01x07 - Ice Cream

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Mad Dogs". Aired: January 15, 2015.*
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A group of underachieving 40-something guys travel to Belize to see an old friend, when things take an unexpectedly dark turn.
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01x07 - Ice Cream

Post by bunniefuu »

[vehicle passing]

Come on. This way, please.

Whoa. Right there.

Quickly. Right this way.

[indistinct chatter]

Take the family to Nurse Obar.

Watch this.

Okay. Thank you. Cuidado.

Okay. [Speaks Spanish]


Whoa! Who's taking my damn picture?

It's just procedure.

Procedure of what?

Okay, headache, back pains, stomach ache, rash... anyone?

Are you the doctor?

What is this place?


You have entered a variola smallpox zone.


We barely left the dock.

We couldn't have entered an infected zone.

Wait. Guatemala has smallpox?

We're trying to stop it from reaching Guatemala.

Our boats brought you back to Belize.

I thought smallpox was eradicated.

Yeah. Isn't it like extinct?

Tell that to the Chief of Staff.

So we must take your blood samples because you were in an infection zone.

You're very lucky.

How's that?

Because if you have it, there is still a chance that we can save your lives.

But more importantly, if you have it, by being here, you are saving the lives of others.

[speaks Spanish]

What's that for?

Why is mine a different color?

What kind of doctor are you?

I am a nurse.

So where are the doctors?

They're very busy. So are we.

Go. Go, go, go.

[whimpering, indistinct chattering]

Please follow the light.

If you have not been processed, please stay in line.

[coughing, indistinct chatter]


That little yellow vaccine book the doctor gave me is back at the villa.

You got vaccine sh*ts?

Yeah. I think that smallpox was one of the sh*ts I got. It must have been.

Joel, was smallpox one of the sh*ts you got?

I don't remember.

Were we supposed to get sh*ts? Did you get sh*ts?

I can't do needles, man. I took herbal drops.

Milo never said I needed sh*ts or drops.

Dude, you always get sh*ts.

Haven't you ever been to a tropical island before?

It's not an island.

But when you're a kid, isn't smallpox one of the sh*ts they give you?

That's right. The mark that you get.

That's like the all-purpose singing and dancing vaccination deal, right?

That one? Is that it?

What? Like that?


That mark?

Right here. Right here.

That's a mark. That's a mark.

I got that mark, too.

I'm like double protected then.

Dude, that's a mole.


That's a mole.

You gotta get that checked, bro.

No, not that. That's a birthmark.

It doesn't matter. Smallpox has mutated, and there's no vaccine.

Come with me.

Cobi: Where are you from?

Like, around here? Belize, Belize City?

Originally, I am from Chile. Why?

Just curious.

Um, don't touch that.

That-that... that belongs to all of us, so I'll just put all our names on it.

We can only put one name per item.


Because if you have something of value in there and not all of you are released, then you cannot get it back.

So I will write your name on it.

Okay, well, forget it. Don't worry about it.

We have a pastor who comes in the mornings if you would like to speak to him.

A pastor? What?

No. f*ck, no.

Please fill these out.

I really do need to use the phone.

We have a pastor who visits every morning.

Oh, no, thanks.

I'm... I'm not religious.


Why did you say it like that?

Because you look like a guy who has a lot on his mind.

Why do you have to do that?

Random sample.

And you picked me because...

Every 50th patient.

Where does that sample go?

Clinic. You know? Yeah?

Anonymous. No records, just data.

Andre, the father of the twins that came in with us...


He sneezed on me.

Is he sick?

He sneezed on just you or also your friends?

Just me, I think.

I'll tell the doctor.

Well, can I tell the doctor?

I mean, when do I get to see an actual doctor?

If you have smallpox...


Then you see a doctor.

So you really don't want to see her.



I am cooperating with you.


You are not cooperating...

I tried to explain to him.

Listen, I have two girls, and I need to use a phone.

We understand. You need to lower your volume to a calm level.

I need to use a phone.

You cannot call when in quarantine.


It can cause a panic.

Do you have kids?

Not anymore.

We have a pastor who visits in the mornings if you would like to speak to him.

Does that pastor have a roaming plan?

I must know where you have been and who you have met with.

Here in Belize, where do you stay?

