02x29 - We're All on This Date Together

[bunniefuu]

Next up for auction,

we have a round of golf
with the hilarious ray Romano.

Who's ray Romano?

He's the star of
"everybody loves Raymond."

What's that?

You know, the guy
with the big nose,

never does what
his wife tells him...

On TV for 9 years.

Nope. Never heard of it.

Ray... ha ha ha! Why
don't you stand up,

show everybody what
they're bidding for?

Oh, come on, everyone. Look.

I know he's not as cute as I am,

but, hey, he won a couple emmys.


embarrassing yourself.

Hey, kid, you know
who I am, right?

Sure. You're ray
Romano, whoever that is.

Wow, this is sad.

I'll bid $12.

Ah-choo!

Oh... $11.

Sold!

What, don't I get,
like, a "going once"?

Fine. Once, twice, sold. Happy?

Ok. Up next, we have a
dinner with teen pop sensation

Hannah Montana.

$5,000.





All right. Why don't you all come
up and just punch me in the face?



You know, I got to admit,
I was kind of nervous

I was gonna get
stuck with some jerk.

Going twice... $10,000.

Is that... it couldn't be.

Sweet niblets.

Hiya, toots.

Wear something
yummy, but no heels.

I don't want to climb too high.



Guys, do something.

I spent all my money on Roy.

Ray! Ray.

You know what?
Don't worry about it.

Here. Here's $100. Ah-choo!

Why don't you golf with
snotty mcboogerhead?



Sold!

♪ Come on ♪

♪ you get the limo out front ♪

♪ hottest styles, every
shoe, every color ♪

♪ yeah, when you're
famous, it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ it's really you, but
no one ever discovers ♪

♪ who would have
thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ would double
like a superstar? ♪

♪ You get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ chillin' out, take it slow ♪

♪ then you rock out the show ♪

♪ you get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ mix it all together,
and you know ♪

♪ that it's the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ ooh, yeah ♪

I cannot believe it's Johnny.

I haven't seen him
in, like, two years.

Hey, Miley, how's it going?

Um, pretty good.

Just getting some ketchup
for my veggie burger.

I see you like mayonnaise.

Never tried that
on a veggie burger,

and maybe I
should, but not today

because I got a ketchup
thing going. Miley! Miley!

You know, what a lot
of people don't know

is, it's also a
wonderful moisturizer.

Mm-hmm. Here. Isn't that lovely?

Moisturizer.
You're pretty funny.

Oh, my hand does feel softer.





Take mama home,
baby. Take mama home.

Remember how
much he liked Hannah?

If he wins, this could be the
start of something beautiful.

♪ If we were a movie ♪

♪ you'd be the right guy ♪

♪ yeah, I'd be the best friend
that you fall in love with ♪

♪ in the end, we'd be
laughing watching the sunset ♪



Ha!


man with the big wallet.

How do we stop him?

I got your back.

So what if rico wins?
How bad could it be?

♪ If we were a movie ♪

♪ you'd be my main squeeze ♪

♪ and I'd be the big bum ♪

♪ that you would
fall in love with ♪



Aah!



Going twice...

Wrap it up, baby. Wrap it up.

Sold! Halleluiah!



Sorry, kid. There's
always next year.

Unless Hannah Montana
wants to raise double the money

and turn this
into a dinner for 3.

Donny without Marie say what?

It would be great
for the beaches.

It's ok with me.

Let's hear it for
Hannah Montana.

Hey-o!

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

Hey, roxy.

Hyaah! Waah!

Oh, I'm sorry, baby boy.
What are you doing here?

Bleeding internally.

What's going on down here?

You two are supposed
to be at the dodger game.

Why aren't you at
the dodger game?

It's too hot. Too hot?

What kind of wimpy example
are you setting for your son?

Now get moving.

Go in a hat and some sunscreen

and maybe stick one of those frozen
lemonades down the back of your pants.

It'll be fun.

Now hold on there,
Danica Patrick.

What's got your
engines all revved up?

And when did you and
dad go to Niagara Falls?

Oh, that. Yeah.
That's a funny story.

Yeah. I'll tell you that
after the baseball game.

Bye. Well, great.

Then that'll give you
a chance to explain

when I wore this hula
skirt and this coconut bra

because I sure as
heck don't remember it.

I'm sorry.

Maybe I sort of told somebody

that, well, I live here
and I'm married to you.

What? What?

My high-school
reunion is this week,

and Clarice Johnson
is gonna be there.

