07x05 - The DESPY Awards

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "RuPaul's Drag Race"...

You'll be creating your own
punny-or-die music video.

♪ I want to tan tan, tan with you
Gonna turn and burn, gonna turn and burn ♪

Cut. Trixie, why do you keep walking
in and out of the sh*t?

RuPaul and Michelle Visage think we're
a bunch of disorganized f*ck-tards.

Trixie, you are not standing out for me.

Pearl, come out of your shell.

I feel picked on, almost.

Kennedy Davenport, you are
the winner of this week's challenge.

Pearl, shantay, you stay.

Trixie Mattel, sashay away.

-Girl. Long day.
-Oh, my God, I have been through it today.

I am in complete shock. Trixie should be
here. This is a f*cking travesty.

Pearl, do you think the
judges' critiques were fair tonight?

I'm really just kind of over the judges.
I thought I gave great energy.

Back home, everybody loves me.

At first, I thought I was so sickening,
everyone would just be obsessed with me,

but obviously that's not the case.

Good riddance to this f*cking day.

-I didn't expect it to be Trixie.
-I gagged. I truly gagged.

The vibe around the workroom
is a little bit shocked.

This may sound like old lady bullshit
but after trying for this for seven years

and someone says, "f*ck this,"
that pisses me off.

Yeah.

Pearl, I'm sorry you didn't like
your criticisms, but buck up, buttercup.

Be grateful for the opportunity
that you have. Otherwise...

leave.

[car engine revving up]

The winner receives a year's supply
of Anastasia Beverly Hills Cosmetics,

and a cash price of $100,000.

With our extra special
guest judge, Isaac Mizrahi.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race, may the best woman,
best woman win ♪

[car braking]

[giggling]

Go. Go. Go.

What is wrong with y'all?

It is a new day in the workroom.
I'm excited.

Last week, I was safe.
I didn't come here to play it safe.

That ain't cute. At all.

-You look like a boy scout.
-Oh, me?

-I like it.
-Give him a pet name.

-Let's call her Scout.
-Well, God, what are we?

I would say Cardiac Arrest.

[laughter]

-Whooo.
-Uh-oh.

Oh, sh*t.

-Here we go.
-She done already done had herses.

For your consideration, whether
you're snatching wigs or trophies,

like this Marquette by Tweeterhead,
available online.

You better have one huge pair of
Golden Globes. Hope you win. Mean it!

-[car revving]
-[laughter]

-Hello, hello, hello.
-Hello.

Hi.

You know Drag Race viewers create
the most twisted fan art in the world.

One super fan blew everyone away

by recreating our queens'
hottest looks using only... paper.

Yeah. Paper.

For today's Mini-Challenge,
you'll be making your own paper versions

of classic celebrity red carpet outfits.

Now, you'll be working in pairs.
So based on how you lined up this morning,

teams are: Ginger Minj and Kandy Ho.

-Lil' Kim.
-Yay.

Jaidynn Diore Fierce and
Kennedy Davenport, Lady Gaga. [gasps]

-Pearl and Max, Cher.
-Ooh.

Mrs. Kasha Davis and Katya, Björk.

And Violet Chachki and Miss Fame,
Jennifer Lopez.

I'm paired up with Violet
and I'm the glass half-full.

She's like the empty beer bottle
that you find, like, next to the chair.

Oh, pit crew!

[RuPaul laughs]

I see the morning paper has arrived.

[laughter] Ooooh.

Oh, read all about it.

This is gonna be the best game
of frock, paper, scissors ever.

Go!

-Good?
-Yeah.

Hurry up, bitch. Tape this sh*t.

-You don't have to f*cking slap me.
-If I get the chance.

All right, time's up, ladies.

First up...

[laughter]

Ginger Minj and Kandy Ho.
Look at Lil' Kim.

It's from the line, I don't give a tit.

Whomp, whomp. I had
to do that. [laughter]

Next up, Jaidynn Diore Fierce and
Kennedy Davenport, Lady Gaga.

Yes, ma'am, wet and juicy
in all the right places.

