06x03 - Mayham

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Where you been? Hospital, helping Carmela.

The devotion that kid shows.

I just think of my Marie, the kids, In that situation, God forbid.

My ma who the f*ck would take care of her something happens? Except Sil and you guys.

Colombians knock off at noon.

then it's empty.

Managers unit's down a flight.

cuidado! que alguien viene! - who's in there? - open it.

no dispares, soy yo! What the f*ck? Get back! - sh**t the prick.

- Get the f*ck out Of the way.

Cocksucking miserable Spic sh*t! It's supposed to be Empty here daytimes.

Jesus, my f*cking balls! The money! f*ck, my f*cking balls.

- Oogatz here.

- The freeze.

Nothing.

Come on, let's blow.

Lot of f*cking noise we made.

f*ck that.

Close the g*dd*mn door.

This f*cking sh*t for a lousy two G's? Oh, Anthony.

- Hi, Uncle Bobby.

- Hiya, sweetheart.

Cugin'.

I'm gonna go ahead.

What's up? You were at South Mountain Arena yesterday Trying to buy a g*n from that assh*le in the snack shop.

Who told you that? We know how you feel, But you can't do this.

I can't believe you know this.

Who told You this? Look, if my pops was laying in there sh*t up - I'd be thinking the same thing.

- But you can't go there.

Yeah, why the f*ck not? Listen to me, I'm your uncle.

Junior's in federal lock-up.

No one's getting to him there.

Well, it's difficult, but not impossible.

Trust me.

Your dad does not want you to get involved.

You gotta channel that rage elsewheres.

Golden gloves.

- What? - Dumbbells or something.

f*ck your girlfriend more.

You little hothead here.

Did you park in emergency or in the garage? What's going on in there? They're on rounds or something, Dr.

Plepler and the Indian girl.

Hi, did you bring me my sweater? Your sweater? Man, Jesus, f*ck! All right, take it easy.

What is your problem? My problem is I'm old enough to sit With dad all night, be a messenger boy, bring sh*t from the house, But I'm too young to deal with the larger issues? What are you talking about? Like you didn't put them up to it.

Put who up to what? God, he was in such a good mood this morning.

I told the nurse that I thought he moved his eyebrows at around 5:30.

Did she pass that along? 'Cause if not, I'm gonna be furious.

Mrs.

Soprano, you're really gonna have to recalibrate your expectations at this point.

We can't even maintain his blood pressure at a level that we'd like.

Until his fever dissipates and his white cell count comes down, we're a long way from home.

But he's really fighting.

Mom, he's really strong.

That is true.

Hi, dad.

Monastery? I received these this morning.

Do I really look that much like this guy? To a certain extent, all Caucasians look alike.

Look, I'm not Finnerty.

I didn't sell you this heating equipment.

But I am kind of worried about what I might have done.

Because you see, yesterday Yes, tell us, there's no fraud without a fairy tale.

Yesterday, I was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

Oh, my.

And I'm in this strange city and Please come inside.

I came here because I thought you could help me reach Finnerty.

I have his wallet.

I have his briefcase, but I'm not him.

Excuse the brothers for laughing.

One day we will all die, and then we'll be the same as that tree.

No me, no you.

Be that as it may, we need heat.

We need to find someone who will take responsibility.

Well, I can't do that.

Then the lawsuit proceeds.

Hey, go home and I'll stay.

I just had Chinese food.

Carmela? Dr.

Melfi, hi.

How are you? How are you is more the point.

I'm running around crazy.

My son was supposed to get coffee, or tell the maid to.

It's the one thing I have to have.

I got your note.

It was so thoughtful.

I've been calling the hospital and they say that Anthony's stabilized.

That's what they say.

If you or anyone needs anything, to talk or to run interference with the doctors, don't hesitate to call.

I appreciate that.

Thank you.

I have plenty of people around I can talk to.

Of course.

Good luck.

Morning, Gab.

Is he ready? He's eating.

We're picking up Mrs.

S.

at 10:00.

I saw her Tuesday.

How's she holding up, poor thing? Not so hotso, really.

- Coffee? - Yeah, thanks.

You hear about the thing in the old neighborhood? I'm not busy enough for all this? Couple of guys left three on the floor in some Colombian laundry.

