02x02 - When You Least Expect It

[bunniefuu]

- Hi.
- Hi.

I'm making my list
for my birthday

that's months
and months away.

Oh, that sounds fun.

I know.

- How was work?
- Stressful.

I left early. Had a lot on
my mind, I was really sick.

- You okay?
- Yeah. I think that...

I don't know, for the past
couple days, you know

how I've been so like incredibly
nauseous and couldn't eat and...

So it's like
a part of me thought

that I might
have been pregnant.

So... It's like, we were
careful and everything

'but I don't know.'

Why do you say thought?

- Because I just took a test.
- Are you serious?

Why didn't you have me
go up there with you?

I've never been, like,
I've never been so scared

in my entire life
to do anything.

I was like, "Okay.
What am I gonna do?"

I'm so sorry.
I wish you would have told me.

I literally couldn't even
talk about it.

- I just felt so nauseous.
- I'm sorry.

It's like going through
something like this

it makes you just be like...

Do you want to tell
that person? Do you not?

Well, I'm here.
I'll talk to you about it.

- I know, it's just--
- And I won't cheat on you.

Yeah.

♪ This is life ♪

♪ I won't throw it away ♪

♪ On the hills of Hollywood ♪

♪ I am here to stay ♪

♪ I told you once before ♪

♪ And I won't tell you again ♪

♪ On the hills of Hollywood ♪

[phone rings]

What a pleasant little surprise.

Um...can I talk to you?

'Go. Right now. I'm free.'

Would you mind
coming to my work?

Is there something wrong?

'Come meet me
in the back alley.'

'I'm coming. Coming.'

Alright, bye.

[instrumental music]

No.

Come in.

No, he's not.

Okay.
I'll talk to you later.

Um...tomorrow you need to go
work at a fashion show.

Ashley Paige is the designer,
she's a young LA designer

'who designs fabulous
bathing suits.'

It's very important
that you do this

because she's a friend
of Amy Astley's

and, uh, so it's a special
request from her.

So I think I'll send
both of you there.

- Okay.
- Um, I have school tomorrow.

- 'So I can rush there.'
- When do you get out?

I can do my best to be there
as soon as possible, but--

School's very important.

Lauren, it means I'm gonna
have to count on you.

Do you think you can
do this on your own?

- Mm-hmm.
- 'Okay.'

So you'll represent
"Teen Vogue" at the show.

So it's very important
that you come through.

- Okay.
- Be on time.

'Do whatever they
want you to do.'

I'm counting on you.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

- Thanks.
- Thank you.

[instrumental music]

♪ I remember
how it used to be ♪

♪ Please please please ♪

♪ I just got to... ♪♪

Hi.

Well, hello, dear.

What's with the whole
serious aura here?

I-I kind of want to
talk to you about something.

It's why I'm here, sweetheart.

Well, I've been feeling really
sick and really nauseous

and I've never, never really
felt like this before.

So...I'm just
kind of worried.

Well...

I mean, I just don't know really
how you feel about me.

It's like, I don't know...

I-I get you like me
or whatever, but--

I more than...
I more than like you, Heidi.

Way more.

What would we do?

Whatever you want to do.

I'm not gonna tell you
what to do

with your body and your life.

I'm here.
I'm on Team Heidi.

But, I mean, this is
a decision you need to make.

I'll go either way with this.

Well...

I took a pregnancy test

and...

...I'm not pregnant.

I'm a little bit irritated
that you just had me thinking

that you were pregnant
for a second there.

Oh, like, boo-hoo. I've been
feelin' that way for days.

"Boo-hoo?"

I don't feel bad. I've been
feeling that way for days.

- So you wanted me to feel it?
- I thought I really was...

I've been feeling this
by myself for how long?

- It's like...
- That's your own choice.

I would've been at your
apartment a phone call away.

I thought I was.

So you thought you were
pregnant yesterday

you found out
you weren't pregnant

so you were gonna come
tell me that you thought

you were pregnant
just to see how I would react?

You know, it's like, obviously,
I care about you

or I wouldn't get so upset
about things.

And, you know, it just
made me think about us

and it just made me think about,
you know, a lot of things.

