- Previously on
vanderpump rules...
- [cheers]
- Villa blanca's
where you take your wife,
And sur's
where you take your mistress.
- The servers
all wanna be models,
Actors, writers, singers.
Me and jax just kinda bring
everyone together.
We kinda just lead
the pack.
- How's everyone
doing tonight?
I'm the new girl at sur,
And I just wanna fit in.
I don't wanna have enemies.
- I don't want
anybody in my circle
That's a husband-stealing,
Fame-whoring piece
of [bleep].
Someone came up to me
and goes,
"did you see scheana
hitting on jax?"
- Do you think
I'm gonna, like, start hitting
On your boyfriend--
- yeah.
Of course I have
insecurities about that.
- I'm gonna get
into bed with the devil.
- I am the devil,
And don't you forget it.
[pop music]
- ♪ you know
♪ that it's our time
♪ these are the best days
♪ of our lives
♪ just raise
your glasses high ♪
♪ this one's
for you tonight ♪
[upbeat rock music]
[phone ringing]
- Good afternoon. Sur.
How can I help you?
♪
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Have a second?
- Yeah, yeah, of course.
Ken and I have had
So it's always just been
the two of us together,
No partners.
But I've paid my dues
over the years, and so has ken.
We do not want to work
till 3:00 a.M. Anymore.
So guillermo
actually has to deal
With a lot of crap that
I don't wanna go anywhere near.
What I was gonna say
to you
Is gay pride's coming up.
So I was thinking,
and I'm loving this idea,
That we're gonna do
a big float,
Put all the staff on it,
up and down santa monica,
And promote the restaurant.
And why not?
It's gonna be fun, right?
- It's gonna cost money.
- Of course it costs money.
And we never have to do this.
- You know what?
You always bloody disagree
with me, that's the problem.
- And this one, I have to.
No, not always, not always.
And this one, I have to,
because like I said,
It is money.
- If you really are against it,
I won't do it.
But I think
it's a positive thing.
I think it's gonna be
a lot of fun.
I'm just gonna do
a big, pink, fur float.
It's gonna be so much fun.
We gotta support gay pride.
- Why have to be pink?
I mean, I hate pink.
- [laughs]
you are so funny.
- You're really wanting
to do it?
- I really wanna do it.
- All right.
Okay, let's do it.
Let's do it.
- All right?
- All right.
- Okay, we're good.
You're such a pushover.
[upbeat music]
♪
- ♪ gotta be
♪ on top of me
♪ you gotta be
♪ on top of me
♪ keep it cool
and don't let 'em down ♪
- Did you get your tips?
- No.
I need tips for, like,
the last, like, three days.
I gotta get paid.
- I literally have overdrafted
in my bank account.
I'm, like, negative eight.
So I'm just like,
how do I even pay for parking?
My parents cut me off
when I graduated from college.
I used to get a pretty good
amount of money a month
From my father.
He always said,
"college is your job,
"so I will give you money
while you're in school.
When you graduate,
you're done."
This is
why I wanna go to grad school.
- How's everything with jax?
- It's just
there's so many problems
That this isn't
a healthy relationship.
Like, it doesn't matter
how much I love him.
- There needs to be, like,
that something that's
Keeping you guys, like,
strong and happy and in love.
- There needs to be that,
but there also needs to be
Trust and not abandoning me,
Not leaving in the middle
of the night
And going
to god knows where.
Jax and I
are constantly fighting.
He doesn't come home
almost every other night.
He leaves me at bars,
leaves me at places,
All because he can't deal
with confrontation.
It's like we're not even
in a partnership anymore.
Like, of course I love him,
of course.
- Sure.
- You know,
of course I adore him,
But this is not
a healthy relationship.
[indistinct chatter]
Um, thank you
for bringing me to work.
- You were supposed
to bring me to work today.
I literally woke up
from a nap
Ten minutes before my shift,
and you're gone.
- I--you know what?
I honestly--
I didn't even
think about it.
I thought maybe one of the girls
was driving you to work.
That's usually what happens.
- We both were 5:00,
And you literally just
left me at home, sleeping.
Jax and I have actually
talked about marriage
A thousand times.
My only concern
is just that as a model,
You're not working 24/7,
And I would have
to pick up the tab for a lot.
- What do you want me
to tell you?
I'm sorry.
It was an accident.
I don't know what else
you want me to do.
- Just rude.
You just don't care.
Like, you don't take
responsibility for anything.
Like, you're not responsible,
and it's just annoying.
- I'm not responsible
because I forgot
To take you to work one time?
- No.
Things like this happen
all the time.
Jax has lived with me
for free for six months.
Literally, the apartment,
everything's in my name.
I got him
a job at sur,
So at least
he was making money.
And he should thank
his lucky stars
For stassi schroeder.
I'm just saying
it's annoying, whatever.
I'll get a ride back
with katie tonight.
- No, it's fine.
Katie'll bring me.
I don't even wanna deal
with it.
I wouldn't wanna
inconvenience you, seriously.
