03x02 - Lost weekend

[bunniefuu]

The L Word - x - Lost weekend


SHANE: Previously on The L Word.

Angus, would you be interested in playing for the kids at Angelica's six-month celebration?

Thanks, I could really use the cash.

She's a little stressed out today.

We're about to have a home visit from an adoption social worker.

- What about men?
- Men?

You do know that we're lesbians, right?

Dana, who told me she needed closure, closure with Lara.

You have a lump.

What are you looking at?

I'm going to meet Carmen's mother.

- And?
- I'm going to act straight.

How pretty.

There.

- Want to come to L.A. with me?
- Yeah.

Are you thinking about having sex with me right now?

It's crossed my mind.

Who did that to you?

I did it to myself.

Looks like someone is swimming up the wrong stream tonight, sugar.

I'm...

(CLEARS THROAT)

I'm looking for sex.

Well, you're in the wrong place, sweetie.

Try the Safeway in the Marina.
It's crawling with straight, hot men.

I'm looking for girls.

Just a little further down, honey.
Usually around that corner.

Thanks.

TERI: I'm looking for sex. Sex...

I'm looking for girls. I'm looking for girls.

Oh, God.

f*ck me so I forget who I am.

It's too late to stop me.

Jesus.

Oh, Jesus.

Twenty-one. Twenty-one. I just won.

How can I count road k*ll when I'm driving the whole time?

I won fair and square so, as the winner, you have to give me a present.

- Please.
- All right. Open the glove.

- Oh, my God.
- It's in that box.

Wait, what are you doing with a g*n?

- Why do you have a g*n in your car?
- It's just a Taser.

It's like the cops use. it just shocks people.

I know, but what are you...
What are you going to do with it?

- It's just in case.
- You decide to rob a -Eleven?

Look, I've never had to use it.

It's just that I get a lot of sh*t from people, and I need to take care of myself.

I'm just going to put this away.

Now, open the box and get your prize already.

Yes, ma'am.

- Holy sh*t.
- But be careful. it's all I got.

You know, you know what?

Maybe we should wait till we get a little closer to L.A. before we do some.

Okay?

Okay, did you speak with the...

- The croupier?
- Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, of course I did, Kit. I spoke with everybody.

The vendors, Absolut, Elvis and Ann are doing the sound check at : ...

Well, you know that Carmen is...

Yeah, Carmen's DJing, and she's bringing her own set, and also she's going to be here to do playback at the sound check.

Okay, well, I guess you're just Mr. Billie-on-the-spot.

Spit-spot. That's me.

I'm here to lick your young 'uns into shape.

I'm your boy, Kit.

And frankly, I'm much more qualified to run this place than you are.

Joking.

But I guarantee that after tonight you're going to want me to run this joint.

We'll see, Mr. Mary P.

Well, I think the reason I was with Lisa, the lesbian man, is because he wasn't dangerous for me.
You know, I knew I wouldn't get addicted to a guy.

I actually remember having this conversation with my friend, Tina, that, you know, I think guys are kind of easy.

Sorry. And I was looking through this pamphlet here and...

About all the different kind of love addicts, and I'm pretty sure I'm a OLA.

Oh, me, too. Yeah, obsessive love.
It's the best.

I mean, worst.

There's nothing worse than when you can't let go of someone who's completely over you, and distant, abusive, controlling, dictatorial...

Egocentric, unloving, selfish, unable to commit.

Yeah, and it's my birthday this week, and I was...

- Hey.
- Happy birthday, Alice.

- Happy birthday, Alice.
- MAN: Happy birthday.

Thank you.

Yeah, I just... You know, it'd be great if Dana would just come by and, you know, give me a little prezzie, nothing big.

You know, maybe kiss my eyelids or something.

WOMAN : Oh, get a grip.
WOMAN : Get a grip.

- MAN: Yeah.
- Let Alice share, please.

Thanks. Yeah, I mean, I think you guys would be obsessing, too, 'cause our sex was mind-blowingly, unfuckingly unbelievable, and it just kind of, you know, it makes you realize that this person could be the one great, true love of your life.

You know?

But she'll be back. She will be back.

Because our love...
Our love was too intense. That's all.

Mummy loves you, too, darling.
Yeah, I'll see you next week.

You have a wonderful time at the ballet.
I wish I was coming.

Okay, speak to you tomorrow.
Big kiss. Bye.

I wonder if most little boys get that excited about the ballet?

