13x01 - The Pork Chop

[bunniefuu]

[RuPaul][span style="italic"] It's a new year[/i]

and a new season

with all new surprises.

[RuPaul laughs]

[queen] Girl!

[laughs]

From the hood to Hollywood.

I'm Kandy Muse,
and I'm the Dominican doll

from New York City. Eoww.

My drag style is kind of like

if you took a sex doll
and threw her in the Bronx,

that is literally me.

My most impressive drag talent
is my mouth.

[pop] I'm a good lip-syncer.

I'm a loud-ass bitch.

Everyone can be a drag queen,

but not everyone's gonna be a star.

I'm a star.

First one!

Oh, my God, bitch, Season 13.

Most people might recognize me
from the former Haus of Aja.

And when we dismembered
and broke up,

I was definitely a loudmouth,

and I would say things about Aja

that maybe
I should have kept to myself.

But I also think that
she was a little jealous of me.

Come on, Miss Anastasia
Beverly Hills.

I want a sponsorship,
thank you very much.

She used to be, like,

"Well, you're not famous,
so tone it down."

But now I'm here.

Well, no, I'm here.

[laughs]

That's so shady.

First one. Seems correct.

I'm here to prove that I am more

than just Kandy Muse
from the Haus of Aja.

I can stand as an entertainer
by my damn self.

I look f*cking stunning.

Being the first bitch
to walk in the competition

after waiting years
to get on [span style="italic"]Drag Race[/i]

is such a f*cking dream.

I am so excited to be here.

Come on, now!

And now, any bitch
that walks in after me,

second place. [laughs]

-Ooh.
-Filler queen.

"Filler queen?"

My name is Joey Jay,

and I'm the dumbest bitch
you'll ever meet.

She's wacky, she's crazy,
she's an adrenaline rush.

I can perform the house down,
boots back, bareback.

To be here, it is
a dream come true, so…

I lost my train of thought.

-Aah!
-Oh, what up, bitch?

Come on, Season 13, sister!

-Hi, baby! Mwah, mwah.
-Hi, babe. Kandy.

Joey. Oh, my God,
I'm molting, girl.

Miss Thing is wearing
a chicken-feather coat.

Chicken feathers.

There are feathers all over the floor.

Bok bok bok!

-[Kandy] Come on, chicken feathers.
-Bok! Bok!

Chicken feathers are
the least expensive feathers

that there are in the planet.

Girl, not even a marabou coat?

So wait. You do drag
full-time in your city?

No, I don't. I work
for a software company.

This is just
my little nighttime gig.

Oh, OK. Werk. How many
shows a week do you do?

-Just one.
-Just one?

[Joey]
Y'all think I'm a basic bitch.

You're not wrong.

I can't eat spicy foods,

I like Vanessa Carlton.

But don't underestimate
us Vanessa Carltons.

Really, bitch, I'm gonna
be in that top four.

Filler queen.

Plot twist.

This is my third time auditioning.

Oh, this is my fourth.

-Word.
-[alarm[span style="italic"] [/i]blares, thunder]

[RuPaul][span style="italic"] Ooh, girl.[/i]

She done already done had herses.

Girl, what?

What?

There's only two of us?

Ah! What is going on here?

Welcome, my queens.

What? You weren't expecting
to see me so soon?

No, ma'am.

Well, I hope
you like surprises,

because I've got a big one,

and it's right around
the corner.

Racers, please report
to the main stage.

Ooh.

Like, now.

-Girl. Gag.
-Ah.

I am so confused right now,

and I have no idea
what's about to go down.

Girl, I am goofed and gagged.

[RuPaul laughs]

["Cover Girl"
by RuPaul playing]

♪ Cover girl ♪

♪ Put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe ♪

♪ Let your whole body talk ♪

♪ And what? ♪

Welcome to the main stage
of[span style="italic"] RuPaul's Drag Race,[/i]

and we are serving Season 13

with some serious safety, honey.

Michelle Visage, what do you
think of the new judges' panel?

Baby, I feel like
I'm the head teller

at RuPaul's Savings and Loan.

-[RuPaul laughs]
-Wanna make a deposit?

[all laugh]

The hilarious Ross Mathews.
Now, what do you think?

You know what, I love it,

and I even brought
my own squeegee.

Hi! Oh, Carson, hi!

-Michelle!
-[RuPaul laughs]

And style superstar
Carson Kressley.

Are you ready
to read some lips?

Which ones?

[laughs] Both sets.

[all laugh]

Tonight we're doing things
just a little differently.

For the first time
in[span style="italic"] Drag Race [/i]herstory,

we're kicking off the season

with six "Lip-Syncs For Your Lives."

Now, some will shantay

and some will sashay away.

Wow.

Ooh, child,
you ain't ready for this.

[all laugh]

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best
drag queen win.

What the f*ck is going on?

Yo, I just walked into[span style="italic"] Drag Race[/i]

and now I'm standing
on the main stage

and I don't know what
is about to happen.

I can't look at RuPaul in the eyes,
'cause I'm getting so nervous.

I'm already feeling scared
as f*ck and insecure,

but I signed up for this.

Get it together.

Welcome, ladies.
Surprised to see me?

You've made it to the main
stage of[span style="italic"] RuPaul's Drag Race,[/i]

and so soon!

We'd like to take this moment

to get to know you
a little bit better.

Judges, say hello
to Kandy Muse.

-Hi, Kandy.
-Hi, Kandy.

-Hello.
-[Michelle] I would love to know

what makes this
a signature Kandy Muse look.

It's sexy, slutty, denim.

It's from Brooklyn,
it's New York.

I heard you're a member
of the Haus of Aja?

-That's the former Haus of Aja, but yes.
-Ooh.

-[Kandy laughs]
-Well, what house now?

The Dollhaus, with my drag sis
Dahlia Sin from Season 12.

You're part of the broccoli bunch.

-Fierce broc-ally.
-OK.

International House of Pancakes here.

[all laugh]

Judges, say hello to Joey Jay.

Tell us about your look, Joey.

Well, I like chicken,
I like the cluck, I like a buck,

so I decided to dress up
as all three.

Cluck, cluck. [tongue pop]

[laughs]

What inspired you to do drag?

Self-expression,
and cluckin' and buckin'.

[RuPaul] Thank you, Joey.

Thank you.

Ladies, your charisma,
uniqueness, nerve, and talent

got you here.

Now let's see
what you can do with it.

Two queens stand before me.

