02x22 - Chuck Versus the Ring (1)

[bunniefuu]

Chuck: Hi. I'm Chuck. Here's a few things you might need to know.

Steve: I programmed it to remove the Intersect from Chuck's head.

It's over, Chuck. The Intersect is out.

Devon: You're a spy, Chuck?

Chuck: Yeah, more or less, yeah.

Devon; Awesome!

Anna: Don't you have a dream, Morgan?

Morgan: I'd like to be a Benihana chef.

Morgan out.

Lester: You're free, Morgan!

Ellie: Chuck, where have you been?

Chuck: I was getting your wedding present.

Ellie: Dad...

Truck driver: Where're you headed?

Roark: Burbank.

Got a wedding to go to.

Emmett; Hmm, thank you for joining us.

Chuck; Emmett, I've waited a long time for this day.

Thought of so many ways I could say it out loud and how it'd finally feel to get it off of my chest.

Emmett: Let me stop you, Chuck.

I am incredibly flattered.

But I am a flaming heterosexual.

Chuck: What?

What?

No, no, I'm, I'm, I'm out of here.

I'm, I'm done.

Emmett: Well, leaving is not the answer.

I am just touched that you are taking it so hard.

Chuck: Emmett, you don't understand!

I quit!

No more Buy More.

No more you.

You can take your flag and your job and shove it.

Casey: Ditto.

Emmett: Just what do you think you're gonna do for the rest of your life? !

Chuck; Anything I want.

Beckman; Chuck, what are your plans for the future?

Chuck: Well, I was gonna get a good champagne buzz going on at my sister's wedding followed by a nice extra-long slow dance with my date.

Vocationally speaking?

Oh, that, no, nothing, nothing lined up just yet.

Beckman: How would you feel about working on the new Intersect project?

Your government has been rebuilding its own Intersect.

You've shown real promise.

We'd like you to be an analyst.

Your country is calling you, Mr. Bartowski.

Chuck; Uh, well, then I think my country might have the wrong number, 'cause I'm just Chuck Bartowski, not a hero.

Beckman: Very well.

I guess that concludes Project Bartowski.

Colonel Casey, please issue Mr. Bartowski his final papers before you and your Special Forces team ship out to Waziristan.

Agent Walker, I'll need you for just a moment more.

Chuck: What exactly is this?

Casey: It's your pay packet, numbnuts.

Chuck: Hi-yo! Whoa!

Casey;,Yeah, you know, if you were a true patriot, you wouldn't even cash it.

Chuck: Casey?

Casey: Hmm?

Chuck; Thank you for saving my life at least once a week.

Casey: Hmm.

Chuck: See?

Guys can hug.

Casey: Not if they don't have their man parts.

Chuck: That's a good point.

Casey:,You've done good work here.

Chuck: Thank you.

Casey: It's in case of emergencies.

My personal number, but, uh, your fingers better be on fire when you're dialing.

Beckman: Agent Walker,

I'm sure you'll be pleased to know you're in charge of the new Intersect project, working in tandem with Agent Larkin.

Bryce:,And this time, the Intersect goes in my head.

Sarah: Bryce?

Bryce: Now that we've got the Cube, it's ready for upload.

Beckman; You leave for Zurich together at 0800.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Bryce: Walker and Larkin... together again.

Finally, you can get out of here.

♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪

Chuck: Hey.

Devon; Hey.

Chuck: Everything is going to be perfect.

I even had your Toyota washed for you, man.

Devon; Oh, perfect, thanks, bro.

Chuck; Oh, uh, I'll be right back.

Okay.

Honey; Just a second.

Chuck; Hi, can I talk to my sister?

It will only take a second.

Honey: Oh, no, Chuck.

It's bad luck to see the bride...

Ellie; It's fine, I don't believe in that stuff.

Honey: All right, just get in, get in.

Get in, get in!

Chuck: Hi.

Ellie: What?

Chuck: Look at you.

Ellie, your dreams are coming true.

Ellie: If it were up to me, I would have a small ceremony on a beach.

Sand between my toes, people I love.

But we all make sacrifices for family, right?

Honey: One, two, three...

Where the hell is my blonde?

Chuck; Anyway, uh...

I don't know exactly yet what I'm going to get you for your wedding present.

But I'll start with this: I quit the Buy More today.

Ellie; What? !

Chuck;The Buy More is no more.

