02x09 - The Dark Avengers

[bunniefuu]

(Metal rattling)

(Screens buzzing)

(Crowd screaming)

Help! Anyone!

(Yapping)

(w*apon charging)

(Dog whimpering)

Well, what do we have here?

Hyperion. My hero.

That is one cute dog.

(Girl giggling)

(Chimes)

Your charm alone's not going to destroy the other two robots, Hyperion.

Stay focused on the mission at hand.

There's focus, Nighthawk, and then there's this.

(Zarda grunting)

Dr. Spectrum: Well done, Zarda, but behold true power.

(Groaning)

Ahh!

Hey, Dr. Spectrum, I got your true power right here.

Thank you. Go, Squadron!

All in a day's work for the Squadron Supreme, Earth's mightiest heroes. (Crowd cheering)

(Beeping)

Guess these things didn't get the message they lost.

Hyperion, no!

(Squadron struggling)

(Evil laughter)

(Screaming)

All: Iron Man!

Of course. Who did you expect? A good guy?

Fell for the old "trick robot" bit, huh?

You might be Earth's mightiest heroes, but you're clearly not Earth's smartest.

Nighthawk: Do it, Spectrum.

Nighthawk: Speed Demon.

On it, boss.

Okay, so my electro-cage has some design flaws.

(Speed demon grunting)

(Zarda grunting)

(Grunting)

Iron Man: Uh-oh.

(Groaning)

I'll never know why such evil lurks in the hearts of men like the outlaw...

Tony Stark.

(Crowd booing)

Down with Stark!

(Groaning)

I'll take this as my cue to leave.

(Grunting)

I've got him.

(Straining)

Huh?

Those other villains.

Iron Man: What is this?

Jarvis, tell me I didn't just lose my mind?

Jarvis: Unfortunately not, sir.

That was a dimensional anomaly of immeasurable power.

(Straining)

(Grunting)

(Grunting)

(Straining)

Not good.

Stark saw everything.

He won't remember what it means.

Ever have an itch you just can't scratch?

I just got one in my brain.

Am I looking at the future? Another reality?

Jarvis: Sir, there's no reality where you'd choose that outlandish color scheme for your armor.

Or work together with those clowns.

Pull up the files on public enemies two through seven.

Jameson ON Tv: ...brings Iron Man's outstanding warrants to 23.

That puts him at the top of a wanted list that includes notorious hacker, Falcon, master cat burglar, Black Widow, Thor, lord of crime, Gangster strongman, Hulk, Hawkeye, who steals from the rich and gives to himself, and of course, the mysterious Captain, an outlaw still at large.

The real outlaw is whoever told Jameson to grow that mustache.

Jarvis: That scratch your itch, sir?

Nope. Maybe it's time to meet some other criminals.

Nighthawk: That's your last time in the field. You can't concentrate.

The reality stone didn't come with instructions. I'm doing the best I can.

You promised me a world where the Avengers wouldn't exist.

We have the upper hand now.

We're honored, respected.

You both have the imagination of a child.

The Avengers should be gone.

We should be feared, ruling this world, not smiling for the camera.

Stark's seen through the cr*ck in this reality.

We're taking him and the other former Avengers off the grid...

My way.

Zarda: Think you're so clever, don't you?

Okay, you caught me.

Stolen S.H.I.E.L.D. data in my pocket. I know the routine. Take me in.

Speed Demon: New orders, buddy. We're not just taking criminals in anymore.

(Groaning)

(Groaning)

(Grunting)

(Groans)

"All right, Hawkeye. Hands in the air," would have been enough.

All right, Hawkeye. Hands in the air.

(hawkeye screaming)

Whoo. Hey! I had this under control.

Falcon: That's not the way it looked to me, hotshot.

(falcon grunting)

(Groaning)

Watch the merchandise.

Seriously, how about a "Thanks for saving my life, pal?"

Stark? What, have I d*ed and gone to pompous jerk land?

