02x08 - Time After Time

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Awkward...

Who is this Ben guy?

He's the guy your mom should have married.

My mom's staying at the hotel, so we've got the place to ourselves.

Ask Matty, he had a piece of your Hamilton Pie long before you did.

And one more thing...

I love you, Jake Rosati.

Gone were the secrets and heartache of my past.

I was looking at my future.

[Chicken Dance plays]

[Time slows]

Timing. It was everything, and my time had arrived.

I was head over heels for Jake and ready to show him, because our love was the stuff of poetry, of novels, of blogs.

We were like Romeo and Juliet, except our love story didn't involve a fake su1c1de.

Been there, done that.

How about we make our getaway before things get ugly?

[Scoffs] They already have.

What's wrong?

Us.

But "us" was great. "Us" was perfect.

"Us" was about to go back to my house and do it.

If you're not ready, it's totally okay.

There's no pressure.

I don't want to do this here.

So how about we do this at my house?

Maybe in my bed?

I'm not feeling it.

This relationship. I don't want to lead you on.

Are you being serious?

Yeah.

I think our timing is off.

What does that mean?

I'm breaking up with you.

[Chicken Dance fades in]

♪ ♪

[Upbeat dance music]

What's wrong? You look weird.

Are your control tops making you nauseous?

I think I'm in shock.

Flower girl, report to the dais, pronto.

This wedding is about to go off the rails, and it is my duty as head bridesmaid to take charge.

You were the default bridesmaid.

And lucky for the lady I'm an experienced one at that.

Oh, J "Operation Back Off Backstreet Boy" is in full effect.

[Indistinct chatting, giggling]

Someone spread a rumor that Ben's got a big sham-a-lama ding-dong.

"Someone" being me. Now scoot.

Let's move this along before Ally passes out.

Jenna, I don't even know what to say, and I always have something to say.

Okay, now I do.

Why would Jake dump you? He busted out the "L" word. You must have misunderstood.

It's kind of hard to misunderstand "I'm breaking up with you."

No misinterpreting that.

He said our timing was off.

Maybe I waited too long to say "I love you," and he started to doubt me.

That doesn't make sense. I'm gonna get the real deets.

Please.

My heart was broken into a million pieces, but unfortunately, my mind was still intact, which meant I couldn't ignore the unsettling realization that I was... devastated.

Trouble in paradise?

Just feeling moved by the magic.

They're called feelings. You don't have them.

That's where you're wrong, Jenna.

I do have feelings.

When I see you sitting there, all alone, in your little baby dress, with your little sad face, I feel... so glad I'm not you! [Laughs]

Ladies and gentlemen, please grab a partner and stand by to join the bride and groom in their first dance.

[Cheers and applause] My lady.

[Slow instrumental] Whoo-hoo!

♪ It's an empty space that stands beside me now ♪

My bad, not time for the first dance yet.

Make it a dance mix.

[Upbeat dance music]

♪ ♪

[Video game g*nf*re]

Yes! I totally destroyed your bunker.

How's that taste, McKibben?

Eh, like victory.

[Booming] Game over.

That is so not fair.

I told you not to take your eyes off the screen.

[Teasing]

[Laughs]

[Phone rings]

Hey. How's the wedding?

I broke up with Jenna.

Wait, what?

Why?

I don't think she's being honest with me.

About what?

That other guy.

The guy that she slept with.

You remember him, right?

The guy she was with before you?

Or during. I don't know.

I just have a gut feeling that that guy is still around.

Dude, how could she be seeing another guy?

She's always with you.

And you.

Are you sure there's not something that you've picked up on?

Maybe something that I don't see?

No.

As my best friend, if you knew something...

You'd tell me, right?

Yeah.

Then tell me, what don't I know?

I-I think you know it all, man.

Jenna really likes you, and only you.

Listen, how about we meet up? We can talk this out.

I gotta go.

What's going on?

Jake just broke up with Jenna.

Hmm.

[Funky dance music]

She really is in love.

Yeah.

You can tell by how hard she's humping his leg.

Hey. Don't be sad, L-dawg.

You could get married again.

I mean, you still got your looks, and I'm sure there are thousands of dating websites that would love to sign you up.

You may have to lower your standards, but you should have no trouble roping in some frumpster like Dan.

[Whimpers]

I'm gonna get some air.

Why the pouty face, J?

Just tired.

Tired of my life.

Lighten up, girl. It's a wedding, not a funeral.

Where's the boy scout?

Why aren't you two tearing it up?

[Scoffs] I don't know.

I just need a break.

You can't take a break. You've got obligations.

What is with you Hamiltons?

This is not your day, okay? It's not your day!

Rosati, what's going on?

Jenna has this crazy idea you broke up with her.

It doesn't sound that crazy to me.

I don't get it. You guys are perfect.

Worthy of your own moniker, like "Jakenna."

Perfection can be deceiving.

Why are you talking like a fortune cookie?

Rosati, you're the good guy.

