I know that it's been six months and I should be further along, but... It's the grief. It doesn't stop. Everywhere I look, there's a memory. There are buyers for my condo, which means that I will be truly homeless. Wow, this place is one of a kind. So are you. I'm so sick of crying. This is the last time.
S02E02 - Three Lost Loves
Hey, Jerry.
Hey gorgeous, how you doing?
Have fun, huh?
Thank you.
Hey, you're the one with the... the couch on her dock.
That's the only thing I know about you.
Well, there's nothing really to know.
You're new to the island, right?
You can't get home without passing by me, so I'll know your secret soon enough.
I don't have any secrets so...
Everyone's got secrets.
That guy? Two wives.
And they've both been on this ferry on the same day.
Well, I didn't really need to know that, and I have no secrets.
We'll see about that.
No, we won't see, really. None.
Davina Jackson.
Nice pic.
Hey, you made it.
Excellent.
Can I help you?
Oh, my God! (people murmuring)
What happened?
I don't know, he just fell!
He just fell?
Yes!
Well, did you hit him?
Of course not! Why would I hit him?
People move to the island, they start drinking.
You drunk?
It's 10 o'clock in the morning and I did not hit him.
I've never seen this man before in my life.
Davina.
Uh... Ed?
♪ Ooh spell ♪
♪ Ooh spell ♪
♪ I put a spell on you ♪
♪ Ooh spell ♪
♪ Ooh spell ♪
♪ Because ♪
♪ You're mine - Ooh spell ♪♪
Narcolepsy, isn't that when you, you know, with dead people?
(laughing) No.
No, that's necrophilia. No, this is when you fall asleep suddenly.
It's due to a deficiency in the neurotransmitter hypocretin, they think. It's a medical condition.
Oh, right. Of course.
As opposed to a psychological condition, which is what I'm guessing feeling compelled to sleep with dead people is.
So, apart from randomly falling asleep, how are things?
Good. I'm married.
Oh!
You know her.
I do?
She'd die if you didn't. Sarah Thorn.
Oh, the radio host! My husband did her show.
Oh, she's tough.
You have no idea.
Who's your husband?
Oh, my... late husband, I should have said. Al Jackson.
Oh, I am so sorry to hear that.
Yeah, it was six months ago. It's been hard.
I should probably warn you that if you're gonna get emotional, then that could trigger an episode.
I'm not.
Well, you can if you want, it's just we should probably move to the grass or something.
No, no, I'm fine.
OK. Good.
Populus canadensis, or Canadian poplar.
It's kind of the bastard child of the American black poplar, but it grows taller faster, which I find encouraging, for some reason.
Is this a hobby?
No, I'm a botanist now. I should have said.
A narcoleptic botanist.
The only one, I'm guessing.
I do nature walks as a public service that no one requires.
I should join you on one of your walks. I just moved here, it's... it's a strange place filled with...
Weirdos, yeah.
That's an island thing.
How long have you lived here?
Oh no, we live in Rosedale. I'm just here a lot because Sarah teaches a class at the community center.
Developing your Voice. The Thorn Technique.
She... she teaches a voice class? On the island?
Yeah, it's not really a voice class. This is it.
Wayne, what shape is this?
A square.
And what shape did I ask you for? Let me give you a hint.
It is the exact opposite, geometrically speaking, to a square.
A... circle?
Yes. Now round off those corners and clean out your ears.
In that order.
Ahem!
Oh, Ed! I'd k*ll for a Red Bull.
Certainly.
But first, I would like you to say hello to an old friend of mine.
Oh! Sarah Thorn.
Davina.
Davina, Davina Davis.
Well, actually, it's Jackson.
Right, of course.
Because Davina...
Jackson?
I took my husband's name.
Oh. Really? Why?
Uh, well, it simplified things, I suppose.
Guess if you had yourself branded, it would've simplified things even more.
Didn't feel like branding.
Where is Massa Jackson?
I'd like to meet him and give him a piece of my mind.
Actually, he's dead.
Oh.
Well, I'm sorry.
Did I know him?
Al Jackson.
Al Jackson, the columnist. You had him on the show.
Oh my God!
You were married to Al Jackson?
Yeah, that's what I...
Shut up, Ed.
OK.
Nobody tells you about this part, how the mail keeps coming.
Oh God. Credit card application.
"Dear Visa: Stop.
He's dead."
It's such a pain in the ass canceling in the first place.
I had to take his death certificate to the bank.
