02x06 - Mika's Musical

[bunniefuu]

all: We crushed it!

- Great idea bringing that raw meat to fight Arson Boy.

- Yeah, cause now we got perfectly cooked burgers.

all: Yeah!

- If only Ketchup Kid had been there.

- It's a good point, that would have been so good.

[rhythmic knock at door]

both: Who is it?

- You know who it is. - It's Dad!

- Get the burgers.

[all yelling]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

- What are you waiting for? Come on in.

- I knew it.

You lazy kids have been laying about eating burgers

like a couple of burger slugs.

- Burger slugs?

- We have not been laying about.

- In fact, on this very evening, we defeated--

- Our homework. - Yeah, that.

- You're supposed to defeat your homework.

You know, just this morning, I was talking to Mrs. Offskrin.

- You talking about me, Herman? - Mind your business, Offskrin.

- Your wife still at Burning Ma'am festival

out in the desert?

- I said, mind your business.

Anyway, Offskrin told me

that her daughter Pammy got into Harberd.

- Wow.

- That's right, Harberd, up in Bostum.

And do you know how she got in?

- I'll bet you're gonna tell us.

- I'll tell you. - Okay.

- She got in because of her extracurriculars,

you know, things like sports

and clubs and other curriculars.

- She also wrote a good essay, Herm.

- What did I say, Offskrin?

So what kind of extracurriculars

do you have at SWAG?

- Uh... - Well...

- Exactly, nothing.

Which is why I'm going to pull you out of that school

and teach you myself, here.

- You mean homeschool?

- Nope, I mean Hermschool.

And unlike SWAG,

Hermschool's gonna have extra extracurriculars.

- Yeah, you can talk a big game, old man.

- But we all know that when Mom gets back from Burning Ma'am...

- She's gonna tell you you're crazy

and put us right back in SWAG.

- Yeah, I thought you might say that.

Which is why I ran this plan by your mother.

And she loved it.

And just in case you try to talk me out of it,

she sent me some backup.

- [gasps] - No, no, no, no, no, no.

- Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

- Hi, Auntie.

- Oh, I can smell your fear, baby girl.

Now you two get some sleep. Hermschool starts at dawn.

- That's a little early.

- It starts at dawn, Herman.

- Yes, ma'am.

- Actually, our school does have extracurriculars.

- Like what? - Like the theater program.

- Which we are in.

- SWAG has a theater program?

- Yep, and we're doing a school play.

A very extracurricular play.

- And what is this theatrical production called, baby boy?

- The History of Swellview-- - Burger Party.

- The History of Swellview Burger Party?

- [laughing]

- She's doing her dismissive laugh.

- [laughs] Ah! Oh!

- Its-it's the real title.

It's the history of Swellview,

shown through its most important burger parties.

- Yeah. - Is this play any good?

Cause I'm not counting it

as an extracurricular if it stinks.

- [scoffs] - Oh, it's good, old man.

- So good, it's already sold out.

So you can't come.

- Oh, nobody's gonna tell me

I can't go see my sister's babies on stage.

I'm a cop.

I'll get a warrant to come see it.

- Not necessary. - Seems excessive.

- Then we'll be there. - So when is it?

- You guys have to put on a play by tomorrow?

- No, we all do.

- Wait with the what now?

- We told my dad and Aunt Didi

that all the SWAG students would be in this thing.

- Guys, I can't be in a play. I can never remember the, uh,

what are the things actors are supposed to say?

- Lines? - Yeah, those things!

- Well, I'm hyped.

I mean, I'm good at hitting bad guys, but I'm...

♪ Great at hitting high notes ♪

- No, it's not a musical.

- It'll be a musical.

- We don't have time to write songs.

We already have to write the scripts, build the sets,

make the costumes, and sell out the theater--

- Calm down, Mika. We're not doing a play.

- Were out there eavesdropping on our entire conversation?

- Absolutely. Chapa, you have a wonderful singing voice.

- ♪ Thank you ♪

- If we don't do this play,

Mika and I are going to end up in Hermschool.

- And then there's no more Danger Force.

- Duh, why do your problems always become my problems?

- Because we tried to help you and Kid Danger defeat Drex,

ended up with super powers,

and then you said you'd help us be superheroes.

- Fine, we'll do a play.

But if this is gonna be a SWAG production, it's gotta be good.

I do not put my name on bad products.

- Really?

'Cause this jar of Captain Mannaise is brown.

