01x07 - Campaign in the Neck

[bunniefuu]

Please, Rae, it does
not matter who wins

these student council elections.

I mean, the president
never gets anything done.

We need a president who
will actually do something.

This place is falling apart.

It's not that bad.

♪ Uno, dos, tres... ♪

Come on, Rae, look at
these lockers. Yeah, I know.

It's horrible the way
they just open up like that.

Ooh, girl, look... The
new Mary J. Blige CD.

Oh! I got to borrow this one.

You know what, it
would be so easy

to just get them fixed.

All you have to
do is write a letter

to the school
maintenance department.

It's right there in section
G-42 of the student manual.

You know the student manual?

You know, you should just run.

Rae, there's no running
in the school hallways.

Section I-14, "hallways:
do's and don'ts."

I meant you should
run for student president.

Do's and don'ts.

I don't know, Rae.

I'm not the kind of
person people vote for.

You know, you've got to
be, like, in the "in crowd"

and who wants that?

Yeah.

I do.

I don't know, I mean

I know I'd be, like, a
really good president, but...

"But"? But what, Chelsea?

I mean, you know
about all the problems...

And when you get
elected could you please

do something about that stench?

Ben sturky!

Student council elections?

I think I'm going to run.

I smell victory.

Oh, I'm sure everybody does.

Oh! Thanks!

Rock the vote.

How about wash the vote?

You know, Rae, I was
thinking I wouldn't be

that bad at it.

I could be a really
good president.

You know, I'm friendly,
I'm loyal, I'm energetic.

I just described
a dog, didn't I?

Well, yeah.

But, you know, people love dogs.

Think about it, Chels...
You against Ben sturky?

Girl, you do the math.

Actually, math wasn't
my very best subject.

Okay, Rae, I want to do it.

You totally convinced me.

I want to run.

Oh, I never even
would have thought

about doing this
if it wasn't for you.

Thank you.

Yeah... girl.

What are friends for?

♪ Let's go ♪

♪ if you could gaze
into the future ♪

♪ future, future ♪

♪ you might think life
would be a breeze ♪

♪ life is a breeze ♪

♪ seeing trouble
from a distance ♪

♪ yeah ♪ go, Rae.

♪ But it's not that easy ♪

♪ oh, no ♪
take it to the bridge now.

♪ I try to save the situation ♪

♪ then I end up misbehaving ♪

♪ hey, now, say, now ♪

♪ about to put it
down, yeah, come on ♪

♪ and ride with the break, now ♪

♪ in that the future
looks great now ♪

♪ and everything's
gonna change now ♪

♪ let's keep it going ♪
♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's the future I can see ♪

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's so mysterious to me... ♪

Yep, that's me.

Eddie, you should
have seen this vision.

Chelsea got three
votes and Ben got 187.

Did you tell her?

No, I couldn't do that.

You know Chelsea.

I mean, she'll take
it all personally.

I wouldn't do that to her.

Oh... look how cute she
looks passing out her fliers.

Who wouldn't vote for that?

My pistachio
praline triple scoop!

Oh, Mr. Lawler...

I'm so sorry.

Oh, no problem.

Ah... what the heck.

How does she get two votes?

No, three votes.

I'm on the fence.

Okay, Chels...

This is how it breaks down.

In our school,
there are 64 jocks



and three Jamaican
exchange students.

Now, in order to get their votes

you got to speak their language.

I mean, you gots
to walk the walk

and talk the talk.

Or walk the walk
and chit the chat.

I just added my
own little flair.

Yes, you sure did.

Don't.

We're going to
start with the jocks.

Okay, there's two things
you got to know, Chels.

You gots to keep it simple

and you gots to grunt.

Yo.

Yo.

Yo-yo! Yo-yo!

Ouch!

Yo!

Vote for Chelsea!

Are we going to win this thing?

Are we going to win this thing?

Yeah, coach... we're
going to win this thing!

Go, go, go, go...
Eddie, watch it!

Your aunt Lois is in that vase!

Yo, ma!

Sorry, they were just
helping me with my campaign.

Vote for Chelsea!

Go... Chelsea!

That was my jock!

And it was very good.

Help her.

Well, you know you
got my vote, baby.

Well, at least you know you
got the round people's vote.

Okay...

We're going to work
on the hip-hoppers.

Oh, let me do that one.

♪ We're talking about
my girl, Chelsea, here ♪

♪ I mean, she's in
the heezy forsheezy ♪

♪ she's off the chain ♪

♪ she got my vote ♪

♪ she got my props and... ♪

She got my shirt.

What are you doing in my shirt?

Mom... now, we're just
using it for the campaign.

No big deal.

♪ Yo-ho, mom ♪

♪ I was just borrowing
your shirty basirty ♪

♪ because mine was
all dirty basirty, yeah. ♪

Can you use the same word twice?

Uh, yeah, Rae...
I'm off the fence.

Okay, Chels...

