispering] That's my f*cking mum.

What?

[Harper] sh*t.

♪ Wanna disco? ♪

♪ Wanna see me disco? ♪

♪ Let me hear you
Depoliticize my rhyme... ♪

[Amerie] Quick!
Before she sees us. This way!

- Sorry, sorry.
- [Harper] Move it, dude. Emergency.

[man] What the hell?

[Amerie] Sorry.

- Hurry up. Run.
- sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

♪ Is all right, all right
All right, all right, all right ♪

♪ See you later ♪

Got you something, son.

[song stops]

Do you want me to have no friends?

- The lady at the store said it was "in."
- [sighs]

You'll thank me
when you don't get frostbite.

[knocking on door]

Going in.

[Amerie] Hey. We've got to talk.

I didn't want to put this in a text.

I'm kind of
in the middle of something, so...

I'll be quick.

I don't really want to hear it, Amerie.

You okay?

Yep. I just...

Yeah, I'm over the drama.

Okay, um, I know you think
that's my brand,

but you create your own fair share.

Okay, so I'm actually busy. So what?

Why are you being such a d*ck?

I'm being a d*ck? For what?

For not wanting
to get involved in your sh*t?

Look, do whatever you wanna do,

but just keep me out of it.

What the f...

Well, that was... unexpected.

Thanks.

Anytime.

- See you around.
- [Dusty] See you around.

["In The Zone" by Juice Webster
playing over speakers]

I mean, I already made my decision.

I was just telling him to be decent.

- Daddy's a deadbeat. Sorry, baby.
- [chuckles]

That's not funny and don't call it baby.
We need a code name.

Like... "Lil' Feats."

As in "little fetus"?

It's a good name.

Whatever, I just want it out of me ASAP
so I can get on with sh*t.

- [sighs]
- So let's drop.

Hmm?

Okay.

Okay, so the pills need to be taken


We both know maths really isn't my forte,

but if I take the first one now,

then I should be sweet
for the debate tomorrow

and crowning
of school captain the next day.

- That works, right?
- Yeah.

Um... Well, uh...

Here goes nothing.

[Harper] Hmm.

♪ The lights are driving me mad ♪

♪ I'm so wired ♪

♪ My patience, expired ♪

♪ When did the light
Start driving me mad? ♪

How do you feel?

[gasps dramatically]

[groaning loudly]

You're a dickhead.

[laughs]

- [cell phone chimes]
- Oh.

That'll be Rowan.

Ooh, hot date tonight?

I'm gonna rain check.

Doesn't feel right hooking up
with another guy's seed in me.

- How considerate of you.
- [sighs]

["Candy" by Eternal Dust
playing softly over speakers]

♪ I'm a boy
Who will destroy... ♪

You going out?

Yeah, with Amerie.

Is that a good idea?

Yeah, I know what I'm doing.

[cell phone chimes]

[tense music playing]

[screams]

Ah, sh*t! Are you okay?
Did I get any glass on you? Are you...

I'll go get a dustpan.

[music fades]

He's read it.

No reply.

Give him a chance.

[Amerie sighs] Could he be pissed?

I hope he doesn't think
that I've gone off him or anything.

["Let Her Be" by Maina Doe
playing softly over speakers]

Whoa. Whoa. What are we...

Just a little peek to state my intentions.

You just told him you were sick.

Oh. Yeah, but one can be sick
and sexy at the same time.

It's called sic-xy.

Oh. I'm taking the photo?

- Yeah, you'll get a better angle.
- Okay.

- Oh, yeah, I like the crouch.
- [camera clicking]

Okay, try going down further.

Pretend that you're a cat.

- What?
- Like, sexy cat. You know?

Like... [growls]

[cell phone chimes]

[pensive music playing]

[music fades]

So Eurydice dies on their wedding day,

so Orpheus has to descend
into the underworld to go find her.

[exhales]

Sick.

Does he find her?

Yeah, but the god of the underworld
tells him that, on their way out,

he's not allowed to look back at her
until they reach the land of the living.

But Orpheus looks back

and he loses her forever.

Damn.

That is, like, fully tragic.

[laughs] It's fully tragic.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

["Bad Behaviour" by YARA
playing softly over speakers]

♪ Of your head
So far away ♪

Speaking of tragic...

What happened
to the girl humping the shotgun?

Actually it was an AK-47.

Okay. [chuckles]

I liked her. She was boss.