- Hey, Captain Mannaise is FDA approved, okay?

And the checks keep on rolling in.

Besides, this stuff is creamy and--

[gags]

So the point is...

This play's gotta be good, okay?

I'm not gonna get embarrassed in front of the whole town.

- Speaking of the whole town,

how are we gonna sell out all this seats?

- Oh... [chuckles]

You just let old Ray take care of that.

Schwoz, I need you to take care of something!

- And now for our culture segment,

with Swellview villain slash theater fanatic Frankini.

[upbeat dance music]

- Thanks, Trent.

Mary.

- Frankini.

- Last night, I saw the non-musical adaptation

of "Cats."

- I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I'm being told

we have a better theater critic in the studio.

- And this one doesn't skip co-worker's birthdays.

- Oh, please, Mary, how many times can you turn ?

Whoa!

[yelling]

How many stairs are there?

[yelling]

- This newer, better reviewer is from Big City.

- He's got an accent and everything.

- His name is Gene Onion. Get out here, Gene.

- Thanks for having me, Trent.

I was blessed to get to see a preview of SWAG's

upcoming theatrical production: "The History of Swellview,

Colon, As Told Through Its Burger Parties."

It was so good, I couldn't forget about it.

Whoa.

- I'm buying tickets right now.

- You better hurry up,

'cause tickets are going, going--

I'm being told, they're gone.

- [chuckles]

- I'm back.

- No you're not.

- [yelling]

- Not again!

- [laughs]

- Frankini is so funny when he's getting hurt.

Okay, Mika, how's that script coming along?

- I'm typing as fast as I can, but we're running out of time.

- ♪ I'll bet that we can do it if we put our minds to it ♪

- Please stop singing, it's not a musical.

- It'll be a musical.

- Bose, how's that set coming along?

- Almost done painting.

- I feel like I could dip my toes in that Ketchup Canyon.

- You like it?

Maybe I should just focus on the sets

so that I don't have to learn any lines.

- So far I have you saying three words.

- Oof, can you get it down to two?

I'm just so bad with remembering things.

This one time, I forgot my stepdad's name.

[communicator ringing] - Vice Mayor Willard?

- No, that's not it. It's like...

- Yeah, it is, and he's calling the Man's Nest right now.

- Great.

All right, let's all pop a ball and take this call.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- What do you want, Vice Mayor--

well, hello Mrs. Vice Mayor.

- Hi, we need your help.

- No, we don't. - Yes, we do.

We are going to my son's play,

"The History of Swellview, Colon,

As Told Through Its Burger Parties."

We need you to make sure Vicey here

doesn't get kidnapped while we're there.

- I'm not gonna get kidnapped.

- You get kidnapped all the time.

It is so annoying.

You got kidnapped at my high school reunion, at the opera--

- At that father-son picnic. - Exactly.

- Well, don't you worry your pretty little head about it,

because I'm gonna be right by your side the whole night.

- On second thought, I'd prefer

if you stay away from my wife.

If there's gonna be bodyguards there,

I just want Danger Force standing guard and not you.

- We're actually busy tomorrow.

"The History of Swellview,

Colon, As Told Through Its Burger Parties."

- So you'll already be there, with us, at the same event.

Well, this is so great.

So we'll just see you tomorrow, then?

Bye!

- If I may,

why did you say that?

Now SWAG has to put on a play for the whole town

while Danger Force has to keep the vice mayor

from getting kidnapped.

- But those are the same people.

And those people are us!

- Yes, you have clearly stated the problem.

- Okay, well, on the bright side,

we got the sets done.

- Oh, that was close. - Whew.

all: Mika!

- [muffled] Get this thing off me.

- One, two, three.

- Come on! Lift with your back! [all groaning]

- It all just kind of happened.

[overlapping chatter]

- Stop talking!

- ♪ Danger ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ ♪

♪ Danger! One, two, three, Force! ♪

[doorbell rings]

all: Emergency!

- That's just the doorbell.

- I know.

- Okay, so we'll guard the vice mayor

during the first scene, but we need you to switch out

with you guys us as soon as the other scene happens because--

- Gather, children, front and center.

- Oh, we're kneeling? Okay. - Okay.

- Look, I just wanted to say that, uh,

the past thirty hours have been

some of the most artistically fulfilling of my whole life.

I have watched you grow in ways that I never thought possible.

- Dude, are you really about to cry?