Prior to tonight,

you were asked to prepare
a lip-sync performance

of "Call Me Maybe"
by Carly Rae Jepsen.

In a moment, I'll ask
one of you to shantay

and one of you to sashay away.

[Kandy][span style="italic"] [/i]Bitch, excuse me?

We just walked into
the competition,

and we have to
lip sync for our lives?

One of us is about to go home.
And it ain't gonna be me.

Ladies, this is your
first chance to impress me

and save yourself from…

getting the porkchop.

[pig squeals]

-The time has come…
-[thunder]

…for you to lip sync…

[echoing] for your life!

[Joey][span style="italic"] [/i]Even though I'm shook
as f*ck on the inside,

I'm a lip-sync assassin.
Eat it.

Good luck,
and don't f*ck it up.

[music plays]

[all chuckle]

♪ I threw a wish in the well ♪

♪ Don't ask me
I'll never tell ♪

♪ I looked to you as it fell ♪

♪ And now you're in my way ♪

♪ I trade my soul for a wish ♪

♪ Pennies and dimes
For a kiss ♪

♪ I wasn't looking for this ♪

♪ But now you're in my way ♪

♪ Your stare was holding ♪

♪ Ripped jeans
Skin was showin' ♪

♪ Hot night, wind was blowin' ♪

♪ Where you think
You're going, baby? ♪

♪ Hey, I just met you
And this is crazy ♪

♪ But here's my number
So call me maybe ♪

♪ It's hard to look
Right at you, baby ♪

♪ But here's my number
So call me maybe ♪

♪ Hey, I just met you
And this is crazy ♪

♪ But here's my number… ♪

Well, Miss Ru, I just met you,
and this is crazy.

♪ And all the other boys… ♪

[Kandy] Whatever this bitch is doing,

girl, I can give two shits,

because this stage is mine.

Take out your dollars, bitch.

♪ Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad ♪

♪ I missed you so bad ♪

[echoing][span style="italic"] ♪ I missed you[/i]
[span style="italic"]So, so bad ♪[/i]

-[RuPaul laughs]
[span style="italic"]-♪ Bad, bad, bad ♪[/i]

♪ It's hard to look
Right at you, baby ♪

♪ But here's my number
So call me maybe ♪

♪ Hey, I just met you
And this is crazy ♪

♪ But here's my number
So call me maybe ♪

♪ Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad ♪

♪ I missed you so bad ♪

♪ I missed you so, so bad ♪

♪ Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad ♪

♪ And you should know that ♪

♪ So call me maybe ♪

[laughter and applause]

Ladies, I've made my decision.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity.

I'm not going home
before I even start.

f*ck.

[RuPaul][span style="italic"] The winner[/i]
[span style="italic"]of [/i]RuPaul's Drag Race

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills
cosmetics,

and a cash prize of $100,000.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ Best woman win ♪

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Kandy Muse, shantay, you stay.

Thank you so much.

[Kandy]
RuPaul called my name,

and I tried to stay real calm
and bow down.

Thank you so much.

But, bitch, I'm inside,
I'm like, "Ooh, bitch,

I won the m*therf*cking
lip sync! Ha-ha!

[RuPaul] Joey Jay, 
I'm sorry, my dear,

but that means
you're getting the porkchop.

You are and will always be
[span style="italic"]Drag Race [/i]royalty.

Now sashay away.

Mwah. Thank you so much.

I'm really sad
to leave the competition.

I worked so hard to get here,
just to go home early.

I don't wanna go home, girl.

[RuPaul][span style="italic"] Let's see who's next.[/i]

Let me break the ice.

I'm Denali, and I am
Chicago's ice queen.

So I am icy, spicy,
and a little bit dicey.

OK!

First one in.
Winners come in first.

Aside of drag,
I'm a professional ice skater.

I am drag's gold-medal bitch.

And I might not have made it to
the Olympics in figure skating,

but I did make it
to the Olympics in drag.

I am competitive,
and I'm here to win that crown.

Oh, what you say,
what you say?

LaLa Ri is here to slay!

I am the sensational,
dynamic LaLa Ri.

She's ratchet, she's sexy,
she gives you a little glamour.

LaLa Ri is like
a Olive Garden pasta

with, like, Popeye's
chicken tenders on the top

for the razzle-dazzle.

Most of all,
she's entertaining, girl.

-Hi!
-Hi!

Oh, my God, nice to meet you.

I'm Denali.

-LaLa Ri.
-Oh, my God.

Girl.

Not gonna lie.
I was expecting a little bit more.

Your entrance look
is a basic bodysuit, a blazer,

and this kind of like
flat wig.

OK, cute.

-We're the first two in, bitch.
-I know.

First two in, last two out.

-[alarm blares, thunder]
-Oh.

[RuPaul][span style="italic"] Ooh, girl.[/i]

She done already
done had herses.

-But--
-Bitch.

Wait. What's going on?

What--hol' on!

One plus one equals two,

if you carry the three, minus four,
it don't add up.

What is really the tea?

Hello, dolls.

The competition
has started without you,

so get your sassy selves
to the main stage.

We're waiting!

Uh, OK.

Holy shit, this is crazy.
There's two of us.

Why would we be going
to the main stage already?

I am feeling just gagged.

I'm sorry, floors.

Welcome, ladies.
I'm so glad you could join us.

You know, people come and go
so fast around here.

We'd like to take this moment

to get to know you
a little bit better.

Let's start with Denali.

Hey, Denali.

Hey, Michelle.

So tell me about this look.

Well, I'm a professional
figure skater outside of drag,

so I love to mold
the two worlds.

Just when I thought the show
couldn't get any gayer,

now we have figure skating?

[RuPaul laughs]

But I have a serious question
for you, OK?

Are you more of a Tonya Harding
or a Nancy Kerrigan?

I'm definitely more of a Tonya,
if you know what I mean.

I know what you mean.

[imitating Nancy Kerrigan] Why?

Why?

-[all laugh]
-Why?

Next up, LaLa Ri.

Hey, LaLa Ri.

-Hey, girl.
-You know, I always love

when a queen comes out
missing her trousers.

[all laugh]

But she got her jacket on.

So tell us about
what does this look say to you.

Yes, LaLa Ri is very sexy,
but a little classy,

so this represents
the class and the sex.

And the ass.

-Of course.
-[Michelle] There you go.

[Carson]
LaLa, I wanted to ask you,

could beat Denali in a lip-sync?

Of course I think I can
beat Denali in a lip-sync.

