- Previously
on RuPaul's Drag Race...
- Tired-ass showgirl.
- At least I am a showgirl,
bitch.
Go back to Party City
where you belong.
- I thought this evening
was kind of thrilling.
- Milan's not exciting enough.
I didn't really care.
- Get those nuts away
from my face!
- Cut, print, Emmy.
- Latrice Royale,
condragulations.
- Ah.
- The color green
reminds me of fungus.
- Milan, shantay, you stay.
Madame LaQueer, sashay away.
And tonight...
Cock-a-doodle-Ru!
[chicken clucks]
- The queens lay an egg.
And you'll be seeing double.
- [laughs]
- That is not what I want to see
in my drag queen.
- With extra-special
guest judges
Ross Mathews
and Loretta Devine.
The winner
of RuPaul's Drag Race
will receive a lifetime supply
of NYX Cosmetics,
a one-of-a-kind trip courtesy
of ALandCHUCK.travel,
headline Logo's Drag Race tour
featuring Absolut Vodka...
cocktails perfected...
and a cash prize of $100,000.
And may the best woman win.
- I get Madame's hangers.
- Oh, jeez, I get the heads.
- Madame LaQueer is gone.
The room's starting to feel
a little bit empty.
"Chad, Sharon, Milan, Dita
equal true friends."
- Oh, my God.
Wait, we're not true friends.
I don't care.
She was a mess.
Sorry about it.
- What'd it feel like to be
in the bottom two?
- I felt my freakin' age.
Thank God I survived.
I don't want to be judged
because of it.
- Bye, Madame.
all: Bye.
- It's a new day.
- You swept it all up yesterday.
- Yes, you did.
- You swept it all up.
- So now that I have this win
under my belt,
I feel like I'm finally
in the game.
America's next drag superstar
will be a big bitch.
- Well, now Kenya is the only
Puerto Rican here.
- I really thought it was gonna
be me and you at the bottom.
- Yeah, maybe I go
to the bottom too,
but my runway goes good.
I don't scare.
Mama, it's not what you say.
It's what you do.
Rawr!
[alarm sounds]
- Yeah.
- You've got shemail.
Are you a high roller
or a Hollywood square?
Because I got a secret.
If you press your luck,
you could be queen for a day.
But if you continue to wipe out
the competition,
honey, you could be going home
with all the tic-tac-dough.
Survey says, the joker's wild.
[laughter]
[cheers and applause]
Hello, hello, hello.
[cheers and applause]
For today's mini challenge,
you'll be pitted
against each other
in a series of grueling
physical stunts
for the brand-new game show
we call b*at the Cock.
- Cock-a-doodle-doo.
- Now, we'll play three rounds
with three contestants each.
The winner of each round
will go beak-to-beak
in a "cocktacular" finale.
And the one b*at the Cock
champion
will win a phone call home.
- Oh.
- Tomorrow is my eighth
anniversary with my partner,
Adam, and that would mean
the world to me
to be able to call him
and tell him I love him.
- Now, this first round
is Cock-A-Doodle-Ru.
First up, Phi Phi O'Hara.
All right, now,
the object of this game
is to pin these chickens
on my face.
Whoever gets the rooster beak
closest to my mouth wins.
Ready. Set. Cock-a-doodle-Ru.
- Oh, sh*t, okay.
- That's more of an earring.
- Pfft!
- Next up, Sharon Needles.
Cock-a-doodle-Ru.
- [laughs]
- Yes!
[laughter]
Contact.
- I'm sorry.
- Next up, Jiggly Caliente.
- Oh.
- Damn, I got it in my hair.
- That means Phi Phi O'Hara
is our winner.
All right, round two, kids.
The object of the game
is to get a single feather
across the finish line.
You can only use your breath.
If the feather hits the ground,
you need to go back
and start all over again.
On your mark. Get set. Blow.
- Go, Dida. Blow!
- Oh, oh, one down.
Starting over again.
- What the f*ck?
It's really hard.
- Yes, Dida!
[all cheering]
- [laughs]
- Dida Ritz is our winner.
Round three, Choke the Rooster.
[chicken clucks]
Now, ladies, the object
of the game
is to get as many rings
around that cock.
On your mark. Get set.
Choke the rooster.
Aim for the head.
- Oh!
- Wow, Milan.
- Milan is our winner.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Now, for the final
championship round,
Phi Phi O'Hara, Dida Ritz,
Milan,
you've got to lay an egg.
Now, the object of the game
is to carry these raw eggs
through these wig heads and lay
them safely in your basket.
And you need to carry these eggs
between me down there.
On your mark. Get set.
Lay an egg.
Now, the first queen
to lay three eggs wins.
Tossed salad
and scrambled eggs.
Ooh.
- Damn!
- Egg drop soup, anyone?
[all cheering]
- I keep dropping my damn eggs.
I'm not happy about this.
[laughter]
- Oh!
[all cheering]
- Phi Phi has laid two eggs.
