03x14 - RuPaul Rewind

[bunniefuu]

- Oh, but, baby, you know how

I feel.

I mean, you really want me to

say it?

[laughing] This is silly.

Okay, here goes.

[imitating Cher]

Wagon wheel watusi!

[laughs]

You so crazy.

- Hey, Ru.

- Hey, Chaz.

I got that song, Superstar.

You know, the one you wanted to

rehearse for the show tonight.

- Oh, Chaz, I been so busy

selling the air rights to

RuPaul's Drag Race, I

completely forgot it.

- Cool.

I-I can come in tomorrow.

- Well, no, no.

Let's just get it over with.

Okay, you want a spot?

- [imitating Cher]

Snap out of it!

What do you think, Chaz?

Tonight, it's the superstar

edition of RuPaul's Drag Race.

- Oh oh!

- Get ready to gag, as we flash

back on this season's most

unforgettable moments.

Watch as this year's

queens bare

more than just their latex

boobies in never-before-seen,

up-close, and personal moments.

Join our extra-special guests,

Jujubee, Raven, and queen Tyra

as we count down the top ten

most sickening fits and

fashions.

Plus, outrageous outtakes

of our celebrity judges.

- It's gonna be a bitch fight!

- [giggles]

- With just one week until we

crown our new queen.

We salute our final three.

Alexis Mateo, Raja,

and Manila Luzon.

Welcome to the superstar edition

of RuPaul's Drag Race, chock

full of never-before-seen

footage for added freshness.

This season, none of our

showgirls threw marbles on the

runway, but they did have a few

catty things to say about each

other.

Let's take a look.

- What did you think about

Shangela's Tina?

- Shangela's Tina was okay.

You know.

- Are you serious?

She looked like Tina Turner

after Ike b*at her down.

- Was that my name?

- Yeah, we're talking about

Tina Turner, girl.

- This hair is not soundproof.

- When people are talking about

you, that means you're doing

something right.

What's more American than

Marilyn Monroe?

- Oh, my gosh, you don't look

anything like Marilyn Monroe.

You probably look like Marilyn

Manson.

[laughter]

- But not Marilyn Monroe.

- If, but...I'm not in drag, I'm

so quiet.

- You say you're quiet?

You're not quiet, bitch.

- You're not quiet.

- Who would you say is the

funniest person here?

- Like, who cracks me up the

most?

- Mm-hmm.

- I do.

I cr*ck myself up all the time.

- No one ever gets your jokes

except for you.

- First of all, she look like a

fat ass, cheap Barbie doll from

the dollar store.

- [laughing] Damn.

- If you have nothing nice to

say, don't say anything at all.

But if you nothing nice to say,

come sit next to me.

- I like your shoes.

They're cute.

- [deep voice]

Thanks, Heather.

You guys have the most

a-softest voices for men.

- Well, that's because you sound

like James Earl Jones, honey.

- Oh, f*ck off,

sprepper bitch.

- What do you think of Alexis'?

- Wow.

That's just gonna make her look

really thick in the middle.

- That is so ugly.

- I don't want to look like I've

been eating the cake.

- Raja, girl, listen, I'm gonna

give you a little bit of advice.

Don't ever walk into an antique

store.

They just might keep you, girl.

[laughter]

- I mean, even her skin is

rejecting the makeup.

It's like, some people are just

not meant to do it,

and if your skin is rejecting

the makeup...

- Your body is telling you

something.

- Your face looks so much

better; so much better.

- Uck, I know, 'cause before I

was painted like Carmen Carrera.

- No, before, bitch, you was

painted like a m*therf*cking

ghost, honey.

- Okay, the library's closed!

- Me-ow!

Speaking of mean girls, the

self-proclaimed popular queens,

led by Raja and Manila, formed

a secret clique called

the Heathers.

- She was fetch.

- Heather!

Stop trying to make "fetch"

work; it's not happening.

- They pitted themselves

against the rest of the girls,

who they lovingly referred to as

the boogers.

["valley girl" voice] Oh, my

god, don't you, like, totally

miss high school?

- Heather.

- Heather wants to talk to us.

- Come hither, Heather.

- Heather, what are you making?

- Carmen, Manila, Delta, and

myself have decided to call each

other Heather because we formed

this clique which looks a lot

like the movie Heathers.

- There's just Heathers and

boogers.

- Does anyone know why the

other girls are calling each

other Heather?

- I don't know.

- It's just Ret*rded.

These dumb b*tches.

- I love calling you Heather.

It's so much fun.

- How's your outfit going,

Heather?

- It's going gorgeous.

- So, Yara, are you still

friends with Shangela?

- Yes.