I mean, she's a lovely girl
and all, but bring it.

Well, we will see about that.

We're doing things a little
differently this season.

Two queens stand before me.

[LaLa][span style="italic"] [/i]Lip-sync?

[Denali] I absolutely
am a lip-sync assassin,

but not in ice skates.

Ladies, this is your
first chance to impress me

and save yourself
from getting the porkchop.

[pig squeals]

-The time has come…
-[thunder]

for you to lip sync…

for your life.

[LaLa][span style="italic"] [/i]I'm an entertainer

so Miss LaLa Ri
is about to give you hell,

about to bring you fire.

She can give you everything
you need, plus more.

Good luck,
and don't f*ck it up.

♪ Boys call you sexy ♪

♪ What's up, sexy? ♪

♪ And you don't care
What they say ♪

♪ See, every time
You turn around ♪

♪ They screaming your name ♪

♪ Dark child ♪

♪ Now I've got
A confession… ♪

[LaLa][span style="italic"] [/i]Boom, I automatically
just hit my performance mode.

I'm thinking, OK, bitch,
it's time for you to shine.

♪ But I ain't complaining ♪

♪ We all wanna be famous ♪

♪ So go ahead
And say what you wanna say ♪

I was not expecting
to lip sync.

This is not a lip-sync outfit,
but Imma make it work.

♪ When I grow up
I wanna be famous ♪

[Denali] I decided to do
a cartwheel. OK.

Nobody got a haircut.

♪ Drive nice cars ♪

♪ I wanna be have groupies
When I grow up, be on TV ♪

♪ People know me
Be on magazines ♪

♪ When I grow up
Fresh and clean ♪

♪ Number one chick
When I step out on the scene ♪

♪ Be careful
What you wish for ♪

♪ 'Cause
You just might get it ♪

-♪ Hey! ♪
-♪ You just might get it ♪

-♪ Hey! ♪
-♪ You just might get it ♪

♪ I see them staring at me ♪

♪ Ooh, I'm a trendsetter ♪

♪ Yes, this is true
'Cause what I do ♪

♪ No one can do it better ♪

♪ You can talk about me ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm a hot topic ♪

♪ I see you watching me
Watching me ♪

♪ And I know you want it, oh ♪

♪ When I grow up ♪

♪ I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star ♪

♪ I wanna be in movies ♪

♪ When I grow up
I wanna see the world ♪

♪ Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies ♪

♪ When I grow up
fresh and clean ♪

♪ Number one chick
When I step out on the scene ♪

♪ Be careful
What you wish for ♪

♪ 'Cause
You just might get it ♪

-♪ Hey! ♪
-♪ You just might get it ♪

-♪ Hey! ♪
-♪ You just might get it ♪

♪ Get it ♪

[Michelle] Whoo!

[laughter and applause]

Ladies, I've made my decision.

I didn't come here
to go home early.

I'm just gonna pray on it.

Just let me…

throw it up and bring it down.

Ladies, I've made my decision.

LaLa Ri, shantay, you stay.

Aroo? I'm, like, do I say
thank you or what?

OK, girl.

Well, shantay, I stay,
thank you, girl.

Denali, I'm sorry, my dear,

but you're getting
the porkchop.

[pig squeals]

Now sashay away.

Feeling icy, feeling spicy.

[exhales]

I'm unbelievably devastated.

I'm just kind of,
like, oh, my God,

I'm going home without
showing anything on[span style="italic"] Drag Race.[/i]

What-- What the f*ck
is up on here?

-I'm Denali.
-I'm Joey.

-Nice to meet you.
-A pleasure.

[Denali] I don't understand.

Was I not the only one eliminated?

Oh, no, look it.

They're all the first girl outs.

I see on the wall
the porkchop loading dock,

and all of these pictures

of first-eliminated queens
from [span style="italic"]Drag Race.[/i]

Oh, no.

Porkchop herself, Shangela,

Miss Vanjie and Dahlia Sin.

There's some sort of trickery.
What's going on?

I feel like something's
gonna jump out of a box.

We're trying to figure out

what the f*ck
has just happened to us.

Are we being sent home?

Am I about to de-drag
at the airport?

Can I call my mom?

Don't let the smooth taste
fool you, baby. [laughs]

My name is Symone,
I am 25 years old,

and I am
the ebony enchantress.

Queen number one, all right.

Let's do it.

My drag is very real woman,
very female "[span style="italic"]illusion."[/i]

This is gonna be my spot,
front and center, honey.

I love strong women
who've been through things,

and if you're Black, even better.

I'm here, bitch! [laughs]

Symone is the confidence,
the essence.

She is a goddess, she's everything.

Holla at me. I know you know me.

Holla at me. I know you know me.

Tamisha is here.

I am Tamisha Iman,

one of the baddest in the
art form of female impersonation.

I am sassy, I am lovable,

but at the same time, I can
be that B-I-T-C-H if need be.

-Hi.
-Hi, how are you?

-Nice to meet you. I'm Tamisha.
-Lovely to meet you. I'm Symone.

-Nice to meet you.
-I love the power shoulder.

Thank you, I'm into fashion.

There we go. Pageant gal?

-Of course.
-Of course.

-Yeah.
-Of course.

And the matriarch
of the Iman family.

Werk!

[Tamisha]
I'm the mother of the dynasty.

-Come on, dynasty.
-Yeah, it's a dynasty.

Miss Tamisha is very…

Now, no shade, no shade.

…like a mother figure.

But also, like, you know

that she is here to play and to slay.

[alarm, thunder]

[RuPaul][span style="italic"] Ooh, girl.[/i]

She done already
done had herses.

What the hell?

Maybe they hit
the button too soon.

Just two of us?

We ain't even done nothin' yet.
We just walked in.

Well, hello, my queens.

I wanna see both of you
on the main stage.

Hit it!

What the hell?

Come to the floor?

You supposed to come in the room,
not the floor.

Whoo!

Welcome, queens.
Surprised to see me?

Now it's time to make a positive
first impression on the judges…

starting with Symone.

So I see you've got little mini
Polaroids as your dress.

Oh, yes.

Um, are they pictures of you?

Each one of them are pictures of me,
a couple faces, a couple of shoes,

a couple of asses pictures, too.

[all laugh]

-Does that tell me that you love yourself?
-Um… Yes, I do love myself.

-Good.
-I love my drag persona.

-Great.
-It saved my life.

Where did you grow up?

I grew up in Conway, Arkansas.

I dated a guy
from Pine Bluff, Arkansas.

