02x27 - The Test of My Love

[bunniefuu]

Hey, rico. What's
going on over here?

A wonderful thing.

A wonderful, magical thing.

The mothership's
finally coming back

to take you to planet shortdork?

Ha ha ha! No!

That generous
billionaire over there

is donating a new playground.

Finally, the children will
have a swing to swing on,

a slide to slide on...

And your hot dogs
to spend money on?

Papa didn't raise no fool.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

it's time to hop
into the world of...

Advertising.

Miley?

Miley?

Hello?

Whoa.

What?

That guy over there.

When I saw him, it was like
we were the only 2 people

on this beach.

They say that
happens with true love.

Oh!

What if it turns out
that he's the one?

At your wedding
I'll be able to say

that I was standing right
next to you when you...

Completely ignored
me and walked away.

Ladies and gentlemen,

on behalf of my wife Jeanette

and myself, William Harris...

It's a great honor to
present to the city of Malibu

this check for the new William Harris
playground and recreation center.

Hi.

Hi.

This isn't about
me, William Harris,

this is about the children.

Uhh!

About the children and
how happy they will be

playing at the William Harris
playground and recreation center

donated by me, William Harris.

Wow.

I guess the only thing
bigger than that check

is his big, fat head.

And now, I want
you to meet my son.

This ought to be good.

Trey.

That's me.

Of course it is.

Captioning made possible by
Disney... abc cable networks group

come on.

♪ You get the limo out front ♪

♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ hot styles, every
shoe, every color ♪

♪ yeah, when you're famous ♪

♪ it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ it's really you ♪

♪ but no one ever discovers ♪

♪ who would have
thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ would double as a superstar? ♪

♪ You get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ chill it out, take it slow ♪

♪ then you rock out the show ♪

♪ you get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ mix it all together ♪

♪ and you know that it's
the best of both worlds ♪

♪ ooh ♪

Miley, it's been 2 days.

You got to forget about him.

I can't.

I let him slip through my fingers
like the sand he walked on.

This beautiful, beautiful sand.

Bye-bye, sand.

Ok, you talked to him for like a
minute. You don't even know him.

So? You're in love
with Orlando bloom

and he doesn't
even know you exist.

Yet.

But he will.

And then you will
watch the Lilly bloom.

Lilly bloom?

I know! How cool is that?

Lilly, I'm serious.

I can't get it out of my
head, and now he's gone.

It's not like Orlando where you
can just push "play disc" again.

And in the shirtless
scenes, slo-mo.

Interesting ring.

I was homesick. Yeah.

Hello?

Hannah!

Hey, Traci, now's
not really a good time.

Tell me about it.

My putt-putt for
puppies charity event

is in 4 hours,

and I just found out Abigail
breslin and her partner

are wearing blue.

Wow.

First global warming
and now this?

I know!

So, fashion flash... team
Traci is now wearing mauve.

What? Mauve.

What?

Purple! Just wear purple!

Traci, I don't think I'm going
to be able to come tonight.

Hannah, you're my partner.

I can't be partnerless at my
own putt-putt for puppies party.

I'll look pathetic.

Fine, I'll be there.

All better.

What did she want?

To make sure I was
wearing... mauve.

What? Mauve.

- What?
- Purple!

I don't even want to go.

I just want to sit and
dream about Trey.

Hi.

Ok, here's the deal.

You wait here,
I'll go back home,

send my extremely
normal twin sister back.

I think you're
going to like her.

Right, Lilly?

Yes, it's true. All the
cute, none of the kooky.

One sec.

There, now I'm as
kooky as you feel.

I'm Trey.

Miley. I'm Lilly.

And I'm leaving.

I'm not actually
leaving leaving,

I just want him to think
I'm leaving leaving,

so he doesn't think I'm
watching, which I will be,

but he won't know because... go.

You were saying?

Listen, uh, I was wondering if
you'd go out with me tonight?

Tonight? Yeah.

Tonight's going to
be... perfect. Whoa.

For you to go out.

Because I, your best friend,

will be busy at a charity
putt-putt golf tournament

filling in for another
friend, a blonde one,

who sings... ♪ bub bub bub ♪

Too much information.

Thank you.

So, tonight?

Yes.

Sorry, your moment.

What she said.

Cool, I'll have a car
come pick you up,

and you can meet
us at the restaurant.

Us?

What, are you
bringing your parents?

Actually, yes.