- How was it?
- It sucked.

I have a little surprise for you.

- You do?
- Mmm-hmm.

(BURPS )

Oh, God. I'm so sorry. I'm such a gross bisexual love addict right now.

- Hi.
- I'm Janice.

I know you're having a hard time, and I'm here to take care of you.

We're an exclusively lesbian service.

Did you hire me a hooker?

Alice, it's a lesbian cleaning service.
Lez Clean Up.

She's going to sort out your entire apartment.

Oh, my God. I love you.
Thank you so much.

My apartment's so dirty right now, and, like, ever since, you know...

I'm a big fan of The Chart, and I'm so sorry about Dana. So sorry.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Thank you. Thanks.

- Okay, great.
- All right.

You're so f*cking beautiful.

And I'm going to make you come while you're driving, miss.

My girlfriend used to give me head while we drove to school.

Hey, lady, I'm not your ex, and I'm not your girlfriend. Got it?

Right.

- Oh, f*ck.
- What?

- sh*t. We ran out of gas.
- Oh, no.

Don't stop, Jenny. Keep going.
Don't blue-ball me.

(WHISTLING)

Alice, do you want me to clean up around this...

Around this... Around Dana?

Alice, what do you want me to do with this Dana thing?

Alice is in the loo. What Dana thing?

Jesus bloody Christ.

- Alice!
- What?

- What the f*ck, Helena?
- Have you completely lost your mind?

(STAMMERING) Yeah... That's no biggie.

It's a f*cking shrine, Alice.

A bordering-on-psychotic, serial-k*ller-obsessive-type shrine.

- Dismantle it.
- Oh, God. No, please. Let it live. No.

Okay, okay, just...
Let me keep this. Please?

Just let me keep this.
This was really hard to get.

I had to get it in the middle of the night.

You can take the shrine.
You can take the shrine.

Just not this.

- Get a box.
- JANICE: There's a box.

Not that box.

You should be ashamed of yourself, Alice.

It's time to start getting over Dana.

Now, here's what we're going to do.

I've tried. I've been to meetings...

Just listen. Okay?

I didn't have a chance to wash everything, so...

Great.

I have to pee.

Don't look.

Hey.

Oh, my God. How do you...
How do you do that?

I always have, even when I was little.

When my dad caught me, he popped me one.

Hello.

Hello. Please stop.

Saved.

- Well, hey, there, fellow.
- She's not a...

Looks like you need some help.

Yeah, we ran out of gas.

Not a problem.
I'll siphon some out of the RV.

- My name's Hal, by the way.
- Hi.

- Hi. I'm Jenny. Nice to meet you.
- That's my wife, Martha.

Hello, Martha.

We got some fried chicken in the camper, if you and your husband are hungry.

Yes, I would love some fried chicken.
Thank you.

What did you say your name was, son?

It's Max.

SHANE: Thank you, baby.
CARMEN: You're welcome.

You two are so hot together.

At least someone's getting a little something, something.

So what's up with the slot machine, Kit?

Yeah, well, if you know Billie Blaikie, he doesn't do anything small.

So you guys are coming, right?
It won't be Vegas without you.

Wait a minute. Are you talking about the Billie Blaikie? Billie Blaikie?

Dude, he is, like, the best party promoter in town.

Kit was thinking about hiring him as her new manager.

Oh, my gosh. Congratulations, lady.

Yeah, it's great if he can keep it in his pants long enough to close out the bar.

Oh, I'm sorry. Before we forget, but we can't make it to your baby birthday party tomorrow.

- Fine. You know what?
- Because we have a...

Oh, that's right, the quinceañera.

- Yeah, the quinceañera.
- Don't worry about it.

It's just really an excuse to have a baby play group and half-birthday celebration.

- Wait. I don't get it. What's a... What's a...
- CARMEN: A quinceañera.

BETTE: Quinceañera.
CARMEN: Quinceañera. Yes.

They're planning a surprise birthday party for me.

Big birthday party to celebrate a girl turning , and it's my cousin's birthday so...

- I almost thought they forgot.
- Okay. Just walk up.

- So it's kind of like a bat mitzvah.
- With tamales.

- Hi.
- Hey.

What are you guys talking about?

We're having a party for Angelica's sixth month.

Do you want to come?

I would love to come to that six-month-old birthday party.

I would... Can I... I'd love to bring Helena.

- Alice.
- Helena.

I think she should be there.
I think it's time, Bette.