[ice rattling]
- I can't stop two people or
two servers becoming a couple,
But what I can stop
is when it becomes problematic.
Okay, here is a business.
Do you know how many people
will be in here tonight?
Tuesday night, how many people
are in here tonight?
- Lots.
This place'll be packed.
- Do you think I've got time
for this nonsense, really?
You know, it goes
against everything I stand for
To have couples working.
And she begged me
for you to work here.
And exactly
what I foresaw happening
I know your job's important
to you, and you're important--
- I love it here,
all my friends are here.
- Well, I have
more allegiance to stassi
Because she's been here
longer.
- I understand.
- And she's friend of pandora's.
And I've put up with so much
of stassi's bull[bleep],
To be honest with you,
because of those reasons.
But the two of you together
is an impossible situation.
I can't deal with that
on a daily basis.
- I know.
- Sometimes these kids
need guidance, clearly,
But sometimes they need
a good, swift kick in the ass.
- Cannot win, man.
[upbeat pop music]
- ♪ there's always something
within reach ♪
♪ hold out your arms
and see ♪
♪
- How are you?
- Good. How are you?
- Good.
- So let's do this.
- All right. Me first?
- I'll go first.
- Okay. Mom'll go first.
- Let's do it.
- Back here?
- I'm from azusa,
california,
San gabriel valley,
a little east of pasadena.
Being from l.A., I kind of
have a different outlook.
One of my best qualities
that my mom says
Is a good and bad quality
Is I don't give a [bleep]
what people think about me.
But you do have to have
tough skin in order to make it.
And I've been here
my whole life,
So I'm one step ahead.
- If you need a break,
just let me know.
- I birthed a couple children,
it's all good.
- Right, right.
- You know I have issues
with stassi.
I'm gonna be working
with these girls.
- Yeah.
- I'm kind of worried
that I'm gonna be, like,
The new girl getting hazed
and--
- Aww.
- I don't know.
But I talked to stassi.
She definitely
doesn't trust me.
- That's her insecurities.
- Exactly.
And she is--she's very insecure,
and she admits that.
And it sucks, I mean,
she's such a gorgeous girl.
She has everything
going for her.
- Yeah.
- It sucks that
Then that's put on me.
- I've always told you,
k*ll 'em with kindness,
Just always be nice.
- My mom is my best friend
in the entire world.
She was only 19
when she had me.
She's always been the most
supportive person in my life.
I love it.
- I know, right?
Whoo-hoo. Next.
- Aah.
- So you said this was for--
- for my grandma.
- For grams?
- Yeah, my mom always
had this fascination
With hummingbirds
for the longest time.
- That's cool.
- Out here in l.A., I mean,
there's so many people
I really don't worry
about letting my family down
Because they're big supporters
of me.
And I know
that no matter what I do,
They're gonna be proud
of me.
That's it? We're done?
- Yeah.
- It looks really pretty,
scheana.
- Oh, that looks so good.
Belated mother's day present.
- Aw, thanks.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Both: Mwah.
- Love it.
- All right, guys.
- Thanks, guys.
All: Bye.
- Thanks, bye. Thank you.
[beth thornley's a to z]
- ♪ it's all so right
♪ this day
can't get any better ♪
♪ so why am I
still waiting ♪
♪ for rainy weather
♪ it don't get better
than this ♪
- Can I have
a sauvignon blanc?
- I'm definitely getting
a cheeseburger.
What are you doing
the rest of the day?
- I have to go to work
at 5:00.
- Peter's birthday's
on Thursday over at mixology.
Because he really likes
this girl there and he--
- I really don't care.
- I know.
I'm just--
- Where'd you sleep
last night?
- Where do you think?
- Kristen said
you didn't sleep there.
- My car.
- Why wouldn't you sleep
at tom's?
- Because I just
didn't want to.
I had a blanket and pillow,
I was fine.
I had to get up early
for a sh**t anyway,
So it's not a big deal.
I've done it before.
- You parked in front
of our apartment?
What kind of guy decides
to sleep in his truck
Instead of coming home
to his apartment
And sleeping with his girlfriend
of two years?
A child, that's who.
- I'm just tired of sleeping
at my friends' houses.
- Well, you could've gotten out
of your car,
Taken your keys,
and opened the door
And just gotten into bed,
like, and gone to sleep,
Like a normal frickin' adult.
Use your brain.
I just don't understand.
- It's not that easy sometimes
because you get hostile.
- Jax, it was
in the middle of the night.
I was sleeping.
- Yeah, but that's usually
When you're at your prime
for yelling at me.
- No, jax.
When have I ever woken up?
Like, really?
How do you think
that makes me feel?
I am alone
in my apartment
That we're supposed
to be sharing
While you just get to go
And sleep
at your friends' house,
Then go get drinks
and get wasted,
Or go sleep in your truck
or go do whatever you want.
I don't leave.
I don't get to leave.
- We used to talk
about getting married
And, like, all this stuff.
And it's like,
what the hell was I thinking?
Like, you don't even plan
for tomorrow,
Much less a future
with a family.
I'm 23 years old.
I am a [bleep]
amazing catch.
