05x24 - Graduation

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Opening Credits

[SCENE – John Adams High hallway. Bearing his yearbook, Cory, with Shawn nearby, is seeking signatures.]

Cory: Hey Debbie! You wanna sign my I guess you don’t? (She walks away) Hey Mike! Let me sign your we were never that close! (Mike walks away) (Closes book, turns to Shawn excitedly) Isn’t this great? (Laughs) I mean, I love this week.

Shawn: Yeah, me too. Is it over yet?

Cory: No, look… Look at Frankie and Joey. (sh*t of Frankie “The Enforcer” and Joey “The Rat” nearby) They’re gone be graduating this year, and it only took them eight years!

Frankie: (To Joey, slaps his back) This is it, my good friend, Joey. Our last week as juvenile delinquents.

Joey: Yeah. Outta high school. The real world. So whaddya think we should be?

Frankie: Criminals?

Joey: Okay.

Frankie: But we should start small.

Joey: Yeah. (Sees Cory & Shawn) Let’s rob out friends. (They walk over to Cory & Shawn, grabbing their shoulders threateningly)

Frankie: Cory… Shawn…

Joey: Hey.

Cory: Hey.

Frankie: Because we have shared both times good and bad, we would be honored if you would sign these yearbooks we have pilfered.

Shawn: You took somebody else’s yearbooks?

Cory: (Stutters) You get your own.

Joey: (Shakes yearbook at Cory) Where’s the joy in that? (Slaps it in Shawn’s stomach, handing it to him)

Cory: You know what? Shawn, even Frankie and Joey have the spirit this week, right? I mean, (To Frankie) what would you like me to say?

Frankie: (Grinning) Just put down your address.

Joey: Yeah, y’know, and what time you’re not gonna be home. Y’know, you don’t have a big dog or nothin’, do ya? (Points to yearbook) Right there…

Frankie: Boys, take care of yourselves, and remember: always stay friends. (Slaps Cory’s back, circles to Joey’s side)

Cory: That’s nice, Frankie.

Frankie: Yeah, well, we like to think of ourselves as the Cory and Shawn of the underworld.

Joey: (Excitedly) Oh, I wanna be Cory. Can I be Cory?

Frankie: That makes me Shawn. Come on, Joey. (They walk away, Joey still visibly ecstatic)

Cory: You see that, Shawn, huh? Do you see how important this week is? Saying goodbye to people we might never see again. Saying goodbye to people who’ve been around, but we’ve sort of lost touch with.

Shawn: Like who?

Cory: Well, I don’t know. I guess there’s nobody really like that. (Camera cuts to Minkus, leaning on a nearby wall) Hi, Minkus.

Minkus: Oh, now it’s “Hi, Minkus.” For the last four years it’s been like I haven’t even been in the same school with you guys.

Shawn: Well, you know, we just never saw you around.

Minkus: I was, I was just in the other part of the school. (Gestures offstage)

Shawn: What “other part of the school”?

Minkus: Y’know, over there. (Points offstage)

Cory: Well, we don’t go there.

Shawn: (Looking offstage) Yeah, yeah. You go over there, you may never come back.

Minkus: Eh, that’s crazy. (To offstage) Hey, Mr. Turner! Wait up! (Walks away)

Cory: (After a confused pause) Well, Shawn, I think the time has come, (They sit on the couch) To sign each other’s yearbooks. (Looks at Shawn expectantly) Shall we talk about it first?

Shawn: No, no, let’s just do it. (They exchange yearbooks)

Cory: Okay, boy oh boy, where to begin, huh? What am I gonna say to you?! (Shoves Shawn playfully) I mean, this is gonna take me at least a week!

Shawn: I’m done. (Hands Cory his yearbook)

Cory: You’re done? (Reads yearbook) “Hey”? You write “Hey”?

Shawn: And I mean it.

Cory: You don’t even write my name?

Shawn: (Laughs) Cory, it’s your yearbook! Who else would it be to? You know how I feel about you, why do I have to write it down?

Cory: Because it’s just the spirit of the week, Shawn. (Stands, irritated) It’s about this place. Now, why don’t you care about this?

(Enter Topanga, carrying class rings)

Topanga: (In awe) Look what we got…

Cory: (Melting) Ooh! Our senior rings!

Topanga: Yeah, they just got here. You can pick up yours in the cafeteria, Shawn.

Shawn: No, I can’t, because I didn’t order one. They’re stupid. (Stands authoritatively) They mean nothing. (Watches Cory put the ring on Topanga’s finger like it’s the cutest thing ever) To me… (Walks away)

Cory: So, You been thinking about Yale? This is a big decision.