Ellie; Oh, Chuck, that is... that is incredible.

What are you going to do with your future?

Chuck: I don't know.

Honey: Oh, there she is!

Ellie: I made my dreams come true, Chuck.

What are you gonna do about yours?

Chuck; Sarah, can we talk for a moment?

Look, I wanted to tell...

Sarah; Oh, uh...

Ellie wanted me to make sure that you have the rings.

Chuck: Yeah, right.

Sarah: You look like a real spy.

Chuck: You look like a real bridesmaid.

Sarah, I...

Sarah; Wait, uh...

There's something that I have to tell you.

Chuck: I can't wait.

I can't wait, I can't wait any longer.

Okay, everyone keeps asking me what I'm going to do with my future, and the truth is, I don't have a clue.

All I do know is that I want you to be in it.

Sarah: Please, I really have to tell you.

Chuck; No.

No g*ns, no lies, just us.

Just like I've always wanted it.

I've recently come into a little bit of money.

So, any place you want to go, any place at all as long as it's sunny, with little umbrella drinks.

What I'm getting at here is...

Sarah Walker, will you do me the honor of taking a vacation with me?

Sarah: Chuck, I'm leaving in the morning.

The details are classified but I'm working on the new Intersect project with Bryce.

Chuck: Bryce.

Sarah: I-I'm so sorry.

I wanted to wait until after the ceremony to tell you.

Chuck: Thank you for coming to the wedding.

Good for the cover.

Steve: Today's a day we'll remember forever, son.

Chuck: Oh, my God!

Roark: I believe we've met before.

Chuck;Ted Roark.

Roark: No, I'm Ted Roark.

You're the CIA agent who's in deep trouble.

By the way, congratulations on your sister's happy day.

Her gown is gorgeous.

Full bodice, love the beading.

Chuck: What the hell do you want?

Roark: Ooh, there's no need to curse.

You know damn well what I want.

Chuck: I...

Roark: I want the Intersect Cube.

Chuck: I-I can't, I can't, I can't give you that.

Roark: Oh, you'll find a way, I'm sure.

Oh, sorry, I forgot the thr*at part.

If you don't deliver that Cube within a half hour, 40 minutes tops with traffic, I'm going to k*ll the bride.

Nice.

Morgan; Hey, Chuck.

Sorry, can I talk to you real quick?

I'm just feeling a little nervous.

Chuck; Buddy, I'm so sorry, I can't talk right now.

Morgan; Hey, hey, hey, hey.

What's the matter?

You could tell me, I... I might be able to help.

Chuck; It's, uh... It's, uh...

It's the rings.

It's the rings. I have to go home and get them.

Find Sarah, pull her aside, and specifically tell her that I forgot the rings.

Morgan: The wedding is in 20 minutes. Ellie is gonna k*ll you.

Chuck; Thanks for that.

Morgan; Unless...

I stall the wedding.

Okay, no one will even know you're gone.

They'll just blame me. It'll be fine.

Chuck: You'd do that for me?

Morgan: Of course I would, dude.

You've saved my ass a million times.

It's about time I saved yours.

But go.

Casey; Oh!

What is that smell?

There he is!

Casey:,Ladies.

You ladies get soft without me?

It's been a while. Good to see you, sir.

Yeah, a long time, Miles...

Chuck: Come on, Casey.

This is Casey. Leave a message.

Casey: Who's ready to do some hunting?

Hurrah! Hurrah!

Morgan; Dr. Awesome.

Woody: Don't take another step.

My wife warned me about you.

Morgan; Good warnings, I hope.

Woody: Retreat two steps back.

Morgan: I need to get in there.

Woody; You...

Sarah: Oh, uh, Dr. Woodcomb, your wife wants me to tell you to go to the car and get backup hosiery.

Does that make sense?

Woody: Man my post. Don't let this one in.

Sarah: Yes, sir.

Morgan; Sarah, listen to me.

Uh, Chuck forgot the rings, so he-he went home to go get them.

Sarah: He what?

Morgan: Yeah, the wedding rings. He blew it.

I have to stall the wedding.

How do I stall a wedding?

Sarah; Uh, do it, Morgan, by any means necessary.

Morgan: Right, right.

How the hell do I stall this wedding?

Think, man, think.

Bryce: It's gone.

Chuck: Bryce?

Bryce: The new Intersect.

Chuck: Where? Where? Where is it? !

