04x08 - Adam's Not Sorry

[bunniefuu]

Okay, Lowell, since this isyour first foreclosure auction, I need to go over a few rules.

The most important thing to remember here is: don't raise your hands, or they'll think you're bidding.

Keep them at your side the whole time.

Got it, hands at my side.

Just like sex.

Okay, bad news.

They're out of breakfast tacos.

I saw you wolf down three by the trash can.

That's why they ran out.

So, this next house looks perfect for us to flip.

It has a great yard and a bay window.

What?

No, Don, I picked the house we're bidding on a week ago.

But I want this house.

Well, I want a taco.

Life's full of disappointments.

Okay, guys.

We're back.

Next up, lot 48.

- This is the one.

- No, it's not.

We'll start the bidding off at 35.

How about $35,000 right here?

Hit me.

35 to the tall guy in the back of the room...

What are you doing?

I'm buying a house.

The lady here's our next top bidder at 36!

Hit me.

37 to the tall guy!

How about 38?

You say that again, and I will...

I will hit you.

This is not the house we're buying, Don.

38 to the lady.

How about 39?

Okay, good, she outbid you.

Now give me the paddle.

Give it to me right now.

Fine.

Thank you.

Hit me.

Ma'am?

Sold to the tall guy and his little buddy!

Bev, this is fun!

I never get one-on-one time with my mother-in-law.

Well, I just wanted to let you know that...

I know.

Ah, you're gonna have to be more specific.

I have a lot of secrets.

About my birthday.

I mean, I haven't heard about any plans, so it's obviously a surprise party.

Well, yeah, obviously.

And the only one thoughtful enough to plan that for me is my favorite person.

You.

I'm...

your favorite person?

You know we have a special bond.

I've always felt it.

I just, I wasn't sure you did.

I definitely do.

- I always have time for you.

- Aw.

I got to run.

But thank you, and I know you'll do great.

Oh, I am gonna throw the best party ever for the lady who likes me the best.

Hey, Bev?

How old are you gonna be?

That's not the way to start.

I know you guys are in the middle of a fight, but thanks for stopping at the mini-mart.

They don't let you add MountainDew at the one by my house.

What were you thinking?

I should have a say in which house we pick.

Last week when I showed you the house I wanted, you didn't have any thoughts.

I didn't have any thoughts then.

I can't control when thoughts happen.

Only Jesus can do that.

You know what would cheer you up?

A little slushy.

I get a vote.

I'm a partner.

Okay, you're right.

That's fair.

Oh!

Oh, no.

Don, here's a napkin.

No, don't help him, Lowell.

Let it be cold.

Hey, I'm throwing your mom a birthday party.

Why?

Because she told me to.

But...

I just need something to push it over the top.

So, do you have any interest in being part of a barbershop quartet with me?

I've had a rough morning, Andi.

I can't even pretend to think that's a good idea.

What happened at that auction?

Did you get a lap dance from a Smurf?

Don bought a house we didn't agree on, so he got a slushy in his lap.

That's right, I cold-crotched him.

Don's house doesn't look bad.

It's got a cute bay window.

Thank you, Andi.

He wouldn't evenconsider it.

He thinks he gets o pick all the houses.

We've been doing it like that ever since we started flipping houses.

We have a system.

Well, I think your system stinks.

Since when?

Since I've been going to therapy.

Dr.

Felicia thinks I should be more assertive.

And if you don't like that, then I'd be happy to assert my foot into your butt.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I'd fight you right now, but I don't want to get that blue stuff on my nice auction shirt.

Come on, you don't get it, man.

I'm trying to work on myself.

If you want to work on yourself, do it in the bathroom when your wife's not home like the rest of us!

- Hey, Joe.

- Hey.

Do you mind if I, uh, if I look at your wedding album?

I want to recreate the cake or Bev's birthday party.

Oh, and I'm throwing it because I'm her favorite person in the world.

Sorry you had to hear that from me.

So you're really trying to impress her, huh?

Oh, I am gonna knock her socks off.

Yeah.

She doesn't get impressed.

Sorry you had to hear that from me.

Look, I know that she has high standards, but I bet with your help I could nail it.

Not interested.

But the party needs to be perfect or she'll be disappointed.

Yeah, in you.

If I try to help, she'll be disappointed in both of us.

You're in the shark's mouth.

I'm still swimming.

Hey.

Hey, honey.

I just spent the last two hours at the party store picking the perfect color scheme for your mom's birthday.

Well, anything but red, and she'll be fine.

Ah, it'll be okay.

We'll just get her drunk.

Have you talked to Don yet?

Nope.

And I don't plan on it.

He didn't respect the system.

What system?

It's two guys in a truck throwing slushies at each other.

Look, honey, this company is my responsibility.

It supports our family, Don's family, Lowell's ex-wife and her new family.