Oh!

Is he your grandfather?

-[all laugh]
-[Symone] I think so.

I knew he said something
about a cross-dresser.

[all laugh]

So we might be related.

[all laugh]

[RuPaul] All right, Tamisha Iman.

I see that you have found
what I have lost.

Oh!

-Yep.
-I did get 'em.

Yeah, you sure did.
You got 'em, girl.

How long have you
been doing drag?

-Thirty years.
-[Ross] Ooh. What?

-Yeah, 30 years.
-Wow.

Do you think
your vast experience

is going to be helpful

or be a hindrance
in the competition?

Well, I'm not as…

great as I used to be,

but I'm still as good as I should be.

I'm recently getting over cancer.

Because you were cast
on Season 12.

Yes. On that Friday,

I got the call to say,
"Hey, you made it!"

On that Sunday, I got
the call from my doctor

stating that I had
stage three colon cancer,

and they had to start
immediately radiation and chemo.

So it devastated me.

You know, I got so bad
to where I couldn't walk.

The cancer and the radiation
took such a control over me.

And knowing that
I could possibly fight

to get back here just
one more time, I fought it.

So within a year, I'm--

I'm a conqueror,

and I'm so thankful
that you gave me this chance.

So I'm blessed.
Whatever happens, I'm blessed.

-All right.
-God is good.

[RuPaul] Thank you, Tamisha.

Ladies, I have
just one more thing to say.

Oh.

Two queens stand before me.

[stammering] Is a-- huh?

Ladies, this
is your first chance

to impress me and
save yourself from getting…

the porkchop.

-The time has come…
-[thunder]

…for you to lip sync…

for your life.

I ain't been here five minutes
and y'all doing all this.

This is crazy.

Good luck,
and don't f*ck it up.

[music plays]

♪ Whoo! ♪

♪ You might think I'm crazy
But I'm serious ♪

♪ It's better you know now ♪

♪ What I thought was happiness
Was only part-time bliss ♪

♪ You can take a bow ♪

♪ It was all just one big night 
Out on the town ♪

♪ Riding in your limousine ♪

♪ We turned right
And I say wrong ♪

♪ Which brings us to a stop ♪

♪ As the light is changing ♪

♪ Oh, my meter's running
So I got to go now ♪

♪ It's the pleasure principle ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

[laughs]

♪ It's the principle of pleasure ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ It's the pleasure principle ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

[RuPaul laughs]

♪ I know… ♪

[Symone][span style="italic"] Tamisha is giving you[/i]
[span style="italic"]Janet Jackson at the concert, darling.[/i]

The arms, movements,
da, da, da, da, da.

I was, like, oh, no, ma'am.

♪ You know… ♪

[Symone] This is my stage,

I can't let her have it.

This is not her Janet Jackson
moment, it's mine!

♪ It's the pleasure principle
Principle ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ You might say
That I'm no good for you ♪

♪ I wouldn't trust your looks,
Baby, if I could ♪

♪ Love me ♪

♪ Love me, yeah ♪

♪ Pleasure principle ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

[laughter and applause]

Ladies, I've made my decision.

[Tamisha] The thing about
watching the show,

you think you know
until you get here,

and now you don't know nothing.

Let me take a deep breath,

because I don't know
what's about to happen.

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Symone, shantay, you stay.

Aah!

[laughs]

Sorry. [laughs]

In the seven minutes
that we are here,

I have literally walked
in the werkroom,

went to the main stage,
and won a lip-sync.

Uh…
What is going on, America?

Whew.

Tamisha Iman,
I'm sorry, my dear,

but that means you're
getting the porkchop.

[pig squeals]

Now sashay away.

Thank you. I'm always
gonna be a Ru girl.

Thank you. Mwah!

[applause]

Wow.

I'm totally destroyed, because
this is my second chance,

and it's over that fast.

just that fast,
in the blink of a eye.

-Hey, cutie.
-Well, well, well.

I'm Denali.
Nice to meet you.

Joey Jay.

-Nice to meet you. I'm Tamisha.
-Pleasure.

I'm still in shock and awe.

They're excited.

"Hey, girl, how are you?"

I'm like, "Why are we here?"

We're here in a room
full of first eliminees.

Oh, are we? [laughs]

[Joey] Our picture is gonna
go there for next season.

Mmm… No…

I don't feel like
it's the end, exactly.

[Tamisha]
It felt like the end to me.

I got eliminated on that stage,
and it hurt like--

Yeah, but you know it's not
[span style="italic"]RuPaul's Drag Race [/i]without a twist.

[Tamisha][span style="italic"] [/i]Bitch, I don't know
what you feeling,

but at the end of the day,
the lady said go home.

The bags are packed,
we all in this room.

They just letting us come together
so it'll be one van

to take us all to the airport.

You're very hopeful,
and I get it, but, you know--

I'm holding on because I am not
accepting elimination just yet.

This ain't no twist.
The twist is we twisting to the door.

The lady said go home.

Time to crash the system.

I'm Gottmik,
and I'm ready to k*ll it.

My drag is inspired by fashion

and designers
like McQueen, Galliano.

Picasso's paintings
inspire me a lot.

I love putting shapes
on my face

where they shouldn't be.

She's just a campy, spooky,

clown artistry thing, I guess.

Not the first person here.

I cannot.

I'm so excited to be here
on[span style="italic"] RuPaul's Drag Race.[/i]

Thank you. Hold the applause.
[laughs]

I think I'll bring a different
angle to this competition.

I am a transgender man,

so born a girl,
transitioned to a guy,

dress like a girl for money.

Very that. [laughs]

But, I'm so psy--

No one saw that.

I am an extravagant
celebrity makeup artist.

I'm gonna have, like,
a Buffalo Bill moment here.

I've painted Cindy Crawford,
Heidi Klum, Paris Hilton.

And so the biggest
misconception about me

is that I'm just a makeup artist.

I'm so much more, and I cannot
wait to show these b*tches.

Ah-choo!

She's sickening.

I am Utica Queen,
and I am from Utica, Minnesota.

See what I did there?

I'm the queen
of the unexpected.

I am the wacky, inflatable,
waving-arms tube queen.

I'm always dishing a hot dish
of ridiculousness to an audience.

And I'm so excited
to spread smiles

to all the wonderful people
in the world.

Hi!

Hi, I'm Gottmik.
Nice to meet you.

-A pleasure. Utica. Nice to meet you.
-Oh, my god.

-You look gorg!
-Your paint.

