02x06 - Obsession

[bunniefuu]

[ Dog barking distantly ]

[ Exhales ]

[ Dog barks ]

Deb: Coming! Hello!

Hi. Deb.

My name is Joy Hartman.

I'm a detective with the NYPD.

Oh.

I wanted to speak with you about your ex-husband, Keith Powell.

He's not dead, is he?

I'm so sorry.

Oh, my God.

So, what was your relationship with him like?

Sometimes good, sometimes not good.

It was a relationship.

Right.

And, um, have you been to Montreal in the past couple of weeks?

All right, you know what?

I'm not one of these ladies with wet hair who kills the father of her child, all right?

So you can just put that sh*t to rest.

If you're looking for a bad guy, why don't you look into who Fat Franky is.

Hey, Crystal. Did you ever ask your family about Fat Franky?

Family?

Yeah.

What about my family?

Did you ever ask them about Fat Franky?

My family would have to be in the mob to know about a guy named Fat Franky.

My family's not in the mob.

My father has a very reputable construction company.

All right, look.

His girlfriend told us there's this guy named Fat Franky who's been causing trouble.

So he had a girlfriend?

Check with her.

♪ Obedear, the sky is low ♪

♪ Watch fluent seamen rig their rudders ♪ El? I have to leave now, I have my rehearsal!

Sweetheart?

Is everything okay?

Can I go in, you think?

He's okay.

Uh, I do think you should keep your energy, you know, like, light and airy.

Yes. Yeah.

[ Knocking on door ]

Come in!

Hey, Baba ganoush!

Hey, Pita Bread!

Okay, it's insane that you're here.

I'm literally writing about you right now.

All good things, I hope.

I actually just finished an entire sentence about how you and I can sit in silence together and envision what the other person's thinking.

Like, let's do it.

Let's sit in silence.

Track lighting.

Yeah.

Ahh!

[ Giggles ]

So, El, I was, um, thinking maybe you should just see a...doctor for the rash.

Oh, no. As long as I'm not exposed to the sun ever again, I'll be totally fine.

[ Whimpers ]

El, you're scaring me.

I got you, girl!

[ Laughs ]

Hey.

Dory.

What are you doing here?

I just came to bring him these.

It's really not a good time right now.

He's losing it, and I'm late for my first rehearsal.

Right, yeah, I mean, I'll just drop them off with --

No!

I don't want him getting crazier.

Right. [ Chuckles ] I mean, I seriously can't just --

Dory.

I told you it's not a good time, please don't throw a fit about it, okay?

Portia.

[ Floor boards creak ]

[ Intro to "They Always Fly Away" by Blouse plays ]

♪ Do you want to follow me indoors? ♪

♪ Get the elevator to my floor ♪

♪ There's a lonely blackbird... ♪ Ugh!

Oh, my God. Are you okay, ma'am?

I'm so sorry.

Oh, my God, I feel so bad.

Oh, my God, Molly?

Oh no, I'm so sorry!

This makes it so much worse.

I'm sorry, I was late to work, and I knocked you down.

It's fine, don't worry.

Are you sure you're all right?

Yeah. Drew, right?

Yeah. Yeah, Drew.

Yes.

We met at the drink thing.

Oh, that was so fun.

Yes. Yes, um.

Well, it was nice to see you.

Yeah, it was so good to see you.

I feel so stupid --

No. No!

I -- I got to run. Bye!

Sorry!

No -- no problem!

So, we actually do taco Wednesdays, which is kind of fun.

That's Tim, our accountant.

He's kick-ass at bowling!

So, this is it.

This is headquarters, AKA your new home!

Take it in.

That's Clayton, the Communications Director.

You won't be working with him, but that's okay because he's a meanie.

[ Phone ringing ]

I said, he's a meanie!

[ Laughs ]

Now let me show you to Mary's office, she wants to greet you, but usually, like, don't knock on her door or anything, 'cause she's, like, really, really busy, and she does not have time for you.