- No, that was acting!

And that's how good I want your performances to be.

- Wow. - Thank you.

Now, get out there and don't embarrass me.

- Let me tell you all about Hermschool.

- Herman, I was very clear

that you are not to speak to people.

- I'm just telling him about all the courses

I'm gonna teach at Hermschool.

It's gonna be Hermanomics, Hermanities, Herm--

- Just, please leave me alone. [gibbering]

Please leave me alone.

- Yo, this here play is a real home run, know what I mean?

So's the school that's putting it on.

Sounds like a real extracurricular kinda place,

if you know what I mean.

- [gibbering]

- Dude, your stepdad is late.

- That's on purpose. He's not my biggest fan.

- I am not Bose's biggest fan.

I wish he were more like Brainbuddy here.

I mean, this kid got it going on.

Hey, bud, huge fan.

- Thank you, sir.

- I wish you wouldn't bring this bucket of soda

everywhere we go. - Oh relax.

I'm only gonna have one if I get really bored.

- Greetings, friends.

Did you know that the Battle of Swellview was won

because of a burger party?

- Or that it was a Meaty Treaty that gained us this land,

with a view that is so swell?

In a very extracurricular production of...

both: "A History of Swellview, Colon,

As Told Through Its Burger Parties."

- [mouthing words]

- Hey, Brainbuddy,

levitate these puppies to the trash, will you?

- Yes, sir. I'll put them in the recycling.

- I said trash.

- Look, in the audience.

- Oh, yeah, it's Bennie, that dog with a hat.

- No, next to him.

That bald guy with the fancy opera glasses?

What's a guy like him doing with opera glasses?

- Yeah, and why would you need special glasses to see Oprah?

She's not even here.

- That's Frankini!

I recognize that tattoo on his arm

from the Man's Nest villain files.

- And he got a kidnapping sack.

I recognize that from my stepdad's other kidnappings.

- I'll bet he's the kidnapper. Let's bounce.

- Guys, guys, guys, hey!

Guess who we just saw in the audience?

- Bennie, that dog with a hat?

We saw him too.

Did he get work done?

- No, it's Frankini.

He's in disguise, and he's sitting next to my dad.

- We think he's here to kidnap my stepdad, Vice Miller Willie.

- Okay, while you guys

are on stage, we'll take Frankini out.

all: Yeah.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Excuse me, why are we back here discussing nonsense

when there is a play going on?

And Bennie, that dog with a hat, is out there.

Now, I will not be embarrassed in front of him or his hat.

- ♪ He might like a song ♪

- It's not a musical!

- [whispering] It's gonna be a musical.

- [retches]

- What if I forget my line?

- You don't have any lines in this scene,

all you gotta do is stand there.

- Oh, what if I forget how to stand?

- You're not gonna forget how to stand.

Okay, come on, all right.

[applause]

- After the Battle of the Buns,

the rivers ran red with ketchup for weeks.

Luckily, I was able to take shelter

behind the shady buns of--

Come on. Come on, Bose.

- Herman, I'm about to arrest

everyone on that stage for wasting my time.

- Wait, where is Frankini? - The vice mayor!

- Go, go, go!

[furtive music]

♪ ♪

- He's gone. - I didn't fall asleep.

I love Bose's play. Is it over?

Vicey? Oh, Vicey!

Oh, no, he's been kidnapped again!

Where is he? - Shh, shh, shh.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, this happens all the time!

Oh!

- I'm sorry, guys, I'm ruining everything out there.

- Hey, here, buddy. Have a little Captain Mannaise.

- No, that stuff is disgusting.

- You know, that's what I thought, too,

but after you eat, like, half a tub of it,

it starts to grow on you.

- Bose's stepdad is gone.

- You are lucky I have my theater scarf.

- We think Frankini snatched him.

- Well, this is just great!

I can't remember my lines,

and my stepdad's been kidnapped.

Let's just shut this down.

- Yeah, I agree. - It's kind of a wash.

- No!

We are not shutting this play down!

- Is someone gonna come out here and act?

all: Mind your business, Offskrin!

- Maybe the vice mayor just went to the bathroom.

- He was crushing those brightly-colored sodas.

- Exactly! Chapa and Miles, go check the bathroom.

Bose, get your costume on. You're going back out there,

because I am not going to Hermschool!

- We're going.

- [grunting]

- Hey, I don't mean to add you stress,

but we got another crisis.

