04x06 - Float Your Boat

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on

RuPaul's Drag Race...

Ladies, the password is...

Snatch Game.

[cheers and applause]

I might not be the biggest

star here,

but I got the biggest

knockers, okay?

[guffaws]

- I just want to say to

Lady Gaga that I am the only

boss here.

- This was a real heavy

Diana Ross.

- [imitates fart]

- Oh, my goodness.

- I don't know why they book me

on these chickenshit gigs.

- Condragulations.

You are the winner of this

challenge.

[applause]

It's very important for you to

understand we're looking for

the top.

Bring your "A" game.

- I will.

- Milan, shante, you stay.

Kenya Michaels, sashay away.

[cheers and applause]

And tonight...

oh, oh, oh, oh.

The dolls get wet.

And wild.

Ohhh!

With extra-special guest judges

NCIS star Pauley Perrette and

Kelly Osbourne.

The winner of

RuPaul's Drag Race

will receive a lifetime supply

of NYX Cosmetics,

a one-of-a-kind trip courtesy of

alandchuck.travel, headline

logo's Drag Race tour featuring

Absolut Vodka, cocktails

perfected, and a cash prize of

$100,000.

And may the best woman win.

- I'm getting the hangers.

- Oh.

- We're back in the workroom

this morning, and Kenya's not

here anymore, and it's sad,

'cause my best friend's gone.

- "Phi phi, I love you.

Sisters forever."

all: Aww.

- You sent both of

the Puerto Rican girls home.

- I know.

- You ain't never gonna be

in West Side Story again.

[laughter]

Not even a touring production,

bitch.

- Oh, my gosh.

- Uh-uh.

- Bye, Kenya. I love you.

Uh! This hurts.

- Things got emotional

on the runway last week.

Today we've had a little time,

you know, to heal up, refocus.

I'm so, so happy that I won

the Snatch Game.

It was almost overshadowed by

how sad we were,

and it was hard

for me to celebrate, but I did

celebrate yesterday.

[laughter]

- I'll be honest.

I felt like my drag was

misunderstood.

Like, I'm so across the board.

I like to teeter-totter in the

boy world.

- I think teeter-tottering in

the boy world works when you're

super feminine.

It's hard for a drag queen to

teeter-totter in the boy world

while still being that drag.

- I have always had to deal

with people's perception of what

drag is, but I have to remain

true to myself.

I'm not gonna compromise.

- We know that you are

an accomplished actor.

Now, were those tears real,

Willam?

- Those were real, yeah.

I can cry on cue, but I wouldn't

have cried ugly like that.

- She was acting.

That was not real.

This bitch is faking it.

- My lashes were falling off.

- I didn't know Satan could

cry.

[alarm wails]

all: Ooh.

Here we go.

- Ooh, girl, you got shemail.

Greetings.

My name's RuPaul, and I'll be

your cruise director.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you...

to make waves.

Okay?

Big waves.

Holla!

'Cause sometimes to avoid being

stonewalled, a girl's got to

rock the boat.

all: What?

- I don't get it.

- Hello, hello, hello.

[together]

Good morning, Ru.

Hello, Ru.

- Now, you all have been working

so hard that I've decided to

give you a break.

A spring break.

[cheers and applause]

- Tramp stamps.

- Today's mini challenge is

your chance to soak in the sun

and let it all hang out

in an all-American wet T-shirt

contest.

- [howls]

[applause]

- Now, just outside is a thirsty

crowd of spring breakers.

Each of you needs to "wet" their

appetite, wearing a Glamazon

T-shirt and a pair of your new

bosom buddies...silicone

breastplates courtesy of

boobsforqueens.com.

And the queen that gets the

biggest reaction from the crowd

will win.

[cheers and applause]

Jelly.

- This is money in the bank.

I got this.

- You have 30 minutes to style

and stuff your T-shirts.

I'll see you outside.

Let's go.

- Boobs!

- Holy moly.

- Show me your tits.

- Playing girlyish and bouncy

and sexy is something really

foreign to me.

- What and what and where is

the body, baby?

- My look is, "God, I want to

"go to Miami, but I can only

afford Fort Lauderdale."

- Mama Chad looks like a MILF.

Chad, damn.

It's called Forever 21,

not Forever 41.

- Let's go to the beach.

[cheers and applause]

[whistle blows]

- Welcome to spring break at

Dragtona Beach.

[cheers and applause]

Are you ready to get wet

and wild?

First up, from The Big Apple,

London, Paris...Milan.

She's got two big apples.

Oh.

She not shy.

She is mopping the floor.

Chad Michaels.

Oh, oh, drop it like it's hot.

- My tits are big, my hair is

big, and my ass looks good.

I'm just feeling like

a drag cougar.

- It's Jiggly Caliente.

Her milkshake brings all the

boys to the yard.

Touch all of this, Jiggly.