Bryce larkin: Chuck, you know I can't tell you that.

That's top secret. Not even Beckman...

Chuck: No, I need it, Bryce. I need it. My family's in danger.

Ted Roark and his FULCRUM team are at the wedding.

He's going to k*ll Ellie unless I bring him the Cube.

Bryce: Roark can't have it.

Chuck: No.

He'll m*rder everyone.

Bryce; No. You're going to give them me.

Chuck; They think you're the Intersect.

Bryce: They've been looking for me all along.

The Cube can't fall into the wrong hands.

I made a promise to Orion.

Chuck; You knew.

Bryce: That was the deal.

Your dad knew I protected you at Stanford.

I was the only spy he would trust.

Chuck: I can't believe you've known this whole time.

Bryce; He wanted to keep you out of this.

But I knew you could handle the Intersect, I knew Sarah would find you, and most importantly, you deserved to know the truth about your father.

He's a hero.

Now, let's go get your sister married.

Yeah, just...

Woody: What's the holdup?

Honey: Uh, the bride is perfect.

She'll only wilt from here.

Devon: Oh, we can't find Chuck.

Honey: Oh, and the blonde is gone, too.

Steve: Sarah?

Honey: Yeah.

Steve: Just now?

Honey; Yes.

Steve: Excuse me.

Woody: This is a really weird family.

Roark: Don't chew gum.

Steve: Sarah?

Something's wrong.

Ted Roark and his men are inside.

Steve: He's alive?

How did... ?

Did you bring a g*n?

Sarah: I'll think of something.

Please, check the chapel and the bridal chamber.

Make sure there's nobody else.

Steve; Wait.

Use the South East entrance, through the kitchen.

Sarah: Okay, thanks.

Morgan: Hello.

It's on? It's on?

Hello.

Uh, I-I'm Morgan Grimes, unofficial member of the wedding party.

Uh, so, uh, we have some pre-wedding entertainment planned for you guys.

So, without further ado, I present to you Jeffster!

It's Jeffster!

Bodania: What's going on?

Big mike: I don't know, but this wedding just got good.

Dude, we got the perfect song.

Knock 'em dead. Knock 'em dead.

Okay, this is in four/four time.

It's in D.

Watch me for the changes.

Devon: Morgan, you are ruining my wedding!

Morgan: Listen to me. If you hit me, know that it only teaches me to hit.

Okay, now for reasons I cannot say, I have to stall this wedding.

Devon; Tell me why.

Morgan; Because Chuck is in trouble, and I'm saving him, man.

Devon: Chuck told you to do this?

Morgan: Yes.

Devon; Okay, okay, I'm with you.

Ellie: Okay, no Sarah.

And that is definitely not the wedding march.

Um, can one of you please go see what's going on out there?

Now! Thank you. Thank you.

Focus on the calm.

Woody: Devon, why are you letting Sam Kinison and an Indian lesbian wreck your wedding?

Devon: Dad, just chill out, okay?

Roark: Come on.

You know what?

I'm feeling a bit peckish.

Chuck: Don't you dare!

Sarah; Chuck.

Chuck: If you ever want to see the Intersect again, you will not touch anything in this room.

Do I make myself clear?

Today is my sister's wedding day, and believe me, you don't want to see her angry.

Roark: Where's the Intersect, Chuck?

Chuck; Uh, a-about that...

Roark: k*ll him.

Chuck; Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!

Ho down. Ho down. I mean, hold on.

Just hold on a second, all right?

Sarah: Finally.

Chuck: I did bring an Intersect with me.

Roark; An Intersect?

Bryce: Mr. Roark.

Roark: Mr. Larkin.

The Human Intersect.

Bryce: Roark, you want me.

Now let Chuck and his people go.

We leave, they stay, nobody else needs to know.

Roark: Terrific plan.

Thing of it is, FULCRUM wants Chuck here dead no matter what.

So, with that said, sh**t Mr. Bartowski, or...

Bryce: Sarah, take him.

Chuck; Oh, God, not the flowers!

Not the centerpieces.

Bryce: I'm dry. Any more knives?

Sarah: Nope. I threw all eight.

Get up!

Chuck: Okay.

Oh, God.

Someone just sh**t me now.

Roark; I can help you with that, Chuck.

Mm.

A real shotgun wedding.

Just think, that terrible pun is the last thing you'll ever hear.

Steve: Hello, Ted.

Waited 20 years to do that.

