[upbeat rock music]
- [sniffs] I'm getting notes of pot roast.
- That's because it's puréed pot roast.
- Yeah, it's definitely roasty. Also very potty.
- Okay, you've sampled seven different purées.
Just pick one.
- What's in your carrot purée again?
all: Carrots!
- That sounds delicious.
[all sigh]
- Could I get a sample of that?
[all groan]
- Ow.
- Okay, who threw their teeth at my friend?
- They're my teeth, but I didn't throw 'em.
- Then who did? - That kid!
- And I'll throw 'em again if you don't stop sampling
and pick a dang purée! - Oh, oh!
- Do not tell my friend what to do.
Seriously, though, bud, you gotta pick one.
- What are you, his mommy?
- I know you didn't just take a threatening step towards me.
- I did. And now I'm doing this.
[electricity crackles]
- I'm gonna light that kid up.
- We're not allowed to use our superpowers
unless we're in our uniforms fighting crime...
- I know that.
- Because if we do, then everyone will know
our secret identities. - Okay, just hear me out.
On the way out-- - Whoa!
- You gonna pick a purée,
or do I have to throw more old people stuff at you?
[electricity crackles] - Easy, sparky.
- I'll pick one for you. Try some trout pot pie.
[all gasp]
- Yeah, this is the one.
I'll definitely get a sample of this.
[all groan]
♪ ♪
- You cannot charm a snake with a flute.
- Yes, you can. - No, you can't.
- You can if it's a cobra.
- You've been watching too many cartoons.
- You haven't been watching enough cartoons.
- You don't make any sense. - It is :.
Where are Bose and Chapa?
- They're three minutes late. Dude, chill.
- Yeah, this is why we shouldn't even have lunch.
- Chapa and Bose approaching. - Ooh, they're here.
Hey, let's all start laughing so they feel like
they missed out on something hilarious
that they'll never be part of again.
- That's shockingly immature. - When you gonna grow up, Ray?
- [laughing hesitantly]
[laughing] Oh, look who's here!
Bet they could use a visit from Sergeant Seahorse, yeah?
- Man, did we miss out on something hilarious
we'll never be a part of again?
- Well, maybe you won't be late from lunch next time.
- Sorry, some kid was picking on Bose
at Hip Hop Purée. - What?
- Poured trout pot pie all over my head.
- What?
They did this to our sweet Bosey?
- Pfft, bruh, you just made up a fake joke
to hurt his feelings. - I did it out of love!
Who poured this goop on your innocent head?
- I think it was that kid that broke his grandpa
out of jail 'cause he owed him money.
- Who, Crank? Isn't that kid, like, six?
Why didn't you light him up?
- Because we're not allowed
to use our powers unless we're in our uniforms
fighting crime.
- Secrets, identities, et cetera.
- Well, then it's a good thing that regular old citizen
Ray Manchester doesn't need superpowers
to head on down to Hip Hop Purée
and b*at up a kid. - Right behind you.
- Oh, get the trout pot pie. It's delicious.
- Hey, I don't like that Bose got picked on either.
- Perfect, come with us then.
- But breaking teeth is not how you solve this problem.
The best way to address the harm that kid caused
is to give our boy a hug and tell him
it's gonna be okay.
- [sighs]
Hey, it's gonna be okay?
- Aw, thanks.
- Now let's go break some teeth!
- Right behind you! - [sighs]
Mika, my beloved sister, will you please talk
some sense into this man.
- I'm with Ray. Let's break some teeth!
- Right behind you. - What?
- Someone wronged Bose.
Now let's go down there and give the tooth fairy
something to do tonight. - Loving this look for you.
- Thank you. IT has pockets.
- And I'm out.
- You can't solve v*olence with more v*olence.
- [sighs] Okay.
- Thank you. - Hey, is anyone else hungry?
'cause I'm, like, super hungry.
I could really go for some purée.
- I am hungry as well.
- As well, as I am hungry as well.
- Hmm.
- I know what you guys are doing here.