Sharon Needles.

[laughs]

- I'm not one of those

fishy queens.

I never want to create a

character that someone would

want to f*ck.

I like to mock sexiness.

[exclamations]

- She's a regular Danny Thomas

with that spit take.

Phi Phi O'Hara!

Uh-oh.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, ouch, ouch, ouch.

- I was shaking my boobs, and

all of a sudden my boobs

came off.

- She's coming undone.

- And then they poured

the water,

and then all of a sudden,

my wig fell off,

and it was a mess.

- Phi Phi, do you have all your

body parts?

[laughter]

Willam, Hollywood honey.

Oh, squirt. Squirt it.

I hope that lotion's

waterproof.

- I feel amazing,

because I know I look great.

And I was serving 'em sex,

and I just soaked it up.

- Oh, my God, she's driving

the crowd crazy.

She's a dirty, dirty girl,

that Willam.

Everything tastes good on

a Dida Ritz.

She's soaking wet.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Chocolate milk.

Put your hands together for

Latrice Royale.

You need some cooling down,

girl.

Oh!

- You know my alter ego is

a stripper.

I'm loving every bit of it.

- Give it up for

Latrice Royale.

Thank you, Latrice.

You were all wet and wild.

Damn!

One of y'all really worked

the crowd into a lather.

Can I get a drumroll?

[drumroll]

The titular winner of today's

mini challenge is...

Willam.

- Yeah!

- Yes.

- I won; you know, it's kind of

a hobby of mine.

Thank you, God,

for all this bod.

- Condragulations, Willam.

Spring break 2012!

Now that spring break is over,

it's time for a little

herstory lesson.

Back in 1969, at the Stonewall

riots, it was a drag queen who

had the charisma, uniqueness,

nerve, and talent to dig her

heels in and start a revolution.

And every year since, drag

queens have been the shining

stars of pride celebrations

around the world.

For this week's main challenge,

you'll be styling

a fashion-forward look for our

very own pride parade.

Now, the theme for this year's

pride is hope floats.

In addition to your outfits,

you'll need to design parade

floats using these colorful

accessories.

[laughter]

Ships ahoy.

Each of you will be assigned

a different boat based on the

eight colors of the original

rainbow flag.

Willam, you won the mini

challenge, so you get to assign

the color themes,

using these hankies.

- I want blue.

Indigo blue.

I think this is the fairest way

to do it.

- Jiggly gets orange.

Phi Phi gets violet.

Dida gets red.

Turquoise for Latrice.

Pink for Chad Michaels.

Yellow for Milan.

And green for Sharon needles.

Now, ladies, you can use your

own drag, plus materials

provided by Michael Levine

fabrics.

Your ensemble needs to be super

chic and take pride over the

rainbow and on to the runway.

Gentlemen, start your engines.

And may the best woman win.

- Yay.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, look, shamrocks.

- This might buckle

my runway game.

- Your walk is your everything.

I don't know about that.

- Give it to me.

Give me Gautier

in a boat stripe.

- This is the ugliest color

ever.

- I love orange.

- It doesn't look good on me.

I went from baked potato to

sweet potato.

- Jiggly, what are you doing?

What is the concept of your

costume?

- As of right now,

I have no clue.

I'm not good at the creative

stuff.

This is the challenge where I

could sink to hell.

I want to incorporate this

somehow.

But then I just don't want it to

look like a Thanksgiving float.

And it's gonna look like

a turkey.

- Yeah, you don't want to look

like a turkey.

You don't want that to happen.

- f*ck, I'm screwed.

- Today our main challenge is,

we have to create

a Pride Parade float

with a matching outfit

in one of the colors

from the Pride flag.

- Originally, for the old

gay rainbow flag,

green stood for nature.

There's nothing natural

about me.

- You made a snake.

Are you doing a Garden of Eden

theme boat?

- Um, more like a Medusa.

Like, "Look at me, and I'll turn

you into Stonewall."

- Oh, yeah.

- So who here knows what

Stonewall is?

- Stonewall was in June of '69,

and the cops decided to go in

and cause some trouble.

- They were just, you know,

giving this one particular bar

all kinds of hell.

They just put their foot down.

They weren't gonna take it

anymore.

- I heard if you wore women's

clothing or makeup, they would

douse your head in the mop

buckets of nightclubs.

- Wow.

- You had to wear at least

three articles

of clothing that

were assigned to your genders

at all time,

or you could be arrested.

- I grew up in a religious

household, and that being gay

was just not something that

was accepted.

But this challenge does help me

rethink my perspective, because

it makes me very proud to know

that other queens have paved

the way.

- Chad, what was it like

to be there?

You were, what, 29 at the time?

[laughter]

- Okay.

I think for everybody to know

where we came from.

A legacy of drag deserves

to be carried on.

Me and Bob used to just

sit around for hours

and just glue sequins

onto dresses.