If we're talking
about Audrina

who's out of her mind

I never tried
to hook up with Audrina.

[sighs]
I'm so mad at you still.

If I wanted to be with
other girls, I wouldn't be

sitting here talking about
pregnancy with you.

- I have to get back to work.
- So where do we stand here?

I'll call you later.

I hope I have my phone
with me when you call.

[chuckles]
You'll have your phone.

- Oh, no hug goodbye?
- Oh, would you like a hug?

No. I don't want one if you're
just gonna leave like that.

- It was a test.
- Oh!

Oh! We know how you are
with tests.

It's gonna be nothing
but tests from now on?

You're just a big test now.

I already passed my test,
so...I'm fine.

Alright, bye.

- Bye, Heidi.
- Bye, Spence.

♪ Because I can't stop it now ♪

♪ It's so amazing how ♪

♪ I know I can't
I could never walk away ♪♪

♪ Girl on the run ♪

♪ Turning heads
everywhere she goes ♪

♪ Sweet temptation ♪

♪ Like a spider in a web she's
never gonna let you go... ♪♪

Morning.
I made you some tea.

Thank you.

You're welcome.
Going to work?

- Mm-hmm.
- Me too.

Did you talk to Spencer
last night?

Um, I went through
the whole thing and I was like

"You know, I think I've been
feeling sick" blah-blah

and then I was like,
"But I'm not pregnant."

How am I supposed to know
how he's supposed to react?

If he was gonna
react wrongly then

I wouldn't wanna be with him.

I don't think there's a right
way to react to that though.

He took it very well, so...

- Good, good.
- Um, I have a brilliant idea.

I think maybe you should
go on a date

with Spencer's friend
Brody Jenner.

Heidi, he's been
touched by Kristin.

- He's, like, tainted.
- 'He was just asking me.'

He was like
"Oh, you know, I think

"I've had a crush
on Lauren for a while.

She's really cute."
And I was like, "Oh, perfect!"

- Is he single right now?
- He's single.

Look, I think you guys
would be cute together.

I'm gonna take
a rain check for now.

Okay, you should tell him
that when he calls.

He wanted your number,
go a little horseback riding.

Heidi, don't give my number
to guys. 'Cause that's--

It's not just a guy.
It's Spencer's best friend.

Such a good idea.

[laughs]

He's gonna call you,
so I'll give you his number

and you can screen it
or whatever you wanna do.

- Yeah, will you, though?
- 'Yeah, for sure.'

I have to get it later
'cause I have to go.

- Have a good day at work.
- You too.

Don't give anyone else
my number.

- I already did.
- Ugh!

[instrumental music]

♪ Go ♪

♪ Whoa oh whoa oh ♪

♪ Whoa oh whoa oh ♪♪

You got two more hours.
We're doing okay?

Do you know
how to answer phones?

- Do I... Oh.
- Come on.

- Just say, "Studio."
- Pick it up right here.

- Yes.
- Grab a seat.

Pick it up, say "Studio,
Ashley Paige Studio."

Interns never know how to answer
phones. It's ridiculous.

'This is a magic candle,
and someone messed it up'

'and I really wish we could
get it burning.'

The-the wax is all covering it.
See what they did?

- Yeah, good luck.
- Yeah, we need it. Can you...

- You know how to dig out wax?
- Sure.

It's a magic candle
from across the street.

And it really works too,
it's a green money candle

and right now
we need more money.

'And don't get it everywhere.'

So h-her last bikini then...

I just don't see it
in there at all.

Britney. Here we go.
Britney's number one.

- 'What time is it?'
- '10:38.'

You should be wearing
a watch.

- I don't wear watches.
- How you know what time it is?

'Cause I always have
my cell phone with me.

- Okay.
- '10:37.'

Did she say this is from
across the street?

Can I just go buy
another one real quick?

They're not open yet.
It's from, like, a witch store.

- Oh.
- The models are relaxing.

'Must be nice,
being so gorgeous'

you don't have to work.

Us ugly people got
to bust our ass.

- Go ahead and jab it.
- Oh, wait.

- I found the wick.
- Shut up. Shut up.

'I found the wick.'

- Ashley.
- Where's the biki... Where...

