02x11 - Hole in One

[bunniefuu]

Hey, guys,
check this out.

I picked this up
at auction today,

and it only cost me
a million dollars.

For a sheet?

I guess I'd better
start saving up

if I'm gonna be
a ghost for Halloween.

It's a painting, Adam,
by a very famous artist

named Von schtopp.

Hm. I wish I would have
been there

to "Von schtopp"
you from buying it.

What is it?

It's abstract art, Adam.
It's whatever you think it is.

I think
it's a crying woman.

I think
it's a storm at sea.

I think someone just
blew a million bucks.

[ Musical ringtone plays ]

That's me.
Davenport industries.

Hello? Uh-huh.

Oh, boy. All right.

Looks like I've got to
put out a fire at work.

What happened? Betty from
accounting got her head caught...

In the positron
collider again.

Ohh!

That's gonna be messy.

Can you guys put that
in the art vault for me?

Wait, you have
an art vault?

When are you guys
gonna learn?

I have a everything.
[ Chuckles ]

But whatever you do,
do not touch the davenportraits.

What's a davenportrait?

Am I screaming out loud
or just inside my head?

I'm just gonna say it:
Davenport is one weird dude.

Ah. Voila.

The Von schto...

Ew, gross, gross, gross...!
Turn around!

Ah-choo!

Whoa.

Adam, what did you do?

Oh, I think that sneeze accidentally
triggered my heat vision!

Big "d" is going
to freak out!

Let's not panic. This hole
is barely noticeable.

Ah-choo!

That, however,
is incredibly noticeable!

Adam, if you're going
to destroy paintings,

do it to those!

The world's first bionic
super-humans.

They're stronger than us,
faster, smarter.

The next generation
of the human race is...

Living in my basement?

♪♪

♪ lab rats ♪

♪ lab rats ♪

♪ Lab rats ♪

♪ lab rats ♪

♪ Lab rats ♪

Adam, I cannot believe
you just destroyed

Mr. Davenport's
million-dollar painting!

Mr. Davenport's gonna k*ll us
when he sees what happened.

Okay, well,
maybe he won't notice

if we fill the room with things
that look much more hideous.

More hideous?

Have you seen the daven Lisa?

[ Ding ]

Hey. Big "d."
What are you doing back?

Uh, I forgot something.

I forgot that I left
my million-dollar painting

in the hands of the four
most destructive

teenagers in the world!

Please tell me it's okay.

It's fine.
Looks great.

It's fine. Great.

Hey, wait. Hey.

We've already seen this one,
and it's boring.

I would like to know
more about this

beautiful...

What are we looking at?

Yeah, I remember
posing for that one.

You know it took us hours
to get the fruit

positioned just right?

Well, you've just k*lled
apples for me.

I was gonna be
the big banana,

but I thought that'd be
a little too much.

[ Nonsensical sound ]
Don't do that!

Why not?

Because.

B-because I...
Have an idea.

You should pose
for a daven-sculpture.

Daven-sculpture! Yes!

Chase, your brilliance is only
matched by your good taste.

I'm gonna get to work
on that right away.

Oh! Get ready, guys, for
six feet of stone-cold me!

Six feet?

There's a pedestal!

Okay, Mr. Davenport's gonna
be at the sculptor's studio

for a few more hours.

They're only up to his knees.
How do you know that?

Because he's giving me
a photo play-by-play.

[ All reacting ]

Okay, there's got to be
some way to fix this painting.

I know.
We can make a replica.

I can pull an image
of the painting

from my internal hard drive

and project it
onto a blank canvas.

Then we can trace it
and paint over it.

That'll never work.

We can't paint that fast.

[ Clears throat loudly ]

Hey, do you mind?
We're trying to think over here.

I can paint that fast.

Good for you.

Quit bragging and help us
come up with the solution.

All right, here we go.

All right, Bree,
do your thing.

Done and done.

What do you think?

It's perfect.
Can't tell the difference.

Still ugly.

All right, well,
we don't have much time.

We'll go hang the replica.

Adam, you take care
of the original.

What? What am I supposed
to do with it?

Hide it someplace that
Mr. Davenport will never find it.

Make it disappear!

Okay, but I'm gonna
need a magic wand

and a volunteer
from the audience.

How 'bout you,
young lady?

Just go.

Ah. There.

Mr. Davenport will never
know the difference.

Okay, let's be honest... if it's
not a mirror or his bank account,

he's not really
paying attention.

Hey!

What are you doing down here?

What are we doing down here?
Well... [ Chuckling ]

We're down here
'cause your painting

really spoke to us.

That's right. And...
It said...

Uh, "I'm lonely.
Come hang out with me."

It's a lot like you
that way.

Hmm.

Did you guys really think
I wouldn't notice?

What do you mean?

[ Scoffs ]
You are looking at it

upside down!

Ah.

[ Enthused reactions ]

There you are.

It was him! It was him!
It was him!

Just take the hit. We all
know you're his favorite.

Good news...
I sold the painting.

What? Why?