All clear, sir.

Casey:,You rang.

Ellie: Chuck.

What happened?

Chuck: Uh, everything's all right, Ellie.

There was just a minor centerpiece problem.

Chuck; Oh, no.

Ellie:,Wedding canceled.

This is officially a disaster.

Chuck: I can't believe that my spy life has wrecked my real life.

Again.

I've completely ruined my sister's wedding day.

Steve: I'm sorry, son. I...

If anyone knows how you feel, it's me.

You had no choice, Charles.

You saved her life.

Sarah: Hey.

Chuck: Hey.

Sarah: You okay?

Chuck: No, I'm not.

I'm not okay.

I don't want to have to save my sister using a Special Forces team.

I just want to be a normal guy who helps his sister in normal ways.

Like right now, if I could give her anything in the world, I would...

Excuse me.

I think I might know how to fix this.

You got time for one more mission before you take off?

Sarah; It's not what a normal guy would do.

Roark; Don't forget to lock it.

Casey; Yeah.

Yeah, Walker, what is it?

You're kidding.

Roger that. We're on it.

Chuck: Ellie, are you all right?

Ellie: Chuck, just please go away.

I can't believe your idiot friends ruined my wedding.

I'm just-- I'm never going to forgive Morgan for this.

Chuck; Well, I think you're going to have to.

Because Morgan... and Lester, and Jeff-- they only did what I asked them to do.

Ellie: What?

I Chuck; I did all this.

I forgot your rings.

So I told them to stall.

So if you're going to be mad at someone, you should be mad at me.

Please say something.

Ellie: You... ruined... the most important day of my life.

Chuck: Look...

Ellie, you have to trust me, okay.

Take these... and I'll take care of the rest.

Trust me.

Sir, how do you spell begonia?

Casey: Sound it out.

No, no, no, that clashes with the bunting.

Casey: Yes, I-I appreciate that you require extra time to permit the area, but this is a national security matter.

Priest: We are gathered here to join together

Eleanor Faye Bartowski and Devon Christian Woodcomb in matrimony.

Who gives this woman in marriage to this man?

Steve; We do.

Chuck: We do.

Steve; I love you.

Chuck: I love you.

Casey: Watch him.

Priest: A partnership should not be entered into lightly, but with much consideration.

If any person can show just cause why they should not be joined, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

Bryce:,Sarah.

You're not coming with me, are you?

Priest: Do you have the rings?

Chuck: Whoo!

Casey; Was that... you were talking about, secondhand smoke?

Three hundred.

Marine; Sir.

Roark wants to talk to you.

Casey: Watch my cards.

Watch them.

Better not be about food.

Don't!

Miles; Sorry, sir.

We've been through a lot.

Casey: How long you been FULCRUM?

Miles: I'm not with FULCRUM.

Casey: Go ahead and pull the trigger.

I don't want to look at your face.

You just k*lled three Marines in cold blood.

Miles: Yeah.

But none of them saved my life.

Ellie: Hi.

Thank you.

Chuck: For what?

Ellie: For what? For-for all of this.

For my wedding gift.

This is...

I don't how you did all this.

Chuck: Well, I can't exactly take all the credit.

Ellie; Well, first the beach and now this.

I don't know.

You're pretty amazing, little brother.

Sometimes I think you have super powers.

Chuck; I wish.

Ellie: I know.

Devon; Chuck, man, you saved the day.

Looks like you're the big hero.

Thanks, bro.

Chuck: Well, now I really am your bro.

Devon: Yes, you are.

Chuck: I can't believe you're actually leaving me.

Morgan: All right, don't, Chuck.

I'll cry.

Chuck: We don't want that now, do we?

I'm happy for you, buddy.

I think that you are going to be the greatest Hibachi chef in the world.

Morgan; I don't know, man. This whole...

"making your dreams come true thing" is hard.

And the bigger the dream, the harder it gets.

You know, on one side, you know, the girl you love.

And then on the other, life as you know it.

It's just, you know, friends and family, and job you can't stand.

I don't know, man.

I should just go with Anna, right?

But then I, uh... I'm overthinking this, aren't I?

Chuck: Yeah, yeah, you are.

Go with your heart, buddy.

Our brains only screw things up.

Where's Bryce?

Sarah: Gone.

They're uploading him with the new computer tonight.

Chuck; Off to save the world.

I guess both of you are.

Sarah: You want to dance?

