14x13 - Mime Over Matter

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music]

[Josh] Hey!

-How are you?
-Good to see you. Mwah.

-So long.
-I know.

[Khloé] Tristan and I were just,
like, on Zillow.

We found this. I told Kim.
That's why she wants to see it.

Well, come on in.
I don't have to really give you the tour.

-[Kim] What a good house.
-Cool, huh?

-[Khloé] Gonna buy it?
-[Kim] No.

Khloé saw that my house
that I owned years ago is up for sale,

and I would love to see it.

There are so many memories in this house.

[Kim] My mirror!

[Khloé] Oh, my God.
They really did keep everything.

[Kim] They kept everything.

[Josh] We sold it fully furnished,
remember?

-That bowl wasn't mine.
-[Khloé laughs]

It's just a fun opportunity
to relive all those memories

and see the house
before someone else bought it.

So, this is where Mom and I got into
the food fight with the cupcakes.

[Kris] I am so proud of you.

You're showing off your little cupcake,
and I think...

[laughter]

[Kris] Really? Really?

You don't wanna mess with me, bitch!

The memories, Kokes.

As long as you got your tits in there,
it's a good video.

[Kim] This is my same exact bedding,
you guys.

Oh, my God, this is where
I dropped Mason once.

[Khloé] What? Don't Snapchat
that you dropped Mason.

-[Josh chuckles]
-It was no big deal. I caught him.

[Khloé] Kim, you've got to go
see your glam room.

Oh, my God, my logos are still on it.

[Khloé] Tell me that's not amazing.

[Kim] This is where they TP'd my house.
Do you remember?

-[Khloé] Oh, [bleep]. When you got so mad.
-TP'd the whole front.

This is like an art form.

[Jonathan gasps]

-[Kim] I am so pissed.
-Now you're gonna be even more pissed.

-[Jonathan] This is, like...
-I don't find this funny. On my roses?

[Khloé] I've never seen someone
get so mad off of a...

Like, that's, like you're not being...

Was I pregnant or something?

-[Khloé] No, you were just a bitch.
-[Josh laughs]

[theme music]

[Khloé] Kourtney, you're so tiny,
it makes no sense.

-I need to just...
-And that's your skin color from Egypt.

Would you lay out less?

What are you doing?

-You have a little black dot.
-[Khloé] Well, she's not done.

Freak.

[Kourtney] So...

Um...

What the [bleep] are you trying to say?
Spit it out.

[Kourtney] I was just gonna tell you
about my conversation with Corey.

[Khloé] Oh, when he said something to you?

[Larsa] But wait, why?
What happened with you, Khlo?

What happened? Like, you guys have...

Nothing happened to me,
and I haven't talked [bleep].

Like, I've never been rude to him.
Like, we were, like, cool.

And then he said something
to Malika at this concert,

and he was like,

"You know, there's that one sister
who hates me."

[tense music]

-Lik was like, "This guy is..."
-Where's this coming from? Yeah.

[Khloé] Right. But he's such a baby,
like, you're making this a bigger scene.

It's like, you talk [bleep] about me
to Malika, who's gonna tell me.

You talk [bleep] about me to Kourtney,
who's gonna tell me.

[Khloé] He makes me very uncomfortable.

When Corey and my mom started dating,

I was definitely skeptical just because

my mom just got out of a 24-year marriage,

and I was just being protective.

[Khloé] But I thought Corey and I
have been fine.

And now I'm hearing that Corey's
been talking [bleep] about me?

Why would you not wanna
get along with your...

-with your girlfriend's daughter?
-Whatever we are.

Yeah. It's so weird.

Like, that attitude is so [bleep] lame.

-Yeah.
-It's like, well, you should care.

If you're dating my mom, you should care
if her kids like you or not.

[upbeat music]

-Who wears a short-sleeve fur jacket?
-[Kim] Sell that.

Mom, sell that right away.

Mom, do you like that quinceñera bag?

-This?
-[Khloé] Yeah.

-That is cheeseball.
-[Kris] It is the coolest beach bag.

It's so cute with my black bathing suit

and my little black cover-up

-and my black Chanel sandals.
-Okay.

[Khloé] I get it. I have things
none of you guys like, either.

Oh, ain't that the truth.

-[laughing]
-[Kris] All right, you guys.

So, I need to find something
to wear to this thing Saturday night

where I could wear this.

[Khloé] Why?

Because I have the biggest earlobes
in the universe.

[quirky music]

[Khloé] Mom, you're just being dramatic.

First of all, you don't have big earlobes,
and now you're nitpicking.

-[Kris] I am not nitpicking.
-So wear, like, a headband or something.

[Kim] Maybe you can add some
hair extensions to cover your ears.

-[Kris] Love.
-[Khloé] Mom, are you for real?

I am for real.

[laughs]
I got to cover my ears.

-No, you don't.
-[Kris] I could do this.

You're just not a beanie kind of girl.

You need to be more glam,
which is, like, a turban-y type of thing.

[Kris] Okay, who knows how to do a turban?

[Khloé] Didn't you learn anything
from the prince of India?

[Kris] No, I can't figure it out.

When I used to sit and watch Grandma Lou
do her makeup,

she had these big earlobes,

and I learned that your nose and your ears

keep growing your whole life.

I don't think your ears
are that bad at all,

especially with those
big diamond studs you wear.

Is that why you wear diamonds that big,
to hide your ears?

