02x03 - Setting the Table

[bunniefuu]

Good morning, Monstropolis.

- I'm Jack.
- I'm Jill.

And welcome to I Scream...

U Scream!

The citizens of Monstropolis
remain bitterly divided

over the future of this
so-called "Laugh Power".

Joining us via ScreamCam to discuss it

are James P. Sullivan of Monsters, Inc.

and Johnny Worthington of FearCo.

Thank you both for joining us.

Enough groveling.

[CHUCKLES] It's called
being polite, Jill.

Let's start with you, Mr. Sullivan.

- Oh, please, call me Sulley.
- JILL: Oh, no.

You are not charming me

into accepting your
dangerous Laugh Power.

Oh, Laugh Power isn't dangerous.

- JACK: Exactly.
- It's reliable, it's clean.

- So you're saying screams are dirty?
- No. [STAMMERS]

Jill, that's not what he said.

I'm sure Mr. Worthington
would like to respond.

Please, Jill, call me Johnny.

Oh! [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] I will.

- Go ahead, Johnny.
- JACK: Ew.

Jill, I've known Sulley a long time,

and I'm sure he believes
what he's saying

about Laugh Power, but you're right.

- JILL: Sure.
- It's untested.

- Whoa. Wait a minute.
- You've had your time.

Johnny?

Maybe it'll be viable down the road,

- but today...
- Yes, but...

... my neighbors and I just
want safe and reliable power.

But laughs are safe. You see...

Mr. Sullivan,

why should anyone believe you?

- Whoa, wait!
- You got expelled from Monsters University

- for cheating in the Scare Games, didn't you?
- [SULLEY GRUMBLING]

And more recently, you were
mentored by convicted criminal

and disgraced former Monsters, Inc. CEO

Henry J. Waternoose.

SULLEY: Ugh. Jill...

So why should we trust you?

I say, "Once a liar and a cheat,

always a liar and a cheat".

And if there's one thing
Jill knows about,

it's lying and cheating in college.

- That's two things.
- [STAMMERING]

And we're out of time.

We'll be back after a
word from our sponsors,

who also don't care for Jack.

They said that?

So that could have gone better.

Yep. Worst interview
I've seen since, uh...

Nope, that was it.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[CLEARS THROAT] May I present...

So why am I looking at a coconut?

You know, I ask that myself

every time I wake up in a palm tree,

but this... this is your invitation

to Fritz's surprise
work anniversary party.

[SHUSHES] It's a surprise. For me.

Surprise?

- Surprise.
- Surprise.

It's tonight at the Shrieky Tiki.

Oh, uh, tonight?



- be there.
- Oh, yeah. Count me in.

Yeah, I actually have something tonight.

Something very important.
Can't be changed.

Oh...

Oh, it's too bad that you
won't be there, Tylor.

I'm making a big announcement,

one that is going to affect everyone.

[GULPS] A big announcement?

[GASPS] Retirement? Sir.

I hope you'll remember who was
loyal around here and who was not.

[SIGHS] My time has come.
I must call Mother.

So what are the big plans, Double T?

The big... Oh, well... [STAMMERS]

You know what? Look at the time.

We've got to... We've got to
get to that Laugh Floor, huh?

They are not paying us to watch TV.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Whoo!

Hmm.

So, are you ready to tell me what
your big, secret plans are now?

Mmm.

Is this flavor new?

Tastes like sour milk.

Mmm. So good.

- [SCREAMS]
- You ready to tell me now?

Jeez. No.

[SCREAMS]

You ready to tell me now?

- [BOTH GRUNTING]
- [HORNS HONKING]

Or now...

- Or now!
- [SCREAMS]

Why is it so important that I tell
you what my plans are anyway?

- [GASPS] Red light!
- [TIRES SCREECHING]

Because we're best friends, Tylor.

I tell you everything about my life.

[GRUNTS, GASPS]

[SCREAMING]

You know what? Forget it.

If you really don't want to tell me

what your big, secret
plans are, that's cool.

[SIGHS] Thank you.

- [TIRES SCREECH]
- [GRUNTS]

- I know what you're doing.
- Hmm?

- What?
- [GRUNTS]

What? What am I doing?

- [TIRES SCREECH]
- [GRUNTS]

- Cute.
- Hmm. What am I doing?

What am I doing?

