04x06 - All Is Fair in Circle w*r

[bunniefuu]

[funky music playing]

[Michelle] It's the morning[/i]
after the ratings,[/i]

which means that our players
are once again waking up

with a lot more than breakfast
on their minds.

Oh. Good morning, Circle.

♪ Over and over and over and... ♪

Good morning, Circle.

[Michelle] Oh yeah, nothing shakes you out[/i]
of that sweet Circle slumber[/i]

like an impending blocking.

Oh man. One of these people
is gonna be removed today,

and there will only be seven of us.

We have only blocked one person.

So we have no idea what blocking someone

who's, like, been with us for a while
is gonna do to the rest of the group.

This is new.

These friends and relationships
that you built

are really becoming
your low-key enemies. [giggles]

All is fair in Circle and w*r, I suppose.

♪ Like a monkey with a miniature... ♪

[Michelle] And even though it's easy[/i]
for her to say 'cause she's immune[/i]

from the blocking, Rachel is appealing
to the others for calm.

Okay.

Circle, start a group chat with everybody
and call it Morning Meditation.

Argh. Yep. That is too heavy.

[screen dings]

[gasps]

"Rachel has invited you..."

"...to Morning Meditation."

I enjoy a good peaceful meditation
every so often.

Message, "Hey, y'all. Sunshine emoji."

"I woke up today feeling a little nervous.
I thought some of y'all might as well."

"It might be nice to have
a moment of calm before the storm."

She is definitely bringing
the ray of sunshine into The Circle,

and I think that is so dope.

Message, "Perfect timing.
I just finished a gym sesh."

"#RiseAndGrind."

"I have never meditated before

but am totally down
to give this a try with everyone."

"Muscle emoji."

"#MeditationVirgin."

Okay, meditation virgin.

I bet you ain't a virgin
in nothing else, Nathan.

It's a good distraction
from what's about to happen today.

[exhales]

We could all just take a second
to breathe, you know.

Okay, message,
"Let's start in a standing position."

"Take a deep breath into your nose
and reach both arms above your head."

[ethereal meditation music playing]

[inhaling]

"Exhale through your mouth

and slowly bring down your arms
to your side."

Rachel, I am going to take a seat
and relax.

"Inhale three counts."

"Exhale for six."

I can only inhale so much.

[exhales, whistles]

"Try to do this a few times,

and hopefully, you'll feel
your nerves start to ease."

I feel calm.

Yes, baby. I feel the calmness
in my body, honey.

Message, "Am I meant to be feeling
like a Buddha? Question mark."

"#ZenForDays. #ThanksRachel." Send.

[screen dings]

[chuckles]

Give us nothing, Nathan.

That's how I feel
when I look at Nathan's messages.

Like, "Thanks for all of that nothing
that you contributed today."

[Michelle] Someone's centered.[/i]

I think this is good.
People will think it's kind of funny.

People will think it's kind of dumb.
That's exactly what I'm going for.

Message, "If you're feeling it..."

"...do a little stretch."

[Yu Ling] "Have a little shake or dance.
Whatever keeps your spirits high."

[John] Feeling good this morning.
I like it.

Okay. Perfect.
I'm so high-spirited suddenly.

Message, "Baby, I haven't been this calm
since I walked into this damn apartment."

"Crying laughing emoji."

"#RachelTheGOAT. #TheCircleCalmDownCoach."

I love that. Oh, that makes me feel good.

I think it's important
to give personal information

as much as possible. So, Circle, message...

Oh. Alyssa.

"I feel so much better.
I love breathing exercises like this."

"I have struggled with anxiety
for a long time, and it surprises me

how much breathing
and a strong support system helps."

Oh.

That's really nice that, um,
Alyssa kind of opened up a little bit

about struggling with anxiety.

Me too, girl.

Thank you, Circle. My work here is done.

Good stuff. Good stuff, Circle fam.

Definitely feeling the good vibes
and the positivity this morning,

and this is exactly what we needed
going into such a big day

that is very, very stressful.

This is amazing.

[Michelle] And all that meditating[/i]
did the job[/i]

'cause The Circle is a hive
of self-actualized activity.

Yeah, honey, you show
that child-sized dumbbell who's boss.

Really got to get into the Nathan mindset.

Working out every day.

Don't stop. Never quit.

Other things that gym bros say.

[upbeat music playing]

[Michelle] And after just forming[/i]
a throuple a few days ago,[/i]

Yu Ling is proving
that three is the magic number

-by starting another group chat.
-[screen dings][/i]

[shouting] "[/i]Yu Ling has invited you
to a group chat!"

All right!

Baby, baby, baby, baby!

I really wanna get to know
Frank and Crissa,

because from day one,

my gut reaction told me that
we would just absolutely vibe together.

I'm so pumped right now.

Message, all caps,
[shouting] "Frank and Crissa."

"I've been dying to chat with you both."

"Anytime you're both in a chat,
the vibes are always #Immaculate."

"Thought I'd start
this real down to Mars chat

to get to know you both better."
With the sparkle emoji.

Aw, I love that because I always said

that I felt like Yu Ling had a personality
that was outside of this world.

So I love that she's trying to have a chat
and get to know us a little better.