Topanga: I told you, Cory. I’m going to Pennbrook with you, that’s what I want.

Cory: You don’t turn down Yale without thinking about it, first.

Topanga: I have thought about it.

Cory: Listen, I got you some information from the internet last night. Okay, but promise me you’ll read it before you make up your mind.

(Bell rings)

Topanga: I love you, Cory.

Cory: Well you should.

(Topanga walks away, Shawn approaches)

Shawn: Pretending to be supportive, very smooth.

Cory: I’m not pretending, Shawn, and I’m not smooth. Topanga got into Yale and I’m proud of her. If she cheats herself out of going for me, how do I live with that?

Shawn: But you don’t want her to go. (Goes to locker, opens it, exchanges stuff)

Cory: (Follows Shawn) I want to support her. And I want you to support me for supporting her.

Shawn: (Closes locker) I support you. (Fake) Go, Cory!

Cory: You’re pretending, aren’t you?

Shawn: Yeah, Cor. Just like you. (Walks away)

[SCENE – Feeny’s class. The class is all situated when Feeny enters.]

Feeny: Welcome to your final week of Feeny, everyone. (Puts his briefcase on his desk) Here’s your assignment. (Collective class groan) Oh, shut up, I’m tired too… Now, this assignment is completely optional, and is for no credit.

Shawn: Oh, then I’ll get started on it right away. Oh look! I’m done! (Smiles)

Feeny: That’ right, Mr. Hunter, you don’t have to do it. (Looks squarely at Shawn) I want you to write about what’s in your heart during these last weeks of school.

Shawn: Why are you looking at me? (Feeny looks away, walks towards the front of the class) I don’t have to do it, right?

Angela: Do it, Shawn. It’s no pressure; it’ll be fun.

Shawn: It would not be fun.

Angela: Why not?

Topanga: (Announces) I’m doing it and I’m getting an A. (Nods)

Feeny: It’s for no credit, Miss Lawrence.

Topanga: I have six hundred and ninety-nine A’s… (Stands imposingly) I need one more… Give me the A, Feeny! (Grabs his lapels menacingly)

Feeny: (Terrified) Okay, fine, you get an A. (Topanga lets go) You don’t even have to do it, I’ll just give you an A because I’m scared of you. Now that makes an even 700.

Topanga: (Still dead serious) 700, that’s more than anybody, right?

Feeny: Oh, more than anybody. (Topanga sits looking smug, Cory is aghast) (Walks by Cory, to him) Good luck in hell, Mr. Matthews. (Walks on)

[SCENE – Jack, Eric, and Shawn’s apartment. Jack is there as Shawn enters. There is a big banner reading “Congratulations Shawn!” on it]

Jack: Surprise, Mr. Graduator!

Shawn: Jack, I told you, I’m not into this.

Jack: Oh yeah? Well I got something that may change your mind. Ta-da! (Shows Shawn a caricature of Shawn in a graduation get-up riding a diploma)

Shawn: Is that supposed to be me?

Jack: Yeah. Isn’t it great? I had a guy do it from a snapshot.

Shawn: (Sarcastically) Yeah, yeah, it’s great. (Takes it) Now graduation really means a lot to me. (Puts it facedown on the counter. Jack shoves him) What was that? (Shoves Jack back)

Jack: Why don’t you appreciate my caricature of you with the big head and the tiny body and you’re riding the big diploma; it’s a magic carpet ride to your future, huh? Why? Y’know, you don’t appreciate anything, man! (Shoves Shawn)

Shawn: It’s a crappy picture! I hate it! (Shoves Jack onto the couch, they begin to wrestle)

Jack: (While wrestling) Don’t you understand that? You will never go to high school ever… (Flips Shawn, pinning him) again!

Shawn: Oh yeah?! Hoo-ray!

Jack: (They wrap their arms around each others’ necks) I’m just trying to put you in touch with your feelings.

Shawn: (Being strangled by Jack’s arm) No, you’re trying to put me in touch with your feelings! (Shoves him away, the separate)

Jack: Why do we always end up wrestling?

Shawn: I think it’s how we communicate.