- We can make you a Heather,

but you can't talk to the other

boogaronis.

- No, I don't want to.

- I'm just kidding.

- Everybody's just playing a

game.

But I think they're going

overboard.

No, I would have never worked

with the Heathers.

- If anyone looks at us as being

a clique, it's just

because they're insecure.

- I don't know what they put in

the breakfast.

- Boogers.

- Relax.

- I'm so over them.

- We got this.

We're the Heathers.

- Thank you.

- Here at RuPaul's Drag Race,

we don't just entertain.

We "edjumacate."

And this season, our queens

taught us more new words than

Sarah Palin, although she may

refudiate that.

The first Drag Race word is...

"busted."

- Everybody should have the

right to do drag, even if they

look busted.

- When it's not polished and

it's not there, it's just like,

bitch, it looks busted, and you

need to fix it.

- And you have to not be busted

like miss Raja over here.

- Crusted and busted.

- Busted people, they don't

know they're busted.

- Busted, party of one.

- [laughs]

- These other girls are busted.

- If you want to know the

truth, you need just one letter.

T.

- Ugh, I have so much T for you.

- What is the T?

- Here's the T.

- Just give me the T.

- There's the T.

- What's the T?

- She knows the T.

- You spilled your T to your

mom?

- How do you say, "that's the

T in Spanish?"

- [speaks Spanish]

- What?

- Oh, that is not the T.

- Some queens invented

their own catchphrases.

- Hallelu, ladies!

Hallelu!

He said hallelu.

- Hallelu!

- Hallelu.

- Hallelu.

- Is that a read?

- Hallelu, lelu.

- To quote Alexis Mateo, it

should say...

- Bam!

- Bam.

- Bam!

- Love the bam in all that

stuff.

- Bam!

- It was bam.

- Ah, thank you.

- Echa, echa, echa pa'lante!

- Help me say it.

- Echa pa'lante.

- Echa pa'lante.

- Echa pa'lante.

- Echa pa'lante.

- Darling, I have one thing to

say to you.

- ♪ Echa pa'lante ♪

- And there were certain

expressions that seemed to get

stuck in all our heads.

Be a lady.

- Be a lady.

- Be a lady.

- "Don't be shady, be a lady."

- That bitch dances the house

down.

- He is going to ream me the

house down.

The house down is a drawn-out

version

of the exclamation point.

She is fierce, the house down.

- She is painted the house down.

- I'm padding the house down.

- I'm a diva, because a diva

delivers.

- Oh, so now you're delivering.

- Cannot walk.

- Oh, so, now you injured.

- It's really just the shoes.

- So now you're a drag queen?

- I can walk on water.

- Oh, so now you Jesus?

- [laughs]

- And then there's every drag

queen's favorite.

The f-word.

- Ooh, girl, you look fierce.

- I am fat, I am fierce.

- The reason you're here is

because you are fierce.

- It's like, "bitch, you look

fierce."

- Your Joan Crawford was not

Mildred fierce.

- You know there are some fierce

b*tches here.

- She's one fierce mothertucker.

- But I think I did a fierce job

today.

- We're not here to be shady,

just fierce.

And what do you call something

that's fiercer than fierce?

You call it sickening.

- I am what? Sickening.

- Sickening.

- It was sickening to break him

in, honey.

- And by sickening, she means

sending people to the hospital.

- That's when it's, like,

sickening, girl.

- My thing is glamour and being

sickening.

- Thank you.

- One day, Alexis Mateo, I will

be as sickening as you.

- Sickening, no?

- Hi, and welcome back to the

superstar edition of

RuPaul's Drag Race.

Now, here to help me count down

the most sickening fits and

fashions, I've invited three

legendary children.

Yes, legendary.

Welcome back the tasty Jujubee.

The mistress Raven.

And America's reigning drag

superstar, miss Tyra Sanchez.

Well, hello, my queens.

- Hey, Ru.

- Hey, mama.

- Welcome back.

- Thank you for having us.

- [laughs]

- Now, ladies...

let's count down the most

sickening fits and fashions on

the runway.

Coming in at number ten,

Manila Luzon

and her fluffy Christmas muff.

- Ooh.

- Look at the size of that muff.

I think she looks like this

exotic Russian model.

She looks absolutely

breathtaking.

- Manila Luzon, you have a muff

to die for.

- I think she looks fabulous.

I mean, I want that outfit for

myself.

It might be the only muff I put

my hands in.

It's cute.

- Coming at number nine

is Yara Sofia's

twisted follicle fantasy.

- I loved it.

The purse is my favorite.

It was, like, very hot.

- Yeah, she puts it together.

- This thing, though, I don't

know how that stayed on her

head.

