05x01 - The 1 Percenters

[bunniefuu]

Oh, to be back
in the Caribbean. I'm excited.

[giggles]

Yachting is like a relationship.

It's a lot of work,
a lot of fun.

Whoo!

A lot of sneaking onto the
boat in last night's clothes.

Naughty yachtie!

If I have any angst,

it's about the new crew.

I've never seen
such a collective group

of f---ing idiots in my life.

It's like mixing
fire and gasoline.

We're gonna go bow to stern.

As far as last charter season,

I've matured a lot,
but every so often,

the freak likes to come out
and play a bit.

-Shaving cream fight?
-No.

Uhhhh?

This is my first season.

I want to prove myself.

How much soap did you
put in the washers?

Not much, why?

I love traveling.
That's what I live for.

[all shouting]

Ironically, I've never been
south of Orlando.

The lifestyle of yachties
is very nomadic.

It's very just out there,
so I fit in really well.

[giggling]

A lot of people think
I'm a shy nice guy.

Oh, we have cockroaches.

What, are you a Buddhist?
k*ll it.

But get a couple drinks
in me…

[all shouting]

I would totally lick
her balloon knot.

-What?
-[laughter]

Hello, darlings.

How I define myself
is a ghetto gypsy diva.

-Do you want to see boobs?
-Just like one boob.

I would rather scrub

the same piece of metal
for 8 hours in the Caribbean sun

than spend 15 minutes
on a computer.

-Then you're gonna go around.
-F--- this stupid knot.

My dream since kid
was always to get out

of Portugal and work on a yacht.

Watch the ski.
No, do not get on that.

-Get off that.
-I previously worked

for the biggest cruise ships
in the world.

-This is ridiculous.
-And I realized

that size doesn't matter.

I'm just gonna reach in
and grab this one.

Oh, look at that.
Not even a clue.

This is my second s*ab
at yachting.

The first time,
someone stole my clothes.

The cops got involved, and then
I just quit 'cause it was awful.

It's much too early.
I'm one beer deep.

Give me 12 more. This one's
gonna go a lot better though.

[screaming]

-Yachting is unpredictable.
-Whoa, hot tub's overflowing.

It's exhausting.

I can't move
these two fingers.

Your cooking sucks!

And it takes some experience
if you want it done right.

You're quite bitter
all the time.

Excuse me?

I'll take my stripes, and you
can f---ing put it up your ass.

You f---ing behave.

-Get your f---ing--
-Guys, guys, guys.

-We're gonna f---ing hit him.
-Brace yourself.

Watch the bow! Watch the bow!
Watch the bow!

-I need the spring line.
-Catastrophe.

-[crash]
-God damn it!

[horn blasting]

[upbeat music playing]

♪♪

[dynamic pop music playing]

♪♪

I actually think I like
yachting more now

that I only do it
a few times a year,

because it's kind of
hooking up with an ex.

I don't want to recommit to it,

but I don't mind having a little
six-week fling just for the tips.

-Hello.
-Kate. How you doing, kiddo?

-Good.
-You look lovely as usual.

Thank you.
I love our new uniform shirts.

Yeah.

-Valor again, huh?
-Yeah.

-We're familiar with it, so…
-Yeah.

Working for
Captain Lee is a dream.

I know what to expect.

-We've got nine charters.
-All right.

I've been doing it for so long
it's almost easy for me.

And as you see-- I mean,

-the marina's chocked full.
-Yeah.

We didn't really have a lot
to choose from for crew,

so the cream of the crop
is pretty much taken.

In the last five years, you got
all these Hollywood types,

Wall Street pricks,
building these gigantic,

ginormous giga-yachts,
sucking up all the good crew.

You've got one stew with some
experience and one with zero.

You know where
everything's at here.

-Yeah.
-Nothing you can't handle.

-Yeah.
-We'll pick up tomorrow.

Hello? Is this the galley?

-Hello? Hey.
-Hi, how are you?

-How are you doing?
-Matt.

-Kate.
-Nice to meet you, Kate.

-You are the…
-Chef.

-Okay, great.
-Yeah.

I learned how to cook
in Ontario through great chefs

like Susur Lee out of Toronto,
Matt Carmichael,

so I can get
any chef job possible,

but working on yachts
is a more intimate process.

You get to know
the charter guests,

and if I can make them happy,
I've done my job.

So how long have
you been yachting?

Six years.

-Where are you from originally?
-Ottawa, Canada.

-You don't sound that Canadian.
-No, I've been living off

and on in the States
for about five years.

Matt's tall. He's handsome.
He's from Canada, which is,

like, a G-rated country,

so, like, at worst when
he's mad he's gonna be like,

"Oh, I'm not gonna
hug you as much."

Do you have any
food restrictions?

Like a gluten or a vegan?

No, I like my steaks rare.

-I love carbs.
-Nice.

I guess all you need
is one crew member

to be gluten-free.

If there's a yoga mat,
you're probably screwed.

[laughs]

-Hi.
-Hi.

-How you doing? Matt.
-Matt? Brianna.

-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

-What's your position onboard?
-Stewardess.

Cool. Oh, my God. Brianna.

-She is, um--
-Awesome.

-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

-She's beautiful.
-Hi.

-Hi.
-Brianna.

-Kate. Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

-Stewardess?
-Stewardess, yeah.