- I want to return my purée. This stuff tastes like shirt.
- Well, then let us traverse to Hip Hop Purée
to acquire some delicious foods,
and if whilst we are there,
we perchance to meet some ruffians,
who have befouled our loved ones...
- Okay, just stop. I'll go.
- En route!
♪ ♪
[laughter]
- Oh, you gotta go over there to get 'em now.
[laughter]
- I'll just give 'em back. Psych!
[laughter]
- Oh!
- Game's over, tough guy.
[teeth crunch]
- My dentures! - Oh, terribly sorry.
- I never should have gotten out of bed today.
- What's your deal, old man?
- Oh! - Now you did it.
- You messed up.
- Now, you listen to me, you little--ah, ah, ah, ah!
What the heck? - Is that Tickle Wazz?
[ominous music]
- Debbie? - You know this guy, Ma?
- Sure do, went to elementary school with him.
- Why'd you call him Tickle Wazz?
- I'll show you.
- Are you gonna wazz? Are you gonna?
Are you gonna wazz your pants? - No, no, stop, all right!
That's enough!
What's your deal, Debbie, huh?
Hanging out with a bunch of mean kids
wearing matching jackets and looking mean
and also being mean? - Pretty much.
Except now I run a school. - No way, him too.
- Well, my school teaches kids the ancient art
of Swellview street fighting. What's yours teach?
Pants wazzing?
[laughter] - No.
I don't teach that 'cause I don't do that
anymore.
- We go to the Swellview Academy for the Gifted.
- Yeah, it's called SWAG.
- Oh, well two bad you swag bags
don't learn how to fight. - [chuckles]
- Oh, they can fight, Debby.
- Oh, well, then maybe we'll see you at the tournament.
- Oh, we'll be there, and we're gonna win.
What tournament?
♪ ♪
- The Swellview Children's Street Fighting Championship.
It's sponsored by the Swellview Police Department
and held in the basement of a church.
- So it's real.
- And supervised by adults.
If you think your kids are so tough...
- I do.
- Then let's make a little bit.
Your kids take on my kids.
Losers never show their face in Hip Hop Purée again.
- Ooh. - [laughs]
- So we have to wear bags over our heads.
- No, it means we can never come back here again.
- Well, I don't want to do that.
- Well, too bad 'cause you're gonna lose.
- [laughs]
- Yeah, we'll see about that.
- Let's back out the tough way.
- Huh, how do we back out the tough way?
- Without breaking eye contact. - [laughs]
Are you telling your kids to back out the tough way?
- No, it's just happening like this organically
on its own 'cause we're tough. - Oh, sure.
- Ow! - Oh, my God!
I'm so sorry! I am sorry.
- Oh, yeah, you gotta watch out for that.
Their door is there. Bye, losers.
- It all just kind of happened.
[overlapping chatter]
You get all that?
- ♪ Danger ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ ♪
♪ Danger! One, two, three, Force! ♪
- We look amazing.
- You've been posing for hours.
[all shouting at once]
- That's right, keep walking, Schwoz.
Keep walking.
[upbeat rock music]
- So should we clean all this stuff up or...
- "Do not clean up.
Street stuff for street fighting."
- I'm guessing it's here to help us train.
- Which we don't even need anyway.
Am I right? - Yeah, we're superheroes.
- We are professional kick butt artists.
- Oh, really?
Since you don't need training, tell me,
what's the most important thing in street fighting?
- The street. - The fighting.
- The look. - What do you mean, the look?
- You saw the Chain g*ng yesterday.
They had jackets and chains. They looked great.
And what are you guys gonna wear tomorrow?
- I was gonna wear khakis. - Ugh.
- And I was gonna wear this. It has pockets.
- This is exactly what I was worried about!
You kids don't know the first thing
about street fighting.
- We're Supie nominated sidekicks.
Pretty sure we know how to fight.
- Yeah, you know how to fight crime
with your powers, but this is street fighting.
Anything goes.
Except you can't use your powers.