- I think she looked like

a couture poodle.

Giving you hair body.

Ruff.

[laughter]

- All right, girls, coming in

at number eight, the ambush of

Shangela.

Who do you think should go home

tonight?

- I would like to see Shangela

go.

She's just a loudmouth, and

she's always talking, and

halleluing.

- Shangela, although your

personality shines, I think you

should be on season five or six.

That's where you should be.

- You know, you three have all

been in the workroom with

Shangela before.

- Yes.

- Is she annoying, Jujubee?

- I don't think she's annoying

at all.

She cracked me up.

- Yeah?

- I was mad when she left.

I wanted to see more of her.

So I think it was great that

she's back.

- Do you think that was fair

what Manila and Raja said to

Shangela?

- Well, I think everyone's

entitled to their own opinion,

but it just reminded me of the

wedding episode.

So I felt like how Shangela

felt.

They're entitled to say what

they want to say.

I think they could have said it

in a more polite way.

- In your case or in Shangela's

case?

- In both cases.

- [laughs]

- I'm sorry.

- In our number seven spot,

it's our cheerleading jocks in

frocks.

They've got spirit, yes they do.

They've got spirit.

How 'bout you?

- Whoo!

- Baby!

- Wrap your d*ck!

Wrap up your d*ck!

- No bareback! No bareback!

- Abstinence is for boogers,

but we love our diaphragm!

- Protection is the key!

Safe sex!

- These are some ladies.

- Well, one of 'em looked like

Juju.

- Okay, she was giving you body.

- Yeah.

- She was giving shoulders,

girl.

- Whatever.

- Raja was my favorite.

It reminded me so much

of White Chicks

when they started dancing.

It was just hilarious.

- I love Yara Sofia trying to

spell out the word "wrap," and

every letter, it sounds like

she's gonna say a different

letter.

- Give me the A!

- A!

- Give me the ah-a!

- A!

- Their performance was one of

the funniest things I've seen on

national television in a long,

long time.

- Safe sex, m*therf*ckers!

- Wrap that d*ck!

- Coming in at number six is

Raja from the lost tribe of

supermodels.

- Fabulous fierce.

I wish I had her body, for real.

There needs to be a time when

you can go, "okay, I'm gonna

rough it up and make this a

little edgy."

I wanna see that bitch do

Avatar.

- Dragatar.

- Yes.

- At number five, Alexis

Mateo's eye-popping,

jaw-dropping outfit from

the drag queens of comedy.

- I'm a Latina girl, and I only

have two options in this

country.

And you all know I didn't came

here to clean toilets, baby, so

I became a stripper, baby!

- I love big titties.

[laughter]

- Actually, last season,

I think you were the only queen

who had a breast plate.

- Mm-hmm.

- This season, several of the

girls were pumping breast

plates.

Is that a trend that's happening

around the world right now?

- Um, I've noticed that,

wherever I go now, there are

a lot of queens with it now.

It comes to the point where,

like, I don't even wear it as

much anymore because...

- Are you pumping the breast

plate now?

- No. No.

- Just natural.

- Just natural.

- [laughs]

Making the number four spot

on our countdown is the gift

that keeps on giving...

Carmen Carrera's ass.

- I think clothing repels off of

her.

You know?

I'm like, "girl, did you get

that half off?"

- My d*ck would be really mad

as...

I don't know where she put it.

- Pissed off.

- She's got some skills.

- Yeah.

- In your group, Raven, were

there any girls who were naked

like that?

- I think the only one that

came close to that was Mystique.

- Yeah.

I'm kidding.

[laughter]

- Coming in at number three is

Shangela, serving some

post-modern pimp realness.

- Well, you know I had a dumbass

girlfriend.

She came screaming at me last

week, talkin' about, "Laquifa!"

I said, "what?!"

"Where your hoes at?"

I said, "bitch, don't you see

I'm wearin' four pair of hose

right here

holding back my d*ck!"

- That bitch is hilarious.

I can watch that over and over

again.

- It was very well thought out.

Everything that she did.

The way she puts her hand on

her, "I'm also my own ho."

I absolutely loved it.

- Coming in at number two on

the most sickening fits and

fashions involves miss India

Ferrah getting a bit carried

away.

- If that were me, if that was

me carried away...

Mimi would have been

drop-kicked.

- Uh-oh.

- I would have got kung fu on

her.

- Okay.

- Yes, ma'am.

It crosses a line, and it shows

your desperation.

- First and foremost,

be a lady.

- Keep it cute.

- Keep it cute.

- Yes, ma'am.

- Now, what would you have done

in that situation?

- Well, it's $75,000 that

you're giving away, and you

don't want to go home.

