01x09 - Ginger Ale is a Force Majeure

[bunniefuu]

[beeping]

- [girl 1] See ya.
- [girl 2] See you tomorrow.

[indistinct chatter]

Hmm? Oh.

[Anzu] There's Junta.

He's working hard, as usual.

Maybe I could watch him practice.

Hey. No, wait a minute.

- That's a bad idea.
- Hey!

- [Anzu] I need to avoid anything...
- Mm... Ah!

...that lets Riri plot something
at all costs.

Are you okay?

[Anzu] I could end up dead!

Um... Hm!

[theme music]

#9 GINGER ALE IS A FORCE MAJEURE

[Anzu] Now that I think about it,

the baseball club manager's
actually really cute.

I wonder if he'd ever date
someone like her.

Maybe, if he weren't under Riri's spell.

I feel terrible getting him involved
in this whole messed up situation.

- Here.
- Ah...

[announcer] Your attention, please.
Doors' opening on the right.

- [doors open]
- [Riporin] Huh? Anzu?

Huh?

Yeah, it is.

Amin, Riporin!

Wow, how have you been, Anzu?

We were just talking
about how we should have a reunion.

Really? That'd be fun!

We'll invite whoever we can contact.

[Riporin] Hey, are you busy now?
Let's go have tea.

That sounds great. Let's go!

[Amin] Any ideas where?

Let's do Zarigariya.

[Anzu] Amin, I haven't seen you
since elementary school,

but Riporin, we saw each other
at the station, remember?

Yeah, that was ages ago.

We couldn't even exchange contact info,

because you didn't have a phone back then.

Yeah, my parents waited to get me a phone,

because I would just play games all day.

No way. Well, it's true.

You did spend all of your time
playing video games with the boys.

That's true. And you guys played
some of the scary games.

Oh, like Cat Ranger.

[Anzu] Tonta and I were the only ones
who played it in the beginning.

Tonta?

Oh yeah, he was that, um,

chubby kid with the, the wild hair.

What? I don't remember.
What's his last name?

What? His last name?

Um, Tonta, um, Ton...

You hung out so much,
how could you forget?

[chuckles]

Now let's see.
There was a "mi" in his last name.

Hm, it's... Oh, that's right.

It's Junta Hayami.

What?

[Anzu] What? What?

How awesome, I got it. Hayami, was it?

I wonder what he's up to these days.

Hayami?

Um, well,
I still can't remember that name.

[Anzu] Hey, isn't that
a Cat Ranger character?

Tonta, do you play too?

Huh, mm-hm.

For real? All right, let's play.

I have been wanting to play in team mode

and Ryuya and those guys don't play.
They're so boring.

Come to my place!

What? Really, Miss Hoshino?

Call me Anzu.

Okay, Miss Anzu.

You can leave out the "Miss", okay?

[Anzu] Tonta's...

Junta?
[squealing]

[Riporin] Anzu, you look like
you just ate a bee hive.

[Amin] Do you have a stomachache?

[Anzu] I can't believe how stupid I am.
I could just die.

[both] Well, what happened?

[Anzu] Uh, Tonta wasn't his real name.
It's a nickname.

Jeez, when I think about it now,
it's totally obvious.

I mean, what kind of jerk doesn't know
their friend's real name?

He's not like some rando from online.

[teacher] Next up, Hayami.

Oh, yes.

[Anzu] But to be fair,
Junta has changed dramatically.

He's totally unrecognizable from before.

[both] Anzu?

[Anzu] Tonta, I mean Junta,
goes to the same school as me now.

Oh, really, he does?

Did you forget him
because he's kind of quiet?

Well, he's had a dramatic transformation.

Like an amoeba to an elephant.

[Riporin]
That's like an entirely different species.

Seriously? We have to see him.

Yeah, I'm totally curious.

- [Riporin] Call him!
- [Amin] Call him!

Um... I guess I could give it a try,

but he'll probably be tired from baseball.

Hey, how's it going?

[fork clangs]

Who's this?

You are a different species!

Please be quiet. You're way too loud.