Some wall street guy
e-mailed me and said

he'd buy it for a million
more than I paid for it.

Guy came by,
looked it over,

and he went
straight to the bank.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Hear that?
That, my friends,

is a seven-figure
ding dong.

♪ Money's comin' ♪

♪ money's comin' ♪

♪ money!
Money, money, money! ♪

Donald Davenport?
Uh-huh.

I'm special agent Ryker.

We got a call from
a prospective buyer

that you were attempting
to sell forged art.

Forged art?
What are you talking about?

I'm talking about this.

The buyer reported that this canvas
still had the price tag attached,

that it was purchased
at the art depot...

On sale.

I-I don't understand.

It's when a store offers
a product at a discount.

Mr. Davenport, selling
fake art is a felony.

You could be facing


Twenty years?!

Well, at least you'll be out
in time for Adam's graduation.

Guess I'd better
start studying.

I don't understand
how this could have happened.

That painting is an original.

It's got an I.D. Chip imbedded
in the canvas. Scan it.

[ Buzzing sound ]

That, sir, is the bad buzz,
which means no chip.

But there is a chip
in prison, and he is mean.

Wait.

He is telling the truth.

We painted the fake.
You what?!

We accidentally ruined
the real painting,

so we forged a copy
so you wouldn't find out.

You what?!

Okay, we're gonna have
to act it out for him.

Chase, you be the painting,
I'll sneeze a hole in you.

Look, I'm sure this is all
a big misunderstanding.

Chase, go get the original
and show it to the nice man

with the big badge
and the tiny little scanner.

Sure.

Wait. Adam, where is it?

Oh, I threw it in the
dumpster at school. What?!

You told me to put it
where he wouldn't look.

Did he look there? No.
You're welcome!

Okay, maybe it's still there.

If we get it back,
will you let him go?

I suppose.

If you produce
the original,

then his story checks out,
but until then,

I've got a warrant
to search the place.

For what?
Any forged art.

We'll have to check
every room in the house.

Don't worry,
we'll be careful.

[ Objects crashing ]

Relax, big "d."

You didn't really break any laws...
That they know of.

Look, have you thought
about what happens

when they find the lab
and how to explain it?

That would be bad!

Hey, don't worry
about this. I got it.

Hey! Mr. Agent.

We've got nothing to hide.

But say we did... how would
we go about doing that?

Look, the three of you
go find that painting.

Leo, you stay here with me and
help me distract these agents.

So...

You're an art cop.

Hope you don't plan on
"framing" us.

I'm sorry.

This is my first
"brush" with the law.

Leo, stop it.

Let these men do their jobs
and "canvas" the area.

Please don't make me
get the German Shepherd.

Ugh! Sticky!

Ugh! Squishy!

Aah! It's moving!

Adam, where is the painting?

I don't know.
It should be in here.

I just threw it out
this morning.

Okay, this is disgusting.

Can't Davenport just go
off to jail for a little while?

Hey! School's over.

Go home and make
your parents miserable!

Principal Perry,
what are you doing here?

Getting rid of expired
cafeteria meat.

If you ask me,
it's still good.

Meat's always expired...
It's dead!

[ Disgusted gasps ]

I can't be here.
I don't wanna be here.

Get me out!

Oh, man up, Mary.

The maggots don't set in
until the noon sun hits.

[ Insect buzzes ]

So... [ Chuckles ]

You guys are dumpster
divers like me, huh?

Nope, but thanks for that
little glimpse into your life.

You twerps are gonna have
to dive elsewhere.

I've already hauled off
all the good stuff.

Found the perfect painting

to use as the last obstacle
on my golf course!

Painting? Painting? Golf course?

So, this is why you pick
through the trash?

I know this
may come as a shock,

but being a principal isn't as
glamorous as I make it look.

So...

I've created for myself...

[ Scottish accent ]
A fancy little country club!

With trash.

That is glamorous.

You just lost yourself
a caddy job, tiny woods.

So, the tee is right there.

I sh**t through the life saver,

over to the speakers,
off the bongos,

then the tennis racket,

over to the vacuum,
up to the fan,

over to the umbrella,
into the rain gutter,

up the treadmill, through
the hole in the painting,

into the helmet.

Back in my glory days,
I was on the pro circuit.

Gotta keep my skills sharp.

Ohh!
Ohh!

Guys, getting
this painting back

is gonna be a lot more
difficult than I thought.

Why don't we just
grab it and run?

The woman is holding
a metal club,

and I don't think
she's afraid to use it.

[ Clears throat ]

Heads up. I'm more
power than accuracy,

so cover anything you don't
want a golf ball to smash.

Principal Perry:
Whoo!

Aahh!

Ugh! Chimp pickles!

Um, you know what would
make this course a lot easier?

Removing this painting.

Get your hands off my junk!

I waded through biohazard waste
to get to that.

Look, principal Perry,
this painting is our dad's,

and Adam accidentally
threw it away,

but it's really important
that we get it back.

Oh. I'm sorry.
I can't give it back.

It has sentimental value.

But you just found it.

Not to me. To you!