You want to be there and you

want to win.

So, in her mind, she's thinking,

"I can't go home.

I cannot go home."

- But I will say India handled

it very well.

When she was finally put down,

she did her thing.

I will say props to India.

And I love India's mug.

- And now, the moment we've all

been waiting for, the coveted

number one spot on our

countdown.

The most sickening of them all

goes to...

Who could it be?

Isn't anybody gonna interrupt

me?

- Hold on, now, Ru.

The top spot belongs to...

- Ahggh...

- You!

- Me?! What?

What are you talking about?

Are you telling me that I'm

number one three years in a row?

- Three years in a row.

- Is that a record?

Susan Lucci, eat your heart out.

- My favorite was

your Barbie look.

You came out and you were like,

"okay."

- Valley girl.

- Oh, yes.

- Where I was going as a black

woman for the first time in my

life.

I was portraying a black woman.

- You nailed it.

- Do you think so?

- Did a really good job.

- Oh, good, thank you.

Thank you.

Raven, what was your favorite

look?

- The one where you're in the

black and yellow dress.

- That's the glamazon with the

Mohawk story going.

- Yes.

- It was gorgeous.

- And, Tyra, what about me?

What about RuPaul?

What I want to know is what

dress would you want to mock?

- It's like a peach color.

- Yeah, it's got the dandelion

big...

- All over, I think I'd want to

mock that one.

- Very ra-cha-cha.

[laughter]

Well, thank you, ladies.

I know you'll be watching next

week to find out who gets

crowned America's next drag

superstar.

Thank you for chiming in.

Lots of luck.

Welcome back to the superstar

edition of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Now, to reach the final three,

Alexis, Manila, and Raja had to

really pump up the volume.

Because the ten queens who left

before them did not go quietly.

- Hello.

all: Hi!

- Now, we barely got to

know Venus D-Lite.

A fierce Madonna

impersonator...

Venus found her holiday was cut

short, and quicker than a ray

of light, she was gone.

The next queen to fly the coop

was Phoenix.

After an awkward first

impression, her psychic ability

made her team captain.

- Action!

- You've arrived in a

hermaphrodite spaceship.

Prepare to trannyport in three,

two, one.

- Phoenix, you're delivering

all your lines away from the

camera.

We need to see your gorgeous

face.

- Okay.

- I think you could have been a

little zanier, especially with a

name like Lady Tata.

- But even Phoenix couldn't

predict that her performance as

Lady Tata would make her the

second queen to leave the race.

Mimi Imfurst...

- Welcome to my party!

I brought cookies.

- Got off to a rocky start.

Her confidence was shaken when

she tried to put the "merry"

back in Christmas.

- [crying] I don't know what I

was thinking.

And if I have to lip-synch,

I'll

m*therf*cking lip-synch my life

off.

- But her lively personality

soon came busting out all over.

Much to the annoyance of some of

the other girls.

- Action.

- Aah!

- Miss Mimi, there's a

difference in being talented...

and being a showboat.

- Her performance from

Queens from Uranus received

some stellar reviews.

But her workout video proved to

be more pain than gain.

- You gotta get higher!

Chase after your man!

You're gonna grab him!

- Oh!

- Hold him up!

- Cut! It's just feeling a

little disorganized.

- It was hokey.

It was not good.

- And her lip-synch with India

Ferrah got way too physical.

- Get her off of me!

- And Mimi Imfurst was the

third queen to go home.

India Ferrah arrived from Ohio

with an all-star reputation.

- Girl...prison, honey.

I look over to Phoenix copying

my style, so I actually had to

go up to her and be a little

c**t to her.

I love your hair.

- India's rubber boobies became

stars in their own right.

- I thought they were just

completely believable.

- But the judges wanted to see

more than just jiggle.

- Give me more face.

- Okay.

- Give me more of that.

- There is a hell no storm.

Okay?

- Her performance as the QNN

weather girl was met with an

arctic blast, and India was the

fourth to sashay away.

This next lady boy served fish

like she was working at Red

Lobster, and we call this queen

Mariah.

- Prepare to gag on my eleganza.

- One of the most flawless

beauties to ever grace the

runaway.

Mariah's poise and

self-confidence seemed like it

would carry her far.

- When we find out that we have

to go out during the daytime and

go shopping in drag, I'm good,

'cause, baby, if it's right,

it's right.

- And in the snatch game, her

impression of Joan Crawford did

not earn her the respect she

felt entitled to.

- Now, that is not a wire

hanger.

- It's not.

- What is it?

- It's a wooden hanger.

[all groan]

- And that led to the

emancipation of Mariah.