Is that any way to talk to your new partner in crime?

(hulk growling)

Clever. So you sent the message about a w*apon that can destroy Hyperion.

Didn't think you could read nor write.

Got the same message. Here first. Finder's keepers.

I am always the keeper.

(Grunting) (Groaning)

Hulk: Keep this.

Ah!

(Struggling)

(Struggling)

Don't mind me.

(Grunting)

A setup.

Hyperion: Pitiful lemmings.

Ha! Like sh**ting fish in a barrel.

Ha! He called you a fish.

Prepare to burn.

(Groaning)

(Groaning)

I take it you won't accept "surrender" as an answer.

That time has passed.

The Squadron's no longer...

(Screaming)

Iron Man.

(Screaming)

Go with you? Is this another trick?

Hey, I can always leave you here.

Is that machine supposed to do what you can't?

There's an upper limit to how much I can manipulate the reality stone.

Once I finish this device, it will cement my control of reality, permanently giving us what we desire...

The Avengers wiped off the Earth, the planet ours.

Stark.

You're a Squadron of fools.

When I'm done cleaning up Hyperion's mess, I expect results.

Hawkeye: Listen, tin guy, this land of misfit villains thing isn't my style.

The powerless one is right.

Powerless?

Why do you waste our time?

You ever have an itch you can't scratch?

Always.

Not that kind of itch.

The kind that tells you something's not right.

I had a cr*ck at Doc Spectrum's stone.

That came out.

Hawkeye: Do I really look like that when I smile?

Remind me to never do that.

So what? Spectrum's stone created a mass hallucination.

It did, and we're living in it.

This cr*ck is the truth.

What if we were once a team of villains so strong, the Squadron tried to wipe us from reality?

You speak madness.

Only one way to find out.

Get that stone from Spectrum.

Who's in?

You want us to att*ck the Squadron, because you have a warm and fuzzy feeling we were once teammates?

(Scoffs)

Sorry. I'm out.

I work alone.

Are you joining?

No way.

Then count me in.

So that's one. Captain?

The Captain? Ha! Good luck with that.

No one's ever seen him.

I bet he doesn't even exist.

Bet he does.

Let's find out.

I just lost about a thousand bets.

A thousand and one.

What's your endgame, Stark?

You tell me. What made you save Falcon?

Some kind of instinct. Muscle memory.

Like we...

Iron Man: Worked together before?

I rest my case.

I've had my suspicions.

In my gut, I feel forced to be something I'm not.

That's why I went off the grid.

Didn't know who to trust.

Iron Man: You wanna do some trust exercises? Fall backwards. I'll catch you.

But you're not seeing the whole picture, Stark.

Zoom in here and filter the audio.

Go Avengers!

Wait, you think we're the good guys?

And we're called "The Avengers"?

The Squadron flipped reality.

My itch is scratched.

(Grunting)

You got one of these things at home?

Never flown it in my life.

(All exclaiming)

(Struggling)

How about a warning next time?

Warning...

(Grunting)

(Grunting)

All in one place. Efficient.

Abandon ship. I'll go first.

Negative. We'd be dropping a b*mb that would blow up half the city.

And we care why?

We're all on the most wanted list, but have any of us actually taken a life?

I'm guessing we're not very good at being bad guys.

It'll destroy you.

Only if this is reality, which it's not. Right?

You're betting your life on that?

I'm betting my life on all of you.

Odin's beard.

Thor: Why in the nine realms would Stark sacrifice himself?

To save innocent people, and he believed we'd all do the same.

(Alarm beeping) Nothing's keeping this thing in the air.

Both: I've got this.

(Grunting)

(All straining)

(Growling)

(Growling)

(All sighing)

It's possible your actions might have been helpful.

Could have been worse yourself.

Falcon: So what are we, really? A team now?

(Growling)

Some of you might not believe we're the good guys, but deep down inside, you all know something's wrong here.