Bob's no stranger to a glue g*n

in a pinch.

- That whole impersonating thing

you have to really do

your homework

to get every nuance,

ever characteristic.

- You do.

Celebrity impersonation

is my passion.

And it has been

from the beginning,

because when I started

in my show, the Dreamgirls,

it was all look-alikes

and all comedy,

and if you wanted to be

in the show,

you had to do

celebrity impersonations.

- Wow.

- I'm absolutely here

to be a role model.

This art doesn't have to die,

because it is dying.

There aren't very many people

like me anymore who do,

like, actual

"celebrity impersonation."

That's what I've done

for most of my career

is be a celebrity impersonator,

and I've loved it.

rock it out.

I've been, you know,

in the business a while.

I want to inspire the younger

generation of drag queens

to step up and do it right.

- [blowing]

[spits]

f*cking swallowed glitter.

- You've swallowed worse.

We're gonna have dinner soon.

Stop eating the glitter.

- Stupid-ass bitch.

- g*dd*mn it, Jiggly.

- f*ck you.

- Oh, my God.

I love my boat already.

I want to go on my boat so bad.

- You f*cking c**t.

- [laughs]

I decide to do all-over pattern

of stars, or stickers, that have

my face on them.

The theme is hope floats, and

I've always hoped to be a star.

- That's you?

- Yes, it's me.

- You dirty bitch.

- Narcissistic much?

- Willam's boat was covered

in stickers of himself

and to me did not represent

Pride at all.

- How are you feeling

about this challenge?

- This is not something

that I normally do,

and I'm really...I'm trying

to focus on the boat first

and make sure I get

something down for that.

Trying to do what I can.

Sink or swim.

Sink or swim.

The most difficult thing

about the challenge for me is,

my brain goes in 20 million

different directions.

Sometimes being an artist

can be difficult.

- Here's your micro-dot, babe.

- Oh, sh*t.

I didn't realize that.

The clock was ticking,

and all I could think about was,

"Try to convey some type

of message on this float."

- Hello, hello, hello.

all: Hi, Ru.

- It looks like

a Kylie Minogue concert

exploded in here.

- [chuckles]

- Jiggly Caliente.

- Hello.

- May I call you Jiggly?

- Yes, you may.

- Oh, good.

What we're looking for is

fashion-forward.

You know,

the theme is hope floats.

What statement are you going

to make?

- I...the statement I want to

make is that, um...

dreams are possible.

- Huh.

Now, what are your plans to

decorate your boat?

- Um, I plan on adding the

trimmings, the fabrics, and then

I'm gonna add the flowers and

other knickknacks.

- Yeah.

- Ru is not buying my bullshit

at this.

I know it.

I can see it in her eyes.

- I don't want to worry you,

but you do seem a little bit

behind.

We're looking for an expression

of Jiggly.

- Definitely.

- All right.

Get back to work.

- Thank you.

- How am I gonna do this?

- Dida Ritz.

- Hi, Ru.

- So what are you gonna do?

- I'm going for a '70s

really hippie vibe.

Very love, peace, and harmony.

And my whole concept

is a jumpsuit.

- With a blouse.

- Maybe with a blouse,

maybe not.

I don't know yet.

- We're looking to see the best

Dida that there is.

We want fashion-forward,

you know?

- Mm-hmm.

- I'll see you out

on the parade route.

- Thank you, Ru.

- Good luck.

Hi, Chad.

- It's time for another edition

of Ru's Clues.

- [laughs]

What are you gonna do

to make sure that your boat

and your costume and everything

represents hope

and the future of gay pride?

- I really want it to be,

you know, cyber showgirl,

fashion-forward.

- Now, you're boat.

- My boat.

- You've got a lot

going on there.

You have netting around there.

- I have netting.

I'm capturing hearts and minds

with my net.

- Are you planning to edit

the boat at all?

- I feel like it's got

a really futuristic feel to it

with, you know...

- The metallic.

- The metallic and the square,

like,

faux sequin and all that.

- I can't wait to see it

on the runway.

- I'll be there.

- All right, Chad.

You get back to work,

Lady Chad-erly.

- All right, bye.

- Bye.

- Well, well, well, Willam.

- It's starship Willam.

- Wow.

- In your book you had a quote

that said,

"Even when I was down,

"I treated myself as

a star.

And eventually, the rest of

the world would catch up."

And I wrote that on my little

binder in eighth grade.

I've adopted that theory too.

I've always treated myself like

a star and just knew it was

gonna happen.

- We got on your case last week

about being more vulnerable, and

that story's very vulnerable.

And what do you plan on wearing

if anything?

- Do you remember that episode

of Sex and the City

where Carrie

fell down on the runway?

- Yes.

- Dolce & Gabbana coat.

Oh, well, look who's got it.

- Is that the exact one?