- Oh!
- Get it, Phi Phi.
- Phi Phi is one egg away.
Phi Phi has laid her third egg.
Our winner is Phi Phi.
[chicken clucks]
You'll get your chance
to make a phone call home
a little bit later.
- Yeah.
- Ladies, for this week's
main challenge,
the password is...
Snatch Game.
[cheers and applause]
- Well...
[all cheering]
- Now, this is your chance
to show off
your best celebrity
impersonation
and channel someone else's
charisma,
uniqueness, nerve, and talent
for a change.
- One word, living legend...
[imitating Cher]
Get into it, babe.
- I expect to be blinded
by stars.
Gentlemen,
start your impressions,
and may the best woman win.
- So what's everybody doing?
- I'm doing Wendy Williams.
- Diana Ross.
- How you doing?
- Yes.
- I'm doing Gaga.
- What about you, Kenya?
- Beyoncé.
- No, I'm...no.
I don't know
what she's thinking.
I love Beyoncé,
but she's not funny.
I'm scared for her.
- Well, may the best woman win.
- I really want you to have
my phone call.
- Are you sure you want
to do that?
Because I feel funny about it,
Phi Phi.
- Honestly, I really wanted
to win it for you.
- Honey, thank you so much.
- Yeah.
- I'm really excited
that Phi Phi's gonna give me
her phone call.
It was really unexpected,
and it was really sweet.
I owe you a big one, girl.
- No, you don't.
- Yeah, I do.
- You're my sister.
- See, you're not
a complete bitch.
[laughter]
- Who are you doing?
- Well, I'm doing, uh,
Michelle Visage.
[laughs]
Vintage Cache!
[laughs]
I thought it would be memorable
poking fun at one
of the judges.
I think a lot of the girls
wouldn't go there.
When in doubt, freak 'em out.
Too much?
Miss Michaels,
is it too much for her?
- Oh!
- [laughs]
- Sharon is doing
Michelle Visage,
which, I mean, that's not
a smart idea at all.
- Hilarious.
- Now finally the judges
are gonna see
that she clearly has no talent.
Sharon should just pack up
and go home.
Bye.
- Don't push it too far
where you're gonna insult them.
Girl, she's gonna see this.
- Let her.
- Who are you doing?
- I'm gonna do Diana Ross.
- You are?
- Yeah.
I mean, I'm used to doing,
like, Donna Summer
and Kelly Rowland and...
you know, and those people
aren't like, "Ah!"
You know, so...
- Yeah, and we're left
with Miss Ross.
- Right.
[laughs]
This challenge
is really exciting for me
because my drag is sort of based
around characters
and impersonations.
My plan is to really have fun
with Diana today.
- Are you nervous this week that
you have to step up your game?
Like, the judges have their eye
on you?
- Maybe, but I choose Beyoncé
because it's more easy for me
doing that character
because I know it.
- You don't think, like, doing,
like, a Latin character
would work in your benefit?
- I can do Shakira,
but I don't like the character.
- I have the wig
if you want to do it.
- Yeah.
- I just hope that they get
funny from it.
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Kenya'd be my sister
in how close we are.
I am worried.
I wanted her to do something
with an accent
so that way,
it wouldn't be a handicap.
Beyoncé's not really funny,
you know.
She takes her career
really seriously.
So I don't know how Kenya's
gonna make it happen.
- Okay, we are what?
- Pretty sisters.
- Thank you.
- Well, Beyoncé and Gaga
should sit next to each other
on the...
- Yeah, I need to share it.
- Maybe I'll let you use
my telephone.
- Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
- I'm so excited.
- To think that, you know,
Cher's gonna see you doing this.
- I picked Cher because
it's what I'm most known for.
- You'll clock someone
doing Cher wrong.
They always do it too big.
- Show me one tape where Cher
went, "Oh!"
She never did that.
That's, like, a stupid thing
that people make up about Cher.
Cher's, like, much more subtle.
Cher's above it all,
you know what I mean?
- I love Chad to death,
but the bitch
likes to talk about Cher
way too much.
- Cher's got a great sense
of humor.
Cher doesn't give a sh*t.
Cher is a one-word diva.
- She's gonna drive me crazy.
- I know she's got a great
sense of humor.
- Well, don't you think
this is where
you're gonna run into a problem,
sweetie?
- With what?
- You're too afraid
to make fun of Cher.
- You know, the stakes for me
are very high.
People are expecting me to
bring a certain level of skill
to the table, and I don't want
to screw it up.
- Hello, hello, hello.
- Hi, Ru.
- Hello.
- Now, I've come to investigate
a case of identity theft.
- Oh, sh*t.
- Let's get to it.
Phi Phi O'Hara.
- Hi, Ru.
- I want to know who you're
doing in Snatch Game.
- Um, Gaga.
- Wow, that's a risky choice,
because you know in the past...
- It's been done.
- It's been done,
and the girl who did it
wasn't able to convey...