Message. Message, message, message,
"Yu Ling!" With a bunch of G's.

[spluttering] "Exclamation,
exclamation, exclamation."

"From the start of the game,
you two have caught my eye,

and I've had your backs
without you knowing." [gasps]

"#BrotherFromAnotherMother.
#SisterFromAnotherMister."

Oh my God!

Message, "Yu Ling."
With the fire emoji. "Baby..."

"...your personality is out of this world,

and I love when you're in a chat
with all your comedic humor."

Oh. It's just crazy how vibes just
make you feel. It's just... [screams]

Message, "You know, from the beginning,

I wasn't sure
how people were reading my energy."

"I know I have a super loud exterior
and use humor to navigate through pain..."

"Dot, dot, dot, which can be seen
as conceited and shallow. LOL."

"But it's been a journey
to overcome the shame I have felt

about my culture, size, and gender."

"Seeing you two being
so authentically proud

and unapologetically you is so inspiring."

Well, that is about the sweetest thing
I have heard.

I feel like that took a lot, so I
definitely wanna let, um, Yu Ling know

that I see her.

Hey, I think she's really been through
a lot in her life.

Message, "Yu Ling, I'll be honest and say

I've always felt like you had
an amazing personality from the beginning,

but I felt it was taking you a little more
to open up."

"But each day I'm seeing more
of who you really are at the core,

and you are truly letting
your light shine, baby girl."

"#ILoveYourStrength."

With a rainbow heart emoji
and a hug emoji. And send.

[Yu Ling] God, I just love that.

Message, "Girl, I was reading your energy!
Exclamation. Which kept me alive."

"So, for that, thank you for being you."

"I'm always here for you!
Exclamation mark."

I feel really good.

I feel like I am in a safe room
with siblings with Crissa and Frank.

Message, "I have so much love
for you both."

"Thank you for making my freaking day.
Crying emoji, heart emoji." Send.

[Frank] Yes, honey.
We are showing the love!

♪ Go, Yu Ling. Go, go, Yu Ling ♪

♪ Go, Yu Ling ♪[/i]

Whoo! Go, Yu Ling!

Yes. I love this chat so much.

I would love for us three
to take it all the way. Like, real talk.

Well, I wanna win.

But if it's not me,
I want one of them two to win.

I really wanted to just get to know Frank
and Crissa a little bit better,

and I got exactly that.

Now, I'm beginning to question
the alliances that I already have

because they have my back
without even saying they have my back.

I feel like, within our trust bubble,
I do trust Alyssa.

But Bru hasn't really been giving us
a lot of his personality.

He stays extremely diplomatic
and doesn't rock the boat.

And for me, that is kind of a red sign

because you're not showing me
any of the cards that you actually hold.

[chill music playing]

[Michelle] Yu Ling might be treating[/i]
The Circle like high-stakes poker,[/i]

but she's not the only one
with her head in the game

because Bru is about to hit up
his bro, Nathan.

Message, "Hey, dude. Being a new player,

I'm sure you're still getting used
to things in The Circle."

"Just doing a bro-to-bro check-in.
How you feeling?"

I think this is almost a case
of, like, keeping him close

because one, he'd be a good ally.

Two, keep an eye on him.

You know, can't be too careful
in The Circle.

We're always kinda
keeping an eye out for catfish.

So I think having him close is...
is smart to monitor it.

Message, "My man,
missing my bros back home."

"So I'm stoked that you're checking in.
#Bromance."

Well, great start.

Come under my wing,
small Nathan, my little bro.

Message, "Can always confide in me
with any concerns."

"#BrosInTheCircle. #Brumance."
[laughs] Send.

Yes! This is exactly what I wanted.

I wanna come off as naive.
I wanna come off as a bro.

I'm gonna lasso you in, Bru,

and I'm gonna bring you on
to Nathan's side.

Whoa, wait a second. Nathan messaged,

"Something I've been wanting
to tell my new bro

is that Yu Ling slid into my DMs hard.
Fire emoji."

"What about you?"

"Any dimes you got your eye on
in The Circle? Question mark."

Hold on. Hold on.

Yu Ling told me that

he slid her into her DMs.

The best way to bond with a bro
is to talk about girls.

I like to think that Alex
is very respectful of women,

where Nathan, you know,
he toes that line of being a bit of a dog.

So this is just how I got to play it.

I got to play this really careful 'cause
[laughs] my top people are involved.

Message,

"Ooh! Yu Ling is definitely spicy.
Fire emoji."

How do I plant a little bit of doubt
around his feelings on Yu Ling

without being like...

Like I'm trying to deflect or be like,
"Don't trust her"? 'Cause, like...

I'm gonna say, "She loves
to flirt, period," and leave it at that.

Like, okay.

That almost hints that, you know,
she did it with me, and then I'll be like...

[Alex] Bru, "Ooh, Yu Ling
is definitely spicy. Fire emoji."

"She loves to flirt."

"Alyssa and I have been vibing.
She's really, really cool."

"How do you think it went
with Yu Ling? #Wingman."

Oh man.
Everyone really seems to like Alyssa.

Damn. What the hell?

Message, "I was into Yu Ling
as soon as I read 'single, devil emoji.'"

"#ILikeThemSpicy."

"I like dem. D-E-M."