Good morning, hello.

Hi, how are you? [laughs]

This is crazy!

So what type of drag is she?

What does she do?

So I'm really kooky.

Uh-huh.

It's like if your best friend's 
a supermodel,

and she walks into the room,

but she trips and falls on her face

and eats her own booger.

-Uh, that's me.
-[both laugh]

[alarm, thunder]

-Oh, no.
-[RuPaul][span style="italic"] Ooh, girl.[/i]

She done already
done had herses.

The alarms are going off,
the lighting is changing.

I love this lighting, though.

It's matching my outfit,
so I'm living for that.

Welcome, queens.

Meet me on the main stage,

because I wanna see you sweat.

I'm already sweating.

Aah! What's happening?

Welcome to the main stage.

-[Gottmik] Whoo!
-Thank you!

Thank you for having us.

Now, listen, we just wanna
get to know you a little better.

So starting with Gottmik,
we're gonna talk to the judges.

Hey, Gottmik.

Hey, gorg. How are you?

How would you describe
your drag?

I like everything to be
kind of Pierrot inspired,

clown, black and white,

but with, like, a vibrant,
campy touch to it.

We can obviously see that
you are great with makeup,

and you've got
a great fashion sense.

Thank you.

Would you describe yourself
as a lip-sync assassin?

I'm not… a lip-sync assassin,

but I can lip sync
the house down for sure.

[Carson] OK.

Thank you, Gottmik.

Thank you.

-Up next, Utica.
-Hi.

I wanna know how this outfit
describes who Utica is,

and why is there
a strawberry on your head?

So the strawberry…

Uh, I used to be allergic
to strawberries growing up,

and it's kind of a testament
to me getting through it.

[laughs] So…
That's so crazy.

-It's so dumb. Whoo-oo.
-I love it. OK, go on.

And, I would say my style

is if you took this pattern
and that pattern

and this pattern, 
and put it in a jar,

and then shook it all up
and then there you go,

but with a touch of polish.

Just a touch.

[RuPaul]
Are you nervous?

I feel it in my nuggets.

-You feel what?
-I feel it in my nuggets.

Oh, OK.
We all love nuggets.

[laughs]

Ladies, I have a question.

How well do you perform
under pressure?

Actually, you know what?
Don't answer that.

I think we're
about to find out.

Two queens stand before me.

What? Uh… Right off the bat?

Ladies, this is your
first chance to impress me

and save yourself
from getting the porkchop.

[pig squeals]

-The time has come…
-[thunder]

…for you to lip sync…

for…

your…

[echoing]
…life. Hah!

[Gottmik]
I'm cracking my knuckles right now.

But, like, getting ready,
like, focused.

No one is sending me home
on the first episode.

Good luck,
and don't f*ck it up.

[music plays]

♪ Saturday
Steppin' into the club ♪

♪ There'll be someone
Wanna tell DJ turn it up ♪

♪ I feel the energy
All around ♪

♪ And my body can't stop
Moving to the sound ♪

♪ But I can tell
That you're watching me ♪

♪ And you're probably gonna
Write what you didn't see ♪

♪ Well, I just need
A little space to breathe ♪

♪ Can you please
Respect my privacy? ♪

♪ I'm tired
Of rumors starting ♪

♪ I'm sick of being followed ♪

♪ I'm tired of people lying ♪

♪ Sayin' what they want
About me ♪

♪ Why can't they
Back up off me? ♪

♪ Why can't they let me live? ♪

♪ I'm gonna do it my way ♪

♪ Take this
For just what it is ♪

♪ Here we are back up in the club
People taking pictures ♪

♪ Don't you think
They get enough? ♪

♪ I just wanna be
All over the floor ♪

♪ And throw my hands
Up in the air ♪

♪ To the beat like ♪
-♪ What? ♪

♪ I've gotta say
Respectfully ♪

♪ I would like it if you
Take the cameras off of me ♪

♪ 'Cause I just want
A little room to breathe ♪

♪ Can you please
Respect my privacy? ♪

♪ I'm tired of rumors, rumors ♪

♪ Followed, followed
Followed ♪

♪ Followed, followed
Followed, followed ♪

♪ But they follow me ♪

♪ Why can't they--
They--they--they--they ♪

♪ Let me live? ♪

♪ Take this
For just what it is ♪

♪ I'm tired
Of rumors starting ♪

♪ I'm sick of being followed ♪

♪ I'm tired of people lying ♪

♪ Sayin' what they want
About me ♪

♪ Why can't they
Back up off me? ♪

♪ Why can't they let me live? ♪

♪ I'm gonna do it my way ♪

♪ Take this
For just what it is ♪

[Michelle] Whoo!

[laughter and applause]

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Oh, what's gonna happen next?

This is crazy!

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Gottmik, shantay, you stay.

Oh, my God, thank you.

I f*cking just won a lip-sync
on[span style="italic"] RuPaul's Drag Race.[/i]

Hello!

Utica, I'm sorry, my dear,

but that means
you're getting the porkchop.

[pig squeals]

Now sashay away.

Thank you very much
for this opportunity.

Oh! No!

It can't end this soon.

I'll get you for this, RuPaul!

[laughing]

Hey!

Oh, my God,
I am the first one here.

I, uh, could have gone
to the dentist.

My name is Rosé, and I reside
at the busy intersection

of Wit Avenue
and Fashion Boulevard.

Rosé is a comedy queen,

kind of like if Robin Williams
and Jim Carrey had a child.

What a horrible daughter for
the two of them to procreate.

[laughs]

Got a little stage
going on here.

I'm not gonna step on that.
It might collapse.

I had breakfast today.

I'm a singer and a dancer.

I was on [span style="italic"]The Voice[/i]
and [span style="italic"]America's Got Talent.[/i]

I'm very competitive.
I don't like to lose.

But I usually win. [laughs]

I should, uh, probably
wipe off this tooth,

since no one's gonna see it.

I'm basically doing shtick
for an empty house,

which is not something Rosé's
used to, I'm proud to say.

Lux be a lady tonight.

I'm Olivia Lux, and I like
to light up a room

whenever I walk into a space.

I consider Olivia Lux
as that diva,

but that, like,
really nice diva,

like Diana Ross
and the Supremes.

-Oh, my God!
-[both laugh]

-You look so good.
-Mwah, mwah.

You look amazing.

It's so good to see you.

You, too. I think the last time
I saw you in drag

was literally Lady Liberty.

Yeah, where I was a contestant
and you were hosting it.