I'm almost out of Captain Mannaise.

- I don't care!

- Ah, would you please just stop drinking sodas

and get in the sack?

Danger Force? I mean...

[gibbering] Uh, hello, children?

- Well, well, well. What do we have here?

- Wait, it's not what it looks like.

- Really?

'Cause it looks like a kidnapping to me, Frankini.

- [yelling]

- Oh, cool.

- Oh! [groaning]

No! No more! No more, please.

Oh, no!

[muffled gurgling] [toilet flushes]

- Hey, I'm doing my business here.

- Sounds like we got a - in there.

- Maybe you should check it out.

- Don't be ridiculous, Herman. I'm off duty.

They can - all they want.

- [grunts] - [yells]

Please stop!

- This is better than the play.

- This isn't a real kidnapping!

- What did you say?

- The vice mayor hired me to kidnap him.

- Dang it, Frankini. - For real? Why?

- He hires me to kidnap him

every time he doesn't wanna do something.

His wife's high school reunion, the opera, his colonoscopy.

That was fun.

And tonight, his disappointing stepson's play.

- That's it, deal's off.

I'm not taking you water skiing anymore.

- [gasps] - We're sorry.

- Apology accepted. both: Not you!

- You didn't do anything wrong, Frankini.

We're sorry we b*at you. - Oh.

- Yeah, you just wanted to water ski.

- Yes.

- And I just want to get out of that awful play.

I mean, we're all victims here.

[yelps]

I'm sorry.

I've learned my lesson. Let's all just go home.

- No, you're gonna go back out there

and finish watching your stepson's play.

And when it's over,

you're gonna clap so hard your hands hurt.

And if they don't hurt, I am going to make them hurt!

Are we clear? - Yes, ma'am.

- Sounds like they are not loving this play.

- They'd love it if it was a musical.

- A musical? I wish I had thought of that.

- Yeah, but it's a little late for that.

- Oh, honey...

[laughing] it's never too late

for a musical.

Exit!

Ha!

[Bennie barks]

- You're exactly right, Bennie, that dog with a hat.

This play is ridiculous.

- Enough is enough, let's go.

Hermschool starts on Monday at, like, :.

- Dawn. - Dang it.

[audience murmuring]

- ♪ Life ♪

♪ Is like a hamburger ♪

- ♪ If you fall behind, you better ketchup ♪

- ♪ Relish in the chance to show us your stuff ♪

all: And party!

♪ Burger, burger party, burger party ♪

♪ Burger, burger party, burger, burger ♪

♪ Party with us ♪

♪ We're gonna party! ♪

- So is the play a musical now?

- That's apparent to everyone, Herman.

Keep up.

- ♪ Life is like a hamburger ♪

- ♪ When you're in a pickle, it's awfully wise ♪

- ♪ To shake it up with some waffle cut fries ♪

both: ♪ We'd like to be your ham servers ♪

- ♪ We got toasty buns, and we're cheesing for days ♪

all: ♪ We spread our love like it's Captain Mannaise ♪

- ♪ You know we'll give it to you ♪

both: ♪ Well done ♪

- ♪ You know we're bringing home the ♪

both: ♪ Bacon ♪

♪ Because we are grilliant as they come ♪

all: ♪ Burger, burger party, burger party ♪

♪ Burger, burger party burger, burger ♪

♪ Party with us ♪

♪ We're gonna party ♪

♪ Burger, burger party burger party ♪

♪ Burger, burger party burger, burger ♪

♪ Party with ♪

♪ We're gonna ♪

[cheers and applause]

- That's your line!

- The end.

[cheers and applause]

- It's over. And my boy, Bose, ended it.

Bravo, Bose!

Bravo! Way better than Brainbender.

[sentimental music]

- I love this play.

I love those babies. I love it all.

- I'm not gonna mention Hermschool again

for two weeks.

- Hey, I'm gonna give SWAG this here award

for the best play I ever done seen.

[all gasp]

I know I'm from Big City-- bada bing.

- Thank you so much. I deserve this.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

[all gasp]

- That was a close one. [laughs]

all: Frankini!

- Get this thing off of me!

- Thank you so much.

I really appreciate it. Thank you.

- ♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪

♪ The second I see trouble I know I'll be fine ♪

♪ I'm okay ♪

♪ I'm okay! ♪

♪ Danger ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ ♪

♪ Danger! One, two, three, Force! ♪