I can't afford for my diamonds
to get any bigger. Okay?

[Kris] I bought these earrings.

When I put 'em on. I couldn't wear 'em.
They hung like two cow udders.

-They were horrible.
-♪ Do your ears hang low? ♪

-♪ Do they wobble to and fro? ♪
-♪ To and fro? ♪

All I want is just cute ears.

I really like to look my best
at all times,

and ever since Kim made a comment
about my ears,

I've always wondered.

And now I'm looking
in the mirror obsessively.

Like, are they... are they too big?

And what was she talking about?

But I think that the decision
to do something

about my ever-changing ears...

[laughs]
...is suddenly a priority.

I play with them all day, they're so big.

They're, like, flapping.

-[Kourtney] Oh, my God.
-Ew.

I'm so worried about your ears.

[laughs]
My ears.

-Oh, my God.
-[laughs]

-If you just did this.
-I get it.

Is this like a whole new woman?

[Kourtney] Khloé, what do you...

[laughing]

[upbeat music]

It is lit with this choker.

[Kourtney] My lower back hurts so much.

My knee kills from [bleep] SoulCycle,

but my left knee,
the knee that's never had surgery.

[sighs]

I'm so tired.

[Khloé] This is gonna be a fun workout.

-[Kourtney] Why?
-[Khloé] Just feel sluggish.

[Kourtney] Did you go out last night?

No. Did not go out.

-[Kourtney] Did you drink?
-[Khloé] Nope.

[Kourtney] Did you eat breakfast?

I don't really eat breakfast.

-Hi, Joe.
-Good morning, girls.

-Hi.
-How you doing?

[Khloé] I did the stairs.

Kourtney just sat here

-and did lazy stretching.
-[Kourtney] Stretching.

[Khloé] But anyway, on to the next.

On to the next.

-[Kourtney] What are we doing?
-[Joe] Crunches.

Stay on the floor, grab your arm,
and lift me everything

by keeping your arm...

That's it. Breathe out.

Is this supposed to hurt my lower stomach?

-Nope.
-No?

No. You feel it like the...

-Like, pulling. Yeah.
-You feel the tension?

-Like, I've never felt that before.
-This one... This one is more.

Well, if you never felt it before,

then it's safe to say
you're not supposed to feel it.

Should I just do regular?

-Like, small crunches.
-[Kourtney] What should I do?

Do the thing you were
supposed to be doing.

[panting]

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] Lately, I have been
so sluggish and bloated

and Tristan keeps teasing me

'cause he keeps saying,
"Oh, I think you're pregnant."

He keeps putting his hand on my tummy.

And it's not far-fetched, it's just...

I'm not pregnant.

There's no way.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] Alexa!

[Alexa] Yeah.

[Khloé] Um...

Oh, my God.

-[Alexa] Like, there are two lines.
-Yeah.

[Khloé] Clear as day.

I am pregnant.

-[Alexa] No.
-Yeah.

-[Alexa] No, you're not.
-No, I am.

And I felt that I was.

-[Alexa] You've been saying it.
-I know.

And you said you were in the shower
and you had to sit down.

Oh, my God, yes.

After my workout was the first...

I've never felt that tired in my life.

-That's so weird.
-It's so crazy.

I'm pregnant.
[laughs]

I'm super nervous but really excited.

There's a million different emotions
that are going on in my brain,

but I think I'm in a state of shock.

I almost can't believe it,
but in good shock.

[Khloé] Tristan and I have always
discussed that in August

we would start trying having kids
and I would get off birth control.

I ended up getting off birth control
a few months before

because I met Dr. Huang.

[Dr. Huang] There's a possibility that you
being on the pills as long as you have

-has kind of suppressed your ovaries...
-[Khloé] Mm-hmm.

...and not let me see
all the other follicles.

-So get off the pills.
-[Khloé] Mm-hmm.

And if we do that, and, uh,
things look great, awesome.

If things don't look good,

definitely consider getting
some of these maybe in the freezer.

It's the weirdest, best, craziest
just... [bleep].

[chuckles]

-Did you call Tristan?
-[Khloé] Yeah.

When he answered the phone, I was,
like, holding this, like, just that.

I'm, like, shaking, and he was like,
"What? I can't see anything."

I was like, "[bleep] look at the thing!"
He's like, "It says 'poor connection.'"

I was like, "[bleep],"
'cause he's in Toronto.

-Oh, my God.
-[Khloé] So he has no service.

And I was like, "I'm pregnant."

He was like, "Oh, my God." He's like,
"Wait, are you kidding or serious?"

I was like, "No, I'm serious."
And then I started crying.

He said, "Are you crying?"
And I was like, "I'm crying."

I was like,
"I don't know what's happening."

-Oh, my God.
-Because we've said...

-He's been wanting this.
-I know.

Like, we put it in the universe.

-So, like, this is like a blessing.
-[Khloé] It's crazy.

It's totally a blessing.
It's just really real.

I can't believe you're pregnant.

I know. It's so real.

Can you call your sisters?

-No. I don't want anyone to know.
-Okay.

Because I want to tell them,
like, with Tristan.

-Yeah.
-And then, weirdly,

Tristan's whole family is coming here.

So my mom was already planning
on having a barbecue at her house,

-so that's...
-So that's perfect.

Yeah, she was already doing that,

so I just figure,
let's piggyback onto that.