The "steaks" are high, ladies.

[laughter]

Next up, Violet Chachki and Miss Fame.
"Jenny from the block".

Wow, Versace.

It's actually "Versnatch".

Turn around, J-Lo, let's see the backside.

You're not Jennifer Lopez!

[laughter]

Next up, Pearl and Max.
Dark lady.

No tramp or thief could steal
this custom couture.

Shut up, stupid.

[laughter]

Born naked and the rest is Bob Mackie.

Next up, re-creating the
infamous swan dress, Katya.

-And... is that Joan Rivers?
-What are you wearing?

Actually, I'm wearing a custom-made
Klein Epstein & Parker suit.

Stunning. And this next gal,
she's wearing a swan on her body

and a elephant on her ankles.

Now available on iTunes.

Björk flew all the way from Iceland
for this, and, boy, are her arms tired.

Yes. The rest of her looks tired, too.
Next thing, you'll look like Pearl, honey.

Good job, ladies. I've graded
your papers and the winning pair is...

Mrs. Kasha Davis and Katya.

I'm posting all of your
paper doll looks at logotv.com.

Ladies, you're all dressed up.
Now you need a place to go. Good news.

You're invited to the most prestigious
award show of the season,

girl! The first annual Despy Awards.

#SnatchingTrophies.

Working in your current pairs,
you'll be the presenters and nominees.

You'll need to come up with funny banter,
take jabs at your fellow nominees,

and if you win, you better have
an unforgettable acceptance speech.

Jaidynn Diore Fierce and Kennedy
Davenport present "Sexy, Sexy Drag Queen."

"Most Busted Queen,"
presented by Pearl and Max.

"The Shadiest Queen," presented by
Ginger Minj and Kandy Ho.

And, my favorite, "The Meatiest Tuck,"
presented by Violet Chachki and Miss Fame.

Kasha Davis and Katya, you won the
Mini-Challenge, you're our Despy co-hosts.

Now, to help you punch up your material,
Kathy Griffin is back.

-Yes, girl!
-Gentlemen,

start your engines
and may the best woman win.

So, Meatiest Tuck. Let's talk about that.

Miss Fame and I sit down and start writing
jokes and neither of us are comedy queens.

[music]

With Pearl, the only thing showing
outward emotion is between her legs.

-What do you think is funny?
-I don't know.

We're both drawing a blank. You're looking
at me looking at the paper.

-The words escape me.
-My ideas are

somewhat decent, and you're like, "No."

If you think it's funny then
present it in a comical way.

Fame and Violet, neither one of them have
really shown a whole lot of comedic value

in this competition yet. I'm interested to
see if they come up with any jokes at all.

This is stressing me out.
We've got to get it together.

I want to read everybody,
including ourselves.

For this week's challenge, we all have to
present at an award show, The Despies.

We have to write jokes and we have to
present them live in front of an audience.

I want to win.

-So, what's our game plan?
-What you got?

You got anything?

I know nothing about
award show stuff,

but we're gonna sit down
and write us some jokes.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are here to
present the Sexy, Sexy Drag Queen awards."

I'm very confident in doing comedy.

-"And the nominees are..."
-No.

I mean, I won last week's challenge.

No. No. Uh-uh. Don't write it like that.

In that order, right here,
"Back to the nominee."

-We need a transition, then we can leave.
-Hush.

I know she's a little bit irritated.
Without saying,

I think she was saying, "Oh, I wish
I was with somebody funnier."

Okay, well, I guess I'm gonna be quiet.

-Hey, kitty girl.
-Hi.

-Are you getting excited for the Despies?
-Oh, yeah.

-Hey, girls.
-Hello, darling.

You all are opening the show,
so there's extra pressure.

-Yes.
-But you've hosted shows before.

-Yes
-Who are you patterning your banter after?

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler
hosting the Golden Globes was...

-...perfection.
-Perfection.

So, that is
what I have in my mind.

Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis come up.
She says,"Who"?

-I'm educating this youngster.
-I'm not actually that young.