Yes. That is beautiful.

Okay, that's all I need to address
about Yu Ling at the moment.

"Alyssa seems really cool."

"Did it bug you at all
that she was also flirting

with Jared / the Spice Girls?
Question mark." Send.

Ooh! Nathan, who are you?

His angle about the Jared-Alyssa thing,
crafted it really well.

Something I wouldn't expect from a young,


Hmm.

Message, "To be honest,
I wasn't worried at all about Jared. LOL."

Send. I mean, he's playing the game.
It's not... This isn't a love show.

Like, we're not trying to find our wives
or girlfriends in here.

He's trying to get Yu Ling on his side,

and he's going to
do the flirting tactic to get it.

I think this went really good.

I want to feel underestimated.

That way I can slide through
blocking after blocking,

and no one will worry about Nathan.

[joyful music playing]

[Michelle] It's a normal day
in The Circle.[/i]

Crissa is doing something hella cool.

Rachel's doing something hella adorable.

[Rachel] That's cute as hell.

That's the cutest sh*t I've ever seen.

[Michelle] Momma Carol's[/i]
gassing herself up.[/i]

Wow. Am I impressed with myself?

A little.

[Michelle] And The Circle[/i]
is about to surprise everyone.[/i]

[screen chimes]

Ooh! "Circle Roast."

[laughing]

It's gonna get crispier than these fries
up in The Circle.

-[Crissa laughs]
-[Yu Ling screams]

"Today's challenge has been set
by a very special guest."

More guests?

Hi, guys.

-[Alyssa] Ah!
-[Rachel] Hi!

It's me, comedian Nikki Glaser.

I love Nikki Glaser.

The queen of roasting herself?

She is brutal. Pun intended.

When it comes to roasts,
there's nobody better than Nikki Glaser.

Your challenge is

to write devastating roast jokes
about your fellow Circle players.

We literally have a blocking today,
and now you want us to roast each other?

Put your big girl pants on for these.

Let's do battle.

You guys will write the jokes,
and I will deliver your jokes.

Shut up. That is next level.

I need to come up
with something that stings.

Tell the truth,
because if you're calling out

something that everyone notices
but no one is saying,

that's the best roast joke.

I want to impress Nikki,
so I gotta drop some truth bombs in here.

It's time to stop being nice
and start writing roasts.

I mean, I'm mean, but I don't know
if I'm funny is the problem here.

Go. Go. Grab a pen and paper
and get... get started.

Girl.

Go write jokes now! Go!

Oh sh*t. Okay, I'll get an... I need a pen.

I just gotta keep my head on straight
and remember that this is Carol

in the game
and not John writing these jokes.

Maybe I could say something
about her being a MILF.

Oh my God, this is gonna be brutal.

"#GiveUsNothing." [chuckles]

See? I make myself laugh,
so that means it has to be a joke.

[Michelle] Words to truly live by.[/i]

[rhythmical music playing]

You're done.

I'm done.

I really hope you had some fun
writing those roast jokes.

I am really excited to read some of them.

You have no idea what heat's coming.

You might... you might wanna, you know,
take some notes.

#ItsOver.

It's done.

[Michelle] It is for now, Frank.[/i]
The fun part's coming later[/i]

when Nikki reads them out loud
for everyone.

The roast writing might be done,

but Carol is about to feel a lot more heat
as she starts a chat with Alyssa.

And the real Momma Carol?
You better put on your earmuffs.

[screen chimes]

"Carol has invited you to a private chat."

That's interesting.
I was not expecting that.

The first time we ever talked
in a group chat with all the girls,

and I said, like,

um, "I've been married for 30 years.
I could use some tips to spice it up."

This is a conversation
I think I had to kind of bring up.

I think it shows a fun side of Carol.

Message, "Hi, Alyssa! Exclamation point."

"I feel like this has been
such a long time coming."

"I mentioned having to spice it up
with my husband, John."

"Do you have any ideas I could take home
and surprise him with?"

"Winky-face emoji."

Send.

Oh, interesting! [giggles]

I mean, just like the thought of having
this conversation just makes me so...

I don't like it!

But I guess we're finding out
what John would do for $150,000.

Message, "Aw, I love it!
Exclamation point."

"Of course I have some ideas."

"Some of the best ways to spice it up
are the simple things,

and making foreplay something
that you do all day is a really fun one."

"Maybe an extra flirty touch
in the morning,

a spicy mid-workday text,

and a romantic dinner in the evening

will build anticipation
for an extra special night."

Maybe Carol is who she says she is.
Because I don't know if I would wanna be

a child on the receiving end
of that message.

Mom, I hope somewhere in the world
you're taking notes.

[Michelle] I'm taking notes for myself[/i]
and for your mom.[/i]

Message, "If you're coming in
for a full assessment,

we would need more information."

"Like how often do you have sex?"

"Do you feel like something is missing
from your sex life now?"

Oh, balls.

What am I gonna do? I have to lie.

Like, I don't know anything about this.

[chuckles] I'm so interested
to see what she's gonna say.

Message,

"Honey, I am an open book!
Exclamation point."

"It's not that
we don't have sex frequently."

"I just miss the spark
from when we were younger."

"Thank you for these amazing ideas!
Exclamation point."

