05x02 - Boy Meets Real World

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Boy Meets World". Aired: September 1993 to May 2000.*
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A coming-of-age comedy follows Cory as he juggles school, friends and romance.
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05x02 - Boy Meets Real World

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on Boy Meets World Excuse me.

New guy in town.

Going to Pennbrook.

Just got a three-bedroom apartment and looking for roommates.

What are you doing here?

No, don't ruin this for me.

Shawn, listen, whoever this guy is, whatever minor personal infraction happened between the two of you, let it go, because the world knows that this one is gonna be Eric's roommate, and the world is my friend.

How do you two know each other?

He's my brother.

You two boys have been given an opportunity to get to know each other.

I think you should take advantage of it.

No, Dad.

He wants a roommate, I want you to live with him.

Welcome to your new home, bud.

Thanks.

It comes with hardwood floors, high ceilings And a brother.

Hi, Janice.

Huh!

Well, my October's pretty full.

But the third Friday in November looks good.

You'll have to share me with Phyllis, but why don't I pencil you in there?

Hey, Brother Shawn.

It's me, Jack, home from college.

Got an "A.

" Now they want me to teach.

Cut.

Let me explain this once again.

I'm sh**ting a documentary for Feeny's film class.

It's like MTV's The Real World.

Now, I'm gonna follow you around the apartment, but for this to work, I need you to please be yourselves.

Well, my October really is full.

I really did get an "A.

" What's up, dudes?

Caught some major waves downtown.

Now, that's not real!

Come on!

Let's do this again.

This is the true story of three new roommates.

Eric.

How great is this?

Jack.

Do you know how great this is?

And Shawn.

This is great!

I'm not sure this will work.

It's been a long time.

Yeah, long time.

The real reason I moved in here was because my dad thought it would be a good chance for me to get to know my half-brother, Jack.

So, you like cottage cheese?

Yeah.

I do.

Ladies seem to think Jack's a pretty good-looking guy.

Not much competition for me, though.

I'm eight months older, and I work out.

Enough said.

Don't show that.

Eric spends a lot of time in front of the mirror.

But that's not going to help with the pretty babies.

See, women like a guy who's more interested in them than himself.

No, let's do it again.

I can give you a better smile.

You know, I really hope this thing works out with my brother.

Although it's been years since I've seen him and I don't even know if we're anything alike.

No, let's do it again.

I can give you more vulnerability.

An excellent start on your documentary, Mr.

Matthews.

What?

Yes, excellent.

I said, "Excellent.

" And I was talking about something you did.

I don't know what came over me.

Wow.

Mr.

Feeny, you really think that I made a good film?

No.

I think The Graduate was a good film.

What we have here is an excellent What?

Don't toy with me, Mr.

Matthews.

I would simply suggest that this being your senior year and NYU having a wonderful film program, that this student film could be your foot in the door to a fine university.

This film could be my foot.

That said, are there any comments on the documentary we just saw?

Angela.

No offense, Cory, but your project looks like you ripped off that show on MTV, The Real World.

I have no knowledge of this Real World of which you speak.

My real world is the real, real world.

You know, Topanga, I am so inspired here.

I mean, I haven't even begun to scratch the surface on this whole apartment thing.

I mean, you got Eric who hasn't been on his own at all, and then you got two brothers who haven't seen each other in years, all sharing a single bathroom.

My God, the possibilities.

Cory, are you sure that your friends are okay with you sticking a camera in their personal lives?

Not just okay, delighted, giddy.

Where'd I put my camera anyway?

How long do I have to smile like this, Cory?

Cor?

Yeah, Jack found a pretty nice place, but that's what he's used to.

He grew up with money.

Although the apartment doesn't have the charm of the place I used to live in.

I do like the idea of being able to take a shower without worrying about whether a twister is going to suck me naked through the roof.

You go too far.

I've got a film to make, Shawn.

Now, you agreed to do this.

Cory, you have five minutes of me in the shower!

You can't use that!

Well, it's for the European version.

Okay, if I don't get into NYU, my next choice is Sweden YU.

Hello.

Hi, I'm Wendy from 3-B.

I stopped by to say hi to Jack.

Oh, he's not here.

Drop the towel.

What?

Drop the towel.

Make it look like an accident, but drop it.

Why is a strange boy with a camera dressed like Paddington Bear?

He's doing a student film.

If it embarrasses you, you can just tell him to stop.

No, no, I'm an acting major.

Here we go.

I have two monologs.

Nora from A Doll's House and one that I wrote called, "I'm a Little Unicorn.

" I'm also very good at improv.

She's good at improv.

Kiss her.

Get away!

I can do love scenes.

I'm not afraid.

Okay.

Wow.

Wow.

Call me.

Wow!

Wow!

She comes to see Jack, Shawn gets her number.

The plot thickens.

So, Shawn, how are things working out with your brother?

Don't tell her.

Let her see it on film.

Shawn, are you sure you're okay with this?

I mean, it sounds kind of personal.

It is.

But, you know, Cory's my best friend, and I trust that he's not going to make me look bad.

My vision is to show people a side of Shawn Hunter that they have never seen before.

What side is that?

Well, the side that shows you overcoming all the odds.

You know, moving out of the trailer park, getting to know your newfound brother from a different social class who desperately wants to bond with you, and in a stunning plot twist, just walked in with your new girlfriend.

Let's see what happens.

I can't believe he snaked her.

Hey, Shawn.

This is Wendy.

Yeah.

We've met.

Hi.

What do you mean you've met?

Could I talk to you for a minute?

I'm going to talk to him for a minute.

So, how do you know Wendy?

She came to the door.

I was in a towel.

You?

Orientation.

It was a lot more exciting than it sounds.

Phone number.

Phone number.