-But you're just...
-I'm just ignorant.

Well, listen, you kids
have a lot of work to do.

-We're looking at your big opening.
-No pressure.

-No.
-Alright, thank you.

-Hey, kitty girl.
-Hi, Ru!

Have either of you done comedy before?

-Never.
-Do you two have banter prepared or...

What's your chemistry like?

You know what? We're two
very different people. Um...

I had to think about working with
somebody like her.

She's dark-sided.

-If you can't b*at 'em, join 'em.
-We're brainstorming right now

and seeing what we can play off, you know,
and make it funny and twist it in...

a dark-sided kind of way.

Being dark-sided is one thing but being
funny is a completely different thing.

Violet and Fame...
Oh, that's gonna be a laugh riot.

-Hi.
-Hello.

-Now, you're a show host, aren't you?
-Yes, I host several shows around Orlando.

-And you? Is comedy in your background?
-If a joke comes out when I'm tipsy,

it just comes out, but
I am not, like, a funny girl.

So how are you gonna make it funny?

She'll throw shade at me
and I'll throw shade at her and...

Well, I just want to tell you, ladies,
it's important to create a moment.

That's what stands out. Think about
when Sally Fields won her second Oscar,

you don't remember anything about that
ceremony except her saying, "You like me,

-You really like me."
-Mm-hmm.

So do something special.

-Hey, ladies.
-Hello, darling.

-Hi, RuPaul.
-So, what award are you presenting?

We'll present
"Most Busted Drag Queen."

That gives us an opportunity
to be a little bit more cutting.

Great, because this is about funny banter.

We're gonna go off a subtlety thing
like, speaking just very soft and gentle,

-but very cutty.
-That's not the easiest thing to pull off.

You have a big personality.
Pearl, you don't have a big personality.

How are you gonna
overcome that for this award?

Um, I think that I have
a great personality, actually.

Pearl, I'm twisting your tits here
because you were in the bottom last week.

-Right.
-And I want to make sure

that this week you up the ante.

You kind of told me I had no personality.
That doesn't give me confidence.

Well, I'm hoping it will
light a fire under your ass.

Is there something on my face?

No, I'm just not convinced
and I want you to do well.

That's why I brought your ass here.

It's so...

...intense.

I never want to see any of my girls
not live up to their potential.

-This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
-Yeah, I'm aware of that.

Yeah.

All right.

I will see you all later.

Thank you, Ru.

I feel very uncomfortable right now.

I'm, like, tripping. I don't know what...

...to do.

-I'm over this bullshit.
-We're finishing writing.

We'll make it great.
Impress Kathy.

I, like, need a minute.

Pearl walked out of the workroom.
I'm not sure she's coming back at all.

There was a standoff between Ru and Pearl.
She ended up walking out.

I'm scared that she's not coming back,
'cause this is a co-presenter team thing.

So..."But enough about us,
we want to thank you, the audience."

Kasha and I are doing our routines.
Now, we're at the point of editing.

I look back and Pearl's still not there.
And I'm like, "What the hell is going on"?

How are you feeling?

Pearl feels defeated. I'm like, "sh*t!
That energy can't be in this situation."

I'm hoping that we're
just gonna be able to shake this off.

She knows that if she doesn't
do well tomorrow, she will probably...

...be saying good-bye.

-Hi! [laughing].
-Hello!

Kasha and I are getting feedback
with the comedy coach, Kathy Griffin.

It's so great to meet you and see you.

I'm pretty sure we'll
knock this one out of the park.

-All right, what you got?
-Enough about us. We wanna thank you...

Cut that line. Every award show says,
"Enough about us." Okay, go ahead.

"Ginger Minj, or as I call her, the
'Danny Devito of drag,' is in the house."

Danny Devito? That's, like, the least
gay reference I've ever heard in my life.

-It's just...
-Gay it up!

-Because she's, like, so...
-Gayer!

-More gay!
-She's just like, "Nope!

That's not good. Shorten that. Cut this.
Do this." So it throws me for a loop.

Then, we're going to intro to
the first presenters and that was it.