"I knew I could trust you,

and I really appreciate it.
Period. Heart emoji."

Send.

I can't believe I just said that. Like...

Holy uncomfortable, Batman.

Message, "I totally understand,

and it's super common
in long-term committed relationships,

so you are not alone."

"It is important to connect
with your own sexuality,

so next time we chat,
I will have to teach you

how to do a vulva hug."

"I promise you won't regret it.
Thank you for trusting me with this."

[shouting] What is a vulva hug?

I... I don't even know what that means!

It's all about connecting with your vulva,
which is why we have the vulva pillow.

But it's literally just one hand, one hand
and you just, like, hold for a while,

and then you just can, like,
take deep breaths and feel grounded.

Message, "You just put the biggest smile
on my face! Three exclamation points."

"I know
that we're both very far from home,

but something about talking to you
brings me right back there. Heart."

"That's why I really wanted you here

when I went
into the first influencer chat."

[whispering] Interesting.

It's super important to just give her
that nugget of information

to know that I've always had her back
even without having this one-on-one,

so that she feels the same way
if she ever has some power.

It sounds like she's trying
to communicate to me

that she had a big hand,

if not made the entire decision,
to keep me here.

Message, "I am so glad
that I remind you of home

because you do the same for me."

"I had a feeling that you were the reason
I stayed in our first blocking,

and I can't tell you
how much I appreciate that."

"Us spicy meatballs
have to stick together. #Famiglia."

Oh my God. Wow.

That was the best response
we could have ever got.

And the #Famiglia, like,
that's the same name

as my family group chat at home.

I feel good about Carol.
I felt good about Carol before,

and now I feel even better
because now I know

that she played a big part
in keeping me here in our first blocking.

So that solidified that I can trust her,
even if she is a catfish.

And now I know about her sex life.

[upbeat music playing]

[Michelle] While Carol, aka John,[/i]
thinks about what he just shared[/i]

and wonders why he didn't just apply
to be on Family Feud,[/i]

Bru is trying to figure out the puzzle
that is Yu Ling.

-[screen chimes]
-[gasps]

"Bru has invited you to a private chat."

I gotta touch base with my girl Yu Ling,

who has been sniffing around with Nathan,
my Circle bro, earlier.

Just wanna remind her
who's, like, top dog here.

Message, "Yu Ling, my darling," [chuckles]
with like a dash of the middle.

[giggles] "I wanted to say hi
and say I was thinking about you."

"How are you?"

This is very sweet,
but what are your intentions?

"Aw, I've been thinking about you too."

"What's up?" And heart emoji.
[sighs] She's been thinking about me.

It's all good. But I know you've been
thinking about somebody else, Yu Ling.

All right, message,

"I love our Throuple Chat, comma,

but sometimes talking to two girls
makes me too nervous,

so I'm focusing in on you. Y-U."

The little blushing
covering mouth emoji, fire emoji.

"Not much here."

"Just changed into this bright shirt

that reminded me
of your amazing personality."

"By the way, this shirt
is boyfriend material. Winky face." Send.

I... I can't tell if he's,
like, actually hitting on me,

or if he's, like,
just trying to make a joke.

Are you making a pass at me?
Are you actually interested,

or is this your way of,
like, trying to stay in the game?

Message, all caps,
"Okay! Exclamation marks."

"I see you, Bru."

"Glad to see you are practicing
your flirting techniques."

"Don't worry about being nervous
around me. I don't bite. Devil emoji."

"I've been meaning to get to know you
a little bit better... Dot, dot, dot."

"You have always been
such a sweet personality,

but I want to know the true Bru.
Eyes emoji."

"Tell me something
I don't know about you."

I really like that she wants to,
you know, learn more about me

and why I am the way that I am.

Message, "I love that! Exclamation point."

"To kind of go deeper
on the whole nervous thing,

it's really about issues I've had
with self-confidence and insecurities."

"I feel like
we've all experienced being judged

and unfairly mislabeled in life,

but getting to know people deeper
has really helped me relieve that."

"I'm glad I don't have to be nervous
around you." Send it.

Aw!

Message, "Bru, my heart. Heart emoji."

"Trust me, you're not the only one here
who's extremely awkward."

"I actually find it extremely endearing."

"I'm on the same page with you

in regards to self-confidence
and insecurities."

"We all have them.
I'm navigating them on a daily basis."

"At the end of the day,

putting yourself out there
is the bravest thing one can do."

"Just remember to add gas
'cause I'm rooting for you." Send.

It's just really nice.
I wasn't expecting it.

I wasn't expecting to be so deep
into things with Yu Ling in this chat.

When I was gonna ask her,
"Hey, what's up with Nathan?"

Now, I'm like, "Who?"
Not even worried about that at all.

This is fantastic and really,
like she said, endearing stuff.

Bru has definitely opened up,

and I'm so glad
that he's been vulnerable with me today.

What was previously
a super just strategic alliance

and was there out of convenience
and like, "Great. This is smart."

I feel a lot more confident
that I do know Bru.

He is a little bit shy.

He does need a little bit more
of that encouragement.

And I totally know where he's coming from.