Those don't go. - No problem.
We'll take them down like we did
with Big Beard and his g*ons. - [chuckles]
These are the streets, kiddo.
And the rule on the streets is, you fall on your back,
you're out. - Still no problem.
[chuckles] We'll just stay on our feet.
- Rug att*ck!
- Ah! - Oh!
- What the--?
- I didn't even realize we were standing on a rug.
- Who did that?
- Allow me to introduce you to your teacher,
the greatest street fighter and person injury lawyer
that ever lived. - It's me, Schwoz!
From work!
- Schwoz, you're a street fighter?
- Yes, I was the number one street fighter
in my height class. - That's awesome.
Do you still compete?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I don't fight anymore.
- And not since...
[together] The incident.
[words echoing]
[ominous music]
- What incident? - Let's get started.
Schwoz is gonna teach you guys some sick street fighting moves
while I go get those costumes ready.
- Let's get started. - Let's hurt people.
- Teach us! - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What incident?
- Someone want to pick a song?
It'll help this training go by a lot faster.
- Ooh, "Street Fighting and Costumes"
by Toyland Mechanics. - Love that song.
- Oh, that's music! - Love it.
- What incident? - Whoo!
[Toyland Mechanics' "Street Fighting and Costumes"]
- Ha!
[upbeat rock music]
[screams]
Ah!
♪ ♪
- ♪ It's a lot when you're feeling this hot ♪
♪ I'm a one stop shop ♪
♪ I take it to the top ♪
♪ Not a crime to be taking my time ♪
♪ Got a one track mind to the object ♪
♪ I'm gonna fly ♪
♪ Gonna take you down ♪
♪ With no time-outs ♪
♪ Don't look now ♪
♪ ♪
- Okay.
- ♪ Street fighting and costumes ♪
♪ Street fighting while we're wearing our costumes ♪
♪ Street fighting and costumes ♪
♪ Street fighting while we're wearing our costumes ♪
- ♪ Wearing costumes ♪ - ♪ Street fighting costumes ♪
♪ ♪
- ♪ Wearing costumes ♪ - ♪ Street fighting costumes ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Gonna take you down ♪
♪ Where there's no time-outs ♪
♪ Don't look now ♪
- [playing mysterious melody]
- ♪ Street fighting and costumes ♪
♪ Street fighting while we're wearing our costumes ♪
♪ Street fighting and costumes ♪
♪ Street fighting while we're wearing our costumes ♪
♪ Street fighting and costumes ♪
♪ Street fighting while we're wearing our costumes ♪
♪ Street fighting and costumes ♪
♪ Street fighting while we're wearing our costumes ♪
♪ ♪
- Hey, you guys ready to see
the sick costumes I made for you?
[all groaning]
Yeesh, Schwoz, this is almost as bad as...
the incident. - What incident?
- Better roll. We're gonna be late.
- Okay, come on. - Come on, guys.
- Get up. - Suck it up, people.
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
[indistinct chatter]
- Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today
in the basement of the First Church of Swellview
to celebrate the ancient martial art of street fighting!
[cheers and applause]
We are blessed to have our returning champions,
the Chain g*ng!
[cheers and applause]
We also have nearly hopeless teams
like the Bling Kings...
[cheers and applause]
- The Grade Skippers...
[cheers and applause]
- The Left Behinds...
[cheers and applause]
And the Shirtless Cowboys.
[cheers and applause]
- Yee-haw! - Oh.
[cheers and applause]
And last but certainly not least,
the main characters of our tournament,
the Disco Dragons!
- Yeah! - Yeah!
[crowd murmuring]
- Cool. - That's how it is?
- Schwoz Schwartz?
I haven't seen you since... the incident.
- What incident?
- Okay, there's a Bible study class
happening in one hour, so let's get street fighting!
[cheers and applause]
- Hey, I want nice, dirty fights.
- Yeah! - Below the belt!
- Yeah! - Above the belt!
- Yeah!
- Using the belt to hurt someone!
