03x08 - Dumber Force

[bunniefuu]

I think someone is stealing
all of the moms in Swellview.

- We are running out of time.

If you can't hack into
the Man's Nest,

the entire plan will fail.

[crashing]

[all shouting]

- Now!

- This was a setback.
He is coming.

all: Long live The Cell.

- What's wrong with you?

- I'm in love with Credenza.

- Did you flush out any
information about her son?

- Goodbye, Danger Force.

Enjoy Captain Man's funeral.

- [groans]
- Captain Man is Ray,

your mom's new boyfriend.
- Dude!

- And Lil' Dynomite is
Credenza's son, Buddy Fudgers.

- So you find me any hot rocks
in the Man's Nest diamond mine?

- I found something you could
take a look at.

It's some kind of cave drawing.

- The prophecy was right.
He is coming.

- When's the last time anybody
had eyes on Schwoz?

- You will spend your days
building this.

- Ooh, fun! An evil device.

I built it real nice.

[device powering up]

[upbeat music]
[all cheering]

- Yay, Schwoz!
- Ha, yes!

Are we sure
we defeated The Cell, though?

- We're sure Schwoz did.

Yeah!
- Yes, yes, thank you.

I am Schwoz,
defeater of The Cell.

- Yeah, you are.
[all cheering]

- Yes, but just 'cause
we made a banner

and put Schwoz in
the dancing chair,

that doesn't mean
we defeated The Cell!

- That's exactly what it means.
[all agreeing]

- If you don't celebrate
your victories,

they don't count.
- That's right. They don't.

- Pretty sure Schwoz caught
a couple of bodies on that one.

[laughs]
[music stops]

For legal reasons, I'd like to
clarify that was a joke.

- And relax, Mika.

What, you really think those
stupid Cells are

dusting themselves off, going,

"Ooh, we gon' get them there
Danger Forces!

Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!"
[all groaning]

- "We gon' get them there
Danger Forces!

Pew, pew, pew, pew" is how
Captain Man is probably

making fun of us right now.

- Yeah, sounds just like him.

- Does this go in the recycling
or do we just, uh--

- It doesn't matter.

It all ends up in
Lake Swellview.

[clattering]
- Uh, false.

I have an extensive sorting
process.

- Number 24601,

you are literally dumping
everything into

the same container.

- Also false-o.

Hey, while I gotcha here--

[all stammering]
- Inappropriate!

- Can we talk about maybe
giving me a lower number?

- Put your mask back on, Jeff.
We're supposed to be anonymous.

- Can you believe this guy?

- You're lucky we let you into
The Cell.

Now put your mask back on
and clean up this mess.

- Hold on a sec.

My morning started with
an everything burrito

and she's kind of backing up
on me.

[belches loudly]

[all groaning]
- Ugh, barf!

- What is that, methane?
- All clear.

- Why did we let him in again?

- His brother Mitch is both
rich and has a TV show.

We might need him someday.

- In fact, we know Danger Force
lives in Swellview.

So they must attend Swellview
Junior High.

- Hmm. Number 24601.

- That's--that's me, right?
- This guy.

- Let's talk about getting you
a lower number.

- [laughs]
Yeah!

[upbeat music]

And that's why
I think that you should buy

Swellview Junior High.
That's all I have to say.

- Well, that's all you said.

You came in here,
ruined my show,

kicked Tribbie in the shin,

burped up
an everything burrito,

said 17 words and then
you just stopped.

- Stop criticizing me!
You're just like Mom!

- I'm working through it!

Why would I want to buy
Swellview Junior High?

- 'Cause you hated school.

Think about all the kids out
there just like you were:

bored, lazy, forced to learn.
- [shudders]

- You never learned anything

and you're the richest guy
in Swellview.

Buy that school, Mitch.

[voice breaking]
Save those kids.

- I'll do it.

For the kids.
- For the kids. [sniffles]

- Hey, dude, are you crying?
- No!

- Ugh, you're just like Dad.

- I know and
I'm working through it!

[clattering]

- I just bought your school!

[students cheering]
- Money!

- I'm confused.

- Me too.

- I'm always confused.

- I'ma get money first.

Then I'll be confused.

students:
Mitch, Mitch, Mitch, Mitch!

- You're welcome!
[students continue chanting]

- It all just
kind of happened.

[overlapping chatter]

You get that?

[vocalizing]

- We look amazing.

- You've been posing for hours.

[all shouting at once]

- That's right,
keep walking, Schwoz.

Keep walking.

- I don't care
who owns this school,

I have a perfect GPA and
I'm going to keep it that way.

- The entire concept of
ownership is

an unnatural construct forced
on us by colonizers who--

- All right, everybody,
stop thinking.

- Not a problem.