Tonta's an athlete now?
[gasps]

And he's hot!

What happened
with all of your signature wild hair?

It's still curly when it grows out.

You're, um, Sayuki and, um, Igawa?

- Riporin.
- Amin.

[both] Be less formal!

- I mean, we can be casual.
- Mm-hm.

[Riporin] We're talking about
having a reunion next Saturday.

[Amin] You'll come, right?

Huh? A reunion?

Anzu, are you gonna go?

Well yeah, I was planning on it.

I can't wait to see everyone's faces.

We need everyone from school to see this

and to understand
that Tonta the bashful, I mean,

Junta, became an athlete.

Sure, if Anzu is.

Oh yeah, I have a game that day
so I might be late.

No prob.

I'm excited.

Are you sure? You're so busy.

Nah, I'll be all right.

But, usually you practice more
once you get home.

And then you walk me back from work too.

So, how long have you guys been dating?

- Huh?
- Huh?

No! It's not like that!

[Amin] It does make sense
that you're with him.

[Riporin] Seriously, girl,
you've got a great eye.

- [Anzu] Are we having fun?
- [Riporin] Oh, chill.

[light music]

[Anzu] This is unbelievable. Junta really
was my childhood friend, Tonta.

So does that mean

it's not just a spell,
and he actually does like me?

[Riri] Junta's had a secret crush on you
since elementary school!

Don't do this to him!

[Anzu] Now that I know...

- Hmm?
- Hmm.

Uh, ugh!

I want to crawl under a rock
of blissful ignorance.

So, um, sounds like
you're a bit overwhelmed right now.

What's going on?

[sighs]

[Riri] Ta-da!

Yay! I am so excited for the reunion!

And don't even think
about wearing your normal frumpy clothes.

I'll pick out your outfit.

[grunts]
What's going on here, Riri?

[chuckles]
Whatever do you mean?

[sighs]

Junta was really Tonta.

I thought he was an old friend
you made up using magic.

- [Riri] You bonehead.
- Huh?

I never ever ever told you
that I made him up now, did I?

You just didn't recognize him at all
because he had transformed so much.

Yeah, but didn't you cast a spell on Junta
so he would fall in love with me?

[Riri] It's not a spell.
I had nothing to do with it.

[Riri] Junta genuinely
has feelings for you,

- and magic isn't even a factor.
- [Anzu] What?

[Riri] Emotional manipulation
of our subjects is absolutely forbidden

- among wizards.
- Huh?

If that were allowed,
I would have cast a spell on you by now.

That's true.

I just shorten the amount of time
it would take for you to reunite.

- What does that mean?
- [chuckles]

[Riri] Well, for example,
at your high school orientation,

Junta saw you
and he even tried to talk to you.

[Anzu] What, he did?

- [Miyoko] Anzu, I'm here. Let's go.
- Huh?

[Riri] However, Miss Gamer,
what do you think you did?

[Anzu] Huh, uh, I don't remember what I...

Why don't we have lunch together
before we head home?

Ah! I needed to use a recovery spell
to win the game!

- Uh, hurry, let's go home.
- What?

[Miyoko] Hey Anzu, what about lunch?
Aren't you hungry?

[Anzu] Finishing the game is priority one.

- [Miyoko] Oh good grief, Anzu!
- [Junta sighs]

[chuckles]

Oh yeah.

I was just about to finish a game,
so I ran home to play it.

That's right.

Splendidly, flawlessly, foolishly,
you completely ignored him.

And once you started school...

you would always rush straight home
as soon as classes ended,

- so you could play your games!
- [gasps]

- [metal clanging]
- [grunts]

[Riri] It was like you were trying
to set a record

for who could get home the fastest.

Uh...

[Riri] And in Junta's case,

he keeps missing the chance
to talk to you,

because baseball has him so busy.

Huh?

[coach] First-years, gather!

[Riri] So I cut off the reunion,
because you two were taking too damn long!

[Anzu] You can't just cut it!

[Riri] All of it is to help you
find love, Anzu.

Ugh, it's none of your business!