I deserve so much better.
I have my whole life
ahead of me right now.
And I'm not gonna put up
with some 33-year-old
Leaving me every night.
I want somebody
that has his [bleep] together
And doesn't give a [bleep]
about boys' nights
And partying
and this and that.
Grow up.
Grow up.
- Okay.
When we fight and argue,
I disappear.
For me to sit there
and take the abuse
And be up until 4:00
and 5:00 in the morning
Going in circles
over why I'm a bad boyfriend
Because I didn't wash a dish
is so childish to me.
- ♪ there's nothing wrong
with me ♪
♪ and I will break down
- Coming up...
- Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
No, this is a joke.
- So inappropriate.
- Hey, guys.
All: Hi.
- Thanks for coming.
This is bp.
Katie, peter, jax.
- Hi.
- Bp's gonna be singing.
- How are you?
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.
- And he's got, like,
a pink army.
- Pink army.
My bp major army
has turned pink for pride.
- I'm really excited
because sur's going
To have a float
in the gay pride parade.
West hollywood,
we have a big presence here.
Is it gonna be good
for business?
Yes, too.
So it's a win-win situation.
- Oh, my god. Lisa!
- Whoo-hoo!
- Look at this!
- I need to pink that up
a bit.
This is chichi-chi.
This is weho, okay?
- You say weho?
All right, weho!
You got it!
- Kevin lee,
he is the queen of queens.
I love him.
He drives me crazy, yes,
But he brings results.
And I know, with him
helping me to do the float,
It's gonna be a success.
Okay, so let's do it.
- ♪ they say I want it
- Come on now.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
- No, you can be on it.
- We're gonna be on it?
- Yeah, you're on it,
and you're dancing.
- Weho, yay!
- ♪ it's just like honey
♪ and when you get
a taste of it ♪
- Working at sur
is unlike
Any other serving job
I've ever had.
Does the olive garden
have a float
In the gay pride parade?
[mouthing]
no.
- ♪ you ain't
no one-trick ♪
♪ you more like
the triple crown ♪
- You just can't even
stop yourself,
Can you, darling?
- Weho!
- Out of my seat,
let me just have a little try.
- Oh, my god.
- Little try.
See if I like it.
- All right, all right.
- I like it.
- ♪ you're so
- Got it.
- Ooh, I love it.
- It's really great,
so much fun.
- What's going on,
west hollywood?
- Let's go, lisa!
Whoo!
- Oh, my god.
- ♪ you're so phony
♪ so very,
so very phony ♪
- How's it going, man?
Morning.
How's it going?
I've been modeling
for the last ten years.
In the beginning,
I was in every magazine.
Like, I was in cosmo.
I was in gq.
I was traveling, like,
going from milan to paris
To sydney
to tokyo.
Things started to slow down
a little bit.
And I was making
all this money,
But as it was coming in,
it was going right back out.
So I took a couple bar jobs
here and there to pay the bills.
- Go right here.
Nope, index finger.
- Here?
- Yeah.
- All right.
- So hold it down here
like this?
- Yeah.
- I think stassi
kinda got me the job at sur
There's times when she's got me
fired from modeling jobs.
I had a commercial
I had to sh**t
In puerto rico
for a hotel chain.
She called up,
she's like, "well,
Is a girl gonna be there?"
I'm like, "yeah."
She called me, she's like,
"well, I can't go,
So you're not doing it."
She emailed the client
on my behalf,
Saying I can't do the job
since she can't be there.
She's pretty vicious.
- Jax, give a smile
to stassi out there.
- You're beautiful.
You're looking great.
Stay classy.
- Where's the jazz flute?
I'm a mactor--
that's a model, actor.
And I have lived in l.A.
For about three years now.
- Ready? Okay.
[shutter clicking]
Jax, a little bit this way.
There you go.
They love you.
They loved your solo.
- I met jax
on a whim.
I was trying to find
a roommate.
It was down
between me and a stripper.
And, uh, luckily for me,
He went with the more
adventurous choice,
And it worked out
in our favor.
- Right there.
Beautiful.
That's nice.
That's good.
- Dude, you're getting
into character up there.
I see you.
I see you jiving away,
Bopping the head
a little bit.
- Me, tom sandoval, and jax
lived together,
And it wasn't even
an apartment.
It was a frat house.
- [laughs]
- don't look at me.
Jax had partitioned off
the living room with a bedsheet.
- I think
I'm in this sh*t too.
- Even given the shanty
that he lived in,
He was still pulling
more girls
Than I have ever seen
any guy pull in.
I mean,
it was unbelievable.
It was like a rotating door,
that sheet.
You got any other good jobs
lined up, for modeling?
- No. I don't--
I don't really--
I'm kinda like whatever
with that.
- I know. Starting to
phase it out a little bit, huh?
- I hate that,
when you go to casting.
You go in there,
and there will be, like,
Guys that are, like,
And I'm like,
"what am I doing here?"
- Yeah.
Dude, I bet
stassi's gonna love the idea
Of you not modeling
so much anymore.
- Yeah.