- [sniffing]

Is that reading I smell?

Gross!
- [gasps]

- Now, I don't know

what we were supposed to do
in class today--

- Uh, take a test on
the Battle of Bunker--

- [makes fart noise]

[laughter]

- We were all thinking it.

- Hey! What'd I just say
about thinking?

- Ooh, ooh! You, uh, said,
"Okay, everybody,

stop thinking."
Then you smacked my book

and made a fart sound
like this.

[makes fart noise]
- Yeah, very good!

That was an
A+ Stinky Supreme Deluxe.

- [squeals] I've never gotten
one of those before.

- Well, that's 'cause
you've never been to

Mitch School before.
- What is Mitch School?

- Well, why show ya
when I can...

show ya!
[chuckles]

All right, now, who is
the dumbest kid in class?

- Oh, me, me!
It's me.

- Ooh, well, congratulations,
you big dummy.

You just graduated.
- Really?

- Yeah, you did!
Now get out of here.

Go take on the world and
get yourself a J-U-B.

["Pomp and Circumstance"
playing]

- Bose is absolutely
not ready to graduate.

- You know,
that is exactly what

the "teachers" told me
for nine years.

- You went to this school for
nine years?

- Yeah. [grunts]

It was the worst ten years
of my life.

Which is why I bought
the school,

so you little puppers don't
have to suffer like me.

- That's a surprisingly
empathetic response.

- "Empathetic"?

There will be no fancy-brain
words here at Mitch School.

And from now on, the wrong
answers are the right answers.

Pop quiz, hot sh*t.

What's two plus two?

- Uh, doody poopy fart noise?

- Yeah, it is!

All right!
Here at Mitch School,

every time someone gives
the wrong answer,

chicken nuggies will rain down
from the sky.

all: Nuggies!

- There will be brightly
colored soda in

the water fountain
and the toilets.

Shoes are optional,

but flip-flops are
highly recommended.

- Nuggie fight!

[students laughing]

- It's only been one day and
the smartest kid in class

is already giving in
to the Mitch way.

- In two weeks, Danger Force
will be too dumb to fight

even the simplest of crimes.
[laughs]

- Dumber than cavemen.
[laughs] Up top.

- Sorry, Grog.
I didn't see you there.

- Shouldn't matter, man.

- Instead of insulting Grog
and his people,

maybe you should be busy
preparing for your test crime

at KLVY.
- Yeah, about that.

I've got traffic court
later today so--

- Shut up and get back to work,
Jeff.

- Hey, Grog, just so you know,

one of my friends growing up
was a caveman.

- [grumbling angrily]

- Doohickey.
- Doohickey, chef!

- Thing-a-ma-bob.
- Thing-a-ma-bob, chef!

- Schnoozle stumps.
- Schnoozle stumps, chef.

Man, I don't get why
I gotta say "chef"

every time I had you something.
- It's a sign of respect,

which you owe me for leaving me
in that Cell cave

for two weeks!
- Yeah, but--

- I ate my own boogers
to survive

just so I could steal
these blueprints.

So help me build it!

- Bose said they had
a meal service in there.

- Yeah, but everything
had cilantro in it

and I'm a super taster.
- Super taster.

Right, yeah, no, boogers were
your only option, sure.

Why we even building
this thing?

- Because I want to find out
what they were up to.

- They're not up to anything!

They're stupid
and probably ugly.

Unlike me, right, Schwoz?
Come on, man.

It's been like 10 minutes since
somebody gave me a compliment.

- [deep voice] Hey!

Mika home.

School good.

- You sound different.
- Mm.

- Uh...
- Uh, okay.

- Ah, no meat this bone!

- All right, yeah.

Um, where's everybody else?

- [high-pitched voice]
Behind you.

- [chuckles in stuffy voice]
You said "behind."

- [giggles] Behind.

- "Behind" does also
mean "butt"

but why are you all acting
so strange?

- [chuckles]
You said "butt-butt."

[chuckles]
[beeping]

[tube whooshes]

- Sorry I'm late.

My assistant messed up
my calendar and I went to

the wrong restaurant
for my lunch meeting.

- What in the holy name of
Tom Selleck's mustache

is going on around here?

- Did you not hear?
I--I graduated.

- Oh, mazel tov.
- No, I did not.

- Yeah, already got a job.

Six figures,
benefits out the wazoo.

Don't see my family much
anymore--

- Wazoo! Wazoo!
- [chuckling]

[alarm blaring]
- [grunts]

- All right,
that's an emergency call

so we're gonna have to unpack
whatever this is later.

- Heh, "unpack."
[giggles]

- Oh, my god. Let's just chew
this thing and do this thing.

- You said "do."

- What is the joke here, guys?