The kind of guy who reams Sadie just to protect his girlfriend's friend.

I did that for you.

You're my friend.

And as your friend, it's my job to lay out the obvi.

If you really wanted to dump Jenna, why are you still here?

[Dance music begins] Good point.

Jake, I really need to talk to you.

What's happening?

He definitely DTR'd. It's over.

I tried to get to the bottom of it, but he kept giving me weird non-answers like my cell phone robot.

Shenanigans.

You have to call shenanigans.

Then I call it. He owes me an explanation.

I'll just keep working this wedding!

For no reason.

Hey, beautiful.

Ricky, I told you to stay the--

Hi, honey. What can I do for you?

[Slick] You can take off my pants.

Seriously?

Ugh.

Jake!

Jake!

Jake, stop!

Jake, please!

Busted!

Mm!

Damn you, Ben.

[Laughs] All right.

You know, I have been trying to get to you all night, but your daughter has been on my tail.

[Laughs]

I don't know if you know this, but, uh, she has you on lockdown.

[Laughs]

[Car starts]

[Banging]

Get out of the way!

No.

Not until you explain to me what's going on.

Everything was great, and then you just dump me out of the blue?

Move, Jenna!

What happened?

Nothing happened.

Did you get my message?

Yeah. Yeah, I got your message loud and clear that this isn't working.

Why are you being so cold?

I'm just-- I'm so confused.

Just-- please, explain this to me.

Just talk to me.

Fine. Get in.

[Door opens]

[Engine revs]

We were gonna go out for some Mexican food, 'cause we took Spanish, so, Dan and I, we're like, "let's go get some enchiladas," 'cause we both love enchiladas, like, a lot.

We were pretty crazy growing up.

[Sighs] The problem is he's got no timing.

With comedy, it's all about the timing.

Someone needs to put him out of his misery so I can be put out of mine.

El gato!

[Claps] Wrap it up, Gary!

[Stammers] So, yeah, so-- cheers.

To my best friend and his hot piece of tail.

Okay, that's good, all right. [Crowd murmurs]

[Sighs] Well, it looks like our maid of honor is MIA at the moment.

I'm Valerie, head bridesmaid, and I've known Abby for--

Ally.

I've known Ally for... [Exhales]

Two weeks now?

Which doesn't seem like a long time, but if you think about it, it's about a third of the time that she's known the groom.

[Laughter]

So let's just pretend like we're dealing in dog years, right?

[Laughter]

See, Gare?

How it's done. [Laughter]

I'd be lying if I said I never thought about you.

Well, I know that we missed our chance in high school, but... now that we are [Old man voice] older and wiser.

[Laughter]

Hmm, I might be older, but I am definitely not wiser.

I don't know if you heard, but... I ruined my marriage, and... my daughter hates me.

Utterly impossible. The only one who could ever hate you is me.

[Laughing] You? Why you?

For breaking my heart and choosing the other guy, what's his name?

Come on, you were never heartbroken.

For years. And I will stay that way, unless you make good on an outstanding debt.

And what would that be?

You offered me a kiss good-bye.

Mm. Which, as I recall, you did not collect.

But, see, that was a mistake, and I would like to right that wrong.

[Romantic music swells]

Suddenly, my timing had gone from bad to worse.

[Phone beeps]

Dad, you need to pick up.

Dad? Dad. Dad, stop talking and listen.

Ben is here.

[Laughter]

And then, after a few Cuban hummers-- get your minds out of the gutter, it's a drink.

[Laughter]

[Phone beeps]

♪ To quietly remind us ♪
♪ time, though it mostly slips away ♪
♪ doesn't seem to mind the wait ♪

Like you care.

Drop the phone, McKibben.

I got something a little more interesting for you to look at.

♪ Do you feel the same as I do? ♪
♪ close your eyes ♪
♪ think of what you have beside you ♪

Stop moving so fast. I need to talk to you.

I have to stay on the move to avoid a pre-teen Ricky perv.

And I'm on clean-up duty.

I'm gonna go.

Wha-- You can't leave me here!

I'm sorry, T. I can't stay.

How are you gonna get home, walk?

Crap, I'm being paged.

Don't move, I'll be right back.

Lil' bitch, where's your mom?

With Ben. I guess your plan to ruin my parents' relationship worked. Happy?

[Chuckles] Listen, your dad's the one who ruined their relationship, and it started years ago.

What are you talking about?

Think about it. Why would I hate buzzkill this much for no reason?

Because I'm the one who had to pick up the pieces when he screwed over your mom over and over again.

You're drunk.

And you're a dork.

But at least tomorrow, I'll be sober.

For a while.

[Pop music]

Why are you stopping?

Oh, I can't focus. We've gotta put this on hold.

Seriously?

There's nothing you can do about their break up.

Let it go.

I'm sorry, but I gotta take care of my friend.

[Groans]

Ugh.

Congratulations.

What do you want?

My wife.

Oh, mm, she's having so much fun without you.

Ally, I don't want to get into it on your wedding day.

You're a schmuck.