-Okay, cool.
-Yeah.

I've never been the type of
person to plan my 10-year goal.

I just trust in
the universe to guide me.

Have you worked
on boats before?

Yes, for the past two years

I've been doing it on and off.

I backpacked Central America
by myself,

spent four months
in Kauai off the grid,

so yachting is just convenient
for my nomadic lifestyle.

Want to go ahead and change?
We've got deliveries.

Put stuff away.
Laundry's kind of a disaster.

And we have guests
arriving tomorrow.

I don't love the maid aspect
of working on yachts,

but if I get to be that one percent

to jump on a yacht
and travel around,

I'll be a maid.

Great.

That's broken.

♪♪

Hey.

Just checking out this one.

This is your rookie.

She's from Jacksonville.

"I like big boats
and I cannot lie?"

I'm glad she likes 'em.

-Hi.
-Hi.

-And you are?
-Bruno.

Bruno?
This is your chief stew, Kate.

-Hi.
-Hi.

It's always been my dream to
work on a yacht, and I made it.

-So, Bruno, where are you from?
-Portugal.

-Oh, nice.
-Yeah.

Well, here's your uniform.

You will take starboard
forward cabin.

Okay, starboard forward cabin.

Starboard forward.

Starboard forward.
Starboard forward.

I fluently speak three languages.

But starboard forward?

I don't even know
what that means, to be honest.

[muttering] I think this is it.

This sucker is big. Okay.

Oh, goodness.

As long as I can remember,

I've had this very strange
obsession with boats.

This is so pretty.

-Hello. Hi.
-Hi.

Can you help me
with my bags really quick?

I actually dated a guy
just because he had a boat.

It's like having an orgasm.

Like, that's how real
my obsession is.

I'll bring it down
to your cabin.

Hi.

-Hi.
-Kate.

-Jen.
-Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.
-Okay, so you're

-my other stewardess, right?
-Yes.

I've always wanted
a career in yachting,

but I was living in Hawaii
working for a 64-foot catamaran,

and I found out I was pregnant.

-Have you ironed very much?
-Yes.

I am a mom too, so--

-Oh, you are?
-Yes.

I have an eight-year-old
little girl.

-What's her name?
-Isabella.

Is it hard to leave her
for six weeks?

Yeah, absolutely.
I'll miss her.

I had a child, moved
back home to Florida,

and started working at a bank.
My dream job?

Yeah, I had to put that
on hold for ten years.

Okay. Thanks, Kate.

-Bruno?
-Yes?

Do you think that you could
move to the forward cabin?

Oh, yeah. Sure.

We have a lead
deckhand coming in.

After last season,
I went back to Chicago

and started a relationship
with Melissa.

-What are you doing?
-I'm sitting in a guest room.

I thought I was completely
done with yachting,

but my family life has become
a little bit rocky,

so I decided to get
back into yachting.

Hello, sir.

Nico.
Good to see you, pal.

Good to see you too.

The last few months I've been
working as a solo mate,

so I'm prepared
to show Captain Lee

I'm ready
for more responsibility.

You're coming back as
the same position you left in,

lead deckhand.

We're gonna run
without a boatswain.

-Okay.
-So it's your crew.

Nico did a good job last season,

so I'm gonna have to rely
heavily on Nico

to be in charge out there,

but I'm not ready
to make him a boatswain

by any stretch
of the imagination yet.

You've got some green ones,

one or two that
have some experience.

-Okay.
-And Kate's back.

-Great.
-And you know the boat already.

-Yeah, exactly. Knock knock.
-Hi.

-Hi, Kate. How's it going?
-Good.

Me and Kate had our
differences last season.

Well, let's just stop, Kate.

I'm not done. I'm not done.
I'm not done.

Kate can go f--- herself.

But it's all about maturing
and just moving on,

and if you can't then
you're in the wrong industry.

-Matt, this is Nico.
-Hey, how's it going, man?

Hi, nice to meet you.

Actually, you two
are gonna be roommates.

-Awesome.
-Yeah.

-I think Bruno's in there.
-He was.

Oh, okay.

Knock knock.

-Hi. Are you Chris?
-I'm Chris Brown, yeah.

-Chris Brown?
-Like the famous guy.

Do you spend a lot of time
in the bathroom?

Yeah.

For me, rooming with a guy,
I have more bathroom time.

I like that strategy.

Maybe we should
just say something.

-Hi there.
-Hi.

-How's it going?
-Good.

-Nico.
-Jen. Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.
-Hi, Nico.

-Long time no see.
-Oh, my God.

-We met in Barcelona.
-Nice.

-Long time ago.
-Yeah.

Cool.

We were docked
at the same dock,

and some of his crew and my crew
decided to go out one night.

We ended up in a taxi together.

He was very flirtatious,
very drunk.

-Well, this should be fun.
-I'm excited, yeah.

-Hello.
-Hello.

-Chris Brown.
-Brianna.

-Nico.
-What's up?

I'm Chris Brown.
Nice to meet you.

-Chris Brown.
-What's up, man?

-Bruno.
-Chris Brown. Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you. Go ahead.
-Chris Brown's in here?

Yes.

I guess we're only waiting
for one more crew member.

-Yeah.
-Oh.

-Hey.
-Hi.

-How's it going?
-Hi there.