'Cause I'd really like to be
part of this bit,

but honestly, I don't get it.
[gumballs clattering]

- [giggles]
- Hey, Chapa.

Gumballs.
[both laughing]

Hey, Ray.

I just hit you with
my gumballs.

[laughter]
- [grunting]

- This just in:
we're being robbed.

- By a man with a cactus.

- Stop news-ing and give me
all your cash.

- Do you accept credit cards?
- [winces]

- Of course I do.
I'm a modern criminal.

It's just gonna ask you
one final question there.

- Is this screen asking me to
tip you?

- Well, whatever you think
is fair.

[card reader beeps]

- Coming at you live,
it's the fabulous fi--

where are the other three?
[banging on door]

- I think they're confused
by the door?

- Uh, pull it.
- No, push.

- You gotta jiggle it.
- She said "jiggle."

- Looks like
several members of Danger Force

are having trouble getting
through a simple door.

- Come here.

- I am Doorholio!

- You guys are late.
We already got him.

- Oh, no.

So he, like, got you?
- What?

- Looks like a classic
miscommunication here.

- Hopefully this gets
cleared up soon.

- I'll save you.

- Ah!

- [chuckling]
- [groans]

[laughter]

- Whoa!

- Slight misfire there.

- Let's see how they recover.

- Please stop helping.

- ShoutOut help!

[clattering]
- Oh!

- Thanks again for
your generosity.

- Ow!

- Ouch!
- Ah!

- Ow!

- Ouch!
- Ah!

- Ow!
- Ouch!

- Ah!
- The plan is working.

- Danger Force is too
dim-witted to fight crime.

[all laughing]

- [panting]

Mm, mm.

Did you guys see me
on the news?

Did I look cute?

all: Shut up, Jeff!

- Would a "good job, Jeff"
k*ll ya?

I mean, who raised you guys,
cavemen?

[all gasp]

- [gasps] Grog!
- [wailing]

- When I say "cavemen,"
I don't mean you!

- Jeff, come on, man!
- Now, Jeff.

You know better than this!
- He tries really hard.

- Oh, my god.
Just stop catching it.

- Something is very wrong
with Danger Force.

- Yeah, very wrong.

[crashing]
- Ah!

Oh, right on my head!

[rock music]

- Good morning,
my little Mitchies.

Who's ready for another day
of Mitch School?

Hold up, Frandon.

There are no books allowed in
Mitch School.

- This book is good book.
Kid Rock write book.

- Ah, it's his
"auto-ba-wit-da-bah-ography."

There is a bowl of beef jerky
on my desk

with your name on it.
Go knock yourself out.

- Yeah, beef!

- After school,
we get snack nuts?

- Sorry, champ.
I have a late meeting.

Hey, Mitch, can I get in
your ear for a second?

- Well, well, well,
if it isn't the graduate.

A-what is up, a-my dude?

- My company's stock
since I joined.

[both laugh]

But that's not the point.

I've noticed that my friends
are getting a lot...

dumber.

- Dumpster.

- I am Dumpholio.
- [chuckles]

- [crunching]
These snack nuts too hard.

- See?

- She's eating rocks.

What's the problem?
That's hilarious.

- Sure, that's hilarious,
but Mika used to be so smart.

She was in Mensa.
- [grunts loudly]

- Sorry, "wo-Mensa."
- [grunts]

- You got a problem with how
I'm running Mitch School?

- I thought I made that
pretty clear.

- Hey, kids.

Suit here--

that's your new nickname,
by the way, Suit--

Suit here's got a problem with
how I'm running Mitch School.

[students grunting]
- Sticks and stones.

Those could break my bones.

[screams]
- [laughs]

Yeah, you better run!

Nobody's shutting down
Mitch School.

High five.

- What mean "high five"?

- Wow, you kids are getting
scary dumb.

- [grunts]
- Kay.

- High five.
- All right.

Careful of the rock.

- And then they had
sticks and stones.

- Those could break your bones!

- Hey, light.

Wait a minute.
So Mitch Bilsky

bought your school
and now ShoutOut,

Volt, and AWOL are too dumb
to fight crime?

- He made all the kids
so stupid that

I'm now the smartest kid
in Swellview.

- My god.
- Ay!

- We should pop gumballs
and think about this.

- [snaps] Good idea.
Let's chew and stew.

[dramatic music]

[bubbles pop]

- Ooh, whoo!

- And now, simply to stew.

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

- Hmm?
- Ah?

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

- Oh, my god!

Here's what you should do.
Ugh!

When kids don't use
their brains for

an extended period of time,

their neural pathways
start to degrade.

- Pfft, yeah.
Everybody knows that.

- Then how come you
didn't say it?

- I didn't want to interrupt,
duh.

This guy.

