01x01 - The Mysterious Disappearance of the Girl No One Knew

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

Woman: Chantal?!

Chantal?!

Man: Chantal?!

Chantal?!

Chantal?!

Chantal?!

Chantal?!

All: Chantal?!

♪♪

Woman: Girl, you standin' in sh*t.

Huh?

Nasty.

Don't wear them on the train.

Make the whole MTA smell like sh*t.

♪ Obedear, the sky is low watch ♪
♪ Fluent seamen rig their rudders, so... ♪

So, Kristine runs up to us with, like, shards of glass Mm-hmm. literally still in her hair. And she's, like, "Help me flip my car over!"

And I was like, "No. Call the police."

You know, and, like, I felt so bad for her, but it was like, "You can't bring us into your mess," you know?

This is not enough ketchup.

I'm gonna need some more ketchup, sweetie.

Do you guys remember that girl Chantal Witherbottom?

Mm.

Uh, no. Who is that?

I do feel like I remember that name.

She was like... She was like this girl...

You know, we went to college with her.

She...

I'm just trying to think of a way you would remember her.

Um... here, look.

Do you have ketchup?

Oh.

Dory: Remember?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, she sucked.

Why'd she suck?

Because she had nothing to offer.

She always, like, brushing her hair in public.

Yeah.

It's, like, brush it home, please.

Right.

She was always just, like, around, and she was, um...

I mean, she was very jealous of me.

Do you?

Portia: It was... It was like...

No. I don't recognize her, no.

It wasn't always that way.

Nice picture, though.

Because, you guys remember?

Hey, big man!

It was, like, off the bat, I was cast as a freshman in all the plays.

And, you know, it was, like, some people got it, but her job was to read lines with me.

Uh-huh.

So, she didn't like that.

Well, she's gone missing.

What do you mean "gone missing"?

She's, like, a missing person.

There's posters of her, like, all over the city.

Dory, what happened to her?

I mean, she's missing.

Well, where is she?

That's... That's the question.

Why?

Portia, no one at the table knows.

[Voice breaking] Oh, my God.

I feel like... I feel like I'm about to cry.

I know, right? I mean, it's insane.

Dor... did I sleep with that waiter a few years ago?

I don... I don't know.

Because he's acting like he doesn't remember me.

Drew: And we've been severely under-ketchuped.

Excuse me. Hey.

It's just crazy 'cause we... we were friends.

Friends?

You just described her as "That girl, Chantal Witherbottom."

Yeah, but... she was really nice to me.

You know, I felt like she had a really good heart.

Don't you think it's so sad?

I think it's sad.

It's sad.

I hope she's okay. Mm-hmm.

Drew: You got crap in your teeth.

What?

Come here. Let me dig it out.

Oh, no, it's okay.

Oh, come on.

No, I'm still eating.

[Giggles]

Never mind, it's...

Excuse me. Yes. You or your friend.

♪ I got a roof ♪
♪ Got a roof ♪
♪ Got a master plan ♪
♪ Still I don't give a hoot ♪
♪ I'm on signs, and I'm on the news ♪

Woman: Chantal Witherbottom was pursing an MFA in poetry when she finally achieved her goal of self-publishing her collection of poems.

And then she disappeared under mysterious circumstances.

Drew: Babe.

Last seen at her sister's bridal shower at their family home in Chappaqua, New York...

Babe.

...Witherbottom's sister Elizabeth

Babe.

told officials she sent Chantal

Baby.

on an errand to pick up cupcakes.

Yo.

But she never returned.

Babe!

Hi.

I need to eat now.

[Beep]

♪ She tastes like heat and rain ♪
♪ She tastes like heat and ra-a-in ♪
♪ She tastes like heat and rain ♪

You know...

♪ She tastes like heat and ra-a-in ♪

...I think I'm gonna do that Leading Women to Lead thing.

That's something you think I'd be good at, right?

♪ Something I could be good at ♪
♪ Something I could be good at ♪
♪ What are you talking abo-o-ut? ♪
♪ What is up with you, Dory? ♪

[Grunting, breathing heavily]

Do you want me to...

Aw! Shh. Shh. Don't talk, baby.

Come on. Don't talk. Don't talk. Don't talk.

Shh. Shh.

Oh, you almost ready?

Yeah.

Here we go.

[Grunting]

Are you okay?

Yeah.

My foot's cramping.

[Exhales sharply]

♪♪

Goodwill. Goodwill.