She made, like, points, like,
"listen, stop the modeling.
Get your [bleep] together."
And I was like,
"all right."
It was cool when, you know,
she was in college and stuff.
And it's just
not cool anymore.
- Yeah.
- It's embarrassing,
Saying what I do.
It's not like when you're 21.
It was like,
"hey, what do you do?
If you're a single guy,
this is a great life.
- When you're 22--
- If you want a girl
in your life
Who's gonna not be
so insecure and everything,
You gotta stop it.
I gotta stop.
- Yeah.
- Like,
no girlfriend likes it.
- Yeah.
- Even if they say they do.
I guess we call it,
out here, like,
Peter pan syndrome,
for guys.
They just
don't wanna grow up.
Every day
is a party day.
One of the things that stassi
told me that I need to work on
Is I need to be
a little bit more responsible.
If I don't,
I wouldn't put it past her
To literally k*ll me.
[laughs]
Yeah, she's--
yeah.
- Aren't you gonna miss being
able to make out with girls
And it be okay?
- [laughs]
- a little bit.
[indistinct chatter]
[pop music]
♪ keep the music going
and hit play ♪
♪ if it feels good,
let me hear you say ♪
♪ turn it up, turn it up,
turn it up ♪
♪ let me hear you say,
let me hear you say ♪
- Whoo-hoo!
Looking good.
It's fun.
It's time to celebrate sur
and support gay pride.
It's a fun day.
- It was either the dress
on its own
Or a t-shirt and shorts.
Is that what you're saying?
- Take it off.
- I am saying
something like that.
- I think we're ready.
The float's
looking gorgeous.
I've got all the army.
I've got bp major.
Everything's done.
So it's really a moment
for us to kind of
Express our gratitude
to the gay community
And to be out there.
- [imitates fanfare]
- Follow the pink float.
- Weho!
- Wonderful.
- Weho!
- Okay, so where's stassi?
- That's a good question.
- Jax, morning.
- Hi.
- So where is stassi now?
- Don't know, don't care.
- Why? What's going on?
- Nothing. Just--
- Oh, leave it at home today.
Please, just leave it at home.
I need you to--
that looks too scruffy.
You gotta take it off.
- I'm gonna take it off.
I just--I just don't--
- I know, but it doesn't
look good, you know?
I worked this hard
to make it look great,
You turn up looking
like a bag of [bleep].
- It looks fabulous,
by the way, lisa.
- It's a hoodie,
it's a hoodie.
It's fabulous.
- No, no, no, I don't care.
Look, go get
your t-shirts on, okay?
Get ready, get stassi.
- Where are they?
Where are they?
- I don't know where she is.
- Oh, no.
- Yeah!
- Okay, you guys,
we're not drinking alcohol.
We are not
drinking alcohol now.
- Tip it out, tip it out.
Put it back in the bottle.
We are not drinking now,
absolutely not.
Days like this, I feel like
a bloody glorified babysitter.
I mean, I've already raised
my own kids.
I don't wanna do it again.
I'm done.
Listen to me.
Leave the drama at home, okay?
Let's have fun today.
Gay pride!
Keep away from jax
right now.
- Oh, twilight.
Our relationship used to be
so loving and supportive.
I didn't even wanna ask him.
I told him like,
"I didn't want
to get to the point
"where I had to ask you
to literally change yourself.
I wanted you to--
to grow up on your own."
- We--honestly,
we hate each other.
We despise each other.
- I'm like, "jax,
I keep trying to tell you
"what you're doing wrong,
And, like,
you're not fixing it."
- I've been trying
and trying and trying.
- I'm 23 years old.
I just shouldn't put up
with this [bleep].
Are you kidding?
I've been in enough
serious relationships
That I now know
exactly what I want,
And taking care
of a 33-year-old man
Isn't really high
on my list.
I wanna date a man
who is a man.
- Coming up...
- You literally
are taking shirtless pictures
With scheana,
the home-wrecking whore.
- Stop being so insecure.
I mean, don't put on
the waterworks now.
[groans]
god!
[cheers and applause]
- Whoo!
Okay, are we ready to go?
I need a breathalyzer
on this float, I'll tell you.
- I think--
I don't think pink suits you.
Do you wanna take
their shirt off?
- Do you mind?
- Take it off.
- No attitude,
just do it.
Oh, no, put it back.
[chuckles]
Now that's better.
- Okay.
- I will say,
jax with his shirt off,
You know, it's, uh,
not a bad thing to look at.
- Ready, lisa?
- I'm ready.
Thank you, darling.
- You're gonna be
a queen of the day, huh?
- I think
that's your job, but--
- Oh, no.
It's your job, my love.
- We're moving.
[horn honks]
- yoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo!
- Weho!
- Gay pride!
- Weho!
- Weho, weho!
- Whoo!
- Happy pride, guys!
[techno music]
Who'd have thought,
guillermo, huh?
- Look at where we are.
[cheering]
- Happy pride!
Sur is an experience.
One minute,
you're waiting on tables.
The next minute, you're
on a big, puffy, pink float
In gay parade.