So, what did you have?
Just, "And the first presenters are..."?

We're like, "Ugh! Back to
the drawing board."

-"Girl, you look nice tonight."
-"Girl, you look nice, girl."

-"Do you know what we look like?"
"Girl, what?"

-"The number 10."
-"Girl, you is a trip."

Okay, stop.

No more "girls." No more... You're starting
every sentence with girl.

To me, it's like halfway there.

Okay, girl.

"Due to her Craigslist ad, I thought
she was a pig bottom. Floss, anyone?"

Okay. I'm gonna stop you. It's a bit
too blue, and you're hearing that from me.

-So...
-What does that mean, "blue"?

Words that may be bleeped
would be considered blue humor.

The more you know.

"We're simply thrilled to be
looking down upon your oily faces."

"It's like a Nickelback concert mosh pit,
but with less class and more body odor."

Oh, God. All right, I love that
you're shady and fun and snarky.

Don't direct it at
the audience and the judges.

It turns into such a shade sh*t fest,
you just end up turning them off.

All right.

I think I just completely
changed your opening.

After this altercation, there's a lot of
pressure to deliver. We need to k*ll it.

-[both] "And the nominees are..."
-"A girl who puts the c**t in country..."

All right, that's a Rosanne Cash joke,
so just rewrite that one.

"Tonight, we are here to celebrate
the brightest stars in our industry."

"Unfortunately, none of them
were available."

It's like a couple of drag queens
throwing the same old shade at each other.

Give 'em something new.

[Ginger] I used to think I was funny
until I met Kathy Griffin.

I'ma have to call my momma and
have her tell me how good I am.

Oh, girl.

Next, we have to vote on the queen we want
to nominate for each category.

Whoever wins, you get a real sense
of what the other queens think of you.

The Shadiest Queen? Violet is going
to take that one. By a landslide.

Another glorious day.

Today, we're getting ready for
the first annual Despy Awards.

I'm just happy to be nominated.

I'm feeling so much better today.
How about you?

I feel very good today, and thank you
for being so supportive and amazing.

I'm just gonna have fun with it
and do a good job and...

bow out gracefully if that's
what destiny has in store.

Sometimes I do feel like
I am stuck in my shell.

The majority of my teen years
were spent really angry

and dealing with, like,
abandonment issues and...

I didn't know how to talk to people.

I know that a lot of my issues
stem from that experience,

so, if I can learn here that
it's cool to open up more...

"Come out of your shell, Pearl."
It'll be a good thing in the end.

[sings] Ooh, when I think about chicken

It makes me happy

Chickens are my favorite animal.
I grew up on a farm with lots of chickens

and my job was to raise them
to be beautiful and flawless for the fair.

You can blow-dry them
and use vitamin E on their feet.

Liquid bluing makes
a white chicken sparkle.

You show the judge its assh*le
and then they say, "Your bird's healthy."

When I was a kid, I used to go outside
and sing random songs to my chickens.

-What?
-I'd get into it, like, "They love it."

Bitch, this visual you just gave me,
you in a barn, covered in hay.

I hatched chickens under
my bed in an incubator.

This chicken actually won me an award,
right here. Animals were my best friends.

Imagine me about 30 pounds heavier
and a big nerd and loving chickens.

[clucking]

That's how I talk to chickens.

I feel good about us, Fame. It's good
we're getting to know each other.

Working with you has been such a pleasure.
I can't wait...

until I outshine you.

Violet, shut your hole.

I can see how Fame thinks I'm a dark witch
or whatever, but I really like Miss Fame.

Today, I'm starting to really see
a change in Violet for the better.

It's nice. I'm probably one of the only
people she considers a friend right now,

and she does need a friend.

[RuPaul laughing, "Cover Girl" playing]

♪ Cover girl, put the bass
in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe, let your whole body talk ♪

♪ And what? ♪

Welcome to the main stage
of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Michelle Visage, have you got
your thighs on the prize?

Always.

-Super judge Ross Mathews.
-You're an award I'd love to win.