Yeah, she's in the bin.

- Why?
- [clicks tongue]

I don't know, got sick of looking at her.

At all of it.

You can't just take down a few posters
and be a different person.

Well, I also donated money to charity.

Which one?

Breast cancer.

No. No, bowel cancer...

I don't... The box in the admin office.
You know?

The one where you get a chocolate
for a gold coin donation?

- [Spider] Mm.
- [scoffs]

And I saved you the chocolate.

You realize
this is classic white guy sh*t.

Doing the bare minimum
and expecting a cookie from it.

Give it.

[Spider chuckles]

♪ So far away ♪

♪ While my hands are burning ♪

♪ All you feel is warm ♪

[song fades]

Thought you were Darren.

Still not back yet?

It's been two days.

Hey, can you just,
like, yell at me or something?

That would make you feel better, not me.

Chook had been hassling me for weeks.

I had to get him off my back.

Until the next time?

No, there... There is no next time.

One last job. That was the deal.

Uh, Harper,
you're never gonna see him again.

None of us will.

- You swear it?
- f*cking oath.

I swear on my nan.

[exhales]

Okay.

Where have you been?

Mum's...

I should've been straight with you,
I'm sorry I wasn't,

but I didn't wanna drag you into it...

It's okay.

I got your text. You...

You don't have to go over it.

- Darren, I...
- [Darren] It's okay.

Let's just forget about it. [sighs]

I need to have a shower.
[chuckles nervously]

[pensive music playing]

[Darren sighs]

[indistinct chatter]

[Darren] Whatever you need today, babe.

Chippies, Reiki, aquarium therapy.

Do you even wanna be here?

'Cause I could call in a b*mb thr*at.

Thanks, but no need for special treatment.

Stoic-style coping.

- Respect.
- The way I see it, this is pretty much

like the time
I got that weird mole cut out.

There's something growing inside me
that's going to ruin my life,

I'll sort it out.

[funky music playing]

Thanks.

sh*t, they nabbed the best posi.

Should've got here earlier.

Well, well, well,
if it isn't the party queen herself.

So, did you have fun?

I did, actually.

When I'm not worried or ruining
other people's nights, I have a good time.

[mic feedback whines over loudspeaker]

[Zoe] It is election day, Hartley High.

- [both chuckle]
- In a surprising turn of events,

Spencer White of the CUMLORDS party
has taken a hit in the polls

and is now neck and neck
with Amerie Wadia of the SLT party.

With today's debate looming,

the main question on everyone's minds is,
"Who will claim victory?"

I'm Zoe Clark.

♪ You stay deadly, Hartley High! ♪

[switch clicks]

Twinkling top notes.

[gasps] Okay, okay. We need
to f*ck off first period and go prep.

I don't feel like doing that.

I'm gonna go find geckos.

Uh...

Did I just get ditched
for a bunch of tiny lizards?

- Hey, have you told her about...
- Lil' Feats?

Haven't had the chance.

I mean, she's just got a lot on,
as you can see.

Incoming.

You feeling better?

Better than last night.

You wanna do something tonight then?

- Luna Park? Ride the Mousetrap?
- [chuckles]

Sore tummies and rollercoasters,
not the best mix.

Yeah. Right. Of course.

Um, definitely on the weekend though?

[foreboding music playing]

[suspenseful music playing]

[indistinct creaking]

[wood creaking]

[Jojo] Oh, my...

Spencer, are you lost?

[Spider] No.

I need some advice.

From me?

- I respect you, Miss.
- Oh.

Yeah, I really felt that when you
stormed out of here on the first day.

I don't want to be that guy anymore.

[whimsical music playing]

I wanna change.

All right, well, it's easy to say,

but it actually requires
some meaningful action.

Something big.

Transformative, even.

A tangible rejection
of what people think you stand for.

Like...

Like when rock stars go to rehab,

find God and make gospel music.

Is that a thing?

[laughs] Oh, yeah, big time.

Bob Dylan, Prince, Justin Bieber.

Full journey to Jesus.

To be clear,
I'm not telling you to go to church.

Yeah, thanks.
Yes, I understand that it's an analogy.

Yes, it is.

Is this helping?

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

[music fades]

[Ca$h] The passcode's 2207,
it's Darude's birthday.

- What is this?
- Check all my messages, my call history.

I'm not going through your phone.