[Michelle] Aw, flirting, opening up.[/i]
I see a cute friendship bru-ling.[/i]

And as evening closes in,
the players are looking surprisingly calm

considering they have
ratings results, a roast,

and the blocking hanging over them.

See the difference?

If it sticks,
I will not be blocked tonight.

Okay, that's... that's just a test.

[Michelle] Circle, make 'em say...[/i]

[alarm blares]

-"Alert!"
-"Alert"?

Oh sh*t!

Whoo! My heart is... Boom, boom, boom, boom.

"The rating results are in."

This is quite a shock.
I thought the roast would happen first.

[Michelle] Keep your Tommy Bahama[/i]
shirt on, Nate. Remember, as a newbie,[/i]

you and Rachel are immune
to this blocking.

Hope you guys got your breathing exercises
ready. We'll need them for this.

-[sighing]
-[Alyssa] Okay.

Whoo, child. The nerves.

Let's do it.

-Circle, take me to the rating results.
-Rating results.

[intense music playing]

Ah! sh*t, baby!

Sixth.

If I'm sixth, somebody's been lying.

Ooh. Sixth place. Don't be me.

If I'm last, I know
it's not the end of the world,

but man, will it feel like it for a while.

If you're in sixth place,
they want you out.

Crissa?

Oh God.

What in the f*ck?

Someone's leaving tonight.

And I can't have it be me.

I was just so sure
that Crissa would be at the top.

She was the person I was most worried
about being an influencer.

I am relieved.

Fourth is a tie.

Oh wow.

Oh my God. I'm about to sh*t!

I would not be mad at all
if I were tied for fourth.

Who's this?
Please don't be Frank and Yu Ling.

I'm really hoping to see Alyssa's name
as one of these two.

Okay, it's... Oh no!
It's me and Momma Carol. Oh no. Okay.

Well, this isn't
what I wanted to see whatsoever.

I don't like that I'm this low
in the game. Uh. It's really upsetting.

Did Nathan rank me low? Yu Ling? Alyssa?
Momma Carol? It doesn't really add up.

Bru and I were... are obviously tight,

and it's just like a bummer
that we're in it together.

That leaves three players left.

Me, Frank, and Alyssa.

[Alex] All right, third place.

If Frank's third, that's good. I'd feel...
I feel 100% safe with Alyssa and Yu Ling.

Oh my God.

I'm genuinely not sure who it's gonna be.

Alyssa.

Alyssa.

And it's...

Alyssa! [shouting] No!

Okay. I'm okay with that.

I am...

an influencer.

Frank's in third. That is huge.
That means Yu Ling and Alyssa are up top.

[screaming]

I'm glad that I'm not an influencer,
but I'm really worried now about Crissa.

I'm so excited I could pee my pants!

I am both flattered and now terrified.

What the hell?

[groaning]

I'm so excited!

It's me and Yu Ling!

[music intensifying]

[shouting, laughing] What?

[shouting] What? I'm first? What?

Yay!

Oh! Oh my God!
I don't want it, but I want it.

I'm first!

Yu Ling, good for you!

[Crissa] That gives me hope.

Oh, lord knows I need hope.

Yu Ling has jumped over everybody,

and I hope that I'm on the list of people
she wants to save.

I just hope that the girls remember
who kept them in the game the first time.

I've told them both that I've done that.

Oh, I'm praying
that they don't send home Momma Carol.

[suspenseful music playing]

We look cute with blue check marks.

I'm a freaking influencer.

[laughing nervously]

Please, Yu Ling, have my back.

I don't know where Yu Ling's head is at,

but we have
to get rid of somebody together.

I love winning.

It is just gonna absolutely break my heart
to have to send one of these people home.

[music stops]

[rhythmical music playing]

[Michelle] After the excitement[/i]
of another ratings,[/i]

the players are taking advantage
of our facilities to eat dinner.

And while they digest that,

let's give them something
that might be a little tougher to swallow.

[screen beeps]

[gasps] "Circle Roast!" It's back.

Oh no. If it isn't
the consequences of my actions.

Now that I know the ratings,
they about to go ham on me.

I should have had me
a little popcorn for this.

Hey, guys.

I hope you had fun writing roast jokes.

It's hard, right?

Well, honestly, looks like
we've got some comedians in The Circle.

[Alex] Oh God.

And also some people
that should never do comedy ever again.

Like, we should ban you from ever trying
to make a joke. You'll see.

Are you talking about me?

Oh my God. If Nikki likes my jokes,
I will simply pass away.

She's a roasting legend.
She's gonna be so mean. [chuckles]

[Michelle] That's how roasts work,[/i]
boo boo.[/i] But now, I'm passing the mic[/i]

over to my fellow comedian
and roast queen, Nikki Glaser.

Let's start with Carol.

Come on, dude.
Like, talk about once-in-a-lifetime.

Yes, Carol!

Carol could try to be bad on purpose.

Her jokes might come off
a little, like, grandma-ish.

"Frank, [sighs] you had me
at titties and Tequila."[/i]

-Okay.
-[/i]Yes, dude.

"And Frank, actually, you have the nicest
titties of anyone in The Circle."

Oh sh*t!

I know that's right.

"I don't really know what that says
about Alyssa, Crissa,

Rachel, Yu Ling, and I,
but maybe I should have been

-drinking tequila the whole time."
-[laughing][/i]

I love that one!