I would love to tell everyone at one time
so no one feels, like...

-[Alexa] Yeah.
-...we told one before the other.

I think it's just gonna be
so hard not to tell, like, anyone.

I actually can't believe you're pregnant.

-[laughter]
-I can't believe I'm pregnant either.

[both laughing]

[upbeat music]

Don't we look like real sisters right now?

-[Kim] Hi.
-[Jason] Hi, guys.

-Great to see you again.
-[Kim] How are you? Good to see you.

-How are you? Good to see you.
-Good. How are you?

-I'm Kris. Nice to see you.
-Hi, Kris, it's so nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.
-How are you?

-Good. Really good.
-I'm so glad you guys are here.

So, I have a practice in Moscow,
and Dubai, and New York,

so I see everybody
from all over the world.

[Jason] I get the requests to look,
you know, people bring pictures.

I mean, I get Angelina
and I get Megan Fox,

-but you are the number one person...
-No way.

[Jason] Number one.

Is she gonna do the picture thing?

[Jason] You wanna put
your face in the camera?

We can put you on the computer
and show you what I see.

[Kris] Yeah.

Dr. Jason Diamond
is a world-renowned surgeon

who specializes
in plastic surgery of the face.

So I know he'll be able to help me
with my earlobes

and get everything kind of moved up
to the right place.

[Jason] So, there's some
very straightforward things

that can make a big difference.

-[Kris] Thank you, God.
-[Jason] So, what we do

is cut out a wedge of tissue
that looks something like this.

-[Kris shudders]
-[Jason] So, all that is gone.

And it just brings this up like this.

The procedure takes about 30 minutes.

It looks good in three days.

[Jason] You would love it. It'd be great.

[Kris] Yeah. Who even knew
you could do that?

[Jason] That alone will take five,
ten years off of you.

Just the earlobe reduction.

[Kris] Like, my earlobes
are out of control.

[Jason] Yeah, you know,
it's a common saying, as we get older,

-our nose and our earlobes grow, so...
-[Kris] It's so annoying.

[upbeat music]

[Kim] I love it out here.

It's very nice and relaxing.

[Khloé] Hi, Goober.

Goober. Goober.

Then she's gonna go over there
and you're gonna say,

"Why is the dog over here?"

[Khloé] But you called her name.

-Oh, hi, Goober.
-[chuckles]

Gabbana Goober. Let's see your teeth.

Why is that so funny for... to you?

[Kim] I don't know.

[Khloé] Stay.

-[Gabbana panting]
-[Khloé] Good girl.

[gasps]
Oh, my goodness!

[Tristan] What's up, what's up, what's up?

-I thought North was here.
-Hello, everybody. Hello, everybody.

[Kim] Let's cue the cute music.

[both groan]

[romantic music]

[Khloé] I love you.

-Let's cue the romantic music.
-[Khloé] It's been two weeks!

-Really? Two weeks?
-[Khloé] He's been gone for two weeks!

A week and a half. Nine days.

That's so cute
that you still get so excited.

"Still"? We've only known each other
for a year.

-That's true. It is a year.
-I know. I'm like, "Oh, hey."

Kim doesn't know that
this is the first time I'm seeing Tristan

since we confirmed that I am pregnant,

and we're both so excited
and happy about it.

[Khloé] Also, Tristan and Alexa
are really the only two people

that know that I'm pregnant,

so having Tristan back in town,

and I could share just how I'm feeling

or, like, my nerves or my excitement,
it makes me feel really good.

So it's good to have
my support system back here.

-She's asking you to rub her stomach.
-[Kim] I know.

-[Khloé] She's persistent.
-[Tristan] Mm-hmm.

[Khloé] Ah...

-[Tristan] Wow. I'ma be honest...
-[Kim high-pitched squeaking]

[Tristan laughs]

Well, I'm gonna go, uh, use the bathroom.

When you're done,
I wanna come and bother you.

That's fine. I'm waiting for that.

-[Kim] She loves it.
-I'm waiting for that.

Gabbana, I was very generous.

[Kim] You have great teeth, Gabbana.

-[laughing]
-[Kim] She does.

-[Khloé] She has great teeth?
-[Kim] Very, like, straight teeth.

Thank God, or you would probably
make me give her dental surgery.

[upbeat music]

[Khloé vocalizes]

[Khloé] Okay, your breathing,
you've got to chill.

Like, you're breathing so hard.

Khlo. What is the stick that is shoved
so far up your ass

and your vag*na at the same time?

You need to lighten up.

[Kourtney] You have a permanent attitude
every day.

[Khloé] I don't think so to other people
'cause no one else says it.

-[Kourtney] Not to anyone else.
-Oh, to you.

-It's the way you even look at me...
-I know.

...is, like, atrocious.

It's not atrocious.

I just feel like you and I are not vibing.

-But guess what?
-You don't care.

-[Kourtney] We're soul sisters.
-Oh.

-No, I don't not care.
-I was gonna say, "That's nice."

You little [bleep] whore.

[Kourtney] Every time I see you,

you just stare me down
in, like, an evil way.

[Kim] How was Poppy?

Kendall was there,
and, uh, the basketball player was there.

[Kourtney]
But I look over and I see, like,

a Black guy sitting there
with a bottle of 1942,

like, holding it,

-just sitting like this.
-[Kim] For dear life?

No, but I was like, "Is that Corey?"

He shaved his beard
so he looks totally different.