Belize City.

Hotel name?

No, uh, with a friend.

Well, we will need to contact them.

Please write their number.

Uh, he... our friend's gone.


Well, he's just gone.

Uh, he went to Guatemala.

Do you have a contact number for him?


How did you get to the boat we found you on?

We hitchhiked from Belize City.

Lex: Hitchhiked? No, that's not correct.

I don't care what happens.

I gotta tell you the truth.

We got a ride from a woman who worked at...

She was driving us to Guatemala. She died.

She's dead?


She was sick? What were her symptoms?

She fell. She fell into a very deep chasm.

I'm pretty sure she's dead.

So you're not sure?

We didn't go down there to look.

I mean, we should have, but we couldn't because it was very deep.

But, no, she's-she's... she's not alive.

So this was close to where we pick you up?


Did she complain of dizziness?


Then how did she fall?

I don't know. Maybe she slipped.

There were all these goats that...

She's still down there.

Do you understand that?

Somebody's gotta go and get her body.

I have medical authority only, not police.

Okay. Call it a medical emergency.

Just get somebody to go down there.

I can only worry about smallpox for now.

We have a pastor who visits in the morning if you would like to talk to him.

Yeah, yeah, I would like that.

[crickets chirping]

[patients coughing, indistinct chatter]

Did anyone see a doctor?


You don't wanna see the doctor.

Why not?

'Cause that means you got it.

That's ridiculous. This is a hospital.

They can't refuse to let... Oh!

Oh, Jesus Christ!

What the f*ck is that thing?

What is it?


Hey! Don't step on it!

Why is it following me, man?

Don't step on it!

Jesus Christ!

No! I'm not gonna touch it.

Oh, shit!

You f*cking touch it.


Don't crush him!

Watch his tail. Watch his tail.

Hold on, hold on! Oh, yeah!

Come on, get the tarp! Cover him up! Cover it!

Good, good, good.

Jesus Christ.

If we're supposed to be hermetically sealed off from the germs, how the f*ck did that get in here?

More to the point, how do we get outta here?

Well, why would you want to get out?

If you have the disease, they can treat you.

We don't have it.

We don't know that.

What if Jesús finds out we're in here with all his money?

How's he gonna find out?

He's got connections.

You heard what Rochelle said.

The staff aren't local.

Yeah, but the patients are.

Hi. Hi.

Have you seen our father? Our uncle?

No, no. You okay?

We don't know where they are.

My sister's scared.

Yeah. Yeah, I bet.


Has your dad been sick?


Has your uncle been sick?


Hey, everything's gonna be okay.

♪♪ [humming tune]

JOEL, you know, we're officially missing now.

We were supposed to land in the U.S. 12 hours ago.

We have to call home.

Gus: They won't let us call out.

Apparently, our voices can cause mass panic.

We can't just sit here.

Hey, what if we bribe someone?

Everybody's got a price.

You do realize that everyone working here is a volunteer, right?

They're putting their lives on the line.

Not everyone in the world is motivated by the same things you are.

Okay, why do we keep listening to him?

Hey, don't lay this at my feet.

Keep the money?

Hey, we agreed.

No, we didn't.

We took a vote.

What vote? Was there a vote? What vote?

Joel: What if we actually have it?


Then I guess it wouldn't matter how much money we have, huh?


You ask me, we deserve to have it.

Have it or not, I'm getting home.

We brought this on ourselves.

Can we stop with the commentary, Lex?

Hey, what's going on? They okay?


What's happening?



What's going on?

[birds squawking]

Whoa, whoa.

Oh, the black orchids. You found them.

Unfortunately, we are still looking.

But I was told you are seeking the whereabouts of four Americans.

And you offer payment for this?

Where are they?

My cousin's wife laid eyes on them in the village yesterday.

Are they there now?

I only have the information I gave you.

Well, you could have told me this yesterday.

How many times have I told you to get a telephone?

It brings gossip, bickering.

Amongst the wives two years ago...

Oh, for God's sake, Abram.

And my payment for this information?

Half now, and when you buy a phone, I'll call you to arrange delivery of the rest.


Hey, hey!

Don't touch it.

Why? Did you name it?

Don't touch the f*cking lizard.

Well, this is a quarantine zone, and animals carry diseases.