- What am I doing?
- Fine, fine.

Fine. You win. You want to
know what I'm doing tonight?

I'm having dinner with
[WHISPERS] Johnny Worthington.

- Johnny Worthington!
- [GASPS]

FearCo Johnny Worthington?

[SHUSHES] Hey! Quiet, quiet, Quiet.

We talked a little
at the C.R.E.E.P. show,

- and afterwards he invited me to dinner.
- Uh-uh.

Well, his assistant did.

[GASPS] Oh, my gosh.
What do you think he wants?

I think he just wants to get to know me.

[GASPS] Do you think Johnny
wants to be your BFF?

Because he should know we're BFFs.

And that last "F" means forever.

So you're stuck with me, well, forever.

Oh, oh, that's what
you're worried about?

Val, come on. You and
I are a team, Okay?

I am not going anywhere.

Pinky swear?

Pinky swear.

- Huh.
- What?

I never noticed,

but for a huge monster, you've
got incredibly tiny hands.

Uh, they are perfectly normal-sized.

Thank you very much.

Sure. Right.

- But...
- Oh, so teeny.

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHUCKLES]

[BLOWS, INHALES]

[DOOR CREAKS]

Hmm. Hmm, hmm, hmm.

Mr. Worthington is not arrived yet.

- Michel. [SNAPS FINGERS] Table.
- Oui. Right this way, monsieur.

- You make my four hearts b*at faster, my love.
- [LAUGHS]

Are your kids going to eat?

Happy anniversary, dear.

I love you the mostest.
Yes, I do. [KISSES]

Monsieur.

- Ah. Thank you very much.
- [CLEARS THROAT]

That is Mr. Worthington's seat.

[GASPS] Oh, it is? Oh, so sorry.

I'll just, I'll just, uh...
I'll just move over here.

[FARTING NOISE]

That was the seat, not me.

- Hmm.
- See? Look. Huh?

- JOHNNY: And there he is.
- Oh.

Tylor Tuskmon.

Oh, Mr. Worth... Oh!

Uh, so, so, Johnny. I'm so, so sorry.

Sorry I kept you waiting.

Look at you in a suit.

Looking sharp, kid.

Thanks. It's my grandfather's.

- He's dead.
- [CUTLERY CLANKS]

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- TYLOR: Don't be.

He d*ed a long time
ago, so it's not sad.

I mean, you know, it was sad
at the time. Is this going well?

I feel like I'm over-sharing.

- You are.
- Uh...

[GROANS] Long day.

- Let's order some drinks, shall we?
- Yes, let's.

I mean, you know, if
that's standard protocol.

I mean, I don't know.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

- Oh.
- TYLOR: No, no, no, no.

No drinks? Okay.

Excuse me. Come on, Sulley.

Let's go. Come on. Class it up.

JOHNNY: Want to start with
some appetizers then?

- Oh, no.
- Not an appetizer fan either?

No, no, no. Yeah, no.

Appetizers are great.

I love app... I just...
I need to wash my hands.

That's, that's, uh, standard protocol.

Excuse me. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. Why are you here?

Whoa, oh! I thought you were
all going to the Shrieky Tiki.

We did. But then Roze said that
tiki bars were cloying reminders

of the dangers
of cultural appropriation.

We couldn't have lived
with ourselves if we stayed.

- So you came here?
- I didn't know you'd be here.

If you recall, you weren't exactly
forthcoming this morning.

Oh, by the way, you have
to try the phlegm brulee.

I hear it's... [BLOWS KISS] Chef's kiss.

Okay, okay. It's all gonna be okay.

No one saw me. We just have to...

- Ty-Ty!
- Oops.

You cancelled your very
important plans for me

and even came to the wrong restaurant
knowing we would end up here.

Wow, you're good!

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I know
you love a good surprise.

You look spiffy, but
you're dressed all wrong.

You know, working at MIFT
these past 40 years

has been like a vacation
for me every day.

So I asked everyone to dress like
they were coming to my beach party!

BOTH: [IN SING-SONG]
Oh, I'm having a beach party!

And if any of you want to
feel a nice ocean breeze,

I'm happy to blow in your face.

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

Oh, I'm so glad you came because
we're about to start the toasts.

Sulley, forget that you were part of

one of the worst moments
in television history.

Just relax and, you know, have a drink.

