01x08 - So the Dad is Now Mom?

[bunniefuu]

Jazz: Tonight on "I Am Jazz"...

Jeanette: I miss hearing you sing.

I kind of want to do some kind of gig.

I want you to do it with me, though.

What?

I've never sang with my sister on a stage before.

It's really intimidating.

There's something that I want to talk to you about, though.

My dad actually came out to me as transgender.

Oh, my God. Wow.

Would your dad like to meet Jazz?

Man: Jazz and Ari.

We're gonna keep you, little guy.

Greg: I consider us an ordinary family with some extraordinary circumstances.

I thought of it as an oddity.

I was devastated.

Jeanette: Jazz asked me, "what am I?"

And she would say, "Mommy, am I a boy, or am I a girl?"

This is my sister.

She's a girl.

She's a girl.

She's a girl.

I am transgender.

Greg: We love her just the way she is.

I am a girl. I am an artist. I am Jazz.

Jeanette: Read this one.

Nothing like having a general fortune.

"You will be fortunate in everything."

I better play the numbers on the back of this thing.

This one's mine.

"Your charming smile is attracting everyone around you."

[Laughs]

That's a lie.

"People find it difficult to resist your persuasive manner."

Oh!

Ooh! That's all true.

Like with you and Zach.

Want anything to drink? I'll be right back.

Wait. Are you guys like a thing?

No. We're just friends.

What does that have to do...

[Wolf-whistles]

When am I persuasive with him?

For your love. [Laughs]

Friends. People are pushing...

No. How are you guys, though?

Well, 'cause we like him.

Okay, well, let things happen by itself.

♪ Ooh, I need you ♪

[laughing]

Ari: Remember when Grandpa got mad at you?

We were on a road trip with Grandma and Grandpa, and, like, we're in the car, and she just didn't stop singing.

I'll be like, "a-ya!"

[Laughs] Exactly. It's, like, shocking, you know?

You actually have a beautiful voice, but what you tend to do is, like, get louder and louder and louder.

At first, Grandpa was like, "oh, she's like a little songbird."

[Laughter]

He got so annoyed.

He's like...

[Raspy voice] "Child, I need to drive!"

I can't help it. I just like to sing.

I kind of want to do some kind of gig.

That'd be cool.

I miss hearing you sing.

I used to go to your gigs all the time.

Daddy didn't go as much as I did.

I was a very loyal fan.

Music really is a huge part of my life.

It's basically my boyfriend.

I started when I was little singing, and then I got into bands, and I stopped that 'cause of school.

So now that I'm out of school, it's really important that I get back into it, because I have time.

[European accent] Mm! You have no band.

[European accent] I don't have a band.

Jeanette: Some guy asked her to be in a band, and she was like, "yeah, but he wanted, you know, fringe benefits."

Like, "oh, okay." [Laughs]

That was nice to share.

Well, she didn't do it.

[Chuckles]

She didn't do it.

So she has principles. That's good.

Yeah, she has morals.

We taught her well.

Yes.

Super duper.

Jazz: I haven't heard you sing in so long.

I want you to do it with me, though, like an open mike thing.

What?

Jazz used to be acting, singing, dancing, and they kept casting her as a dancer, and she wanted to sing.

And she never got a singing part, and it made her feel really bad about herself, and she quit.

So I think that she got this complex, like, "I'm not a good singer."

You guys would be great. It would be so cute.

We can harmonize.

You guys can do a duet.

[Groans]

Ari is definitely the musical person in the family.

It's her main passion.

And for me, it's really just intimidating, because she's an amazing performer, and I'm just not.

Do they have a lot of open mike nights around here?

I can find out.

What song would we sing?

I think we should write one or something.

That's a lot of work.

Yeah, but I think it'd be fun.

Ari: We're always singing together in the car, around the house, but never really on stage.

But when Jazz puts herself in places that she feels uncomfortable, it helps her grow as a person.

I mean, the worst that can go wrong is I'm not comfortable doing that ever again.

I'm all about trying new things, so I'll try it, and I'll see what happens.

High-five Mom.

Just like trying new things with boys, too.

Ooh!

Oh, did I bring that up? Okay, back to singing.

Back to the singing.

How about we sing, yeah?

All right, back to singing.

Jazz, come down here with pen and paper.

We're gonna write the song.

Ooh. You ready to do this?

Ooh. Your guitar.

So, what should we write this song about?