Who? Who?

Hey, will you stop doing
that? It's very irritating.

Well, so is finding out

that we're now man and wife.

Yeah. Start talking, mom.

I spent my entire childhood
tortured by Clarice Johnson.

She was prettier, more
popular, more everything,

and I will not have her
thinking that I am single

and live in an apartment
with a goldfish named Denzel.

But you are.

No. That's not true. I
had to flush Denzel.

Now I have a doggy named diddy.

And you expected us
to just go along with this?

No. I didn't.

I expected you to be
at the dodger game...

When she came over.

Look. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to put you
in this awkward position.

I don't know what
I was thinking.

Roxy roker.

Hello, Clarice.

You must be Jackson
and, oh, Robbie.

You know, I got to tell you,

I thought you made
the whole thing up.

You know something?

Nobody... and I mean
nobody... in our entire class

ever expected that roxy
would ever find a man.

In fact, she was voted
most likely to die alone.

Look. When you
walk into that reunion

with that man on your arm,

everybody who ever
thought you were a man,

they're gonna owe
you an apology.

Listen. About that, I got a...

Hey, no need to apologize.

Check out this picture
of me and my foxy roxy

cliff diving in acapulco.

That's my man. Ha ha ha!

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ whoa, whoa ♪

Hey, chipmunk cheeks,

which one of these colognes

do you think will drive
Hannah Montana crazy?

Just be yourself.
That should do it.

You're right.

How can I do any better
than my own rico-roma?

Oh, yes. She will be mine.

Unbelievable.

I finally get a
date with Johnny,

and now rico is
gonna ruin everything.

Thanks for getting
me sick, Lilly.

My pleasure.

Ah-choo! Ah-choo!

Ew! Guys, come on.

The last thing I need
is to get sick and...

Miss the date with Johnny.

That's it. Ah-choo! Ah-choo!

Save the snot,
guys. I got plans for it.

Ah-choo!

Get away from me. You're sick.

No. It's just allergies.

Ah-choo!

Sorry.

Can you throw this away for me.

Back off, booger boy.

Hhey, hhandsome,
hhow's it going?

Hh... Get away from me.

I've got a big date on Saturday,

and nobody is going to ruin it.

Curse this rico-roma.

You owe me! Aah!

That ought to git-r-done.

♪ Yeah ♪

Hey, can we get some nachos?

No problem.

Ah-choo!

On second thought, never mind.

Operation rico sicko complete-o.

I can't get the rico
taste off my mouth.

I have to boil my lips.

Ah-choo!

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ ooh ♪

Excuse me.

Can I get a bigger spoon?

That's Hannah Montana.

I know. She's my date.

Yeah, right.

Hi. Hi.

Hi.

You said that already.

I don't care. I think it's cute.

You think that's cute,

say hello to drop-dead gorgeous.

- Ah-choo!
- Ew!

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

So, I heard you went
to school in Arizona.

How was that? Not bad.

Played a lot of basketball.

It was so hot, it was hard
to get my head in the game.

My ears are stuffed.
What'd you say?

Head in the game.
Head in the game?

You know, get my head
in the game? I get it.

Now make yourself
useful, poodle dude.

I want a picture of my first
date with my future wife.

Ahh.

Smile pretty.

This could be our
first Christmas card.

Yeah. "Happy holidays.
Love, beauty and the beast."

You so get me. Arrrrr!

Ah-choo!

Ohh...

You know, if you're
not feeling well,

you could always
go home and rest.

Good idea. Let's go, love bunny.

You can have my salad.

I'm taking the
main course to go.

Slow down, lil' Romeo.

We're all on this date together.

If you don't feel good,
you could go home.

We could have dinner
another time, you know...

A year, two, the afterlife.

I'm very flexible.

Forget it. Fine.

We'll just try to ignore him.

Rrgh! Rrgh!

How would you like
your shrimp prepared?

Hacked into tiny, little pieces.

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

Hands off the fancy cheese.

I raised you better than this.

What? You didn't
raise me at all.

Don't sass your mama, boy.

Roxy, you're not my "mama."

I'm sorry.

It's just that the
reunion is tonight,

and Clarice and...
oh, they're here.

Ow!

Robbie ray Stewart,
you take your feet

off my nice coffee table.

Yes, dear.

Clarice. Roxy.

This is my husband Edward.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you,
Eddie, and this is my man

Robbie ray.

Now, I know what
you're thinking.

I drilled for good-looking
and hit a gusher.

Ha! Yeow!