- Ashley.
- You did it!

Oh, my God.
Awesome. Good job.

You can stay. You're hired.

Okay, Do you all like this?
Do you like this?

- That's cute.
- Here. Walk with it.

Can you walk that way
so I can just see?

Pretend like you're real tall.

You're pretty, but pretend
like you're real tall.

Don't you think it needs
more flowers?

- I think on that side.
- Can you please help her?

She's new, so she doesn't
really know what she's doing.

Can you show her
how to put these flowers on

and make it really pretty?
Don't make it look tacky.

- Okay.
- Okay?

The steamer doesn't go
until they're done.

That's the last thing to go,
and she's going with it.

- 'What time is it?'
- 'What time is it?'

- Ten minutes we're leaving.
- 'How you doing, Lauren?'

- Good. I'm almost done.
- 'Alright. Awesome.'

- I think I need to throw up.
- 'No! No, no, no.'

I just got real nervous.

[instrumental music]

[cell phone rings]

- Hello?
- Well, look who it is.

My favorite person in the world.

Spencer. God.

Let's go eat dinner.

Yeah, I'm gonna have
to say no.

What'd you say?

Um, I think it might be
kind of awkward

'because Heidi and I,
I don't know what's going on'

but we have some kinda,
some kinda beef.

You've done absolutely
nothing wrong.

Even if I did do something
wrong, it's like...

A, we weren't dating,
and B, it's like--

Spencer, I gotta go.

Oh, just hangs up.

[instrumental music]

♪ Freak or star ♪

♪ You're beautiful
and presidential ♪

♪ Freak or star ♪

♪ It's California ♪♪

Wait. What are you doing?
Put these in show order.

Look at Jessica.
She's so pretty. I love her.

- Okay, Jessica's first.
- 'Okay.'

Here's extra shoes,
since you guys know

the shoes there they are.

- Here's the umbrella.
- Yay.

- Do you really like it?
- I really like it.

Can you find something
to do with it?

[instrumental music]

- Lauren! You're going with Gio.
- Okay.

You'll need to do whatever
he says. Be on top of it.

- On top of it.
- Keep going.

Don't play with your hair.

Stand up straight. Go!

[Gio]
'When the models start coming
out they're gonna start'

'yelling their name
and their number.'

'They need help
getting them in order.'

They say, "Tianni, number 12"
or something, just make sure

you grab them by hand
and hand them over.

[Lauren]
'Okay, cool. I will.'

- How are you?
- Good. How are you?

- Good.
- What can I help you with?

Hey, Lauren, I need you
to stay over here in the front

and talk to the girl
who's in charge of the models.

Okay. Here, Whit.
Whitney's gonna help, too.

Why don't you have an
Ashley Paige shirt?

- You need a shirt.
- 'Cause I just got here.

And that's the order they
come in, she's the first model

and that would be the last.

'It's gonna be a little
difficult because'

you guys need to make sure that
they need, they need help

putting their shoes on
or accessory-wise or anything.

- You just jump in and do it.
- Okay.

Be happy.
If you want to smile, smile.

Do whatever you feel.

[cell phone rings]

- Hello?
- 'Lauren.'

- Hey. Wait, who is this?
- This is Brody.

Spencer's friend.

Oh, hey, Brody.

Oh, wait, hey, my model
got here. I have to go.

No, that's fine. I'll just
call you in a little bit.

Bye.

Don't put anything on
inside out.

Be calm. Move slowly.

Put it on right.

[all cheering]

Let the chaos begin.

[instrumental music]

- 'You need to go, Jessica.'
- 'Walk with her.'

[Ashley]
'Not you, goddammit!'

♪ What's it like ♪

[Ashley]
'You're gonna follow them.'

'Where's Krichelle in
the long gown?'

'Her bikini's not tied tight.'

- 'Lauren!'
- What?

♪ Do do do what you like ♪

♪ What you like ♪

- 'Finale, please!'
- 'Move. Go!'

[music continues]

♪ Move your body ♪

[crowd applauding]

- Are you happy?
- Great job.

Thank you for helping.

It looked so good.

And I love the umbrella.

- Yeah!
- Awesome.

[instrumental music]

[cell phone rings]

Lauren!
Your phone's ringing!