Should've canceled it online.
I don't have his account password.
I can't even get into his laptop.
Why?
It's password-protected too. Sam...
Honestly, you're bugging me.
Oh, sorry.
Can't get into his laptop?
No.
Because of a password?
What are you trying not to say?
Well, you were married to him for 30 years, you can't figure out the password?
I haven't tried.
Really?
That's... interesting.
Oh, for God's sake, Sam, what?
Al was on his laptop 24 hours a day.
He even had it in the hospital room with him, right?
I mean, Davina, these modern devices, they record everything.
They're like little maps to our psyche.
Browser history, emails, p*rn...
I mean, aren't you curious about what he was thinking, what he was working on?
I mean, he's a writer! He could have the great Canadian novel on that thing.
He would've told me. He told me everything.
Then why did he have his laptop password-protected?
I'm just saying.
Did you know that they recently banned cigarettes in American federal prisons? Did you know that, dearest?
No.
And the thing is, dearest, there was an unexpected consequence to the prohibition.
Can you guess what? Can you guess, dearest?
Well, not if it's unexpected.
Prison currency changed from cigarettes to... to...?
Sex?
Oh, well...
No, I hadn't... No, I think sex is taken as opposed to traded in those... Gee, I don't know.
Coffee.
Ah!
Coffee as currency, just like in Arabia in the first century after Christ.
And furthermore, I'm boring the sh*t out of you.
No!
Yes.
No, no, no, you're not boring the sh*t out of me. I'm just reading my magazine.
I overshare, I know, it's a flaw.
Oh, it's a beautiful thing.
It's what I love about you. You're... you're an open book.
And nothing's sexier than an open book, right?
Well, I want you to know I have shocking, dark, fascinating secrets, and when I'm gone, you will say: "Al Jackson...
I never really knew him."
(bell jingling)
Hi.
Davina, right?
Ed told me that you work in a gallery that's about to show Fannie Gadouas' art, and I'm gonna do a special show about the rise of the vag*na in contemporary art, and... well, I thought I'd better stop by and have a look.
Uh, the opening is a few days away.
I'm a big fan of your show. I would be happy to show you the work.
No, thank you.
I'd prefer Davina.
She's extraordinary.
Like Judy Chicago, but without the veil of sentiment.
Uh-huh.
This one... so current.
If ever there was a time to celebrate the bush, it'd be right now.
I, uh...
Sure.
Look, I didn't really come here to talk to you about vaginas.
All right.
I want to do something, you know, for you.
To help you. You're still in mourning.
I...
It's obvious. You should... you need to take my class. Free of charge, of course.
But this is a voice class...
Yes.
Why would I offer a voice class on the island?
Yeah, I was wondering that.
Because it's not a voice class.
And because the island is populated by people who want to get as far away from the world as they can while still claiming to be part of it, and...
I think you're one of those people.
Think about it.
So, are you interested in buying anything?
No, thank you. I already have one.
In this class, you will find your real voice and learn how to use it effectively, which may or may not lead to a successful career in journalism or animation or commercial voice-over.
Do you have a placement program for your grads?
No. Ms. Davis, come, join the circle.
Uh, it's Jackson, actually.
Davina.
Well, Davina, so why are you here?
Uh, well, I don't know.
Uh, curiosity?
How about this?
I'm here to finally become the architect of my own life, to release the past, and to empower myself to move forward into the future.
I'm here to be in commercials.
Yes.
Now, how about you? Stand up.
Introduce yourself.
Um, hi.
I'm... Jennaya?
Jennaya.
All right, Jennaya, hi.
Soon, we'll have you making statements without a question mark at the end. How does that sound?
Good?
Are you asking me if it's good?
I don't know, am I?
Well, it sounded like there was a question at the end of that word.
Really?
Really.
Upspeak is one of the most insidious ways that we women have of diminishing ourselves.
Don't you agree, Jennaya?
Yes?
Do you agree or don't you?
I... do?
Oh, Christ. Look, just say "My name is Jennaya."
My name is...
Jennaya?
Is it?
Jennaya? Or is it Lulu, or Brenda, or Kathy?
Because frankly, I don't know!
Oh, never mind. Whoever you are, we'll fix it.
I thought there'd be microphones.
OK, let's find our places on the floor, please.
Ha... ha...
(class): Ha...
Don't force the sound. Just let it emerge with the breath. It's as simple as that.
Inhale, and... ha... (class): Ha...