- [bones cr*ck]
- I don't care anymore!

Just give me back
my three greatest desires!

[Riri] That hurts!

[in strained voice]
If I do nothing,

then your dictionary will have
no entry included for romance.

[grunts]
I surrender, I surrender.

VIDEO GAMES: VERY FUN. CHOCOLATE:
DELICIOUS. CAT: FLUFFY AND CUTE.

Ugh, could any romance replace
the three things I love most?

But you're the Anti-Heroine,
how could you say that?

Ugh...

[Riri] With girls like you,
we have to be a bit more aggressive,

or you'll keep missing
great opportunities.

[laughing mischievously]

- [Riri] And die alone!
- [Anzu] Jeez, harsh much?

Hold on, why am I the only one
being treated like an outcast?

Saki has no interest in dating either.

[Riri] That's because Saki is
already insanely popular.

[gasps]

[fan] Saki, please, I love you so much!

[Riri] So she won't need help
finding someone.

SAKI LOVE

I'm so sorry, for even considering
I'm in the same league as her.

Now, do you understand it, huh?

What we're doing, Anzu,

is a romantic relationship project
to help you find a love

that surpasses your love
for your greatest desires.

[grumbles]

Well, I say screw that project.

But anyway, even if Tonta is Junta,

the fact remains
that the two of us are just friends.

Heh?

[Riri] Huh?

[Riri] Um, hmm?

[Anzu] Get out!

[Riri] You kick me out now?

Hey, what happened to Tonta?

- [Ryuya] He left already.
- Really?

Oh, I wanted to game with him today.

He told me that he's sick
of playing Cat Ranger.

Seriously?

We were just talking about
how we wanted to b*at the top score.

You should b*at it with us then!

- Yeah!
- [chuckles awkwardly]

You guys didn't even want
to play Cat Ranger before.

- [Katsun] Hey, that's not true.
- [Ryuya sighs, groans]

[indistinct chatter]

Did you say Anzu was coming
to the reunion too?

Anzu? Yeah, she's coming.

Was graduation the last time you saw her?

Yeah.

Heh, she'll probably come
in her lame cat clothes.

- [Anzu] You've got a problem with cats?
- [girls] Huh?

- [Ryuya] Anzu?
- Wow.

Look at you, Anzu,
you look so cute, all dressed up.

That's right, girlie. Rock on.

Uh...

Wow, Anzu's got decent clothes on, guys.

And your hair's not everywhere.

I'm really sorry
to disappoint you all, fellas.

[Anzu] But it's only thanks to their help.

I gotta pee! I really gotta pee!

Please just stay still now.

Hey, you forgot to take off the tag.

Just because you changed a little,

doesn't mean you can act
like you're all that.

Clearly, you haven't changed much, Ryuya,

especially your height.

- Hey, I'm still growing, all right?
- [chuckles]

I mean, maybe you just grew too much!

Hey, let's play girls against guys.

The team
with the highest total score wins.

There's more girls than guys,
so that sounds fair, right?

Yeah, I'm in. Sounds like fun.

So, what should the losers have to do?

[girls] What?

How about, losers confess
who their first love was?

Uh-oh, I can only think
of game characters.

[Katsun] We don't expect too much
from you, Bushy.

Well, what should we do?

[worried sigh]

[Anzu] I'm on the girls' team,

so everything is gonna be a-okay.

MASTER OF GAMES

- [chuckling]
- Yeah!

[Anzu] Huh, do you have any idea
what it means to challenge me?

You're all merely average fools!
You have hardly won any games!

I'll make sure
that you all know your place!

- Anzu!
- Yay, Anzu!

You sound just like a villain, girl.

Don't think that this game's
going down like that!

This isn't grade school, you'll be silly!

You mean, "sorry."

[both growl]

[girls cheering]

[Anzu] Nobody realizes

that the secret to winning in bowling...

is that you first have to read
the oil on the lane...

then visualize your target.

And finally, you inject that motivation!

Now, prepare for death!

- [squealing]
- [girls] Strike!