Maybe we should work
on the Jamaican vote.

Oh, now, that one's easy.

You want a Jamaican vote, child?

Me gonna tell you how.

Come closer and listen
to the island breezes.

Ooh...

Come closer and listen
to the island breezes.

Methinks a vote for Chelsea

is a vote for better lockers...

A new bike rack...

And jerk chicken in
the cafeteria, mon.

Boo-boo!

Hey, Chelsea, listen to me.

Come here. Excuse me.

The Jamaicans are over there.

All right, Chelsea...
Nerd votes.

Go get them.

Greetings, guys.

Chelsea Daniels here.

I tell you, to vote for me

and I'll increase
the volume of space

in all of your lockers.

Well...

Since volume is length
times width times height

and height is a constant

I severely doubt you
can increase the size

of our lockers.

Oh, okay... Keep up...

Keep that snoring
thing going, you guys.

It really drives girls wild.

What can I do to get your vote?

It'd be great

if we had some better
food around here.

I'm going to march
into that Kitchen

and I'm going to close
the door behind me

and I'm gonna tell that cook

"I'm not leaving here

"until you give us
vegetables that are green

and meat that's not."

He's got my vote.

Go, Ben... Go, Ben.

Hey, how we going to
compete with that, Rae?

He's stinkin' his
way to the top.

He's not there yet, okay?

We can't just give up
and let Chelsea lose.

She'll be totally humiliated.

Hey, guys...

All right, before you
vote for Ben... you know.

Let me tell you some
of Chelsea's ideas.

First, you know how sometimes
the ceiling falls down on us?

Well, it turns out, like

it violates all these,
like, laws and things.

And, um, Chelsea knows
just who to complain to.

I don't care about that.

Really? Well, joy,
what do you care about?

Cause whatever it is,
girl, Chelsea will hook it up.

I care about getting these
library books back on time.

Really?

Well, um, it's a deal...
If you vote for Chelsea.

Don't tell her.

Cool. I'll vote for her.

Okay.

Hey, if you walk
my dog after school

I'll vote for Chelsea, too.

Deal.

Just don't tell her.

Uh, Rae, what are you doing?

I'm getting some votes.

Hey, it's two more than we had.

What's a couple of extra chores?

Just a couple of
extra chores, huh?

Okay, consider
your wheels oiled.

Vote Chelsea. Next.

Uh, one tuba washed and buffed.

Got it... vote Chelsea.

Don't tell her.

Keep it moving,
people. Keep it moving.

Keep... Keep it moving, Chels.

What you doing here, sweetheart?

Rae, we always meet for lunch.

You know, I've been meaning

to talk to you about that.

We need to mix it up.

Get to see new people.

And you know what they say.

When you love someone,
you got to let them go.

I love you, Chelsea, go.

Rae, why are all
these people lined up?

They're your public.

Everybody!

I would like you

to meet the new
president of these united...

Classes... Chelsea...

She's over here.

Daniels!

Wow... looks like things
are starting to get better.

I'm going to get some
more fliers, okay?

Okay.

See? You see how happy she is?

And you know what?

It really didn't really
take all that much work.

Baby-sit my little sister.

One at a time..

One at a time,
people... One at a time!

Okay, uh, one
bike wash. Got you.

Vote Chelsea.

Hello.

Yes, it's true.

One vote for Chelsea
gets you a favor.

Yeah, sure, Eddie will
take you out on Saturday.

What?!

Oh, and he'd love to wear that.

Okay, bye.

Vote Chelsea.

Wear what, and
who was that, Rae?

Uh, I don't know, but she
going to pick you up at 8:00

and wear your biker shorts.

Oh, great.

First I'm a dog washer,
now I'm somebody's boy-toy.

Eddie, listen, we
do not want Chelsea

to lose this election, okay?

You know how she gets when
one person doesn't like her.

This is 187 people
not liking her.

Oh, sweetie.

Take... It's good.

Yummy, see?

Okay, now I know why

they feed that to
people who can't talk.

Come here.

For all this work

Chelsea going to
have to break me off

a little something something.

If you tell Chelsea
about all this

I'll break you off into
a little nothing nothing.

Whoa, stinky baby!

I think his poop just pooped.

Corey, you go get the door.

Eddie, come change this baby.

Why do I have to change him?

Because I fed him.

Exactly.

You fed him, so that means

this is your fault all
up in the Booty area.

I fill the top, you
empty the bottom.

Chelsea!

Sorry, baby.

It's Chelsea!

What is she doing here?

Well, maybe she's
dropping off her laundry.

I mean, everybody
else in the world is.

You guys, change the garage
and put everything in the baby.

Reverse that, strike it, okay.

Hey, Chelse,
how's it going, girl?

Great. I have my speech.

Do you want to hear it?

Oh, and ruin the surprise?

Never.

How come everyone keeps
slamming the door in my face?

Because, um, yeah, um...