It's safe to say that Stacy

Layne Matthews has put

Back Swamp, North Carolina, on

the map.

Her clone does not sleep alone.

- You look so much

like my relatives.

Is she related and I don't know

it?

- The back swamp Jacksons.

- Shake it! Ohh!

- Excellent.

- Yes! Mmm!

- But Stacy's personality,

humor,

and star quality soon emerged.

- Okay.

- Monique?

- Precious!

- Uh-oh.

Is Precious back there?

- Mm-hmm.

Bitch knows I'm hungry as hell.

- Eventually, the pressure of

competition started to get to

Stacy.

And even her red velvet cake

ensemble wasn't sweet enough to

keep her in the competition.

Delta work arrived here as one

of the girls to b*at.

- Delta, you better...

♪ Work ♪

- And I'm Delta Work.

Pour yourself another cup of

ambition

because this is the Morning

After News.

- Looking sexy.

- So do you. I love you in pink.

- Thanks.

- And, darling, we're done.

- Oh! Cool!

- [laughs]

- We won't be able to get you

to put clothes on anymore.

- No, I don't think so.

Carmen Carrera better watch out.

- [laughs]

Her ability to make us laugh

kept her in the competition week

after week.

- One, two, three. Like that!

You see how that feels?

Do it like that!

You've got enough, you can stick

it right down inside there.

And you can jump up and down.

- But in the end, it was her

stand-up comedy routine

that got

her eliminated.

Jersey princess Carmen Carrera

flaunted a figure

that wouldn't quit.

- Hey, hey.

- Carmen Carrera is like the

flyest girl you're ever gonna

meet in your life.

- She's an ass-tronaut.

- I make sure that her body is

flawless.

If you find the flaw, let me

know.

- Hey.

No foam here.

- 100% made in the USA.

- Ohh!

- Her reggae version of

Superstar

didn't make the sun splash

she wanted it to.

- ♪ Gonna remember my name ♪

- But in a Drag Race first,

the judges later overruled

my decision.

- I can't.

I don't wanna look.

Ohh!

[cheers and jeers]

- I'm back, b*tches.

both: Uh-oh, she said

my p*ssy's turning red.

- Ooh!

both: No burn, limpy.

Protection is the key!

- Unable to turn her jock into

a convincing drag sister,

Carmen

was sent home...again.

This time for good.

This season started with a big

surprise.

- Hallelu, ladies!

[cheers and applause]

- What the f*ck?

- Ohh!

- But it turns out the surprise

was on Shangela when her snowman

couture put her in the bottom

two in the first week.

both: Stop flirting!

You stop flirting!

Ohh!

- She rocketed back, winning

the next challenge with her

twin bot, Alexis Mateo.

[imitating Cher] Shangela.

It's the drive I saw in Shangela

that kept her fighting when her

back was up against the wall.

- I said, "bitch, better have

my money!"

You pick up the hallelula hoop

and you put it back around your

waist!

And you work the hallehula hoop.

One, two, three, four.

I don't want that whore no more.

Five, six, seven, eight.

I am gonna find a date.

- But even her irrepressible

hallelu spirit couldn't carry

Shangela into the final three.

Yara Sofia arrived from

Puerto Rico as a dark horse

in this competition.

- Oh oh!

Oh, almost b*rned my ass.

Oh, my god.

Cha! Cha!

Echa pa'lante!

- But her sense of humor and

her

joy for life proved to be

contagious in challenge...

- Ohh!

- After challenge.

- Hyuh! [raspberry]

Get out! Get out! Get out!

Get out! Get out!

Get out, get out, get out!

- Let me hear some of your

English accent.

[laughter]

- Can I have some whater?

[laughter]

How'd it sound?

- By George, I think you've got

it!

- Ohh, rheally?

- Yes!

But, forced to lip-synch for

her life against her good

friend

Alexis Mateo, Yara seemed to

throw in the towel too early.

- I'm so angry, and I'm so

disappointed.

I'm a mess.

- Sadly, we had to say adios.

I'm so proud of each of these

incredible queens.

They made this competition the

stiffest one yet and really

forced our final three to earn

their place at the top.

Welcome back to the superstar

edition of RuPaul's Drag Race.

This year, the judge's panel

was star-studded.

- [laughs]

- But you didn't get to see

half of what goes on behind that

table until now.

Like when my best girlfriend

Michelle Visage and I start

kicking, things can get real

stupid.

- Seeing India tonight on the

runway was like walking into the

mall,

and Claire's exploded all over

her.

- Well, I want to see you do me;

how would you do me?

[laughs]

Michelle, sashay away.

- Ohh.

- You know, my personal mantra

is, it's not a party until

someone gets a bucket of pig

blood dumped on her head.