'cause what is her personality?
- Well, she's always about,
you know,
her fans and monsters
and paws up.
- I know, you're making it
sound very simple,
but I think it may be
a little more difficult
than what you're thinking.
- Well, I do Gaga a lot,
and I've been hired
all over United States
to impersonate her.
- All right.
- I've been recognized a lot
for my Lady Gaga.
So I think Ru is gonna love it
and eat it up.
- All right, get back to work.
- I surely will.
- All right.
Well, hello, Dida Ritz.
- How you doing?
- Oh, well, there you have it.
Do you know enough
about Wendy Williams?
- I do know some things
about her.
- She watches this show,
so you better be on point.
- I hope I am.
- Right, because she's got a few
trademark signature moves
that she does,
but then, inevitably, you have
to be quick on your toes.
- Yes.
- Have you ever heard her
radio show before the TV show?
- The one and only time I've
heard it is when she actually,
I guess, got into an argument
with Whitney.
- Well, let's...
give me a little sample.
I'll play Whitney.
- Okay.
- You play Wendy Williams.
- Okay.
- Uh, yeah, I heard you been
talking about me.
What's that all about?
- Well, first of all,
how are you doing?
- No, I'm doing fine, sister.
God is good.
God is good. God is good.
- God obviously isn't that good.
You've been getting
in a lot of trouble.
- Bobby Brown. Bobby Brown!
- Yeah, Bobby Brown's not gonna
help you right now, honey.
This is you.
How are you doing?
How you doing?
- I heard some Wendy in there.
- Yeah, so...
- That's very good.
- Thank you.
- Commit to the character.
I want to see it bam onstage,
okay?
- I'm gonna make sure I go
as far as possible.
- Good.
All right, get back to work.
- Thank you, Ru.
- Thanks.
Latrice Royale.
Who are you playing?
- Aretha Franklin, baby.
- Oh, of course.
Wow.
How are you gonna make her
come to life as a personality?
- Well, you know she's a diva.
I just kind of play off of
what she's done and...
- Yeah, you have to convey
Aretha Franklin
in, really, a few seconds.
- Right.
- And I'm not clear
on how you're gonna do that yet.
- Aretha is not really known
for catchphrases
and being funny and a comedian,
but she's had
some funny moments.
I'm pretty confident
that I can do this one.
I got this.
- All right.
Well, let's hope
that the risk pays off.
Good luck.
Get back to it.
- Thank you.
- All right.
Little Kenya Michaels.
- Hola.
- Who's your character?
- Beyoncé, the queen bee.
- I've heard of her.
- I'm trying to do
a sick Beyoncé
that have involuntary movements
that is crazy.
- I see.
It's a risk
because of the accent,
and, you know, if you were gonna
do a Latin star,
you would have a little bit
of an advantage.
- Beyoncé is a girl
that is very sexy girl.
- Yeah.
[both laugh]
I feel good in this.
- You're gonna do Beyoncé,
and you're taking a risk.
I hope it pays off for you.
- I'm gonna work it out.
- All right, get back to work.
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
Hey, Willam.
- Hi.
- Who do we have here?
- Jessica Simpson.
- How do you play
Jessica Simpson?
- Jessica doesn't understand
jokes much.
She says stupid stuff,
but she just does it
because she doesn't know better.
- I see.
Are you a fan of hers?
- Who?
- [laughs]
All right, Willam, I'm gonna let
you get back to Jessica Simpson.
I cannot wait.
- Thanks, she's sleeping.
- Oh, she's asleep.
Okay, well, let's let her sleep.
Get back to work.
- Bye. Thank you.
- Milan.
- Hello, Ru, how are you?
- Hi, honey.
Ooh, big hair.
Is it Chaka Khan?
- It's gonna be Diana Ross.
- Oh, my goodness.
You know, last week, you found
yourself in the bottom two
as an actor portraying
a character.
How will you convey
your character this week?
How will you sell Diana?
- Well, I think, um, I was
taking it too small, you know,
and I need to just...
it's better to tell someone
to pull you back,
and hopefully I won't go so far
that it's like a true
caricature.
- And you got to make her funny,
'cause Snatch Game is about
spontaneity and humor.
- Okay.
- All right, Milan, get to it.
- Thank you.
- All right.
Chad Michaels.
- Hey, RuPaul.
- Now, who on Earth could you
possibly be playing?
- My main lady, Cher.
- Cher.
- Yes, sir.
- Wow.
- Honestly, Ru,
everything in my life
has been because of Cher...
I mean, all the places
I've gotten to go,
the people I've gotten to meet,
the clothes on my back,
and I'm really looking forward
to doing her the justice
that she has done for my life.
I basically just owe her
everything.
So it's really important to me
not to offend her.
- [imitating Cher]
All right, I'll see you later.
- All right, babe.
- Oh, my God.
- Thanks, Ru.
- Sharon Needles.
- Hello, Ru.
- Who are you portraying?
