- SwellMelonFest has been
receiving edible threats
all week.
- These threats are good.
- Hey, you find me
a heart-shaped diamond?
- No. No,
I didn't find a diamond--
- Hanging up.
- Wait, wait, wait!
Some kind of cave drawing.
- I can't believe
you made us work all day
just so you can go on a date
with Buddy Fudgers' mom.
- Sounds like me.
- They're just trying
to keep us busy.
- But from what?
- [gasps] Miles.
- AWOL!
- [whimpers]
- The Prophecy is right.
He is coming.
[tense music]
- Listen to me,
and listen good, tough guy.
You dumble-dorks just made
the biggest mistake
of your miserable lives.
You kidnapped the wrong person,
because I have friends.
Friends who have a very
particular set of skills.
Friends
who will stop at nothing--
and I mean nothing--
to come rescue me.
I'll bet they're on their way
right now.
And they will destroy
each and every last one of you!
- Hmm.
- We're about to destroy...
this taco bar!
[all cheer]
[laughter and chatter]
- Wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Aren't we forgetting something?
- Um...
- Your homemade onions.
- Yeah, yeah!
- That's what it is.
- Homegrown
and freshly chopped!
[all cheer and chatter]
- Okay, so it's been a week.
But you're in deep poopies,
and you know why?
Because my friends
have had seven days
to get even more angries.
And every second that goes by,
they get closer and closer.
And their skills get
even more specific.
And when they're done
rescuing me,
you'll all be sneezing farts
for the rest
of your pathetic lives!
[chuckling] Yeah.
- We've been training
for seven days.
You all know the mission.
It's time to rescue...
the lost art of salsa dancing!
[Gloria Estefan's
"Conga" playing]
- Espérate! Espérate!
[music stops]
Aren't we missing someone?
- Miles is right.
We are missing someone.
- Yeah, Ray can't salsa dance
without a partner.
- Correction, you can't
salsa dance without a Buddy!
[all cheer]
- It's a salsa dancin' miracle!
- Whoo!
- Shall we?
- Sí, señor.
- Bailamos!
[music resumes]
- Okay, they're not coming.
Guess I live here now.
- Yes, and you will
spend your days
building this for us.
- Ooh, fun, a roller coaster.
- You're holding them
upside down!
- Ooh, fun, an evil device.
See, that makes more sense.
- The first step
to chopping onions
is to have a wide stance.
- Finish him!
[monster growling]
- ShoutOut, Tele-kick!
- [yells]
- Oh!
- Oh, sorry.
- Yeah, Ray,
I don't know
about this whole hologram
fight training thing.
- [weakly]
I also have issues with it.
- Yeah, the Holo-Fighter don't
work too good without Internet.
- Apologies, folks.
The Internet is
a little temperamental today.
I'm giving her all she's got,
but ol' girl just seems
to be out of juice.
- Well,
thanks for trying, Buddy.
- Ugh!
- But we'll just call the guy
that's actually supposed
to fix the Internet.
all: Schwoz!
Schwoz!
Schwoz!
- Wait, guys,
I don't think Schwoz is h--
all: Schwoz!
- Guys!
I don't think Schwoz is here.
Look at his food bowl.
[dramatic musical flourish]
- Okay, for real,
when was the last time
anybody had eyes on Schwoz?
- He brought tacos
to that onion night.
- Onions to taco night,
and that was me.
- Oh, wait!
I saw him last night.
He tucked me into bed.
- That was your mom.
- In the mirror this morning,
when I was brushing my teeth--
- Okay, has anyone seen Schwoz?
And maybe Brainstorm
doesn't answer this time.
- The last time I saw him
was the day of SwellMelonFest
when that mask guy stuck me
with that needle...
[panicking] And oh, my God,
I think they kidnapped Schwoz!
- What?
- What do you mean?
[both gasp]
- Oh, my God,
I summoned one of 'em!
- Light him up!
- Wait!
You gotta help me!
- It's Frankini.
Light him up!
- Oh, please!
I don't wanna be here anymore!
- What are you so scared of?
- I'm not scared.
Scared is when they discontinue
your favorite concealer.
No, I'm positively petrified!
Oh, now!
Teleport me out of town now!
Any blue state as long
as it's far away from here!
- Hey! What are you
so positively petrified of?
- The Cell.
- What's The Cell?
- It's what we call ourselves.
You know, kind of like
a sportsball troupe name.
Go, The Cell!
- So all those guys
in creepy masks and sweatshirts
are part of a collective?
- Like a big group
of criminals?
- Oh, yes.
- Aren't you a part
of The Cell?
- Not anymore.
I only joined because I was
summering in Swellview Prison,
and I wanted to make friends.
- Nice "friends."
- They were always talking
about the Prophecy,
which I thought was a new piece
by Lin-Manuel Miranda.