I look up to Rosé so much.

She's, like,
New York City drag royalty.

And now we're in America's
biggest drag pageant together.

Like, whaaa.

At that time,
I had been doing drag

for, like, what, six months?

Wait, how long
have you been doing drag?

Like, a year and a half.

A year and a half?
OK, girl.

I'm a little surprised to see
Olivia here, to be honest,

because I would expect Olivia

to take just a little bit longer
to be really ripe enough.

But her smile is stunning,

and I can't wait to knock
her teeth out one by one.

[laughs]

[alarm, thunder]

[RuPaul][span style="italic"] Ooh, girl.[/i]

She done already
done had herses.

Welcome, ladies. What?

Were you expecting more?

Good, because so am I.

Meet me on the main stage.

Ha!

Pronto!

[Rosé] OK, the main stage.

-Let's go!
-Let's go!

Chil', it is about to start, honey.

Welcome, ladies.

Breathe deep and take in

the charisma, uniqueness,
nerve, and talent

of the queens
that came before you.

The smell of hairspray
and desperation.

[both chuckle]

Now, the judges wanna get to
know you a little bit better,

starting with Rosé.

What does this outfit
tell us about you, Rosé?

RuPaul always says that
if you wanna make money,

you should wear a suit.

And I never understood that,
so I wore this instead.

[all laugh]

I think I recognize you
from New York.

Are you part
of the girl group with Jan?

Yes, I am.
Stephanie's Child.

Are you planning on lasting
a little longer than Jan?

I am absolutely planning
on lasting longer than Jan.

-Ooh.
-OK.

Up next, Olivia Lux.

Hi.

I would love to know what this
outfit says about Olivia Lux.

Well, I do love
a good Showgirl moment,

and I thought
I'd go with something

that reminded me
of a theater curtain.

And a large purse for all
those things you have in it.

[Olivia] Exactly.

I like to carry
my extra eyelashes in this.

[all laugh]

If I were to go see
an Olivia Lux show,

how would it be different
than any other drag queen show?

I really like to incorporate
[span style="italic"]live [/i]drag elements,

so you may see me sit down at
the piano for a bit, you know.

Well, I love a big organ.

[all laugh]

Ladies, we're doing things
a little differently this season.

It's all come down to this.

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your
first chance to impress me

and save yourself…

from getting the porkchop.

[pig squeals]

-The time has come…
-[thunder]

…for you to lip sync…

for your life.

For our [span style="italic"]life?[/i]

On day one?

And against Rosé?

Good luck,
and don't f*ck it up.

[music plays]

♪ Well, I had me a boy
Turned him into a man ♪

♪ I showed him all the things
That he didn't understand ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ And then I let him go ♪

♪ Now there's one in California
Who's been cursing my name ♪

♪ 'Cause I found me
A better lover in the UK ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Until I made my getaway ♪

♪ One, two, three
They gonna run back to me ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm the best baby
That they never gotta keep ♪

♪ One, two, three
They gonna run back to me ♪

♪ They always wanna come
But they never wanna leave ♪

♪ Ex's and the oh, oh, oh's
They haunt me ♪

♪ Like gho-oh-osts
They want me ♪

♪ To make 'em, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ They won't let go ♪

♪ My ex's and the oh, oh, oh's
They haunt me ♪

♪ Like gho-oh-osts
They want me ♪

♪ To make 'em, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ They won't let go… ♪

[Olivia][span style="italic"] It sounds so cliché[/i]
[span style="italic"]and band camp[/i]

to say that I am one
with the music,

but, honey,
I am one with the music.

[guitar solo]

I'm an incredible lip-syncer.

I'm gonna show the judges

that I've got a few tricks
up my sleeve

and I'm the bitch to watch.

♪ But they never wanna leave
My ex's ♪

♪ And the oh, oh, oh's
They haunt me ♪

♪ Like gho-oh-osts
They want me ♪

♪ To make 'em, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ They won't let go ♪

♪ Ex's and the oh, oh, oh's
They haunt me ♪

♪ Like gho-oh-osts
They want me ♪

♪ To make 'em, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ They won't let go ♪

♪ Ex's and oh's ♪

[laughter and applause]

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Olivia Lux, shantay, you stay.

Aah! [laughs]
I can't believe it!

Thank you.

I'm shocked!

Rosé, I'm sorry, my dear,

but that means you're
getting the porkchop.

[pig squeals]

What? Wait, what?

Now sashay away.

Thank you.

[Olivia]
I'm so confused.

[Rosé]
Me, too!

I just got here.
I haven't done anything.

I haven't even
opened my suitcase.

Am I supposed to, like,
leave with a zinger?

I'm not sure what's going on,
but bye, I think.

[siren blaring]

Didn't your parents ever teach
you not to play with fire?

Now let's turn it
and burn it, b*tches!

I'm Tina Burner,

and I'm New York's premiere
costume comedy queen.

I have been a staple in the
drag community for 10 years.

I am just large and in charge.

I'm[span style="italic"] The Muppets[/i]
[span style="italic"]Take Manhattan, [/i]OK?

[chuckles]

I have a reputation of being
loud and outspoken.

I got a lot to say,
and I will not be silent.

The fireworks show is on-- 
Ooh-!

Oh, clean brushes.
Thank God.

I am literally gonna
light this place up.

Ah, fire. Oh, my god,
did I just do, like,[span style="italic"] Showgirls [/i]?

I did!

[laughs] Whoo!

The Mackie doll
is finally out of her box.

I'm Kahmora Hall,

and I'm Chicago's
premiere Mackie Barbie doll.

Kahmora Hall is always living
that rich, white woman fantasy.

She is just dripping in luxury.

You can smell
the privilege off of her.

My drag is all about
the glitz and glam.

Shine and sparkle
never go out of style.

-Hey!
-Hi!

Oh, my God, Miss Big Red,
how are you?

Mwah, mwah!

-Kahmora Hall.
-Kahmora Hall?

Kah-mora, OK?

Not Kim-mora, Kah-mora.

-Get it right.
-Got it.

That's right.

-Tina Burner.
-Oh, I know you, girl.

I know who Tina Burner is.

She is a local legend,

and even though she's
the only one there right now,

I just know that
she's one to watch out for.

So who are you wearing?

I'm giving you
a firefighter, honey.

I'm giving you the
Tina Burner experience

from head to toe.

I see.

You look like
a sexy hot dog right now.

Kahmora is shady, bitch.

I'm, like, yes,
you can be on Team Burner.