- It'll prove I'm not hiding anything else.
- I wasn't at Mum's.

I was at St. Brunos.

The dorms.

[hesitates] With that
private school guy you used to...

Jacob? No.

Well, uh, I did go there to see him,

but I bumped into Dusty instead.

You've been staying with Dusty?

Random, I know.

- Oh. Please tell me you didn't hook up.
- No.

All we did was smoke some weed
and talk sh*t and play video games.

What, for two f*cking days?

Nothing happened, I promise.

I'm not his type.

What would have happened
if you'd found Jacob instead?

[somber music playing]

I didn't.

So...

I'm sorry,
I guess we both did a shitty thing

and now we can move on.

We're even.

[teacher] How does matter transform
from one state to another?

There are three main types of matter,

solids, liquids, and...

- [farts]
- [students laughing]

[teacher] Thanks, Jeremy.

Gases is correct.

I would also have accepted solar plasma.

For transformation to occur,
it must be motivated to do so.

- In this case, by heat.
- Oi.

No, Spider,
I've never tried vaping with my vag*na.

- [teacher continues indistinctly]
- What?

No, that's...

I just came over to tell you
I'm dropping out of the race.

Bullshit.

I'm serious.

What is this? What do you want?

I've just realized that
your policies are by far the best ones

and if I drop out,
it gives you a better chance of winning.

I can get the CUMLORDS
to throw their votes.

In exchange for...

Nothing.

I just think it's the right thing to do.

[chuckling] If you wanna drop out,
I'm not gonna argue.

You know, you've been so weird lately.

Have you had an embolism

or are you finally getting laid
by a real live girl?

[stool scraping]

[curious music playing]

It's Spider, isn't it?

f*ck.

- [toilet flushes]
- What?

That guy you've been hooking up with?

What the f*ck?

I can honestly taste spew right now.

- How long has this been going on?
- A month, maybe two.

It just started off as sex,

- then I got to know him.
- [gagging]

What? And feels, you've caught feels?

- He's not that bad.
- He's the most probbo guy in school.

Most of the sh*t that he says
even he doesn't believe.

Ah, yes, the devil's advocate.

He's really trying to change, Sash.

Okay, well, at best,
he's just woke-fishing you.

At worst,
he's fetishized being with a Black girl

and you're bringing
his p*rn watch list to life.

Asian girls are probably next.

- Thank God, I...
- No, he's not like that.

Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

Oh, my God!
Why do you think I didn't say anything?

You were never gonna understand.

Because no one will.

They will fully judge you for it

and the fact that you've kept this secret
means, on some level, you know it too.

[door opens, closes]

[water running]

f*ck.

[indistinct chatter]

Yeah. I think that might be it.

- Hey, Miss.
- Oh.

This is it. You nervous?

Strangely, no.

I've literally been practicing
my policies in my sleep.

Mum came in with a spatula last night.

It was, like, a whole thing.

[chuckles] Okay.

Go park yourself at the door
and greet your voters.

[sighs]

- [gasps]
- [tense music playing]

[groaning softly]

- [tense music continues]
- [groaning softly]

[whimpers]

[Amerie whimpering]

- [Malakai clears throat]
- [music fades]

[hesitates] Hey. Are you all right?

[breathing heavily]
I'm having an abortion.

- [hesitates] Um... When? What...
- [coughs] Right f*cking now, Malakai!

- Want me to call your mum? I can...
- I wanna reduce this pain, not add to it.

[hesitates] I'll get the nurse.

No, no, no, no. Get Harper.

- Yup.
- [breathing heavily]

[groaning]

[whimpers]

[indistinct chatter]

[Sasha] Wonderful. Thank you so much.

Lovely to meet you.

[Missy] Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Spider] Uh...

- You speak to Sasha?
- Yeah.

So you know I'm dropping out of the race?

- What?
- [Spider] I don't wanna be school captain.

I'm gonna tell everyone now.

Uh... You're doing this for me?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing this you.

Also, I don't want all this
dumb CUMLORD sh*t

- forced on everyone if I do win.
- [Missy scoffs]

That's not how it works, Spider.

You gotta do this sh*t
'cause you believe it,

not 'cause you're f*cking someone.

What? No, I...

I think we should both stop pretending.

[Spider] What do you mean?

Me and you.

We can never be together properly.

[somber music playing]

Why not? We haven't even tried.

I don't want to.

Can we... Could we just do this later?