Happy pride!
Ken is possibly
the worst driver I know.
He's had so many rear ends.
- Are you serious?
- Not as many
as you've had though.
- Ooh, forget that.
Oh, my god.
[both cheering]
- ♪ in circles
♪ I know you wanna dance
with me ♪
- I'm having fun.
No.
I think the guys
have some.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
- Wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
No, this is a joke.
- So inappropriate.
Really, really?
- That's so rude.
- Really inappropriate.
Scheana has a boyfriend,
so I would hope
That she wasn't taking
the fact
That jax and I
were having troubles
As a time
to pounce on him.
That's disgusting.
- I'm getting
the evil eyes over there.
- Stassi is possessive.
If I so much
as looked up at somebody,
She would, like,
get pissed.
- So classless
and extremely inappropriate.
Jax!
- What are you doing?
- Don't ask me to defend you
ever again.
- Oh, you need sunscreen
that bad?
- I don't know,
me, tom, your girlfriend.
Classless.
Classless, both of you.
- These girls blow everything
out of proportion.
I'm like, "dude."
- Why are we upset?
Why are we pouting?
- I'm not pouting.
- You look like
you're pouting to me.
- Knowing what I know
about scheana,
This is exactly why
I didn't wanna be your friend,
Exactly why I have not
accepted you into my circle.
Like,
you're proving me right.
You were being a skank.
Can someone talk some sense
into him right now?
- Hey.
Where are you going?
- Going to check out
a gross situation.
- You guys, can you, like,
calm down a little bit?
- I'm doing anything to be--
- Scheana, you know
exactly what you're doing.
- We're the only two people
back here, kristen.
No one else is back here.
- But you can't be like--
- It wasn't a big deal.
Like, I just did a little--
duh, duh, duh, pat, pat.
You're done. It wasn't like
I was like, "yeah,"
Getting into it.
Look, I'm not,
like, trying.
I have a boyfriend.
I'm just sitting back here.
- I'm sure shay would love
this look right now.
- Because I put
some lotion on.
- How would you feel, babe?
- And he's the only one
that can put
Suntan lotion on each other.
- If there's anything
happening,
If there's any kind
of conflict,
I can guarantee that kristen
is right in the middle of it.
If it's happening,
she's not involved,
Trust me,
she soon will be.
Go back to your--that's
why you were down this end.
- I'm standing over here
by myself.
- It's rude.
It's really rude.
- Go back there.
You're being rude.
- It's her boyfriend.
- She's not doing anything.
It's got nothing
to do with you.
It's their relationship.
- Yeah, bring it.
- I swear to god.
- Okay, so nothing
to do with you.
- Yeah, she needs to put herself
in stassi's place.
- How would she feel
if shay was there,
That--she's impossible.
- Right?
So what do you
want me to do,
Just keep staring at that
and not say anything?
- Just let it go.
You know what?
Don't feed the fire.
Don't feed the fire.
- Can't deal
with these girls.
They always do this.
It's like the three of them
and me.
This should be a fun summer.
- Right?
- ♪ got the boy wrapped
right around her finger ♪
♪ can you feel it?
♪ got them all wrapped...
- Hey, baby, how are you doing?
- I miss you.
- Miss you.
- I know.
- Look at you,
Lookin' all gorgeous
and pink.
- Oh, god.
I feel like a hot mess.
But it's great to see you.
- You too, darling.
- It's been crazy.
Did you go into the parade?
- I didn't get
to see the parade.
I woke up too late.
- Oh!
- I didn't know that
you were gonna be there--
- You woke up too late?
- I know.
- Our float was off the hook.
- The parade's so early.
- I know. All right,
good to see you, lance.
[indistinct chatter]
- It's so good to see you.
Mwah.
- All right, darling.
- All right, love you.
- What is going on?
This is the problem,
I told you,
about working together.
Remember that?
I said that to you?
I gave you the heads-up.
You guys
choose to work together.
- I know.
I-I literally--
Like, I bur--
like, I dug my own grave.
I'm pissed at myself.
- You know what?
This--you gotta--
Really, keep it at home,
stassi.
- I'm trying. I know.
- But you never
try hard enough.
- But I'm not crying
or throwing a temper--
- You made the big deal
out of scheana.
- I know. I'm actually
not even mad at scheana.
I'm mad at jax.
- You're always mad at jax.
What's the difference today?
Let's go to work,
and let's talk later.
Stassi just
has to knock it off
And put her feelings aside
About her relationship
with jax.
We got a party to throw.
Come on, guys,
get it together.
- [crying]
- I'm so sorry.
I'm really sorry that
this is happening right now.
Wait, I don't--like,
what did lisa say though?
I mean, like--
- "oh, you're dramatic.
"da-da-da-da-da, you always
are fighting with jax.
"oh, that was ridiculous.
"like, that meant nothing.
Like, that was stupid
to even get mad at."
And I'm like--
- It's not stupid
to get mad at.
- Now I feel it's not.
- Your relationship
is literally, like--
It's on, like, some thin ice
right now, so--
- So I try not
to be dramatic for once.