-I'm Baker.
-You're my roommate.

You're gonna be on the top bunk,
and I'm gonna grab your uniform.

Sweet.

If you want to start forward.

Windows as well, right?
Everything.

Yeah, everything.

-Grody.
-Oh, we have cockroaches.

Kate, I just found a cockroach.
Oh, there it is there.

Oh, it's still alive?
You didn't k*ll it?

A little baby. I can't.

What, are you a Buddhist?
k*ll it.

I got him. There you go.

Great. "Oh, let's not
k*ll the cockroach.

Let's just keep it
onboard to breed."

Like, what? He's so Canadian.

-"Just k*ll it."
-Girls, do you mind

if we do a stewardess
meeting in the sky lounge?

-Yeah.
-Let's just tell each other

our experience.

Brianna, how's
your service skills?

I don't have a lot
of service experience.

-How's your service?
-I was a cocktail waitress.

I have two years of experience,

although it's been,
like, two years.

Okay. Chris Brown?

I'm green as sh--.

-Okay.
-This is my first yacht.

Um…

You studied culinary
arts as well?

That was in high school.

-Bartending?
-Oh, my gosh.

This needs to be
updated for sure.

So I did take
a bartending course years ago,

but I never followed through
after with, like, work.

Every season I am hoping
this will be the season

I don't have to train
green stewardesses,

but clearly it just
seems to get worse.

What about coffees? Do you
guys know how to do lattes?

-I know how to work a Keurig.
-All right.

-Coming up…
-You guys doing good?

Just a bunch of cushions
[inaudible].

Jesus Christ. We got cushions
over the side. F---ing idiots.

We used this boat last season,
so I know how it works.

This is where
all of our polish is.

Shammy mops, deck brushes.

Right in here
is all the placemats.

There's our boatswain's
locker right there.

All these beds.
Pretty easy to clean.

There's the bathroom in here.
The pillows. Water spots.

The boat is like a maze.

There's staircases
and hidden doors.

This is our cleaning closet.

Fun things around
every corner.

Start making the cabins
look great,

and then I'll meet you guys
and we'll do the master together.

Okay.

How's it going?

Great.

I can tell by the tone of
your voice how excited you are.

Well, it's just, like, we've
got a ton of work coming up,

and I don't mind it,
but I'm not excited.

The feeling is mutual.

I'm pretty sure I told Bruno
starboard forward

and then he came in here.

And I just feel like…

Maybe he didn't know where
starboard or forward was.

It's not easy being green.

-Do you know any knots?
-A couple, man.

I pulled up some YouTube videos

and tied my headphones
into a knot

and felt like I did
a good enough job

to go back to drinking.

For the majority of growing up

being a Christian
identified who I am,

and I was celibate
for 26 years of my life,

so I've got to make up
for lost time.

-So are you a drinker?
-I do enjoy drinking, man.

Four things Chris Brown
loves the most?

Women, alcohol,
snowboarding, and travel.

Yachting covers three,
so let's give this a go.

What are you into?
Are you, like, a girly girl?

A tomboy?

A little bit of both.

I come from a more traditional
Southern family,

just a long line of prominent
gentlemen and classy ladies,

but I'm a little different.

I live in an RV seasonally.
I like to go to Burning Man.

I'm a little more debu-not
than debutante.

Southern belle.
I grew up all girly girly,

but I evolved a little bit
since then.

So tell me more
about yourself.

-Are you dating someone?
-Single.

I've been traveling a lot for
the past two and a half years.

-Cool.
-And you?

My last relationship
was brief.

-Oh, my God.
-Surprise!

I realized it was not
that cool.

I don't trust my judgment.

If I'm attracted to someone,
it's probably bad news.

Do you want me
to do the others?

Yeah, if you don't mind.

-Yeah.
-Attention all crew.

Staff meeting in
the main slot in 5.

-Copy.
-Copy.

I want to introduce Garreth,
first officer,

and our chief engineer Darrien.

We don't run
with a lot of rules.

One is you will work hard.

We have some green crew,

and we can teach you
anything you need to know,

but once you're shown something
and you screw it up,

it's not a good thing.

Captain Lee actually reminds me
of my grandpa.

Like, even the jewelry
he wears, the gold,

and he's, like, kind of tough.

Don't embarrass yourself,
and don't embarrass the boat.

We're not gonna
drink on charter.

Tips get divided up equally.

If you don't deserve
the same amount,

then there's also a plane ticket
in your tip envelope.

Guests arrive tomorrow, and
we'll be off the dock at noon.

Let's get to work.

We've got
provisions coming down to dock.

Let's get it onboard ASAP.

Copy.

Been drinking a lot lately.

-You drink much?
-Yeah.

Not like crazy
like normal chefs?

-No, I'm actually trying to--
-Cut it back?

Yeah, hopefully.

There's a lot.

I'm already lost. I'm not
really sure where this goes.

As a single mom
I haven't got a break,

but my dad retired recently,

and because of that I have
flexibility in being able

to live my dream.

That looks good.

Yeah.

What do you think
about the team though?

The girls seem pretty foxy.

-Are you single, bro?
-Yeah.

I'm really focused
on my job right now.

I worked hospitality all my career.

I was a waiter, barman, and

on the cruise ships,
I was a guest relations officer.