Jack: Yeah. Well, I have something else to say. (Grabs Shawn’s neck and pins him. Wrestling, they fall on the floor)

(Enter Eric from bedrooms, clad fully in black and wearing all sorts of spy gears, including a grappling hook over his shoulder. When he enters, Jack & Shawn stop and stare)

Eric: Feeny thinks he retiring; he thinks he’s moving away, uh-uh. I’m gonna stop him, I don’t know how, but I am. Maybe I’ll as the French for help. Or the Belgians, they’re not doing anything. (Steps over Shawn & Jack) You babies stop fighting. (Flips down night-vision goggles. When he exits, his grappling hook gets caught on the door, and when he turns around he drops his backpack. Eric pulls the hook from the door, picks up his bag, and exits clumsily. Jack and Shawn, after looking at each other curiously, continue to wrestle)

[SCENE – John Adams’ High School hallway. There are chickens in the hallway, but no one seems to care. Cory and Shawn enter, Cory immediately spots the chickens]

Cory: (Excitedly) Chickens in the hallway. Chickens in the hallway! Huh? (Laughing) Someone must’ve let ‘em loose as the official senior prank! Why, this is hilarious! Look at ‘em! Look at ‘em! Oh my gosh, look at the chickens! (Begins to run around with the chickens stupidly, flapping his arms) WHOOO!!! (Shakes a student) Chicken alert! YEEAAAAH!! Oh my gosh, this is crazy! I wonder which crazy (Jumps in front of Shawn) thought this up! This is nuts, huh?

(Feeny approaches)

Feeny: What’d you do? Rent a couple of chickens?

Cory: (To Feeny, subdued) Yeah, don’t step on them of I lose my deposit. (Turns around) CHICKENS!!! (Runs away)

Shawn: (To Feeny) Y’know, if I were in to this, which I’m not, I’d do a senior prank that you’d remember.

Feeny: (Smiling) Oh, I’m sure you would, Mr. Hunter. Are you working on that assignment about what high school has meant to you?

Shawn: Oh, yeah! The assignment! (Suddenly deadpan) No.

Cory: (Running by) CHICKEN ALERT!! AHH!!

Feeny: (To Shawn) I really think you should

Shawn: Are you saying I have to?

Feeny: What you end up doing, Mr. Hunter, is up to you. Always has been. I’m just here to point out what page we’re on. (Walks away)

Cory: (Runs over) CHICKEN-MANIA! Yeah! Whoo!

Topanga: (Walks over) Finished my valedictorian speech, you guys wanna hear it? (Shawn walks away)

[Camera cuts to Minkus, leaning on that same nearby wall]

Minkus: Oh? (Walks over) And what you so sure you’re the class valedictorian, little missy?

Topanga: Because I’m Topanga.

Minkus: Well, I’m Minkus. And I have six hundred and ninety nine A’s, which, according to my records is the same as you.

Cory: You counted A’s? What kind of sick psychopath counts A’s? (Topanga looks at him mischievously) Oh, yeah…

Topanga: I’ll tell you what to do, Stuart. You can go get Feeny’s grade book, and count them again. (Walks away triumphantly)

Minkus: You did something. (To Cory) She did something, didn’t she?

Cory: (Pats his shoulder) Take it easy, Minkus, you never had a chance.

Minkus: Oh she’s evil, Cory, she’s an evil little girl.

Cory: Yeah, but every time I kiss her I don’t care. (Walks over to Topanga)

Topanga: I read that material on Yale you gave me.

Cory: Yeah? What do you think?

Topanga: Cory, when you said you were serious about being supportive, you weren’t saying that just to be supportive, were you?

Cory: But Topanga, listen, Yale is one of the best schools in the country. And you deserve to go there.

Topanga: You know, I always tried to be a good student because I thought college would be the most important decision in my life.

Cory: It is! What could be a more important decision? (Topanga looks at him oddly) Listen, Topanga, I’m okay with this.

Topanga: Really?

Cory: Yeah… Go.

Topanga: Thank you. (Walks away)

Cory: (Looking sad, crouched down to chickens on the floor) You guys gonna leave me, too?

[SCENE – John Adams’ High School hallway. Cory, looking sad, is leaning against a wall and staring into space when Shawn approaches]

Cory: Topanga’s going to Yale.

Shawn: I told you, man. This is gonna be a terrible week.

Cory: Gosh, why did I have to act so supportive?

Shawn: So you were just pretending.

Cory: I didn’t think she’d actually go through with it.

Shawn: So… tell her how you really feel.

Cory: I can’t.

Shawn: Why not?

Cory: Because I don’t want her making the wrong choice because of me.

Shawn: And you’re not pretending this time?

Cory: No, I’m not.

[SCENE – Feeny’s office. Feeny is packing his belongings. There is a knock at the door, Topanga enters]

Topanga: Mr. Feeny, hey. I was in the library and I saw your light on. What’re you still doing here?

Feeny: Just packing up a few things. What on earth are you doing in the library?

Topanga: I was working on my valedictorian speech.