So I'm trying to just
hold my [bleep] together.
But it's just bottled in
and bottled in and--
[whimpers]
and bottled in.
Jesus, like, what the [bleep]
do you want from me?
- Mikey told me last night
that we're getting new dresses.
- They're just going
to the favored few.
- Which is me.
- So scheana's got
the first one.
- Pink is not my color.
- How did you get
a job here?
- I wear black.
I love not being
a favorite.
Yes!
- They're driving me crazy
today.
[both chuckling]
What am I doing?
I need a holiday,
I really do.
- I need
my white wines.
- I'm sorry.
- Wait. Hold on one second,
and I'll get you some wine.
Do you wanna talk
for a second here, or--?
Steven, can you take care
of this for a second?
Steven, can you take care
of this for a second?
I gotta step outside.
- It's coming out right now.
- All right.
- You wanna step outside
for a second?
We'll get someone
to take care of the wines.
So--
Little obstacle here?
What--what's--I mean,
we gotta squash this.
This is just too--
- Did you just say,
"squash this"?
You literally are taking
shirtless pictures
With scheana,
the home-wrecking whore.
Just you two together,
The whole entire time
on the float.
- She has a boyfriend.
She made that quite clear.
- I don't care.
Jax, I don't care if she has--
I don't care about--
that is irrelevant.
And you know you're wrong
because every single person
Said, "what a [bleep] d*ck."
- I don't care
if the whole world saw it.
- Are you really not admitting
what you did wrong?
- No.
- Are you serious?
- We were in a parade.
- You really don't think
you did anything wrong?
- Stop being so insecure.
Be the bigger person.
- Insec--
You knew
it was inappropriate!
- Every single day
there's an issue
Where you're upset
about something,
Every single day.
I mean, don't put on
the waterworks now.
Why? Why do you keep it up?
- You're such a mean person.
- I'm not mean.
Every day it's,
"jax, you do this.
Jax, you do that."
I mean, I can only take so much.
- 'cause you do.
The other night you admitted it.
- It's this, this, this, this
All day long.
- You said, "you're right.
I am mean to you.
I am mean to you."
You admitted it
the other night.
- Only because it's like,
I can only take so much.
You're on, on, on,
on all day.
[groans]
god!
Oh, my god.
- Coming up...
- He asked me
to rub the lotion on him.
- I don't give a [bleep].
- No.
- I'm [bleep] sorry.
- I don't give a [bleep].
I don't give a [bleep].
- I'm sorry.
- I need my boots.
Have you seen my boots?
Wait, I need socks.
Sunglasses?
Okay, wait a minute.
Phone, wallet, keys.
- Homeskillet.
- Hold on.
- Tom doesn't like
to open his mail ever.
So when tom gets
traffic tickets,
Parking tickets,
notices for court,
He doesn't open it.
So he got
his license suspended.
- You got my boots?
Wait.
- I'm tom's chauffeur.
Drives me nuts.
- I said
take la cienega around.
Go straight.
- Thanks for telling me
to go right.
- It's right there
on the corner.
So what you're gonna do is,
you're gonna pull--
Take a right,
and we're gonna--
Wait, no.
I lied.
You're gonna go straight.
- I'm a really, really nice,
patient girlfriend.
Where is the parking lot?
- [laughs]
- Tom, are you being serious
right now?
It's not funny.
- I'm sorry, babe.
I'm sorry.
Relax.
- Get a license, homey.
Ugh.
- ♪ [vocalizing]
- ♪ let's get
this party started ♪
- ♪ [vocalizing]
- ♪ come on
- ♪ come with me
- Happy birthday!
- Hi!
- Oh!
- Happy birthday.
- Okay. All right,
all right, all right.
Okay, I understand.
How you doing?
- Happy birthday.
- Peter, you need to do
a birthday sh*t.
- Okay, all right,
all right.
- Okay.
- Smash 'em on down.
- Okay, to peter.
[overlapping chatter]
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Happy birthday.
- L'chaim.
- You guys--
- l'chaim.
- Bottoms up!
[cheers]
Let's get another round.
- We're a pretty tight crew
at sur.
And in between
all the screaming
And shouting matches,
we, overall,
Are a pretty
tight-knit family.
Dysfunctional at times,
but tight-knit.
- Beautiful.
That's magical.
- You're gonna love that.
- Yeah, like,
without a doubt.
I'm leaving.
- She's like,
"I know you like me."
I'm like, "whoa."
- Hey, happy birthday.
- Hey!
- You're doing sh*ts
without me?
- How's life?
- Good.
- Awesome, awesome.
- Hi.
- How's it going?
- Good to see you.
I do wanna
talk to you later though.
- Yeah.
I would rather
poke my eyes out
With steaming hot needles
Than talk to scheana
right now.
I just wanna have fun
with all my friends.
- Awkward.
- What?
- Just I told stassi that I need
to talk to her later, so--
I know.
Well, can we get a drink?
- Yeah, let's go right now.
- [laughs]
- Where's jax?
- I think he's working.