Where is she?

♪ Well, you've got to go ♪
♪ you've got to go ♪

Yet again, your timing is impeccable.

Now, leave.

It's what you do best.

♪ Felt too strongly ♪
♪ now it's time ♪

I couldn't tell if it was the two dozen Bobby Pins making my brain hurt, or Jake's merciless words playing over and over in my head.

Our timing was off?

Did he just throw that out there or was it something real?

And if so, was it off with my parents too?

If what Ally said was true, then Ben wasn't my mother's Matty, my dad was, which made me the living, breathing manifestation of my parents' bad timing.

The mistake who kept my mom from her Jake.

And if that thought didn't destroy me, there was another one lying in wait to finish the job.

Would my mom have ended up with Ben if it wasn't for me?

That bartender would not tend to me.

He cut me off.

[Fabric ripping] Ugh.

At my own wedding.

Can you believe that crap? Make sure we don't tip him.

Lucky for you, your fave niece is here to save the day.

You're welcome.

Mm.

Hey!

Okay.

Hey, that's my sh*t.

The position of bridesmaid should not be taken lightly.

Come on! You're spoiling all the fun.

She is one drink away from peeing herself.

No more.

We are responsible for making sure that the bride is presentable for her consummation.

I can't believe you're gonna be in my wedding pictures.

Maybe the photographer can color you out.

You know what would go well with this sh*t?

Vodka chaser.

[Dance music]

Smile.

[Chuckles] I love you guys!

[Laughs] Oof.

My walk of lame left me with a lot of blisters and a little clarity.

There was never a wrong time to say "I love you."

If Jake left me because I didn't meet his deadline, maybe I was lucky to get out when I did.

Or maybe I was just trying to make myself feel better because I was still paralyzed by the pain?

[Knocking at window]

♪ Will I break? Will I stand strong? ♪

I heard what happened.

What happened? Because I'm still in the dark.

He didn't say much.

How are you?

Numb.

Please tell me what's wrong with me.

Nothing.

Nothing is wrong with you.

♪ I don't wanna break your heart tonight ♪

Something's wrong with this zipper.

Can you help me?

No! No, unzip it.

It's too restricting.

You know, I really didn't come here for Ally tonight.

[Giggles]

Ben, I have a lot of baggage.

Which I can carry.

I am a strong guy.

You are.

You have always been strong.

And you will be strong again.

♪ All alone, stay with me until the dawn ♪

[Chuckles] Hmm.

♪ Can't keep falling apart ♪

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

♪ We gotta let this go ♪
♪ my body can't say no ♪

[Grunting]

[Laughs]

I-I'd better go wrangle the bride.

♪ Let's feel what the b*at is for ♪

Good to see you.

You too.

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
♪ dance with me tonight ♪

Mm-hmm.

♪ 'Cause I don't want to break your heart tonight ♪
♪ Oh! ♪

And one more thing...

I love you, Jake Rosati.

What did I do?

Beautiful.

I'm sorry.

Save it.

My Ricky chapter is closed. Consider yourself OOP.

Okay, I-I may be out of print, but I'm still available in limited edition.

Ugh.

Okay, at least for a dance.

How about it? For old times' sake?

Get in line!

The lady is with me.

[Scoffs]

♪ I'm thinking about the only one ♪

[Sighs] I'm pretty sure I love you.

I feel it right here.

It's probably coming from a little further south.

♪ I'm thinking about the only one ♪

On your body, not mine.

[Sniffling] This is surreal.

Yep.

I'm crying to you about Jake.

I'm listening to you cry to me about Jake.

What does that say about us?

We're weirdos.

I'm weird. You?

You're wonderful.

Hey, this isn't the Matty hour.

Let's focus on you.

You feeling better?

Surprisingly, no.

I'm still... racking my brain, trying to figure out what I could have done different... better.

Guess I just waited too long to tell him how I felt.

I can relate.

He'll come to his senses.

I suspect Jake's just trying to get over his own insecurity.

Once he knows there's no reason to be insec--

What if there is?

Is what?

A reason.

What if he could sense that I was struggling to fall in love with him because...

I haven't fallen out of love with you?

♪ Decisions you do or make ♪
♪ I'm aware they can haunt you ♪

Where's Jenna?

She's gone.

♪ You're here early ♪

My entire life has been a series of bad timing.

My conception, my accident, Jake's affection.

Us.

Us.

Maybe the timing's... finally right.

And maybe, finally, it was time for my life to be less complicated.

♪ Bring on the fire ♪
♪ 'cause business is cruel ♪
♪ and Sophie's got somewhere to be ♪
♪ take it out on me ♪
♪ take it out on me ♪

Next on Awkward...

Holy f*ck!

Jake, I really need to talk to you for just--

He knows everything?

Everything.

Well, who the hell told him?

Maybe telling Jake was the wrong thing to do, but what you and Jenna did was way worse.

The wheel of pep! [Cheers]

Okay, McKibben, time to come clean.

Please, don't do this.