Feeny: (Waves hand dismissively) Oh, the speech will be fine. Give yourself a break.

Topanga: Yeah, but now that I’m going to Yale, everyone’s going to expect it to be like from someone who’s going to Yale. Fine’s not gonna be enough.

Feeny: Miss Lawrence, what did you actually come here to ask me?

Topanga: I don’t know what to do. Should I go to Yale?

Feeny: If you’re asking me if Yale is one of the finest academic institutions in the country, I would have to say, “Duh…”

Topanga: That’s not why I’m asking.

Feeny: Well, if you’re asking me whether or not you would be successful there, Yale wouldn’t have accepted you if they didn’t think you could live up to the challenge.

Topanga: That’s not why I’m asking.

Feeny: I tell you what, I retire right now, hm? (Smiles) What do you want?

Topanga: If I knew what I wanted I wouldn’t have come to you.

Feeny: Well then listen very carefully. Unless you have a very good reason for not going to Yale, you should go.

Topanga: (Smiles broadly) Thanks, Mr. Feeny.

Feeny: You’re welcome. If you need any more counseling, my door is always open to my students…

(Suddenly, a grappling hook flies through the window on latches onto the sill. Eric pulls himself up into the class room through the window)

Eric: Okay, Mr. Feeny, you are not retiring. You’re not going anywhere.

Feeny: (To Topanga) However, I must learn to close my window.

Eric: You are gonna live in that house next to my parents until you die or until I die, whichever one comes first. Although, y’know, it’ll probably be you, because you’re like, what? Eighty?

Feeny: (Points to window) Get out!

Eric: Okay. Hey, Topanga. (Stands on windows sill, picks up the hook, then falls out the window. All to the theme song of “Good Looking Guy”)

[SCENE – Feeny’s classroom. Class is nearly over, as Feeny closes his book to address the class]

Feeny: Well, the bell is about to ring. In a few minutes you’ll be flying out of here like your pants are on fire. (Stands) But since this is out last class together, I just wanna say… (The bell rings, everybody except Cory, Shawn, and Topanga bolts) Usually, I time it better than that. (To 3 remaining students) Okay, bell rang…

Cory: We wanna hear what you have to say.

Topanga: We’ve got time.

Feeny: Oh, well I was just gonna say good luck and… the truth is, I’m not very good at saying goodbye. (Wanders to chalk board, picks up eraser) We’re not gonna get all sappy, are we? (Erases board)

Topanga: We wanted to know if your decision to retire had anything to do with us.

Cory: (Stands) Mr. Feeny, we know we haven’t made life that easy for you these past couple years.

Shawn: I mean, when you think about all the stupid stuff we pulled.

Cory: You have to be leaving because of us.

Feeny: Well, I am. But not because of what you’ve done to me. Because of what you’ve done for me.

Shawn: We haven’t done anything for you.

Feeny: You three have given me more gratification in that last four years than I ever dreamed possible. You must know that.

Cory: But you always complained about how difficult we are.

Feeny: Well, you are. But sometimes, the things you complain most about, are the things that you care most about. Unfortunately, we don’t always know that until it’s too late. (Walks towards Shawn) By the way, how is that paper coming?

[Camera sh*t of Shawn sitting alone on a step in the hallway, thinking]

[SCENE – Auditorium. It is graduation. The student body, wearing their caps and gowns, are sitting together on the stage. Feeny is making a speech to the audience.]

Feeny: I would like to welcome you all to the graduation ceremonies of the class of ’98. (To students) Congratulations, we did it! (Students explode in clapping & cheering) (To audience) And now, it’s time to introduce our valedictorian. A student who exemplifies academic excellence, as well as extracurricular achievement and social conscience.

Minkus: (Stands) She got one more lousy A than I did! (The students around him pull him down)

Feeny: (To audience) Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Topanga Lawrence. (Everyone applauds except Cory, Topanga goes over to the podium)

Shawn: (To Cory) Cory, you’re not clapping.

Cory: I can’t. The closer we get to graduating the closer she get to going to Yale.

Topanga: (At podium) Thank you, Mr. Feeny. (To audience) Ladies and gentlemen, my fellow class members of the class of ’98, I am very honored to be your valedictorian, and I worked very hard on this speech. However, I’m not going to give it. (The audience is astir) Because I know somebody who could give a much better speech than I ever could. Ladies and gentlemen, my good friend, Shawn Hunter. (Holds out arm) (Audience applauds)

Shawn: (To Cory) Hey, (winks) you only go to high school once. (Walks over to the podium and hugs Topanga, who returns to her seat) Thank you, Topanga. (To audience) You know, I read her speech. It kicked butt. I attended John Adams High School sporadically during the last four years, I barely have a C average, that’s why I’m here. Mr. Feeny asked us to write about what we were feeling this week and, of course, I was feeling like I always do, I couldn’t wait to get out of here…

Topanga: Cory, I know what I want to do with my life.