And fabulous award-winning designer,
my pal, Isaac Mizrahi.

-House of Mizrahi represent.
-Don't you forget it, okay?

-Time for a death drop.
-Get ready to gag.

-Sickening.
-Imagine if I did a death drop now?

I don't know if the AARP
covers death drops.

This week, we challenged our queens
to put on an awards show like no other.

Tonight, they valet their limousines
and get ready to snatch some trophies.

Gentlemen, start your engines,
and may the best woman win.

[RuPaul] Almost live
from the slums of Hollywood,

the first annual Despy Awards.

And now, our hostesses with the mostesses,

Mrs. Kasha Davis and Katya.

Oh, my goodness. We want to welcome to...
welcome you to the first Despy Awards.

Now, Katya, what in the hell
does Despy stand for?

Judging from the looks of the nominees,

I'm gonna go with Desperate
Egotistical Sluts Prancing in the Yard.

[laughter]

Got it. The talented
Ginger Minj is here tonight,

or as I like to refer to her,
the Danny Devito of drag.

And we have in our presence,
Miss Lame. Shame. Pain.

-Whatever.
-Whatever.

The gorgeous Pearl, the drag equivalent
of a Valium taking a Xanax in a k-hole.

-And last, but not least...
-As usual

-We have...
-[both] Violet.

Please, welcome to the stage
the stars of Tyler Perry's Roots,

Kennedy Davenport and
Miss Jaidynn Diore Fierce.

Hello, everyone. Straight from
Kunta Kinte's Hut...

...the hourglass and the wall clock.

-Hold on, who's the wall clock?
-Step over there.

-Okay.
-Do this.

-Okay.
-My point.

Anyways, we are here
to present this award

-for the "Sexy, Sexy Drag Queen".
-Let us announce these awful nominees.

-Kandy... [sings] Ho.
-We all know how she got that last name.

-In the back alley, honey.
-Whore.

-Miss Fame.
-Oh, the brand.

Since when did the dollar store
become a brand?

[laughter]

-And Max.
-The queen from that movie Powder?

-Girl.
-The winner is...

Miss Fame.

I wish I could cry but g*dd*mn Botox
got me every time.

[laughter]

Thank you to Mexico for the tapeworm
that snatched my body. The man upstairs,

thank you so much for the light.
I look great.

Thank you so much.

Next up, Pearl and Max.

It is a true honor to be presenting the
Despy award for "Most Busted Drag Queen."

What is a busted drag queen?
I'm glad you asked.

Oh, yes. The nominees are, Mrs. Potato...
I mean, Miss Jaidynn Diore Fierce.

Miss Ginger Minj. "Girl."

"After we swing on by gatorland,

we can get on back to my apartment
and swing on my husband."

The Brooke Hogan of drag, Katya.

And last, but certainly not youngest,
Mrs. Kasha Davis.

Did you hear that, dear?

And the winner is...

-[both] Jaidynn Diore Fierce.
-Oh, congratulations.

Thank you to all my fellow
horrible drag queens.

I hope you all burn in hell.

And I mean it.

-[award show exit music]
-Next up, Ginger Minj and Kandy Ho.

I am so honored to be here
at the first annual Despy Awards.

And I'm working off community service.

We've gathered the very best to present
the award for the "Shadiest Shade."

Condragulations, Kandy! Oh,

I think it's high time that your beard
gets the public recognition it deserves.

No, Ginger. This award is for knowing
how to throw the shade and not apply it.

[both] And the nominees are...

The girl who puts the fun
in elephant, Ginger Minj.

The... how do I say this
and remain socially responsible?

"Black horse" of the competition,
Kennedy Davenport.

And last, as usual, Violet Chachki.

And the award goes to...
[drum roll]

...Violet Chachki.

You don't like me.
You really don't like me.

And last, but not least, God, thanks.

Next up, Miss Fame
and Violet Chachki.

Are there any married couples in
the house? Michelle Visage, how long?

-17 years.
-Oh, girl, no. How long?