What a beautiful view
you have. Thank you.

Cost us a boatload,

but my robbiecakes
just loves to spoil me.

Ah, the things we
do for our ladies.

You have no idea, Eddie.

Hey, mom, have you seen my
college-level physics books, mom?

I didn't know we
had company, mom.

Edward, this is my
stepson Jackson.

Oh, we have a
son about your age.

He's a genius with a violin.

My Jackson is a genius, too,

on the piano. I am?

He is?

Of course he is.

He's a real bad mama jama.

We'd love to hear
you play something.

No, you wouldn't.

I like to add a
little hip-hop flair.

Yeah. He gets that from me.

We're very proud.

Jazz hands.

♪ Ooh ♪

Oh...

Oh! Ohh...

Seriously, maybe
you should go home.

Oh, you'd like
that, wouldn't you,

you walking pompom.

Hey, rico, are you
not feeling good?

That's too bad because
this food is really good.

See?

Blaagh! Oh, yeah.

Oh, no. Oh, no!

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Hannah! Come on.

He's driving me crazy, too,

but the poor kid is sick.

And he's ruining our date.

Don't you see?

He's not mean because he's
sick. He's mean because he's evil.

How do you know he's
evil? You just met him.

I can read people.
It's a gift, see?

You're hot, and he's...

Waah!

Yes!

I should've thought
of that an hour ago.

I paid 20 grand for this?

That's it. I'm out of here.

Wait, Johnny. Johnny,
where are you going?

As far away from
you as I can get.

I thought you'd be cool and
down-to-earth like your songs.

"Nobody's perfect"?
You ain't even close.

Johnny, come back.

Way to get rid
of the third wheel.

Uh!

Ew.

♪ Let's go ♪

Oh, look, Robbie ray.

Can you believe that that's
the girl you fell in love with?

I still can't believe it.

Every day with this
beautiful woman

feels like the first.

I know exactly what
you mean, Edward.

Oh, look. Roberta Franklin.

You know, I hear
she's still single,

packing groceries
in a supermarket.

Mm mm mm.

She'll probably never
show up this evening.

Well, you don't know.

I mean, she may not be a
millionaire with a gorgeous husband,

but she may be perfectly
happy with her life.

Oh, please.

How could anybody be
happy with a life like that?

It's possible.

I mean, you can
get through a lot

if you're surrounded
by people who love you.

Well, I can tell you one thing.

If I see her tonight,
I'm not speaking to her.

I will. In fact,
I'll sit with her.

It turns out, I have more in
common with her than I do with you.

What's gotten into you? Pride.

Pride in myself
and who I really am.

Now I'm gonna say
something I should've said

the minute that
you came in here.

What? Get out of my house!

Go on. Get.

Way to go, Clarice.

This is why we don't
have any friends.

Don't worry.

I'll tell her the
truth at the reunion,

if I even speak to her,
and thanks, Robbie.

Thank you for everything.

Ok. Heh. Honeymoon is over.

Just one more
second, snugglepuss.

I am so glad I'm
done with that flu.

Yeah. The only good
thing about getting sick

is, it feels so great
when it's over.

If I live that
long. I feel awful.

Oh, poor Miley.

Oh, poor both of me.

Johnny barely noticed Miley,

and now he hates ha... Hannah!

This might not
make you feel better,

but sometimes things
happen for a reason.

Maybe it just wasn't meant
to be with you and Johnny.

Uh, yeah. You're right.

That's didn't make
me feel any better.

You know, Miley, it's true.

I mean, if I've learned anything

in my past with
the ladies, it's...

Don't bring your "I'm
a chick magnet" t-shirt?

That was one time, Lilly.

Anyways, I was gonna say

if the universe doesn't want
you and Johnny together,

there's nothing you
can do about it. Yeah.

Ooh, but if the universe
wants to change its mind,

then...

How do I look? A little green.

It's a cute green. It's
a really cute green.

Miley?

Miley Stewart? Hi.

I haven't seen you
in, like, two years.

You look great.
Thanks. So do you.

I heard you had a
date with Hannah...

Montana. Yeah.

What a disaster that was.

Sorry. That's too bad.

She wasn't for me, anyway.

I like girls who are
more down-to-earth,

kind of like I
remember you were.

Really? Yeah, really.

I...

pooagh!

And the universe has spoken.

Poohagh!

And it had shrimp last night.

Who you trying to kid, boy?

That's right, daddy. I'm deep.

I just wanted you to love me.