[SLURPS]

MIKE: When I sing scareoke,

- people are not gonna know what hit them.
- [SIGHS]

Okay, so I think I have a plan.

Me, too. You need to clone yourself.

What? No. No. I was thinking

I'd go back and wrap
things up with Johnny.

- Then once he leaves...
- Clone yourself.

No, you can help make sure
I don't get caught.

Okay, well, since the science doesn't

exist for my plan yet, let's do yours.

We're a go for operation
"Don't Get Caught".

- Does it need a name?
- Of course.

Hmm. We'll probably
need code names, too.

I'll be Unicorn Sparkle.

- You can be Donut Head.
- Donut Head?

Yeah, I'm not sure we
need code names for this.

Fine. I'll be Donut Head, but
it literally makes no sense.

Wish me luck.

[PANTING]

[CLATTERING]

[SIGHS] Hands are clean
and very normal-sized.

I hope you don't mind.

I took the liberty of ordering.

I can tell you feel
a little uncomfortable here,

so let me cut to the chase.

When I saw you in our Scare Simulator
at the C.R.E.E.P. show,

I knew I was watching something special.

You could be one of the greats.

A legend.

A legend? [LAUGHS]

Well, yeah, I don't know about that.

Hey, don't be so modest.

You know, you remind me a lot
of myself when I was your age.

- I do?
- After I graduated Monsters U...

- Thanks, that's, uh...
- ... my father wanted me

to join the family company.

- I said, "Join FearCo? Ugh".
- Oh. You're still going.

"Dad, that's your thing".

But he said,

"Scaring is our thing".

Thank you. I'm... That's enough.

MICHEL: Oui, monsieur.

My father always said, "You can't escape

who you are, so just embrace it".

Just embrace it.

And to this day, I carry a memento
around to remember that.

TYLOR: Whoa! Your dad's rookie card?

That's... that's worth a fortune.

That's why I always keep it right here.

It reminds me where I came from.

You know, we're a Feartune 500
company now,

but I guess I still see FearCo
as a little family business.

Tylor?

Oh, uh, family business.
We have a hardware store.

Uh-huh.

Do you wanna work
in a hardware store, Tylor?

Or do you want to be
a top Scarer at FearCo?

That's why I invited you to dinner.

I wanna offer you a job.

- Job?
- A job.

[STAMMERING] A job. Like a "job" job?

That's... Wow. That... You just...

Okay, let me just dry off and I will

get right back to you.

Job, job, FearCo job.

[PANTS] Okay, okay.

[PANTING]

A scarer job at FearCo.

That's good. Is that good?

ROGER: That poem and
this interpretive dance

merely scratch the surface
of what Fritz means to me.

Someone who inspires us
to greatness every day.

- To Fritz!
- OTHERS: To Fritz!

I would not want to follow that.

- Tylor. You're up.
- [GRUNTS] Whoa.

Uh...

Huh? Oh...

Okay, well, first, you know,
everything Roger said.

[GIGGLES]

- Uh, what? Stretch?
- [MOUTHING]

What are you... What are
you... Fritz is stretchy?

Oh, uh, Fritz,

you know, is flexible, a very
important trait in a leader.

Uh, you know,

I used to work with him at MIFT,

but now I'm a Jokester, and I
am really, really happy there.

- Hmm.
- TYLOR: Uh, mostly.

I mean, no one loves
their job every day.

Um, well, you know, except maybe Fritz.

Yes, I absolutely do.

Uh, anyway, yeah,

I always saw Fritz as a father figure,
so I am reminded of something

my own father used to say.

Uh, yeah, he used to say,
"You can't escape who you are..."

I can't escape this toast.

"You, you can't escape who you are,

so just embrace it".

I gotta pee.

[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

That was weird, right?

[PANTING]

Ah, all dry now. Sorry about that.

And, uh... Oh, yes, yeah,
I brought you a drink.

Uh, it's half-full.

Half-full because I am
an optimist. [CHUCKLES]

Thanks. Look, I'm sure my
offer came out of the blue.

I didn't mean to overwhelm you,

but I wrote down what a starting salary

as a FearCo Scarer would look like.

Oh, wow, that's...

Look at all the zeroes you put
on the end of those numbers.

Trust me, you're worth it.

MICHEL: Ahem. Pardon.