- It's not the one she wore.

- I see.

- Because, you know, she's so

much bigger than me.

- [laughs]

I'm gonna let you get back

to work here.

Bye.

London, Paris, Milan.

- Hi, Ru.

- So tell me about this boat.

- My inspiration for this,

honestly, I mean, we're doing a

future thing, but I wanted to

try to do a flashback

to the future.

- A flashback to the future.

- Yes.

- But we're asking you to be

fashion-forward.

Now, you live in New York city,

the most fashionable city...

- I do.

- In the U.S.

Where do your costumes

come from?

- Um, usually I have people

make them for me.

- I see.

- 'Cause a lot of my costumes

are characters,

like the housewife or that looks

like the lady next-door.

- You don't want the audience

to know who you are.

You want them to see

a character.

But we want to know who you are.

- No, I definitely want them to

know who I am.

- Because you have lip-synched

twice.

- I have.

- Make that Milan come out.

- Okay.

- Get back to work.

- Thank you.

- All right.

Phi Phi O'Hara.

- Hi, Ru.

- How are ya?

- I'm good. How are you?

- Good.

So what are you working on?

- I have a one-armed catsuit

right now.

- Is that Uranus on...

- It is my-ranus.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

- The theme is hope floats.

I want to know about your

darkest hour and how you were

able to get over that.

- Well, as a kid, I had...I grew

up in a really abusive, like,

household.

And it wasn't a very good

childhood.

And it took 16 years for us to

figure it out, but we did.

It feels good to leave all that

stuff back there.

Chicago's a fresh start for me.

I get to live the life that

I want to live.

- So you've come a long way,

baby.

You've pulled yourself up out

of some really dark places.

This is your chance to shine.

I'm counting on you to pull

through.

- Okay.

- Okay, you've done it before.

You can do it again.

- I will.

- All right. Get to work.

- Yes.

- All right.

At ease.

- All right, ladies,

gather round.

Tomorrow on the main stage,

we'll be celebrating Pride with

our extra-special guest judges,

fashionista and TV star, my good

pal Kelly Osbourne will be here.

- Oh, my God.

Yay.

[cheers and applause]

- I love Kelly Osbourne.

Even to even get read by her,

I don't care.

It's an honor.

She's sickening.

- And a woman who's no stranger

to the navy.

From NCIS, Pauley Perrette

will be here.

- Oh, yes, ma'am.

[applause]

- Wow.

- How many times did you work

with her, Willam?

- Just once, so f*ck off.

[laughter]

- Now, ladies, remember...it

ain't the size of your boat but

the motion in your ocean, okay?

- Okay.

- Good luck.

And don't f*ck it up.

- Yes, ma'am.

- Okay. All right.

- See you later.

- Thanks, Ru.

- Bye.

- Arts and crafts day.

- Our challenge today is to make

fabulous fashion-forward

outfits and gay pride floats.

So with challenge,

you have to have a crafty eye,

and you have to be creative with

your float and your costume.

This competition

is really gonna show

who can keep up

with the big girls.

f*cking sh*t.

f*ck.

- I did it all wrong.

f*ck.

- Oh, my God.

Now I just f*cked it up.

- But that's pretty.

Girl, you're gonna win.

- You can kiss my ass.

- [laughs]

- Ugh.

It is very hard to create an

outfit from scratch in a day and

decorate a boat.

It's damn near impossible.

My God, this making a boat crap

is just...is not the type of

dress...

all righty.

- You okay?

- No.

- She doesn't know her idea

for her boat.

- You have a bunch of stuff over

there,

and you have a lot

of good stuff too.

Open stuff up.

Look at the textures.

Look at all that stuff

and just play with it.

Jiggly's just out of her element

being on this competition.

She is so far behind, and it's

just like, "Girl, just get your

crap done."

- The hardest part about this

challenge is not telling

everybody else that I'm gonna

win.

- Wow, that is really cool.

- Yeah, I mean, it looks

egotistical,

but it's got a message,

like, "I'm gonna handle myself

like I'm gonna be

somebody someday."

- You're sickening, bitch.

You're sickening.

- Sickening?

More like absolutely disgusting.

- Really?

- Yeah, bitch.

- Thank you.

- So has anybody ever done,

like, pride performances or

pride shows?

- Bitch, I put my gay pride

time in, honey.

In my years.

- In Pittsburgh, they don't

ask me ever to do Pride.

I mean, maybe they just think

my act is reserved

for nighttime only.

- Maybe it's because she's

a spooky bitch.

- I like spotlights,

not sunlight.

- What was it like for you guys

in your hometowns

growing up being gay?

- I'm from Texas, so Texas is

not about the whole

being gay thing.

I remember, when I first went

out to the gay clubs, there was

a lot of, like, gay bashing,

and, like, guys would come by

with, like, baseball bats.