Oh!

♪ I'm the queen
You want to see ♪

♪ Elliott with 2 Ts, OK? ♪

♪ Uh, uh, uh
Uh-uh-uh-uh ♪

OK? Get into it.

[Tina]
White girls can't dance, huh?

[both laugh]

My name is Elliott with 2 Ts,

and I'm the most famous
drag queen

you ain't never heard of.
[laughs]

My drag is very much
a housewife with a secret.

I've been doing drag
since I was 15 years old,

dancing, acting, singing.

I didn't practice my autograph
since I was a baby for nothing.

[Kahmora] She looks fun.

-[laughs]
-Sis…

She got a windbreaker on
and some pants,

and I'm just, like, sis,

did you just go power walking
with my mom?

-Hi! Oh, my God!
-Hello, hello.

-Hi. I'm Kahmora.
-I'm Elliott with 2 Ts.

-Hi, Elliott with 2 Ts.
-Hello.

All I can think about is E.T.

Elliott…

And I was, like, ooh, girl.

She needs to phone home

and get a new outfit for
the werkroom entrance, girl.

I've seen you before.

You were at a drag brunch
in Las Vegas.

I sure was.

That's where I'm from.

Is this look very Vegas
or something?

I'm just curious
what your inspiration was.

-Here we go with the shade.
-That is not shade!

-I'm really curious!
- Here you go. Watch out for her.

[alarm, thunder]

[RuPaul][span style="italic"] Ooh, girl. She done[/i]
[span style="italic"]already done had herses.[/i]

Is this really happening
right now?

My queens, main stage, now.

[laughs]

[Tina] Get to the main stage.
Is that what they said?

I don't understand.
What's going on?

Trying to raise my eyebrows,
but they don't raise right now.

[producer] All that bo?

All that pumping.

Wait, let me get my purse!

Are they moving? [laughs]

Welcome, ladies.
Surprised to see me?

Say hello to the judges.

-Hello, judges.
-Hi! Oh, my God, you're all real.

They're dying to get to know

a little bit more
about each of you.

Starting with Tina Burner.

A bit of a New York legend
here with you.

I'm glad to see you here.

That just means I'm old.

Well, join the club,
sweetheart.

You've got your whole
fire department thing going on.

Does this speak to us
and tell us who you are?

I'm, like, a campy,
comedy, sassy queen.

So, Tina Burner,
turn it and burn it,

burning down the house.

And so, we're here
to put that fire out

with my large hose.

Yeah. [laughs]

Sss.

Is it true that
you were in a boy band

when you were 19 years old?

Yes, I was in a boy band.

After three years,
I said, "Bye, Bye, Bye."

[all laugh]

You guys are no longer N'Sync?

No. No. We're more like the
Back Door Boys now, you know?

Well, that's
a fascinating back story.

I mean, we got a lotta back
going on today.

Back to you, Ru.

[all laugh]

-Up next, Elliott.
-Hi.

You look like
a member of Exposé.

OK.

Yes, I love that outfit.

[Elliot] Thank you.

What does it say about you?

I love an Eighties throwback,
I love a good structured moment.

I grew up as a dancer,

so the big dancing
female divas of the Eighties

really speak to me.

What kind of dancing
did you grow up doing?

Well, not to
Brooke Lynn Hytes myself,

but I was a ballet dancer
my whole life,

and I worked on cruise ships
for a while as a dancer.

And what was your favorite
port of call?

My favorite was Cozumel.

You like to party, don't you?

A little bit.
Just a little bit.

[all laugh]

Last but not least,
Kahmora Hall.

I just watched
[span style="italic"]Beyond the Valley of the Dolls [/i]last night

again for the eightieth time,

and your hair is serving
[span style="italic"]Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.[/i]

That was the inspiration.

You look stunning.

Thank you so much.

I really love this look
that you have on.

Um, who's the designer?

It's an original Bob Mackie.

I bought it from an auction house,

and I just had to have it.

What?

They reconstructed to fit my body,
because I'm sample size.

-That is insane.
-Wow.

[Carson] I love it.

Kahmora Hall, any relation to our queen
Jaida Essence Hall?

Jaida Essence Hall
is my big sister.

The House of Hall.

we're known for great shoulders
and great clavicles.

Yes. [laughs]
That's always good to know.

Well, those are some
very big shoes to fill.

She got some big feet,
so, yeah.

Exactly. [laughs]

Thank you, Kahmora.

Thank you.

Ladies, show of hands.

Who likes surprises?

-Me!
-Love 'em!

[RuPaul] Oh, goodie.

Three queens stand before me.

What?

Ladies, this is your
first chance to impress me

and save yourself
from getting the porkchop.

[pig squeals]

-The time has come…
-[thunder]

…for you to lip sync…

for your life.

Nobody puts Burner
in the corner, OK?

Because I'll tell you what.

I didn't come all this way
to watch these b*tches beat me.

Good luck,
and don't f*ck it up.

♪ Hey, sista, go, sista
Soul sista, flow, sista ♪

♪ Hey, sista, go, sista
Soul sista, flow, sista ♪

♪ He met Marmalade
Down in old Moulin Rouge ♪

♪ Struttin' her stuff
On the street ♪

♪ She said, "Hello, hey, Joe
You wanna give it a go," oh ♪

♪ Gitchie, gitchie
Ya-ya, da-da ♪

♪ Da, da, da ♪

♪ Gitchie, gitchie
Ya-ya here ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Mocha chocolata, ya-ya… ♪

Thank God Bob Mackie
works for all occasions.

I'm feeling confident
and beautiful.

I'm k*lling it.

♪ We come through with the money
And the garter belts ♪

♪ Let him know we 'bout that cake
Straight out the gate ♪

♪ We independent women
Some mistake us for whores ♪

♪ I'm sayin' why spend mine
When I can spend yours? ♪

♪ Disagree? 
Well, that's you and I'm sorry ♪

♪ Imma keep playing
These cats out like Atari ♪

♪ Wear high-heel shoes
Get love from the dudes ♪

♪ Four badass chicks
From the Moulin Rouge ♪

♪ What? Creole lady Marmalade ♪

[all laugh]

♪ One more time, come on ♪

♪ Marmalade ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, oh ♪

♪ Touch of her skin
Feeling silky smooth ♪

♪ Hey!
Color of café au lait… ♪

[Tina][span style="italic"] I'm a Clydesdale[/i]
[span style="italic"]in this battle right now.[/i]

I'm not no little
[span style="span"]My Little Pony.[/i]

It is time to bury these girls.

