05x11 - Ebb Tide

[bunniefuu]

♪ Thank you for being a friend

♪ Traveled down the road and back again

♪ Your heart is true

♪ You're a pal and a confidante

♪ And if you threw a party

♪ Invited everyone you knew

♪ You would see the biggest gift would be from me

♪ And the card attached would say

♪ "Thank you for being a friend" ♪

Blanche.

Your picture's in the paper.

And there's a big article about the Citrus Festival.

What's it say, what's it say?

"Miami will be busy this weekend with ten major conventions." Listen to this.

"The highlight being the Citrus Festival Ball, "which is being chaired this year by 35-year-old Blanche Devereaux." How much did that cost you?

I don't have to pay for my compliments.

You went to bed with him?

Twice.

But it's not like I wouldn't have anyway.

Oh, good.

The newspaper's here.

Gimme the classifieds.

Oh, Ma, Ma, you're not gonna answer ads in the personals again, are you?

We got a lot of complaints last time.

Hey, he asked for a single white female who likes to party, and he got one.

No, I need to make some extra money.

What for?

When you get to be my age, the quality of your life changes.

While you're at work, I'm here by myself all day, and it gets lonely.

Oh, Ma.

Maybe I could stay home more.

Or we could get a giant-screen TV.

Oh, Ma, we can't afford that.

That's the thing.

The classifieds are filled with ads from people who couldn't find a hotel this weekend, and want to rent a room anyplace they can.

I'm not opening my home to boarders.

Oh, they usually just turn out to be lowlife trash who'll make a mess, and half the time you can't get your money from 'em.

Which reminds me, Rose, your rent check is late.

(phone rings)

Hello?

Yes, she is.

It's for you, Leona.

Who is it?

Your father.

Big Daddy?

Is that you, Big Daddy?

Hello, darling, how are you?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, darling, I can't come see you this weekend.

No, no, I mean it.

If it had been any other weekend...

I know, but I'm queen of a ball.

Ain't that something?

Here, listen to this.

Quote: "The highlight being the Citrus Festival Ball, "which is being chaired this year by 35-year-old Blanche Devereaux." Twice.

I probably would have anyway, though.

Sorry I can't come see you this weekend, but I'll check in with you on Monday.

I love you too.

Bye.

How is Big Daddy?

I think he's just missing me.

He's a little blue.

But when this festival is over, I'll fly up and spend a few days with him.

Come on.

Look at this, look!

Here's a couple that's willing to pay $400 a night for a room.

$400?

Back in St. Olaf, the most expensive room was $18.50.

And that includes the cow.

All right, Rose.

Why would you want a cow in the room?

It's the law.

Thank you so much.

Oh, everybody get in here!

Come and see what I just got.

What is it, Blanche?

My commemorative plate from the Citrus Festival just arrived.

Can I see it?

Oh, no, darling, don't touch it.

Nobody must touch it.

It is very rare.

Only the five people on the committee get these each year.

Oh, look.

Have you ever seen a more moving piece of art?

Only at Graceland.

See what it says?

(phone rings)

Hello?

Who's calling?

Oh, hi.

Hang on.

Blanche, it's your sister, Virginia.

Oh, for goodness...

Virginia, honey, is that you?

I swear the whole family's coming out of the woodwork.

Guess what?

I'm queen of a ball.

Twice.

Yeah, but I probably would have anyway.

What?

I spoke to Big Daddy just yesterday.

I see.

All right, I'll be there as soon as I can.

Blanche, what is it?

Oh, it's Big Daddy.

He's dead.

Well, if you're as friendly as your skies are, I'd sure love to get together sometime.

All right.

Bye.

I have a flight to Atlanta first thing tomorrow morning.

Blanche, honey, are you sure that you don't want one of us to go with you?

Don't be silly, I'm fine.

I'll just fly up to Atlanta tomorrow morning, tell Big Daddy I love him, and be back here in time to be queen of the ball.

Blanche, you can't do that.

Why not?

Big Daddy isn't dead.

I think Virginia's playing a little practical joke.

What kind of a person plays a joke like that?

You want to play a joke, you ring somebody's doorbell and run away.

Or you shorten the leg on somebody's walker so it wobbles.

Or you arrange for somebody to go on a long car trip with Rose.

You don't tell them their father's dead.

Now, look.

Big Daddy didn't sound sick when I talked to him.

He was just missing me.

That Virginia's always accusing me of not being there when the family needs me.

This is just her way of getting me to rush home.

Believe me, everything's fine.

Well, just the same, Blanche, I think I'd better go to Atlanta with you.

Whatever you want to do.

Ketchup to go on my lima beans.

Why?

Oh, he sometimes ate 'em that way.

He'd make up stories about how that's the way the kings and queens of Europe ate 'em.

He always made it sound so special.

