03x10 - Bose's Birthday Party

[bunniefuu]

- I don't exactly run

a tight ship around here.

- You're currently
making us mine

heart-shaped diamonds
for your girlfriend.

I'm worried about my stepdad.
Without my mom, he a mess.

- I'm the vice mayor, not the
function-without-my-wife mayor.

- God help us all.

- She lost the Front of School
Golden Mic Riff-Off.

- To Sissy Kranz!

- She wants a rematch.

- Loser goes first.

- [sustained high-pitched note]

[glass shatters]
- Oh!

- Oh, my God, I did it!

[rock music]

Miles, how we doin'
on balloons?

- Uh, wassup?

- Have you been inflating
one balloon this whole time?

- Sorry, my phone's
kind of blowing up over here.

- So is that balloon.

[balloon pops]

Told ya.

- [sighs] Sorry.

Miles Macklin is trying
to get Sissy Kranz

to come to Bose's
surprise party with him,

but AWOL's got tons of girls
sliding into his DMs

ever since I posed
for the cover

of "Cat Holder" magazine.

- You're on the cover
of "Cat Holder" magazine?

- You're trying to get a date
with Sissy Kranz?

- Yes and yeah-yeah!

- I gotta see this.

- Sissy Kranz
is my mortal enemy!

- Yeah, but she cute.

And after you humiliated her
in that riff-off,

she went to therapy,
made amends.

My girl done turned a leaf.

- I'll believe it
when I see it.

- Oh, my God, that's adorable!

- I guess girls like guys
who hold cats.

But now I can't text Sissy back

'cause my phone is
literally blowing up.

- That picture of you
holding a cat is so cute.

Why did I just send AWOL a DM?

- [shouts] Sissy Kranz?

- Yeah-yeah!

- Why are Captain Man's DMs
being flooded

by a bunch of random girls
who wanna go out with AWOL?

- He posed for "Cat Holder."

- Ah, that'll do it.
[chuckles]

I remember the first time
I posed for "Cat Holder."

Yeah, I got a lot of messages
from the ladies.

- Mm, like via telegram?

- All right.
- Morse code?

- Take it easy.
- Pony Express.

- How old
do you guys think I am?

- 382.
- Like, 120.

- 200.
- Don't answer that.

So what do you got here?
Uh, like, a banner

for Bose's surprise
birthday party?

- How did you know?

- I'm wise beyond my years.

all: Which are many.
- Which are few!

- Anyway, Buddy Fudgers said

we could have the party
at his house.

- What if Bose walks in,
sees the sign,

and ruins the surprise?

- It's Bose, man.
- The guy could literally

read this literal sign

and literally
never figure it out.

- Plus, I think he's forgotten
when his birthday even is.

both: Mm.
- Come on,

how could you forget
your own birthday?

- Legend has it his mom married
the vice mayor on a whim.

- On his birthday.
- So that's when they always

celebrate their anniversary.
- On his birthday.

- So he never got
to have a party...

all: On his birthday.

- After a couple years,
poor kid just forgot.

- Well, that's just about the
saddest thing I've ever heard.

Even sadder,
I will not be attending.

- But--
[overlapping chatter]

- Legend has it
Credenza and I will be

spending the weekend at...
The Wicker Inn.

- The Wicker Inn?

- That's right.
- That new hotel

that's made up entirely
out of dried wood

and has been twisted
and/or woven together?

- [snaps fingers]
The same.

- That's only lit by candles?

- Light 'em up!
- And famously doesn't have

any sprinkler systems nor
fire extinguishers of any kind?

- Sounds romantic, right?

- Sounds like that place
is going to burn.

- To the ground.
- Absolutely.

- It's not gonna burn.

- We'll see you tomorrow.
- It's gonna be in two days...

- I don't care.
- 'Cause I'm gonna be there

all weekend, okay?
- Assuming you survive

the fire.
- I'm indestructible,

and there's not
gonna be a fire.

- [laughing] Okay.

See you tomorrow, sport.

- [splutters]

- Miles, you gotta warn me

if you're gonna pose
for "Cat Holder" magazine.

- Right? AWOL just got
another DM from me.

Please ignore it.

- No, dude,
my stepsister is, like,

obsessed with you now.

- Wait, you got a stepsister?

- Poopsie.
- Have you not met Poopsie?

- That's not a real name.

- Nah, man.
Poopsie's real.

- All too real.

- Yeah, Poopsie's a handful.

She might even be worse
than Sissy Kranz.

- Hey, I heard
Sissy Kranz turned into a leaf.

- It's "turned a leaf,"

and there is no way
Sissy Kranz has turned a leaf!

- Wait, wait, wait, why--
why am I only just now

hearing about this Poopsie?

- He's told you before.
- No, you haven't.