Two guys we know, Huh? Total blood bath.

Somebody said a million plus.

What a score.

f*ckin' a.

Sil, Benny says you have to go.

Yeah, all right.

Listen, don't forget Oh, honey, your asthma kicking up? Springtime.

Pollen's out of control.

I am so proud of you.

Acting boss.

I hoped the day would never come.

You've always sold yourself short.

You know, that's not what I mean.

You know me.

All I ever wanted was to carve out a little piece, enjoy some grand kids.

But how many guys could step into Tony's shoes - And do the job you're doing? - You think? You have such strength in crisis.

Benny told me he feels honored to drive you.

You're firm about what you want without being obnoxious about it.

Sil, have you asked yourself what happens if, god forbid, Tony Soprano doesn't recover? Listen, Gab, I never talk to you about my work.

And? I'm gonna tell you something I never told anybody.

Back when Jackie was at the end, he floated the idea of me stepping up to the big seat.

Not Tony, me.

Really? Yeah, but I thought it's not for me.

Still, you wouldn't sneeze at it.

I never saw myself as that kind of guy.

I'm more behind the scenes advice, strategy.

But here you are, Sil.

The times make the man, honey, not the other way around.

Asians flip for horror films.

Plus, there's ancillary No change with Tony.

Carmela's in g*dd*mn pieces.

Memo get some coffee up to Carmela's house.

Sil, Bobby was making collections up in Roseville again last night.

My time is limited.

Get him over and let's resolve this.

- How's the skip doing? - Same.

You forget something, like my cut? You believe this guy? You should've lost some weight in that nose, keep it out of everybody's business.

I'm working on it.

It's these f*cking flowers right here.

Get this sh*t out of here.

That was Junior's neighborhood, so now it's mine.

Keep your voice down here.

A va'napola It was Eugene's going on three years.

And Eugene was with me.

You should have never had it to begin with, except for the beef with the Tasty Freeze route.

Junior ruled on it, and it wasn't right then.

This f*cking guy.

Easy.

- How much we talking about? - Three G's a week.

Maybe that's what that miserab' admitted to you.

I heard five.

You heard wrong.

What do we do here, Sil? Here's the thing.

What, skip? For the time being, it's Bobby's.

But he's still gonna kick up to you 20%.

- How long's for the time being? - Yeah, Sil.

What, do you speak Norwegian? For now.

We'll see how much is there.

Hi, everyone.

My God, you poor thing.

Hey, we just need some Irish Spring.

Good morning.

Another one? - Know what I Found out yesterday? - What's that? I was diagnosed actually with Alzheimer's.

Man, I'm sorry to hear that.

My uncle has memory loss.

Maybe it's hereditary.

Someone's probably studying that.

Is it possible that I am Kevin Finnerty? All right, I'll stop.

Sil.

What? You heard about this Oran Street takedown? The Colombians? That you? My guy had the tip.

Should be a nice chunk for everybody.

Everybody? Carmela, she gets T's cut under the circumstances, correct? It's your call.

I know it's my f*cking call.

Yes, that is the correct thing.

Oh, ladies' room's next door.

I can reach it from here.

Grim f*cking scene, that I.

C.

U.

She's one brave lady.

I was just saying, I'm gonna get T's piece of my half to Sil for her.

Of the thing.

Back up there, Bruto.

Your half? I did all the heavy lifting.

You would never have heard about it without my information.

Big help.

It was f*cking mayhem.

You said the place was empty.

Doc says I need an ultrasound on my groin and balls.

Sil, you wanna weigh in here? It breaks half and half.

You both kick Tony's to me to deal with.

I'll have it for you Sil, the whole 80k.

Ho, ho, ho, 80k? How's that 20% of a million? Have a cookie, you're delirious.

It was 750, tops.

f*ck it all, Paulie.

Tommy cased that sh*thole.

What's with the f*cking accounting out there? That's a 100 grand apiece.

You got it? We're looking after Carmela.

- No question.

- Of course.

Sooner than later, Paulie.

I gotta piss first.

You want half of that, too? In a prior incarnation, I would get my load on, blow 20 residuals at the track.

As writers, we are all hung up.

But we are also hung up on our own hang-up.

We mythologize our inner narrative.

Take for example, "Beowulf.