- Oh, that's mine too.

Mm, it smells like freedom

in here.

- Ooh, I thought I washed.

- [laughs]

The boy judges had their manic

moments too between Santino,

Billy B., and Mike Ruiz...

child, nobody was safe.

- She always looks beautiful,

but she looks like a beautiful

special needs child.

[laughter]

- And we love special needs

children.

- Some of you who do have very

feminine features still contour

the crap out of it, and you look

like Lil Kim before she went to

the doctor.

- Oh! Oh, oh!

- I'm just saying.

- You need to get

a refrigerator,

because you're going sour.

- Am I wilting?

- There's some fruit flies

buzzing around your head.

- Now, Billy, is it possible

that you are pregnant right now

and you don't know it?

- My shoes are wet.

I think my water just broke.

[laughter]

- You did this funny thing with

your lips when you were doing

the runway, this puckering

thing.

It looks like you were...

suck the

paint off a Cadillac

with those lips.

- Your...pie looked delicious.

And not the one you were

holding, heh heh!

In a whole constellation of

asses,

she's got the brightest ass.

- Thank you very much, Albert

Einstein.

Santa Claus, please, keep it

quiet.

Thank you, Phil Donahue.

Now, my favorite part of the

show is watching our celebrity

guest judges, who are really

just big fans, get caught up in

the spirit of drag race.

And nobody goes home until

they've strutted their stuff on

the runway.

Don't be jealous of their

boogie.

- Not only can the judges walk

the walk,

they talk the talk too.

Here is some never-before-seen

footage to show you just what I

mean.

- I think it's extraordinary.

You look like Paris Hilton if

she was the Motel 6 heiress.

[laughter]

- I think Santa has Venus envy.

[laughter]

- It looks like ladies' night at

the Star Wars cantina.

Are you feeling intergalactic?

- Very intergalactic.

- That's so funny, because I'm

interga-lactating right now.

- Are you?

- Because that is the real T,

this girl, okay?

If you could put a pair of

trousers and a blazer and look

feminine, hon'ty, you deserve to

snatch several daytime Emmys,

okay?

- The walk, however.

It's like you do have a horse

between your legs.

- Apparently, he does.

- Your smile is absolutely

lovely.

- 15 years since I've been to

the dentist.

I just brush and floss.

- What?

- But you just take 'em out and

put 'em in a glass at night,

right?

- The biggest career move I ever

did was

to have my teeth removed.

- Exactly.

- Choking on chicken in an

exercise video is not good.

- It's not cute.

It's not cute for her.

- But choking on chicken in

private or choking your chicken.

- Choking anybody's chicken is

not cute

if it's on camera.

- I think your dress goes with

the whole India theme.

Sari.

- Sorry seems to be the

hardest...dress to wear.

- Yeah.

It is, it is.

- Smizing got out of control.

The smizing was...it's like gonna

be the next version of Saw.

Like, Saw 10: The Smize.

- Smize 5.

- Oh, I'm gettin' daggers!

I'm gonna cut you and she's

gonna cut me.

It's gonna be a bitch fight!

- You know, there's something

about RuPaul's Drag Race that

frees up our judges to let it

all hang out.

Maybe a little too far out.

- If you haven't noticed, I'm

like a bald-headed ho.

I don't have any hair at all.

- That's the cake I would've

wanted

when I was like eight and having

my princess birthday party,

so I guess when I was eight, I

wanted a gay wedding cake.

Which makes sense.

- I want that shrug so bad.

- This one?

- I want to roll around in it.

I want to see it first thing in

the morning.

I want to nuzzle it.

- The thing that I didn't like

was, like, I felt like she had a

bouquet of flowers in her hair.

- What's wrong with flowers in

her hair?

- And it was really distracting.

- Will you look at Ru?

- Yeah, I've got a bouquet of

flowers here.

- Ru's got a damn florist,

not a bouquet.

- I got a lot going on.

- You're more fresh than a

hibiscus bush.

- I got some birds.

I had some snakes.

- I'm gonna have an apple in a

minute.

[laughter]

- Did you bake that cake in your

lovin' oven?

- What? I'm sorry?

[laughter]

Never mind.

Judges, you have not been a help

at all.

- Sorry.

- Two-time guest judge, the

luminous La Toya Jackson, has a

giggle that is both magical and

infectious.

Before long, she had everybody

doing the toy-toy titter.

Hee hee hee hee!

- [giggling]

[laughter]

[giggling]

Am I wrong for saying that?

- How about that La Toya

Jackson?

- Hee hee hee hee hee!

- Are you recording this?

[giggling]

[all mocking La Toya's laugh]

- I'm drinking champagne!