"Nathan, I do know
that you've been looking for a job,

and boy, do I miss my husband."

"So I've been looking for someone
to come over and make me tea,

and just massage my feet
if you're interested."

[laughing] Carol.

Very cute, very Carol.

Come on. Give me some good feedback,
Nikki Glaser.

Oh, Carol, I could tell that you were
in your 60's just by your name,

but also just the way you wrote your jokes
read like a text I got from my mom.

Just like, what is the point of this?

This is very long-winded and adorable.
But [spluttering] no one needs this.[/i]

Yes! We did everything we wanted to do.
I wrote a literal roast as my mom.

It was supposed to read
like it was a mom sending a text message.

This is incredible.

Next up, Crissa's roast.

That's right, baby!

Okay. I feel like it's gonna be funny.

She seems like one who doesn't hold back.

"Carol, please let me be the daddy
to your mummy,

'cause, girl, you're a MILF."

[silence]

Bow! Ha!

Oh Lordy.

"Jinkies! I think
I found the Spice Girls catfish."

"Oh, wait. No.
That's just Alyssa, the IG model."

Whoo!

Take that, Alyssa.

[John] Yikes, Shaggy.

Oh, Crissa.

We had an hour to write these.

The silence is deafening.

I think I did okay.

Crissa, your roast was probably
the biggest struggle for me to deliver

because I think
maybe it read like you speak.

I mean, saying that Carol is a MILF,
that's not so much a punchline.

You could've replaced an F. You know,
You could've said, "You're such a MILF,

and by that, I mean
a mom I'd like to forget."

-Oh.
-Fair.

Not a good roast.
That was a big ol' compliment session.

I think people are roasting strategically
and not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings.

I'm just getting b*rned
left and right today.

Okay, next up is Frank's roast.

That's me!

Which is actually a rap.

Oh no. Nikki has to rap?

All right, let's see what this is.
[clears throat][/i]

I'm nervous for this one.

"Let's start with Alyssa,[/i]
she's really cool."[/i]

"And she definitely knows
how to make all the boys drool.[/i]"

[silence]

God.

Oh boy. [laughing] That's cute.

"Crissa is my girl, and that's a fact."

"But I really wish she'd come
and hit me from the back."

What?

Bars, baby, bars!

None of this is a roast.

"And Nathan is the newbie
that nobody hates. And I really think him

and Alyssa should go on a date.[/i]"

That's not bad. I'll take that.

I will not be going on a date with Nathan.
I'll just clear that up right now.

I thought Nathan was flirting with me.

I'm nervous for Frank.
I'm... I'm, in fact, scared for Frank.

Frank, your roasts were not a roast.

Oh girl.

You wrote a rap, and not even a good rap.

She's right.

I'm glad she's calling out the fact
that nobody's frickin' roasting here!

Frank was trying to kiss ass.

Girl, please. My rap was k*lling, honey.

You failed, Frank.

You failed.

Next up, Nathan's roast.

All right.
Hope you deliver my jokes properly, Nikki.

I think Nathan's got frat-boy humor
written all over him,

and it might come across,
like, pretty bad.

Bru, honestly, I wasn't that surprised
when I heard what you do for a living.

I mean, look at you.
You've got such a face for radio.

Oh! The burn is real.

Oh, that's good. Yeah, I've only
heard that about 3,000 times this year.

Yu Ling, I'm real glad you get pleasure
out of disappointing your mother

because she is going to be devastated
when you bring me home.

[screaming]

Go ahead! sh**t your sh*t, boy!

I guess there's
a little flirting going on. Got ya.

I think this was a success.

Nathan. [grunts][/i]

The only joke in here that was good
was a joke that you didn't write,

a face for radio.

[groaning]

The best joke you wrote was the one

where you thought that Yu Ling
was gonna bring you home to her mom.

You're not gonna do that,
Yu Ling, are you? No.

I will be bringing him home,
but not to Mom.

Roasted by Nikki.
Here, I thought I did so well.

That was funny, Nathan.
Don't you listen to her.

Next up, it is Alyssa.

Yay!

Hit me with your best sh*t.

Carol says she loves baking,

but maybe her cake was so disappointing

because she Mrs. Doubtfire-d it
before taking the picture.

Mrs. Doubtfire was a man
playing an older woman.

Is she calling Carol a catfish?

Brutal.

"Crissa always says she has balls,

but really she doesn't even have the balls
to give us anything more

than being the peanut gallery
in our group chats. #GivingUsNothing."

Whoa.

I was not expecting that.

That one's a little spicy.

I would be sweating
if I was Crissa right now.

She came for heads.
She didn't have any remorse.

Alyssa, your roasts were thoughtful,
descriptive, and not bad for a beginner.

[screaming]

I actually think Alyssa did better
than I thought she was gonna do.

My Crissa one sounded so much meaner
when Nikki said it,

and I'm really glad I'm an influencer.

Next up is Bru's roast.

Oh, get ready, people. It's going down.

I'm expecting these to sting.

"Oh, Rachel. Do you think
you've been ghosted so many times

that you just decided to start hanging out
with actual ghosts instead?"

Yes! That's a good one!

