02x25 - Hannah in the Streets with Diamonds

[bunniefuu]

I still can't believe Hannah's
getting her own diamond

on the Hollywood
parade of diamonds.

Come on, Oliver, I
know it's a big honor,

but let's not act like
tourists. Just be cool.

Aah! Oh, my gosh, it's Madonna!

Take our picture!
Take our picture!

Oh, yeah, that's really cool.

What is it with
chicks and Madonna?

So where's your
diamond gonna be?

Well, the Hollywood diamond
committee said it's 2 past Madonna.

So Madonna, Brad Pitt...

Yeow!

What's that gunk
on your diamond?

Looks like chili.

It is chili.

And it's gross.

Come on, people,
keep it in your bun.

Excuse me.

Could you move your
cart down the street a little?

Could I? Sure. Will I? No.

Well, you could put it right
by Scooby-doo's diamond.

Rot dog on a rot dog.

I'll help you push.

Hands off the cart, Princess.

I've been slinging weenies
on this spot for 20 years

and I'll be slinging
them for 20 more.

But Hannah Montana's
diamond is gonna be here,

and your dogs are leaking on it.

Hannah Montana?

Well, all the kids in
my building love her.

So you'll move?

No. I hate all the
kids in my building.

Give it up, cupcake.

There's nothing in the world

that's gonna get
me off of this spot.

Quittin' time.

Don't worry, folks,
I'll be back tomorrow.

Oops.

My bad.

I am not cleaning
that up, mister.

Oliver, clean it up.

No.

Well, hey, look. Flowers.

At night devoted fans can place
Rose petals on your diamond

to cover up the chili stink.

Still disgusting, but better.

Are you all right?

Fine. The flowers
make me phlegmy.

Ew!

Right on the diamond.

Let me guess. You've
been here 20 years

and you'll be here 20 more.

And after that, my
son will take over.

Wow. Talk about
your spitting image.

Come on!

♪ You get the limo out front ♪

♪ ooh ♪

♪ hottest styles, every
shoe, every color ♪

♪ yeah, when you're
famous, it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ it's really you, but
no one ever discovers ♪

♪ who would have
thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ would double as a superstar? ♪

♪ You get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ chill it out, take it slow,
then you rock out the show ♪

♪ you get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ mix it all together,
and you know ♪

♪ that it's the best
of both worlds ♪

it was disgusting.

There was so much
gunk on the sidewalk,

it was like I was getting my
diamond on uncle Earl's back porch.

Come on, darling,
I'm eating here.

Besides, it's not important
where they put the diamond.

It's the fact they gave
you one in the first place.

But the place they gave me
is on the corner of chili Avenue

and snot rocket boulevard.

Now, let me tell you, when they gave
me my diamond, what they did was...

put it right in front of the
world-famous Chinese theater,

right where the
tour bus lets off?

They say it's one of the most
photographed diamonds out there,

but I may not be
the best example.

Ya think?

Let me tell you, honey, what's
important is always remember

it's just an honor to have one.

All right, great. Then
you'll give me yours.

Oh, honey. That
wouldn't be right.

Then you would have a
great spot and learn nothing.

What kind of a father would
I be if I let that happen?

The kind that just
wants to keep his spot.

Oh, honey, I had it first.

Besides that, it's right
next to John Wayne.

The Duke, honey, the Duke!

But you said location
doesn't matter.

It doesn't.

I'm just too old
to listen to myself.

You, on the other
hand, legally have to.

Bye-bye.

Please just be a little broken.

Please just be a little broken.

Oh.

Ohh! I said please!

And I was gonna
get you a hot wax!

Hello. It's rrrico.

Rico, my car broke down.
I'm gonna be late for work.

Sure. These things
happen. I totally understand.

Gee, thanks, man.

Of course, if you're not
here in 5 minutes, you're fired!

Oh, come on, have a heart.


tick-tock, tick-tock.

Wait a minute. What if I get
somebody to cover my shift?

Is it somebody like you
or someone with a brain?

That's a good one, boss.

Hey, want to hear
another good one?

Whoa!



What do you want me to do first?

Ooh, a jumbo Jackson.

This is gonna be good.

Excuse me.

I am looking for a
Mr. Randall Garrison,

the president of the parade
of diamonds committee.

You found him. Aah!

Aah! What?

I don't know. You
screamed first.

I'm just so thrilled to finally
meet Hannah Montana.

Oh, what can I do for you?

Whatever it is,
the answer is yes.

Great. Move my diamond.

Ah... no.

But you said the answer is yes.

I lied.

But, Mr. Garrison,
you don't understand.

There's this hot dog
guy with drippy chili

and this phlegmy
flower family going...

All over my diamond and
now all over your shoe.

Sorry?

So am I.

Look, rules are rules.

Only once in our history have
we ever moved a diamond.

Who's diamond? Your diamond.

My diamond?