It's done.

[Sasha] Yeah, no worries.

- Go and sit down.
- [Spider] Missy.

[Sasha] Hey, Missy.

[music fades]

[Amerie groaning]

[woman on cell phone] Can you tell me
when she took the first one?

[Harper] Yeah.

Yeah, she took the first pill
around eight o'clock last night.

Yeah, okay. I'm...
I'm just gonna put you on speakerphone.

[woman] Okay, great.

[Amerie whimpering]

- Here.
- [woman] Hi, Amerie.

From what your friend has described,
you don't need to worry.

- Have you started bleeding yet?
- No, just cramping like hell.

[woman] That's normal.

Your body might be trying
to jumpstart the process.

Awesome. Okay,
do I even bother taking the second pill?

[woman] Yes, take it now.

It might still take a while
to expel all the tissue.

- [whimpers]
- If you develop a fever, call back.

- Thanks.
- [Amerie] Thanks!

[woman] Thank you.

Where's the other pill?

[groans] It's in my wallet.

Uh, oh, I'll get it. Right.

[groans loudly]

Oh, my stupid body.
Why is it doing this to me?

I know, baby. It sucks, I'm sorry.

- [somber music playing]
- [groans]

I should have waited
till after the debate.

All that work,
I can't believe I'm gonna miss it.

[Harper] It's okay, baby,
just keep breathing.

It's gonna be okay.

[breathing deeply]

Welcome, everybody,
to the school captain debate.

[whispers] Where's Amerie?

- [Woodsy] The format will be...
- Guess she couldn't take the heat.

- [Woodsy]...a answer and question segment.
- Time to take out the trash, am I right?

You're right, sir.

- Take out the trash.
- [Woodsy] I'd like to announce few rules.

What happened to dropping out?

[Woodsy] For example,
no cheering, no booing,

no interruptions

and no exposing of private parts.

Yes, I am specifically looking at you,
Anthony Vaughn.

[students laugh]

So, without further ado,

here's our candidates!

Sasha So,

- of the QSMCCALP party.
- [applause]

[upbeat music playing]

Amerie had to go.

Go where?

I'll explain later,
but I think you're gonna have to go on.

I don't feel like it.

Up next, Spencer White,
of the C... Of the C-LORDS party.

- [applause]
- Yeah! CUMLORDS!

[boys cheering]

What did I just say, Anthony?

And finally,
Amerie Wadia of the SLT party.

[applause]

Where's Amerie?

[music fades]

Is Amerie here?

- [student 1] Where is she?
- [all murmuring]

[Woodsy] No.

Jojo?

You're Amerie's vice, Quinni.
Get up there.

Unless you wanna dig holes
and push tires around.

- [Woodsy] Hold the chat, people.
- [Jojo] Go.

[Woodsy] I'm sure there's a reasonable
explanation, isn't that right, Jojo?

So, uh, Amerie doesn't
appear to be here, uh, today.

- [student 2] Typical.
- So, uh, instead we have, uh, Quinni

- for the SLT party.
- [applause]

- Uh, how about, uh, peppermint?
- [Amerie] Too spicy.

Uh... Oolong?

[Amerie] Tastes like armpits.

[hesitates] Sorry, um, I can't really
hear what you said. Um...

I said it ta... Just come in.

- But aren't you naked?
- [scoffs]

Nothing you ain't seen.

Yeah. [clears throat] Um...

["Antipodes" by Deuce playing softly]

[cell phone ringing]

- Leave it. Leave it.
- Oh, um...

[Malakai sniffs]

[continues ringing]

Uh, it... It's Rowan.

Oh.

You don't have to do that.

I, um...

I saw you two hook up, so...

Answer it if you want, honestly.

My hands are wet.

Yep.

[sighs]

[sniffs] Uh...

So you gonna...

- Are you gonna tell him about this, or...?
- [chuckles]

"Hey, Rowan,
I'm pregnant to our joint ex-boyfriend."

What? Um...

[hesitates] Sorry, what... It's not his?

What? No. It's yours, dumbarse.

Right. Um, yeah. I just... [sputters]

I didn't know how long
you two had been, um...

Sorry. How... How is it mine?

You really should've
paid attention in biology.

No, I know. I just... I...

When?

First day back at school.

The stairwell?

Wow, sex with me
is really that forgettable.

No, God, no. It... It was great.

You were amazing. I just, um...