- Yeah! - You know, belt stuff!
But once your back hits the floor,
you're out!
[cheers and applause]
- Uh, are you sure that Disco Dragons
was the best look for street fighting.
- [sighs]
What's the most dangerous creature on land?
[together] A disco dancer.
- And what's the most fire-breathing, flying lizard?
- A dragon because it's the only
fire-breathing, flying lizard, so--
- Okay, now, before you hit the mat,
I want to remind you.
You're doing all this to avenge me.
- Eh, kind of avenging Bose.
- Yeah, but also me.
- Eh, this whole thing started with Bose.
- Yeah, but now it's about me, so...
- Just here for Bose.
- But you're representing me, okay?
A man of dignity and honor and courage.
- [laughs] - [screaming and laughing]
- What's up, Tickle Wazz? - I didn't pee!
- [laughs] Well, guess what.
Urine trouble. [laughs]
- Urine is wazz! Good joke, Ma!
- [laughs] - I didn't pee!
Totally unrelated, I'm just gonna go
make a quick phone call.
I get the best reception in the bathroom.
- [laughs]
♪ ♪
- Disco Dragons versus Shirtless Cowboys!
Street fight!
[cheers and applause]
- Ugh. - Oh.
- Oh. - Ugh.
- Winner, Disco Dragons!
[cheers and applause]
Chain g*ng versus the Bling Kings!
Street fight!
[cheers and applause]
- Whoa! - Oh!
- Oh! Ah.
- Winner, Chain g*ng!
[cheers and applause]
- You said your dad bribed the referee!
- No, that was to get into private school!
- Oh!
- If you need a good personal injury attorney,
give me a call. I only get paid if I win.
- Schwoz, don't talk to them. They're the enemy.
- Coming. And I always win.
♪ ♪
- Next round, Disco Dragons versus the Left Behinds!
- So why are you guys the called Left Behinds?
- 'Cause we should have been seniors in high school by now,
but we got Left Behind.
- Well, I'm gonna kick you in your left behind.
- What? - Street fight!
- Oh, she kicked me in my left behind!
- She called her sh*t.
- Oh! - Oh, ah!
- [grunts] - Ow!
- Winner, Disco Dragon--
- Hiyah! - Oh, no, no, no.
- Ooh, sorry. - Chapa.
- You okay?
♪ ♪
- Next up, the Chain g*ng versus the Grade Skippers!
- Oh, come on.
How come they always get the weakest opponents?
- Who you calling weak, boomer? - What'd you call me?
- Street fight!
[cheers and applause]
[chains clatter]
[cheers and applause]
- Ha!
- [laughs]
- What is the incident?
- [laughing]
Grr. Ooh.
- [laughs]
♪ ♪
- We're ready to start the final fight!
Chain g*ng, Disco Dragons, please make your way
to the street.
[cheers and applause]
- Okay, these are my final pants.
- You brought a pair of pants specifically for the finals?
- No, I mean, these are my final pair of pants.
All the others are soaking wet.
- Mm, from your pee? - No.
From someone else's pee.
- Okay, whoever wins this match
gets that really small trophy over there
and a five dollar gift certificate
to Thick Taco.
Thick Taco, too big to eat normal.
I've also been informed that the loser
must never show their face
in Hip Hop Purée ever again.
- No problem. - Nice stakes.
- We're gonna win. - We got it.
- Now, let's street fight!
[cheers and applause]
- Disco Dragons, let's stick together.
There's no way they can b*at us if we work as a team.
- That's my sister!
Nobody messes with my sister!
Ugh, this rock is a lot heavier than I thought.
Oh, I was against this from the beginning.
- I'm not great at math, but I think they outnumber us.
- Stay behind me, and I'll protect you.
As soon as I take out that big guy,
I'm gonna work my way over to the sweaty one.
Okay? Okay?
- [laughing]
- Sounds like a good plan. - Bose!
- Big guy got toilet jelly on his head!
[laughs]
- Come on, Disco Dragons! Get your head in the game!