A call for Monsieur Tuskmon.

- For me?
- Oui.

Sure. Yes. Um... [CLEARS THROAT]

- Hello.
- VAL: Donut Head.

It's Unicorn Sparkle.

Uh, sorry, I need to take this.

- No problem.
- It's a lady...

VAL: It's Unicorn Sparkle.

I mean, it's my mom.
My mom, of course, is a lady.

VAL: What? No, this is Val.

Those were our code names, remember?

Wait, your mom calls you Donut Head?

What is going on?

We're taking a group picture,
and Fritz wants you in it.

Ugh. Fine.

Okay, just tell him I'll be right there.

Tell him yourself. You're
right in front of me.

Bye.

Ty-Ty. Val. Come on.

We've been waiting for ya.

Nice tie, Tuskmon.

- [GASPS]
- Okay, let's hurry up and take this picture,

so Fritz can tell us he's retiring.

All right. First, the lighting and
the composition must be perfect.

Happy. Yes! Happier!

You can do it!

No, no, no, no, no.

These are uninspired garbage.

We must dig deeper.

Wow. Looks like we got
ourselves a real professional.

[GASPS] Oh, I am
very happy with this one.

Who is this gorgeous creature
in front of me?

[GRUNTS]

[EXCLAIMING]

Great. Thanks again.

Now, we must take a silly one.

- Silly one?
- Silly one.

This guy's a pro.

PIERRE: Three, two, one. Silly!

Now you're afraid. There
is something chasing you.

Now you are chasing something.

Now you really need to use
the restroom, but it is closed.

Now they opened it again. Closed it.

Opened it. Closed it.

People are laughing at you.

You're ashamed.

You ate something that
does not agree with you,

but you agree with it.

- You just ate something crunchy.
- [PANTING]

- Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
- [GASPS]

So how's your mom?

Uh, she's okay, I guess.

Uh, why?

Well, she just called you.

Oh, right, that. Yeah, she's
just... She's co-dependent.

So always calling.

You know, I think I see
what's going on here.

- You do?
- You're playing hardball.

- No, no.
- I respect the move.

Never take the first offer.

Very smart.

So, what do you say now?

- [VAL CLEARS THROAT]
- [GASPS]

[IN FRENCH ACCENT] Oh,
excusez-moi, Monsieur Tuskmon.

Your car is being towed,

because it's on fire.

Dangerous fire.

So big, so fiery. Not tres bon.

- So you need to move it right away.
- [GRUNTS]

Come with me. Excusez-moi. Pardon-moi.

- Uh, waiter. Can I order some...
- No!

[GASPS] This place really is French.

Towing a car on fire?

That's what you came up with?

I was thinking on my feet.

Anyway, we're about to start scareoke,

and Fritz wants to sing a song
with everyone, including you.

What song do you want?

I don't know. Anything.

Screamie In a Bottle?

Really? Is that even in your range?

[SIGHS] Sorry about that. It turns out

it wasn't even my car being towed.

- Hmm. And on fire.
- And on fire.

Yep, yep. Not my car, because
I don't even have a car.

You know, I just, uh,
just remembered that.

Wow! Smells good in here.

Is that screamed spinach?

- Ooh.
- JOHNNY: That waiter.

That was your friend from
the football game, wasn't it?

[CHUCKLES] You think my
friend is a waiter here?

Uh, no, I seriously doubt it.

Tylor. I know everyone who works here.

[WHISPERS] Tell her she's got
to work on her accent.

- [SIGHS]
- Hey, I see what this is.

Yeah. I... Sorry.

This was all a...

An elaborate ruse
to get you a company car.

Am I right?

[LAUGHS]

- Guilty.
- Let me guess.

- You probably want something with a lot of power too.
- Vroom, vroom.

You can see by these speed
lines, it'll be very fast.

[LOUD MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]

Ugh, seriously?

What is going on?

- What?
- What? You don't hear that?

Uh, maybe, yeah. I... I hear some...

I'm so sorry. It's never
this loud in here.

- I'll take care...
- No, no, no.

Let me handle this.

You know what? Why
not get a dessert going?

I hear the phlegm brulee is...
[BLOWS KISS] Chef's kiss.

Uh, you probably knew
that. Be right back.