" Who is Grendel, but the habit, the disease.

Ah, fresh casualties in the battle of the blank page.

Welcome to the writer's guild.

Have a seat.

Take me My past as an addict.

Get the f*ck up! Come on! Give me that f*cking fisheye.

I'm offering you a way to wipe your f*cking obligation.

Wasn't me who told you to start gambling again.

I can't write a feature now.

I just landed a staff job.

People are seeing huge profits with these digital horror movies.

Douchebags who never made a film before.

That "Saw" thing, 400 grand to make, took in 100 mil worldwide.

I'm 100% well.

I deliver this script, I owe you nothing? You hear this dude? 100% well.

He's a bad boy, huh, with that lingo? Real f*cking dark character.

My idea is "Saw" meets "Godfather 2.

" Proven track record both genres.

Young wiseguy, assassin, gets betrayed by his people.

They whack him.

Leave his body parts in dumpsters all around the city.

Long story short, he is put back together by science, or maybe it's supernatural.

And he gets f*cking payback on everyone who f*cked him over, including the c**t he was engaged to.

She was getting porked by his boss the night the hero was k*lled.

We'll have a meeting tomorrow.

We hear what you've fleshed out before we go to script.

Bing, 2:30.

Don't make me come look for you.

An entire room full of writers, and you did nothing! Sir, it's family only in the unit.

I'll be out of your hair in a minute, sister.

I keep telling you people, I'm gonna have to call the hospital administrator.

I wanted to let you know there's a major package coming your way From Paulie and Vito, very significant.

You all have done so much already.

We just found out insurance won't pay for physical therapy.

Bastards.

So thank you.

You wanna come in, say hello? Uh, sure.

Hello, father.

Silvio.

I have napoleons, but I also got fruit for a certain party.

Either's good.

The program says sugar after meals, tells the body you're full.

When you married my cousin, everybody used to say you looked like John Travolta.

He's almost back to his white suit.

The bacala question.

Bobby don't have any claim.

I don't know why Sil ruled so half-assed on you.

It's not my style.

He's worried more about taking care of Carmela than the actual f*cking earners.

Please.

With Johnny awaiting trial and the feds freezing his assets, Who do you think's keeping Ginny in butter brickle? Lucky for me, those last years I was in the can, my kid brother Billy took care of Patty and the grandkids.

Only to have that m*therf*cking animal Blundetto Don't do it to yourself, Philly.

It's hard to forget.

I don't forget.

I forget what we were talking about.

Me too.

What the f*ck was it? Carmela.

The thing is You want coffee, coz? If you're already making it.

Hot water and lemon, hon.

Honestly How can I short Carmela? Maybe I'm not following you.

I'm as supportive as the next guy, but there's a point.

And what if Tony takes a turn for the worse? I'm gonna hand her $100,000, and he dies the next day? Be money down the drain.

It's tempting, but you can't think that way.

You all set now? Yeah, I'm living it up here.

You still stewing about that money? Spend some, you'll get over it.

I'll never get over it.

Certain people let me tell you.

Oh, come on, not Sil again.

Carmela.

He's a f*cking vegetable.

But I still gotta pay tribute to the princess of Little Italy.

The boss' wife.

What are you gonna do? f*ck her.

I'm on my way in now.

Yeah, good, and you might want to take care of that thing we talked about.

Which thing? That big piece of pie you were bringing to the hospital.

She's expecting you, so make it happen.

What are you worried about? I think I know who I'm f*cking dealing with here.

I resent that.

You have a problem taking orders from me? Keep your shirt on.

It's done.

Don't get in bed with him again.

You dislodged his drains.

That was my daughter.

And I can't help but think that physical affection means something.

They refrigerate this place, huh? There you go.

What are you still doing out there? I got involved in a lawsuit.

A lawsuit? Could create problems later.

What kind of lawsuit? Also What? I had an accident.

I fell down some stairs.

Oh my God! The doctor said What'd he say? "Mild concussion," he said.

Told me I'd be okay.

That's it.

I'm coming out there.

My mother's over here anyway.

She can stay with the kids.

No, don't do that.

Are you telling me everything? J.

T.

, I want to introduce you to Carmine Lupertazzi my co-executive producer on the project.

Nice to finally meet.