On a yacht,, for me, it is
something even higher.

Regardless what the positions are.

I could even be a stew, I don't care.

I'm working on a yacht.

Awesome.

How do you like
to do breakfast?

We'll definitely do
a breakfast special,

a lunch special. Dinner menu
planned the night before.

Most of the yacht chefs
I've worked with are crazy.

Do you want to cook? Would you like
to cook? Are you any good at cooking?

I told you--

Then don't come out
with that bullsh-- to me, yeah?

It's always been breakfast,
but I won't use the word

"breakfast"; I'll just say it's
the first meal of the day.

It is breakfast.

That's just for us to make it
a lot easier for them.

I love it.

Matt is enthusiastic
and organized and nice,

and I can't help but wonder
if this is too good to be true.

Yay, I love it.

[quirky music playing]

♪♪

Who did the toilet paper
in the master?

I don't want to crush
these girls' spirits.

My best bet is not to be
as strict as I normally would be

because they're all I've got.

-Me.
-You?

Have you not learned
the diamond yet?

-No.
-Fold it up.

See that little
triangle facing up?

-Yep.
-And then--

I feel like I've done
this before.

So if you have a couple
minutes to practice that one, it's fun.

Hopefully
they're gonna catch on.

Matt, Kate, Nico, I need
you guys in the crew mess.

Copy.

Hi, guys.

Charter one. Six people.

So primary charter guest, Dave,

the owner of San Francisco's
first trampoline park.

We'll have to bust out
that trampoline then for him.

Or not. Maybe he's like,
"Ugh, not another trampoline."

He's a big adventure junkie.

He's chartering the yacht with
his wife Amy and their friends,

who also share the same passion
for extreme stuff.

If guests want to use a flyboard,
we need to get one over here, so…

Yeah.
Did you see Dave's dinner?

The steak?

-Yeah.
-Yeah, I saw it.

Off the hop, he says,
"I'm a meat, potato, meat guy."

I'm a meat and potatoes
kind of chef.

Perfect match. Let's do this.

Beach barbecue?

Yep, that's gonna be
the second day.

You usually want the chef
on the beach.

I'm gonna leave
that up to you.

-Sounds good.
-I know we've got green crew,

but charter guests don't really give
a sh-- how green we are.

We don't want them knowing
that either, you know?

As the captain,
you're not allowed

to show your anxiety
to the crew,

but right now the pucker
effect is so strong

you couldn't drive
a straight pin up

my ass with
a 10-pound sledgehammer.

That's a wrap.

All deck crew, can you go
to the main deck aft please?

If you look at our lines
here, right,

this is our bowline right here.

This holds the bow in.
If I say make it off,

you're gonna go one loop
around like this, all right?

Then figure eight.

My day work experience
was like,

"This is your job
for the next six hours.

You're gonna polish the hull."
This is a little different.

-No.
-[inaudible] locking--

Well, you could lock it
off that one then. It's fine.

So wrap that around like you
had it, like a figure eight.

-Yeah?
-Now make it off.

There's a lot more
to being a deckhand

on a boat than just polishing,

and you better soak it in
on the first try because

I don't want to be responsible

for any harm
happening to the boat,

to a human, to myself.

Boom.

-Holla.
-Nailed it, girl.

Quick, easy. Rodeo girl.

All crew, all crew.

Dinner's ready in the crew mess.

Oh, you are too kind.

How do you say cheers
in Portuguese?

-Bon appetit.
-Bon appetit.

-Here we go.
-Do you want to bring it up?

-I think we should.
-Okay, yeah.

So we were making observations,

and maybe you would be
interested

in switching rooms,
just one of you.

-So we would have mixed rooms?
-Mm-hmm.

-Is that allowed?
-Yeah, you guys will be fine.

Later. We were great friends
for 12 hours.

Rooming with a guy means
free reign of the bathroom,

the top bunk,
and a bigger closet.

It'll all be worth it.

I brought one underwear.
Yeah, I don't wear underwear,

so I have to change
in the bathroom.

-Coming up…
-Pull your end more in.

Pull it. Pull it.

All kinds of things
are happening.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

-Argh!
-Whoa.

[bangs]

[laid-back techno music playing]

♪♪

Hey, Jen,
I just need to brush my teeth.

-How'd you sleep, Matt?
-I woke up thinking,

"Sh--,
it's our first day of charter."

Whenever we're under way,
we'll always do deck checks

to make sure we're not
losing any cushions.

With these, always the zippers
on the bottom and in the back.

-10-4.
-Brianna,

take the vacuum from the bridge,

all of the interior
going down the boat.

-Okay.
-And you get

the ironing board out

for Captain Lee's white uniform.
Focus on ironing that.

Okay.

Wipe down all the flat surfaces.
Do all the tables.

-These go next to each bed.
-Let's get

the scuppers done.
Check all the windows.

There should be bars of soap
in there as well.

You can just do
the guest quarters now. Thanks.

-You guys doing good?
-Yeah.

-Yeah, dog.
-Just a bunch of cushions [inaudible].

All crew, I'm gonna
need everybody

on the main deck aft in 15.

-Are you tucking your shirt in?
-Yeah.

We have adrenaline junkies
coming onboard,

and no one's adrenaline
is pumping more than mine.

-All right. Showtime.
-Nice. Here we go.