- He is working.
- I told him to come by.
I'ma text jax.
"where you at, man?"
- Did you talk to scheana?
- No.
She said she wanted
to talk to me,
But, no,
I haven't talked to her.
It's not really on the--
I don't really
have anything to say.
- List of priorities?
- If she wants to talk to me,
Fine.
I have nothing to say to her.
Like, "what's up,
home-wrecker?
"uh, thank you
for humiliating me
"and trying to, like,
ruin, which you did,
A day that was supposed
to be really fun."
- What are they doing
over there?
They're just, like,
congregating.
I like at parties how,
like, people,
Like, just stick together
like that.
- Most of us have been
at sur for a very long time,
And we are a very
tight knit group.
We still have no people
coming in,
But it doesn't
sit well with us
When they do.
- Okay.
- All right,
go handle your business...
So me and you
can have a good time.
- I know.
- Okay?
- Let me drink this,
and I'll go.
- Look at you, champ.
- One more.
All right.
- Okay? I love you.
- I love you too.
- Have fun.
- Wish me luck.
Where is she?
She keeps disappearing.
She's, like, hiding from me.
- No, I was just telling tiffany
about the photographer.
- Okay, wait, no, I have no idea
what we're doing--
I have no idea
what you signed me up for.
I don't know
if it's just for the website
Or if it's for print.
Honestly, I didn't ask.
To work this photographer,
I would do it for free.
Honestly, I--
- hey.
- Hey.
- Can I steal you for a second
Or join the conversation?
Whichever you
would prefer.
- We're just talking
about our sh**t tomorrow.
- I hate confrontation,
Especially when it comes
to confronting stassi.
She's unstable,
she's really mean,
And she's kind of crazy.
But I have to confront her,
so the work environment's
Could we just, like,
sit right there really quick?
- Yeah.
- I just--
- You okay?
- Yeah. It's fine.
- I'll get up. I'll move.
- No, it's fine.
We'll go sit somewhere.
- No,
I just wanna apologize
If I hurt your feelings,
If I offended you,
if I was out of line,
If I was too flirty.
- Don't say "if."
If you actually
are gonna have an apology
And apologize to me,
I'd like you to realize
What you did
and not say "if."
Do you know what I'm saying?
- No, no, no. I know.
- And to be like,
"I messed up.
I hurt you. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to."
I'd appreciate that
so much more than,
"sorry, if--"
Scheana
is a home-wrecking whore.
I'm sorry,
but you kind of did
Wreck a family.
- I'm genuinely sorry
for being flirty,
For having a good time,
for rubbing lotion...
- Okay, but knowing--
- on his shoulders.
- That is so inappropriate
and wrong.
Like, it is so wrong, like--
- He asked me
to rub the lotion on him.
- I don't give a [bleep].
- I know.
- I'm [bleep] sorry.
- I don't give a [bleep].
I don't give a [bleep].
- I'm sorry.
Me, naturally, I can come off
as a flirty person,
Which I know,
and I've gotten in trouble for.
And sometimes I can be
out of line.
Like, seriously--
- I know, the thing is,
I don't mean any harm.
It's just--
- But then you need
to watch yourself.
'cause, like, it honestly
would've hurt just as much
If jax and I were--
would've been
Totally, 100% fine,
It would've hurt
just as much.
- I know.
No, and I understand that.
We just have
this sort of, like, thing.
It was like, you know,
the issue with me and brandi.
- It's, like, proving me right.
- I know.
- And then you go
and do this to my boyfriend.
- I'm sorry.
- I know that.
But it does
make things awkward.
'cause it makes me
feel like--
So what are you gonna do
the next time
Jax comes around now?
- ♪ happy birthday
- Have you been drinking yet?
- No, I need a drink.
- Wait, wait, wait.
- Then get to the bar and drink.
- Let me get to the bar.
- Like, whoa.
Don't know
what I was walking into.
I just heard voices.
- Did you really not?
- I knew he was coming
at some point.
I just didn't know
he was here right now.
- All right, dude,
I'm sorry.
Are these strong?
- I won't do that again.
- I know you won't.
I hope not.
[indistinct chatter]
- You're drinking wine?
- No, it's melissa's.
She just handed it to me.
She went to the restroom.
- Oh, yeah, boom.
There she is.
- Dude, jax.
No, no!
[laughs]
No, jax.
No, dude,
that was supposed to be--
Hey, that was supposed
to be for everybody.
- What the [bleep]
did I just do?
That's a lot of sh*ts
I just did.
I didn't even think about it,
I just did it.
I just went with it.
- Wait.
We need one more.
We need one more.
- Oh, my god.
I just did seven sh*ts.
- He came in like the fonz,
like, "hey.
Party's here.
Hey."
Goes straight to the bar
and downs seven massive sh*ts
Before even saying hello
to his girlfriend.
It's time to grow up.
- Thank you so much.
Thank you.
It's drink time.
I heard you picked up
my girlfriend. Thanks.
Appreciate it.
- Who else was gonna do it?
You were working.
- I know.
- That's what a friend does.