Like, moving to Chicago, I can

hold someone's hand walking down

the street or I can be

affectionate.

And In Texas, you can't do that.

- Damn.

- It's kind of hard

for me to talk about it.

I don't really like

where I come from.

I don't...it is not

a lot of good memories.

I was teased a lot

when I was young.

I hate talking about it,

'cause it makes me just pissed.

Like, the people that called me

a fat girl,

some of them still work...

no shade...

but still work at McDonald's,

still work at Burger King,

still living at home

with their parents,

ain't got a life.

Home is not a good memory

for me.

- Theresa,

I knew you grew up in Compton.

- Ugh.

- What was that like?

- You don't even think about

saying the world "gay"

or that you're gay.

It's straight-up hood there.

You know what I mean?

So I was threatened

and b*at up and told

if I was ever...turned out gay,

I would get k*lled,

and it was rough.

So I just kept all that

to myself

until I was big enough

and bold enough

and grown enough to move.

And so I did, you know,

and...

- Is the New York drag

community all in Manhattan?

- The New York drag community

is sort of everywhere.

Definitely certain areas where

there's certain drags

you can see.

There's the singing girls,

there's the campy girls, there's

the grunge girls...

- So what are you?

Like, what's your...

- I'm a floater.

My style kind of bounces around.

I don't want to be pigeonholed

as just a drag "queen."

I think it's important for

people to see that there is

an artist on stage.

- I have dignity looks and

paycheck looks.

Dignity is when I will not bend

for anyone, and I don't care if

I make a dollar.

I'm doing what I'm doing.

- Right.

- And there's times the

electric's about to shut off,

so I dress up like Lady Gaga.

- Right.

[laughter]

- Jiggly, is that a men's shirt

or a women's shirt?

Your hanger strap is showing,

and I already know the answer.

- No, it's not.

- You cross-dresser!

We're supposed to be boys today,

and you're cross-dressing.

- Really, girl? Really?

Her slick-ass comments are gonna

drive me crazy.

- ♪ Watching my boat ♪

- Shut up.

- You shut up.

- Ugly bitch.

- You shut your ugly boat

mouth.

- Oh, you have something to

say, bitch?

- Yeah, your boat's ugly.

- You narcissistic whore.

- Your boat's ugly.

- I don't care.

My boat could be ugly, bitch.

- But your face is ugly.

- Your boat don't float.

Your boat don't float.

- Come here and say that,

bitch, 'cause I will inject this

sh*t right in your cheeks,

ho.

- Ohh, don't talk to me like

Chad Michaels.

You know how passionate he is

about silicone work.

- [as Cher]

Shut up, stupid.

Willam runs his mouth a lot.

It's kind of like a spigot you

can't turn off.

And it started to get on my

nerves.

I'm Cher, bitch.

- You guys, you know what my

boat reminds me of?

- What?

- A winner.

[laughter]

♪ My boat is the best ♪

♪ My boat is pretty ♪

- Selfish bitch,

learn your words.

You will be in the bottom two.

- ♪ I want some breasts ♪

- Bitch.

[alarm goes off]

- Anchors aweigh, b*tches.

- Cluck-cluck, ladies.

- So much to do.

- Let's get to work.

- I was having panic att*cks

about this damn snake.

- The mood in the workroom

right now is intense.

Queens are hustling,

people gluing, going crazy.

It's insane right now

in the workroom.

- Does this look like a f*cking

anchor yet?

I ended up with the final

concept for my boat last minute.

Now I just got to finish it.

Sharon?

- Yeah?

- Does this look like an anchor?

- It kind of looks like

a d*ck.

- It does look like a penis.

- What's the theme of your

boat?

- The whole, "It gets better,

love you for you,"

very Saint-Tropez.

Bright colors.

Very Saint-Tropez.

So I'm just, like,

scrambling for time.

- Jiggly's is still a mess.

She kept adding crap upon crap

on top of more crap, so it just

looked like a big pile of crap.

- I'm just gonna try to go for

obvious things...sunlight,

yellow, you know, happiness.

- Right.

- I'm gonna get a little grade

school at moments.

- There ain't gonna be nothing

about grade school on my boat.

My boat's gonna be an all-adult

function.

- If I would have made Milan's

boat, I wouldn't have put

The Milan Invasion on it.

I would have blamed it on

someone else.

Like, "I didn't do this boat.

No, this is her boat.

That girl's boat, not my boat."

- I'm looking around the room,

and I'm in drag, everybody else

is practically done and in drag,

and Jiggly's still stapling and

gluing stuff to her float, and

I'm like, "Hello, you only have,

"like, minutes left until you've

got to be in drag and on that

runway."

- It's sink or swim.

You better be ready,

and you better care.

- Jiggly is a hot mess.

Good luck, girl.

- Oh, sh*t.

Where the f*ck are my tits?