Uh, Mary! Dory Seif and Julian Marcus are here for you.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Ah!

Was that my fault or you fault?

I feel like that was not my fault.

What an entrance! Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm so sorry.

Well, Dory actually brought you some flowers.

Oh, no, those weren't -- um, I threw them in the trash.

You threw flowers in the trash?

How strange.

See, I think if I can just make the strips flow, then it's gonna be easy for me to see where the story problems are.

[ Insane laughter ] I got it.

Okay, babe, uh, I'm gonna tell you something, and I don't want you to freak out.

Okay.

We are officially out of aluminum foil.

But we need to cover the windows.

Trust me, I think it'll be okay if a little sunlight gets on some of these strips.

Okay. Do you see where we are right now?

We are 20, maybe

[Screaming] 30 minutes away from the sunlight hitting one of the strips!

Do you not give a sh*t?!

I do, I really do, and -- and I --

Good!

I'm trying, but I've never had to do this before!

But I want to do it right!

I want you to look back after you're better and think I did it right!

Well, you're not doing it right, and you've never done it right, and I'm sorry, but I don't ask for a lot either.

[ Scoffs ]

You ask for so much. you have expectations that literally no one can fulfill.

Well, if I have expectations that nobody can fulfill, maybe I shouldn't be with anybody, should I?

You don't mean that.

You embarrass me, Marc.

And it's sad that I feel that I deserve to be with someone who's less deep than me, who's less smart than me, and not dynamic in... the... least-ah!

I am so sick of chasing after you!

[ Shrilly ]

Ow! My balls!

You will never find someone who puts up with your sh*t!

You will die alone!

[ Groaning ]

From the world of darkness, I hereby loose demons and devils.

The power of scorpions will torment you.

Death to pigs!

Sup -- Pfah!

I'm sorry. Sorry. sh*t!

What happened?

I'm still struggling with the language, okay?

Why?

I just -- I don't identify with that kind of susceptibility, I don't know.

I mean, I can work on finding the motivation another way, I just don't -- I don't think that this is like me.

North Star.

Why are you, um, doing that?

Sorry, me?

Mm-hmm.

Am I -- Am I North Star?

Yeah.

I'm so sorry.

I don't really know you that well, and you're so talented, um...

But I just want to say, you absolutely have the susceptibility to do this, like all of us do.

I really think good, smart people have the potential to make really big mistakes.

Okay, I wouldn't call the Manson Murders a mistake.

This was full-blown carnage as a result of mental illness.

Yeah, but susceptibility isn't mental illness --

I'm sorry, what are you defending?

I'm sorry, I know everyone's arguing, but we're due for a five.

Okay.

Take five, go tinkle.

North Star.

I'm so sorry.

Do you like spaghetti?

I'm making you dinner tonight.

[ Laughs ]

[ Phone ringing ]

Alan.

Hey, buddy. What's going on?

What, are you slogging down some English breakfast?

Earl Grey, actually.

Toss a little milk in there, get down, have yourself a little party?

So, how's it going?

Good. Good. Good, good, good.

I want to tell you, I bumped into your wife at a bodega in midtown.

She's really sweet.

Yeah, she's the best.

Yeah, she is.

Yeah, she's, um, she's a really wonderful woman.

You know, I hesitate to tell you this, but when I, um, ran into her at the bodega, she seemed a little nervous.

And at first, I didn't really think anything of it, I was like, whatever.

But then I saw her cross the street and meet up with someone, and it was a man.

Oh...

Yeah, she has friends in town, so that was probably what that was. [ Chuckles ]

No, I don't think so.

I didn't have my glasses on, so maybe -- it's not for sure -- but I think, um...

I think it was Max.

What? What? That's typical!

Well, if it were true...

What should I do?

I'm a paranoid person, so I think that, um, I'd go through all her sh*t.