- The only way to restart
their brains is

to punch some sense into them.
- [mumbling]

Yeah, no, I was gonna say that.

- Okay, smarty pants.

What tool do you need to use to

punch some sense into
their tiny, empty heads?

Hm?

- Bose, take it.

- Uh-- those boxing gloves
you just pulled out of--

- Gloves you just pulled out of
the cabinet.

No, I was gonna say that too.
- That's right.

- I am on fire today--
- Fire today! Yeah, me too!

- These Brain Boppers are
loaded with a smart serum.

When they impact
a child's head,

the serum will repair
the neural pathways

and make them smartsies again.

- I'm not really in
the business of

punching kids, Schwoz.

- Oh, these things
won't hurt them.

And it'll look funny.

- Oh, yeah, if it's funny
I'll totally do it.

- Ha!

- Let's be sure to punch Mika,
Miles, and Chapa first--

- [mumbling]
And they can help us!

Yeah, guys, I love you
but I really wish

you'd stop talking over me.

[fire crackling]

- [giggling]
- [chuckling]

- Snack nuts!

[dramatic music]

- Ding-dong.

- Huh?
- [chuckles] He said "dong."

[groans]

- Schwoz was right.
That was funny.

- Yeah.

- What are you guys doing here?

- Ugh, and why do
my teeth hurt?

- You've been eating rocks,
darlin'.

- That was a poor decision on
my part.

- Looks like these gloves work.

- What happened to the school?

- Mitch Bilsky happened.

Now, here, put on
these Brain Boppers,

blow a bubble,

and let's go punch some kids.

- [grunts]
- [gasps]

- Not him.
- No!

- Keep it elevated.
- Okay, um--

- Can you get him some ice?
What's the matter with you?

- Just remember:

pinch the sides to and fro,

roll it up,

bur-ri-to!

Wow, this tire smoke's really
messing you kids up, huh?

- Yeah, well get ready for
this smoke.

- Hey,
that's the teachers' lounge.

- Well, we're about to teach
you a lesson.

- Ah! My skin!

- Fire jump!

[dramatic rock music]

Sorry about that.
Had to be done.

- Sorry we had to Brain Bop
you guys.

- But you had all been Mitch'd.

- You okay, Frandon?
- I think so.

- What does E equal?
- MC squared?

- [sighs] He's right.

It's the theory of relativity.
- Rela-menela--correct.

What she said.
But also what I said, so.

Both answers are acceptable.
- Okay.

You should all go home
and get some sleep.

Come back tomorrow
ready to learn.

- Come on, guys.

My mom's got
the biggest minivan in town.

- Ooh.

[students chanting]
Frandon's mom! Frandon's mom!

Frandon's mom!

- Frandon's mom! Frandon's mom!

- Frandon's mom is married.
- Mm, challenge accepted.

- Wait! Learning is boring!

Mitch School rules! Come back!

- Sorry, Mitch,
but we're taking you to jail.

[all talking at once]

- No, you're not.

Ain't no law about buying
schools and making kids dumb.

- Ah, jeez, he's right!

- The law fails us once again.

- Yeah, and plus, I'm rich.

Yeah, rich people
don't go to jail.

They just go to Dubai!

[phone beeps]

- Man, what's it like
to be rich?

- It's pretty great.

But Schwoz says we gotta
go back to the Man's Nest.

He's almost done building
that evil device

from the blueprints
he swiped off The Cell.

- Why is he building
their evil device?

- I don't know.
You know Schwoz.

You know, you put something
science-y in front of him,

that big ol' brain's just
gonna science it right up.

- They're going to build it
for us.

[evil laughter]

- What a bunch of
beaver brains.

Total cavemen, am I right?

[laughter stops]

Grog's right behind me,
isn't he?

- No.
He's right in front of you.

- Ah!
- [growling]

- Dude, Grog, I--I--
I didn't mean it like that.

- [neck cracking]
- I--I--I swear.

- [growling]
- Ah! My body parts!

[crashing]

- And done.

- What is it?

- There's only one way to
find out.

[switch clicks]

[device powering up]

[bell dings]

[apprehensive music]

- It's a pancake.

- Common misconception.

This is actually a flapjack.

- Why would The Cell go through
all that trouble

just to build a machine
that makes pancakes?

together: Flapjacks.

- I don't know.

- It looks like these
blueprints are incomplete.

- What?
- Yeah, they just end.

I bet there's a second page
somewhere.

- Maybe I left the second page
back with The Cell.

- You find that second page,

I'll bet this device gets
a lot more evil.

- [gasps]

Guys, I just realized...
this is no flapjack.

- [gasps]

[ominous music]

- It is a pancake.

- You scared me!

[all shouting]

[vocalizing]