- Welcome to the main stage of

RuPaul's Drag Race.

Hey, guys.

- Hey, gorgeous.

- Hi.

- Michelle Visage, are you

proud of our girls?

- I am proud to be an American,

and I am proud of our girls.

- [laughs]

Billy B., are you ready to see

our girls?

- I am so ready.

- Kelly Osbourne.

- Hi, Ru.

- You've been grand marshal

of Gay Pride here in

Los Angeles.

- Yes, with my mama.

- Well, you'll feel right at

home here.

- I already do.

- Pauley Perrette,

welcome aboard.

- Thank you.

Happy to be here.

- I love a parade.

Don't you?

- Yes.

- This week our queens were

challenged to design Pride

floats.

Now they're ready to parade

them down the runway.

Are you ready to see their true

colors?

- Hell, yeah.

- Gentlemen, start your

engines,

and may the best woman win.

- ♪ Welcome to the jungle ♪

♪ ♪

- Chad Michaels. Ahoy.

- Glamorous.

- She's showboating.

- My outfit is fashion-forward

showgirl...always beautiful,

always painted, nearly naked.

- Starbooty!

- She's serving the deadliest

catch...

- Snapper.

- Dida Ritz in red.

Oh, I love a harem pant.

- I'm serving float

coutureness.

I'm not letting this boat get

in my way.

I always leave my mark.

Honey, I pee on the runway.

Trust.

- Red sky at night,

sailors' delight.

Nice aft.

Up next, Jiggly Caliente in my

favorite color, orange.

- Tangerine dream.

- Yes.

- I look good.

My wrap is flowing.

My hair's flowing.

My makeup is right.

My lips look right.

I look sickening, bitch.

- Mm, it reminds me of

Orange Julius.

Or is it Lrange Jiggly-us.

Milan.

- Hello, sunshine.

- I'm feeling proud of what

I created.

My float is The Milan Invasion.

It's inspired by Fire Island.

- Boatload of wigs.

- It's nice to have extra wigs,

though.

- It is, 'cause, if you end up

on Gilligan's Island and you

want to do shows, well...

- Hello.

- Yeah.

- Ooh, Sharon Needles.

- She is from the

Garden of Eden.

- Does her snake have one eye

or two?

- I was really serving them

some snake realness.

I can strike at any time.

- Oh, oh, oh, oh.

I love!

- Latrice Royale in turquoise.

- The goddess of the sea.

- Wow.

Look at all that water.

- I just want it all to hang

out today.

I have this hair that I baked

and sculpted and hand-painted.

- Love those lips.

- She fell face-first at

Claire's.

- [laughs]

- Now that is a Poseidon

adventure.

- Willam.

Oh, dear.

She's a low rider.

- Check that out.

- Dropping anchor.

Land ho.

- Oh, my God.

Permission to come aboard.

- Ooh, girl, I'm dusted.

- My costume's right,

my body's right.

This challenge is right up my

lagoon.

- She's showing us her

starboard side.

Stick it in the porthole,

Willam.

- Phi Phi O'Hara.

- Like a float warrior.

- Ooh, love is a battleship.

- My look I'm channeling is

fashion-forward sci-fi.

I'm trying to give them

a bad-ass bitch.

- It's the Phi-Phi-tanic.

- She's going down with

the ship.

- Love it.

- Purple for passion.

My colorful queens,

I love a parade.

But now it's time

for the judges' critiques.

First up, Chad Michaels.

And what does your float say

about you?

- Obviously, with the stripes

on my costume

and the stripes on my boat,

I'm a drag cougar.

- [laughs]

- Rrargh.

I basically wanted to go with

classic showgirl,

but fashion-forward.

- Can you turn around so I can

see your butt, please?

That's my favorite part of your

whole costume.

I love it.

- Thank you.

- To me, it is traditionally

showgirl.

There's not something so fresh

and modern about it.

- Next up, Dida Ritz.

Wow, and your hair is all big

and everything.

- Take a little bit of advice

and put it to use.

- You have the cutest face.

So adorable.

- You do have a pretty face.

Sometimes I think that you might

rely on it too much.

What you have on,

it's not particularly an event.

You always seem sort of

pedestrian.

- Your boat, it looks a little

bit pinata-like.

You know, you want more.

It is a parade.

- Jiggly Caliente.

Tell us about your float.

- Right now, there's a lot of

gay youth being bulled.

I decided to use "Love you for

you."

I wanted to class it up a bit,

make it very Saint-Tropez.

'cause my outfit is really

a swimsuit.

- Oh, wow.

- Oh, yeah.

- Very Saint-Tropez.

- I'm really happy you took

your cape off.

I was dying to see what was

underneath there,

and it's adorable.

- It's the big reveal.

- You should have walked

the runway without the cape.

The boat, you said you wanted to

give it some class.

It's, like, sixth-grade class.

- Ugh.

