01x02 - Blues for Barnaby

[bunniefuu]

Welcome.

I'm Eric Jonrosh, acclaimed writer of such fictions as The Spoils of Babylon, The Spoils of Ziirtec...

[light music in background]

And many, many more including tonight's exceptional offering, The Spoils Before Dying.

I need my wine here.

♪ ♪

By now, we've learned that a jazz musician by the name of Rock Banyon has been accused of a m*rder he may or may not have committed.

The coppers-- well, that's what we called officers of the law back then-- are hot to convict, but they have granted him three days to clear his name.

The clock is ticking on our--

The wine was promised!

Okay? I don't know if it-- if it was in a contract or not.

What's that?

Hmm?

[scoffs] Of course I see that wine.

It's right here. I'm not an idiot.

For those of you familiar with The Spoils of Babylon, and there are a great many, you will recognize a young Lauoreighiya Samcake in the role of Delores DeWinter.

She was...not yet the international superstar that I would mold her into.

Her...filthy mouth and compulsive infidelities were still a few years away.

The lies, the bare-knuckled fistfights.

The pipes to the kneecaps, the sexual humiliations.

Why did I play with that fire in the first place?

Nothing... extinguishes the fire.

[tense music]

They think I m*rder*d her... the singer by the name of Fresno.

Fresno Foxglove.

Topanga Songbird. I heard her once on the radio.

They found her m*rder*d in the car with a guy by the name of Wilbur Stygamian.

The speed skater?

No, no.

The lithographer.

No.

The world-class scientist.

I was thinking of Stanley Wilburson.

No, that's the inventor.

No, the architect.

No. Now you're thinking about Wilson.

Wilson Stansonian.

Oh, right, yes.

That's the guy.

Anyway, they found her sh*t full of holes like an acoustic ceiling tile made of Swiss cheese run through the grater, only to make the holes more porous than the cheese itself.

Cops are certain I did it.

And I'm not sure that I didn't.

You're not a runner.

I'm worse.

What's that?

I'm a jazz musician without an alibi.

Do you have a place to stay?

Like Madrid?

Madrid was a lifetime ago.

[scoffs]

Delores, there's a man following me.

I made him outside of town.

I see him.

Do you know him?

I've never seen him before in my life.

You're just a little jumpy, that's all.

Maybe.

You need some sleep.

Come to my place and rest, and in the morning we can think of a place where we can go to and run away, someplace far, far away.

Like Madrid?

[tense music stops]

Let's not talk about Madrid.

Why'd you stay away so long?

Why does anyone stay away? I had something better to do.

What are you doing here?

Uh...same as you.

Hiding out.

Rock voice-over: Delores and I talked through the day and into the night.

I had nowhere to go.

We ended up in her room at the Hotel Verdad.

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

Rock.

Rock. Wake up, Rock.

Get out of bed, Rock.

We need to talk.

Fresno?

Will you make me a love sandwich?

Delores DeWinter.

She had a good set of pipes once upon a time, until the sauce and junk clogged 'em up.

I thought you were dead.

Baby, I'm as dead as they come.

Dead Sea takes a look at me and says, "Damn... that lady is dead."

That is dead.

What are you going in Mexico with a washed-up chanteuse like that?

You should talk, after you took off with that world-class scientist, Stygamian.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Delores: Tony?

Ooh, you're jealous.

You were his lover!

Professor Stygamian?

Are you crazy?

Don't lie to me, Fresno.

Rock...

You left the Yard that night to go to him.

Rock, I--

What's troubling you, sweetheart?

Razor clams.

They think I m*rder*d ya.

I blacked out.

Maybe I did k*ll ya.

No.

♪ Razor clams...♪

You create.

You don't destroy.

Creation is a part of destruction.

You're making no sense.

No sense is the only sense worth making in a world that's predicated on nonsense!

Get that squirrel out of the fridge.

You lost me, lover. You're babbling.

Why'd you come here, Fresno?

I've come to warn you.

Stay on the run, Rock.

Don't go back.

[dramatically] Doom awaits you.

[voice echoing] Doom!

Doom!

Bye.

Doom!

[continues echoing]

Fresno. Fresno!

Fres!

Fres.

Rock? Rock, what is it?

[panting] Fresno was here!

There's nobody here but us.

I'm telling you, I'm telling you.

She was trying to warn me, Delores.

You were dreaming, Rock. It was just a dream.

No.

Come to bed.

She's scared.

I'm scared.

What could scare a dead woman?

Come on. Come to sleep.

[dramatic chord]

[dog barks in distance]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[trigger clicks]

♪ ♪

[clattering]

[exciting music]

♪ ♪

[musical build-up]

You fight real good... for a piano player.

Had a lot of practice on a little island in the South Pacific named Iwo Jima.

Never heard of it.

You been following me since the Iguana Cafe.

I want the gold cigarette case, the one you stole off of the world-class scientist, Dr. Stygamian.

Get in line, Salizar, if you wanna pin another body on me.