- I'm not sure
if you know her at all,
but I'm doing, um,
Michelle Visage today.
- Oh, well, you know
you're supposed
to be portraying a woman.
- Oh, yes, I know.
This is gonna be
a little difficult for me,
but, uh...
- We say that with love,
of course.
- Yes, of course.
- What mannerisms of hers
are you gonna...
- I'm just gonna bring
a lot of harsh vocals
with a Jersey sense,
a lot of cackling.
[laughs]
This is where I completely
disagree with Santino.
- She's a fierce queen.
And it's quite a risk,
'cause she's gonna either
love it or read you for it.
- Right, right, right.
I'm feeling
a little bit nervous,
but I think I'll do her justice.
- All right, Sharon Needles,
get back to it.
- Thank you.
- All right, ladies, listen up.
At today's taping, you'll be
playing the Snatch Game
with our extra-special
guest judges,
late-night hot potato
Ross Mathews...
- Yay!
- Yes!
- And legendary actress
of stage and screen
and original dreamgirl
Miss Loretta Devine.
[cheering and gasping]
- Wow.
Loretta is the sh*t.
She not only acts well.
She sings well.
She's the real deal.
- So don't f*ck it up.
Welcome to the new Snatch Game.
[cheers and applause]
Hello, I'm your host, RuPaul.
Now let's meet our contestants.
This intern has climbed his way
up the Hollywood ladder.
Please welcome funnyman
Ross Mathews.
I'm so happy you're here.
- Oh, please, I'm thrilled.
- Up next, please welcome
the multitalented...
Loretta Devine is here.
- Hi, Ru.
- Hey, Loretta.
You are a national treasure,
my dear.
- Oh, that's so sweet.
- And now let's give
a Hollywood hello
to our star-studded panel.
Now from the best show
on television,
welcome my squirrel friend...
Michelle Visage is here.
Hey.
- I might not be
the biggest star here,
but I got the biggest knockers,
okay?
[laughs]
- Up next, a great idol of mine,
the one and only Diana Ross.
- Yes, Ru, mwah, mwah.
I love you.
But call me "Miss Ross."
- Milan's makeup looks crazy.
I've never seen Diana Ross
look like she's cracked out.
- Next to her is singer,
actress, shoe designer,
entrepreneur Jessica Simpson.
- You won.
- Oh, she's got a piece
of her product hair there.
- It's synthetic.
You can use it to Swiffer
and everything.
- Oh, okay.
Very good pitch there.
Very good pitch.
- You're welcome.
- You're welcome.
- [laughs]
- Let's give some R-E-S-P-E-C-T
to the queen of soul,
Miss Aretha Franklin.
- So glad to be here, Ru.
- What is that you're eating
over there?
- Something that really
satisfies me.
- Oh, okay.
Did you bring enough for
everyone to share, Re-Re?
- Oh, no, baby, I don't share.
- Oh, she don't share.
All right, all right.
Straight from the Jersey Shore,
Snooki is here.
- Hi, Ru.
Ross, are you a juicehead?
- I could try it.
- Oh, my God, I want to smoosh.
- Okay!
- Next to her, the one and only,
the mother of all monsters,
Lady Gaga is here.
- Work it, girl!
Give a twirl!
Give a twirl, give a twirl,
give a twirl!
- Next to her,
the queen of all media,
Wendy Williams is here.
- How you doing?
- How you doing?
- How you doing?
It's nice to see you again.
- We've got 16-time
Grammy winner, hey, Beyoncé!
- Whoo!
- She's had a top ten hit
in every decade since the '60s.
She's done it all.
The original dark lady,
Cher is here.
- I've been there, done that.
I spread La Mer on my toast
in the morning.
All right, you know,
I'm Cher, bitch!
[laughter]
Ooh.
- Yes, you are.
- I don't care.
Ross, Loretta, I ask a series
of questions.
Our celebrities will fill in
the blanks.
You come up with an answer
that you think
will match our celebrities.
First question
is for Loretta Devine.
Ugly Edna is so ugly,
when she goes
to the beauty parlor,
they b*at her face with blank.
- A picture of herself.
- Let's see if we can get
a match.
Michelle Visage.
- All right, Ru, I said
a baseball bat.
Remember, it was '87, we used to
take the J train into Manhattan,
and you used to carry
a baseball bat
before we would work
Susanne Bartsch's party.
We'd make a buffalo nickel
for it,
and it was all we used
for protection.
- No match, Michelle,
but a very good effort.
Thank you very much.
All right, Wendy Williams.
- How you doing?
- Ugly Edna, b*at her
in the face with?
- I love Cher, and I'm gonna say
with Cher's plastic surgeon,
'cause look at Cher.
- Allegedly.
Allegedly.
- She looks good, I mean...
- Cher, I love the hair change.
- Thank you, I can't go five
minutes without switching a wig.
I love 'em. I love 'em.
- Sasha Fierce.
- I want to take a sleepy
right now.