[Kourtney] Then I talked to him.

I'm like, "Are you coming
to the barbecue?"

[Kourtney] And he was like,
"Uh, I don't think so."

-Why? We're planning on this.
-Like, you know, just like,

"Seeing everyone, it's, like, hard."
And then I was like...

-Who?
-[Khloé] Seeing everyone is hard?

Like, "Everyone, like,
they don't like me,"

-or whatever, and I'm like...
-[Khloé] Who doesn't like him?

Tell him to answer the...
Spit it out, Corey, and be direct.

I know, so I said,

"Khloé was just telling me
how she feels like you hate her."

He's like, "I just know what people,
like, think about me," or whatever.

[Khloé] I've never given a sprinkle
of that energy.

Same.

[Khloé] You should say,
"Khloé would like to talk to you."

-Do you want me to text him that?
-Yeah.

Tristan and I have this really huge
barbecue coming up,

and I know Corey will probably be there,

and I don't want there to be
any weird tension.

[Khloé] I want everything
to be peaceful and enjoyable.

And, plus, I really don't want my mom
to be stressed about any potential drama

between her boyfriend and her daughter.

[line ringing]

-[Khloé] Oh.
-[Kim] You're FaceTiming him?

-No, no, don't FaceTime.
-[Kourtney] Why?

-We said text him.
-Shh! Just say, okay.

Just say, "Khloé would love to see..."

Oh, my God, you're making this
so awkward now.

Oh, my God, why would you do that?

-[Corey] Yo.
-Hi.

Come to the barbecue
'cause Khloé wants to talk to you.

[whispering]
Nicely. Nice, like in a nice way.

[Kourtney] Nicely.

Khloé wants to talk to you nicely.

She would love for you to be there.

[Kourtney] Did you hear me?

[Corey] You're not even saying...

Here, I'll text you.
The connection is bad.

-[Corey] All right.
-Okay, bye.

I am so nervous to talk to Corey
about any of our weird problems

that we have together.

I mean, Tristan and I are going through
a lot of changes right now.

I want him at the barbecue
to hear our announcement.

But we just don't need any extra drama.

I don't even know
what the drama is anymore.

I'm... It's, like, crazy.

I'm going to Kendall
and Kylie's gynecologist.

I just wanted you guys all to know that.

-Good.
-[Kim] That's exciting.

Spicing up my life.

[upbeat music]

[Kourtney] You have a red dot of lipstick
randomly up here.

It might be necessary
to look in the mirror.

[Khloé] Have you ever been
this hot in your life?

Ugh, I'm literally sweating.

-I'd like to try one of these.
-[Khloé] They're a little sour.

Golden berries.

[Kourtney] That's so much sugar.

Last night, I had rice, chicken,
brussels sprouts, carrots.

[Kourtney] What do you eat for dinner?

Last night, I had an artichoke.

And you think that's good?

-[Khloé] What?
-Where's your protein?

It's some in an artichoke.

Is there?

Yeah, I Googled the nutritional value.

Get off my d*ck for two seconds.

So, where does it all go wrong?
[chuckles]

[Kourtney] What are you eating?
Are you snacking?

So, you think I'm fat.

No, but I think you've gained
a few pounds.

-You think that? Since when?
-[Kourtney] Yeah.

I don't know.

Since Tristan's been back.

Haven't you guys amped up the eating
since he's been back?

Probably.

[Kourtney] That's not a bad thing.

-Well...
-[Kourtney] Got to live life.

[Khloé] I know I'm bigger.
What do you want me to do?

[tense music]

[Kourtney] I could tell you a few small
tips that would just help you instantly.

-[coughing]
-[Kourtney] Just a healthier way

to, like, be is to just...

Are you okay?

[coughing]

-No, don't.
-[laughing]

[coughing]

-You have...
-Stop!

There are too many things happening.

-You have stuff all on your teeth.
-Stop.

-[both laughing]
-[Khloé] No.

[coughs]

Just stop hitting me just one minute.

I'm sweating to death. I'm choking.

[Khloé] And I'm being att*cked
by red lipstick.

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] Let's get up for the day.

-[Kris] Hi!
-[nurse] How are you?

-[Jason] How are you?
-You guys, was I supposed to not eat?

No, it's okay, 'cause you're doing local.

-I had a shake, a little bit of a shake.
-No, it's okay. How are you?

-[Kris] How are you?
-[both] Mwah. Good morning.

-No, it's okay, 'cause it's just local.
-Yeah.

-So it's no problem.
-Yeah, Kim just wrote me and said,

"Mom, I can't get you an..."
She's coming here in a minute.

She's on her way, and she goes,
"I would get you something,

but you can't eat." I'm like...

Well, let's not eat anything else.

[Kris] "Is it 'cause I'm fat
or because I'm doing this procedure?"

Hello! How are you?

[Jason] Wide awake, so if anything bothers
you at all, you'll just say, "Hey..."

-[Kim] Hello.
-You won't feel a thing.

-[Kim] Oh, you're wide awake?
-Oh, yeah, just a little Valium.

-Look at her face.
-It's nothing.

Okay, well, I'll be in the other room
eating my breakfast

while you're wide awake.

-Wide awake.
-[Jason] Yeah, just a little local.

I canceled my other appointments,
so I'll stay here.

-Thank you!
-You're welcome.

I'm a little nervous.
They're gonna give me a Valium.