Oh, God. What was I thinking? Goodwill.

Ah!

This I have been saving for you.

To do what with?

Wear it.

Oh, yeah, of cour... Yeah. Oh, okay.

You could belt it. It's perfect.

Yeah.

Oh, wait. How on earth are you gonna carry all this stuff 10 blocks?

I just thought I'd get an Uber...

Perfect!

...and then I could just pick up the dry-cleaning on my way back.

Dory, how is it that you are so good at all this stuff no one else wants to do?

Yeah. I'm just happy I could help.

♪♪

[Indistinct conversations]

Look, my parents were very progressive, which was great.

Yeah, they were great.

Oh! Hey! One second.

And, um...

And right now I'm working for a major artist.

I'm producing her show.

I can't really say who she is, but, um, she's huge.

Um, I'm a stylist. I'm a designer.

I can act if I need to.

I could curate.

I really just like projects.

I should introduce you to Martine.

Oh, I love Martine. [Chuckles]

She's amazing, so no introduction needed.

Portia: Yeah, but it's just so cute because "Surviving Essex" is, like, my parents' favorite show, and so they are so sweet and excited, and, like, they get it because I'm...

I'm kind of doing it as an actor now, which is...

I don't know if you're, like, a creative type...

I don't really watch TV, so...

Dory, do you know my friend Alyssa?

No. Hi.

Hi.

Elliott: Alyssa's a chef at Glasserie, and Corinne is a designer at Vogue.

Oh, wow.

This is Dory. She is my friend... from college.

Can I, um, talk to you for a moment?

Sure.

So, Drew... were the LSATs hard?

Yeah, I wouldn't know.

I, um... I go to business school.

Ohh.

We don't take that.

I...

Hey, Portia.

Hi!

Are you okay?

Yeah. Why? Why?

Well, I saw your post about your friend.

Chantal?

Oh!

It's so hard.

[Voice breaking] Yeah. Thank you for asking.

No, of course.

That's so sweet of you.

[Normal voice] I'm okay.

Good.

I just hope she is.

Yeah.

We just hope she's having a moment.

Totally.

But you are... Like, your support means so much to me and to, like, her family.

Oh, of course.

Of course. Yeah.

Thank you.

Marc, if it looks like I was flirting, it's probably 'cause I was, okay?

It's part of my work, and you have to be comfortable with that.

Okay, but as your boyfriend...

Uh! That word!

Okay, I swallow your cum.

Shh.

I take your mom to lunch every Sunday.

To me... To me, that means "boyfriend."

Okay, look, look.

I think what we have is so, so, so, so, so, so special.

But when you use that term, it just kind of undoes all of that, okay?

If you're gonna make this into a problem, I feel like you should go home.

But we are in love!

See, I feel like we're saying the same thing.

I set a Google alert for Chantal, but it keeps updating me with this woman who has the same name, who just turned 115 in Miami.

Hmm.

Which is, you know, impressive, but...

[Grunts]

What?

Dory!

Don't look! Don't!

Oh, my God.

Should I say hi to him first, or wait till he says...

[Whispering] He's coming. Which one should I do?

I don't know, but he's here. He's here.

[Normal voice] Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hi.

Hi.

[Laughs] Hey, what's up?

Hey.

How you doing?

I'm okay.

Good.

Yeah.

Well, hey, I-I think I'm gonna head out of here.

Oh, but you just got here.

Yeah, I just...

I just realized I'm not really up for this.

But, hey, it's good to see you.

It's been a minute.

Yeah.

You're not still working for that rich lady, right?

No.

All right.

I-I mean, no, yeah, yeah, I am, but it's just like... just for now.

Sure. Sure.

Yeah.

Cool.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

This is nice.

Mm.

Uh...

Bye.

I made you a little drink.

Thanks.

[Both chuckle]

♪♪

[Muffled shouting in distance]

Should we do something?

There's no point.

Something terrible could be happening.

Yeah, something terrible is happening everywhere all the time.

[Thudding, shouting continues]

Oh, my God.

Okay.

This is horrible.

Yeah.

This is horrible.

Okay, how about this?

If we hear, like, a glass shatter or something like that, I'll go over there.

Okay.

Okay?

Yeah.

[Glass shatters]

Oh, my God!

Uh, yeah, I don't...

I... That could have been anything.

I don't know.

I just... Look.

Honestly, if you want to go over there and deal with that, that's fine.

I don't know.