KIT: Well, they are good friends.
SHANE: Yeah, they're always hanging out.

Well, listen, Helena, if you really don't have anything else to do, then that would be fine if you came to the party.

Thank you. That's really sweet of you, but you know, you really don't have to...

She doesn't.

What the hell are you doing in here, boy?
Can't you read? This is the ladies' room.

Get the f*ck out.

I'm a girl.

JENNY: Hey. I got you some lunch.
MAX: Hey.

Hey, let's take off, okay?

- Why? Can't we eat first?
- Come on. Let's go.

You see that freak there?
It was just in the girls' bathroom.

- Must be a f*gg*t.
- GIRL: f*gg*t.

- f*gg*t!
- Hey, f*gg*t!

- What did you say?
- Just let it go, Jenny.

- GIRL: Johnny, you're crazy!
- I called you a f*gg*t.

GIRL: Oh, my God. I can't believe it.

Look, man, we don't want any trouble, okay?

- We were just having some food.
- I don't want any trouble either.

Just want to get out and talk?

Want to have a little talk?

- Look, we're out of here, all right?
- Dude, leave us alone.

- f*ck you, f*gg*t. Get out of the truck!
- sh*t.

- Get the f*ck out.
- JENNY: Stop it.

MAX: No. No!
JENNY: Take it back.

GIRL: f*cking freak!
MAX: Let me go!

- Let her go.
- Shut up, freak.

- GIRL: f*gg*t!
- Is this your f*cking boyfriend, huh?

- Jenny, get back...
- She fucks you like a man?

- Get back in the truck, Jenny.
- Yeah, Jenny, get back in the truck, and I'll show you how a real man can f*ck.

What did you just say?

I said get back in the f*cking truck, and I'll show you how a real man can f*ck...

Yeah?

Jesus Christ.

Fucker.

- Well, there's your f*gg*t back.
- Come on, Jenny.

Why don't you give me a call when you're ready for a real man, and we can have some fun then.

Sure, dude. No problem.

GIRL: John!

- Don't touch him!
- Hey.

We're not faggots.
We're dykes, you assh*le.

- f*ck you!
- You're going to f*cking die, bitch!

You disgusting bitch! f*ck you!

MAX: I hope he's all right.

JENNY: f*ck him.
It should have been a real g*n.

Girls, boys, punks, freaks, butches, femmes, kings, queens, trannies, trainees, ladies and gentlemen,

I am Billie Blaikie, your host for this evening, and welcome to The Planet's first annual casino night,

Vulva Las Vegas!

Thank you, and let's hear it for our cute little DJ, Carmen!

Anyway, the money you're going to raise tonight will go to AIDS Project Los Angeles.

Let's hear it for AIDS Project. That's right.
Yeah, yes.

That's a much, much better cause than the p*rn websites you normally spend your money on, you dirty, dirty girl.

In a few moments, all bets will be off, 'cause the big show is about to start, so get your last few games in, my darlings.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

You dirty, dirty, dirty girl.

And as for me, I'm off to a Little League game.

Oh, come on.

Disgruntled women. Come on!

Loosen up, lesbians.

I know you don't want to talk about all that cock and condom stuff, do you?

No.

You wanna... You wanna celebrate the snatch, don't you?

You want to venerate the vag*na!

You want to praise the p*ssy!

Well, rest assured, we all want to praise the p*ssy here.

Okay, keep drinking, everybody, because you know what happens when you keep drinking.

Everyone looks cuter.

And PS, here's the money.

Oh, do you think this is it?

Yeah. Looks like a typical small-town gay bar.

Come on. Let's get inside.

- WOMAN: All right, triple. Come on.
- No whammies.

Oh, wow.

WOMAN : Nice.
WOMAN : Nice job.

It's just an idea. But try red.

No, no, those are your chips. Really.

Shane, you can't. Don't.

Just take them and try.

Bet the lot, Bette. You look lucky tonight.

She is lucky. She's my sister.
Come on, girl.

Come on. Put it down.

- Come on, Bette.
- Come on, Bette.

KIT: Come on, girl.
TINA: Just do it.

- Yes.
- Okay. All right.

TINA: All right. Here we go.

All right. Load it up.

Give me my money.

KIT: Honey, you've been losing all your life.
I know you.

Oh, Bette, come on.

Thirty-two red.

Oh, my God! I actually won.

- TINA: Patience.
- Thank you.

That's what I'm talking about, see?