[laughing] The answer is yes.
He's not wrong.

Oh! Dude! Bru's bringing heat.

That was good, Bru.

"Yu Ling, gosh,
is there anything smaller than you?"

"Oh, wait. I know. Your mom's faith
that you'll be a success."

-[Frank] Ooh!
-[John] Wow.

[Frank] The girl is bringing it!

Whoo-wee!

He k*lled it! I'm so happy.

I was not expecting him
to be so good at this!

You gonna come at Yu Ling like that,
and she's number one as an influencer?

Are people offended right now?
Sorry, not sorry.

Bru, this was great.

I can tell that you are a funny guy,
and you know how to write a joke,

and I hope I delivered them
up to your standards. Good job.

-[Bru] Snap, crackle, and pop!
-[John] Well done, sir.

Next up, we have Yu Ling's roast.

Let's go, Yu Ling, bring some fire.
Come on, add gas.

We know your phrase. Add gas!

"Rachel always brings the Zen
to The Circle,

and she has never failed to send me
into deep REM sleep."

[laughing]

Fair enough.

At least it's mean.

"Frank, you glow from head to toe,

but you must have some skeletons
in your closet that we don't know."

What? What's the point of that joke?

That one was kind of ominous.
What does that mean?

I might have some, girl.

Yu Ling, listen,
roasting isn't for everyone,

and it's definitely not for you.

I know you're small,

but so is the part of your brain
that knows how to write jokes.

Completely accurate.

And finally, it's [inhales] Rachel.[/i]

Oh God.

"I'm glad we started the day
on such a positive note."

"Let's ruin that, shall we?"

Ooh.

"Let's start with an affirmation."

"I am not a catfish. Okay?"

"Seriously, a little louder, Carol."

Whoa.

"I am not a catfish."

"After that vote for most strategic,

you're gonna need a little more
cosmic energy coming your way."

-Holy sh*t.
-Whoo, baby.

-This is what I'm talking about.
-She's coming at me.

They did, you know, vote her
most strategic in the game.

So that's what I'm going off of.

"Even if you are a strategic player,
it's not, like, the worst thing.[/i]"[/i]

"Right, Nathan?"

"I actually heard you were campaigning
pretty strongly against me

in the Spice Girls vote."

Ooh!

"Maybe you could be a politician.
You've certainly got the hair for it."

Ooh, Rachel went hard!

It's good that he knows that I know
that he was talking. You know?

She brought up that I had campaigned
against her in the Spice Girls vote.

Damn, the Spice Girls
threw me under the bus to Rachel.

Rachel, I love that you actually made fun
of yourself in your own roast

by beginning with an affirmation

and then going pretty hard
on old Momma Carol.

Everyone else was really kind to her
and like, "You're old. Ha, ha, ha."

You were like,
"You're deceptive and kind of a bitch."

Okay, that's feedback I can handle.

Those were spicy.

You know, I've kinda gotta play it as
I get why she thinks that I'm a catfish,

but I have trust in the game. She doesn't.

Could be a pretty glaring move.

[Michelle] Our hostess with the mostest[/i]
has roasted.[/i]

Now we find out who's the top torcher.

That was brutal,
and not just for me to read.

Some of those jokes
were actually pretty brutal.

You all did such a good job,
which is what they told me to say to you.

I'm kidding. You really did a good job.

No, we didn't.

Unfortunately, there can only be
one winner. And that person is...

Bru.

Whoo!

Good job, Bru!

Okay.

I thought your jokes were original,
they were funny,

and turns out, you're a real d*ck.

Got called a d*ck by Nikki Glaser.
I made it.

Well, I'm glad
she didn't say that about me.

Guys, thank you so much for having me.
I had so much fun.

I'm really proud of some of you,
and the others...

Bye.

Bye, Nikki. Ah!

If I won that,
I would be sh1tting my pants

so nervous that people were gonna, like,
take me out of the game immediately.

Still can't get over the fact that
Rachel directly calls Carol a catfish.

Rachel, I hope you didn't unpack
because might be a pretty short stay.

[Michelle] Damn, Carol.[/i]
Save those zingers for the next roast.[/i]

[mellow music playing]

After a filling flambé of torched players
with a side of roasted catfish,

the players are on high alert.

Well, I guess it's a great time
for one of these, then.

[alarm blares]

"Alert!"[/i]

Oh no!

Oh no. No, no, no.

What do you want, Circle? What is it now?

"It's time for the influencers
to decide which player to block."

All right, let's get to it.

I can't believe it's me.

[screaming]

It's in their hands now.

"As new players, Rachel and Nathan
are immune from this blocking."

Thank you.

I'm chillin' like a villain tonight.
I'm gonna sleep like a baby.

"Yu Ling and Alyssa must go to the Hangout
to make their decision."

All right, girls, keep Frankie baby
in the game a little longer.

I feel good about this blocking. I mean,
these are... these are my top two alliances.

We have to both decide
who we're gonna send home,

and I just have no clue
who that's gonna be.

So, let's do this thing.

I am so excited. Let's do this.

Yu Ling, Alyssa, enjoy the Hangout.

You're gonna come out
feeling about 80 years older,

but hopefully, you make the good decision
and you keep me around,

because I got your back.