I've seen you. You moved into the houseboat two boats down.
Oh, hi!
Yes, I thought you looked familiar.
Neighbours.
You're new to the island.
Yes, I just moved here.
It's... it's a little overwhelming.
Because of the boat trips for groceries, or the large number of weirdos?
I love it. I love my new life.
How long have you lived here?
33 years.
Well, here's to new experiences.
Like my first voice class.
This isn't a voice class.
No talking, just ha-ing.
Ha!!!
(chanting): Ha! Ha! Ha!
Reach right down, deep, into that primal scream!
Right up out of your uterus!
I, uh...
I don't think the uterus makes any sound.
It's an image. It's not literal.
It's meant to help you break free.
Let go, right from the seat of your pudenda!
(chuckling) Pudenda!
OK, come on! Ha!!!
Ha...
You can do better than that, Davina, come on.
Ha!!!
(screaming)
Excellent! Excellent! Help her up! So many of us spend our lives in cages, often of our own making, because we're unwilling to dig down deep enough and find, find that "ha" that is waiting to be released.
So, this is cool and everything, but when are we gonna be on the microphone?
OK, everybody hug Carol.
Hug her hard, that's it, move in. Ha!!!
It's a power walk, not a stroll!
Walk with purpose!
Walk like you actually have somewhere to go!
So, uh, what the hell is this, this thing you're doing here?
What do you think it is?
Helping save lost souls?
Well, lost female souls particularly.
Divorcees, widows, broken women who waste their lives waiting for some man to come along and save them.
Do you hate men?
No!
Not at all! I actually have one of my own.
I wanna do to you what spring does to a cherry tree.
Ed! (exclamations)
Oh, God!
Oh, he'll be fine.
Keep walking.
You... you don't seem to match, you and Ed.
We're a perfect match.
He can't function without me, and I'm a control freak.
What about sex? Can he stay awake?
Doesn't matter. We have an open relationship.
Really?
Really. Well, Ed doesn't really take advantage of the arrangement, but he could, whenever he wanted to. I thought you'd know that.
Why would I know that?
Well, because I thought Al would've told you.
We almost hooked up after the interview.
You... you and Al?
Oh, relax.
Nothing happened. For some bizarre reason, he said no.
What?
Come on, it's not like I picked him up in some bar somewhere.
We had a past.
What kind of a past?
Long before he met you.
Now look, if you're gonna learn anything from this voice class, I hope it's that you realise that you are the only person that you will ever get to know, and that takes some effort. OK.
Come on, let's pick up the pace, ladies! Come on!
Why do you do that?
What?
Whenever I walk by when you're working, you close your computer.
That's not true.
It is. You just did it.
Well, I'm being social.
It's my way of saying I'd rather talk to my wife than watch videos of cats hugging rabbits, as hard as it is to tear myself away.
Are you hiding something from me?
Is that a serious question?
Well, your behaviour suggests that's exactly what you're doing.
What do I have to hide? I tell you everything.
I'm beyond an open book, I have no binding.
I'm like loose pages blowing in the wind.
Then why do you close it every time?
OK, you caught me.
This laptop is full of pictures of Japanese schoolgirls.
Literally millions of them. Phew!
It's actually a huge relief to get that out.
I've been longing to share my perversion with someone.
You're impossible.
Mm-hmm.
Well, they're here for you whenever you feel the urge.
Just pop open the laptop.
Do you have someone in your life?
That's a complicated question.
Which means you do.
No.
I don't.
But you did.
Yes.
I loved him very much.
And he loved you?
I think so.
Yes, he did.
Obviously he did.
Obviously.
Lucky you.
The only man I ever truly loved left me one week before our wedding for my best friend.
Well, then... I came here.
Oh, Lizzie, I'm sorry.
Oh...
I thought I knew him.
Maybe I did and was just lying to myself, which is an easy thing to do. Anyway, that was 33 years ago.
I suppose that's why I still call it my new life.
Because if I don't, if I just look at the facts of it, with all that time, I'd have to admit to myself that I was just waiting all these years for my life to begin.
For love to come again.
And it never did.
But...
But?
Well... I've just met someone.
Oh, Lizzie!
That's wonderful!
So maybe a new life will begin soon.
But don't tell Sarah.
Of course not.
She thinks I should be happy on my own, you know, find my inner power.
She says I should be choosing my men instead of them choosing me.
Well, sometimes...
Sarah's a c**t.
(gasping) Yes.