- No, no, no, this is your percentage.
- No, I want you to have it.

- Here, I have dental dams, ladies. Safe.
- Okay.

Keep it safe. Keep it safe.

Place your bets, please. Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets.

Thanks.

Hey. I could use a few of those over here, huh?

Who's my tiger?

(GROWLS )

And two more tequila here, ladies.

Thank you.

I think I know who'll be taking who home tonight.

What does that mean?

I want to rock!

I want to rock!

Rock me!

Let's go look around.

It's subtle...

- Hey.
- Hey.

You want to dance?

Come on.

Two more tequilas.

Tequila? Sure thing.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

Hi. Can we go?

Now?

- Yeah, if... What's your name?
- Katrina.

Yeah, if, Katrina, you don't mind.

I'm sorry.
I didn't know you two were together.

- Well, you do now.
- We're not.

Bye.

So have you seen David yet? Is he here?

No, I haven't seen him.
I haven't seen him at all.

So what do you think?

What do you think of Billie?

Well, the place is packed.

What?

You don't like him?

"I'm on my way to a Little League game"?

Oh, he was just playing.

It was a joke.

It's not even remotely funny.

Guys and dolls, I give you Elvis, the king, and Miss Kitten-with-a-Whip herself, Ann-Margret!

Thanks, Billie, you nut.

Oh, hey there, kids.

Twist, twist.

Look at this place, Elvis.

What a blowout!

(SINGING THE LAD YLOVES ME)

Whoa, what's going on in here?

Hey. David.

This looks like a nightmare.

Oh, this is another wild night at The Planet.

- She said you wanted to talk to me.
- Yeah. Yeah, I do...

KIT: Hey, David.

So, what do you think?

I think that they're... That they're freaks, and this kind of nonsense attracts freaks to your once-respectable establishment.

You know what?

For a minute, I was seriously considering shagging you, Mr. lzod, but you're not a very nice fellow, are you?

Billie, this is David Waters.
This is Kit's son.

Enchanté, then, dark star.

And David, this is Billie Blaikie, my new manager.

And you won't regret it, my darling.

See you later.

Your new manager?

David, don't you go passing judgment on him.

That man has done more for this community than...

Kit, Kit, David has a right to his opinion.

I know he does, but, you know, let me tell you something.

It gives me great joy to see these people in here laughing and partying, and living the life they love, and loving the life they live.

And I can see that you just can't get down with that, can you?

No, Mom, I can't get down with that.

Just give me that.

I'll see you both later.

Kit, I really need him to be there tomorrow when Roberta Collie shows up.

I know. I know. Okay?

I'll talk to him.

I just need to sleep it off, okay?

He's such an arrogant little prick.

Are you going to tell me what you want, or are you just going to sit there acting all weird and silent?

What do you mean, what do I want?

I mean, you say you don't want to be my girlfriend, and then you got all weird and jealous girlfriend on me back there.

I know.

That was...

That was f*cked up.

Do you want to be my outlaw girlfriend, Jenny?

Do you want to be my friend?

Do you just want to be my f*ck buddy on the road?

What do you want?

I want you to get up against the wall.

- Go on.
- All right.

Now unbutton your shirt.

Open.

Wow.

Tell me you want me to f*ck you.

You never let me f*ck you.

No.

I can't.

I'm sorry.

f*ck.

I'm sorry.

Come here.

Come on.

Tina?

Are you awake?

(MUMBLES )

I'm scared.

It's okay, baby.

What if I can't adopt her?

What if I can't find a job that I really love?

What if we lose the house?

I just... I feel like...

I feel like I don't have any control over anything.

I mean, I don't know what's going on with us.

I don't know if it's just all the changes and...

Tina?

Tina?

KIT: Hi, little Foxy Brown.

- You do look a little like me, don't you?
- DAVID: You see?

She's not listening to anything I say.

Oh, I heard you.

I'm supposed to take progesterone to help me with the crazies, but what are you gonna take to help you with your bigotry?

Kit, I thought we agreed.

I'm sorry. You're right.

We are going to put this all behind us so we can agree to disagree so David will help us out today.

Hi, baby.

Okay, so tell me why I'm here.

What can I do for you ladies?

BETTE: Well,

David.

Do you want to hold her for a little while?

Go to your Uncle David for a little while.

There's a woman coming over in just a little while, and we wanted her to see how great you are with Angelica.

You mind if I ask why?

She's our adoption caseworker, and she's making her second home visit today, and one of her big concerns was whether or not...