[screaming]

[Anzu] I just got to smash Riri
so many times!

GIRLS' TEAM WIN!

[Anzu] Now, as promised,
tell us who all your first loves were.

FIGHT ON

And get down on your knees!

[Katsun] Don't make it worse.

[Sota] Well, what can we do?

- [Sota] Let's sit down, at least.
- [Katsun] Uh, you go first, man.

Um! Mine was... It was Okawa.

[girls] Ooh!

Mine was Yoshida.

[girls laughing]

Mine was Amin.

Huh, who? Me? No way.

It's over!

- [wails]
- Hey, Ryuya, you're next.

[gasps]

Fine. Mine was...

[boy] Yamaguchi, you cool dude,
get a hold of yourself!

[Anzu] Good thing
Junta didn't get here yet.

- I always liked Anzu!
- [chuckles]

- [screams]
- [Sota] Come on, man.

Hey.

My preschool teacher.

[both] You've got to give us
something better than that, dude!

[scoffs]
Damn it!

We won't lose again! Rematch, now!

Again, dude? Really?

Yamaguchi's HP is at zero.

[Ryuya] This is revenge!

Come on, guys!
Let's show these girls what we've got!

Sure, guys. I mean,
if you want to look even worse.

[giggling]

[all groan]

Okay then, losers buy ice cream.

Your crushes were less interesting
than I could have imagined.

[groans]

Now you just put his HP in the negative!

[Anzu chuckles]

- [Anzu] Saw this coming?
- [Ryuya groans]

- Yay! Now let's all do karaoke!
- [annoyed grunt]

Anzu, I challenge you to karaoke!

Sure thing.

Ryuya, just let it go, man.

Hey, you know what,

you guys really haven't changed
since grade school.

[Ryuya] ♪ Girl, you know I'm sorry
To be forceful ♪

♪ I promise you a future
Will be wonderful ♪

YOU HAVE A FIRM VOICE.

PRACTICE ADJUSTING THE PITCH
AND AIM FOR A HIGHER SCORE.

All right. Not bad.

♪ And I will decide myself ♪

PITCH AT THE BEGINNING IS PERFECT

IT WOULD BE GOOD
IF YOU TRY TO RELAX MORE

- [Ryuya] No! I don't believe this!
- [girls cheering, laughing]

♪ Oh yeah, I'll never let you go ♪

♪ No, no, no ♪

♪ Please don't try to break my heart ♪

[cheering]

- You're such a sore loser.
- Hmph!

- [slurping]
- [giggles]

Oh come on,
you losing to me is such old news.

[Ryuya] Anzu, you really know
how to piss me off!

Oh, you're one to talk, Ryuya.
You're just a two-timer.

What? You're a two-timer? Really?

[splutters]
Hey, shut up!

[both] Yeah, but it's true.

- [grumbles]
- [Riporin] Oh, come on.

Quit your moping.
Just sing a song with Anzu and cheer up.

Oh, all right, fine.

So, what do you wanna sing?

YOU HAVE A NEW MESSAGE

- [Anzu] Oh, um.
- [phone meows]

Oh, Junta just got here.

- [Anzu] I'll go get him.
- [door opens]

- Remind me who is Junta again?
- [door closes]

Junta is Tonta.

Oh yeah, I vaguely remember him.

Wait, didn't he, like,
move away or something?

Yeah, but then he moved back.

And now he goes to school where Anzu goes.

He had a ball game today.

Ball game?

I don't really remember him
being the athletic type.

[mischievous laughter]

- [both] Oh?
- We're back.

Oh, um. Hey there, everyone.

- [girl] Wow.
- [exclaiming]

[both] Ta-da!

- Here's Tonta!
- Or Junta Hayami!

[all] Huh?

HE'S GROWN!

[friends] He's Tonta?

[Yamaguchi] You got way too tall, man!

[girl] I don't recall
you being such a cutie, though.

Wait, are you the Junta Hayami?
Of Shunkan's baseball team?

[Junta] Oh, yeah.

Really? That's so awesome!

Didn't you have an RBI last game?