Ah, yes, the policia.

They think perhaps love is the motive, no?

I know that you--

[b*llet clatters]

[trigger clicks]

Now, get me that case.

What if I told you I was innocent?

Innocent men don't rocket out of their home country to a foreign land in the middle of the night on a borrowed motorbike.

Men like me are never innocent in the U.S.

Oh, you are boring me.

You don't have the cigarette case? Okay.

You know where it is.

What's inside that cigarette case?

You find me that case.

[click]

The other five are in the chamber.

[cat yowls]

[meowing]

[meows echoing]

Delores, wake up. We gotta go.

Did you get any food when you were out?

No. I got this.

Okay.

Well, I guess I can fire up the hibachi--

We gotta go now.

He comes with us.

Hurry--there's no time.

What's his name?

You name him, lover.

Okay.

Come on, Delores. You can do this.

[overlapping voices]

If I only had a drink.

A drink would help. [gulps]

Pressure. [voices continue]

It's too heavy of a burden. I'm worthless.

He's going to leave me. I can't even name a cat.

How did I get into this mess?

Hold it together, Delores. [voices continue]

Hold it together!

Somebody help me--please!

[voices stop]

What about Dizzy?

[jazzy music]

Rock: Delores, Dizzy, and I hightailed it out of Mexico City like a greased poker chip on an air hockey team.

We saw the world.

Life was good.

But then I remembered...

I only had two days to clear my name.

We headed back to L.A.

I wanted to pay a visit to an old friend at the city morgue.

[slow jazz]

Rock: After I dropped Delores and Dizzy off at my flat, I drove down to the city morgue.

The dude that ran the place was an old army buddy of mine, Gary Dunhill.

Rock Banyon, you old son of a g*n.

What brings you to my dead corner of the world?

I need your help, friend.

Just like the old days.

Did a stiff come in here the other day by the name of Stygamian?

Hmm, let me see.

Stanley. Stonmanian.

Stevens.

Johnson.

Ah!

Stygamian.

Came in the other day.

b*llet holes everywhere.

Came in with a sexy chanteuse by the name of Fresno Foxglove.

Fresno Foxglove.

[gasps] You know her?

Did I know her?

We used to be in love once.

[laughing]

Well, nobody's gonna love her ever again.

Not with those b*llet holes all over her face.

[chuckling]

Say, did this guy Stygamian have anything on him when he d*ed?

Yeah, a few things.

I put 'em in an evidence bag for the cops.

Say, Rock, are you in some kind of trouble?

[sighs]

Same kinda trouble he was in.

[laughing]

Oh.

[slow jazz continues]

♪ ♪

Thank you, Beatrice.

So what were you looking for?

A cigarette case. A gold one.

Mm. I didn't see it.

If I had, I would have pawned it.

Thanks for your honesty.

Long sh*t anyway.

Well, what was in it? I mean, besides cigarettes.

Maybe my freedom.

Well, looks like a bunch of junk to me.

Maybe...

There's gotta be a clue here somewhere.

The shipping schedule to the San Pedro docks.

A receipt from the Clyde Hotel.

Some sort of complicated math equation on a cocktail napkin?

It could be calculus or something.

No, it's trigonometry.

See the coefficient symbol?

Yeah. I-I knew that.

Uh, and a... a type of funny matchbook cover.

Mm.

And a key with a number on it maybe to a safe deposit box or a locker.

Or... the key to the city.

I mean, I know it's kinda small for that, but what if the mayor is super-tiny?

Mm.

Map to the stars?

With Montgomery Clift's house circled.

Hmm.

Ticket to Madame Butterfly, and a broken Rolex stopped at 2:46 a.m.

[sighs]

Not much to go on here.

Not a lot to go on here.

Not a lot... to go on here.

So...

Not a lot to go on... here?

Maybe--

Not a lot to go on here.

But--

Not a lot... to go on here.

Maybe we--

Not a lot to go on here.

All the same, I'd like to hold on to these things for a couple of days.

Sure, Rock.

Hey, wanna take a look at her?

Oh, uh...

I don't think I can handle that.

You can handle it.

I cleaned her up. She looks real good.

It's like she's sleeping. [whispers] Come on.

[dramatic chords]

♪ ♪

[music turns eerie]

It's cold in here, Rock.

[eerie music continues]

It's cold everywhere, Fresno.

I told you not to get caught up in this mess, Rock.

Well, I'm in it now.

Find Wardell. He knows who k*lled me.

Why can't you tell me who k*lled you?

Because I'm dead, Rock.

Although, there's a chance I'm not, and I'll turn up somewhere in an interesting plot twist later on, still very much alive.

What are the odds?

Slim, baby.

Keep your money in your pocket.

What's it like?

Being dead?

Yeah.

It's okay.

Not much I have to do.

Odds are...

I'ma see you real soon.

I'd say that's a safe bet.

Gary: Rock. [ahem]

She was, uh... she was telling me something.