I was thinking...

I thought you had a better idea about that.

I actually was thinking that we should write something about, like, the ocean.

The ocean?

Just 'cause it's so beautiful and there's so many beautiful words that describe it.

Wait. I love the ocean.

I know.

Mermaid.

The word "mermaid" must be in the song.

Mm, maybe. We'll see, we'll see.

We have to, like, come up with a basis, and then we can see if we can throw a mermaid in there.

Deep blue.

Waves.

Waves.

Saltiness.

Saltiness.

Sand.

I don't want it to be cheesy. I want it to be very, like...

♪ A mermaid comes through the saltiness of the sand ♪

Yeah, no, that's weird. That's weird.

So I'm thinking like...

♪ When I'm lost and all alone ♪
♪ And the world will bring me down ♪
♪ I know a place that I will go ♪
♪ Where my problems will be drowned ♪

Something like that.

♪ Problems will be drowned ♪

So, just sing something like, "when I'm lost and feeling alone" to this chord.

Ready?

♪ When I'm lost and feeling all alone ♪

Something like that, yeah.

And then you create your own melody to that note.

Do you understand?

Yeah.

Are you inviting people to watch us?

'Cause that might be weird.

But I want to invite people if I know we're gonna sound good.

I've never sang on a stage before, and I've never sang with my sister on a stage before.

And, I mean, it's just a completely new experience, and I really want to be proud of it.

I guess that anxiety is what makes me nervous.

Okay, what do we do if we forget the words?

We go...

Wait. I already forgot the words.

♪

I love the beach.

Yeah. I want to go swimming.

Me too.

I just want to dive in.

Ari: Zach is my friend from school, and I do see us being friends for a while, just 'cause we have a lot in common.

And he's nice to me, I'm nice to him, and that's all we really need.

Yeah. It was nice at the pool the other day.

It was nice meeting your family and talking to Jazz for the first time and...

Yeah. They all loved you. They really did.

Yeah. They were really cool.

There's something that I want to talk to you about, though.

Um... Meeting Jazz was a little bit bigger part of my life than you probably understand.

What do you mean?

About a year ago, my dad actually came out to me as transgender.

Meeting Jazz was a little bit bigger part of my life than you probably understand.

What do you mean?

About a year ago, my dad actually came out to me as transgender.

Oh, my God, wow.

It's crazy, like, honestly. Like, I'm shocked.

If you want to know something crazy, my dad actually saw a video of Jazz on YouTube, and my dad showed me this video and was like, "this is what I want my life to be."

Wow.

"Like, it's wrong, you know?

Like, I was born in the wrong body.

It's just like this little girl."

So Jazz changed her life?

Jazz, exactly.

Wow.

Like, what are the odds that we both have a transgender family member?

I mean, that's not even why we met in the first place.

We met because we go to school together.

And it's just... it's crazy.

But I also think it's very hard for Zach, because when someone comes out as transgender to your family, it not only changes their lives, but it changes yours.

Like, how did you feel about it at first?

You were just like...

It's just hard.

Like, one second, my dad taking me to a comic-book convention, and then, the next day, it's my dad picking me up in the car dressed as a woman.

I just felt confused, and I was like, "is my dad the same person?

Does this person love me?

What's going on? Does my dad like boys now?"

All of these things that are going through your mind that you really have no clue about.

There wasn't a second where I didn't question, like, "why is this happening?"

Like, "what do you mean?

How is this gonna change my life, change your life?"

But the bottom line to me is that she was just, like, happier.

When I first found out about my sister, I was really young.

And, obviously, it's really hard when you're young, 'cause you're just, like, a lot more closed-minded.

And I was, like...

I wanted to be the only girl, like, in the family, and I was like, "I'm the princess. No, no, no."

But, then, like, my dad really hit me hard with, like, su1c1de rates and stuff like that, and that stuff's just like...

I'm just, like, I never would want what my sister...

And you'd rather a happy sister than a dead brother.

Yeah, exactly, for sure.

My dad has been going through a lot of hardship with the transition, and I've always been a very protective person.

And usually, my dad is the protector, but in this circumstance, my dad is the target of people when we walk to the streets, and that's an emotional roller coaster for me, because that really hurts my feelings.

Would your dad like to meet Jazz?

'Cause I think that would be really awesome.

Maybe you can come to this, like, open mike thing we're doing.

I think she would absolutely love to meet one of her inspirations.