Wha... Well, I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do, either. Dory, I can't...

[Shouting continues]

[Papers rustling]

Paulette: Okay, so...

Look, these girls, these teenage girls, they're a very, very special breed.

They're smart. They're driven.

They're skillful. They're passionate.

These girls need to be challenged, and I just feel that with you, they would...

They'd be bored out of their minds.

I mean... [Chuckles] I read all four pages of your personal statement, and... it... it seems to paint a picture of someone who's immobile, someone stuck, perhaps.

I-I mean, I... [Sighs]

Honestly, you're not even equipped to teach ticktacktoe.

Right. Um...

I think, uh... what I was trying to express was, um...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm, uh... I'm having a little trouble finding my words.

[Stammers] Uh, I'm sorry.

I'm... I'm sorry. I-I-I'm so sorry.

Look, it's just not a good match.

That's it. It's clear-cut.

I just feel a little lost.

Um...

I... I didn't even really want to do this program, really.

But I thought it would feel nice.

It's just, like, everybody can tell me what I can't do.

But nobody can tell me what I can do.

How'd it go?

I didn't get it.

What? Oh, my God. That's crazy.

Yeah.

Well, do you think they switched up your application or something?

No, no. I think they just hated me.

Oh, no. Nobody hates you.

Come on. Hey.

Yeah?

Let's get some ice cream.

No, I don't want ice cream.

I'll get you Moose Tracks.

I know you like Moose Tracks.

No, I... I don't want any right now.

Okay.

What do you want? I got you. What do you want?

I want...

I really want you to just walk like 10 steps behind me just for... now, okay?

Come on. I'm not gonna walk...

Here. Come on. Look, you're upset, all right?

Yeah.

Let's just take a deep breath, huh?

All right, this is not the end of the world.

This is, what, some thing?

It's whatever.

I know that.

I know that.

It's just whatever.

Look, honestly, when I tend to get overwhelmed, I like to just chill out and think about the things I'm grateful for... you, my mom...

Would you please stop talking?

Please stop talking.

Okay.

Just no words. Just stop.

No. No.

Absolutely.

Yes.

Hey, give me a hug. Come on.

No, I don't want a hug, Drew!

Listen to me...

I get it.

I don't want a hug, I don't want ice cream, I don't want to take a deep breath and think about what I'm thankful for.

I just want you to shut the f*ck up.

Could you do that for me?

Yeah. I'm just trying to help...

I said, "Shut the f*ck up!"

I said, "Shut the f*ck up!"

Why can't you do anything I ask you to do?!

Shut the f*ck up!

Shut the f*ck up!

Shut the f*ck up!!

[Horns honk in distance]

What's up?

Hey.

Hi.

Hi, guys. [Chuckles]

Hey, Elizabeth.

Hi.

Hey. Good. How are you?

♪♪

I've just been, like, waking up, like, in cold sweats every morning.

Really?

Yeah, and, like, in a good way, though.

Pull me down.

Have you been to, like, a doctor?

Yeah.

Elliott: Hi, Mark.

Oh, hey! Elliott!

Hey! [Laughs]

Uh, Luke, uh, Elliott. Elliott, Luke.

Hi. I'm Luke.

Hi. Are you guys friends?

Uh, well, we met last night, and now we're here, so...

Right, right, right. Shh, shh. So sorry.

Um, It's just crazy because this has been my yoga class for probably three years now, give or take a few, so this guest appearance, which seems like such a fun coincidence, is clearly a very calculated move.

Okay, well, it is a great class.

Yeah, I love Danielle. We're very close friends.

[Both sigh]

Portia: Hi!

Um, is my mom around?

She is. You can go on in.

Great.

Oh, and congratulations.

Thank you.

[Knock on door]

Hi, Mom!

Mom, why are you eating? We're supposed to get lunch.

I'll be ready in two.

Okay.

[Chuckles] It's so sweet of your receptionist.

She was congratulating me.

I'm, like, so embarrassed that you can't stop telling people.

Congratulating you for what?

"Surviving Essex."

What?

It's the show that I got the audition and then I got.

Hey, superstar.

[Chuckles nervously]

Congratulations... Senior Policy Adviser?

Get out of town.

Oh, no.

No, that's... No, that's not me.

That's my sister, Alexa. I'm... I'm just Portia.

Oh! Sorry.

It's okay.

Cool.

Eric, have you had lunch yet?

I have.

Well, why don't you join us and have some iced tea?