♪ Showcase, rotate, keep it keen, lean smile on my face ♪

♪ Tac and repel at the waist ♪

♪ And I bend the right ways when I hear me a b*at and a bass ♪

♪ Just need me a b*at and a bass ♪

[ Sighs ]

♪ Easily sweeten the taste ♪

♪ Increasin' all the symptoms... ♪ Nia: Hello?

Nia!

Yeah? Who's this?

Incredible News is here!

You're here to welcome Incredible News into your home!

[ Laughs ]

[ Gasps ] Nia!

Oh! Elliott!

Uh, you know, it's, uh, it's really not a good time.

I'm, uh, feeding the baby.

Okay, well you're gonna want to feed the baby this!

[ Laughs ]

Okay, so listen.

This is my card in case you need anything, all right?

Call me anytime.

I know how hard this is.

Thanks for coming over.

Here.

Take some hand cream.

Crystal made it.

It's Jergens and pear paste.

I call it "Baby hair."

I try to do it all natural ingredients...

Yeah.

...but sometimes I can't get them, so I just use whatever I can find.

I hear you.

You know?

Keith screwed up a lot, but he always knew how to redeem himself.

I was getting so pissed at him for not picking up Kaitlin twice in a row, but then he sends me this email just a couple of days ago saying how much he loved us.

It's like he knew it was gonna be the last email he was ever gonna send to me.

Life is crazy, right?

I'm sorry, when did he send this email?

[ Exhales ]

Guess it was Monday.

Why?

Why are you acting like that?

Could you do me a favor?

Could you forward me that email?

All right.

Thank you.

Sure.

[ Phone dialing ]

Randy: Hello?

Hi. Is this Randy?

Yeah. Who's this?

Hi, my name is Dory Seif.

I'm calling from Mary Ferguson's office.

Are you aware that there's an upcoming election?

Hey, Dory.

No, I wasn't aware.

Hey, I'm sorry to pry, but you sound a little...blue.

Is everything okay?

Oh, um, I'm fine.

Yeah. Thank you, um...

I just want you to know how excited I am to be representing this candidate for Senate.

Yeah, I'm sorry, I know it's none of my business, but I can't help but feel like your sadness is, like, palpable.

Could you tell me more about that?

Well, um...

Everyone hates me.

And they should.

[ Sighs ]

I just don't have anyone to talk to.

I'm sorry to hear that.

You can talk to me, though.

What are they upset about?

I keep messing things up.

And I don't know how to fix it.

Yeah, well, what if I let you suck my cock?

It's really big and hard.

Oh, I think you'd like it, Dor --

Ah!

Julian: Dory.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Um, I -- I actually, uh, was able to convince a voter to vote for Mary, so it's -- it's good.

[ Clears throat ]

[ Grunts ]

And then I thought, if my book is about lies, the book itself needs to be a lie!

Right?

Absolutely.

[ Groans ]

Oh, my God, I'm sorry.

The bar cart is heavier than the dog.

[ Insane laughter ]

That's insane, right?

I've thought the same thing.

I should really let guests know when they come over.

Anyway, then I started thinking -- what is our society's biggest lie?

Christ narrative.

Propaganda!

Propaganda.

So then I thought, what if my book embodies propaganda, okay?

Making the reader complicit, making them paralyzed, you know?

[ Sighs ]

So, it goes bar cart, dog, lamp, coffee table?

[ Baby gurgles ]

Can I?

Oh... Um...

I'm sorry, no.

Elliot, I think that we should just stick to weighing furniture today.

Hi. Come here.

But we have to know.

I mean, we never expected that order.

I mean, wouldn't it be so surprising if the baby weighed more than the coffee table?

I think that we can safely assume that she's lightest?

Nia, please.

Give me the baby.

I just need to go to the bathroom, so, just, um, just wait here.

Okay.

Automated voice:

Bathroom. Yushi, bathroom.