-You're nervous?
-Mm-hmm.

[Jason] Let's see
if we can make some marks first.

And if this hurts at all, tell me.

Oh, my God, can you believe
you're cutting your [bleep] ears off?

You piece of [bleep].

You are really mean.

That's so mean.

No, I just... Like, it hit me.

I was, like, staring at your ear,
and I'm like, "Holy [bleep]."

My whole goal this morning
was to try not to focus

-on what the actual procedure was...
-[Kim] Okay.

-...and just chill into the Valium.
-[Kim] It's chill.

I am going to go into the other room.
This is my cue.

-But I'll be right out there.
-Mm-hmm.

Chilling.

-[Kim] Okay?
-Mm-hmm.

-Good luck.
-[Kris] Thank you.

[Jason] After this,
you're not gonna feel anything.

[device whirring]

[Jason] This is, like,
the worst one right here.

Good.

And right here too.

[Kim] Watching this is crazy
and very uncomfortable,

but you know what?

Do what you got to do.

If you have to cut half your ear off,
all good.

I'm here to support you.

[Jason] Kris, you're done.

[Kris] Oh, my gosh.

[Jason] It was easy, right?

[Kris] You know, it's wild.
I never felt a thing.

-I'm excited. Thank you so much.
-[Jason] You're welcome.

I really appreciate it.

[Kim] Your ear looks like
a normal ear now.

-Do you want a comb?
-[Kris] No.

I put it in my will that I have to always
have my hair done

-if I'm, like... cannot...
-[Jason chuckles]

-...talk to myself or, like, communicate.
-[Kris] Yeah.

[Kim] Mom, I'll make sure
that your hair's always done.

[Kris] Thank you.

If you don't know your name,
you'll have great hair.

[upbeat music]

-[Kim] Hey, you look cute.
-[Kris] Thank you.

Hi! How's my little girl?

-[Kim] How are your ears?
-[Kris] I don't know.

[Kim] They look great,
and they look way better.

You're so cute.

[Kourtney] You did it, Mase.

-[Reign] Mom...
-[Kourtney] Wanna come up?

Yes.

-Hi, Mama.
-Hi, baby.

Dada.

[upbeat music]

[Kris] Hey, Mom.

-How are you?
-I'm good, sweetheart.

-Good.
-[both] Mwah.

[Kris] You look pretty. Hi!

My bloody Valentine.

-I love you! I miss you so much.
-[Kanye] I love you too.

-Oh, my God, I love you.
-[Kanye] I love you too.

[Kris] Mm!

Hey, guys.

Sorry, we're late.

[Kris] Hi!

-I'm so happy you're here!
-Me too!

[Kris] So good to see you!

Oh, my God, you look so beautiful!

[Khloé] Hi!

You dressed up.

So did you.

-[Kim] Not really. Will you introduce me...
-Oh, Yeezus is here?

...to Tristan's mom?

Kim said you weren't gonna be here.

So, guess what, this is a big day.

[Kim] I wasn't sure, so...

[Khloé] Hi. You look cute.
Hi, Corey. You look nice.

Oh, the Lord got a haircut!

And he brought the big dog.

This thing's a puppy.

[Khadijah] That thing is not a puppy.

Krissy, you have so many grandkids now,
it's crazy.

-[Kris] They're everywhere.
-It's like we blinked

-and you have more grandkids...
-♪ They are everywhere! ♪

♪ What am I gonna do? ♪

[Khloé] Babe.

[Kris] No.

Do you want something to drink, Khlo?

[Khloé] No, I'm okay, Mom.

-[Kris] Are you sure?
-[Khloé] Yeah.

[Khloé] So what do you wanna do, exactly?

Like, do we bring out the cake?

Are you just... are we just
gonna say, "We have an announcement"?

[clears throat]
"We are gathered here to, to ascertain..."

-You're gonna lead it.
-[Tristan] Huh?

-You lead it.
-I'm gonna lead it, then you'll finish.

[Tristan] I'll lead, be like,
"Thank you, guys, you know,

-for coming..."
-Okay.

"Taking time out
of your guys' busy schedule."

"Thank you, guys, for coming." Okay.

"It's perfect timing."

Okay, I'm getting anxiety, like, a lot.

-[Tristan] And then...
-Oh, my God.

-[Tristan] Then we throw the hammer down.
-Okay.

Tristan and I are so nervous
to tell everyone.

I mean, we both don't know
what the hell we're doing,

but we're super excited and we're so lucky
and blessed to have everybody here.

[Khloé] Can we get everyone
from the cabana to the table?

Okay. Come on. Come on, Scott.

Well, first and foremost, thank you, guys,
for all coming.

[Tristan] Apologize
for being 30 minutes late.

It was definitely my fault.

-Thank you for being honest.
-Um...

Mama Kris, thank you
for allowing us to come.

[Tristan] I think it's perfect timing
that my family's here

and all your family's here
to unite as one.

And, um...

[tense music]

We have an announcement.

[Khloé] We're so bad at this.

We're just, like, excited but nervous.

We are so awkward, both of us.

KoKo, want to throw the hammer down?

[Kim] Wait, what?

-We're having a baby!
-[Kourtney] What?

-[all gasp, cheer]
-Oh, my God.

No way!

[applause]

Yes, we are!

Khloé! Oh, my God! Oh, Khloé!

-I am so happy for you!
-No wonder you gained a few pounds!