He always made everything sound...

so damned special.

Oh, God, why didn't I go when he called?

Why didn't I go?

And this is the living room.

Oh, Blanche, it's a lovely home.

I better go check and see if the water for our tea is boiling.

There's so many memories connected to this room.

We used to have our big family reunions in here.

Generations of Hollingsworths would gather round Big Daddy with his bourbon.

While he sat there in front of a roaring fire regaling everybody with stories of the Old South, I'd sneak away up to my room and make out with cousin Abernathy.

The room has that sense of tradition.

Virginia.

Hello, Blanche, Dorothy.

Virginia, so sorry about your father.

Thank you.

Nice of you to come.

I was just going to make tea.

Anybody want anything else?

Oh, not me, thank you.

I'm too upset to eat.

I may never eat again.

Blanche.

Oh, you're right, I should keep up my strength.

Dorothy, something with frosting.

Come here, sister, and give me a big hug.

It's just a little late to be sharing a beautiful moment, don't you think?

Where were you, Blanche?

He wanted you.

He did not sound that sick on the phone.

Besides, I told him I'd be here to see him soon.

And don't you get so righteous with me.

Plenty of times you weren't there for him.

What are you talking about?

Always trying to make me out to be the inconsiderate one.

I remember when you were 16 and didn't come home for Father's Day.

I was away at school.

Oh, yes.

The Good Samaritan Academy for the Knocked-Up.

Two, four, six, eight, all us girls are three months late.

That was wonderful for him.

Didn't hurt him half as much as when you were 18, went off to Europe with that guy, Phil.

It was Philippe.

And Big Daddy understood how romantic it was to go live in Copenhagen with a tortured painter.

He painted houses, Blanche.

You are the one who has never been here for the family.

You.

I have always been here for this family, and how dare you say otherwise.

Everything you do is for Blanche.

To tell you the truth, I am surprised that you even made it to the funeral at all.

Maybe you would have been happier if I hadn't.

Maybe not happier.

But at least this family would be able to grieve for Big Daddy without wondering what is in it for Blanche.

Oh, fine.

You don't have a thing to worry about.

You won't have to think about Blanche.

Because if you're gonna be at that funeral I refuse to go.

OK, I want to go over a few of the house rules.

You share the bathroom with Dorothy's room.

The people across the street are out of town so you can use their pool.

They're friends of ours, so try and pick up after yourselves.

Hello.

Hi.

Oh!

Oh, I'm sorry, but you're not supposed to eat off that plate.

That's Blanche's Citrus Festival plate.

Are you staying here too?

We're in the room at the end of the hall.

I'm Peter, this is my wife, Maddy.

What room are you in?

I'd better check.

Sophia, who are Peter and Maddy and why are they staying in Blanche's room?

Because Dorothy's room and your room are already rented.

Well, where am I gonna sleep?

I could rent you half of my room.

Sophia, you can't do this.

Dorothy said...

Forget about what Dorothy said.

What do you want me to do?

Kick them out?

There's not a room in town.

These people come from a small town in Iowa, much like St. Olaf.

Really?

I don't lie about stuff like this, Rose.

The good people in that town saved and sacrificed so that Peter and Maddy could have one weekend of fun before his operation.

Well, he looks fine.

Oh, tell him that.

Look, call me crazy.

I don't see anything wrong with giving a veteran his last wish, and making some dough.

Well, I guess they can stay.

Thank you, Rose.

Here, take this out there, make sure they pay.

Oh, I don't think it's right to charge them.

Neither do I, but he hates pity.

I understand.

What a tool.

Blanche, if you want to change your mind, there's still time to get to the funeral.

Dorothy, come look at these old pictures.

I'm about ten years old in this one.

Big Daddy just taught me how to ride a horse.

You were quite a little porker back then, weren't you?

I was a little chunky, that's all.

Blanche, the horse's eyes are crossed.

Oh, no.

You were fat.

Every little girl goes through that ugly stage.

Ugly, yes.

But this is ugly and fat.

All right.

You seem to be getting a little bit too much pleasure out of all this.

Sorry, Blanche.

It's just that you've always described yourself as being a great beauty.

It's interesting to see that you were...

Plump.

Fat.

Enough.

I'm sorry.

Fat, fat, water rat, 50 b*ll*ts in your hat.

Dorothy.

All right, I'll stop.

I'll stop.

But could I have a copy of this?

All right, I was fat.

I can say it.

But only because I blossomed into the extraordinary woman I am today.

Well, Big Daddy didn't care.

He always said I was beautiful.

He was so proud.

You know, there's nobody to be proud of me anymore, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

You know, when anything good happens to me, I still can't wait to tell Ma.

Listen, Blanche, I think you have to go to the funeral.

You wanted to be there for him, be there for him now.

Don't let this argument with Virginia stand in your way.