Hee hee hee hee!

- [giggles]

Stop it.

- Welcome back to the superstar

edition of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Now, there's more to drag

queens than meets the eye.

Beneath all the padding,

glitter, and false eyelashes,

lady boys need love too.

- I've had a boyfriend

for ten years.

- I want to be with my husband

for ten years.

It's been more than three years.

- The thing about a

relationship, and plus, you're

a drag queen; I mean, you gotta

just be ready for anything,

you know?

- Well, the thing is that he

gets a two-for-one with Carmen,

you know what I mean, so...

there's no complaints.

- Are you missing your husband

at all?

- Yes, I miss him, girl.

- Are you?

- And I know he's missing me.

Like, I guess that's the hardest

part of...that I know, like, what

he's going through.

You know, he loves me to death.

He would do anything for me.

He goes to all my shows.

Helps me, dresses me.

- Oh, how cool.

- It's so difficult for us in

this business to actually meet

somebody.

- Oh, yes.

- That's why you have to date

another drag queen.

- Yes!

- It's nice, because, like, you

understand each other.

And you double your wardrobe.

[laughter]

- When it comes to seeing their

son in high heels and a dress,

some parents just don't

understand.

But our brave and talented

queens have learned to carry on.

- Yara, has your family ever

come to see you perform?

- My mother, the thing she

doesn't get it is she thinks

that I'm a stripper.

- Well, you kind of are.

- She doesn't get that

we lip-sync and we do

[indistinct],

you know what I mean?

She doesn't get it.

- I think Yara's a stripper.

[laughs]

- Hey, Shangela, has your

grandmother ever seen you

perform?

- She loved it, she was like,

"I couldn't believe it.

You look like a woman.

I said, 'That's not DJ.

That's a white woman.'"

- Home is where the love is.

And some of our queens have

created new families, with drag

mothers and drag sisters that

make the world a more fabulous

place to live.

- You guys have houses.

- Mm-hmm, houses.

- What does that mean?

Like a family?

- It's kind of like

fraternities and sororities.

But with gay culture.

Most of our house names are

after designers.

- Okay.

- So it's like you have the

house of Balenciaga, the house

of Chanel, the house of...

so many others.

- What house are you in?

- Balenciaga.

- The Balenciaga.

- Balenciaga. Okay.

- I miss my drag family.

I mean, I see my family...

I call them my family 'cause

they really are my drag family.

But more than that, they're my

friends.

And I see them and talk to them

every day, all day long.

Even if we're not working.

- Exactly.

So really just family.

- Let's do this; let's do that.

- Before I did drag, I used to

go watch Raja's shows.

So she's like my unofficial

drag mother.

- Okay.

- Amen and hallelu.

Now, coming out is different for

everybody.

Some queens don't put it

together until later in life.

And others, well...they just

seem to be born that way.

- When I came out of the womb,

I came out.

So it was just a matter of my

parents having to learn

and deal with it, you know?

- I grew up in a very ignorant

place.

We got, like, one gay kid a

year.

- Were you that one gay kid in

your class?

- I was the one gay kid that

everyone probably suspected.

I can remember, like, in

kindergarten, I was in catholic

school...and I would just like

go up to boys and kiss them.

- Believe me, if we were in

kindergarten together, I would

let you kiss me.

- [laughs]

- So, miss Phoenix, girl, we

both are from Georgia.

Was it as unpleasant for you as

it was for me?

- I remember, like, in high

school, somebody getting pegged

in the head with a Coke can,

'cause he was gay.

- Girl, shut up.

- And...

- They, ooh, they were...

- Yeah, I was like, "absolutely

not."

I'm like, "whatever is going on

with me..."

- Is gonna be with me.

- It's gonna be with me.

I'm not telling another

m*therf*cker.

One of my best friends, he kind

of like helped me come out, and

he actually is the one that

helped me get started in drag,

so...

- Oh, word.

- Yeah, I mean, he, like, kind

of showed me there is, like,

another world out there.

- Thank god.

- I'd take my friends to lunch

and be like, "um, okay.

So I have something to tell you.

And, as you know, I've gone on

dates with girls, but also I

have gone on dates with guys."

And then I'd just pause and wait

for the reaction.

And every time, everyone went,

"oh, I knew."

And I was like, "oh."

- I didn't come out.

My mom caught me.

- What do you mean she caught

you?

- Wait, wait, wait.

Your mom caught you doing what?

- I called my neighbor, and I

was doing my thing, and then my

mom opened the door, heh.

And I was there...

- Alexis, what's your coming out

story?

- It was horrible.

- How?

- I decided to have an

experience with a man.