I feel like I made a good impression
on Yu Ling, but could Alyssa

want me out so bad
that she persuades Yu Ling to block me?

They have a huge decision to make.

[music fades, intensifies]

-[Yu Ling gasps]
-[Alyssa gasps] This is so beautiful.

Oh, damn!

I have the influencer book.

Okay, this is sexy. This is a sexy room.

[somber music playing]

I'm a woman with a plan,

so hopefully,
Yu Ling will also be on board.

I feel like I really trust Alyssa,
so I will share my opinions openly.

Ah! Okay. Circle, message,

in all caps, "My comeback queen."

"There is literally no one else
I'd rather be in the Hangout with."

"Crying emoji. Heart emoji."

Message, "Alyssa, I am so happy
that you and I are influencers."

"I wouldn't want to be here
with anyone else."

"#ThisIsWild. #AndUnexpected."

I can't wait to see how this goes. Truly.

Okay, message, "I totally agree."

"Maybe we should start with Bru."

Bru is good for my game right now

because obviously, he is
our one solid mutual alliance

that Alyssa and I both have.

So I feel like he will be loyal to us,

granted that, you know,
we're loyal to him.

Message, "Yes.
Bru is part of our #Throuple,

and he opened up to me
in a one-on-one chat today."

"...after he attempted to flirt." Ah!

"He is very sweet,

and I know we said us three
are in a #TrustBubble."

"What do you think?"

Message...

"I absolutely," all caps, "adore him,

and I'm so happy
we've built our little trust bubble."

All right, so clearly
Bru is off the table.

So that just leaves Crissa, Frank,
and Momma Carol.

Message, "What are your thoughts
on Frank?" Send.

Message, "Frank has always given me
amazing energy."

"He's very popular,

and it could mean
that some folks would get on our bad side

if he were to go." Send.

Message, "I 100% agree about Frank."

"I haven't gotten the chance
to personally connect with him yet,

but I love his energy too."

"I really wanna keep him in the game
and get to know him better."

"I think we both want to keep Frank."

Yes. I think this is true.

Message, "Shall we discuss Crissa?"

I do wanna keep Crissa,
but I need to see what Alyssa's saying.

She's the person
that I have the least connection with.

Like, I have literally no connection
to her because she doesn't let anybody in.

It's so disappointing.

Alyssa, "Honestly, I have
almost no relationship with Crissa

because she shares nothing...
Dot, dot, dot."

"She holds her cards
too close to her chest,

so I don't think she'll ever gain
genuine trust from me at least."

Whoa. I mean, obviously,
that is what Alyssa said in her roast.

I contribute information
so that people know things about me.

So clearly,
sharing helps people trust you.

Message, "Wow."

"That is so wild
because she said to me and Frank today

that she has had our backs
without us even knowing." Send.

"She's had our backs
without us even knowing."

Sounds like an empty promise
'cause she wasn't an influencer.

She wasn't ever in any place of power.

Message, "Dot, dot, dot.
...What are your thoughts on Momma Carol?"

Send message.

I'm so interested to see
what she says about Carol.

For me, this "dot, dot, dot,"

there's some coded emotion there.

I think she was kind of,
"What are your thoughts on Momma Carol?"

I think we all want to trust her,
but it's hard

because everything in us is saying,
like, "She's a catfish. Don't trust her."

Message, "Okay, this one is definitely
going to put me through the wringer."

"Momma Carol came to me
after the first blocking,

and said she was the one who saved me."

[music intensifies, stops]

Interesting.

[music continues]

Message, "That is so crazy
because Carol literally had

the same conversation with me
earlier today."

[gasps]

[Yu Ling] "And now I'm wondering
if that was true."

"I'm... am 90% sure she's a catfish,

but if she will continue to be loyal to us
and keep us in the game,

I don't really care
who is on the other end of the screen."

Oh!

Oh! [laughs]

Yo.

I can't believe Carol did that.

It just makes me nervous.
Like, it gives me a bad feeling about her.

Carol's out here just lying to everybody.

Message, "We do, unfortunately,
have to make a decision tonight." Send.

We have to think about what is best for...

the future of our game here.

Carol has just been called out
as a catfish.

Crissa is my friend,

but it's true
that she's currently rated sixth,

and there has got to be a reason
she's ranked so low.

[music stops]

[serene music playing]

"I think we've made our decision." Send.

Message, "I do."

[screen beeps]

Oh man.

It sucks.
Like, I don't feel good about it.

I wanna be, like, a strong player,

and I wanna, like, you know,
do what's best for my game.

That's what I came here for,
but, like, it sucks.

[Michelle] And it's about to suck[/i]
even more for someone else.[/i]

[ominous music playing]

[alarm blares]

-"Alert."
-"Alert!"

Any way you splice it,
any way you cut it up,

someone's losing an alliance tonight.

"Influencers have made their decision."

Ooh, child. Lord, lord, lord.

Yes, we have.

I wanna know so bad,
but I don't wanna know so bad.

God, I hope that it's not me.

"Yu Ling, as the top-rated player,
you must now deliver this news."

"Face to face!"

[music intensifying]

Oh! What?

Holy sh*t.

[sighs]

Is this some sick joke?

[music fading out]

[theme music playing]