Cobi, I swear to God, if you touch that f*cking lizard...


Woman: Water!

[woman speaking Spanish] ...agua, por favor!

Jesus. Is anybody gonna help her?

[woman speaking Spanish]

Agua, por favor.

Hey! Can somebody please get her some water?

Woman: Necesito agua.

[woman continues speaking Spanish]



Joel, what are you doing?



Joel, what are you doing? Joel!


Woman: Yo necesito agua.

What the f*ck are you do...

Joel... Hey!

Hey! You're letting in all the germs!

Woman: Agua.

Justnot seeing it.

Where'd he go?

PTSD. That's where he went.

Oh, please.

The rest of us are handling it okay.

Yeah. How do you think you'd act if you shot a cop?

Will you please stop saying that so loud?

We can't let him back in.

He might be contaminated.

She sounded really sick.

Here he comes.

No, no, no, no.

Hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, Joel, Joel.

Uh, go to the nurse and ask her if you're at risk.

I'm not at risk.

You don't know that.

Just go find the nurse and ask.

Just ask, please.


Dude, whoa!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

What, are you that selfish?

Just go find the damn nurse!

Joel, quit it!

What do you wanna...

Whoa. Jesus.

Jesus Christ. Fucker!

We were all brought in together in a line, remember?

She was in the line.

So if we were gonna be infected, we'd be infected.

So chill the f*ck out!

What? I went out and gave water to a woman that was coughing.

You will be charged for this door.


[speaking Spanish]

Hey, is there any chance that he could have been contaminated?

No. She has TB.

Oh, great.

Very nice.

You f*cking d*ck. Thanks, man.

Thank you.

Well, you guys are okay.

You all had inoculations as children.

We saw the marks on your shoulder.

So... so you have our results?

I will discuss inside privately.

But you have them?

What happened to the twins and their family?

I cannot tell you about another patient's results.

Well, we know them. They're kind of friends.

It's against the rules.

Well, f*ck the rules. Why don't you just tell us?

We only have Joel Cranston's results now.

Please, can we talk?


You are released.


That's good.

So, uh, what's the plan?



Maybe you should take the luggage and we'll meet up with you.

Our jeeps can take you to the shore for a boat back to Belize.

Your friends' results will come in soon.

We have a waiting area for you to wait outside.

Thank you. Thanks.

Lex: I'm worried about Joel.

Cobi: Why? He's the only one who definitely doesn't have smallpox.

He's not, you know...

He has a tendency to go to darker places.

Do I have to spell it out?

The guy's a depressive.

He's been through something very traumatic.

He's alone. I'm worried what he might do to himself.

Or what Jesús might do to him.

This is Dr. Levine.

Could we, please?

I know that this is very difficult news to tell you, but here's some results.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, my God.

We have a great team of doctors that can help you.

Oh, God.

That's not me.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Hey, wait.

Uh, I'm so sorry.

Is that it?


Okay. I'm okay.


You had the wrong person.

I'm so sorry.

I-I'm released?

Yes, but you have a significant amount of Valium in your sample.

Oh, f*ck that. Yes!

Oh. All right.

I'm released. I'm okay, I'm okay.

All right, good.

Okay, okay. I'm gonna meet up with, uh... with Joel.

We're gonna wait at the nearest bar, okay?

And... assuming you get out, which you will.

I know.

So don't worry about it.


This way?

Two more to go, man. Two more to go.

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Nurse: We have a waiting area outside.

The vehicles can take you to the shores for boats back to Belize.

Uh, excuse me. Any idea how long until my friends are released?

There's no way of knowing.

Minutes? Hours? Days?


[continues panting heavily]


Um, is there a hotel or a hostel nearby?

Barranco. It is far.

Well, uh, can you give me the number of a taxi?

No taxi here. I can give you a map.

Well, how far is it?

Five miles.

Oh, uh, can I get that map, please?

[birds tweeting, insects trilling]

[birds tweeting, insects trilling]

[flies buzzing]

Ha ha! [Speaking Spanish]

Uh, Barranco?

Do you... do-do you know where... where that is?

[speaking Spanish]

N-No... no hablo español. Uh...

I-I'm trying to-to get to, uh... Barranco, walking...

[mocking American accent]: No habla. Barranco.