I heard tidbits of what Chris has got in mind the genre and so forth.

But, J.

T.

, I gotta warn you, I'm very hands-on.

I learned that the hard way.

I wanna welcome all of you to the first meeting of possible investors on this project.

Some of you know I've had nine pictures under my subspecies, Four in the "South Beach Strumpet" series alone, each with 30,000-plus DVDs in print.

That being said, I usually find it helpful at this stage to include my prospective partners and get your inputs or notes as we call them.

J.

T.

, you're on.

We've been working on a new kind of slasher film.

It takes place in the world of You know Um, the mafia.

It's about a wiseguy with a big mouth and bigger dreams.

Anyway, they call him "the butcher.

" - No, they don't.

- Why the f*ck not? Need I remind you of a certain butcher out of A.

C.

? Right.

Not "butcher.

" go on, J.

T.

So, right.

He's kind of outshining his boss.

So the guy has him clipped, but he's still alive when they cut him up.

He's gonna feel that the next day.

Right.

So at the dump, his body reassembles itself, all except for a hand that got crushed.

So he ties a cleaver onto the stump and he goes out to get revenge on everyone, especially the boss, which is a pretty solid role.

Right now it's called "Pork Store k*ller.

" But I'm thinking Just "Cleaver.

" I'm confused.

You said he's dead.

How's he evening up with anybody? He's a ghost? As I understood, a zombie of sorts.

Great title, by the way.

But if they jointed him, He's not gonna end up all in the same dump.

- And how's that a slasher film? - What are you talking about? A slasher.

A couple of kids naked in a lake.

Certified maniac on the loose, not a ghost.

Actually, the maniac is almost always a supernatural force.

Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers from "Halloween.

" Get the f*ck out.

Easy, Sil, easy.

He's making a point.

Michael Myers is an escaped mental patient.

Jason and Freddy, different kind of movie.

Well, that's the kind we're doing here.

"Saw," "The Ring" they made millions.

And that's not even including "The Godfather" Angle, which we got here.

What if They disposed him at stops that happened to be along the same route? Then he would all end up in the same dump.

But he's a ghost? I don't know.

"Ghostbusters" another f*cking money machine.

Cavalry's here.

I brought some Cannelloni.

Again.

It's got bechamel on it, so five, six hours out of the fridge, tops.

Look at her.

That word "plucky," is that what it means? Only, when do I get to spend some face time with the skip? Hospital gets ticked off.

We'll try to sneak you.

in this mob family domestic sh**ting, which some observers note carries the echoes of the death of soul great Marvin Gaye.

As 20-year-old Anthony Soprano Jr.

himself told our Amy Kean, "growing up Soprano, it's just plain weird.

" Carmela? - I swear to God, I'm gonna f*cking k*ll you! - What the f*ck? You made a fool of yourself and our family on national f*cking television? I didn't even say that sh*t.

They totally misquoted me.

- Holy sh*t.

Well, of course they did.

That's what they do.

Which is why I and everybody else told you, "don't talk to the press!" You're the one who looked like a total assh*le.

Dragging me around like I was five years old.

You are a cross to bear.

That's all you are.

To your father, to me, to everybody.

f*ck this.

f*ck it all! Jesus, Mel, the hell's wrong with you? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Mom.

It had to happen.

She's fried.

You have any extra compensation for what you've been going through? Nah, part of the job.

Like they say, with great power comes great responsibility.

You know, Vito called me "Skip" the other day.

Really? Slip of the tongue no doubt, But I noticed he didn't correct himself.

See? If it did become permanent, your compensation might be don't go there.

Hi, gab.

I need Sil for a second.

Can you keep it short? He's pretty b*at.

This better be Important, Bobby.

Got a new baby and two kids in private school.

This arrangement with Vito is k*lling me.

It's 9:30 at night.

Bobby, I don't remember what the f*ck it was.

Roseville, this temporary sh*t.

I need an answer already.

I'm going out of my f*cking mind here.

I'm liable to do something drastic.

Calm the f*ck down.

Let me think.

Mornings are better.

I'll come up with a solution.

I don't want you to worry about it.

I must have sounded odd at the supermarket the other day.

See, you're Tony's therapist.

Whether it's appropriate How can I help you? It's about my son.