Cory: Shhh, Shawn’s speaking in public. This will never happen again in our lives.

Shawn: (To audience) But now, high school is over. And just when I’m finally free, I find myself sneaking back into this place and sitting in the hall, thinking about my friends and all the time we spent here. (Looks to Feeny) And you, Mr. Feeny. I started thinking about you. And how you’ve always told us what to do without ever telling us what to do. You taught us about life. I was thinking about how much this place has been my home. And how many times I screwed up when I was here. How I could’ve done better. I could’ve done better. That’s um… That’s what I wrote. (Folds speech paper) That’s how I feel. I’m sorry. (Looks to Feeny) I could’ve done better. (Looks to students) Congratulations to those who did. (Audience applauds)

Feeny: (Stands, walks to Shawn, shakes his hand) That was a fine paper. No one could’ve done it better. (Pats his shoulder, then walks to the podium) (To audience) Now, I would like to say something…

Eric: (Pops up from among students) NO!! You’re not going anywhere. Hi everybody. Hey mom, hey dad. (Makes way out of students) Excuse me, hey kids. Congratulations. Excuse me, ow… (Walks over to podium) Excuse me, need this. (Takes the microphone)

Feeny: (Scolding) Eric.

Eric: (To audience) Uh… as most of you already know, um, at the end of this school year, Mr. Feeny will be retiring. And as a former student and John Adams’ High it made me real mad. Hello, I’m Eric Matthews.

Feeny: (Trying to take microphone) Give me the microphone.

Eric: (Holding on) Back off, old man.

Cory: (Whispering) Eric!

Eric: Cor, I know what I’m doing. (To Feeny) Mr. Feeny, um, I could tell you what I think about you but it would just come out a bunch of words. And I know that nobody could say it better than a little girl named Lulu. Music? (Music starts, Eric puts his arm around Feeny and sways back and forth) (Singing) Those schoolgirl days… Of telling tales and biting nails (Feeny tries to escape, Eric pulls him close) are gone…

Alan: (Quietly to Amy and Morgan) Let’s get out of here.

Eric: (Still singing) But, in my mind… (Alan, Amy & Morgan begin to walk out) I know that we’ll still live on and on… (Feeny sits, Eric lays across the teachers) But how do you thank someone who’s taken you from crayons to perfume…? (Frankie sways) It isn’t easy but I try-hy… (Feeny pushes Eric on the floor, the gets up. Eric grabs his leg) If you wanted the sky, I would write across the sky in letters, (Stands) that would soar ten thousand feet high… To sir… With lo-ove…! (Cory, Shawn, and Topanga look on in disbelieve, Topanga’s mouth gaping)

[Cut to later, Feeny hands out the diplomas from the podium]

Feeny: Shawn Hunter… (Hands Shawn his diploma, he proudly moves the tassel from one side to the other) Erica Jackson…

Jack: (In audience, to guy next to him) That’s my brother.

Guy: Shh!!

(Shawn hugs Cory & Topanga)

Feeny: Topanga Lawrence… (Topanga takes her diploma, then walks back and hugs Cory, Angela, and Shawn) Cynthia Little… Cory Matthews… (Cory walks up and accepts his diploma, showing it proudly to his parents) Jackie Miller… (Cory hugs Shawn and Topanga) Stuart Minkus… (Minkus accepts his diploma, then walks to Cory, Shawn, and Topanga, holding out his arms for a hug) Angela Moore… (Angela goes for her diploma, Topanga, Shawn and Cory give Minkus a big hug)(After taking her diploma, Angela switches her tassel) Phyllis Nakamura… (Shawn and Angela hug)

Cory: (To Topanga) So, you were gonna say something. Was it important?

Topanga: You mean that I decided what I want to do with my life?

Cory: Yeah, that.

Topanga: Mr. Feeny said I should go to Yale unless I have a really good reason not to.

Cory: Well, there isn’t any good reason.

Topanga: Actually, there is.

Feeny: Myra Zinkerman. (Hands out last diploma)

Topanga: Cory…

Cory: What?

Feeny: Ladies and gentlemen, the John Adams High School Class of nineteen hundred and ninety-eight! (The whole class, except Cory & Topanga, stands)

Topanga: (Cory stands halfway) Will you marry me? (Cory sits, the students all cheer, except Cory & Topanga, who stare at each other.)