[LAUGHS]

- [CLANGING]
- [SCREAMS]

- Occupied.
- [KISSES]

♪ Sleepin' soundly right here ♪

♪ And now we'll creep in
and fill his night with fear ♪

♪ So bring your big roar
and your sharp claws too ♪

♪ We're gonna scare this kid
and his sister, too ♪

- MIKE: Come on, now...
- [POWERS OFF]

- What the...
- That's a bit rude.

DUNCAN: Oh, Tylor did it.

What gives, man? It
was just getting good.

Just getting good?

Uh, yeah. Yeah. Sorry.

Well, I just... I shut that
off because, um... Fritz!

Fritz! Hey, didn't you have

- a big announcement to make?
- [GASPS]

That's right.

[LAUGHS] Your big announcement.

- Everyone quiet!
- [MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]

[CHUCKLES]

Fritz, the floor is yours.

Okay. Thank you all
for this wonderful party.

[SIGHS] Wow, this is hard.

Today isn't just my


It's also the end of an era for me.

Now, some of you have probably
been expecting this for a while.

But here we go. [INHALES DEEPLY]

I am cutting back to one
Drooler Cooler a day.

- Huh?
- [PARTY HORNS BLOWING]

I didn't think I could get through that.

Oi, you said we'd pop him after
he made the big announcement.

Yeah, I meant when he
announced his retirement.

I'm not retiring.

Not retiring? But...

[STAMMERS] I'm not getting your job?

Oh, boy. I can't afford that hot tub.

I bought three hot tubs.
I gotta call Mother.

Ugh, she's gotta cancel the order.

Ugh. [SCREAMS] Get outta my way!

[SCREAMING]

[GASPS]

Mmm-hmm.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

- Uh...
- Sullivan.

- Johnny?
- Well, Johnny Worthington.

To what do we owe the displeasure?

I was just having dinner by myself.

- MIKE: Probably because no one likes you.
- SULLEY: Mike.

Look, I get why you're mad.

What happened on Jack
and Jill this morning...

That wasn't fair.

- I'm sorry.
- Huh. I appreciate that.

Oh! And congrats on your
presentation at C.R.E.E.P.

I heard it got a lot of buzz.

You know, we really should sit down and

talk about how we could work together.

Maybe kickstart an energy roundtable.

You know, see if Laugh
Power has potential.

Potential? Ha! Of
course it has potential.

It's the future.

Thanks, Johnny. I'd like that.

Hi, Johnny Worthington.

- It was, uh, Taylor, right?
- Oh, um, Tylor.

Sorry. Tylor.

Yeah, no, I... I get, uh,
I get Taylor a lot, so...

Nice to see you.

I hope we bump into
each other again soon.

Good night, everybody.

- FRITZ: Bye.
- Yeah. I'd like to bump into you.

In my car.

You're not actually gonna sit down

with that no-neck narcissist, are you?

Mikey. He's a changed monster.

College was 20 years and 200 pounds ago.

Maybe we can bring
some laughs to FearCo.

- Ugh.
- Oh!

I think you're up at scareoke again.

[GASPS] I Scare You, Babe?

Wow. We really got
to update these songs.

Okay? All right. I'll go sing it.

But then we're talking
more about Johnny.

Maybe I'll sing it twice.

Got to feel out the room.

[SIGHS]

Oh.

- Did you taste this?
- Mmm-hmm. Sure did.

[BOTH BLOW KISSES]

BOTH: Chef's kiss.

I can't believe we pulled this off.

I mean, I couldn't have done Operation
"Don't Get Caught" without you.

[GASPS] You think we can
keep our code names?

Uh, only if I get to be Unicorn Sparkle.

- [BOTH GIGGLE]
- [PIERRE CLEARS THROAT]

You left this in the closet, monsieur.

Oh, uh, right.

Pardon-moi, monsieur. We are closing,

and as you can see, I have plans.

[LAUGHS]

- [LAUGHS]
- [GASPS]

Oh!

We'll take our food to go.

ROZE: Pierre.

[GASPS]

What's that?

Huh. It's Johnny's Scare card.

He, uh, must have dropped it.

Okay, so... Tell me everything.

What did Johnny want?

Uh, he offered me a job

as a Scarer at FearCo.

What?

What did you tell him?

[EXHALES] Things got so crazy,

I didn't have a chance to answer.

Well, what are you gonna tell him?