-Hi.
-How we doing?

-Hi.
-I'm Dave.

-Dave? My pleasure.
-Good to meet you.

-Hi, I'm Kate. Welcome.
-Hi.

Jen.

-Dave. Nice to meet you, Jen.
-Hi. Baker.

Everyone looks so snappy.
Why didn't he get pants?

It's a little hot
in the galley today.

Chef No Pants.

All right.

-Welcome aboard Valor.
-Yes.

Yes.

Kate's gonna give you
a tour of the boat,

and we'll get underway
if you're ready.

-Absolutely.
-Good.

-We're ready.
-Right this way, guys.

-Let's do it.
-This is our main salon.

-It's gorgeous.
-It's pretty, isn't it?

So we'll go down
to the master now,

and this is
your master estate room.

-It's beautiful.
-It's really nice.

It's one of my favorites
I've worked on.

And your bathroom's
quite amazing.

The toilet will open for you.

Step on the blue light.
It knows you're there.

Dave, I'm gonna be sh--ing
in there if that's okay.

Here we have
our bridge deck aft.

Oh, the toys.

I think this is
your deck, baby.

Keeps getting better.

-Want me to grab it from you?
-Yep.

Kate, you had this made
for us to jump off of?

Yes.
Is it high enough?

No.

Straight on the dock.

[squeals]

All right. Here we go.

-We're gonna go bow to stern.
-Okay.

It's a bit nerve-wracking
trying to move

this multi-million dollar
yacht off the dock.

It's gonna be a real test
for my crew. What can go wrong?

-Everybody in position?
-Ready on the bow.

Ready?

-Yep.
-Get on your line.

Ready on your command, Lee.

-All right, let's do it.
-All right, sir. Go ahead.

-I am not steady on my feet.
-You feel a little rocky?

-Yeah.
-We're not even moving.

-Could be the champagne.
-Loosen it up.

Loosen it up. Loosen it up.

-Hurry it up.
-Yep. Let's go.

Okay, go ahead
and pull it.

Bowline's clear.
Bowline's clear.

-Let's get the stern off now.
-You got it?

Working on it.
Stern locked.

Stern line's clear.
All lines clear, Capt.

Six foot to the break wall,
but you're coming out nicely.

-Cut the tender loose.
-Tender's clear.

Roger that.
Let's get out of here.

That was better
than I expected.

Thank you. Thank you, Jesus.

Deck crew, once you get
the fenders up forward,

change very quickly
into your beach gear.

Copy.

Grab the back end
of this and help me

go up the stairs with it.

Coming right behind you
with the fenders.

Captain, are we gonna be
able to squeeze by you?

-Nope, just stand by.
-Okay.

Just go around.

-Let's try to go around.
-Come on, dog.

-Smarter, not harder.
-Yeah.

When are you jumping
off something?

Probably after lunch.

The higher and the more
dangerous the better.

He has that tattooed
on his back.

-Yay. Thank you so much.
-You're welcome.

If they start flying away,
I'll come back out and get 'em.

Jesus Christ.
F---ing idiots.

All right, we got cushions
over the side.

Can you snag
those cushions please?

Jesus.

They're greener than
I thought they were.

-Was it from the top or--
-No, [inaudible].

-The bow?
-Yeah.

Did you see the cushions?
They blew right in the water.

Yeah.

Chips. Runaway chips.

-I got 'em.
-Don't worry about it.

The fish will love the chips.

Hey, all deck crew,
I'm gonna need you

on the bow for anchoring.

With these cushions, we have to
make sure when we get them back

all of them
are clipped in in the sliders.

-Okay.
-All right?

We lost those, so.

Which ones?

Look at the color
of that water.

Seriously.
I can't get over it.

-Anchor's ready to drop, Capt.
-Give me three sh*ts.

On my mark, drop.

Lock it in.

Copy.

There is an ironing board,

a good one, on the back
of Captain Lee's cabin door.

Can you go get that,
bring it down these stairs

and then down
to the laundry room?

-Okay, okay.
-And iron his black uniform.

Captain Lee's cabin
is which direction?

I'm raring and ready to go.
Hand me the iron.

[grunts]

-Those are the ones we lost?
-Yeah.

-Damn. They're heavy, man.
-Yeah.

I didn't even know
the cushions had securements,

that you could zip them
into the physical boat.

Why is it so hard
to [inaudible]?

It makes sense
because it's a boat.

Did we do it wrong?

-I think this might be right.
-I don't think so.

A little lunch,
a little jet boarding.

Yes.

-I can't wait to see it.
-I call it rocket feet.

-Radish, radish, radish.
-So you're making the Caesar?

Yeah. Caesar salad is one of
my favorite things to make

because I make
the dressing from scratch.

If the guests don't want
some elaborate fine dining meal,

why give it to them?
No, I'm gonna give 'em

the best damn Caesar salad
they've ever had.

-You're such a calm chef.
-Yeah.

-It's refreshing.
-I try.

All right.
They have their Mountain Dew,

they have their wine,
and they are ready.

Okay, all cool.

The old Mountain Dew
white wine.

-It's all happening.
-Are these ready to go?

-Yeah.
-Serve the ladies first.

-Absolutely.
-Thank you.

-Thank you.
-So I'll serve ladies first.