Blanche, you're never gonna feel complete until you get to say goodbye.

You don't understand.

If I go to that funeral, he's dead.

Blanche, he is.

Look here.

This is when I was crowned Azalea Queen.

Wasn't I beautiful then?

And you still haven't lost it.

Actually, this picture was taken two years after I lost it.

Oh.

Look.

Aw!

(people singing)

♪ The first marine he found the bean, parlez-vous?

♪ The second marine, he cooked the bean, parlez-vous?

♪ The third marine, he ate the bean, rolled over the submarine

♪ Inky-dinky parlez-vous?

(laughing and cheering)

Oh, nice people.

Sophia, you didn't say anything about parties in the house.

Oh, so Peter and Maddy are having a few friends over.

We're making a bundle.

Boy, I wish we had thought of putting in a pay toilet.

(phone rings)

Hello?

It was Dorothy.

Hide me.

(phone rings)

Rose, you answer it.

I'm not gonna answer it.

I don't want to have to lie for you.

It's your daughter.

We're not that close.

You better answer it the next time.

She's gonna get mad.

(phone rings)

Hello?

Oh, hello, Dorothy.

No, it didn't ring here.

Why?

No, everything's fine here.

Sophia?

(whispers)

Tell her I'm in church.

(whispers)

She's in church.

I said, she's in church.

No, things couldn't be better here.

How's it going there?

Oh, that's good.

Then I'll see you tomorrow.

Give my love to Blanche.

Bye-bye.

I hate lying!

It goes against my nature.

I guess that's because growing up in St. Olaf, one day every year, they'd gather all the children who lied in the town square and the mayor would point at them.

(plate breaking)

Uh, you got any glue?

Oh!

Blanche's plate!

What are we gonna tell her?

The truth.

Good.

I just need a few minutes to come up with it.

These are for you, Mama.

Hi, Big Daddy.

I couldn't go home without telling you why I didn't come to your funeral.

Same old reason.

I was being selfish.

Thinking too much about how I was feeling, instead of coming out here to pay my loving respects.

You know, going through those photograph albums yesterday, with Dorothy, I realized that I haven't always been easy to love.

Oh, I was a horrible child.

Rebellious, difficult.

But you always made me feel loved and beautiful.

Even when I did make it hard on you.

I know I haven't always given much back, honey.

I was always so worried about me.

Why, I couldn't even come and see you when you needed me, before you d*ed, 'cause I was all caught up in that old silly ball.

There is no excuse for that.

Although I was the ball queen, did I tell you that?

Oh, that's right, I did.

Well, here I am, all caught up in myself still.

Fighting with Virginia and the rest of the family when we ought to be comforting each other.

I just feel like such a fool.

I would give up everything that I ever thought meant anything to me if I could have one moment with you.

I don't know if love can help you, wherever you are, but if it can, honey, you got it.

'Cause Big Daddy, I do love you so much.

I just wish there was some way I could know you're hearing what I'm saying.

Blanche...

Oh, Lordy...

Why, Dorothy, what are you doing?

I'm sorry, honey.

Cab driver says we'd better get going if we want to make our plane.

Big Daddy, you remember Dorothy.

Hello.

Honey, I have to go now.

You're in my prayers.

You take good care of him, Mama.

You hear me?

I love you.

I love you both.

I'm nobody's little girl anymore.

Rose, this was a great weekend!

We made $1700.

So I can get my TV.

And I've worked out what we can tell Blanche about that plate.

I wrote it down.

You be Rose, why don't I be Sophia.

This is what we'll say right after they walk in the door.

"Hi, Blanche.

You look beautiful.

Welcome home.

I love you." "I broke the plate.

I'm such a clumsy fool." OK.

Now you can skip down to here.

I'm not gonna do this!

You gotta.

(doorbell)

If it's the writing, I can punch it up.

Did you call about buying the Citrus Festival plate?

Yes, I did.

Oh, Rose.

You're beautiful.

How much do you want for it?

Well, they're pretty rare.

There's only five of these.

I'd say $2000.

$2000 a plate?

What is this?

A Republican fundraiser?

Look, these plates are collector's items.

I'm only doing this because you've said you're in a jam.

Sir, we have $1700 cash.

That's it.

I'll take it.

Give him the money, Sophia.

But my TV.

How about a hundred dollars and we'll show you a good time?

Give him the money.

Nice doing business with you.

Hello, everybody.

Hello there.

Who was that?

Gasman.

Oh.

Oh, it's so good to see you both home.

We took good care of your plate, Blanche.

Oh, thanks.

You know, I became a new person on this trip.

I realized that we have so little time while we're here together, we must cherish each and every moment.

Now, this plate represents the old me.

I feel wonderful.

I could go for some cheesecake.

What is this?

Sarcasm?