Originally you were
in a wonderful spot.

Then I switched it.

Special request
from a great talent

and an even
greater humanitarian.

That's right. I'm talking
about pancake buffalo.

A puppet.

I lost my diamond
to a pile of purple felt

with a hand where
it's heinie should be?

Ho-ho hold it right there.

When I was a little boy
and TV was my only friend,

that pile of purple felt
taught me how to love.

Very, very touching.
Switch me back!

Put my little buffalo back
under that horrible pile

of chili and lung lava?

I don't think so.

Fine.

If you won't do the right thing,

then I'll just go
talk to the hand.

What hand?

The hand that's up to
its elbow in buffalo butt.

Here you go. Enjoy.

Y'all come back now, you hear?

Excuse me, Mr. Stewart.

Anyone ever told
you you got great hair?

Oh, rico. Is the sky blue?

I wouldn't know. I'm
not looking at the sky.

I'm looking at hairy nachos!

A friend of yours, I presume?

I guess I could wear a hat.

Thanks. But I got a better idea.

There!

This is a crime against nature.

Fine. You can lose the hair net,

but Jackson will lose his job.

You are an evil little boy.

Flattery will get you nowhere.

Now I believe it's time to scrape
the gum from underneath the counter.

This may take some
time. I chew a lot of gum.

Hey, cafeteria lady,
less looky, more scrapy.

You are about to find yourself
in a very sticky situation.

Hey, rico, I got my car started.

Rico?

My dad?

Yeah.

I'm fired?

Oh, yeah.

♪ And that's all the
planets in our solar system ♪

♪ we'll sing it again tomorrow
in case you missed 'em ♪

♪ I'm astronaut Hector ♪

♪ and pancake buffalo ♪

♪ and that is the end
of our out of this world ♪

♪ outer space
intergalactic show ♪

Ha ha ha! Buh-bye, kids.

Adios.

Oh, that was a
wonderful rehearsal.

Hector, you deserve
an extra special cupcake.


school for this.

I can't believe I'm this
close to pancake buffalo.

That little puppet taught
me how to go potty.

♪ Diapers are for babies,
I'm a big kid, don't you know ♪

♪ and when I get
the uh-oh feeling ♪

♪ I know where to go ♪

♪ the potty, the potty ♪

♪ and flush it... ♪
I get it.

I get it.

You got the potty in you.

Excuse me,

miss, uh, pancake
buffalo puppet person lady.

Hi, I'm Cindy merriwether, and I
know who you are, Hannah Montana.

But I don't know who you are.

Or you either.

But that's ok because...

♪ When you don't know
someone's name... ♪

It's Mike and Lola.

Anyway, I hear that pancake
and I are gonna be neighbors

on the parade of diamonds.

And pancake is so excited.

Miss merriwether? Hmm?

I'm not a kid anymore.

You don't have to
pretend like pancake's real.

What do you mean?

That he's a puppet.

Oh, no, he's not.

Yes, he is.

You operate him
behind this thing.

No, I don't.

Pancake is my special friend.

At my high school
reunion, he was my date.

It's nap time, pancake.

Boing.

Well, she's just
deep into character.

Yeah, scary deep.

Ooh, bindenbaudenschlasser
truffles,

made with milk from
happy Swiss cows.

Now, what can I do for you?

Well, you see... mmmm mm mmm.

Well, you know... mmmm mmm mm.

Well, you... mmm mm mmm!

You stole my diamond.

You don't need to
use your angry voice.

You know, she's always
had a problem with that.

Zip it.

Hannah darling,
Cindy understands

why you're such a grumpy-umpus.

You had the diamond first

and we shouldn't have
switched it without asking.

So you'll switch me back?

Oh, I would love to... Yes!

But it's not up to me.

I don't like where
this is going.

It's up to me, blondie.

So ask me with your happy voice.

Cindy, please.

There's no Cindy down here!

Now let me hear
that happy voice!

Ok.

Grrrr!

Pancake buffalo.

Mm-hmm.

Will you please give
me my diamond back?

Aw.

Well, now that
you put it that way...

No!

But that's not fair.

You want to switch diamonds?
Go ask that Garrison bozo.

Oh, wait a minute. He loves me.

Ok, listen here, you
glorified oven mitt.

Hey, Hannah, want to know
the weather report from Montana?

Chili all day with 100%
chance of spit showers!

Ha ha ha ha!

Aaah!

Security! Security!

Don't validate her parking!

Aaah!

Excuse me, Mr. Garrison.

Ah, miss Montana, again.

And if it's about your
diamond, I don't want to hear it.

But Mr. Garrison,
you don't understand.

I went to Cindy merriwether

and she made me talk to
the puppet like it was real.

He is real... To
millions of children.

So what did he say?

Your fuzzy little friend
called you a bozo.

Oh, miss Montana...
But it's true.

We were there.