- What is it?
- It's a drink.
- I don't under--
- What's up, little lady?
- Uh-oh.
- How you doing?
Um, I don't know you.
I'm jax.
- Are you serious right now?
I'm like,
"is he freakin' for real?"
Lame.
What--like, what are you
even doing right now?
Like--
- just giving you a drink.
I'm just--
I mean, it's a--
It's an atmosphere
where everyone's having fun.
I don't think
it's a big deal
To say hi and everything.
- I can't continue on
another two years
In a relationship.
I'm looking out
for number one.
- You know
I'm a good boyfriend.
- You're a good boyfriend
But then the other 30%,
You're absolute [bleep].
And I wanna have
a good boyfriend all the time.
- Like, we can't throw
all this away, we just can't.
We have so much invested
in this.
I just don't think we should
just be like, "end it."
- I've done everything
to make this work.
- I don't want you to, like,
put the foot down
And be like,
"all right, it's over."
- You need to realize
what it's like to not have me.
- Coming up...
- Every day it's an argument.
- Exactly!
Exactly, that's why
we're in this situation.
Are you kidding?
- This is when
the party starts. Hello!
- Does this mean
we're leaving?
- Thank you so much.
We'll definitely be back.
It's a breakup, jax.
- [mutters indistinctly]
- For the love of god,
take it seriously.
- Oh, my god.
You're gonna go two years
And then just turn it off?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- He's not understanding
that I am serious.
Like, this is a breakup.
- Every day it's an argument.
- Exactly!
Exactly, that's why
we're in this situation.
Are you kidding?
You don't listen to me.
You just think your thoughts
while I'm talking.
- [chuckles]
I'm, like, lost.
I don't know what you want.
- I've told you--
- I don't even know
what you want.
- I have told you
exactly what I want.
I have told you
exactly what I want,
Exactly what I want.
- I just asked what you wanted.
You seemed like
you were having f--
- You know what I want!
Don't play dumb.
You know what I want.
Now stop.
Stop it.
- Okay, that's fine.
- You know exactly
what I want.
- That's fine.
- What do I want, jax?
- To grow up--
I get it.
I'm gonna do that,
for both of us.
- So your idea
of growing up
Was showing up
at peter's birthday
And doing a bunch of sh*ts
and getting wasted?
I don't care
if it's your friends!
- I don't care!
- I'm not gonna show up?
- No, you can show up
and be an adult.
Be an adult and have a cocktail
and be an adult.
- I had a couple sh*ts.
- Don't do a bunch of sh*ts.
- Oh, so what? I'm fine.
- Be an adult!
- I'm still normal.
- You just--
Literally I say every day,
"okay, prove yourself to me.
Prove yourself to me."
And every day you fail.
- Fine, fine, fine.
- This isn't gonna happen.
I'll find my own way home.
- I'm tired of arguing.
Let's go.
- I'll find my own way home.
No, I'm gonna find
my own way home.
- Where are you going?
Don't call a cab,
I'm going home.
We're going home.
I'm fine.
Everything's fine.
I'm going home.
Stop it.
Oh, my god.
Are you [bleep] kidding me?
After two years,
I don't understand how stassi
Can just give up
on the one you love.
I feel defeated.
I'm trying.
- Trying to what?
What are you trying to do?
What are you trying to do?
- Will you just--
I'm being sweet.
- No, you can't act like
we're in a relationship
When we're not.
Like, do you not get that?
Like, do you not get that
there needs to be a breakup?
Do you not get that?
- That--that's crap.
- It's not my problem.
- I--
- And I'm not
gonna feel bad.
I'm not gonna feel bad
for you, I'm not.
You don't have me anymore.
Go get your own damn place.
Go get your own furniture.
Go get your own tv.
Go make a life
for yourself.
- All right, fine, fine.
All right,
if that's what you want.
- ♪ I'm a prisoner
♪ whoa
♪ free me
from these chains ♪
- Next time
on vanderpump rules...
- Yo, casey, did you have sex
with tom sandoval?
- It was a long time ago.
- [laughs]
- Like, I feel like
I'm gonna throw up right now.
- It was a [bleep]
long time ago.
- Okay. So what?
- I don't care!
- This is like me and stassi.
- I'm really happy
when I'm with frank.
I now feel torn
between two people.
[techno music]
♪
- You are my girl.
You will always be my girl.
- What do I want?
I don't know what I want.
- I love you so much.
- Stassi, not only
she's not coming at lunch,
Like,
she just texts me
That she's not coming tonight.
- Take stassi off,
and then put scheana on.
And that will shake it up
a bit.
To see more
of vanderpump rules,
01x02 - This Is a Break-Up
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Focuses on Lisa Vanderpump and the staff at her restaurants and bars: SUR Restaurant & Lounge, Pump Restaurant, and Tom Tom Restaurant & Bar, in West Hollywood, California.
Focuses on Lisa Vanderpump and the staff at her restaurants and bars: SUR Restaurant & Lounge, Pump Restaurant, and Tom Tom Restaurant & Bar, in West Hollywood, California.