I, I'm a total
high school baseball nut, dude.

This is amazing. I can't believe
Tonta's a star athlete now.

[Sota] Jeez, can I get your autograph?

- I totally didn't recognize you at all.
- [chuckles]

And you're so tall now.

How tall are you, anyway?

[chuckles nervously]
I don't know, maybe, six one?

You must be popular.
Do you have a girlfriend?

His girlfriend's right over here.

- [liquid splashes]
- I am not!

Oh! The ginger ale stings!

- That's so gross, bro.
- It's not like that.

Well, you and Anzu do make sense.

Yeah, you guys have been friends forever.

[chuckles mockingly]
You guys seriously cr*ck me up.

- Huh?
- Now you wanna be friends with him?

Tonta, you must think
you're so much better than us now.

Oh come on, Ryuya, please don't do this.

I mean, you're tall,
and yeah, you're athletic.

And on top of that, you're tall too.

You said "tall" twice, dude.

You just came to show off
how hot you are now, right?

- [Anzu] So tell me...
- [friends gasp]

Is it so bad that a person
should feel better after improving?

Uh...

[Anzu] Plus, Junta isn't doing
any of it for attention.

He's dedicated and works hard.
He practices 24/7.

So it's not fair to dismiss Junta

and treat him
like he's just another pretty face.

[grumbles]
I'm out.

- What? Huh? Ryuya!
- [door opens]

[door closes]

Sorry guys, I'll be right back.

- [door closes]
- [sighs]

Hold up, Ryuya!

I'm sorry I made a scene, okay?

But I'm leaving, so it's fine now, right?

Ryuya, jeez! Will you knock it off
with the moping!

[grunts]
Hey!

Just so you know.

Not once did I ever feel bored
hanging out with you, Ryuya.

[gasps]

[Anzu] So there's no reason to be jealous.

Just shut up.
And don't try to make me stay.

- Anyway, you must be sick of me, right?
- [Anzu chuckles]

Your wicked, cantankerous attitude
makes you kind of interesting.

You were super devious
when we play games too.

Are those supposed to be compliments?
Jeez, Anzu.

Listen, I know I made it awkward
for you to stay

because of how I spoke up.

But those guys will understand.

And don't worry,
this doesn't make me hate you.

We can still be friends.

[sighs]

[soft chuckle]

[exhales deeply]

Oh man, this is crazy.
You really haven't changed at all.

What? I mean, I'm a little more womanly
at this point, right?

[Ryuya] That's not what I meant.

I didn't think I had feelings anymore
because it's been years.

But I, um, I lied before.

My preschool teacher.

[Ryuya]
My real first love was, it was you.

[all gasp]

I mean, um...

- I still really like...
- Sorry, no way.

[shocked groan]
Hey, at least let me finish!

Sorry, I couldn't hold it in.

Anyway, I'd never be with someone
who'd date two girls at once!

You have a girlfriend, and now
you're telling me that you like me too?

Uh... Uh, but well, we...

we went to different schools, Anzu!

What was I supposed to do?

She was really sweet and she lives close.

[sighs]
Seriously, dude?

But I... I thought about you
the whole time I was with her.

And another girl asked me out
and I thought she'd help me forget you.

Anyway, I messed up.
And I looked like a cheater.

You're a trash bag.

Gah! Thank you for being real.

Gah, but how come
I still like you after all this?

[sighs]
You're cold, you're not sexy.

You sh**t ginger ale out of your nose.

The ginger ale was a total act of God.

[Ryuya] Hey.

Do I really not stand a chance?

[Anzu gasps]

I appreciate how you feel.

I really do.

But I wanna be with someone
who wouldn't cheat on me

just because we're apart.

- Do you mean, someone like Tonta?
- [chokes, gasps]

[Anzu] Huh? He totally nailed it!

No, not at all. I don't think
Junta sees me like that anyway.

What? Are you really that dumb?

[Ryuya] That's been totally obvious
for eons, Anzu!

Anyway, you and I are friends
and nothing more, Ryuya!

You're too straightforward!
My heart's torn to shreds!