- Oh, oh, oh, oh!
- How's she doing?
[laughter]
- I'm a survivor!
I'm a survivor!
- She's a survivor.
- Kenya is taking it
to the extreme.
- Oh, girl.
- So I need to step up my game.
It's just I don't want to be
flatlining.
- Ross Mathews, you are next.
The real housewives are so fake,
when they make whoopee,
their blanks don't move.
- Their Goldbergs don't move.
- Very funny.
All right, let's go to Snooki
from the Jersey Shore.
- Just like my friend JWOWW,
her tits don't move.
- Her tits don't move.
Beyoncé?
- Wake up.
- Oh, is Beyoncé asleep?
Beyoncé, were you sleeping?
- It's the medication.
- That's no excuse.
You should have seen
what me and Ru were on
at the Limelight.
It's all behind us now.
We were on uppers, downers,
and candy corn.
- [laughs]
All right, Cher, I see
you're wearing your Academy...
well, actually, you did not win
the Academy Award that year.
- I didn't, but I'm wearing
the sh*t out of this headpiece.
I paid a lot for it, so...
- Yes, you did. Yes, you did.
- Those girls are real sleazy.
Their scabies, crabs, and fleas
don't move.
- I'm afraid that's not
a Goldberg, Ross.
- No.
- Loretta Devine,
Fatty Patty is so fat,
when she gets on the scales,
it says blank.
- Ouch, ouch.
- Ouch!
Good answer!
What'd you say, Michelle?
We have a match?
- I said, "Hello,
Madame LaQueer."
- [laughs]
I told her not to wear green.
I hate it!
- Diana Ross, the boss.
- When she got on that scale...
- Yes.
- It said mahogany.
- Ooh.
- The men love me.
The women love me.
They all love me.
- This was a real heavy
Diana Ross.
This is like Diana Ross
about 4:30 in the morning
after a couple packs
of cigarettes.
- Unfortunately that is not
a match.
All right, Jessica Simpson.
Fatty Patty's so fat, when she
gets on the scale, it says...
- Oh!
- [laughs]
- Oh.
- These young people, see,
they don't have no respect.
- No respect.
- No respect!
- This next one is for Ross.
Dumb Dee Dee is so dumb,
she thinks the C word
is short for blank.
- She thinks the C word is
short for Kardashian with a C.
That's how dumb she is.
- That's how dumb she is.
- Stop!
- Let's go to Lady Gaga.
Lady Gaga, she thinks the C word
is short for?
- The crown.
The new diva crown.
Just so you know, the diva here,
not her, not her.
- Uh-huh.
- But now I have the diva crown
'cause I bought it from her.
- I just want to say
to Lady Gaga
that I am the only boss here.
- I don't even need to fight
my own battles
when I have my own monsters
to take care of it for me.
Rawr.
- All right, let's move on
to Miss Aretha Franklin.
- Snooki want smoosh, smoosh!
Snooki want smoosh,
smoosh!
Snooki want smoosh, smoosh!
- Oh, how's she doing? Oh!
- Uh-oh.
- Oh, my goodness.
- The level of
unprofessionalism, far too much.
- [imitates flatulence]
- What did you just do?
Did you just...
- You nasty bitch.
- One more time.
- This is disgraceful.
- All right, Beyoncé,
calm your ass down.
- This is worse than when I had
Omarosa on my show.
Get off me!
- Stars, listen up.
Shy Sheila is so shy.
- How shy is she?
- She's afraid to blank
in public.
- Oh.
- Yes, write it...write it down.
Loretta Devine?
- She's afraid to swallow.
- Swallow in public.
- Yes.
- 'Cause she's shy.
- Shy.
- I have a very shy gag reflex
myself.
[laughter]
Aretha Franklin,
you still down there?
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh-huh, your blood sugar's
going down?
- I don't got any more food.
- You don't have any more food.
- No more snacks.
I can't be bothered.
I am completely over the fuckery
that was going on
in Snatch Game.
- Cher.
- Yes, Ru?
- We're looking for swallow.
- Shy Sheila is so shy
that she's afraid to...
I don't give a rat's ass
because this game
is boring the sh*t out of me.
I don't know why they book me
on these chicken sh*t gigs.
[laughter]
I'm a f*cking Oscar winner.
- Yes, you are.
Yes, you are.
Unfortunately, we've run
out of time.
Now, on behalf of all
our stars,
don't forget to spay and neuter
your neighbor's pets.
Thanks for joining us
on the Snatch Game.
See you next time.
Bye.
- There is such a thing
as going too far,
and it's unfortunate.
- I'ma gonna win!
I'm gonna win.
- You're not getting sh*t.
- Miss Cheesecake.
- This morning, I'm still
feeling very emotional,
very heavyhearted, angry,
disappointed.
I've never been so embarrassed.
The Snatch Game was horrible.
I felt like it was
a three-ring circus,
romper room bullshit going on.