[speaking Spanish]

Yeah, sí, uh, and then you show me the way to Barranco?

Uh, Barranco?

Chido. Sí.


[speaking Spanish]

[speaking Spanish]

Isabel, Mateo, Joel.

Isa... Isabel. Isabel.


Uh, Joel.




[speaking Spanish]



Mateo. Mateo.


Joel. [Resumes speaking Spanish]

You ready to get out of there?

It's okay.

All right.

It's okay.

At least we can save one life, right?

Yeah. We can save a lizard, but not Rochelle.

But we could actually do something about the lizard, Lex.

Come on, man. You have two daughters.

How would you like it if somebody left one of them in a ditch?

You have no place to bring my daughters in any conversation.

Why? It's okay for Rochelle, but not Talia or Reggie?

What did you do for Rochelle?

I was the one who kept saying we gotta go down there.

We should call somebody.

I heard you.

We can't leave her there.

I heard you.

Did I? Yes!

I heard you!

Did you?

I tried.

Nobody else gave a shit.

You tried? You tried?


I don't recall seeing your ass go down there and get her.

Nobody stopped you.

I don't even recall you making a phone call.

So how is that everybody else's fault?

Okay, you know what? f*ck you.

Congratulations on trying.

f*ck you, because if it was your kid, we'd still be down there.

Yeah, if it was my kid, I wouldn't rely on you.

No, no, I didn't say anything, right?

I didn't do anything. Whatever!

Tried with your f*cking mouth!

You are clear.


We have a waiting area outside, vehicles to drive you to the shore to take you back to Belize City.

Thank you.



Lex: Thank you.

We need another blood sample.


The doctors requested it.

What's wrong with my blood?

Please, we must do this.

Why do we need another...?


Hey! Hey!

You're okay!

[people talking excitedly]

[speaking excitedly]

[birds singing]


[computer generated voice] I understand you are responsible for the Americans who took my money and my boat.

I expect repayment immediately.


How do I get a message back to Jesús?

Uh, please tell him, with respect, he's mistaken, but I'll deal with it nonetheless.

What's the quickest way to Guatemala?

The quickest?


Where the smugglers cross the river at Barranco.

Well, how do I get there?

You would have to walk.

How far?

Nine miles.

[chickens clucking]

[dog barking in distance]

[rooster crowing]

Uh, I was wondering, uh, do you know where I could, uh, get a taxi?

Taxi gone... four years ago.

You lost?


I'm just trying to get to Guatemala.

Ya not look Guatemalan.

[chuckles]: I'm American.

I'm just... just trying to get home, that's all.

My brother-in-law coming home soon, and he can take you.

Oh, really?

That'd be great.

You want some food while you wait?

You really grew all this yourself?

Of course.


We got a garden.

But we don't grow anything in it, just flowers.

Hmm. Must you spend a lot of money to buy food to cook.

Um... we usually order, um, takeout.

[children laughing, chattering outside]

It's, like, you know, we... we order in.

We call, they deliver the food.

Oh, your wife no cook for you?

Not very often.

Well... well, she does, um, make this, like, pasta bake, occasionally.

It's really good, but... it's nothing like this.


I will teach you something to show your wife to cook for you and your family.

[laughs softly]: Okay.



I'm gonna go clockwise, too.

Check it out.


Going counterclockwise.

[Hugo and Isabel speaking Spanish]

[speaking Spanish]

[Isabel speaking Spanish]

[all continue speaking Spanish]

[speaking Spanish]

[Hugo and Mateo speaking Spanish]


[Hugo speaking Spanish]

[birds calling]

[speaking Spanish]


[speaking Spanish]

Oh, sit here? Okay.

[speaking Spanish]

Oh. My nails.




Oh, no, uh, two... That's...


Perfecto. Yeah.



[speaking Spanish]

[continues speaking Spanish]


Oh, uh... no, I'm good.

[speaking Spanish]

All right.

[laughs softly]

[speaks Spanish]


[others laugh]



So f*cking chido right now.

f*cking chido. [Speaking Spanish]

You show your wife this, she can cook this dinner for you and all your babies.

Cobi: Yeah.

We don't have babies, though.

Children all grown?

Oh, we don't have kids.


I'm sorry.