-Okay.
-Since there's a third lady,

will you take down for the girl
in the middle?

-Okay. Hope that you're hungry.
-Wow. Oh.

Chicken Caesar salad
with tarragon.

Thank you.

-Thank you.
-I said ladies first.

If Jen doesn't understand that,

we might be in more trouble
than I initially thought.

-That looks great.
-This chicken is perfect.

Matt without pants,
the chicken is good.

Pantless Matt.

-No Pants Matt.
-No Pants. Thank you.

Nice work, No Pants Matt.

That's funny.

So it was the first lunch,

but, like,
serve the ladies first,

and you clear the ladies first.

-Okay.
-Matt, they're happy.

They're loving it.

Great.

Whatever you do, don't stand
underneath it, all right?

It's 'cause it's gonna swing,
so move that table.

-Back up.
-Now pull your end more in.

-More in?
-Yeah, man.

We're f---ing going down
with it, not sideways.

Hey, pull it. Pull it, pull it.

F---. Come on, guys.
Open your eyes.

-Which ones?
-I'm pulling it out.

Pull your end more, Chris.

-I don't want to be under it.
-So don't be under it.

The concept's simple, man.

It's a single pivot point
and you have ropes,

and you pull the thing
and you put it in the water,

but I've never done this before
so of course I suck at it.

-Wait, wait, wait.
-No tender.

All kinds of things
are happening.

-Pull it, pull it, pull it.
-Whoa.

F--- now?

Pull it, pull it,
pull it, pull it.

God f---ing damn it.

Whoa. All kinds of things
are happening.

Bruno, go downstairs.

Hey, Lee, Lee.
Do you mind jumping in?

I just need a hand
with this please.

-Yeah.
-This is a sh-- show.

You drive the crane.
I'll get in.

Yeah.

-How's everything so far, guys?
-Great.

-So good.
-Good.

Bruno, if you and I both keep
the same amount of tension,

then it keeps the boat
parallel with the big boat

and he can pick it up.
Let it out.

First time I worked on a yacht
was back in the late '80s.

I was in so far over my head
it was just incredible,

so with a green crew,

I'm more than happy
to show them how to do things.

Once.

There you go. Good job.

-Okay.

You wanna come
to side two here?

I'm gonna keep saying
things about service.

-Okay.
-So I like to have the table

after a meal,
everything cleared.

Okay.

-How's that going?
-I'm…

I'm hoping I'll only
have to teach them up

through this first charter.

-Yeah.
-So what did we say?



-Yeah.
-Hook me up with it.

No worries. It's gonna be fine.

-We'll figure it out.
-Yeah.

You don't want that really
too tight either

'cause it's gonna
hurt you here, so.

I have no clue how to do a knot.

Or to tie up a boat.

But I know how
to read a guest

and treat them well
and talk to them.

-Here we go.
-Yeah. Whoo!

Told you.
Gonna get it.

It's a nice feeling
when you're up there.

You really feel
like you're flying.

-How high is it?
-Oh, you can go really high.

-Go really high?
-Yeah.

Good job, Davey.

Do you think-- are we doing great or not?
I have no clue. Like,

is Nico's happy or we're
doing sh-- all the time?

I don't know. Poor Nico,
and I guess

I'm the second-most experienced.

The fact that I am the
second-most experienced person

on deck after Nico
is a little bit scary.

I guess I'm just gonna have
to adapt and step it up.

Considering the circumstances,
like, we're doing all right.

Yeah, right?

Argh! Oh, my legs.

-Thanks a lot for coming out.
-Oh, God.

[sighs]

All deck [inaudible], go ahead
and change over.

[upbeat music playing]

♪♪

Have you set tables
very often?

Just on my last boat.

You'll be setting lots
of tables this season.

Cool.

-Oh, God. So we can eat?
-Yeah.

Oh, God. I'm so tired.
I can't feel my legs.

I'm really, really hurt
in my legs.

Drink some water.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

The dresses, ladies.
You look awesome.

I know.

We're all lovely
in the ocean breeze.

You look beautiful.

The primaries are out
of their cabin,

so I'm gonna have you go
to the master and start the turndown.

Watch your head.

Hey, hon, will you just
go check on the guests?

-Sure.
-The Flyboard today?

-Yeah?
-Pretty fun.

-That was very fun.
-That was awesome.

Is your bucket list shrinking
or is it growing?

Oh, it's growing.

I'd really like
to climb Kilimanjaro.

Can I get you something
to drink, for you?

A glass of Sauvignon
blanc, please.

Sauvignon blanc.

-Can I get a Mountain Dew?
-We both love to do the Dew.

I'll have a gin martini
with olives, thanks.

Absolutely. Thanks.

I might be a tiny bit drunk.
Give me a martini.

Sauvignon blanc and gin
and tonic with olives.

Gin martini with olives.

Absolutely.

Okay,
there's wine glasses out there.

Okay.

I'll give you the gin
and tonic real quick.

Do you have any little
beverage napkins in here

-that I can--
-Don't worry about it.

Okay. Thank you. Here you go.

-Thank you so much.
-You're welcome.

That looks different.
I don't think that's--

Sauvignon blanc?

-Is that a martini?
-No.

I think it's a gin and tonic.

-Is it good? The drink is okay?
-Well, this isn't a martini.

-So demanding.
-Just gin and vermouth.