- Next up, London, Paris,

Milan.

- Basically I wanted to

represent the history

of the

drag performance invasion on

Fire Island with the girls who

have long passed who have paved

the way for me to go forward in

the future.

And I named it

The Milan Invasion,

because it's me,

and I'm invading the world.

- I know all about Fire Island.

The thing is, the boat didn't

really read that.

It was hard to understand.

- You know, everyone else sort

of had a real message about

pride, and the biggest thing

about your boat is that you made

it about you.

It sort of offended me.

- Sharon Needles.

You've got a little snake story

line going on there, don't you?

- The original green color in

the rainbow flag stood for

nature.

- Yeah.

- 'Cause all gays were hippies

in the '70s.

[laughter]

I used the snake because they're

feared for the wrong reasons.

And I've always been feared for

the wrong reasons.

- I'm so into your hand snake.

- My hand works great on

a snake.

- I think you look beautiful.

Your boat on the other hand

looks like it sank a few years

ago and it's covered in moss.

It sort of lost boat to me.

It just became this big green

thing.

- All right, next up,

Latrice Royale.

Lady turqu-ahh.

- I love anything that

sparkles, and you sparkle from

head to toe, and I love it.

- My lips are gonna cr*ck.

- Tonight you're giving us

Nefertiti meets Ursula

the sea witch.

- Yes!

- I'm gonna challenge you on

one thing, Latrice.

- Tell me.

- The boots.

- [sighs]

- Girl, we seen 'em quite a bit

now.

- Are you saying those boots

weren't made for boating?

[laughter]

- You really are an event.

It's a beautiful, simple boat,

and it has a chicness that you

always seem to have.

It's a good job.

- Thank you.

- Next up, Willam.

- I'm giving you maritime

realness with the starship

Willam.

[laughter]

Amenities include Wi-Fi.

There's a party deck and

a business center.

[laughter]

- Why is Pride important?

- I got married in California

when it was legal, and then now,

all of a sudden, it's not.

Prop 8 got my ass down hard.

So I love that I got to do

a Pride challenge, and this is

Dolce & Gabbana, so I love it.

- So the coat is Dolce, and

the swimsuit is Gaultier.

It's chic, it's fashionable,

it's modern.

The boat looks like it was

professionally done even.

You give very good mast-head.

[laughter]

- And P.S.,

f*ck you for

having the most amazing body

ever.

[laughter]

- Thank you, house of Willam.

All right, up next,

Phi Phi O'Hara.

- I just thought purple warrior

princess when you came out.

- I love your boat a lot.

I love the way you coordinated

the outfit with the boat.

And your makeup...you're on

the right track.

- I think you're like a

long-lost Kardashian sister.

You're so beautiful.

- Thank you.

- My one critique is just watch

out for your body shape still.

Right, if you're gonna be wide

there, then you got to give us

more hips, so just pay attention

to it, but you look stunning

tonight, baby.

Keep this up.

- Okay. I will.

- All right, ladies, I think

we've heard enough.

Now, while you untuck in

the interior illusions lounge,

the judges and I will

deliberate.

You may leave the stage.

Now, just between us girls,

what do you think?

Latrice Royale.

- Latrice, I think,

is the real deal.

The boat was very chic...

- The makeup was truly artwork.

Those friggin' boots.

- Oh, my God, they're like

Goth lesbian hiking boots.

I will burn them.

- All right, let's move on.

Phi Phi O'Hara.

- Before, I had a problem with

the makeup every single time.

Today was the best that it's

been.

- She is listening, and I think

the more we critique her,

the more she'll get it.

- On down the line we go to

Jiggly.

- I would have loved all of it

had she taken her cape off.

It looked like a tent.

- It almost looked like she was

walking in a straitjacket.

- It's because she could barely

fit in the boat.

- How very dare you?

- What?

- Big is beautiful.

- Love Jiggly.

Tonight it was an epic fail.

- Chad Michaels,

the pink cougar.

- Chad can do no wrong, but,

see, now I'm starting to have

a problem with that.

I want to see Chad be human

and not robotic.

- I have to agree with you.

I would like to see her a little

bit more messy.

- Sharon Needles.

- My mother's maiden name.

- Your mother's maiden name is

Needles?

- Sharon Needles.

- [laughs]

- I loved her whole snake

thing.

- She's very H.R. Pufnstuf.

[laughter]

- I love the fact that she,

like,

she didn't have perfect hair.

It was a bit messy.

All the stuff that we don't like

about Sharon Needles we love

about Chad, and all the stuff we

don't like about Chad we love

about Sharon Needles, so they

need to kind of, like, take tips

from each other.

- All right, Milan.

- I think she thinks she's

more real than she really is.

- Like, she don't need padding.

- Exactly.

- And her body language is

totally "dude in a dress."

- If she lip-synchs tonight and

that wig comes off,

stop it already.