It's a lot of pressure.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown, Andi.

Look, I-I agree with you, okay?

He was way out of line to buy that house.

Thank you.

But you have to work together.

So, be the mature one and just apologize for not listening to his idea.

Apologize?

He owes mean apology.

And I am not letting this go until I get one.

- Adam...

- What, no, you know, everyone feels sorry for him because he has those big, sad eyes.

Well, my eyes may be small and beady, but there is love behind them!

So, how do you plan on resolving things with Adam?

It's simple...

he's gonna apologize.

Wow.

That's right, baby.

It's the new me.

Same great body, new great attitude.

Look at him go.

Is this a fold-out couch?

If so, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the room for ten minutes, Doctor.

Make it five.

Hi, Teddy...

oh, no.

You got to start calling me before parties.

Look, I know you're mad, but you did invite Don to the party, right?

I invited Marcy.

If she wantst o bring her pet Sasquatch, that's up to her.

Okay, that's the last one.

- It was a really good one...

- Yeah.

- It's good, right?

- But it's the last one!

I think you look good.

I'm surprised Baby Gap had your size.

Shows what you know.

I got this at grown-up Gap.

So, did you talk to Don yet?

I'm not talking to him until he apologizes.

Don't make me choose sides.

I pick you.

Good.

Hello, Don.

Hello, Adam.

You have something to say to me?

You have something to say to me?

Yes.

But my thing is "I accept your apology." And I can't say it until you say your thing.

Okay, hey!

Hey, you two need to get it together.

Okay, this is your mother's birthday.

It is not about you.

It's about me.

Look alive, everyone, she's inbound!

Why is Teddy dressed like Lowell's ventriloquist dummy?

Surprise!

Oh, my lands.

A surprise party just for me?

I did not expect this.

Joe, do you see her socks?

I don't.

I think they may have been knocked off.

Andi, everything looks beautiful.

Aw, thank you, Bev.

And it was so smart of you to save money by not buying flowers.

And away we go.

Looks like she hada second pair of socks on.

Here you go, Marcy, have a shrimp.

Thank you.

All right, here'sone for you, too.

Okay, everyone, you'll want to gather round.

This is gonna bepretty magical.

Bev?

I had Sweet Treats bakery recreate the cakefrom your wedding.

Thank you.

I've never tried Sweet Treats.

I've always just gone to my favorite bakery.

Sorry, honey, looks like youbrought a cake to a gunfight.

86 the cake, kids.

86, go, go, go.

This is exciting.

What next, Andi?

Okay.

I am dying here.

Y-You got to give a toast.

I'm not in the mood.

Everyone, Adam would liketo say a few words.

Go, go, go.

All right.

All right!

All right.

I would like to talk about the reason we're all here.

Bev Burns is a wonderful woman.

She is dependable, trustworthy, loyal.

I guess you could say she is the opposite of Don.

I'd also like to make a toast.

To Beverly Burns, a woman so perfect, her onlymistake was having a second son.

Objection.

I would like to make a rebuttal toast.

Okay.

No more toasts.

It's okay, Andi.

I-I think they're just upset because of all the red plates.

It's an angry color.

You know what?

Burns Brothers Construction will not be flipping that house.

We will sell it at a loss and move on.

I'll do it on my own, then.

Ha!

I don't know how you're gonna do it without me, since I hire all the subs and do the budgets.

Oh.

Actually, I do the budget.

Not now, Tall Teddy!

You owe me an apology.

You want an apology?

- Mm-hmm.

Oh, here he goes.

Bring the thunder, baby.

Okay, here's your apology.

I'm sorry I ever worked with you.

I quit.

You're quitting?

The family business we started 20 years ago.

You're gonna quit that?

Yeah, what's the matter?

You didn't hear me over the thunder?

♪ Happy birthday...

It's over, honey.

Y-You have to do something.

You can't just let him quit.

It's not a problem.

No.

I'll just hire someone else to eat all the tacos.

Why did you quit?

You told me to bringthe thunder.

I just meant talk louder, like-like thunder.

Don, you can't quit.

Lowell, don't talk to him.

Come over here.

Don't go to him, come to me.

I have candy.

What kind?

No.

I feel like a kid stuck in the middle, and it's worse because I'm dressed like one.

All right, that's it.

I was trying to hold my tongue about this party.

You were?

But now my birthday will always be the day my boys' relationship ended.

I guess that's what I got instead of flowers.

Okay.

I-I used the flower budget to recreate a wedding cake from the '60s.

Does no one see that?

Come on, Joe.

Oh, goodie.

Look who gets to drive her home.

What are you doing out here?

Can't sleep 'cause you're upset about Don?

What...

I'm not, I'm not upset.

I'm working on the lawn mower.

Needed a rebuild.

At 3:00 in the morning?