What can I say,
the smell of rising damp gets me hot.

Why didn't you tell me?

I tried to last night.

Sorry, I... I thought you were coming over
to tell me about Rowan and everything.

[sighs]

Uh, I'm sorry
you found out the way you did.

Honestly, it was just something
that happened at the party.

- I don't know what it means.
- No, please... Uh...

Don't. That all just feels
really unimportant right now.

- [Amerie whimpering]
- Hey.

[Amerie] Ow.

[breathing heavily]

[whimpering]

It's okay. Hey, hey...

What if I die or something?

Like in the olden days. [groans]

You won't. You won't.

Hey, give me your hand. Give me your hand.

Okay?

- I'm here. I'm not going anywhere.
- [Amerie sobbing]

[Sasha] We all know trust is key
in a relationship.

Even that between
a school captain and her peers,

but I won't consider myself
your captain, no.

No, the very word denotes colonialism.

[Woodsy] Hmm.

[Sasha] Whiteness.

Oppression.

No, I will be your comrade

and you can trust me.

Words.

Uh, words are very powerful, Sasha.
Thank you.

- [applause]
- Thank you.

[Woodsy] Okay, so moving along.

Quinni, what are the core values
of the SLT party?

Pass.

- [students chuckling]
- Um...

[Woodsy] Okay.

Uh, Spencer, what makes you

the best leader for this school?

There's a reason...

that most of the world is run by men.

Too true.

[Spider] Men are more analytical,
able to make difficult decisions

without letting their emotions
get in the way.

- Tone it down, thank you, Spencer.
- That's such gendered bullshit.

See? See?

Sasha can't even control her emotions.

[scoffs]

I didn't interrupt you today.

I let you speak, comrade.

[students laugh]

And I would let Amerie speak,
but her absence speaks for her.

See, this kind of flaky behavior
is typical of women.

- Okay. You're standing on shaky ground.
- Say one thing, do another.

Their word means nothing!

They will lie to you with their mouths,

with their bodies.

- Use you to get what they want.
- Inappropriate. Thank you, Spencer.

- Enough.
- Ask you to change and when you do,

it's not good enough.

- I'm gonna give you three seconds to stop.
- [Spider] 'Cause the reality is,

they don't want you to change. No.

They just want someone
that they can blame for all the problems

- in their life!
- [Woodsy] One, two, three.

Do you really want this wank stain
to be your school captain?

Okay, I'm serious now.

Both of you need to please...

Shut up!

Ooh.

Neither of you should be school captain.

This is the easy part.
Making promises, pretending that you care?

But what're you gonna do
when it gets hard?

You gonna actually put in the effort?

Will you make us all play by your rules?

You're both
only doing this for yourselves.

That is not true.
I am a woman of the people.

- Who's that?
- Who?

[Quinni] The girl in the red jumper.

It's Lucy.

[Quinni] It's Marjorie Evans.

She's on the state hockey team,
rides her bike to school every day.

She got a Smiths sticker on her bike.

Spider, who's that?

Uh, we just call him "Tripod"
'cause he's hung like a tripod.

[Quinni] It's Benjamin Chen.

He runs the chess club,
he spends every lunchtime in the library.

You two want to be leaders of the people,
but you don't know who you're leading.

[students cheering and applauding]

[Woodsy] Okay, okay, thank you.

There are kids in this school
who aren't into activism

and don't want to roast pigs on the oval.

Kids who aren't SLTs or CUMLORDS.

You ignore them.

You don't offer them anything.
Why should they vote for you?

- [uplifting music playing]
- [applause and loud cheering]

Um...

Slay. [chuckles]

So vote for Amerie!

[Quinni] Amerie's not even here.

You know what is here?

The rubbish bin is here.

- Vote for that.
- [all laughing]

[Quinni] Vote for the mouse poo
in the sport shed.

Vote for the lunch lady's mustache.

Vote for cupcakes!

- [applause]
- [Woodsy] Okay, Quinni.

Okay. Thank you.

Quinni, I think we've, uh, come to,
uh, the natural end of this debate,

and wow.

Thank you, Quinni.

And so, uh, all of you, uh, have
until the end of the day to vote,

so vote.

[clock ticking]

[upbeat music playing]

[Darren sighs]

[music fades]

I don't really know what I'm looking for.

Well, it's a bunch of cells
the size of a pinhead,

you won't see anything.

Turns out it's nothing
like getting a mole removed.