Melon-headed hottie say what?

♪ Ooh ♪

Ma, you were right.

I should have hired a
housekeeper years ago.

This place is cleaner
than uncle Earl

that time he chased that rollin'
quarter through the car wash.

Yeah, lord, yeah.

She's just about
cleaned the entire house.

All she has left to
do is Jackson's room.

Got to go, mom.

I have never seen
anything so disgusting

in my whole life.

And I've watched my toothless
husband eat corn on the cob.

Now, I know the boy's
a little messy, but...

Messy? I'd say
he lived like a pig,

but that would be
an insult to pigs.

I quit.

How about if double your salary?

I was bitten by a sock.

Let me at least
get the door for you.

Hey.

You must be the
new cleaning lady.

I'm Jackson.

You must be so very proud.

I don't know what
her problem was, dad.

There's a place for everything,

and everything's in its place.

Then what is a hot
dog doing in your shoe?

It's a foot long.

Foot. Shoe. Get it?

I'll tell you what I get.

You're gonna clean
up this trash heap.

And you can start by
picking up these clothes

and putting them in the
closet where they belong.

No, dad, I wouldn't do that!

Uhh!

That's it! We're
cleaning this room out.

And stop tickling my foot, boy.

I'm way over here.

Aah! Aah!

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

Lilly, darling.

Don't I look smashing?

Miley, darling, what
are my other choices?

Ok, look, I'm meeting
Trey's parents.

They're, like, billionaires.

I've got to make
sure they like me.

So if that means
looking like this

and talking funny,

then... william, Jeanette,

it's divine to meet you.

Kiss, kiss.

Kiss, kiss.

Hello, ladies.

Miley, what the Sam heck
you doing dressed like that?

I'm going on a date.

Wow. If you don't like the guy,

why don't you just tell him?

Works for me. Really?

Yeah, at least I know the fella
will keep his hands off of you.

See?

Lilly, I have never felt this
way about a guy before.

I really like him.

And if his parents
don't like me,

then that could ruin everything.

What am I supposed to do?

Ok, he already likes
you just the way you are.

I'm sure his parents will, too.

Maybe you're right.

I mean, Trey is really awesome.

How bad could his parents be?

Hey, I'm Miley Stewart.
Nice to meet y'all.

Oh, what an
adorable little accent.

Son, you never mentioned

she's a genuine country bumpkin.

I've never met a bumpkin.

Wait till I tell the
girls at the club.

You're kidding me, right?

♪ Oh, yeah, ooh, ooh ♪

Darling, please,

don't just stand there.

Have a seat.

Or should I say, "sit a spell"?

Ok, listen... we'll
be right back.

Trey, take your time.

We'll be a-waiting.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

I know, I know.
They're a little...

Rude, mean, horrible.

Why didn't you warn me?

'Cause you wouldn't have come.

And I wouldn't have
been able to do this.

Oh, boy.

Please, don't let
them scare you off.

I really like you.

Well, lucky for you,
I don't scare easy.

Mr. and Mrs. Harris, I
have something to say.

I am Miley Stewart, and I am
not just some regular hillbilly.

Excusez-moi.

Hello?

Hannah, you have to
get down here pronto.

Your friend Lola
is ruining my party.

Hey, Orlando! Great butt!

Uh, putt. Great putt.

Wait, come back.

This is the most hideous evening

anyone could ever have.

Wanna bet?

Look at me,
darling, I'm country.

♪ Ooh ♪

Thank you.

Miley.

Mmm.

Refreshing, light, lemony.

They're called
finger bowls, dear.

It's for warshing up
between courses.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Warshing up?

I'm sorry.

Well, if the soup
is half as good,

this ought to be quite a meal.

♪ Yeah ♪

Mmm.

Interesting.

What is it?

They, uh, ahem, they
call it sweet breads.

Doesn't taste like bread.

That's because
it's cow pancreas.

And it's yummy.

Oh, Trey, I forgot to mention.

Next week we're taking
the private jet to London

for a gala with the queen.

Perhaps your little
friend would like to come.

Have you ever been
on a plane, dear?

Yes, ma'am.

I have.

I'm sorry, I meant one
that doesn't spray crops.

All right, mother,
that's enough.

You're darn tootin'
that's enough.

Not only have I been on a jet,

I have already met the queen.

In fact, I sang the
other side of me

for her and her granddaughter.

Really? Really?