-♪ More ♪
-♪ More ♪

-♪ More ♪
-♪ More ♪

♪ Gitchie, gitchie,
Ya-ya, da-da ♪

♪ Gitchie, gitchie
Ya-ya here ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, yeah ♪

♪ Mocha chocolate, ya-ya ♪

♪ Creole lady Marmalade ♪

♪ Ooh, yes ♪

[laughter and applause]

[Ross] Great.

Ladies, I've made my decision.

This is not what day one
is supposed to be.

I'm just trying
not to throw up.

Ladies, I've made my decision.

I would give up masturbating
for a year

just to hear, "Tina Burner,
shantay, you stay."

Tina Burner, shantay, you stay.

Thank you so much.

Damn, I just won!

And the choices I made
I will deal with.

That means Kahmora Hall
and Elliott,

I'm sorry, my dears,

but you are both
getting the porkchop.

[pig squeals]

Porkchop?

I don't like pork chops.

-[Elliot] Hey, ladies.
-Hi!

-Hello!
-Hi!

OK, what is going on?

Hi, hi, hi.

[Kahmora][span style="italic"] I see[/i]
[span style="italic"]all these other girls.[/i]

I see Denali,
my Chicago sister.

I'm normally the queen
that knows all the twists

and the gags and the goops.

But this is throwing me for a loop.

So you all
just both lip synced?

-We just lip synced.
-Yeah.

Oh, my God.

-[queen] Porkchop.
-[Elliot] Yeah.

[Kahmoa] Welcome to all
the people who went home first.

They can't send us home.

They can kind of do
whatever they want.

-No!
-Yeah.

I object.

We're trying to figure out
what's going on.

This is what we've been
talking about this whole time.

Is this the real tea?

Here we all are
in the porkchop lounge,

who famously went home first.

So is that what's gonna happen
to all of us?

I'm not OK with that.

I wonder what the winners
are doing right now?

[all laugh]

We won our first challenge,
essentially.

I know!

Clearly Team Talent.

[all laugh]

Oh, shit.

-Oh!
-[Olivia] Aah!

Oh! Yes!

-Diva!
-Winner's circle!

Chil', everyone
in New York City

knows Tina auditions every year,

and God bless her heart.

She is ancient.

I love her to death,

but she needed to get on
before she died.

-[Olivia] Hi, mama!
-Hi!

-New York is in the house!
-[Olivia] Let me see you.

Oh, goodness.

OK, we've got a New York girl

that is a comedy queen
and a campy queen.

You always gotta watch out
for those girls, honey,

because they may not
be gorg in the face,

but that don't mean shit.

Competition register, locked.

So I'm guessing you won
your lip sync as well?

I did. Did you?

Mm, well, we're sitting
right here, bitch.

We're all the winner's circle,
all right.

-All right!
-[Symone] Winner's circle!

I lip synced
against a New York sister.

[Tina] Err.

Rosé.

Rosé's here?

Oh, here we go.

Olivia beat Rosé in a lip sync?

Miss Olivia Lux, who's been
doing drag for 10 seconds?

So I'm thinking
Rosé's beside herself.

Because, like, Rosé is, like,
a little more of a seasoned queen.

She got, you know,
[span style="italic"]America's Got Talent.[/i]

She's-- "I was on[span style="italic"] The Voice.[/i]"
You know, "I can sing."

Well, I guess
you couldn't lip sync. [chuckles]

Wait, so are
the other girls gone?

Are they still here?

[Gottmik] They have to be.

-It's not us.
-[Kandy] I have no idea.

But what I do know is that we here!

Aah! [laughs]

We're stunning, we're winners,

and, baby,
may the best woman win.

Come on, Season 13!

Yes!

Did you guys lip sync
against each other?

It was us
and then one other queen.

-Who were you against?
-Tina Burner.

Oh, shit!

She's here! [laughs]

Tina's from New York.

-Are you from New York, too?
-[Rosé] I'm from New York.

And Tina won
against you beauties.

That f*cking bitch.

[all laugh]

Me and Tina work
in the same circles.

I like Tina.

I don't think Tina likes me.

What in the heck do you think
is about to happen next?

-We're gonna de-drag at the airport--
-Our picture's gonna be on the wall

with the rest of the girls.

[bells play]

[RuPaul][span style="italic"] Attention, queens[/i]
[span style="italic"]in the porkchop loading dock.[/i]

That's us.

The departure van
will be arriving soon.

On behalf of the judges,

we want to wish you
safe travels,

wherever your final
destination may be.

OK, so everything I just said,
forget it.

We're going home instead.

[Tamisha] Mm, girl, I told you.

The lady said…
go home.

The lady said go home.

For me, this is really,
really emotional,

because this means
the world to me.

Like, this is my dream.

And, like, not getting
to show the world anything

of what kind
of drag queen you are,

it's just the period
on a really shitty sentence.

-Uh, Ru?
-Yes?

You do realize

you just eliminated
half of the cast, right?

Oh.

Oh, OK, hold up.

[clears throat]

Attention, queens
in the porkchop loading dock.

All is not lost.

You all have a chance
to return to the competition.

But first, you must give one
of your fellow queens the chop.

What kind of[span style="italic"] All Stars[/i]
bullshit is this?

[Utica] This is just bonkers.

We don't know each other!

I repeat, you all have a chance
to return to the competition,

but first, you must give one
of your fellow queens the chop.

And remember, no matter
what happens next,

please enjoy a complimentary
copy of my album,

You're a Winner, Baby.

Let the voting begin.

Wait, for real-real?

I don't know. Um…

But I'm the only Black girl,
so don't vote me off.

[laughter]

Oh, my God.

Girl, we're gagged.

We just met, and now
we have to send one of us home.

I thought
I was already eliminated.

Well, guess what, filler queen?

You might be eliminated again.

[RuPaul][span style="italic"] Next time[/i]
[span style="italic"]on [/i]RuPaul's Drag Race…

You need to perform
a show-stopping version

of my song "Condragulations."

♪ Condragulations
You're number one ♪

You're somebody that
I could not take my eye off of.

Racers, more twists and turns

are just around the corner.

What the f*ck?

[bells play]

[Elliot] I don't wanna vote anyone off.
I don't know any of you yet.

We've literally just met.

We have to vote someone off.

This is a competition.

This is what we signed up for.

Shit's about to go down.

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Losers, weepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Finders, keepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Losers, weepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