- [girls giggling in distance]
- [both] Huh?

Ryuya just got rejected!

Oh jeez, I couldn't hold it in anymore!

Hey, that's messed up!
Don't laugh about my unrequited love!

Now, I'm ruined.

They already make fun of me
because they know I like you.

[Anzu] It's not like
your first love was a disgrace.

You guys came over
because you were worried, right?

Yeah.

I was worried
because I thought I made you feel bad.

How could you possibly care about me?

Now I feel really petty.

- Well, you should. You are.
- Just shut up!

I'm sorry.

I just got jealous
but don't worry about it.

Anzu got it right.

You did a lot to improve yourself.

That's hella impressive.

[soft chuckle]
Thanks, Ryuya.

[Ryuya] Hey, you don't have
to thank me, dude.

[girls giggling]

[Anzu] All right, let's go back.
Everyone's waiting.

[Riporin] Both Ryuya and Junta?
You're so popular, Anzu.

[Anzu] Junta doesn't feel that way
about me.

[Anzu] I just gotta lean into
the heroine oblivious twist feelings act.

Tonta, wait up.

I actually lied about something
a long time ago.

Hmm?

Hey, Tonta.

Anzu said she doesn't wanna play
Cat Ranger with you anymore,

because she's playing it
with all of us now.

Okay.

[Ryuya] That was how I kept you
from being able to play with her.

And because of that,

you didn't have time to talk to her
and you moved away, shortly after.

I see.

Well, what a relief.

I thought it was because Anzu
didn't wanna play with me anymore.

Come on, man!
Why the hell aren't you mad at me?

Uh, well, it's, it's all
in the past for me.

And anyway,
I get to hang out with Anzu now.

[sighs]

This whole time, you felt guilty about it.

- [Ryuya] This guy's way too nice.
- [chuckles]

Well, I wanna apologize for that too.

Sorry, but it's not like I've given up
on Anzu, all right?

- Well, I, um...
- [Ryuya] You like her, right?

[gasps]

It's totally obvious, man. Let's go.

[all] Ryuya!
Congratulations on your heartbreak!

[Yamaguchi] All right! Let's do a round

where we dedicate
all the heartbreak songs to Ryuya!

[all cheering]

BREAKUP SONG RANKING

[Ryuya] You guys, what?

This is seriously so messed up!

BREAKUP SONG RANKING

A fanfare, please!

And a big congratulations!

Did you fall for my little trick?

I bet now you don't feel like
skipping the ending, right?

In today's world, you can watch
whatever you want at your own convenience.

But don't you think in that process
we've also lost something?

[sighs]
Don't just let things be! Come on!

Let's go on a super-duper happy adventure!

So I can make sure I get paid.

[closing theme music]

♪ Ah, yeah! ♪

♪ Let's go! ♪

♪ Lo-love! ♪

♪ Here we go! ♪

♪ Sorry that I'm forcing you ♪

♪ But I promise you'll enjoy
A wonderful future ♪

♪ No, no to your three greatest needs
Video games, chocolates, and cats ♪

I'll never give myself up to these ikemen!

That's what you say now,
but I know you'll give in eventually!

♪ You! [So!] You too! [So!] ♪

♪ I know your heart is b*ating fast!
[Show!] ♪

♪ Fall in love, no one can stop love! ♪

♪ Come on
Don't you want to fall in love? ♪

♪ Just admit it ♪

♪ Don't you want to fall in love? ♪

♪ Don't be so stubborn now ♪

♪ Don't you want to fall in love? ♪

♪ You can't stay away
From these ikemen forever ♪

♪ Come on now!
Don't you want to fall in love? ♪

♪ Just leave it to me ♪

♪ Don't you want to fall in love? ♪

♪ Go ahead and lose yourself ♪

♪ Don't you want to fall in love? ♪

♪ You can't stay away
From these ikemen forever ♪

♪ Embrace me, hold me tight ♪

♪ Release your wild side ♪

♪ The sign of love
Only you can pick up on ♪

♪ Let's go romantic! ♪