I like to do it when the grass is sleeping.

Honey, look, it's okayto be emotional.

Okay?

I mean, you didn't just lose your business partner, you lost your best friend.

Okay, he can't be my best friend because a best friend wouldn't quit on me.

Honey, h-here's the thing.

Okay?

He doesn't like the way things have been, so you have a choice.

Would you rather be alone and make all the decisions, or have your brother back?

Well, it's not like I like making all the decisions.

If this business goes belly-up, it's on me.

I make all the decisions because I have all the pressure.

I know he's the older brother, but I've always been the one who took care of everything.

I just think maybe you should try and see it from Don's point of view.

Okay.

I'm gonna need a ladder and a lobotomy.

Look, Don and I don't talk about that kind of stuff.

Well, I think you're gonna have to try.

What?

I wouldn't even know how.

Well, luckily, we have Dr.

Felicia.

That's right.

You and Don are going to couples therapy.

No...

Okay, boys.

I booked Dr.

Felicia's whole afternoon.

You are not coming out until this is solved.

I'm not doing therapy with him.

I don't do what anybody says.

It's the new me.

Well, I'm still the old me, and you're staying.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I'll tell you what, Marcy.

I'll stay.

What are you doing?

That's the "before" picture.

And I will get my "after." Sounds like we have a lot to talk about today.

How is this supposed to work?

You're a marriage counselor, and we're brothers.

A sibling relationship has a lot in common with a spousal relationship, so I'm gonna treat you like a married couple.

- He's the wife.

- He's the wife.

You know, none of this would've happened if you hadn't gotten in his head.

Or none of this would have happened if you were able to communicate with your brother.

If we're keeping score, that's one for me.

How many times have I told you that we don't keep score in here?

Okay, that's one for Felicia.

Why is it so hard for you two to talk about your feelings?

That's not how we were raised.

Our dad always told us to rub some dirt on it and walk it off.

Your dad taught you to rub dirt on your feelings?

Interesting.

What am I doing here?

I was home watching golf.

Joe, we want to learn what was missing from their upbringing that makes it so difficult for them to have a real conversation.

Oh...

so it's a hit job, huh?

Well, I didn't raise them alone, you know.

So it's "blame the mother" time.

Let me tell you something, "Dr." Felicia...

I'm a real doctor, so no need for the quotes.

My husband and I taught the boys wonderful communication.

We never had a problem with that.

We have a system.

Wha...

You guys have a system, too?

Yeah, I make all the decisions, and if she disagrees, she throws a pork chop at my head.

A-And you're okay with that?

Yes.

That's our system.

It's my job to look out for her.

If this family ends up living under a bridge, it's all on me.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

Adam, it sounds like some of this is resonating for you.

Yeah.

I-It makes sense.

At the auction, I made all the decisions, a-and, Don, the house you bought was the pork chop you threw at my head.

So I am the wife.

Bev, do you think your system was healthy for your boys or your relationship?

Married 53 years.

I'm guessing you're a single gal, "Doctor." We're not keeping score, but that's one for my mom.

I don't want to fight anymore, so we need to have a real conversation.

With feelings and everything.

Maybe you're the wife.

I-I don't care.

I don't see another way.

Look...

if you want to make more decisions at work, I'm good with that.

Really?

That means a lot.

Yeah, I mean, I got so bent out of shape about you and that house because I feel so much pressure about the business.

But I'd be willing to share that with you.

The pressure?

Yeah.

And the decisions.

But to get the decisions, I also have to have the pressure?

Yeah.

That's the way it works.

So that's what you've been dealing with all these years?

Pretty much.

Well, listen, now that I understand it, I really appreciate what you do.

Oh...

And I think you should keep doing it.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah, the new Don didn't think this through.

So we're good?

We're good.

Let's hug it out.

Really?

Here?

You...

You don't want to do that in the garage?

I'm not afraid.

I'll do it right here, right now.

Come on.

Hug your husband.

Andi.

I got my "after." Okay, so, uh, we'll start work on the new house tomorrow.

I mean, if you're coming back to work.

I'll be there.

See you at 11:00.

We start at 8:00.

10:00 it is.

Where is she?

I see that look in your eye.

Don't do this.

I nailed that party, and I wantBev to acknowledge it.

It's not a good time.

Look, Joe, I am not scared.

Okay?

People can grow.

I saw it in my own house, and I think Bev can, too.

Oh, here she is.

Bev, I want to talk to you.

About the party.

Oh, you here to blame me for something, too?

If you come at me, you better come strong.

You only married into this family.

Oh.

Well, I...

I-I just came to apologize.

For Joe.

What?

That's me.

Yeah, he wouldn't help me.

H-He said planning a party for you was like beingin a shark's mouth.

Joe, I can't believe you said that.

Nice move, honey.

You better go.

It's pork chop o'clock.