As someone who is highly experienced
with handling meat,

I cannot wait to hear the nominees
for Meatiest Tuck.

-Oh, so you work in meat packing?
-You could say that.

Well, let's go ahead
and receive the nominees.

Katya. V.I.P. Very impressive package.

-Jaidynn Diore Fierce. "Hey, girl."
-Meatiest Tuck? Girl, let's be honest.

It looks like she smuggled
a honey baked ham in her panties.

-That brings us to our last nominee.
-[both] Pearl.

Pearl's tucking ability
is just like her personality.

Semi-precious, exhausted,
and barely there.

[both] And the Despy Award goes to...

[both] Katya.

I believe it was the great
American painter Bob Ross who said

"The key to a swollen vag*na is...
courage."

-Have a good night. Thank you so much.
-Good night.

Welcome, ladies. First, I want to
remind you being nominated is an honor,

but winning is so much better.

Thank you, Television Critics Association.

Now, based on your Despy presentations,
I've made some decisions.

Max and Pearl...

Condragulations. You're the winners
of this week's challenge.

You've each won a custom jewel package
from Fierce Drag Jewels.

Completely unexpected and
I am on top of the moon. See?

-Thank you, darling.
-RuPaul, I got the smack down yesterday.

-And it worked.
-Yes, it worked. Thank you.

-I appreciate you.
-Thank you.

Kennedy Davenport and
Jaidynn Diore Fierce... you are safe.

-Thank you, Ru.
-You may leave the stage.

Ladies, it's time
for the judges' critiques.

-First up, Mrs. Kasha Davis.
-You look gorgeous.

But you need to take it way over the top.
I see nothing over-the-top about you.

That's a hard job, opening the show.

That's tough, you know, to be
overshadowed by the people following you.

-Next up, Katya.
-You guys struggled in the opening a bit,

but when you accepted your award,
I thought you were so funny.

For your look, I just want
a little bit more volume on your hair.

Are you kidding me? This is from
the Brooke Hogan collection.

Get out your rat-tail, and start teasing.
Give us some kind of volume.

-Okay.
-Thank you, New Jersey's Michelle Visage.

Thank you.

Next up, Ginger Minj.

Your performance, you had, like,
an All About Eve, Nomi Malone in Showgirls

on the stairs moment where
you were like, "Get out of my way.

-This is my moment," which was fun to see.
-You should cut back on your black spray.

-My felt forehead?
-Just cut it back a little bit, girl.

Next up, Kandy Ho.

You look like Natalie Wood, but
this dress is not my favorite thing.

I think it's, like, swallowing you up
in not a good way.

Unfortunately, you were
paired with Ginger,

so it's up to you to up your game to
keep up with her, and she stole the show.

Thank you, Kandy.
Next up, Violet Chachki.

You look so fabulous. I look at you and
I go, "That's a modern queen." So refined.

In your performance, you have a tendency
to speed up. You speed up in this way.

-Totally.
-Let us hear it, so we can actually laugh.

-Why did they vote you shadiest queen?
-There is some truth to it.

My guess is that you spend a lot of time
by yourself reading fashion magazines.

I look at fashion all the time.
Obviously, the Internet happened, Ru.

-Did you hear about it?
-Oh.

[Michelle laughing]

-All right, thanks, Violet.
-Thank you.

Next up, Miss Fame.

The short sleeve turtleneck with the
opera length glove just makes me so happy.

Your performance with Violet, it was
low-energy for me and didn't really hit.

But I think there's a funniness about you.
You give me a modern thing about comedy.

I can really see you consciously trying
to show us more than just beauty.

I'm just wanting to get past my own head.

How is your head?

I'm thinking a lot and I know
you guys can see that.

I don't even know how to
turn off my thinker.

-Hasn't had any complaints yet.
-Okay.

Thank you, Miss Fame.

All right, thank you, ladies.
I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck backstage,
the judges and I will deliberate.

[engine revs up]

Just between us gladiators.

What do you think?
Starting with Kasha Davis.

Here's someone who has the chops and
didn't bring it tonight. Very frustrating.