Corey is doing a science
project on, um, how many times

somebody can get the
door slammed in their face

before they say something.

Yeah, uh... Corey,
she's a three!

Anyway, want to
hear my speech now?

Oh, oh, girl, I would love to

but I got to go answer
the phone, okay.

I-I didn't hear the phone ring.

Right.

That's because, um, I'm psychic.

I see the future.

♪ Ding-a-ling-a-ling. ♪

Oh, there goes another one.

I have psychic call waiting.

I can't get rid of Chelsea.

You guys have
to get all this stuff

out of... What are you doing?

Shh.

No sudden moves, Rae.

We're trying to
take him by surprise.

Sweet little baby.

Sweet?

That ain't chocolate in there.

Okay, listen. All you do

is take off these
little tabs like this.

There's nothing to it.

Is that a dog in there?

Rae, Rae, I could have sworn

I heard barking.

Oh, girl, that's just my cough.

No, it didn't sound like that.

It sounded more like a
dog barking... a real dog.

Girl, that's crazy.
I don't have a dog.

I know.

Well, have you met my dog?

You just said you
didn't have a dog.

Um, I don't. You do.

Happy birthday!

Here, take this dirty diaper.

What do you want
me to do with it?

Toss it. Oh, okay.

I don't want it, man, here.

I don't want it. I
don't want it neither.

Ugh, it's cooking.

Where you going?

To get something to drink.

Oh, I'll get something
to drink for you.

Don't worry about that, Chelsea.

Here you go.

There.

I'll make sure
it's good for you.

Thanks, but I was thinking
something more like a soda.

Soda? Girl, do you know
that stuff is bad for you?

Milk brings strong bones.

Got to work on it.

I'll even join you
with... a nice soda.

Thanks.

Oh, I'll get that.

You just sit down and
take care of your new dog.

Okay.

Hey, what do you want?

You said you'd take
buddy for a walk.

Oh, well, how did
you guys get here?

We walked.

Well, I guess my job is done.

Vote Chelsea.

Oh, man, another baby.

Who laughing now, little man?

What is going on
in that Kitchen?

Nothing.

What was that?

You know what?

First you want to spoil
your birthday present

and now you want
to ruin Christmas?

You got me a baby?

Some people would
just say thank you.

Rae, what is going on in there?

Chelsea, trust me.

You don't want to see
what's going on in that Kitchen.

Wow.

Okay, Rae.

Okay.

Want to scrub my back, baby?

Hey, um, yeah, so,
Eddie just dropped by

and brought us some surfboards

and some babies.

What's going on?

Hey, what's up, Raven?

We had a deal.

If you don't walk my dog

I'm not voting for her.

What is she talking about, Rae?

Are you bribing
people to vote for me?

Are you?

Yes, but only
because I had a vision

that you were
going to lose, so...

Then why didn't
you just tell me?

Because I didn't
want you to get hurt.

Yeah?

Well, how do you
think I feel now?

Chelse, please...
No, wait, Chelse!

People, today the candidates

will be presenting
their platforms.

Why is that important?

Because every one of us

is a participant in
the political process.

No need to panic, people.

I'll just have to project.

Psst!

Go away.

I called you last night.

You've got to talk
to me sometime.

No, I don't. Go away.

Come backstage.

No!

I'll hit you.

You will not.

Ow!

What?

Okay, um, well, I'm
just going to say it.

Bribing people
was a very bad thing

and girl, from my
heart, I am really sorry.

I am really, really sorry.

Okay, give me some love.

Are you done?

Yeah, I would be if you
gave a girl some love.

Wait, okay, Chelsea, please.

Listen, I didn't
want you to get hurt.

I thought I was
being a good friend.

You don't have to
protect me all the time.

I'm a big girl.

So what if I lose by 100 votes?



Okay, didn't need to know that.

Look, it's disappointing

but I'll get over it.

I guess I should have told you

about my vision in
the first place, huh?

But you didn't, and now
I have to go out there

in front of all those
people, and I don't know

what to say.

Well, what do you want to say?

I don't know.

I mean, part of me wants
to tell them that I quit

but... but then the
other part of me

wants to say that

that all bribes are off

but you should
vote for me anyways

because I would make
such a good president

and I really care
about this school.

Why?

Why?

Because we spend more
time here than we do at home

and we deserve a ceiling
that doesn't fall on us

and we deserve lockers
that actually work right

and two lines in the cafeteria

so we can get our food faster

and actually
have time to eat it.

You know what, Rae?

None of that even matters now

because I'm not
even going to run.

You sure about that?

Rae, what am I going to do?

I can't watch your
back all the time.

Hi.

I'm Chelsea Daniels...

And I want to be your president.



You sure did, girl.

And you lost all on your own.

I'm so proud of you.

We want more vending
machines... Done.

Increased library time fine.

And air conditioning
in the summer.

Oh, I can't. It's
a budget thing.

It's impossible.

We want it!

You've got it.

Score!