We got a lot riding on this! Now, don't mess this up--
[laughing]
- Looks like your kids are about to lose the match,
and you're about to lose your wazz!
- Come on, no, these are my last pants!
[laughing] Stop it, no!
No, kids, help!
- This...
- Ends...
- Now!
♪ ♪
[cheers and applause]
- Hey, Ray, you all right?
- Yeah, don't worry about me. Worry about her.
[electricity crackles]
- Oh, wow, someone should stop her.
Seriously, though, what's the incident?
[electricity crackles]
[electricity crackles]
- Time-out! Time-out!
- Bless you, son.
There's no time-outs in street fighting.
- [growls]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[cheers and applause]
[electricity crackles]
- Okay, that was amazing, but we really gotta stop Chapa
before she uses her powers out here
in front of everyone. - I'll stop her.
[metal clanks]
- You're both out! - Great.
Now what do we do?
[electricity crackles]
[cheers and applause]
- There's an emergency call. - Oh, great idea.
A fake emergency call will definitely get her to stop.
- No, no, no, it's a real emergency call.
There's a runaway train full of cats
about to crash into a runaway bus full of dogs.
♪ ♪
[electricity crackles]
- We gotta go.
- I said no time-outs,
and I retract my earlier blessing!
- I ain't calling a time-out, Padre.
- What are you doing? - We gotta go now.
- Just give me a second. - We don't have a second.
- What, Ray, no, no!
- It's a forfeit! Chain g*ng wins!
- Yeah, you better run!
[crowd booing]
- Bye, everybody! Thanks for having us!
Great tournament! We'll see you next year!
- Bye, Tickle Wazz!
We're number one, and you went number one
in your pants! - Oh, that's it.
- [screams]
- Whoa! - Oh, yeah!
[people screaming indistinctly]
- No, no! - Let me at her!
You can't take it! I'm a man!
Let me at her!
[upbeat rock music]
- And then just when she was about to take me out...
- Yeah.
- She realized how tough I was and ran away crying.
[laughter]
Or as my mom calls it, wazzing from her eyes!
[laughter]
- This doesn't work! - I know.
- You can't suck a sandwich through a straw
unless it's been puréed. - I know.
- I'm gonna go in there and light that kid up.
- No, no, no, no, no, no. - But he was mean to Bose.
- Yeah, being mean is not a crime.
- Okay, yeah, but Bose is the only pure, innocent thing
left in this dirt hole of a world.
- Sweetest kid I've ever known. - Exactly.
And that gunch dumped
puréed trout pot pie on his head.
- We can't use our powers unless we're fighting crime.
- Look at him in there, holding court,
knee-deep in purée, taking two mints
at a time. - Wait, what'd you say?
- Knee-deep in purée. - No, after that.
- Taking two mints at a time.
[soft dramatic music]
- But the sign clearly says, "Limit one mint per customer.
Violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law."
- So that's stealing. - Sure is.
- Stealing is a crime. - It sure is.
- And if a superhero takes him to jail...
- He's not around to keep us from going into Hip Hop Purée.
♪ ♪
- Okay, you can go in there and light him up,
but before you transform, we gotta make sure
no one's looking. - Don't care who's looking.
- Okay.
♪ ♪
[suit hums]
- Don't hurt him too bad.
[electricity crackles]
- [grunts]
[electricity crackling]
[people screaming]
[expl*si*n]
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Hey, hey, time-out, time-out.
[upbeat rock music]
- ♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪
♪ The second I see trouble I know I'll be fine ♪
♪ I'm okay ♪
♪ I'm okay! ♪
♪ Danger ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ ♪
♪ Danger! One, two, three, Force! ♪
02x19 - Street Fightin'
Watch/Buy Amazon
Series is a spinoff of Henry Danger and follows four new superheroes-in-training, to attend Swellview Academy for the Gifted.
Series is a spinoff of Henry Danger and follows four new superheroes-in-training, to attend Swellview Academy for the Gifted.