Oh, no, no, don't be.

No, we just never got around to it.

No, we both work and did other things and then ten years goes by and you're...

No cooking, no babies?

She don't sound like one good wife.

Cut this?


No, no, no, no, no. No, she's great.



She's, um... she's kind of funny, you know.

Like if you don't want to do something, she'll persuade you to do it.

And then after you do it, you're grateful that you did, you know.

She's, like... enthusiastic about stuff.

People love her for it, you know.

Does she work a job?

Yeah, she's always worked.

In school, she lied about her age so that she could work at Mr. Donut.

So she a liar, too, then?

No, no, no, no.

No, Helena's terrific.

[chuckles] Mm.

You work?

Uh, wealth management.

I... I manage people's money.

[sighs] Hmm.

Um... I take people's money, and then I try to make them more money.

And then in exchange, my firm gets to keep some of that money, and then I get to keep some of that money.

[grunts] You like this job?

Yeah. It's okay.

I need the money.


To pay for all the food to be delivered.

[laughs] Yeah. And other things.

Which one you prefer?


To sleep on.

I thought... I thought your brother-in-law was coming.

Tomorrow maybe.

Oh, no, no, no. I... I have to go to Guatemala now.

The only way to go now is across the river with the smugglers.

I can't spend the night.

Sure, you can.

You take my bed, we'll put a blanket on the porch for me.

No, no, no, I-I can't.

You insult me, if you refuse.

Can I check out the porch?

'Cause that's... that's more my speed.


All right?

[man singing in foreign language]

[vehicle approaching]

[people chattering]

It's good to see you, man.

Yeah. Yeah.

Where them other two clowns?

They f*cking left us.

You sure?

Oh, yeah.

I checked... They're gone.

I went around every single bar I could find, which was one, and nothing, nobody's seen them.

They have passports... we don't.

They took half the money.

[chuckles softly]


Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

You need to know I still got your back, you hear me?

All right, Leslie.


You got pretty close.

[Hugo speaking Spanish]

[talks excitedly]

That was a, that was... that was a lucky one.

[other speaking Spanish]

[Mateo laughs, speaks Spanish]

[speaks Spanish]

[man singing in Spanish]

[Isabel groaning}


[shouting in Spanish]

[whoops] U-S-A!


Muy fácil.




[speaking Spanish]

[horn honks]

Hey, muchachos!

[speaking Spanish]

[Isabel speaking Spanish]

Uno, dos, tres.


[speaks Spanish]


Oh, uh, uh, dónde... wh-where you... where you going?

Belize City.



I-I can't.

[speaking Spanish]

Yeah, I can't.

Thank... It was great to meet you.

[speaks Spanish]

[speaks Spanish]

Stay golden, pony-boy.

[engine starts]

Ciao, Joel.


Gracias for everything.

[birds calling]

[birds calling]

[music playing low through headphones]


[low music continues]

[low music continues]

The rest of the money?

I'm not sure where it is. [Grunts]

There was a package I gave Milo and a bag with the rest of the money that didn't belong to you.

I'd like to know where they are.

The package is in the ocean.

It's in the ocean.

Them be lost.

All right, we are definitely the gringos around here, so let's, uh, let's just find somewhere quiet to chill until we figure out what the hell we're doing.

[lively music playing]

[music continues]

[woman shouting]

Gus: Hey!

[woman shouts]

He took the bag! Hey!

Hey, man!

Excuse me.

Gus: Hey, m*therf*cker!

♪ I'm-a blaze high till the day I die ♪
♪ Sweat the shit out every tear, every lie ♪
♪ Anybody wanna dance with me ♪
♪ Sipping on my rum in the corner still, ah ♪
♪ We a groove to the morning break ♪
♪ Na, we go banana in-a suga shake ♪
♪ Oh, no, no, no, no, no ♪

[whistles blowing]

♪ Dem frighten all true dem saw mi ♪
♪ - [whistles blowing]

♪ Oh, no, no, I just wanna shine ♪

Lex! Lex!

♪ Just like diamonds in the sky ♪
♪ And I really don't care ♪

[whistles blowing]

Come on.

♪ I love to watch ♪
♪ The smoke dance in the air ♪

[phone ringing]


Hey, Erica.

It's Gus.