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Is that her already?

My God.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

One of her big concerns was whether or not Angelica had an important man in her life, and we just thought it would reassure her to let her see you with Angelica.

So that she could see that you're Angelica's main man.

You know what I'm saying?

Hi, Roberta.

- I should be all right now.
- Okay.

Let us know if you need any more help, ma'am.

We're just in the neighborhood.

Thank you. You're too kind.

- I'm sorry. I can't.
- What do you mean, you can't?

Roberta, you remember Kit Porter, Bette's sister, and this is her son, David, Angelica's cousin.

I don't believe in gay adoption.

I think that a child is best raised having both a mother and a father, and I think that she will suffer later on in the absence of traditional family values, so I'm afraid that it would be hypocritical of me to stand here and to vouch for you.

Especially in front of a government official.

Sorry.

It was nice to meet you, ma'am.

Well.

I'm glad to see someone in your family has proper respect for the government.

This is called The Ultimate Patriot Act.

It's by a Guerilla Girl.

I love it.

Tina hates it.

What, she hates this piece?
Well, that's good.

We want the work to elicit strong reactions.

Not from my life partner.
I want my partner to support me.

What, unconditionally?

I don't know.
I mean, why shouldn't I expect the person that I'm closest to in the world to try to see things from my point of view instead of challenging me and questioning my convictions all the time?

I really... I get enough of that from the world at large.

Are you and Tina okay?

I mean, I know it's hard with a new baby.

We don't really talk anymore.

We just have arguments about money and arguments about babysitters and arguments about breastfeeding schedules.

We had this...

We had this hideous meeting with the adoption social worker this morning.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Julia.
You really don't need this right now.

Look, I have two other pieces that I can show you.

Have you talked to Tina?

Maybe if the two of you saw someone together...

We've been to therapy.

We've seen three different therapists in three years, so...

Bette.

Have you ever heard of Mark Epstein?

Is he an artist?

He's giving a talk tonight.

He's a psychiatrist, but he's also an eminent Buddhist philosopher and author.

Oh, right.

He wrote Thoughts Without A Thinker.

I remember everybody was reading that when I first moved to New York.

Well, he's got a new book.

It's called Open to Desire.

Open to Desire?

I thought Buddhism was about freedom from desire.

I thought desire was supposed to be their root of all evil or something.

Mark's got a lot to say on the subject.

I think it might resonate for you.

Shane?

Shane, come out.

Come on out. Let me see.

Oh, my God. You look like you're five.

I feel like a piñata.

You're too small to be a piñata, but how about the top of a tr*nny wedding cake?

- You're not helping me.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby.

That wasn't funny, was it? Let me see.

Well.

It's okay.

Oh, come here. Come here.

Does this help you at all?

No.

No?

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

What does that mean?

I'm going to lick you until you come in my mouth , times.

What... What are these?

- What are we going to do about the shoes?
- What?

You can't wear those shoes.
You have to change them.

- No.
- Yes.

Stay here. I'm going to get you a pair of cha-cha heels.

(PEPPY MUSIC PLAYING)

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Hi, there. Who are you?
- Roland.

Are you the clown?

I'm the birthday girl, Roland.

And yes, yes, I'm the clown.

Mommy, mommy! The clown's here!

Oh, my God.

Shane, you look tan bonita.

Look, everybody.

Hola, everyone.

This is Carmen's friend, Shane.

She's wearing my dress.

Where is Marisela?

Shouldn't she be here getting ready with the rest of us?

She's probably outside smoking cigarettes, like you did for your quinceañera.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

- Carmen.
- Huh?

Your mama was in Ricardo Lopez's car, making out with him, up until the church was filled.

Mamita, you never told me that story.

That's because it wasn't true, mi hija.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

Was Carmen good during her...

Quinceañera.

- Yeah, quinceañera.
- She was an angel, always.

Carmen was the nuns' favorite.

Isn't that true, Carmencita?

Okay. it's Shane's turn now.
Come on, Shane.

Oh, Mom, no...

No, I...

Such a pretty face.

I'll make you look beautiful. Come. Come.

It's okay. it's okay.

You okay?

Sit.

Shane, your hair is a little uneven.

- You want me to cut it straight?
- No!

I mean, no, thank you. I think...

- Okay, okay.
- It's good. Thanks.

I have another idea.

Girls, I'm sorry to intrude, but...

We have a bit of a disaster on our hands.