- I told you seven times
yesterday--

at breakfast, brunch, lunch,

lupper, supper,
sinner, and dinner.

My stepsister, Poopsie--

- Ah, I spilled.

- Poopsie--

- D'ah, my shirt.

- Poopsie--

- Ah, oopsie.

- [sighs]
Poopsie--

- Ah, for the love of...

- Poopsie--

- Uh, one moment.

Ugh.

- Poopsie--
- [slurps]

Oh, come on!

Man, what is wrong with me?

- Poopsie?

- How'd it get on my back?

Ah.

Little rascal.
[chuckles]

Sorry, Bose,
what were you saying?

- Nothin'.

Hey, cool sign.
Who's it for?

- Different Bose.
- Makes sense--

common name.

- Man, I don't know
how that kid makes it

through the day alive.

Anyway, I better get going

if Credenza and I wanna see

The Wicker Inn's daily
midafternoon indoor amateur

fireworks show.

- See you tomorrow.

- Uh, two days.
all: We'll save you some cake.

- Uh, I won't eat it,
'cause I won't be there.

- Raymond.
- Schwoz-mond.

- I'm ready
for Bose's birthday ball.

- No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

You can't go to Bose's ball

until you find me
a heart-shaped diamond.

- Are you kidding me?
- Ray, that's so uncool!

- You guys, things are
getting real serious

with me and Credenza.

I mean, if we make it
through this weekend--

- Alive?

- Without getting into a fight,

I was thinking about
popping the question.

- "Which way are
the fire exits?"

[laughter]
- [mocking] Oh, good one, Mika.

The marriage question.
[all gasp]

And you promised me you'd
find me a heart-shaped diamond!

And you know what they say
in your country.

- Yeah...
both: A promise comes

before a ball,

even though they are admittedly

more fun than mining
for heart-shaped diamonds.

- Yeah, but I repurposed
The Cell's evil device

as a party light.
See?

[electronic dance music
playing]

- Ooh!
Hey!

- Yeah.
- Okay, Schwoz, get it!

- Get 'em, get 'em!
both: Ohh.

- Once you have found me
a heart-shaped diamond,

then you may go to the ball,
Schwozerella.

- Why do you guys keep
calling Bose's party a ball?

- That's how old people
say "party."

- [gasps]
I shall take my leave.

- That's how old people
say "goodbye."

- [mocking] Oh, good one, Mika!

- Bye!

[heroic music]

Chapa?
- Yeah.

- Why are you wearing
a clown mask?

- I lost a bet.

- To who?

- To Blayne Kirkpatrick!

It's a good look for you,
Chapa.

- Okay, no, he's not worth it.

[grunts]
No.

- All right, banner's all set.

Hey, uh, whose party
is this anyway?

all: Surprise!

- It's your party, dude!

- I'm the Bose from the banner?

- Yes!
It's your birthday.

- It's my birthday?

all: Surprise!

[upbeat music playing]

- I feel like
your sister doesn't like me.

- She didn't at first,

but she turned a leaf.

- Mm, doesn't look like it.

[air horn honking]
- Sissy once got a B-minus!

- Different Sissy.

[air horn honking]
- Sissy Kranz is the one

I'm talking about--

the one who got
a B-minus one time!

Again, it was Sissy Kranz!

- Common name.

Buddy!
[laughs]

Super chill of you to let us

use your house
for Bose's party.

- Of course.

Just wish everyone was
a little more careful

about where they're throwing
their sunflower seed shells.

Blayne, why do you have
to look at me right in the eye

when you're
disrespecting my home?

- To establish dominance.

- And your mom's cool
with all this?

- Oh, not at all.

But she's out of town,

and I told her
I'm staying with my dad,

and I told my dad that
my mom decided to stay home.

- Oh, sneaky, bro.

That's not like you.

[air horn honking]
- It was my idea!

- Y'all got some
very specific drops tonight.

[air horn honking]
- Yes, we do!

Thank you, Miles!

- [sighs]
Hey, you know,

I've been meaning to ask--

who is your dad?

- Oh, he's...

- All right,
who's in charge here?

- Ah, cheese,
it's the government.

We're busted.

I'll never lie again!

Please don't call my mom!

- Relax, kid.
How you party,

that's between you, your mom,
and your god.

- Hey, you guys here
for my party?

- Ah, Poopsie is.

Your mom and I got
anniversary tickets

to the fireworks show
at The Wicker Inn.

- But Daddy, I wanna watch
the hotel burn down!

- It's not gonna burn down!

You just stay here and party
with your stepbrother.

- I don't want to!

I mean,
maybe if AWOL were here.

- Ah. Yeah, I'll give him
a call, sweetie.

All right, quiet, everybody.

I'm calling AWOL's cell phone.