Heidi's Dating Service.
How may I help you?

What did you just say?

[Heidi laughs]

[Heidi]
'What are you doing?'

"Heidi's Dating Service."

That is hilarious.

I'm trying to hook you up.

- What's going on?
- Who is that?

Hold on, here's Lauren.

- Hello?
- Hello?

Hi.

[laughing]

- How was the show?
- 'Yeah, I'm sorry.'

I didn't mean to, like,
hang up so quickly but I was

like, in the
middle of dressing a model

and it was,
like crazy back there.

Well, you have no shows
tomorrow night, right?

No, I don't have
any shows tomorrow night.

I'm picking you up.
We're going out.

- We're gonna have fun.
- Okay.

- So it's a date.
- Okay, great.

- Alright.
- 'Bye.'

Bye.

Ooh, somebody's got a date.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[knock on door]

- 'Come in.'
- 'Hi.'

- 'Hi.'
- Hello.

Thank you.
Hey, Whitney. How are you?

- Good. How are you?
- Thank you.

Lauren, do you wanna
come back for a sec?

Ashley said you did
a great job.

Oh, she was so cool.

I mean, and that is what
your strength is.

I think we're finding out
more and more

is the whole production level.

She said you were great,
you were incredibly helpful.

I had fun, it was cool,
'cause I've never like

spent a full day,
like, in preparation.

Well, sometimes, really,
two weeks it takes

before a fashion show,
and maybe that's the next thing

that you should do.

A project, is to try

and work with one designer

from the beginning
of the stages.

But anyway, I just wanted
to say thank you

'cause she did say that
it was really helpful.

- Okay.
- Alright. Thanks.

[instrumental music]

- Heya.
- Hi.

- What are you doing?
- You're so fancy.

Thanks. I'm going to dinner.
Are you fancy?

I'm not gonna get fancy.

- I'm just gonna change.
- You look cute.

You having dinner
with Spencer?

Yeah. Is this, like

the first time you've gone out
with a guy alone since Jason?

- I think so. Just one-on-one?
- But you do wanna go?

[Lauren]
'I obviously wanna go
otherwise I wouldn't go.'

Well, do you think that
you're gonna have fun?

- I have no idea.
- I bet you will.

I think it's gonna be pretty
harmless, it's just dinner.

- Mm. Big step.
- Oh, yeah.

Well, that's good though.

Ow! I just hit myself
in the face.

[instrumental music]

I have to say,
you look amazing in that.

Thank you.
You look very handsome.

- I really tried.
- You did!

You got all dressed up.

I feel like
we're so distant here.

- Can I scoot over?
- Yes, you can scoot over.

Much better.
You have a very nice smile.

- I love it when you smile.
- Thank you. That's so nice.

I got told I have
a creepy smile.

- No, you don't.
- Yeah.

I smile, normally
when people smile

they smile like this,
I smile straight.

That's cute. It's character.
It adds character.

That's what you say to people
when they have a weird feature.

Like when someone has
a big nose, you go

"It gives you character."

What's wrong
with having a big nose?

Everybody... It's all about just
how your interpretation is.

I'm not saying there's
something wrong with it.

I'm just saying it's
how you interpret things--

Some-somebody thinks that
that big nose is cute.

Somebody in the world thinks
that that big nose is cute.

You know, just like
the straight-across lip.

I happen to think
it's very cute.

Straight smile.

I'm glad you came.

[instrumental music]

Lauren, thank you
for giving me

the most beautiful date
in this place.

[music continues]

♪ And I hate love ♪

I'm just... God.

I just like to see you smile.

♪ Quite the way I want it to ♪

♪ The trap gets set ♪

♪ Don't they know? ♪

♪ The walls go up
and then drama begins ♪

♪ It's all part of the show ♪

♪ But it's a wonderful thing ♪

- Thank you for coming.
- I had fun. Thank you.

- I had an amazing time.
- Mm.

I'll call you later, okay?

- See ya.
- Bye.

♪ When it's happening ♪

♪ Hey it's happening ♪

♪ Hey it's happening ♪

♪ I think it's happening ♪

♪ Oh I hope it's happening ♪♪