Chuck; You know I do.

Bryce: Mr. Bartowski.

Or is this an Orion conversation?

Steve:,A bit of both.

I reconfigured the Cube for you under two conditions: You stop looking for me, and you leave my son alone.

Bryce: We asked Chuck to be on my team. He said no.

Good-bye, Orion.

Steve: You made changes-- to the Intersect.

To my initial designs.

The data architecture is different.

What does this new computer do?

Bryce: You don't want to know.

Agent Larkin.

It's time to go.

Chuck: You belong out there, saving the world.

I'm just...

I'm just not that guy.

Sarah: How many times do you have to be a hero to realize that you are that guy?

Chuck: But I want more, Sarah.

I want a life.

I want a real life.

Sarah: Chuck, I don't want to save the world.

I want...

Steve: Chuck, the agent... the agent who came for Bryce... he isn't a CIA agent.

He's supposed to be dead.

Chuck: Dad, how could you possibly know that?

Steve: Screw it.

I... I have an Intersect in my head.

I... I tested the computer on myself.

I was young and stupid, but the intel was good.

That man isn't CIA.

Chuck: Bryce.

Bryce is getting the upload tonight.

Steve: They're going to k*ll him.

They'll download the Intersect into their team instead.

Sarah: Well, if they know about Bryce, they know about Casey.

Chuck: Sarah...

Steve: Let her go, son.

You've done your part.

Chuck: No, I have to go.

Steve:,No... no, you don't.

You're not a spy.

Chuck: Dad...

I love her.

Steve: I can't follow you, son, but take this.

Chuck; Thank you.

Steve: Be safe, Charles.

Chuck: Thank you.

Hey, I'm coming with you.

Casey: Stay here-- it's not your mission.

Chuck: Wait... this is the Interect we're talking about, and I'm a Bartowski.

You need me.

Let's go.

Bryce: Did you see her?

Agent Walker?

Bryce: She was amazing, right?

Yes, sir.

Bryce: She loves another guy.

Bad day to be me.

You have no idea.

Miles:,Mr. Larkin.

Open this door!

Sarah: They're already here.

Chuck; Bryce must be in the vault!

Sarah: Chuck, go get help.

Chuck; Help!

Bryce: Hello, Chuck.

Chuck: Bryce.

Bryce, Casey and Sarah are pinned down outside.

Bryce: I'm on it.

Chuck; Oh, my God... oh, my God.

Oh, my God, you've been sh*t.

Bryce: Yeah.

I'm really sorry about this, Chuck.

Chuck: No.

No, it's okay... it's okay.

You're going to be fine-- it's not that bad.

Bryce: Take care of her.

Chuck: Don't... don't say that.

You're not dying.

She needs you, man, okay?

You... you guys are going to go on missions together and do exciting things and save the world.

You'll be a team again-- it will be great.

Bryce: She wasn't going to come.

She wants...

Come on.

Chuck: Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Bryce: This will destroy the Intersect.

This new computer is too powerful.

It's too dangerous.

Chuck: But you need... you need the computer to fight FULCRUM.

Bryce: FULCRUM doesn't matter, all right?

They... they're just... they're just one part of the Ring.

They'll use it against us, Chuck.

You have to do this.

All right?

You have to destroy that computer, and then get out of here.

Chuck: Yeah, but you can b*at them.

You're a real... hero, Bryce.

Bryce.

Oh, my God.

I can't figure out why Bryce did this, why he chose me.

Sarah: You can do anything-- I've seen you in action.

Bryce: You can't put him out in the field.

He won't survive.

Beckman: It's time for you to become a spy.

Chuck: I'm just Chuck Bartowski, not a hero.

Sarah: How many times do you have to be a hero to realize that you are that guy?

Miles: What did you do?

What did you do? !

Chuck: I destroyed it.

You're too late.

Miles: For that, you'll die last.

Sarah: Bryce.

Bryce!

Bryce, no... help me.

No, don't you touch him!

Chuck; There's nothing left.

Casey; So, you lose.

Miles ; You should know this.

No one stops us.

No one ever has.

Sarah: Who are you?

Miles: Spies, Agent Walker.

The best.

Sir, you should look at this.

Sarah: Chuck, did you just flash?

Miles: He uploaded it.

Casey; Oh, Chuck me.

Miles: k*ll him.

Sarah: Chuck?

Chuck; Guys... I know kung fu.