[ Laughing ]
Playing through!

Well, last room in the house
and no forged art,

so as soon as
those kids get back

with that original painting,
I am scot-free.

You know,
interestingly enough,

I went to high school with
a guy named Scott free,

and ironically,
he went to jail.

You talk a lot.

You know who else
talks a lot?

People with
something to hide.

Well, then you should probably
go find some of those.

This has been nice.

What's that?

That? That...
That is a...

That's a...
That's a doorbell.

A doorbell?
Yeah.

Inside the house?
Mm-hmm, sure.

Well, I mean I have the one
that rings inside the house.

This one rings outside

so I can mess with the pizza
guy when he comes.

You know...
Bing-bong, bing-bong.

I hate pizza. [ Chuckles ]

[ Mouths silently ]

[ Mouths silently ]

You have a secret elevator?

'Course I have
a secret elevator.

Who doesn't have a secret
elevator, right, Leo?

Right! We're...
We're rich.

We need to blow
our money on something!

What are you hiding,
Davenport?

Nothing! Nothing! We're not
hiding anything, right, Leo?

Right!

Well, then, I guess you wouldn't
mind if we take a look.

No, we don't mind
at all, right, Leo?

Will you stop saying that!

Agent Ryker: Let's go.

Guys, we have to get
that painting back from Perry.

Look, I have an idea.
Just follow my lead.

Principal Perry!

Ugh! What do you want?

Look, how 'bout
if we make this sh*t,

you give us the painting?

Done.

But if you miss the sh*t,
then you three have to cut

all the grass in the football
field for the rest of the year...

Deal.

With these
mustache scissors.

Why do you have
mustache scissors?

Why do you ask
so many questions?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I don't play coed.
I'm not a savage.

This course is ladies only.

Which means...

She has to take the putt.

Good luck, skirt.

I-I've never played
golf before in my life.

Don't worry. I'll use
my molecular-kinesis

to guide the ball.

Quit your mutter
and grab your putter!

Let's do this!

[ Blows trumpet ]

Wow! She p ut a crazy
spin on that one, huh?

[ Laughs ]

Chase, where's the ball?

It must have got
stuck in the pipe!

I win, I win, I win!

[ Ball rolling ]
Huh? Oh.

Uh-oh.

Yes!

[ Comical shrieks ]

Get the painting!

♪ Twinkle, twinkle
little star ♪

♪ how I wonder
what you are ♪

Is that you singing?

Yeah. [ Chuckles ]

It's new. Thought I'd spice
things up a little bit.

If you want a copy,
I still have 3,000 cds left.

I think I can speak for everyone
when I say, "we're good."

And this is my art vault.

So you're not a forger,
but you have a secret room

full of copied paintings.

These are originals.

That I believe.

If you ask me,

these paintings
should hang themselves.

When are they gonna get here
with that painting?

I've been texting them.

Adam says they're playing
putt-putt with Perry.

What does that mean?

I don't want to know.

We have to distract these agents
before they find the lab.

On it.

Hey, wanna hear a joke?
No.

Twenty questions?
No.

A poem it is.

When the night turns
into dawn,

lights, shadows,

a new day has begun.

Hey, I've got one
for you.

"Roses are red,
violets are blue,

stop talking."

Okay, looks like
this room's clear.

Since that's the last
room in the house,

I guess that means...
You've got another floor.

N-no I don't.

Then what was that
unlabeled button

on the elevator's
control panel?

That would be a question
for the elevator operator,

and he is not here today,
right, Leo?

I am not going
to jail with you.

You either take us there,

or I'll make you
take us there.

We have the painting!

Ha! They have the painting!

I'm free! I'm free!

I mean, thank you
for coming, officer.

This proves Mr. Davenport
is innocent.

Proves. Well, I'll be the
judge of that, miss.

[ Beeping sound ]

Kid's right.
It checks out.

Sorry about the
inconvenience, Mr. Davenport.

Good luck
with the singing career.

You've, um...

Really got something.

My album's available
online, so...

What's an album?

That was close.
Too close.

The feds were just about
to discover the lab.

We didn't mean for
any of this to happen.

Things just
got out of hand.

We're really sorry,
Mr. Davenport.

Yeah.

We promise we'll always
tell you the truth.

Yeah.

[ Sighs ]

You're selfish,
you're bossy,

and I wish I didn't,
but I love your voice.

Man, I'm so happy
I got that off my chest.

Give me that.

It's destroyed.
Why are you putting it up?

So that every time
you look at it,

you'll remember
that you owe me

a million dollars.

Ah. Okay.
Here's the sh*t...

Off the rail,
hit the rock,

off that thing, off the
post, off the guitar,

off the front door,
and into the umbrella stand.

No way.
Never.

I need a sister.

Fore!

Good news! I got
a new Von schtopp!

[ Comical shriek ]

Whoa ho!
Hole in one! Ohh!

Aaahhh!

Aaahhh!

♪ Lab rats ♪

♪ lab rats ♪

♪ Lab rats ♪

♪ lab rats ♪