- So what happened yesterday
at Snatch Game, girls?
- Yeah, what the hell
did happen?
It got a little crazy.
- I thought that Snatch Game
was the most romper room fuckery
that I've ever experienced
in my life.
I could not believe
the shenanigans
that was going on
in the front row.
Completely unprofessional.
Completely childish.
And that is not what I came here
to do.
- I don't know where
my character went.
It started off right,
and I don't know what happened.
Did I make a mistake?
Yes.
- Well, it wasn't just you.
Even though Jiggly apologized,
I don't even think she was
the worst of the bunch.
- We know that nobody did
anything out of malice,
but everybody
wants the spotlight.
Some of the younger people,
I think,
should have been a little more
sportsmanlike about it.
- I just want to bitch slap her
because she doesn't know
what she's talking about.
I mean, at her age,
she shouldn't be such a bitch.
- Well, I think overall we
realize that today is a new day.
Bring your best; deliver what's
needed for this competition.
- Bring our breasts?
- Yeah, bring your breasts.
- Okay.
- [laughs]
- All right, you guys,
I'm gonna go call Adam.
[dialing, line rings]
Hi.
- Hi.
Oh, baby.
- Happy anniversary, baby.
I love you.
- Happy anniversary.
I'm so proud of you.
- Thank you.
It's just, I feel like I've been
gone forever.
Oh, my God, I miss you so much.
- I miss you too, baby.
- I'm gonna wear the giraffe
bodysuit that you made today.
- Fun.
- Being able to talk to Adam,
just knowing that he's still
there thinking about me
and rooting for me,
it was good for my soul.
- I like my Gaga, so that's
all that matters.
I guess because I saw
how some people
were going over-the-top...
- Yeah, yeah, I know.
- That I was nervous.
Like, okay, well,
am I not giving enough?
- Yeah, yeah, I know.
- I'm really concerned
about my position here
because I've been consistent
throughout
this entire competition so far.
- This is a problem, girl.
I don't want to go home.
- I don't want you to go home.
- But I'm gonna put that little
wig in my hair today
and go amazing.
- That's all we can do.
- [laughs]
[applause]
Welcome to the main stage
of RuPaul's Drag Race.
Hey, guys.
- Hey, Ru.
- Hey!
- Will the real Michelle Visage
please stand up?
- Here I am.
- No, you're not the real one.
- I swear!
- [laughs]
Shake the dice and steal
the rice, Santino is here.
- Why so blue, Ru?
- Ross Mathews,
how are you tonight?
- I'm fantastic.
I love you in a feather.
- Oh, this old thing.
Loretta Devine.
You look like a million bucks.
- Thank you, Ru.
You look fabulous.
- Thank you.
This week, we challenged
our queens
to give us their best
celebrity impersonations.
Tonight, they've come to the
main stage dressed to impress.
Gentlemen, start your engines,
and may the best woman win.
First up, Jiggly Caliente.
Someone's getting lucky
at the prom.
- I am classing it up
in my blue gown.
I feel and look amazing.
- Breakfast at Jiggly's.
- Yes.
- From Jersey Shore
to Jersey housewife.
Chad Michaels.
- Rawr.
- How many giraffes had to die?
- Right?
- I'm giving you
some giraffe realness,
and I'm free to just stomp
the runway,
no strings attached.
- I love the peekaboos.
- The peekaboos are fabulous.
- Hello, they're saying hi.
- Milan.
Yes, I can, Janelle Monae.
- Or Bruno Mars on Red Bull.
- When I'm on the runway, I feel
like I'm on the tightrope.
And so I really wanted
to embody that essence,
and I wanted to have fun
with that.
- I hope Louis Farrakhan
don't see this.
[laughter]
Oh, Willam.
- Leather and lace.
- Damn, girl.
- My safe word is "yes, please."
[laughter]
- My outfit is very
hard-core '90s,
Grace Jones,
fetish blow-up doll.
- That's a Tarantino dream
right there.
- What are you gonna do,
arrest me for all this ass?
Phi Phi O'Hara.
- Is that a shoulder pad,
or is she just happy to see me?
- Darling, those are
$25,000 pyramids.
- This is my style.
This is my drag.
This is what I'm known for
and what I like to do.
- Assume the position,
Phi Phi O'Hara.
Dida Ritz, black Barbie doll.
- Somebody get a dollar.
She got stuck
in the claw machine.
- Uh-huh.
- I'm feeling like I am at
a Patricia Field show.
I'm giving you
my teddy bear skirt.
- No animals were harmed
in the making of Dida's skirt.
- No. Love a plushy.
- [laughs]
- Kenya Michaels.
Oh, the champion is here.
- Boricua!
- Puerto Rico!
- Oh!
- Boxing is one of the most
important sports
in Puerto Rico, and this
costume represents who I am.
- Float like a butterfly,
sting like a queen.
Sharon Needles.
After a little lunchtime
procedure.