But a well-meaning... c**t.
(laughing)
And of course, we all recognise this beauty.
Popular because of its distinctive flag-worthy leaf, the sugar maple sap is also used to make, you guessed it, maple syrup. You know, they tap the tree just before the leaves start to open and... they have a...
But now they use a whole... tube system to...
So it's a whole production now, but this tree could produce sap just by itself.
By itself.
About f*cking time!
Welcome to our last class, where we will test out our newfound voices.
I want you to pair up and interview each other.
You're going to discover the essence of each other through direct, strong inquiry.
Except no bullshit... Only truths.
Narrow in on the vulnerability and go in for the k*ll.
Don't be polite. OK, Jennaya?
Yes?
You're up.
Me?
Pick somebody.
Um... I don't know, it's just, um... identifying vulnerability, it just seems kind of mean.
Kind of... like, you don't wanna hurt anybody?
No, I don't.
OK. Do me. Get up here.
You?
I'm gonna make it easy on you.
You don't even have to ask me any questions.
Just tell me what you think of me.
Um...
No?
Too weak even to do that.
You're like a tea bag that's been left in a pot for too long, Jennaya.
You don't have even a bit of flavour left.
I'm not a tea bag.
No, you're not a tea bag!
You're a used tea bag!
OK, you know what? I think I'm just gonna go.
Good! Great!
Quit, that's right. Prove that you don't have the strength to do this.
Yellow is not your colour.
Really?
And I thought this scarf suited me.
Well, it doesn't.
Well, thank you for telling me.
And now, let me tell you something.
You have not grown, not even a little bit, in this entire workshop.
You have been a disappointment to me and to every single person in this room.
In short, you have failed.
I failed?
Yes.
Oh, for God's sake! Tell her!
Tell her! (approbations)
Tell her that she's a controlling bully and that my husband said no because he had taste.
(gasping)
You're a controlling bully.
And a whore, apparently.
We all hate you. Especially me.
Is that so?
Well, well, well.
Now you've done it, haven't you?
You've finally found your voice!
(cheering) You all have. I could practically feel your diaphragms expanding!
Oh, talk about a transformation!
Oh, I get it.
Can I have my money back?
And this shy little thing reaches down into her pudendum and she lets her have it.
The whole stupid exercise actually worked.
Did you find your voice?
I don't know.
I have a voice, don't I?
Oh, that sounds healthy.
I'll tell you what happened. I was distracted by what she said about Al.
And about what you said.
Me?
About Al.
And that f*cking password, which I can't for the life of me f*cking guess.
I feel like I don't know him at all, that I never did.
You knew him, just didn't know everything about him.
Sure, he probably looked at p*rn on the internet, and he probably flirted with women, and he had doubts and resentments... who cares?
He loved you.
That doesn't mean that you're the only thing he ever thought of.
But honestly, I thought I was.
Welcome!
I'm a friend of Davina's.
Davina? Davina?
She doesn't even know her own name.
Davina!
I'll be right back.
Have a look around.
Thank you.
What colourful art!
Yes.
What are...
It was "Davina"!
What was Davina?
The password!
And there's a letter, and I'm afraid that it's a deathbed confession. Please read it for me, please?
But I have...
Lizzie will watch the door.
I'll watch the door.
Please.
"Dearest Davina, if you're reading this, I did not recover from my myocardial infarction as young Dr. Taylor had promised, so please sue him. And you figured out my password, clever girl. Of course it is your name, because you're constantly on my mind. I can't imagine..."
This isn't... this isn't a confession.
I don't think I should read any more.
You take your time.
I'm going to go sell some vaginas.
OK.
(sob)
(knocking)
Davina!
Ed!
I'm in love!
You better come in.
It's unbelievable, I mean, I can't believe it myself, I'm just...
I'm so happy! For the first time in my life, I feel complete!
Well, that's wonderful! What's her name?
Oh, Lucy! Lucy!
She came on one of my walks. The sex, Davina!
Christ, the sex is unbelievable!
It's the first time in 20 years that I haven't fallen asleep!
I mean three times, one night!
You bitch!
No!
You stole my husband!
It wasn't her!
What?
It was somebody else!
Who?
Just a girl on my walk!
You would love her, she's like a child!
She's 23 years old...
No! No!
La la la la la la la la la!
Sarah, be reasonable.
La la la la la!
This is for the best!
(sobbing) It's good for both of us!
No!
Ow!
(sobbing)