You back in Chicago?


Are you still in Belize?

I-I believe so. Um...

How are you? Are you okay?

Erica: It's not safe for you here.

Go home.

I know it's not safe, but, um... look, I don't have a passport, and, uh, my friend, Lex, he's with me, and neither one of us have passports and... we're lost.

Well, you're smart. You'll find a way.

No, we're really lost.

Like, I-I have no idea what to do.


All right, look around you... what do you see?

Uh, ocean... um, P.G. Lionfish Pub.

That's Punta Gorda. You're still in Belize.

[seagulls screeching]

All right, give me the address, and I'll come get you.

Yeah, yeah, you would do that for me?

Of course.

[woman singing in Spanish]

If anonymity is a priority, we have a minor issue.

Our system is governed by SWIFT.

Yeah, I know all about SWIFT.

You are an accountant?

A financial consultant, wealth management.

Wait, now this is a payment order from my corporation to my account, so why would there be an issue?

Well, you made a similar payment order three days ago in Belize for Angel Gibson.



So our only option here is to put a hold on my deposit?

How long?

Not long.

I will call you personally when the time comes.


Um... you can reach, let's see... [mumbling]

All right, you can reach me at this number.


Oh, listen, uh, what's the best hotel in town?

[phone line rings]

[woman] Hello?


[sigh] Hi, Helena.

Where are you?

Still here.

I, um...

Helena, it's...


It's been a real nightmare, but, uh, I'm fine, you know, so...



When are you coming back?

I was supposed to be back a day and a half ago.

Yeah, you called a few days ago to wire money for a business opportunity.

I assumed you were staying longer, and you did.

Joel says hi.

How-how is he?

Have you spoken to him?

Helena: Not recently.

Cobi: Really? When?

I don't know when.

You don't remember...

[cell phone ringing]

You don't remember the, uh, the last time you spoke to him?

Helena: No. Why?

Oh, 'cause he said that you guys had... like, lunch.

[ringing continues]

Actually, lunches.

[ringing stops]

When he came into town, he called me for lunch. So what?

You f*cking him?


Oh, you haven't f*cked him yet, but you want to, is that it?

Is Joel there? Put him on the phone.

Nah, he told me everything.

Well, if he told you we slept together, he's lying.

Are you unhappy, is that it?

You know what, I'll talk to you when you get home.

Okay. Bye.


Like what...

[dial tone drones]

[phone beeps off]


[cell phone beeps, buzzes]

[phone beeps]

[recording]: Cobi, it-it's Joel.

I'm in Belize City, at least I think I am.

I've been, uh, uh, taken, um, captured.

Kidnapped, wh-whatever you call it.

I'm serious.

Uh, this guy wants the money, all of it.

He already has what I took, and he wants the rest, so...

Uh... call me-call me back at this number and... there will be further...

It's, uh...

♪ If you have a friend on whom ♪
♪ You think you can rely ♪
♪ You are a lucky man ♪
♪ If you've found the reason to live on and not to die ♪
♪ You are a lucky man ♪
♪ Preachers and poets and scholars don't know it ♪
♪ Temples and statues and steeples won't show it ♪
♪ If you've got the secret, just try not to blow it ♪
♪ Stay a lucky man ♪
♪ A lucky man ♪
♪ If you've found the meaning ♪
♪ Of the truth in this old world ♪
♪ You are a lucky man ♪
♪ If knowledge hangs around your neck ♪
♪ Like pearls instead of chains ♪
♪ You are a lucky man ♪
♪ Takers and fakers and talkers won't tell you ♪
♪ Teachers and preachers will just buy and sell you ♪
♪ When no one can tempt you with heaven or hell ♪
♪ You'll be a lucky man ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Takers and fakers and talkers won't tell you ♪
♪ Teachers and preachers will just buy and sell you ♪
♪ When no one can tempt you with heaven or hell ♪
♪ You'll be a lucky man ♪
♪ You'll be better by far to be just what you are ♪
♪ You can be what you want if you are what you are ♪
♪ And that's a lucky man ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, a lucky man ♪
♪ And that's a lucky, a lucky, a lucky man ♪
♪ A lucky, a lucky, a lucky man ♪
♪ A lucky, a lucky, a lucky man ♪
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