- I'm obsessed with people who
have extreme plastic surgery,
and through the art of makeup,
I can temporarily be
that Janice Dickinson
or that Amanda Lepore.
- Yes, just a little bit more.
- Oh!
- Oh, oh, oh.
Now it's prefect.
- Just a little prick
in the mouth.
[laughter]
Oh, Latrice Royale.
- Oh, elegant.
- In royal blue,
and Royale is she ever.
- Yes, b*tches.
This is what she's serving,
honey.
This royal blue dress
makes me feel
the most beautiful
that I've ever felt, ever.
- I own everything.
- Fabulous.
- And those are my girls.
Welcome, ladies.
This week, you all snatched
our attention,
some for the better
and some for the worse.
When I call your name,
please step forward.
Jiggly Caliente.
Dida Ritz.
Latrice Royale.
You're safe.
You may leave the stage.
- [mouthing words]
- Now it's time
for the judges' critiques.
First up, Chad Michaels.
- Hi, Ru.
- The consistency
in your version of Cher
throughout the entire game
was just spot-on.
I was LOL'ing the whole time.
- I really responded
to this animal print.
Looks really futuristic,
looks really new.
- I especially love
the yellow hair.
I'm thinking about
getting me some.
[laughter]
- It's yours if you want it.
- Thank you, Chad.
Next up, Willam.
- Your Jessica Simpson...
so funny, so perfectly empty,
and you did it in a way
that I think
would make Jessica Simpson
laugh.
- If she could turn her TV on.
- [laughs]
- Willam, let me tell you
why I'm having a problem.
I feel like I don't
know you yet.
I love the way you get onstage.
I love the way
you hold your character.
Now I want to see
what else there is
besides this fierce-body bitch.
- I tend to think that emotions
are for ugly people.
- No!
No, we do have them,
but so can you.
- All right, next up,
Milan as Diana Ross.
- I had trouble with the makeup.
She looked a little cross-eyed
at times.
- You just didn't have
the Diana demeanor.
She floats,
you know what I mean?
She's like Febreze.
It's just better.
- You were like Chris Rock.
Like, how much it cost
for one rib?
- This ensemble tonight,
I like that you had
so much reverence
for Janelle Monae,
but I see you as a man.
The suit, the pants, even,
the saddle shoes...
it all reads as boy.
- Well, I mean,
this is what she wears,
and I really want to stay true
to Janelle's look.
- Bottom line, it's still
a drag queen competition,
and you're giving us drag king.
- Up next, Phi Phi O'Hara.
- The thing about Gaga...
and I'm a huge fan...
is, you picked someone
who's all visual,
and it kind of fizzled.
- I'm not a big fashion icon
or anything,
but the shorts seem like it
should have been cut up higher.
Yeah, like that more.
Those look like old
swimming trunks I used to wear.
[laughter]
- Sharon Needles, tell me about
your runway look tonight.
- You know, I have an obsession
with plastic surgery.
I love to look at people
that have it.
I mean, that's why Chad's, like,
one of my new best friends,
you know?
- Speaking of plastic surgery,
you chose to do Michelle Visage.
- What?
- Now, I'm very excited
to get to Michelle
to hear what she has to say.
- I'm not as old as you wanted
to make me, bitch.
- I have no idea.
- But with that said...
I thought it was brilliant.
Keep doing it.
- I just want to say, you know,
thank you all
and I love you all,
and I'm gonna tell you why.
[laughter]
- Kenya Michaels.
- Hi, Ru.
- I was very confused
with your Beyoncé.
It was really frantic.
The gyration movements
and the body snaps,
that and the medication,
it just didn't have anything
to do with Beyoncé.
- You're kind of a knockout
tonight
in a little sequin
boxer outfit,
but I worry you KO'd yourself
with your Beyoncé yesterday.
- Okay.
- Thank you, Kenya.
And thank you, ladies.
While you enjoy
an Absolut cocktail
in the Interior Illusions
Lounge,
the judges and I
will deliberate.
You may leave the stage.
All right, judges,
just between us "goils,"
what do you think?
Let's start with Chad Michaels.
- The planning, knowing
that she was gonna change wigs
and kind of give you
a new version of Cher
all equally funny.
- But I almost feel like
that was safe for Chad.
- It wasn't something safe
for Chad to do
because Chad really had
something to lose here.
You know, a lot of pressure
on Chad, and did he deliver?
Absolutely.
- Absolutely.
- I like what Sharon Needles
did more.
Now, yes, I know she played me,
but...
[laughter]
It's got nothing to do
with that.
She didn't think traditional.
She definitely was not
a suck-up.
She made me older and harsher...
and cheaper.
- Now that I've actually met
Michelle,
I think she could have had
more hair,
greater makeup,
I mean, bigger tits, even.
[laughter]
- Hey, let's talk about Willam.
- Willam's quite an actress.
Really committed to the
character of Jessica Simpson.
It was really funny.
- I always know
she's gonna throw back,
so that's exciting to watch.