-Yeah, sorry.
-That's okay.

I didn't make the drink.
I just passed it on.

Oh, okay. You just brought it.
All right.

Yeah. Just delivery.
Don't k*ll the messenger.

So she said this-- brought it
to her and she was like-- I said,

"Is your drink okay?"
And she goes,

"Oh, well, it's not a martini,"

and I'm like,
"You didn't say that."

Oh, that's a gin and tonic.
Did she ask for a martini?

-Apparently.
-Okay.

Can you go up in the upper bar

and look for olives
in a skinnier jar [inaudible]?

Okay. Okay.

When you hear gin
and tonic and olives,

usually it's like
that Sesame Street.

One of these things
does not belong here.

It's either gin and tonic and
lime or gin martini with olives.

I should've known better,
but I'm a little overwhelmed.

I swear we're coming.

Yeah, no worries.

-Here you go.
-Thank you.

-Better?
-Yes, yes.

I can start taking 'em out
when you're ready.

All right.
This is the principles here.

We're gonna give 'em
the well done.

This first dinner
is extremely important.

Cooking exactly what the guests

want will guarantee
their happiness,

and that's all
that matters to me.

-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.

Serve from the left,
ladies first.

Here you go.

-Wow.
-Oh, my gosh.

It looks beautiful.

Here you have a seared filet
with Dijon mashed potato

-and buttered asparagus.
-Yum.

How is your steak, everybody?
Is it cooked all right?

It is delicious.

Good, I'm so glad
to hear that. Good.

Yeah, thank you.

-Thanks, No Pants.
-Cheers.

-They're so happy, by the way.
-Good. Thank you.

Have you guys been practicing,
like, the bowline and stuff?

Yeah, I have.
I mean, like, to be honest,

I'm just really
too exhausted, but--

No. No. Right here.
In, around,

and back in the same exact place
that you came from, right?

You've got 24 hours in a day.

Surely you can learn
a simple knot.

I'm tired.

My brain is just overwhelmed
with so much information.

This is hard work.

I need you guys
to really f---ing get with it.

Coming up…

Bruno, unhook it.
Unhook it. Take it off.

No, no, no. Stop.
Stop. Stop moving.

-Bruno.
-He's just f---ing lost.

Reykjavik's cool.
You should definitely go.

[sighs] With these
stewardesses I just feel like

if I don't check
something myself,

I cannot be certain
that it's correct.

Basically, I'm working alone.

I'm gonna leave you a list
to set up breakfast.

You'll on deck at 6:30.

-Okay.
-Goodnight, guys.

That went well. [sighs]

How are you doing, Nico?

-Good, doing good.
-Your first time down here?

-I've been down here months.
-Wow.

Yeah, just working
on a 100-foot.

It was an unpleasant
few months, yeah.

Especially, you know,
I got a lot going on

with my family and everything,

so I flew down right
after everything, so, you know.

I know.
I'm sorry for that, buddy.

Nah.

You know,
life gets crazy sometimes.

Last November, unfortunately,
my 21-year-old little brother

had fallen from a balcony
and hit his head pretty good,

and yeah, unfortunately
he passed away,

and, you know,
he was my best friend.

You think that, you know,
maybe you're just dreaming.

Maybe that this isn't real.

You know, I still try
and call his phone

and he doesn't pick up,
and he's never going to.

Can't imagine what you went
through, but my heart goes out.

Yeah, thank you. Thank you.

It's hard for me
to just be here at all.

It's been a f---ing
hard three months.

[melancholy music playing]

♪♪

[bright music playing]

♪♪

-How are you feeling?
-Good.

-All right.
-I need a coffee.

-Okay, sure.
-Good morning, good morning.

-Did you sleep all right?
-Yeah, I slept good.

-Here's your coffee.
-Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

You haven't done any
breakfast orders, right?

-No.
-They all have coffees?

-Yep.
-Good job.

Hey.

Look at how coordinated
we are.

Should we go outside?

Tong selection
is very important.

Who likes bacon the most?
I'll put it here.

Omelet? Omelet? Omelet?

-I'll have a well done omelet.
-Sure.

Nothing like them crispy eggs.

Five omelets, one well done,

and one split onto two plates.

-Okay.
-Hi, sweet pea.

-Hi. Good morning.
-You look so sharp,

-but that's not what we're--
-[inaudible]. Yeah, I know.

I was like, "I have no idea
what's going on."

-Yep.
-I will be back.

-Okay.
-Thanks, Kate.

Oh, she is so funny.
Like a Disney sidekick.

With these stewardesses we're
talking 50 shades of green,

but at least Bri knows
what uniform to put on.

-Thank you.
-Ooh, here we go.

-Whoa.
-Oh, wow.

-This is art.
-And what's on deck today?

Beach barbecue for lunch.

They're gonna inflate
the climbing wall and the slide.

Breakfast is served.
We're done.

Babe, be careful.

Two. One. See ya.

Yahoo!

Woo!

Yeah!

Once you're done helping
the girls unload,

I'm gonna need you back up here

to set up the slide
and the rock wall.

All right.

These are for serving food
at the beach.

So the flies don't get
on the food.

-Yep.
-Do you need help?

I love beach picnics.

I mean, we barely even get out
on deck so this is, like,

our only time
to escape the madness

and the interior of the boat.