Bathroom. Yushi.

Yu-shi.

Toilet. Cesu.

[ Cellphone ringing ]

Hey, man. What's up?

Allen:

[ Whispering ] You were right.

What?

You were right.

[ Sighs ] I went through her things. She's cheating on me.

I found condoms.

Magnums.

Oh, magnums, huh?

It's bad enough that, you know, she's cheating on you, but...

Oh, why does it have to be magnums, you know?

This sucks.

I got to go.

Yeah, okay.

Feel better, all right? Let me know if you need anything.

[ Cellphone clicks ]

[ Thud ]

[ Sighs ]

♪♪

[ Laughs ]

What do you taste?

[ Laughing ] That's amazing.

You're such a good cook!

[ Inhales ]

Only two people in the world know this story I'm about to tell you.

My mother and my priest.

What is it?

[ Exhales ]

When I was in Peru, I wanted to go swimming.

Everyone said the surf was too strong.

Mm-hmm.

But I was stubborn.

And I'm so glad I went in the water that day because I was pulled under for nearly 3 minutes.

I almost d*ed and I experienced what the modern world calls God.

What was it like?

Nothing that you've ever cared about matters.

Nothing that you know is real.

[ Whispers ]

This is all an illusion.

Wow. That's so cool.

North Star.

Yeah?

Do you know why we're going to be best friends forever?

[ Laughs ]

Tell me.

Because you're dangerously beautiful.

I love beautiful women, I can't help myself.

You're also the smartest person I've ever met in my life.

[ Voice breaking ]

You don't know me that well.

Is it hard for you to accept that?

Yeah. Yeah.

Am I right to assume that you let other people take advantage of you in the past?

Yeah.

I'm not gonna let that happen anymore, okay?

Okay.

Mary is phenomenal, you're gonna love her.

Thank you, thank you.

Okay. All right, talk to you soon. Bye.

Dory! Dory!

Do you plan on making any calls today?

Yeah, I just did like three in a row, so...

Wow. Yeah, that's not that many.

Is everything okay?

Yeah. It's great.

Okay, guys, this is me asking you nicely to please keep it down.

Okay, do you expect us to be completely silent?

We're all literally talking on the phone.

Aren't you a writer for New York Mag?

What was wrong with that job?

I freelance, it doesn't take up all my time.

That must be code for they fired you.

I actually have an article coming out tomorrow.

Hmm.

Oh. Uh, is that the Chantal one?

Yeah.

How'd that turn out?

I don't think you're going to like it.

Well, can I read it?

That's not how it works.

Seriously, Julian?

You don't trust me to read it?

I mean, you're not in the f*cking CIA.

Yo, chill.

Why don't you think I'm gonna like it?

Is it gonna, like, ruin my life or something?

You need to take a breather.

[ Heartbeat ]

Yeah. Maybe I do.

[ Heartbeat continues ]

♪♪

[ Panting ]

♪♪

[ Breathing heavily ]

Hello?

Hi, Dory.

This is Nia Carpourtalas.

I work with your friend Elliot Goss.

Oh. Hi.

Hi. Um, Elliott's fine, everything's fine, but he is headed to a treatment center called Hallways that we've provided at our expense, and we just thought we should let you know that we're making sure he gets the help he needs.

Okay.

And he does have a message that I am reluctant to relay.

But he wanted me to let you now that it's all your fault.

[ Breathes rapidly ]

[ Cellphone clicks ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Panicked breathing ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

Hello?

Hello?!

Who's there?!

Oh, God.

[ Quietly ]

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay. Okay.

[ Inhales sharply ]

Okay. Okay.

Come on, come on, come on.

[ Elevator dings ]

[ Suspenseful music climbs ]

♪ All by myself to clean up your furries ♪

♪ All by myself, all by myself ♪

♪ All by myself to clean up your worries ♪

♪ All by myself ♪

[ Coughs ]