Otherwise we'll be bored to death.

Sounds great.

[Knock on door]

Hey, uh... Hey, w-what are you doing here?

Um... can I come in?

Uh, no.

No, it's actually not a good time.

Oh. Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Are you seeing somebody?

Y... No, I mean... It doesn't matter. I don't want to know, actually.

I came here just because I wanted to, uh, ask you something, and, uh, you know, you're a real honest guy.

[Chuckles nervously]

I just wanted to ask, uh, what did you even... like about me, like, when we were together, you know?

Come on.

Thanks. [Clears throat]

Julian: Jimmy, stop the timer.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize. I can go.

I mean, I don't want to get in the way of your...

It's fine.

...education.

So, did you stop the journalist thing, or...

No, no, no. I'm still a journalist.

I just like helping the kids.

Oh.

So, tell me and Jimmy what's up.

Well, it's mainly just... all this Chantal stuff.

It's just really got me thinking...

Chantal?

Yeah.

You know she's missing, right?

It's so, so scary.

What does Chantal have to do with you?

Well, it's just... It's made me wonder.

Like, would anyone even care if something bad happened to me?

You're doing that victim-y thing again.

Well, I'm just very upset by it all, you know? And it's... it's devastating.

Yeah, for her, but not for you.

Am I not allowed to feel sad for somebody else?

Jimmy, if someone d*ed that you didn't know, would you be sad?

Don't... That's not fair.

Jimmy, please don't answer that question, okay?

Okay, look, look...

You asked me to be honest, so I'm just gonna say this...

I think you've decided that this matters to you because you have nothing else.

I forgot, um... how you can be.

And...

And I forgot that I forgot... that.

So, no. I-It didn't answer my question.

Uh, I'm gonna go.

Jimmy, best of luck.

[Sighs]

All right, Jimmy.

Let's get you into college.

[Muffled shouting in distance]

[Loud thud]

April: Just a second.

Cool.

Drew: Hi. How's it going?

It's fine.

Oh, cool. Um, hey, you know, if you ever need, um, a safe place to hang out, we're right upstairs, and we got a really comfy couch and a hot shower, and, um...

Look, honestly, I know what it's like when things get bad, and that guy you're with is, like, a total jerk.

It's nuts, and I want you to know it's not your fault.

What's the matter with you?

Noth...

Do you have, like, a little d*ck or something?

Oh, um...

"Oh, we've got a really comfy couch, and we want to help you out"?

Well, that part's true.

Get the f*ck out of my business, you baby-cock bitch.

Okay, good sh*t.

You're a bitch.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Get the f*ck out of my...

Yes.

Can you speak English?

I do, yeah.

Do you speak English?

Uh-huh.

Get the f*ck on out of my f*cking house!!

Sorry. I want to say sorry about this.

f*ck you!

Okay. Good stuff.

I can smell your d*ck from here, you piece of sh*t!

Understood.

Whoa!

♪♪

Man: Chantal?!

Nancy: I've got to go.

Cover me.

Pammy: Oh, Jesus. Are you kidding me?

There's nobody out here. [Scoffs]

[Sighs]

Man: Chantal?!

[Urinating]

Oh, Jesus, Nancy!

Sorry.

God!

I'm sorry.

[Gasps]

♪ I came down over the sleeping mountains ♪
♪ Where our wide toes plunged into the weeping shale ♪
♪ To tear our skin up off from the bottom ♪
♪ Leaves our ankles bare ♪
♪ Don't just wander back and forth and leave it ♪
♪ Build it into pinnacles and shrines of some ♪
♪ Some ghastly predicament ♪

Pammy: Richard!!

Pammy?!

Come here, quick!

You got something?

♪ To a bed of hairs with me all coiled up near the bottom ♪
♪ With my chest unbared ♪

Chantal?

Chantal?

♪ Obedear, the sky is low ♪

Hey, i-it's me.

It's Dory, from college.

♪ Gather up, it's harm in gauze with grateful arms ♪
♪ Obedear, the sky is low ♪

Oh.

I'm coming in.

♪ Gather up, it's harm in gauze with grateful arms ♪
♪♪

That's her blouse.

♪ Obedear, the sky is low watch ♪

That's Chantal's blouse.

♪ Fluent seamen rig their rudders, so they'll ♪
♪ Graze it with their wind arrows ♪
♪ 'Tis in the fathoms that, that they brush below ♪
♪♪