- Right.

- All right, all right, Willam.

- Does anyone really look like

that?

My God.

- How dare they have better

legs than me!

How very dare they!

- Now, Billy, you really liked

the design of the float.

- It was so well done.

It wasn't as vulgar as Milan 's

was.

- The fact that she got out of

it and then made a performance

out of it was also very

entertaining as well.

- Dida Ritz.

- The outfit was very

pedestrian, very mall-like.

- If Dida didn't wear a T-shirt,

I would be saying something

completely different.

- Right.

- Does she deserve to be in the

bottom two

because of the T-shirt?

- Yeah!

- A T-shirt is half your outfit.

- She was the only one up there

with a camel toe.

- Hello!

- Very hot.

- I didn't go there.

[laughter]

- You always have to go there,

darling.

Especially when they're tucking.

[laughter]

- Silence!

I've made my decision.

Bring back...

my girls.

Welcome back, ladies.

It was the late, great drag

queen and civil rights pioneer

Marsha P. Johnson who fought

back when the police raided

Stonewall.

To honor her legacy, it's up to

you to keep on breaking through.

Based on your pride-filled

presentations, I've made some

decisions.

Chad Michaels, you're safe.

- Thank you.

- Latrice Royale...

You're safe.

- Thank you.

- Sharon Needles...

you're safe.

- Thank you.

- Willam, you navigated this

challenge beautifully, and we

were swept away.

Condragulations, you are

the winner of this challenge.

[applause]

You will receive a cruise,

courtesy of alandchuck.travel.

- I'm okay with that.

- [laughs]

- It feels correct to win.

When it's right, it's right.

Yes, girl!

- Phi Phi O'Hara...

you're safe.

- Thank you.

- Jiggly Caliente...

your message was uplifting,

but your float left us with

a sinking feeling.

I'm sorry, my dear, but you are

up for elimination.

- f*ck.

I cannot go this far and get

sent home.

Are you f*cking kidding me?

- Dida Ritz, you're just

finding your sea legs, but has

the ship already sailed?

Milan, you set a course for

fabulous, but your message got

lost at sea.

Dida Ritz...

I'm throwing you a lifeline.

You're safe.

- Thank you.

- Milan, my dear, I'm sorry,

but you are up for elimination.

- Ugh, I'm in the bottom again.

But when it's time for me to

bring it, I want to bring it.

Because it's a competition and

I'm here to win.

- Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance

to impress me and save yourself

from elimination.

The time has come for you to

lip-synch for your life.

Good luck,

and don't f*ck it up.

- It doesn't matter if you

love him or capital H-I-M.

♪ ♪

♪ My mama told me ♪

♪ When I was young ♪

♪ We are all born superstars ♪

♪ So hold your head up, girl ♪

♪ And you'll go far ♪

♪ Listen to me when I say ♪

♪ I'm beautiful in my way ♪

♪ 'Cause God makes

no mistakes ♪

♪ I'm on the right track,

baby ♪

♪ I was born this way ♪

- I'm feeling ferocious.

I'm ready to att*ck.

I'm giving them 110%.

- ♪ I was born this way ♪

♪ Born this way ♪

♪ Ooh, there ain't ♪

no other way ♪

- Jiggly is working it.

She is feeling herself down.

She's trying to save her ass

right now.

- ♪ Don't be a drag ♪

♪ Just be a queen ♪

[judges cheer]

♪ Left you outcast, bullied,

or teased ♪

♪ Rejoice and love yourself

today ♪

♪ 'Cause baby

you were born this way ♪

♪ No matter gay, straight,

or bi ♪

♪ Lesbian,

transgendered life ♪

- Milan, girl.

That's clearly a dude.

- ♪ I'm beautiful in my way ♪

♪ 'cause God makes no mistakes

♪

♪ I'm on the right track, baby

♪

♪ I was born this way ♪

- Baby, you were born this way.

- ♪ I'm on the right track,

baby ♪

- You were born...you were born

this way.

- ♪ I was born this wa-ay ♪

♪ I was born this wa-ay ♪

♪ I'm on the right track,

baby ♪

♪ I was born this wa-ay ♪

- Yeah!

[cheers and applause]

- Ladies...

I've made my decision.

Jiggly Caliente...

Shante, you stay.

Jiggly, you may join the other

girls.

- Thank you.

- London, Paris, Milan,

the world is calling.

Now, sashay away.

- Thank you.

It was my moment to stop, and so

now I take on the next journey.

Have fun.

Realize that your purpose here

is to be an ambassador, to teach

a message of hope and love,

and every now and then, be the

bitch out of the competition.

- My lucky seven.

Don't be a drag.

Just be a queen.

And, remember, if you can't love

yourself, how in the hell you

gonna love somebody else?

Can I get a amen up in here?

all: Amen.

- All right, now let the music

play.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