Taking down the Squadron isn't only justice.

The fate of the entire world is in our hands.

Tony had faith in us.

Let's put our faith in him.

Avengers assemble.

That does kind of sound familiar.

Hyperion: Stark's out of play? Ha!

The ex-Avengers are done.

No, idiot. (Laughing)

Now, they have something to rally around.

Once the reality device starts processing, it won't matter. This world is ours.

(Thudding)

Squadron, strike.

If this is what the Captain meant by creating a distraction, I could distract all day.

First to knock it down, wins.

(Grunting)

(Grunting)

(Exclaiming) (Screaming)

You two are history.

(Clanging)

History was my second favorite subject...

(Grunting)

Can you guess the first?

Hey, pal. Catch me if you can. Oh, I'm sorry. You can't.

(Gasping)

(Roaring)

(Screaming)

Dr. Spectrum: Nighthawk, I'm heading to the lab.

Have to protect the reality stone at all costs.

Not a bad break-in. We should team up.

We already did.

Black Widow: (ON COMM) Cap, got a visual on Spectrum.

Captain America: Following your coordinates.

Bet that isn't his washing machine.

Speed Demon: Maybe in this reality, I can lift your sledge.

Look at that. Love this place.

(Grunting) (Grunting)

Don't just stand there. Move.

(Speed demon laughing)

Thor: Ah!

(CROWD CHEERING)

Man: Yeah, Squadron!

This is it, Avengers. On my signal.

Hyperion: I have a signal for you.

(All grunting)

Nighthawk: How close are you?

I need three minutes.

You get one.

(Growling)

(Blowing)

(Straining)

(Grunting)

(Grunting)

(Grunting)

(Grunting)

Hyperion: The world is turning back. Look at the shield.

The reality stone's losing its grip.

(hyperion grunting)

Want your shield? Take it.

(Grunting)

(Screaming)

Iron Man: Trust exercise.

Captain America: What happened? A new rip in reality?

Told you if you fell backwards, I'd catch you.

Welcome back.

(Chuckling)

(Grunting)

(Alarm buzzing)

Dr. Spectrum: Finally, it begins.

The stone will allow me to dictate the very nature of the universe.

He's erasing us from reality.

So much for becoming a good guy.

It's over, Avengers. You will have never existed.

(Groaning)

Iron Man: Aw, you remembered our name.

(Groaning)

This is our chance.

We've got one sh*t. I need cover.

Iron Man: Avengers assemble.

(Groaning)

(Grunting) (Groaning)

(Groaning)

Wait.

Forget reality. This is our chance.

We could make a world exactly how we want it.

No. Forcing our will takes away freedom.

We're not dictators.

We're Avengers.

Something's happening.

Yes, the Avengers are being destroyed.

Huh?

Hmm? Uh-oh.

(Speed Demon and Zarda groaning)

Yeah. This is more like it, right?

It's all coming back to me.

I do like you guys.

Well, some of you.

(Gasping)

It doesn't matter.

In this or any reality.

We regroup. Plan B.

(Beep) (expl*si*n)

Uh!

Captain America: The tower!

Avengers, you know what to do.

(Crowd screaming)

Come on, team. If our tower goes down, these skyscrapers could fall like dominos.

(Straining)

(Crowd gasping)

Iron Man: Time to show the Squadron what supreme really means.

Excuse me.

(Knuckles cracking)

(Roaring)

(Groaning)

(Straining)

Iron Man: Gently. This is my favorite tower.

(Crowd cheering)

Automated Voice: Initiate tower repair.

You're amazing.

Thank you, all in a day's...

I was talking to Hulk.

(Chuckling)

She's talking to me.

Iron Man: Reality stone, safe and sound.

Three stones down.

Tony, we just wanted to say, even though it was another reality, we'll always remember what you did today.

Well, I'd like to take the credit, but all of you would have done the same.

In any reality, we're all in this together.

You're smiling.

What?

That's what heroes do, right?