He used to pick me up at school.

I got really scared, 'cause

everybody started saying that I

was gay and all this bullshit.

So I cut off relationship

thingy,

and he wrote a letter to my mom.

- [gasps]

- I walk in my house, and my

mom was sitting at the table,

and she said to me, "put your

backpack in your room.

I need to talk to you."

The jig was up.

- Welcome back to the superstar

edition of RuPaul's Drag Race.

In just one week, one of these

queens...Manila Luzon, Raja, or

Alexis Mateo...will be crowned

America's next drag superstar

and walk away with a lifetime

supply

of Kryolan professional

makeup...

headline logo's Drag Race tour,

featuring cocktails perfected

by Absolut,

and win a cash prize of 75,000.

Let's take a look back at the

special blend of charisma,

uniqueness, nerve, and talent

that make these three queens the

cream of the crop.

Manila Luzon had a unique

insight coming

into this competition.

- My drag persona Manila is my

personal muse, because I inspire

myself.

During the day as a boy, I'm a

graphic designer.

And my job does affect my drag

because it really helps me put

together a visual story that I

want to communicate to the

audience.

- Her comedic abilities made

the judges laugh in challenge

after challenge after challenge.

- Manila, you're all ears, girl.

[laughter]

- Manila proved that there's

more to her than just comedy.

She brought originality and

served up high glamour.

- Drag, to me, is creatively

bringing together an entire

story and costumes and

character

and putting them

into one living being.

That's the best part.

- A world-class queen

with beauty, brains,

and a bright persona,

Manila just might have what it

takes to be

America's next drag superstar.

Christmas came early for

Southern California native Raja,

winning both challenges her

first week here.

- Oh, no stranger to the runway.

- I've always been a drag

queen.

To me, it's just like

breathing.

I've always loved fashion and I

do drag because I don't believe

that only women are allowed to

wear beautiful, fashionable

things.

- Her high fashion

sensibilities, unexpected

choices, and incredible makeup

artistry kept Raja at the top

of the class.

- I love iconic people

within fashion.

A little coo coo, a little

berserk, a little funny,

a little eccentric...that's my

style; that's my fashion

reference that I look to.

I don't care to look like

a Kardashian.

Raja is cultural.

She's smart.

She's adventurous.

She definitely thinks

outside of the box.

And she's genderless.

She's raceless

and she's ageless.

- Raja isn't just fierce.

She proved that she's versatile,

intelligent,

and isn't afraid to act the

fool.

- No one can hear your

lip-synching in space.

Prepare to die!

- Raja is definitely at the top

of her game.

But will her many talents take

her to the top of the heap?

Straight out of central Florida

comes Alexis Mateo.

Bam.

- Hi, my name is Alexis Mateo

Rodriguez Rivera Elizabeth

y todos los demas.

[laughter]

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

Bam! Bam!

- Cha-cha.

- A Puerto Rican pageant queen

whose beauty and positive

attitude are captivating.

- I grew up doing pageants.

And it's always about how

flawless

and how perfect you are.

So I guess, in the back of my

mind, I'm always trying to be

completely pageant-ready.

- Behind her big smile,

we learned a story of pain

and loss.

Do you know anybody

in the m*llitary?

- [sighs]

Three years ago, I met somebody

very special in my life.

We get our relationship very

secretly.

And, like, the best moments of

my life was with him.

And he got called to go to

service,

and I don't know nothing

about him

since like a year and a half.

So I really don't know

if he's okay.

- What would you say to him

right now?

- I want to say I'm sorry and

that I love him so much

and that I am very proud of him.

- Alexis Mateo, you turned

sadness into gladness

and made us proud.

Condragulations, you are

the winner of this challenge.

- Thank you.

- Is there anything

you'd like to say?

- I know some things

happen in life.

It teaches you a lot of valuable

lessons.

And this one helped me to grow,

'cause I normally depend a lot

from people.

And I want to say thank you to

that special person that showed

me that I needed to love myself

first.

The best part of being a drag

queen...have the chance to be

a star and be the center of

attention for a second.

When I'm Alexis Mateo,

I think I'm perfect.

In my eyes, Alexis Mateo is the

most beautiful drag queen

in the world.

[cheers and applause]

Bam!

- Alexis proves the winning

power of perseverance.

And that is a quality of

a champion, honey.

So there you have it.

Are you team Manila?

Team Raja?

Or team Alexis?

All three are fierce

competitors.

But only one can be

the champion.

Tune in next week, when we crown

America's next drag superstar

on the grand finale of

RuPaul's Drag Race.

And remember,

if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna love

somebody else?

Can I get a amen in here?

- Amen!

- Let the music play!