- [groans]

[cell phone buzzing]

[AWOL zaps]

- AWOL, I'm the vice mayor,

not the nice mayor,
so I need you

to get your mask over
to Buddy Fudgers' house

and entertain my daughter,
Poopsie,

or I'm gonna shut
this whole party down.

- You can't shut down
Bose's party.

Poor guy never gets
to have one.

- Not sure
how you know about that,

but I don't really care.

You know what I do care about?

You being right here,

right now.

- Well, I'm pretty far away,

so it might take me
a couple hours to get there.

- I know you can teleport.

You've got five seconds.

One...

[rapidly]
Two, three, four, five.

- Here's AWOL!

- AWOL!

- [groans]

- You're way better
than this magazine cover

I definitely didn't kiss a lot.

- She's been smooching the pulp
off that cover all week.

Good luck, soldier.

Hey, where can I toss
these sunflower shells?

- On the ground!

- Seriously, Blayne?

[shells rattle]

Thank you, Chapa.

[music resumes]

- Miles?

Miles?

Has anyone seen Miles?

[air horn honking]
- You've got yourself

in quite a pickle!

- Very specific drops.

- It all just
kind of happened.

[overlapping chatter]

You get that?

[vocalizing]

- We look amazing.

- You've been posing for hours.

[all shouting at once]

- That's right,
keep walking, Schwoz.

Keep walking.

[dance music playing]

- It's my birthday!

[all cheering]

- Bose, you are shockingly good
at furniture surfing.

- [laughs awkwardly]
Wish he weren't doing it

on my mom's new coffee table.

- Come on. Bose never
gets a birthday party.

Let him have a little fun.

- Get pitted!
[shells rattle]

all: Yeah!

- I am never going
to let you go.

- Well, that's technically
kidnapping, so...

- Well, my dad's
the vice mayor, so...

- Well, how about...
[grunts]

I find some cats to hold

and we recreate
my magazine cover?

- Well, fine, but for every
minute that you're gone,

I'm going to break something.

- Well, that's
destruction of property,

which is also a crime, Poopsie.

- [giggles]

[vase shatters]

- [sighs] I think
your brother ghosted me.

- It was probably
something you did.

You should go.

- There you are.

I've been looking for you.
- I've been looking for you.

- We have so much in common.

- [gags]

- One minute!
[glass shatters]

- Hey, if anyone sees AWOL,

would you tell him to please
come back to the party?

- Ha ha, oh, I heard he was
out wrangling some cats.

So he might not be back
for a while.

[ceramic shatters]

There's no way
that was a minute, Poopsie!

- I don't even know
who you are!

- Uh, hey, can you please
tell your stepsister

to stop breaking things?

- I can try.
Hey, Poopsie!

Can you stop?
- No!

[ceramic shatters]

She is a handful.
[chuckles]

[shells rattle]

- You got a big problem,
my friend.

[shells rattle]

[heroic music]

- [crying]

I'll never find
a heart-shaped diamond

in time for the ball.

All I found are these
slipper-shaped diamonds.

Ah, boo-hoo-hoo!

- [squeaks]

- A-boo-hoo-who was that?

- [squeaking]

- Is that a heart-shaped
diamond?

- Is it for me?

- [gasps softly]

Have I been breathing
naturally-occurring

diamond mine funny gas
for too long?

[music playing softly]

- No way, dude.
Is it your birthday too?

- Nope.
[shells rattle]

- Then why are you staring
at me like that?

- To establish dominance.

- Mission accomplished,
Blayne Kirkpatrick.

- [shouting] Where...

[glass shatters]

Is...
[glass shatters]

AWOL?
[glass shatters]

- [sighs]
- I want your sister

to like me.
Did you tell her

I turned a leaf?
- Yes.

- Hey, uh, Miles,
can I holler at you

for a second over there?
- Dude--

- Wait, no.

You're not gonna
leave me again, are you?

- No, it's just
a quick lil' holler.

- Dude, Poopsie's gonna
break everything in my house.

- Yeah.
Poopsie's a handful.

- And AWOL needs to be here
to a-handle her.

- [sighs]
Fine.

But somebody needs to entertain
Sissy while Miles is gone.

- All right, well, I guess
I could entertain a lady--

- Oh, Mika!
- Okay.

- Hey, uh, let me holler
at you for a second.

- Aye!

- I need you to entertain Sissy
for two minutes.

- No!

- Six minutes!

No AWOL, no cats!

Ha!

- Aw, man,
I was born on that table.

- I really like Sissy,
and you could too.

I bet you two could have
a genuine moment

before this party's over.

Please?

- Ugh, okay.

- Yeah-yeah!
- But I am not

gonna have
a genuine moment with her,

because I do not like
that girl and--

hey!

Sissy!

Can I holler at you
for a second?

[AWOL zaps]

- No.
Please, not my mother's

Daytime Blimpie award.

- [sighs]
Guess who's back!