[Khloé] Kourtney called me fat.

[Kris] Hearing this news is...

the most special thing
that I think anyone could ever tell me.

[Kris] I'm ecstatically surprised.

I always thought that maybe Khloé

would be one of those women
who didn't have kids.

[Kris] And I struggled with that.

It made me really sad.

Because no one that was
born to do this more than Khloé.

-[Kim] How far along are you?
-I'm so happy for you.

-It'll be six weeks on Tuesday.
-Congratulations.

-Congratulations.
-Oh!

[Kourtney] You're gonna have a cousin
right down the street!

[woman sighs]

-Everybody have a glass?
-Yes, we do.

It's a blessing because there's so much
women looking and cannot find it,

but you are chosen by the most high,
so let's give God thanks.

[Andrea] Father, we thank you for this day
that you have made for us

when you choose a mother
to have your fruits.

-Amen. Oh.
-[all] Amen.

Thank you.

Oh, I knew it was gonna come eventually.

-[Khloé] You made her cry.
-[Andrea] Just in time.

I... was... freaking out.

-I was not...
-But are you okay now?

Of course, I'm okay now.

-Meaning, like, you're not scared.
-[Khloé] I'm not dying.

Yes, I'm scared.

[Malika] You were just initially shocked.

Do I get to, like... I want to still go out
and, like, have fun.

[Kim] One kid doesn't do anything.

Especially at the beginning,
you'll just, like, lay there.

Okay, good.

It feels so good to tell everyone,
and everyone's so excited.

[Khloé] I'm happy that I get to talk
about it now with my sisters,

and my mom was just so emotional.

This is literally her dream

'cause she nudges me every day
about freezing my [bleep] eggs.

So, feel really blessed.

Hey.

[Kendall] Hi.

[Khloé] I'm having a baby.

-No, you're not.
-No, I am.

What?

-[Khloé] Yeah, it's so weird, trust me.
-[Kris laughs]

Oh, wait. This is Kylie calling.

-We'll call you right back.
-I'm like, "Babe..."

-Okay, love you. Bye.
-"...I think I'm gonna hate Kourtney..."

[chimes]

Well, you missed the barbecue,
and I really wanted to tell you something.

That's why I said it would be important
for... for you to be here.

-Are you pregnant?
-[Khloé] I'm pregnant.

[squeals]

-[Khloé] Yes.
-[laughter]

[Kylie] Are you really?
'Cause I'm gonna cry.

Don't cry, because it's...

-[Kris] Aw.
-No, like, seriously.

-I'm so happy for you!
-[laughter]

[Khloé] Oh, thank you.

And Tristan. Love you.

[Khloé] I'm pregnant.

-[laughs]
-That is so crazy.

It's different
that we're doing it together.

I wish that, like,
I was actually pregnant, but...

-[chuckles]
-You know.

I just never thought that this one
was gonna be able to have a baby.

I just want you to be happy.

[soft upbeat music]

-[Kris] Hey.
-[Khloé] Hey, Mom.

[Kris] Are these Tristan's?

They're not mine.

[Khloé] Look how big the foot is.

What size shoe does he wear?

[Khloé] Fifteen.

Wow!

I really want to talk to you
about something that's serious.

When we were all at your house,
I felt like

Corey was doing anything
in his power to avoid me.

[Khloé] Some of my friends noticed.

They were like, "Is something going on
with you and Corey?

Like, why does every time you walk in
the room, he walks out of the room?"

Oh. Okay.

Like, I was announcing
I was having a baby, so I'm sorry.

The fact that he could barely say
congratulations to me blew my mind.

-Yeah.
-Don't be so [bleep] dramatic.

I want to know, like, what's going on,

and, like, why can't we both just coexist,
but more so for you.

Like, I don't want you
to feel ever uncomfortable,

especially in your own home

and in your own relationship,

-I think, as a mom.
-Yeah.

So I was thinking,
and if it's okay with you,

[Khloé] I just want to take him
to dinner or something.

A hundred percent.

I think that needs to happen.

If that energy is out there,
it's not okay with me.

My kids come first over anybody
ever for the rest of time.

So, I want one big, cuddly, happy family.

Anything else is never gonna work for me.

[tense music]

[birds chirping]

[Khloé] Mom?

-[Kris] Hey.
-[Khloé] Hey.

What are these? Veins?

-[Kris] Varicose veins.
-So what do I do with them?

You go to Dr. Shamban,
and that's her favorite thing.

She injects them with saline,
and they go away.

Ew.

It really hurts.

[scoffs]
So why would I wanna do it?

That's the only solution.

[Kris] No pun intended.

[Khloé] So, what's going on?

I'm just obsessing with my ears.

I just had my hair and makeup done,

and every time, I keep going,
"Is the swelling down yet?"

-What are all those dots in your ears?
-[Kris] Stitches.

Oh, you still have stitches in?

That's what I mean.

This healing process is wild.

So these are stitch...

-Yeah, you have stitches.
-Yeah. Right?

-What does the back look like?
-I don't want to look.

Look! I can't look.

[Khloé] Ew. It's, like, crusty.

Crusty?

-It's like...
-[Kris] That's a horrible word.

Peel... Well, that's what
it looks like. Crust.

[quirky music]

[Khloé] My mom is so ridiculous
with this ear thing.

She's been obsessed.

I don't know whether to laugh
or be concerned.