Yeah, I know. I talk to 'em all the time.

But do you, uh... you, uh...you know, kiss 'em?

[laughing]

He does.

Rock: I needed to think, so I went to the place where I always did my best thinking-- seated behind the 88s.

You think I'm a k*ller?

Alistair: Rocko! Back so soon?

How was your trip?

Get lost.

Old chap chapperson!

How goes it?

Picked up a cat.

Cheerio.

Picked up Delores DeWinter also.

Was hoping maybe you could get her some work.

She is trouble with a lowercase "t."

All the same, I'd appreciate it if you try and find something for her.

And...how would you show your appreciation?

Hey, you still got me booked at the Artie Mann show?

If you make that show tonight, I'll gladly secure Delores gainful employment at the Lighthouse.

You're top-notch, Alistair.

Top-notch.

Ha ha ha.

[clink]

Is she...clean?

About as clean as me.

[pills rattling]

And those are prescribed by a doctor.

Yeah. Several.

I see.

Ah.

I'll see you at the Artie Mann show.

All right.

A-a-and don't forget about that strings album you promised me.

Rock?

[atonal jazz notes]

Ah...trying to skip town, huh, pally?

Never know who you're gonna run into on a little neighborhood stroll, do ya?

Oh, you're back, Rock.

I was so scared.

You baked a cake. That cake looks real delicious.

Right now I gotta talk to these two men for a bit.

Sure, Rock. Should I offer them some cake?

No. No, they don't want no cake.

Well, now, hang on.

What kinda cake we talking about?

Uh, it's a chocolate banana.

I didn't have all the ingredients, so I just made do with what I had.

Let me go talk to these men, and when I get back--

Stop stalling, Rock.

I thought you gave me three days to solve this m*rder.

You're not doing too well, then, are you, palomino?

There's no banana in this cake.

What do you got so far?

No more than you.

Or you wouldn't be here right now.

Now, you listen to me, Mr. Laugh-A-Minute, you're not the only guy that ever cut a record in this town.

I made the charts a couple of years ago with my group the Four Robins.

[gasps]

Uh-huh.

Maybe you heard it on the radio.

I have. - A Kiss from a Star.

- Kiss from a Star.

Chip, don't.

Went something like this...

Oh, boy.

[high, off-key] ♪ A kiss from a star ♪

It's a falsetto to begin.

♪ Abracadabra, square balloons ♪
♪ We can honeymoon in your car ♪
♪ That's what I call askin' ♪
♪ For ♪
♪ A kiss from a star ♪

[whispers] Yeah!

Whoo!

Not my cup of tea.

Not your cup of tea, huh?

Well, let me tell you, pal, it was a real gasser.

Made it up to 554 on the top 1,000.

Kinda peaked right there. Didn't do much more than that.

Wasn't our fault, though. Was marketed all wrong.

Lester in marketing--yeah, we took care of him, all right.

Just like we're gonna take care of you.

That's all ya got?

Why, I oughta--

All right, all right.

That's it--this is not the time nor the place.

Chip, we're not doing it. We talked about this.

All right, all right, fine, fine, fine.

You good?

All right, okay.

I'm gonna let go.

Yeah.

All right. You were never in danger.

Are you done wasting my time?

No, we're just stopping by, checking on ya.

I mean, who knows?

Maybe you found something out we don't know.

Like maybe about this... Stygamian fellow.

[gasps] Oh!

I don't know him.

What do you know about him, Rock?

You guys got all the answers.

No, the brass won't let us turn over that rock. Rock.

So I guess you figure you put the squeeze on me and I'd get you the answers--is that it?

No. Okay.

That's right.

That's the idea.

Well...

Well, I quit.

Oh, you quit, huh?

Well, I guess the next place we'll see you is in the hot seat, then, Rock.

Briggs: Point is, Rock, you don't have any choice.

Either you find out about Stygamian, or you dead.

You're.

How dead?

They don't come any deader.

You'll be telling Deadtime Stories about corpseback riding.

I smell motor oil.

Am I wrong?

Yes. I was out of chocolate.

You called it initially a chocolate banana cake.

Yes. That was my intention.

But if there's no chocolate in it...

And very little banana...

No.

What's in there?

Um, it's just plain white frosting, just vanilla.

But it's pink.

Yes. Oh, I did cut my finger.

[dreamy '50s orchestration]

♪ ♪

[dreamy music continues]

♪ ♪
♪ ♪

[light end notes]

♪ ♪

It's very hard to describe.

They were rings of onions...

Okay? You follow me so far?

Dipped in--in batter of spicy dough and just fried to perfection.

I've never seen it before. Ingenious.

Ingenious, really.

The chops were not good. I wouldn't recommend the chops.

Which is strange, 'cause the place is called Just Chops.

Well...perfect should never get in the way of good.

That's what I've always said.

I hope you enjoyed this fully restored masterpiece.

Please, join me again, if you can.

There. They're paying me to say stuff like that.

[chuckles]