-Here, can you take those up?
-Yes.

So yeah, I need tables
and chairs and canopy.

You first.

-What's the name of this again?
-Canopy.

Oh, can of pee.

I'm gonna go to the beach
and set up.

-Okay.
-Just stay on guest service.

The water's really clear.

This motherf---er.

You two are going back in.

-Cool. That's everything.
-Got everything?

There's picnic tables
right there.

You two go on back
to the yacht.

So-- okay, we're gonna go then.

[sighs] Okay.

So how's your day
been so far?

It's pretty much impossible
to be perfect and learning.

It's hard to do a charter
when they don't know

what they're doing,
and it's not like

I'm gonna let the guests
have a bad experience,

or it's not like
I want a bad tip.

-Yeah.
-Got the cookies, yeah.

We got the corn on the cob.

Got the green bean salad
and gouda burgers.

Choice of toppings.

-Is that gouda?
-Yeah.

Yum.

That has to stay
like that though.

Yeah. Grab it.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

-Careful stepping on.
-Oh, that was slippery.

-Back it up. Back it in.
-Good work.

-Welcome to the beach.
-Oh, all right.

-All right.
-Enjoy your beach day.

-Thank you, guys.
-Holla.

-[indistinct]
-All right, all right.

-Yeah, you can go head back.
-Are you guys hungry?

-Yeah, let's do it.
-Yeah. We're ready for you.

-All right, great.
-Badonkadonk.

-Thank you.
-These look delicious.

-Nico. Nico, Lee.
-Go ahead, Capt.

Yeah, let's launch some toys.

We're gonna put the slide,
the wall, and the sea bobs in.

Copy that. Oh, man.

It is amazing.

-It's really good.
-Okay.

-Bruno.
-Yeah?

-See those blue lines?
-Yeah?

Put those through
the hawsepipe,

and you need
to tie them on the boat.

So you want me to go
to the water?

Yeah, get in the water.

So-- okay. Sh--.

Unhook the-- Bruno.

Bruno, unhook it.

Unhook it. Take it off.
Let's move.

It is hard to understand,
like, so much.

No, no, no. Stop. Stop.

Stop moving.
Stop right there. Stop. Listen.

-Bruno. Bruno.
-He's just f---ing lost.

-Nico. Nico, Kate.
-Go ahead, Kate.

Yeah, hi. I was just wondering

if you want
to bring Brianna over.

Absolutely. I'll go grab her.
I don't mind at all.

-Thank you.
-I'm one charter in and I

have eight more to go.

I don't see how I'm gonna
make it a whole season.

Go ahead and jump on, Bri.

Mm-hmm.

You all right?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Sh--.

I bashed my hand pretty good.

-Oh, f---.
-No, it's more my wrist.

Make sure she doesn't
fall off this thing.

Oh, God. I already fell.

-You did?
-Yeah, I fell coming on.

I've got Jen and Brianna here.
I'm gonna head back to the boat.

-Okay.
-But have a great time.

-Thank you.
-Thank you so much, Kate.

Mm-hmm.

The only time I run
is to escape a beach party.

Oh, God. Get me off the island.

-Man.
-How's it going over there?

-I'm a solo stew right now.
-Oh.

This is borderline dangerous.

Dangerous for my health
and mental well-being.

You know, any issues that Nico
and I may have had in the past

we're gonna have to
leave them in the past

because at this point
we really only have each other

because he has experience,

and that's more than I can say
about the rest of the crew.

It's like Hell.

F---ing Hell.

-This season on "Below Deck"…
-Are you ready?

You think you know somebody?
Take them to Saint Martin

and you'll really
get to know someone.

We need to be seated.

-I'm just there for the tip.
-Amazing.

You made a cucumber gimlet.
Guys, my day is made.

-Yay.
-We set a new record.

Yee-haw.

Here's to a
spectacular season.

-I'm not your bitch, bitch.
-Open it!

These are, without a doubt,
the most demanding guests.

What do you think, Brad?

Truth be told,
it's not cooked enough.

It's not my job to tell a chef
how to do his.

You should do the caviar
and oysters together.

If you're gonna throw
that thing, get it to

the g*dd*mn dock.

My deck crew is greener
than a leprechaun's d*ck.

You know who's really cute?

-Who?
-Bri. I f---ing want to bang her.

Ooh, we're getting
loose tonight.

L-l-loose.

Don't screw the crew
doesn't apply on this boat.

It's a loose rule.

Can you let me know
if I have any nip slips?

I will sleep with Jesus
on a sailboat.

What would Jesus do? Me.

-I've got no bow thruster.
-Oh, f---.

I don't know if he's gonna
lose his hand or what.

I don't really think Nico's
the best leader.

That anchor drop
was f---ing embarrassing.

I'm going to f---ing
unleash on you,

you stupid f---ing bitch.

If it were just me,
I would feel bad firing them.

I'm not gonna talk back
to you. I'm sorry.

Is this good for you?

Captain Lee loves
firing people.

I don't need your sh-- either!

There's gonna be a change in
the configuration of this crew.

If tomorrow I'm not
boatswain, I quit.

-I got a spring line out there.
-Watch the bow! Watch the bow!

-I need the spring line--
-Okay, okay.

-Did we hit something?
-g*dd*mn it!