[sobbing]

- Hey.
- [Harper] Oh, hey. Hey, hey, hey.

- Sorry.
- [Malakai] You're all right. Come here.

Sit down.

We got you.

- Sorry.
- No, it's... It's over.

That was an event.

Hey, glad we had tickets.

VIP section.

[sniffles]

- I'm okay.
- [Malakai] Mm-Hmm.

[sniffles]

[toilet flushes]

Lil' Feats' album just dropped.

[chuckles]

- [Malakai chuckles]
- [laughing] Oh, my God.

♪ Call you up on a Tuesday ♪

♪ Say, "What's up?"
Babe, it's too late ♪

♪ Why d'you have to be so complicated? ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm not sure
If I've seen you before ♪

♪ You looked familiar when I saw you ♪

♪ We go together
Like the gum on my shoes... ♪

Wait, what's she doing with that bloke?

- Josh?
- [Malakai] Hmm.

He's so hot. Oh, my God.

But I thought she liked the other one.
Like, the guy with the eyes.

Yeah, she likes them both.

It's a classic love triangle.

- [chuckling]
- [man] Yeah.

g*dd*mn, we were talking
to the same woman.

[both laughing]

- Are you still hungry?
- No, I'm good.

You like it?

- Coco Pops and OJ.
- Mm-hmm.

Who knew they'd be such delicious friends?

I just accidentally used juice
instead of milk one morning, so...

I award full marks to your snack-cident.

- [Malakai chuckles]
- [laughter over laptop]

- Mmm. Ooh.
- [show continues indistinctly on laptop]

[chuckles softly]

[gentle music playing]

[Harper] Wait, don't you recognize one
dangly earring is giving Spider energy?

[Amerie laughing] True.

So true.

[Harper laughs]

[chuckles softly]

[Dusty] Nothing happened, man.

I don't know why you think I'd go there.

'Cause you have a track record
of f*cking people when they're vulnerable.

Okay.

[Dusty exhales]

- Just helping out a mate.
- You and Darren aren't mates.

- Best friends in Primary School.
- That was ages ago.

So, don't you think if something
was going to happen between us

it would have already?

That wasn't our first sleepover.

- All we did was hang out and talk.
- About what?

You.

- Darren says you're ace.
- f*ck you, that's...

Maybe. I don't know.

Darren's way into sex.

They always have been.

Th... those sleepovers we'd have,

we'd... we'd play with my Transformers

and all they'd want to do
is make Optimus Prime blow Bumblebee.

Well, we've found ways to make it work.

Yeah, for you.

Not so much for Darren.

What the f*ck does that mean?

It means that
they're watching p*rn before breakfast

and staying up for a wank
when you're asleep.

They told you that?

Yeah.

They're struggling, man.

Look.

All I'm saying,

is don't you think it's a little bit
selfish asking them to give it up?

f*ck this.

Hey, wait.

[hesitates] How's...

How's everything at Hartley?

[scoffs]

I broke your lock,
so you'll wanna get that fixed.

[door creaks]

[door slams shut]

- [breathing heavily]
- [somber music playing]

[sniffles]

[exhales]

- [gentle music playing]
- [rain pattering]

Thanks for staying.

Uh, that's all right.
You got me out of geography.

[both chuckle]

[pensive music playing]

- [music fades]
- [indistinct chatter]

Can you see my pad?

No, you're all good.

Do you reckon Quinni has
completely screwed my chances

at winning captain?

[Harper] I reckon
you might just sneak through.

She lives.

Oh, Miss, I am so sorry. I...

I hate that I let you down,
but I had a really good reason.

You okay?

I am now.

[Jojo] Okay, chat later.

Gotta go deal. [sighs]

Hey.

Rowan!

Oh, sh*t. Sorry.

[Rowan] It's okay. Got it.

Uh, I wasn't ignoring you yesterday.

I was just way too sick
to even look at my phone.

Yeah, it's cool.

Are you sure? 'Cause you left me on read.

[hesitates] I got an essay due.

I had to pull an all-nighter, so...

[school bell rings]

- I better get to class.
- No classes this morning.

Um, it's the school captain inauguration.

Then you better find your mates.

I'm sure you wanna be with them
for the announcement, right?

[Woodsy] And whoever made that pavlova,

a very famous dessert from New Zealand,

- as you all know...
- [student] As if!