The food is disgusting and people are starving.

- We're aware.
- Actually, it's Alice.

She was under the misapprehension that this was a surprise birthday party for her.

- Oh, sh*t. it's Alice's birthday. I forgot.
- Me, too.

Who do you have to f*ck around here to get a beer?

Sorry. Kiddy party.

BETTE: Hey, everybody.
TINA: Hey, everybody.

BETTE: it's time for cake.
TINA: it's time for cake.

WOMAN: Cake time.

ALL: Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

That's really cool.

Well... Yeah.

Can I have her?

Do you want to blow out the candle?

Ready, birthday girl? Ready? Go ahead.

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

- ...seven, eight, nine.
- MERCEDES: Shane!

Shane.

There's somebody I want you to meet.

This is Luis.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Go on. Dance. Dance.

What's up, Luis?

I love her.

- Who's that?
- I love Carmen.

I loved her since I was a little boy.

But she only sees me as a friend.

Maybe you can talk to her for me.

Mercedes says you're her best friend.

You could tell her I love her and I'll be good to her.

- What I would do is I...
- You know, Luis.

Maybe these feelings you have for Carmen, maybe they're not the same for her.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Hi.

Mind if I cut in? Okay.

Isn't this a little risky?

I didn't tell you that in the Latino culture, it's okay if two girls dance with each other.

It's not exactly q*eer.

- You left that part out, huh?
- Yes, I did.

Yeah.

I love your hair.

- You owe me.
- I know. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Thank you so much, Angus.

- I hope you had a good time.
- I...

I ran into an ex of mine.

That means three of my ex-girlfriends are now lesbians.

- That's quite a record.
- What can I say?

I'm attracted to women who like to go down on other women.

- We want to ask you something.
- Okay.

Tina and I were thinking about hiring a nanny for Angelica, just part-time.

And we know that you were looking for part-time work.

And we just think it would be great for Angelica to have a man in her life.

I mean, somebody that she's close to.

A scratchy face. A familiar voice.

I know exactly what you mean.
I'd be honored.

- Great.
- Great.

Thanks, guys.

- That was an awesome birthday.
- You're welcome.

And I don't think I thought of Dana for, like, minutes... Kind of.

- It's good, right?
- That's really good.

- Yeah.
- Thanks.

Oh, how was it today, baby?
You're really tight.

I know. George is kicking my butt.

It's weird.

It's like he wants me to win this tournament more than I do.

Hey, what...

What did Dr. Grubman say?

sh*t. Forgot.

Dana, do you have any idea how hard it was for me to get you that appointment?

I had to promise to cater a private dinner for him and his wife

- just to get you in there before June.
- Oh, no.

And you know that at you should go and get an exam once a year.

- You know that.
- I know. it's just...

I'm sorry. I just...

I've never been to a male gyno before.

I think it's weird, and I just don't want some dude looking up my woodle.

Looking up your woodle?

Well, then, why don't you just go to a lady doctor?

Okay.

- But just go, okay?
- Yes.

I think Bette and Tina have a lady doctor.

- I'll call her tomorrow, okay?
- Okay.

What is this? What's bear night?

This'll be fun. Watch.

(UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING)

Wow. This is great.

Okay, every single person in my family adores you.

My mother, she absolutely loves you.

I love them, too.

- You do?
- Mmm-hmm.

But I wonder how much they'd love me if they knew I was f*cking their daughter.

Well, I wonder who's going to be doing the f*cking tonight, because you looked pretty girly in that dress you had on.

Well.

You look a little girly yourself.

(RHYTHMIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(PHONE RINGING)

No... No, no, no, don't answer it.
Don't answer it.

No, no, no, it's late.

- What if it's an emergency?
- No, no, no.

Hello?

Hi, Jenny.

Yeah. Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.
No, no, no, no, no. Don't worry.

Yeah, we're just...
We're just taking our time.

We're going to be there in a couple days.

Oh, my friend Moira decided to take her pickup truck, and we're driving cross country now.

(LAUGHS )

What? My girlfriend? Hang on.

Excuse me. Moira.

Are you my girlfriend?

We don't know.

"It's not desire that's the problem," one of my teachers used to say.

"It's that your desires are too small."

This shift in consciousness is what links the worlds of art, therapy and meditation.

James Joyce described the mental posture required to appreciate a work of art as "beholding."

"if you pull it too close, it becomes p*rn, "and if you distance yourself, it becomes criticism."