I've tried to talk to other close friends, and it's been hard, because they can be sympathetic, but they can't be empathetic, because they really don't understand what's going on and know what it feels like.

Like, it's just, like, meant to be that we're friends.

That's so cool.

♪

I don't know where to go.

Ari: Are we going for like a nice or more casual look?

Well, we're gonna be singers for the night, so we got to look like little rock stars.

So do you want to look, like, pretty?

These would be good on the booty.

[Chuckles] I always wear pants like this.

Ari's like the closest thing you would find to a flower child, I think.

Jeanette: She calls herself a hippie.

You know, she'd be burning bras or something if it was back in the day.

[Chuckles]

Okay, I shouldn't have said that.

[Laughs]

Ooh! I think I'm gonna dig this.

So, I was talking to Zach.

Mm-hmm.

And he told me that his dad is transgender.

Are you for real?

Yeah.

Wow.

So the dad is now mom?

She says to call her Ava in public.

So, when did she transition?

Like, she came out to her family like a year ago, so it's been just going on...

And how have they reacted?

I think they've been pretty supportive.

That's really crazy.

And Ava really wants to meet you.

I really want to meet her, too.

It's just an overall crazy coincidence that Ari and Zach went to the same school and Zach lives in our hometown and Zach's dad is transitioning.

I mean, you never used to hear about being transgender, and now people are able to be their authentic selves.

And you know what would be even better?

What? If we can sing that song good?

If she became your mother-in-law.

Oh, my God.

[Laughs]

Oh, my God.

♪

Thank you so much for coming.

Yeah, sure.

We're really excited about this.

Ari: I invited my friend Jared to come over and play guitar so we can rehearse the song before the open mike.

Hello.

Hey. I'm Jared.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.

Two J's.

All right.

Wait. So how do you guys know each other?

Just like friends, through music.

Friends?

Yes.

Okay, okay, okay.

[Both laugh]

You ready?

♪ When I'm lost and all alone ♪
♪ And the world has got me down ♪

When Ari sings, she becomes this other person.

♪ Take me away ♪

You can see it in her face.

♪ Can't I live in the sea? ♪

Whatever it is she does, she feels every note.

♪ I'll escape the day-to-day ♪

[Groans]

Jeanette: But little Jazz is a perfectionist.

Ooh, I sound weird.

She's methodical. She has plans in her head.

Sometimes, she overthinks a little bit.

♪ Flowing free, flowing fast ♪
♪ Splash around with my friends ♪

Does my part sound kind of low?

[Deep voice] * Flowing deep, flowing... *

Sounds fine.

Okay.

You sound fine to me.

I put pressure on myself to be the best and do everything perfect.

Like, when the teacher gives a small assignment and you just have to color, like, a square, I have to make it the square of life.

Like, I have to make it perfect.

Like, that's just me. I can't change it.

♪ Feeling like Poseidon's daughter ♪
♪ Floating on the top ♪
♪ Of the bay ♪

Did you say two of the same line?

Do you want to try that again?

It sounded okay, but we got to get it better.

Are you feeling nervous at all as, like, your first time doing this?

♪ Eh, nah, nah, nah ♪

Jeanette: I know how she thinks...

"everybody thinks that Ari's great and I suck."

♪

Hey, I'm ready.

You ready?

Yeah. I'm not the one singing.

I'm so excited.

[Both vocalizing]

♪ Do, re, mi, fa, sol, la ♪
♪ Mi, re, do, mi, so, mi, do ♪
♪ Aah ♪

Okay, we sound... Okay, we sound good.

Jeanette: Hi!

Hey.

Are you guys ready?

Jazz: I can't believe this is actually happening.

Are you nervous? You're nervous, aren't you?

I can tell. I can see it in your eyes.

Not only does Ari have a great voice, but she also has great stage presence, and I've never actually heard Jazz sing on a stage like this.

Jazz is definitely nervous.

Jazz: Are Zach and Ava here?

Yeah. I think so.

Good evening, everybody. Welcome to tonight's open mike.

[Cheers and applause]

We've got an awesome, awesome lineup of fantastic artists for you tonight, so you'll see some amazing performances.

We're gonna start it off with Natasha and Michelle, everybody.

[Cheers and applause]

Are you nervous at all, though?

Of course.

I get this little feeling in my stomach every time I'm going on any stage.