[Woodsy]...really knocked it
out of the park.

So, thank you
for just this marvelous spread

of all these delicious cakes and treats.

With the proceeds of this bake sale,

we will be able to provide our buddies

in the Woodwork Department some wood.

So that's good, isn't it?

Thank you, Jojo.

Okay, and now the moment

that you have all been waiting for.

- Who will be...
- [exhales]

...Hartley High's new school captain?

- I feel sick.
- [Woodsy] Drumroll, please. [chuckles]

Okay, here we are.

Right, and the winner
is Quinn Gallagher-Jones.

- [student 1] What?
- [gasps]

- [student 2] What?
- [student 3] Quinni!

What the f*ck?

She wasn't even running!

- [Woodsy] Okay. We'll take a few minutes...
- [Missy] She didn't even run!

...to sort this out.

[Voss] Stop the steal!

[Woodsy] Okay, everyone.
Can everyone just settle down, please?

[both chanting] Stop the steal.
Stop the steal.

[slow suspenseful music playing]

[whooshing]

[students gasp]

[students laugh]

Food fight!

- ["Boombayah" by BLACKPINK playing]
- [all clamoring]

No, not a food fight!

♪ I don't want a boy
I need a man ♪

♪ Boombayah ♪

♪ Yah-yah-yah, boombayah ♪

♪ Yah-yah-yah, boombayah ♪

♪ Yah, yah, yah, yah ♪

[imperceptible]

♪ Boom-boom-ba, boom-boom-ba
Oppa! ♪

♪ Yah, yah yah
Yah-yah-yah-yah, yah-yah-yah ♪

♪ Yah, yah-yah, yah-yah-yah-yah
Yah-yah-yah ♪

♪ Oppa! ♪

♪ Yah, yah-yah, yah-yah-yah-yah
Yah-yah-yah ♪

♪ Oppa! ♪

♪ Yah, yah-yah, yah-yah-yah-yah
Yah-yah-yah ♪

♪ Yah, yah-yah, yah-yah-yah-yah
Boom-boom-ba, boombayah ♪

[all clamoring]

♪ BLACKPINK in your area ♪

[laughing]

[song ends]

- [Amerie chuckles]
- [all clamoring]

You're angry with me about yesterday?

Just tell it to me straight.

Were you with Malakai?

Okay, okay. Yes, yes.

I was, but it's not what you're thinking.

And Harper was there too.

I was dealing with, um,

with some personal stuff.

It was pretty heavy, but it's over now.

If you're not into me, just say so.
I... I can take it.

Rowan, I am.

I am into you
and I really do want to go on our date.

I swear to you.

["Dreams" by The Cranberries playing]

It's hard to stay mad at you
when you've got cake on your face.

You look like a sad clown.

- [chuckles]
- [Amerie exclaims]

Nah, I am. I... I am sad

because I'm scared I've ruined things
before we've even started.

Yeah.

[mumbles]

Ah... Oh, this really doesn't
want to come off, does it?

- [chuckles]
- What even is that?

Pavlova.

- Pavlova. Pavlova's my favorite.
- Mm.

- Yeah?
- Mm.

- Have some.
- [laughs] No, no.

- No.
- Come on.

♪ Because it came from you ♪

♪ Then I open up and see ♪

♪ The person falling here is me... ♪

Forget the date.

Come to formal with me instead.

That would make me a very happy clown.

[Spider grunting]

[all clamoring]

[laughs] Hate to say I told you so.

- f*ck off!
- [gasps]

- [Sasha] Missy!
- Timothy Voss!

[whimpering]

My office now!

[laughing]

[Voss] As if I would peg a lamington
at your face.

It flew out of my hand.

- Oh, flew out?
- Yes. I was doing this.

I was doing this

because the girl
is not on the bloody ticket.

Her name is Quinni
and she wasn't running for school captain,

but she was representing the SLT party,

which is essentially
how the students have voted.

Well, poor old Spencer
never stood a chance then, did he? Eh?

Oh, heaven forbid we give a middle class
white boy a leadership position.

No, that's not going to get you
any articles in The Guardian, is it?

Oh, wow.

It's such a shame
you see the world this way, Timothy,

but what happens next
isn't up to you, it's up to me.

This is exactly what's wrong
with education today.

It's gone to the dogs
because people like you

who can make a change
are putting personal agendas first,

fighting culture wars
instead of doing what's right by the kids.