I'm just praying for a speedy recovery

'cause I need to stop hearing
about these damn earlobes.

[Kris] I've got all these fabulous
diamonds that I've been waiting to wear.

I mean, I have a collection now.

-But why are you rushing it?
-[Kris] They're really swollen.

They're like two little bulbs.

If you had short hair like me,
you would understand the journey.

[Kris] You would understand the battle.

It's a struggle.

[scoffs]

[upbeat music]

When I was in college,
we would do this thing

where you look up the difference
between love versus infatuation.

-[Kourtney] It was this article.
-Oh, my God, you used to tell me this

-all the time.
-Yes.

"Infatuation makes you act crazy,
love calms you down."

-Nope. No.
-"Infatuation is intense but short-lived.

Love is comfortable, but lasts longer."

-[Kourtney] That just sounds boring.
-Boring.

[bleep] this article.

Okay, so, is it strange that
I'm actually nervous to go to this lunch?

-No. I'm nervous to go to this lunch.
-[Khloé] Okay.

I'm, like, really, like, oh, my God.

[upbeat music]

-Hello.
-[man] How are you?

-Hello.
-[man] Beautiful as usual.

-Nice to see you.
-Good to see you.

-Thank you.
-[in Italian] Welcome. Welcome.

Welcome!

-[Khloé in English] Hi, Corey.
-Hi. What's up? What's going on?

-[Khloé] How are you?
-Chilling. Y'all are good?

How are you, Corey?

I'm as good as I can be.

Good.

So, what's up, you guys?

[tense music]

I just feel like, lately, things
have been weird between us,

so I wanted to make sure.

Like, if there's anything,
we can talk about it.

Right.

I try. Like, when I see you,
I'm like, "Hey, Corey."

Like, I try to give you a hug,
but I'm always like,

I don't even know if you wanna hug me.

[Khloé] I don't even know what this is.

It's just standoffish.

[tense music]

It's not like it's a problem.

I guess it just is what it is,
but it's not... me.

I don't dislike nobody.

I've... I've...

What you just said to me is what I feel.

Like, I wanted to figure out what was
the situation with how you are towards me.

-I always treat others as I'm treated.
-[Khloé] Mm-hmm.

And I get treated standoffish.

I like to give what I get as well,

but I think for my mom's sake,

I want to get to a place with you and I,

like, just where, like,
I want you to feel comfortable.

I want us to be like...

Like, we were cool for a minute,
then I don't know what happened.

I... I like all y'all,

but y'all are girls.

I'm a dude,

and I know how that [bleep] can go.

Why? What's the difference?

It... it just...

[Corey] We don't have a lot
of conversation. We don't talk.

I ain't talk to you in a long time,

but I haven't really understood it enough
to really come to you and ask you,

"Do you like me?"

Because it's like,
that's asking for acceptance.

-[Corey] I'm always be myself.
-[Kourtney] But wouldn't you want

-acceptance from your girlfriend's...
-No, no. You would want it...

You would want it genuinely.

[Corey] I'm not gonna come
campaign for it.

No, you don't want to force it.

So, I'm a young dude dating y'all mom.

Like, y'all are not really
my [bleep] kids.

We are technically peers.

[Corey] What I feel like,
I mean, Khloé, look.

As you get to know me better
or get to know my personality,

-then I think we'll probably be cooler.
-[Khloé] Mm-hmm.

[Khloé] Okay.

[tense music]

I definitely feel like
we're going in circles.

There's a lot of riddles,
a lot of deflecting.

[Khloé] And I feel a lot of,
like, defensiveness.

The fact that I am now the one
to blame here, like, what?

But okay. I thought I did reach out.

[Khloé] I thought I set up this lunch.

I'm so nice.

Thank you, man.

Thanks so much. Have a good day.

-You too. Yeah.
-Good to have you here.

[upbeat music]

[Khloé in high-pitched]
How come my ass got so fat?

♪ Why? ♪

[laughing]

-[Tristan] Oh, can I share?
-[Khloé] Why?

You got cooties.

-I'm joking...
-No, you have cooties that you gave to me.

-Just 'cause you're over it now...
-Well, you wanted to cuddle, so...

No, you lay your head on me like this,
rubbing your eye on me.

Hey, that's how I fall asleep. Sorry.

Yeah, but then look at me.
I now have a pink eye.

[phone ringing]

[Khloé] Hey.

[Kim] Tell me everything
about your lunch with Corey.

I am salivating.

[Khloé] So, he comes in
with, like, this look on his face.

-[Tristan] He just come guarded.
-And I was like, "Well, I just, you know,

I feel like things have been awkward
between us."

And he was like, "Oh, that's funny
you said that 'cause I...

You know, I was gonna think
the same thing about you."

I don't even know. Like, it's like, I...

He talks, literally, he's in riddles.

[Khloé] I feel like I get, like, a treat

at the end of figuring every sentence out.

[Kim] Okay, guys, I got the Cliffs Notes.

-I love you. Okay, bye.
-Okay, bye.

Love you.

To make it right,
I think you should text him,

be like, "I'm glad we had this lunch.

-Hopefully, we can build on it."
-Babe.

[Tristan] Come on now.

-[Khloé] Babe.
-I'm just saying.

-No, I was thinking that.
-[Khloé] We're not... verse him!

[Tristan]
And you're the pit bull in the family.

Nobody likes to ruffle your feathers.