♪ Tonight ♪
♪ And I know that it's all right without you ♪
♪ In the brilliant night sky ♪

[cheers and applause]

♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ So-o-o ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪

Thank you so much.

[Cheers and applause]

Man: Up next, we have Jazz and Ari.

What happens if I mess up?

Keep going.

Give them a big round of applause.

[Cheers and applause]

Yeah, yeah!

Yeah, thanks.

So, this is a song that we wrote together as sisters, and we hope you enjoy.

♪ When I'm lost and all alone ♪
♪ And the world has got me down ♪
♪ I know a place that I can go ♪
♪ Where I can watch my problems drown ♪
♪ I'll escape the day-to-day ♪
♪ Struggles that I can't stand ♪
♪ Looking out over the ocean ♪
♪ With my toes all in the sand ♪
♪ I'm gonna step out into the water ♪
♪ Floating on the top of the bay ♪
♪ Flowing free, flowing fast ♪
♪ It's all about my skin ♪
♪ Flowing free, flowing fast ♪
♪ Eh, nah, nah, nah ♪

I know who she is.

How did you meet her?

Hey!

This is my dad, Ava.

♪ Flowing free, flowing fast ♪
♪ It's all about my skin ♪
♪ Flowing free, flowing fast ♪
♪ Eh, nah, nah, nah ♪

How did you meet her?

I know who she is.

I feel bad, because Jazz is a perfectionist.

I know how she thinks...

"oh, everybody thinks that Ari's great and I suck."

At least we get to do it again.

[Laughter]

[Cheers and applause]

♪ Your palace, lord of the sea ♪
♪ Take me away, yeah ♪
♪ My heart belongs to the ocean ♪
♪ Take me away, yeah ♪
♪ Floating on the top ♪
♪ Of the bay ♪

[cheers and applause]

I am so proud of Jazz and Ari.

They are so adorable together.

Their voices complement each other.

I'm the proudest mom right now.

Man: Encore, encore!

Good job.

I know Jazz wasn't very comfortable 100% as I was, just 'cause she's never done it before, but she finished the song, so, like, that was the important part.

Yeah. It was different for you, right?

Zach: Hey, guys.

Hey!

This is my dad, Ava.

Hello.

Hi.

No, I'm a hugger.

[Laughs]

Nice to finally meet you.

Hi! Nice to meet you!

How are you doing?

You too.

I really love your tattoos.

Thanks.

They're really cool.

Well, it's funny, 'cause when I told the kids about me being trans and that I just started transitioning, you know, like, I think Zach said, "well, Dad, look at you."

You know, 'cause I have flowers and butterflies.

Yeah. She always planned on, like, putting the tattoos where they could be covered for work, but now, as a girl, you're not wearing the tie and everything, so...

And my youngest daughter, she had found lip gloss in my center console of my car like a year and a half ago, almost two years ago, and she's like, "Dad, this would look great on you!"

You know, I'm like, "well, if you only knew, you know?"

But she, too. She said, "oh, I know."

I said, "what do you mean, you know?"

She said, "well, Dad, look at you.

You're not a boy. You're a girl."

I'm like, "okay."

[Laughs]

How has it been for you? Has it been hard?

I've had some ups and downs.

You know, I lost a job after nine years of employment, which was tough.

Someone I was dating wasn't okay with it, and that was... you know, been really difficult.

I just think you're so courageous.

After establishing your life, you were still brave enough to just come out, no matter what anyone said.

For me, I was just young, and I was like, "oh, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl," and... poof!... I'm a girl.

In the beginning of my discovery, I was angry.

You know, why me? Why today?

Why can't I be like Jazz?

But I didn't quite understand who I was for most of my life.

One day, I typed in the computer, "I'm a boy, and I feel like a girl," and yours was the second video that came up.

So it was like I had an answer to it.

I wasn't broken. It wasn't wrong.

I wasn't this strange person that I felt my whole life.

I realized that there was actually something attached to what I felt and what I was.

So, this is how I feel inside, and this is who I truly am.

Being where I am today is what I was meant to be.

Having supporters...

Zach and my family, my parents, has been really...

I don't know that I could have done it without it.

It feels good.

I'm happier now than I've ever been.

Jazz: It's definitely harder for Ava to find love and to find acceptance, because she transitioned so much later in life, and people look at her differently.

And that's true bravery, the people who are able to overcome the judgments and prejudices created by society.

I just want to give you a hug.

Wow. Thank you.

You just inspire me so much.