But then they found that
cave drawing the other day.
- What cave drawing?
- The one that they took
when they kidnapped
this little science guy
with the hilarious accent.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Smart, little, accent?
Oh, my God,
they kidnapped Super Mario.
- What? No, dude.
They kidnapped Schwoz!
- [gasps]
- What does The Cell
need a science guy for?
- So he can build
an evil device
to fulfill the Prophecy.
- Wait, wait, what device?
- What prophecy?
- The one
about the end of the world!
Or something.
I don't know.
I wasn't paying attention
during any of the meetings,
but I know that it's very bad
and it is all coming true.
You have no idea
how evil these people are.
I need to get out of here.
And you'll all run too
if any of you are smart.
- Guess I'm staying.
Have a safe trip, guys.
- It all just
kind of happened.
[overlapping chatter]
You get all that?
[vocalizing]
- We look amazing.
- You've been posing for hours.
[all shouting at once]
- That's right,
keep walking, Schwoz.
Keep walking.
- [sighs]
This is just great.
The world's ending,
and they kidnapped Schwoz.
[blender whirring]
- Remember
when our biggest problem
was protecting
that kid's ponytail?
- Yeah, that was fun.
Hey, did that kid live?
- He did.
Lost his little pony, though.
And how can you make a smoothie
at a time like this?
- Eh, I'm used to threats.
Lil' Dynomite used
to want to end me.
Now I'm dating his mom,
and he's down in a hole
fixing my Internet.
- Happy to help, sir!
- Ugh, smoothies are gross.
- We told you
not to put ketchup in there.
- Well, you were right.
- All right, we need to stop
making ketchup smoothies,
worrying about prophecies,
and go rescue our friend.
- Just run!
Save yourselves!
- Get out of there!
Look, we are not running
from a bunch of bad guys
in hoodies!
- No, you don't understand.
These guys aren't funny.
They don't have silly costumes.
They're not grown men
dressed like babies.
They're not "bad guys."
They're evil!
- See, now I feel like
it needs more ketchup.
- So maybe they are evil.
And maybe
you're still one of 'em.
- I told you, I quit!
I'm not evil.
I'm fabulous!
I like crimes
with sparkles and laughter,
like making people sing all day
or like putting something
in the water supply
to make everyone pee rainbows.
- That was you?
- Hey, I thought something
was wrong with my toilet.
- I thought something was wrong
with my kidneys!
- Best week of my entire life.
- Stop reminiscing and
tell us where our friend is.
- Yeah, we gotta rescue him
before he builds
that evil device that's gonna
"fulfill the Prophecy."
- Schwoz would never do that.
- Tell us
where they're holding Schwoz,
or you are drinking
this entire ketchup smoothie!
- Oh, no,
please don't make me drink it.
Ketchup runs right through me.
- Come on, man.
Don't make us do you like this.
Just tell us what you know.
- I don't even know
where he's being held!
- Do it.
Get it in there.
- [spluttering]
I'll tell you what.
There's a Cell meeting tonight,
and, uh, if you teleport me
far away from these monsters,
I'll, uh--
I'll give you my uniform,
and I'll tell you the location.
- Deal.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- What, what, what, what, what?
- I am not making deals
with Frankini.
- Oh, come on!
One of us can pretend
to be Frankini
and maybe get some information
about where Schwoz is.
- I'll pack my bags.
- Do you have any idea what
this man has put me through?
- You're living in the past!
- I do not trust him!
- So?
- So...
we should at least take a vote.
- I'm a yes.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- I do what she does.
- Four to one.
We take the deal.
- Yeah, well,
my vote counts for five, so...
- Well,
if we're making up rules,
mine counts for ten, so...
- 20.
- 100.
- Eleventy billion.
- Dang it!
You got yourself a deal.
- [gasps]
Thank you.
But since one of you
will be impersonating me,
you'll all have
to audition for the role.
- Ugh.
- And I decide who books.
[alarm beeping]
- Oh, no! Um...
- Oh, no, that's--
Sure hope nobody's got
any relatives in Neighborville.
- Uh, ShoutOut, can you--
- Already on it.
And...now they're fireworks.
[fireworks popping]
all: Oh.
- Yay.
[laughs]
- [laughs]
- Ah!
all: No!
- Stop it!
[upbeat music]
- [nasally]
I'm not scared!
I'm petrified!
Scared is when they discontinue
your favorite concealer--
- Next!
- [unidentifiable accent]
I'm not evil!
I'm fabulous!
I like crimes with sparkles
and laughter, you know?
- Interesting choice.
Next.
- [dramatically]
You have no idea how--
- Next.
- I've also prepared a song.
- I said next.
- I've also prepared
a Shakespearean monologue.