Both kids, really.

The situation with the sh**ting.

I'm very worried about them.

Sure.

It's a very serious problem, you know, g*ns in the home.

It's a societal concern.

Obviously, we learned our lesson too late.

I immediately removed all the firearms from the house after the goings-on at Tony's uncle's.

Anyway, last night, I was shrieking at my son, and I said something very cruel.

And especially since he's been trying so hard How are you doing? You know, I'm frazzled certainly, But I am more worried about them.

They're not kids anymore.

When they were young, there were certain things we could tell them about Tony's life.

You know, lies.

We'll just call Them what they were.

- But now - So the issue isn't just g*ns in the home.

Honestly, I think about my son in front of those cameras, having to vouch for all this.

My daughter and her friends.

They have to face all these years of facading.

They do or you do? The minute I met Tony, I knew who that guy was.

On my second date, he brought me and my mother each a dozen roses and my father a $200 power drill.

Not the typical story of young love.

And I don't know if I loved him in spite of it Or because of it.

Parents weren't like that.

And I knew, whether consciously or not, I knew that behind that power drill, there was probably some guy with a broken arm, you know, or worse.

And you coped with that, how? I'd go to my priest, and I would cry, and say how bad I felt about how my husband made his money, but that was bullshit.

Because there are far bigger crooks than my husband.

But the kids they don't decide who they're born to.

So now what? Yeah, that's just it.

Now what? It's all out in the open now, the whole thing.

And them, they're not in grade school anymore.

They become the longer they stay with us Complicit.

Oh, God.

Putting aside the moral and legal issues, clarity can't be a bad thing.

Tony's second night in the coma, I told him I loved him.

When was the last time I said that? Are you afraid you aren't going to feel that way when he wakes up? Anthony tells me things are better between you.

I can't breathe.

- It's all right.

- Come here, honey.

Can't breathe.

It's all right.

Can't breathe.

It's okay, honey.

You're gonna be okay.

- What's going on? - Would you move your car, please, sir? Sil, I didn't hear from you.

Sil's on the canvas now.

f*cking 100% disaster.

Point is, Tony goes, let's face it, Somebody's gonna have to step into the breach.

I'm a young man.

Now without the weight, I'm a healthy man with longevity.

I hear Sil is at St.

Barnabas.

My god, what is happening to us around here? Sil's gonna be fine.

You have enough worries.

Listen, sweetheart, You're expecting something, and I can't get into specifics, And Tony wouldn't want me to, but there are certain people looking over our shoulders right now.

'S okay, Vito.

I'm not expecting anything.

Money's not an issue.

Like you said, I got bigger worries, like this son of mine.

You gotta trust me on this, hon.

Suspicions get raised if we were to move it to you at this moment.

I got this.

Your ma says now's our moment.

The main thing, when people come to sit with dad, The doctors want positive talk.

- It helps in his recovery.

Got it.

Oof, madonn'.

He looks terrible.

Uncle Paulie, you can't say stuff like that.

You have to stay positive.

Yeah, it's just nothing prepares you for that.

Uncle Paulie! Only one person at a time, please.

She's a ballbuster.

Finn's on his way up.

I'll be back in a few minutes, okay? Remember, stay positive.

I gotta wear a jock, the doc says.

Keep the testes elevated.

Of course, it could be a lot worse, right? They gave me an ultrasound, no rupture.

I mean, the good thing is I hurt it doing a major piece of business.

I saw a little action, and the next thing, I was at the urologist.

f*cking guy tells me I can't expect the same things from my body no more.

I tell you, T, first the eyes, then the teeth.

Next you find out you can't take pissing for granted.

Some joke, huh? When I was in the service, I won the chin-ups cup Three weeks in a row.

f*cking beautiful definition, too.

Guy asked me to model for the boxing poster.

He was half a f*g, but I was flattered, just the same.

Now look at this.

f*cking wrinkles like an old lady's c**t.

You don't think it's gonna happen to you, But I'm feeling it, Tony.

Phineas Fogg back in town.

He forgets all the little people.

Hey, Vito, How's Mr.

Soprano doing? Let's hope he pulls through, huh? Hi.

So glad you're here.

I'm gonna let you two lovebirds be.

That don't worry about him.

He's harmless.

That f*cking agita, T.