Really?

Who wants dessert?

Oh, no, I'd much
rather hear about

how you sang for the queen.

Well, it... it... it...
It wasn't just me.

It was my school in London.

Where... where I went to school.

In London.

Which school?

Hogwarts.

Miley, where you
going with this?

I'll tell you when I get there.

Why were you living in London?

Um, my daddy
worked there as a...

Diplomat?

Ok.

Diplomat. Very impressive.

We'd love to meet him.

Well, we will most
definitely have to do that

in the very near
or distant future.

Oh, no, there's no time
like the present, my dear.

Let's go right now.

Now? Now.

Unless you have
a problem with that.

No.

No problem at all.

I just got to go, um,
powder my nose.

Very shiny, you
know what I mean, girl.

Daddy, my date's parents
want to come and meet you.

Now.

Now?

Yeah, and they're
kind of snobby,

so if you could, you know,
clean up around the house,

fluff the pillows,
flush the toilet,

pick the hair out of the
soap, that kind of thing.

Ok, well, it's gonna take
a little more than that.

Dad, um, one more thing.

I kind of almost blew
the Hannah secret,

so I'm going to have to ask you

one more teeny
tiny little favor.

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ oh ♪

We're home.

Welcome to Stewart manor.

Har har.

Sweet niblets.

Father, brother,
meet the harrises.

Please, call me William.

Jolly good.

And I'm Jeanette.

Good show.

I'm Trey.

Jolly good show.

That's odd.

They speak with
an English accent

and you don't.

Yes, they do.

And there is a very
simple explanation for that.

Right, father?

Of course. Tell them, Jackson.

She had a nanny.

From Nashville.

Who made her watch
reruns of the Beverly hillbillies.

On the tele.

Now that was a jolly good show.

Yay, this has been lovely.

Thanks for the ride home.

Don't be silly, we just arrived.

Let's all get to
know each other.

Ooh, capital idea.

You come with me, young thing.

Har har.

Oh! Oh!

Remember how you
said you liked me? Yeah.

Hold onto that.

So there were are,
prince William on my left,

prince Harry on my right,

and the fox just in front of us.

Well! I crept right up to
that magnificent animal

and I said, "hey, foxy
mama, can I buy you a soda?"

Well! She said yes,

and once again the 2
young princes had to admit

that I was the king.

Har har!

Oh, really, this is too much.

What kind of fools
do you think we are?

This is, uh, why I
don't get second dates.

Oh, can't you see it, Trey?

They're fortune hunters.

What did you just call us?

A bunch of backwoods,
banjo-strumming, hillbilly gold diggers.

Now listen here, bub.

And you, too, Mrs. Bub.

Dad, let it go.

I made this mess,
let me clean it up.

It's nice knowing you.

I want y'all to get
your snooty booties

out of our house.

Excuse me.

No, I have been
excusing you all night,

and I'm done with it.

Ok, sure, my
daddy's no diplomat,

but he's not a
banjo-strumming hillbilly either.

He's a
guitar-strumming hillbilly.

And I'm proud of him.

And my brother...

Let me just tell
you, my brother...

What are you gonna
do? Can't pick your family.

Gee, thanks, sis.

I'm feeling the love.

So if y'all can't accept me

and where I come from,

don't let the door hit where
the good lord split you.

Bye-bye.

Jolly good show, darlin'.

Jeanette, Trey.

We're leaving.

You know what? No. No.

You're leaving, I'm staying.

Uh, if that's all
right with you.

Half an hour?

I'll drive you home.

I just got to go out to the barn

and hitch up that
there team of mules.

This is not the
way we raised you.

I'm disappointed in you, son.

The feeling is mutual.

You know, the sprinklers
just went on out front.

You guys might want
to go out the back.

I'd cram myself
through a mail slot

to get out of this place.

The sprinklers go
on in the morning.

Wait for it.

Aah! Aah!

Jeanette, let go of my leg.

I'm not touching your leg.

Aah! Aah!

Now that is a jolly good show.

Har har.

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

So you actually eat these things

with your hands?

It's the only way.

I love this.

You know, I think
the boy's got promise.

You should try grunting.

It's fun.

You don't have to do that.

I'm not gonna.

Oh, no, it's Traci.

I wonder what Lilly did now.

Hello?

Orlando! You don't understand!

We're meant for each other.

You can't run away from destiny.

Oh, you so owe me.

Aah!