If you'll excuse me.

Ok, that's it. If captain
kiss-up is not gonna believe

that merriwether and
her puppet are evil,

we will just have to show him.

And how do we do that?

Well, it usually involves
bad accents, sticky food,

and dumb costumes.

That is so not true.

Hey, Oliver, can you get your hands
on your mom's old security outfit?

Oh, I'm so in.

Ah, rookie.

Keep them sharp. I
like to scratch. Rrrr!

Come on. We talked about this.

Fine.

Hey, rico.

There's someone here
who wants to talk to you.

I'm all ears.

I'm sorry. My behavior
was totally inappropriate

and a disgrace to
this fine establishment.

I hate this.

Just do it.

And in no way reflects the opinion
of my diligent, hard-working son.

There!

What can I say?

I'm as forgiving
as I am handsome.

Apology accepted.

Now, was that so hard?

You really want to rattle
the gator's cage, boy?

No, sir.

You're a genius.

Ok, so I guess I'll just
go back to work, then.

I always wondered
why he was such a loser.

Now I know. He
gets it from his dad.

Excuse me?

Talk about your country dumpkin!

Country dumpkin?

Jackson!

Say it.

Go on, say it.

All right, I'm sorry.

And?

I have a big mouth.

I can't hear you.

I have a big mouth!

Now, was that so hard?

This isn't funny.

That's right.

But this is.

Well, we have 2 hours
before the ceremony.

Is there anything
you or pancake need?

Oh, Randall, thanks to
you, we're right as rainbows.

And pancake is so happy
you moved his diamond home.

He has a special
surprise for you.

Calm down, Randall.
You're an adult.

Hi, Randall.

Hi, pancake!

You've been so wonderful, I'm
making you an honorary buffalo buddy!

I've always wanted
to be a buffalo buddy.

I could never collect
enough box tops

because my mom always
said your cereal is too sugary.

Meanwhile, she was
packing away the doughnuts

like they're going out of style!

Now, Randall.

I know. Angry voice.

I'm sorry.

You got a permit
for this little party?

Of course I do. It's in my car.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

I'll ask the questions
around here.

I wasn't asking a
question, officer...

Nancy oken?

My father named me that.

His name was Harriet.

You got a problem with that?

No... Not if you don't?

Just get the permit, sir.

Proceeding east with suspect.

Roger, Nancy. Phase 2 is a go.

Yo-de-lay, yo-de-lay,
yo-de-lay-hee-ho!

I've got a bindenboudenschlasser
chocolate for you!

Ooh! Did somebody say
bindenboudenschlasser chocolates?

Milked ze happy
Swiss cows myself.

Squirta-squeeza,
squirta-squeeza.

Wait, wait.

Pancake, honey, mommy
will be back in just a sec.

Ooh!

This permit looks good.

You'd be surprised how many
people try to get fancy with the Nancy.

Oliver, it's your mother.

Stop messing with
my walkie-talkie!

I got to go.

Sorry about that.

Miss merriwether?

Pancake?

It's me, your,
uh, buffalo buddy.

Oh, get over it, you
sniveling little dork!

Ha ha... what?

Hey, folks, what to see a
genuine Hollywood freak?

Check out the middle-aged
loser talking to a puppet.

Oh, no.

I'm not talking to a puppet.

How can you say that?
We're buffalo buddies.

Yeah. And it's a big deal...

When you're 3.

Grow up, or do you want
to spend the rest of your life

living with your
doughnut scarfing mother?

That's enough, miss merriwether.

That's enough!

No. This is enough.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

That's it.

I'm giving Hannah
Montana her spot back.

Yes!

You just bought yourself a
one-way ticket to lugieland!

Comen ze back!

No! Those are not real
bindenboudenschlasser chocolates.

Ja, they are!

Miss merriwether?

Pancake?

Aah.

Yumpin' yiminy.

Guys.

Sorry.

But these things are so good.

Great. Even my friends
splat on my diamond.

I wish I wouldn't have
even gotten this stupid thing.

Mommy, mommy! It's
Hannah Montana's diamond!

Take my picture.

Looks like she
thinks it's pretty cool.

You know, if your fans don't
care where your diamond is...

Then I shouldn't either?

I guess that is what
it really is all about.

Pretty much.

I cannot believe how nuts I went

trying to get my spot back.

That's it, set her down easy,

right on top of old
pancake buffalo.

Hey, look at that.
A gift from above.

I'll be right back.

I got to go leave a little
something for pancake.

Hey, where do you
think you're going, buddy?

I got to... Uh,
uh, no, you don't.

Oh, yes, I do.

Then try the gas
station 4 blocks down.

Looks like you could
use the exercise.

What am I doing?
You're a puppet.

Yeah, yeah. A puppet that's
about to knock you silly!

Yeah, oh, yeah, be scared.

Anybody else want a piece of me?

How about you, grandma?