- My love has returned to me!

Where are the cats?

- BRB.

[heroic music]

- Ay!

[fabric rips]

Aw.

A-boo-hoo-hoo.

Boo-hoo-hoo.

Now I have nothing
to wear to the ball.

- [squeaks]

- [gasps]

Mouse friend, will you sew me

a new set of clothes
for the ball?

- Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you.

Does this mean
we're best friends now?

- Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Too soon. Too soon.

- [grunts]
[raccoon chittering]

Ha ha, guess who's back?

- You said
you were getting cats.

That's a raccoon!

- Think of it as a trash kitty.

[grunting] Ow, ah!

- Uh, people, we got a problem.

Lil' Bobby Newser
is reporting live

from The Wicker Inn.

- I stand here
be-singed and be-sooted

amidst the wreckage
of the once-proud Wicker Inn.

Folks--
[coughs]

I wouldn't be doing my job
if I didn't ask,

but did you really
notsee this coming?

- Uh, uh, no.

- No, we did not.

- It's a hotel made of wicker

with a fireworks show.

- Yeah, I know.

We are just as surprised
as you, Lil' Bobby.

- Well, Traffique says it's
gonna take us 30 minutes

to get home, so we should go.

all: 30 minutes?

- I know a shortcut
through a shopping mall.

We'll be there in 27.

- God, I love you.
- [chuckles]

Make it 26.

all: 26 minutes?

- So if anyone out there threw
a party for a friend

while their parents were
at The Wicker Inn,

you have 26--no...



to clean up!

all: 25 minutes?

- Okay, people, look,

I know the chips are
stacked against us,

but if we all work together...

[all clamoring]

No!

- I'm not cleaning up nothing.

AWOL!
Get me out of--

[raccoon chittering]
[screaming]

[dance music playing]

[dejected music]

- Hey, I just wanna thank y'all

for a really fun born day party

on Buddy's last alive day.

- Yeah, dude, your mom's gonna
end you when she gets back.

- 23 minutes, people!

If we work together,
we just might

be able to save Buddy's life.

- I thought you left.

- Old me would've,
but I turned a leaf.

- I told you.

- Well, I already packed
my DJ kit, so...deuces.

- I do what a-she does.

- No, no, no, no, no deuces.

Here's what we have to do.

both: We split this place
into zones.

Everyone works
from the outside in.

If you don't know
where something goes,

hide it, and most of all...

don't stop believing.

- [snickers]

- Did we just become friends?
- No.

[all gasp]

We just became best friends.

all:

- Hey!

- Blayne Kirkpatrick?

- We all gonna sit around
having genuine moments,

or are we gonna help Buddy
clean his dang house?

- I thought you stole
that Daytime Blimpie award

and left, Blayne Kirkpatrick.

- I did.

Then I turned a leaf.

- Let's clean!

[all cheer]

[upbeat music]

- We did it.
We really did it.

[all cheer]

I can't thank you guys
enough for--

- Buddy?
[all scream]

What is going on?

I thought you were
at your dad's house.

And why are you thanking
your friends?

- And why is this kid
staring right at me?

- To establish dominance.

- Please make him stop.

- Uh, I was thanking them

for coming over,

standing still,

staring at each other,

and not touching anything--

up to and including
your Daytime Blimpie award

and the birth table--
and I gotta say,

great job, people.
[awkward laughter]

- I do not understand
kids these days.

- Yeah, we're so weird.
- We don't make any sense.

- I don't even get me.
- Gen Z, am I right?

- With our long hair
and our rock and roll music.

- You're making it weirder.

[overlapping agreement]

After surviving a hotel fire

and driving through a mall,

I just wanna open a fresh can

of Frittles and--

Sunflower seeds?

Budaford J. Fudgers,
did you have a party?

- Yes, Mom.

- You know,
when we moved to this town,

I thought we were
turning over a new leaf.

But once again,
I see your friends have had

a terrible influence on you.

- Well, I, for one,
am disappointed!

- Yeah, you can say that again.

- Well, I, for one,
am disappointed!

- You know,
and one more thing--

- I'm ready to party!

Whoo-hoo!
Yeah!

Sorry I'm late.

[door clicks closed]

- Mom, I'm sorry,
but it was Bose's--

- Buddy, you can stop.
I'm not mad anymore.

all: You're not?

- I was at first,

but after thinking about it,

I realized how hard it must've
been on you moving towns,

and you were
probably just trying

to make some new friends,
right?

- Yeah, that.

- I guess you could say I've--

all: Turned a leaf?

- What?
No.

I've seen the light.
- Oh.

- Okay.
- That's fair, I guess.

[overlapping chatter]
[knock at door]

- Ow!

- I found this diamond slipper
in the woods.

Does it belong to anybody here?

[rock music]

- Let's party!

[all cheer]

[vocalizing]