Where's your professionalism?

Where's your integrity, Stacy?

Have a long hard look at yourself.

Says the man wearing Lycra.

Ah, don't be a c**t.

Go and get your belongings.

You have 20 minutes
to get off school property.

[breathing heavily]

This isn't over.

[taps on desk]

[sighs]

[Voss] Oh! There she is.

Well, you got what you wanted.

She fired me.

Why are you so threatened
by my program, huh?

All we did was some manual labor,

- bit of sport, exchange some ideas.
- Hmm.

That's a really charming way to describe
your youth wing of misogyny.

Oh, please.

How is turning young dynamic girls
into man-haters any less damaging?

[gasps softly]

[toilet flushes]

I know you didn't hook up with Dusty.

[water stops running]

[sighs softly]

- [water splashes]
- Right.

I'm sorry for being a bitch yesterday.

- I promise...
- Darren.

[Darren sighs]

[poignant music playing]

I obviously can't give you what you need.

Um, yes.

Yes, you can.

What we're doing is enough for me.

Then why did you go looking for sex?

Um...

I was

drunk and horny.

You made me feel bad
and I wanted to feel good.

I get it.

You should feel good. It's...

It's f*cked of me to expect you
to shut that part of yourself off.

- I am trying.
- Don't.

It's who you are.

That's why I love you.

But while we're together,
you will never be free to be that person.

[sobbing]

You're breaking up with me?

We'll be happier as friends.

We tried that and it didn't work.

Well, this... isn't working either, so...

[breath trembling]

- I can change, I want to change...
- Darren.

If sex is k*lling our relationship,

I... I will k*ll sex.

I will find a way to stop wanting it.

Ca$h.

You're all I want.

How can I prove it to you?

You can't.

[sighs]

[exhales]

[sniffles]

f*ck.

[Woodsy] Okay, so we've got 20 votes
for a blade of grass,

ten votes for the pink dildo
in the gymnasium,

and Renee Perera's bacne got two votes.

Obviously we cannot have
an inanimate object represent the school.

I mean, some students did vote
for the, um, original candidates.

Um, but not as many as you, Quinni.

So, you know, I was thinking
we could have a bit of a jam, you know?

Come to a... a solution together

that, uh, we are all,
you know, uh, in agreement of.

Amerie, I know that you had your heart set

- on being the school captain.
- [Amerie] I did. Um...

But you know what, Miss?

The reason I ran was
to prove that I wasn't a shitty person,

so it'd be pretty shitty move
to not give the people what they want.

[Woodsy] Well done, Amerie.

Quinni, what do you think?

Big responsibility.

I'd be a good school captain.

I wouldn't tell people
what they wanted or needed.

I'd just ask them and I'd listen.

Great!

Okay, congratulations.
The... The role is yours.

- [Quinni] Thank you.
- [Woodsy] Cool.

Congratulations.

The tone in your voice tells me
you don't mean that.

I missed the debate yesterday
because I was having an abortion.

[gasps]

[pensive music playing]

[Zoe exclaims]

- [students grunting]
- [shuttlecock thwacking]

- No! Well done.
- [student] Come on.

- [Zoe pants, clears throat]
- Wow, Zoe.

You're really dominating that shuttlecock.

Yeah, good sweat helps purge the edge, eh?

[chuckles]

Um... Could it... Could it help me?

I, um...

I need to learn how to not want sex.

[Zoe] sh*t. Guys, it's happening.

It's happening! [hesitates] Code red!

We've been waiting for you. [chuckles]

[trash bag rustling]

[foreboding music playing]

- ["Frauds" playing over headphones]
- [Malakai clears throat]

Hey.

You don't usually walk this way home.

I want you to know something.

- Huh.
- I'm with Amerie now.

Uh, yeah, yeah. She told me.

Yeah, but you hung out with her
last night.

Yeah. [chuckles]

Why would you do that
if you still weren't into her?

Uh...

Oh, she's my mate.

And she just needed my support, so...

- [sniffs]
- Yeah, she's got me for that now.

[chuckles in disbelief]

Who are you?

[Malakai scoffs]

- [tense music playing]
- [mumbles]

Me and Amerie have a history
deeper than you could ever know.

You'll never compete.

Stay the f*ck away from her
or you'll see what I'm capable of.

Yeah.

[Malakai clears throat]

[suspenseful music playing]

[sighs]

[gripping electronic music playing]