- [scoffs] Haven't
I suffered enough today?
[moans]
- Who hates Shakespeare?
- [clears throat]
- Oh.
- [high-pitched voice]
The Prophecy is--
[normally]
Yeah. No, I'm not doing this.
- Ugh.
- No, not today.
I'm not getting cancelled
for this!
- Why did I think
that someone could capture
the magnificence that is moi?
Wait a second.
You there, broom boy!
- Oh, it's Broom-storm, sir.
- Well,
why didn't you audition?
- Aw, shucks. I've never been
much for doing impressions.
- [scoffs] Stormy-Broom,
this town can make you a star,
if you let it.
- But I've never imitated
a day in my life.
- Just try it with the mask on.
Now say,
"Scared is
when they discontinue
your favorite concealer!"
- [as Frankini] "Scared
is when they discontinue
your favorite concealer!"
- [gasps]
- How was that?
- Look at me.
- Sure.
- Look at me.
- Sure.
- You are Frankini now!
[sobbing]
[quirky music]
- Ugh.
- Everything you need
is on that card.
- Never been too good
at readin' fancy.
- Ah, with talent
like yours, kid,
someday other people will do
your fancy-reading for you!
- Can you imagine?
- Here's lookin' at you, Cap.
- Hmm? What--
Blech!
Ugh, that's a lot of glitter.
Bleh.
- Good luck
with those Cell savages.
One-way ticket
to Casablanca, please!
- [laughing]
- "Go to Hip Hop Purée
at00."
- [scoffs]
He could've just told us that.
He's so extra.
- So extra.
- No. No, no, no, no.
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
[dramatic music]
[indistinct chatter]
- Crazy thought, what if I
went in there without the mask?
- No!
- No, no!
No, no!
Put the mask on
and practice first
to make sure that your Frankini
impression is on point.
- [as Frankini]
Please don't make me drink it.
Ketchup runs right through me.
- All right, you're good to go.
We'll be watching you
the whole time.
- [normally]
Okay, I'm going in.
[indistinct chatter]
[everyone stops talking]
[as Frankini]
Hi, I'm Brainstorm!
[normally]
Uh, I-I mean, wait.
I--I'm Broomstorm.
No.
Ah, I-I-I mean...
[as Frankini]
I'm Frankini!
[normally] Guys, I think
Brainstorm made a boo-boo.
[as Frankini] I mean,
Frankini made a boo-boo!
- Okay, get out of there!
- [normally]
I still got this.
Mr. Frankini says I'm the most
talented imitator he had--
- Get him!
[all clamoring]
- Hey, guys, what's up?
- It's Brainstorm.
- Pssh, no, I'm not.
[shouting]
- [sighs] They're onto him.
We gotta get down there!
- Where's AWOL?
- He's still not back
from teleporting Frankini
to Casablanca!
- Relax.
- They're kidnapping
Brainstorm!
- Yeah, and while you children
were playing chess,
I was over here
playing checkers.
- What are you talking about?
- We don't need
to rush down there
because I put a tracker on him.
[grunts]
- You did?
- Yep.
- Dude, that was really smart.
- Yeah, I know.
Pretty smart guy.
- But you also used him
as bait,
so it's highly,
highly unethical!
- Unethical like a fox!
Listen, those animals are
stealing our boy, Brainstorm,
and taking him
to their secret hideout,
and I'll bet you
dollars to donuts
that's also
where they got Schwoz.
We wait for AWOL
to get back from Casablanca,
have him teleport us
to wherever Brainstorm ends up,
and bam, we take out
their entire operation.
Checkers mate!
- [laughing giddily]
both:
both:
- Wait, wait, those are
for the tracking device?
- Yeah, no, no, no.
I-I-I left Schwoz
a very nice note telling him
to put the batteries in there!
- "Schwoz, put these batteries
in this thing or you're fired"?
That's not nice.
- Oh, God,
he never saw the note
'cause he'd already
been Schwoz-napped!
- Great, so we have no way
of finding out
where Brainstorm went?
- Mm-mm.
both:
[all scream]
[all screaming]
- I can't believe that worked.
- What were we all
screaming about?
- The Cell
kidnapped Brainstorm.
- Captain Man
put a tracker on him!
- Yeah, but Schwoz forgot to
put batteries in the tracker,
so now we have no idea
where they are.
Way to go, Schwoz.
- Anybody else really worried
about Brainstorm right now?
- He's such
a delicate creature.
- They better be treating
our little baby Bose
like a little baby prince.
- Watch the hair!
Watch the hair!
- [grunts]
- Aah!
- You got a new roommate.
- Hey, Schwoz.
- 'Sup, Brainstorm?
- Tried to infiltrate The Cell.
Got kidnapped.
- You okay?
That guy yeeted you
pretty hard.