-Tristan knows what it's like to be...
-Yeah, to be the guy in the...

A guy coming in to all...
to this big family.

-Yeah, so it's...
-Yeah, but he made a good point.

He was like, he gives what he gets.

[Khloé] I do the same thing.

But, at some point,
someone has to break the cycle.

So, and I think that's what
he was just asking for.

Like, I'm cool being the bigger person.

You should really text him, though.

-Text him and say thanks for the...
-[Tristan] "I'm glad we had this talk.

Let's move forward from this." And then,

something so, so small goes a long way.

[sighs]

[upbeat music]

[Kendall] Oh, my gosh,
I had something spicy.

Oh, my God. I'm dying.

What's in here that's spicy?

I literally just ate it, whatever it is.

Nothing was spicy.

Oh, my gosh.
[clears throat]

[Kendall] There's... I don't know
what it was, but I ate it.

-I swear on my life, I didn't put it in.
-[laughs]

[Kris] Hello, lovelies.

-How is everybody today?
-Hey, Mom.

[Kris] Hi.

[quirky music]

I love my ears, and not one of my kids
can ever sing that song.

♪ Do your ears hang low? ♪

♪ Do they wobble to and fro? ♪

What are you doing that for?

This is, like, the new me.

That's cool.

-Hi, Kenny.
-Hey.

I'm so confused.

Why is she being weird?

Come on, let's do a selfie.
Where's my phone?

Yeah, I'm really just so lost.

-Oh, your ears.
-Okay.

Smile.

-You know about Mom's ear surgery, right?
-I'm feeling this.

Oh, you had ear surgery?

You didn't know
she got her earlobes cut off?

-Smile.
-[Khloé] She's... Look at Kendall so scared.

Wait, what?

-Mom, tell her about your ears.
-Did you really have ear surgery?

-Dr. Diamond cut off half her earlobes.
-Yes. They made 'em smaller.

-[Kendall] Is that why you're showing me?
-[Kris] They're still really swollen.

-[groans]
-See? See?

-It's black and blue. Stop.
-Look. Oh.

How old are you?

[Kris] Twelve.

God, this is a tough crowd.

She's been super, like, insecure
about her stupid ears.

[Khloé] Just go with it.

Mom, your earrings are amazing.

I love, love, love them.

-Your lobes look beautiful. They do.
-[Kris] Thank you.

I've never seen more beautiful lobes.

-I just needed a little lobe of love.
-I thought you were going to go hug her.

-Me too. I was like, "Thank you."
-I was like, "Oh, my God.

That's so nice of you."

-[Kendall] I'm not that nice.
-I thought you were gonna hug her too.

I thought, "What a sweet child."

[upbeat music]

After I reached out to Corey
to set up the lunch,

you know, things were a little weird
at the lunch,

but now we are, you know,
we're texting back and forth,

and we're trying
to mend things a little bit.

[Scott] What is that? Tuna?

[woman 1] Uh, there's some chicken salad,
egg salad.

[Corey] Khloé, you want something?

[Khloé] No, I'm so good.

[woman 2] You're good? Okay, awesome.

[Khloé] So I invited him
to The Steve Harvey Show

to be with Scott and I.

I know he's friends with Steve,

and I'm so happy
that Corey decided to come,

and we're just gonna have
a good afternoon together.

Do I look big?

Do I look fat?

[Corey] Naw, why would you look fat?

'Cause Scott's reaction when I asked that.

-[Scott] I think everybody looks awesome.
-[Corey] He's playing with you.

[Khloé] No, don't do that right now!

-[Corey] You look perfect.
-[Khloé sighs]

-Thank you, but Scott just said I'm fat.
-[Scott] Where'd your butt go?

-Shut up.
-[Scott chuckles]

[Khloé] Oh, Mr. Steve Harvey.

Hello, sir.

-[Steve] I'm a real big fan of yours.
-I'm a fan of yours.

[Steve] I'm telling you, for real.

Scott, how you feeling, man?

-How are you doing? Thank you.
-Welcome to the show, man.

I am here with the king.

Steve Harvey!

Yeah, about to do a guest spot.

-I finally got Khloé.
-I'm a huge fan.

We gonna do it.

[audience cheering]

Corey's like the jack of all trades.

HD, high-def cameras pick up everything.

[woman] That's right.

[Corey] Scott, let's go, baby.
It's time to get in the game.

Watch the master, watch the master.

[Steve] Please welcome Khloé Kardashian
and Scott Disick.

[woman] Go!

[audience cheering]

Time at The Steve Harvey Show together
is giving me hope

because I feel like Corey and I, you know,

it's this mutual relationship right here,
we're doing good.

So this is the beginning,

hopefully, of a beautiful friendship.

[Khloé] Just saying bye.

Where's your stuff?

-They have it. Yeah.
-Are you sure?

-Oh, yeah.
-Thanks, Corey.

[Kim] On the next episode...

One thing that most families
aren't prepared for is death.

Just imagine me
on that little black velvet pedestal.

[Kourtney] I have to do a home decor line.

This already sounds like too much
of a commitment for you.

You have a different work ethic
than the rest of us.

I'm not sitting here dilly-dallying.

[Kourtney]
Scott called me at two in the morning.

"He's your boyfriend?"

[Kris] He just seemed a little bit off.

[Khloé] Scott's having another episode.

[Kourtney] When is it gonna be enough?