This is like a workhorse queen, you know,

and a workhorse queen has to
make us laugh the minute we see her.

-It didn't happen tonight.
-I could be wrong. Maybe she's hilarious.

-No.
-Katya.

Katya's acceptance speech
was a great moment.

She wasn't that funny as the show opened
so I was so happy she had that moment.

As a long-time fan of the show,
what I love are the layers of irony,

and with Katya, there is a core of irony.

-Kandy Ho.
-She would've been gone without the blue.

-Ginger ate her up.
-Kandy Ho is fading away for me.

-Ginger Minj.
-Well, I thought Ginger was a powerhouse.

Don't you think, because her partner
didn't get any of the punchlines,

-is she responsible at all for that?
-No.

That's showbiz, kid. Sometimes, you got to
elbow your way to the front of the stage.

Well, remind me never to perform
on the same stage as Ross, okay?

-Miss Fame.
-I think there was a little stumbling

but she picked herself back up.

Looking at her just makes me live,
die, and then come back to life.

So fresh for a queen to look like that
and then be like this honest, goofy kid.

-Yeah.
-Violet Chachki.

I noted the jokes
about her today from the other queens.

-I don't think they like her very much.
-She doesn't get on well with the others.

She is a child of the Internet.
That is something you do alone.

Frankly, she wasn't necessarily
funny and it was a let down.

Come on, her acceptance speech
was hilarious. Excuse me,

who doesn't want to be the
shadiest queen? I mean...

how punk rock is that?

Silence. I've made my decision.

Bring back my... girls?

Welcome back, ladies.
I've made some decisions.

Ginger Minj...

you're safe.

Kandy Ho... tonight
you looked like Natalie Wood,

but your delivery was a little wooden.

I'm sorry, my dear, but
you are up for elimination.

Miss Fame...

you're safe.

Katya... you're safe.

Violet Chachki... your jokes
got lost in the shade.

Mrs. Kasha Davis, your big opening
was a little sloppy.

Mrs. Kasha Davis, I'm sorry, my dear,
but you are up for elimination.

Violet Chachki... you're safe.

Two queens stand before me.
This is your last chance to impress me

and save yourself from elimination.

The time has come.

I want you to lip-synch...

for your life!

[Kasha] I absolutely deserve
to be in this competition.

Ru, I am ready. Let's do this.

[RuPaul] Good luck...

and don't f*ck it up.

♪ Coffee, tea on me baby, touché ole,
My opening line might be a bit passé ♪

♪ Yes, but don't think that
I don't know what I'm feeling for ya... ♪

[Ginger] Mrs. Kasha Davis pulls up
the slit in that skirt

and, honey, she is serving
these young kids.

♪ I won't bring no pain, a little birdie
Told me that you feel the same game ♪

♪ Don't think that I don't know what it's
doing to me 'cause I got a vibe on you ♪

♪ First time you saw through me,
Through me, I'm for the real ♪

[Jaidynn] Miss Kandy,
she start off slow and sexy,

then she worked her way up and she
just hit in her gear. I am living for it.

♪ Be your one and only lover ♪

♪ I just want to be your lover-girl ♪

♪ Coffee, tea on me baby,
Touché ole my opening line ♪

♪ Might be a bit passé but don't... ♪

[RuPaul laughing]

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Kandy Ho, shantay, you stay.

Thank you.

Mrs. Kasha Davis, you're terrific. Now,

call Mr. Davis and tell him
momma's coming home.

He better have that box wine chilling.

Sashay away.

-Love you, gals.
-[Katya] Love you.

There's always time for a cocktail.

What? I wasn't ready to leave.

One thing that frustrated me the most
were certain people who gave up, you know?

And that kind of pisses me off,
but such is life. It's the game.

Condragulations, ladies.

Remember, if you can't love yourself, how
the hell are you gonna love somebody else?

-Can I get a "amen" up in here?
-Amen.

All right, now let the music play.

♪ Take me up ♪
[vocalizing]

[RuPaul] Bye!

♪ We can fly tonight ♪