- Yeah.
I feel like I got something
in my ear, though.
- Huh.
[gasps] Holy pozole!
[tracker beeping]
Oh.
- Thank you.
That feels so much better.
What is that thing?
- It's a tracking device.
We're saved.
Captain Man and Danger Force
know where we are.
- We don't know where they are!
- Please stop yelling at me.
I am not the one who forgot
to put batteries
in the tracking device.
- Did somebody say
"put the batteries
in the tracking device"?
Because I already did.
- You did?
- What?
- So what are these batteries?
- Those are
the cheap factory ones
that came
with the tracker, sir.
I put fresh American batteries
in it.
[chanting] USA.
all: USA! USA!
USA! USA!
- Okay, everyone hop
on the AWOL Express.
Let's go get our boys.
- I'm gonna punch
these guys so hard,
they're gonna be sneezing
out of their butts.
- What does that even mean?
- It means exactly
what I just said, Volt.
I mean, if you maybe just
open your ears and listen...
- No, no, no, no.
- You might learn something.
- That's
not medically possible.
- Oh, you know
about these kind of things?
Oh, Volt's a doctor, everybody.
- I'm not a d--I know--
- [laughs]
Forgot to check where he is.
- The butt
and the gut are connected!
[overlapping chatter]
- You have no idea
of the impending doom
that's about to descend
on this place.
I hope you have enough tissues
for all the sneezes
you're going to be farting
when my g*ng punches you.
- [chuckling]
[laughter]
[laughter intensifies]
Nice.
That's not even
medically possible.
Plus,
no one is coming to save you.
And even if they were,
you've already built
my evil device for me.
- And I helped.
- I refuse to believe
you can punch someone
and make them sneeze
from their butt.
- Listen and learn, kiddo.
Gah!
- Oof!
[sneezes] Oh!
- Told ya.
- Let me try.
- [burps]
- You hit the burp spot.
Try a little to the left.
- Ah!
- [sneezes]
- [shrieks]
[grunts]
- Ugh!
[all grunting]
[epic music]
- [shrieks]
- Now this is
what I signed up for!
I'm gonna bring
this whole operation down.
I'll be right back.
- Volt, wait!
[both growling]
- Yeah, yeah,
how do you like me now?
- [sneezing]
- I'm standing like a man.
You're sneezing out your butt.
- Easy, easy.
All right.
He knows, he knows.
- Let me at him!
- All right.
He knows, he knows.
You've made your point.
- Ay.
- Now reel it in.
Go on.
- Uh, we gotta go!
- I-I thought you were gonna--
- I was going to.
But there's, like,
a hundred of them out there.
- Grab the cave drawing!
- Oh, oh, oh!
- Everybody,
touch various parts of my body!
[shouting]
- Hurry up!
- Quick, quick, quick, quick!
- All right!
- Volt!
[all groan]
We've reached
our final destination.
Thank you for flying Air AWOL.
[laughter and chatter]
- [squeals]
- Good to see you, man.
- Aw, we missed you
so much, Schwoz.
- Aw, I missed you too.
I knew you guys
would come rescue me.
Didn't think
it would take two weeks.
- Yeah, that's our bad.
- Yeah, Schwoz, I'm so sorry.
- Well, maybe if you put
the batteries in the device--
- We had this salsa dance--
[overlapping chatter]
- Eh, but you still came!
- Yeah, we did.
[overlapping chatter]
- They better not have
been mean to you guys.
- Ah, other than getting yeeted
against that wall,
it wasn't that bad.
Plus, they let us build stuff.
- You really built them
some evil device?
- Oh, yeah.
I built it real nice.
[laughing]
[laughter intensifies]
[dramatic music]
- We have the beacon.
He is coming.
all: Truly, He is coming.
- Long live The Cell.
all: Long live The Cell.
- [laughing]
[laughter]
Stop!
How do you turn this thing on?
Oh, here it is.
[device whirring]
Ooh.
[expl*si*n]
- [laughing]
Yeah, I built a b*mb.
- Ah.
- Anyway, I've got
two weeks of food over there
to get to, so...
- Dut, dut, dut, dut, dut!
Not till you fix the Wi-Fi.
- Oh, yeah.
- Sure. No problem.
[device hums]
- [squeals]
- Oh, yes!
- Schwoz fixed it!
[all cheering]
- So many websites,
so little time.
[laughter]
[monster growling]
- Aah!
[all screaming]
- Aw, it's good to be home.
[vocalizing]
03x07 - Hey, Where's Schwoz?
Watch/Buy Amazon
Series is a spinoff of Henry Danger and follows four new superheroes-in-training, to attend Swellview Academy for the Gifted.
Series is a spinoff of Henry Danger and follows four new superheroes-in-training, to attend Swellview Academy for the Gifted.