But there's so much under there
that I don't even think Willam's
ready to let out.
I'm not gonna be able
to root for her
until she shows me that
a little bit.
- Right, that vulnerability.
Milan, I had a problem
with the suit.
If the suit were a woman's
suit, it would be different.
- I felt like I was watching
Sammy Davis Jr.
- Uh-oh.
- Okay.
- That is not what I want to see
in my drag queen.
- Oh, my goodness.
- Where did Kenya Michaels
go wrong?
- Well, first of all,
she made Beyoncé crazy.
- What was that Beyoncé?
- I know.
- It felt very uncomfortable.
- Maybe she just doesn't have
enough references
in her repertoire
to pull out something
that's believable and funny
and...
- That's what drag is about.
You have to have a knowledge
of pop culture.
All right, let's talk about
Phi Phi O'Hara.
She took some heat tonight
because of her runway look,
and also her Lady Gaga was
nothing to write home about.
- It just wasn't good.
- I like her, but she missed
the mark on all counts tonight.
- All right, silence.
Bring back my girls.
Welcome back, ladies.
I've made some decisions.
Chad Michaels...
- Yes, ma'am.
- This week,
you hit the jackpot, baby.
Condragulations, you are
the winner of this challenge.
[applause]
You've won a custom gown
from Marco Marco.
- Thank you all so much
for recognizing me.
It means the world to me.
- Thank you.
Willam, Sharon Needles,
you're safe.
- [sobs]
I've never had, like,
girlfriends.
I've never really been friends
with other drag queens.
I've always been an actor on TV.
I was on Boston Public with you.
And I'm getting to know these
girls, and they're awesome.
And it sucks to know
that one of them
is gonna have to go home
so I can win.
It's hard.
So yeah, that's it.
And I'm not acting.
Swear to God.
- All right, ladies,
the three of you
may join the other girls.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Kenya Michaels,
impersonating Beyoncé
is not your destiny, child.
I'm sorry, my dear,
but you are up for elimination.
- I feel bad
because I can't believe
that I go to the bottom two.
- Phi Phi O'Hara, your Lady Gaga
was on the edge of gory.
You're safe.
- [sobs]
- It's very important
for you to understand
we're looking for the top.
There's $100,000 at stake here.
The world is watching.
Bring your A game.
I'm telling you, Phi Phi,
you better come harder.
- I will.
- All right, you may join
the other girls.
Milan, my dear, I'm sorry,
but you are up for elimination.
- I was pissed.
It's the second time.
- Two queens stand before me.
Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me
and save yourself
from elimination.
The time has come for you
to lip-sync for your life.
Good luck,
and don't f*ck it up.
[Vogue playing]
- ♪ Look around ♪
♪ Everywhere you turn
is heartache ♪
♪ It's everywhere that you go ♪
♪ Look around ♪
♪ You try everything you can
to escape ♪
♪ The pain of life
that you know ♪
- Straight out the gate,
Milan's head is on the floor.
His legs are in the air.
And I'm like, uh-oh,
this could be bad.
- ♪ Come on, vogue ♪
♪ Let your body
move to the music ♪
- Kenya is so fierce,
and all I can think of
is, pay homage
to the people who lived
in the vogue world.
- ♪ Greta Garbo and Monroe ♪
♪ Dietrich and DiMaggio ♪
♪ Marlon Brando, Jimmy Dean ♪
♪ On the cover of a magazine ♪
- I feel good.
It's about an attitude.
If you have an attitude,
your booty move.
- ♪ Ladies with an attitude ♪
♪ Fellas that were
in the mood ♪
♪ Don't just stand there ♪
♪ Let's get to it ♪
♪ Strike a pose ♪
♪ There's nothing to it ♪
♪ Vogue ♪
[laughter]
♪ Vogue, vogue, vogue ♪
♪ Go with the flow ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ You've got to ♪
- It is so intense
watching this
because they're both
very high-energy performers.
It's tough to call.
I don't know who's going
to take this.
- ♪ You've got to just ♪
♪ Vogue, vogue, vogue, vogue ♪
[cheers and applause]
- Ladies, I have made
my decision.
Milan...
shantay, you stay.
You may join the other girls.
Kenya Michaels, for a little
queen, you pack a big punch.
And now the world knows
you're a knockout.
Now...sashay away.
- Thank you.
- I love you.
- I'm not sad, really.
For me, the RuPaul's Drag Race
is an amazing experience.
All the Puerto Rican people,
be proud of my work.
I'm a champion.
- My crazy eights,
condragulations.
Remember, if you can't
love yourself,
how in the hell are you gonna
love somebody else?
Can I get an amen in here?
all: Amen.
- All right,
now let the music play.
04x05 - Snatch Game
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
RuPaul plays the role of host, mentor, and head judge for this series, as contestants are given different challenges each week.
RuPaul plays the role of host, mentor, and head judge for this series, as contestants are given different challenges each week.