I mean, do I blame myself for this life? The sh*t that happens, Like with puss.

Standup one day, F.

B.

I.

Rat f*ck the next.

I felt it here, T.

- I felt it right here.

Will you please shut up in there? I'm sorry.

Yes, the Inn at the Oaks.

Left on Jamboree Boulevard? Out towards the Beacon.

What is that Beacon anyway? God damn it! Shut up! Shut up in there! So I said to ma Dr.

Budraja, stat to room 3.

Nurse, don't leave! Help! Out of the way, sir.

What's happening? Soprano, v-tach on the monitor.

- Thready pulse.

- Take his pressure.

Get a board ready.

- 80 palp.

- All right, let's bag him.

Oh my God, is he dying? Where's my mom? I don't know what's happening.

One, two, three.

Still v-tach at 210.

Grab the paddles.

Clear the room.

Cardiovert at 100.

- Dad! - Stand back.

- All clear.

- Clear.

Stand back.

- All clear.

- Clear.

Excuse me.

Is this the Finnerty reunion? Hello there.

They're waiting for you.

- Me? - Of course.

- Has Kevin Finnerty arrived? - We don't talk like that here.

What do you mean? Your family's inside.

- What family? - They're here to welcome you.

I don't understand.

- You're going home.

- I am? Everyone's in there.

- You can't bring business in there.

- Daddy.

I lost my real briefcase.

My whole life was in it.

Don't go, daddy.

What is that? Briefcases aren't allowed.

No, the voice.

Please, let me take that from you.

Looks like it weighs a ton.

I don't want to.

Well, you need to.

You need to let go.

We love you, daddy.

Don't leave us.

For some reason I'm scared.

Well, there's nothing to be scared of.

You can let it go.

Just come say hello.

All right.

Daddy! Please don't leave us, Daddy.

We love you.

Dad? His eyes are open.

Daddy, look at me right here.

all right, normal sinus rhythm.

- Pulse and pressure? Good.

Oh my God! Thank God.

Thank God.

Hang an amiodaraone drip and send off a set of electrolytes now.

Dad, look, here you are.

So I'm holding his hand, and all of a sudden the machines go bullshit.

You told us, for Christ's sake.

Those f*cking doctors, it's their fault.

Skip's gonna make it.

He's conscious.

Oh, thank God! I got it, honey.

- f*ck took you so long? - I had to get it together, didn't I? We gotta get that cut to her now.

Easy, that's a f*cking guilty move.

Tony's conscious.

You capisce? Everybody and his mother was in there talking to him when he was in that coma.

Carmela.

Who knows what the f*ck they said? Maybe he's expecting that money.

He can't talk yet because of the tube that was in his throat.

Maybe we should consider ourselves lucky there.

But we are very happy, aren't we? Anthony, you had us so worried.

I haven't been to church that much since I quit playing bingo.

What, honey? I'm dead, right? No no, you're in the hospital with all of us.

In Newark.

Mr.

Soprano, how are you today? I'm Dr.

Vahapsideh.

I'm a neurologist.

How's he doing, sweetheart? I don't know if we're out of the woods yet, but he's hanging in.

He just passed his first simple mental acuity test, so Your strength, that was the difference.

Oh, a little something from us.

Help defray medical costs, rehabilitation.

Jesus, I don't know what to say.

- This is what we do, honey.

- I'd want the same for my Marie.

Or my ma.

We're here if you need anything.

Great f*cking news, T.

See you're up and around.

Best.

"Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while, a great wind carries me across the sky.

Ojibwe saying.

" Indians, right? Who put this up? Listen, T, something I wanted to talk to you about.

I'm gonna take another run at the movie business.

I know you haven't liked that in the past, But I'm going about it in a whole different way.

In fact, I'm hoping you'll become an investor when you feel a little better, And I can explain what we're doing.

It's pretty exciting.

We'll own the neg.

That's what they call it.

It means negative.

I'm holding a large ownership position open for you.

I hope you approve.

Actually, frankly all due respect, I think you owe me this, as I came to you about Adriana.

You've got him up? I know how it looks, but he should be upright as much as possible.

I'm gonna leave you two alone.

Thanks for everything.

I don't know how you do it.

That's gotta feel good, huh? The simple things.