Kiss?

Kiss.

And she performed "I'm a Little Unicorn" for me.

We've got a problem here, Jack.

No.

The only problem I see is that I'm in the middle of a date, and you're in the middle of me being on a date.

Where did you take her?

To dinner and a concert.

Dinner and a concert?

Sheryl Crow.

We're here for dessert.

You win.

What?

I can't compete with dinner and a concert, Jack.

Shawn, it's not a competition.

Well, not anymore.

Look, there's more to this than Wendy, okay?

So if you want, I'll tell her to go home, and you and I could have some time to talk.

Cory?

No, you know what?

I'm sorry I bothered you at all.

Have a nice date, okay?

Cory?

Shawn and I are not getting off to a good start.

I really don't know why it isn't working.

Maybe this whole thing was a mistake.

It's been too many years.

I mean, what was my dad thinking?

He puts us in an apartment together, and we're suddenly supposed to be brothers?

I mean, what makes us brothers?

Cory's more my brother.

Guy's first time away from home.

About to do laundry, unsupervised.

Hello.

Do you know where your story is?

No, no, no, not in the hot water.

It'll shrink!

Oh!

I should be there to talk him through this.

He's an idiot.

Cut the cord.

Guys, this is Eric.

His real name is Larry.

He's my best friend, Barbie's, brother.

But around us, he's Eric.

Hi, Mom, Daddy.

What's going on, please?

We all miss Eric so much, I hired Larry to be Eric.

That's ridiculous.

Does he play basketball?

Hi, Mom, Daddy.

Who are you?

Eric.

Who are you?

Eric.

Welcome.

Hey, I'm going to need some more clothes.

No kidding.

Cory, question.

You know Shawn better than anybody else.

What is wrong with him?

Why can't he get along with Jack?

I'll talk to him.

Well, you better get over there 'cause they're gonna k*ll each other.

And all through my life, everyone's always asked me, "What do you want to be when you grow up, young whippersnapper?

" Who talks like that?

Crazy people.

And the point is, it was a lot of pressure, Topanga.

And now that I've found something that I'm good at, it's like the pressure's off.

Cory, why can't you just put down your camera and realize that your friend is in trouble?

Pressure, pressure from the girlfriend.

I thought I was doing you a favor.

Well, I don't need your charity.

It's not charity.

I felt bad for you because you couldn't afford those concert tickets, so I bought them.

I don't want anything you bought with your father's money, okay?

For your information, I work every summer for my money.

I'm not some spoiled little rich kid, okay?

I pay for school with student loans.

And what do you have against my father, Shawn?

Nothing.

I don't even know him.

What do you have against your real father?

Shawn, my father is the one who raised me.

I can't just have feelings for someone I don't know.

Yeah?

Well, neither can I.

You can find yourself another roommate.

What do you think?

You hide behind that camera and disappear?

That must not be a very good lens if you cannot see what's going on here.

Topanga, listen, I understand what you're saying, okay?

But what you don't understand is that the assignment is to make a documentary.


I'm like the guy making a nature film in Africa, and when that antelope is about to get eaten by the lion, the guy behind the camera doesn't stop the lion.

He films it and lets nature take its course.

And as a filmmaker, maybe you're right.

But as a friend, well, then I guess we'll just have to let nature take its Nature take its what?

That's how you end a sentence?

Where do you come up with these?

Morgan, I understand that you miss Eric.

Yeah.

But you can't replace him by hiring this young man.

I'm not trying to replace him.

I just want to miss my real brother less.

Your parents can't possibly approve of this.

Yeah, they do.

My dad even plays basketball with him.

Now I want you to give him some advice, like you always gave Eric.

Run, man.

Run like the wind.

Hey, Cor.

Those junipers are coming in quite nicely this year, huh, Mr.

Feeny?

Don't mock my garden.

I know you too well, Mr.

Matthews.

If you have a problem, just come out with it.

Did you mean it when you said I could be an excellent filmmaker?

I think your project shows great potential.

Yeah.

Yeah, it does.

I mean, it's got passion, it's got conflict, everything that makes a film great, right?

Mmm-hmm.

Looks like you're on track.

Yeah.

The problem is Topanga.

See, she doesn't understand that the guy behind the camera has to stay behind the camera and not get emotionally involved.

Even though this means that Shawn and his new brother may not be getting along.

I see.

Well, Mr.

Matthews, I think it's safe to say that no matter how your film turns out, you have the potential of being a sensitive and caring filmmaker, if you so choose.

Why do you say that?

Because I know you to be a sensitive and caring young person.

And I'll be very interested in seeing how your story turns out.

Film.

Yes.

Film.

Hey, Jack.

Got some lovelies here from Dance, Jack.

I'm dancing.

You don't seem to be enjoying yourself.

No.

He is enjoying himself, let me tell you.

This wild man here is the kind of guy who likes to dance on the inside.

Dance on the outside, Jack.

You know, maybe we should call it a night.

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

No, the day Eric Matthews calls it a night at 7:00 is the day he leaves the business.

You look really depressed.

Should I do a comedic monolog?

Tomorrow!

Tonight we sleep.

Tomorrow you do the monolog.

I tell you, we want to be well-rested for that monolog, too.

Hey, we're at the door now, okay?

Bye-bye then.

You know, the whole reason I wanted Shawn to move in here was so I could get to know him.

And he won't let me.

I reach out, he resents me.

I try to be honest with him, he runs out.

Maybe this brother thing isn't going to work, man.

You know, maybe you're right.

Why don't you just, you know, walk away?

Then you won't be brothers anymore, right?

Yeah, I mean, we don't even know each other.

What makes us brothers in the first place?

Okay.

When I was 12, Cory and I went to a Phillies game.

My father gave me just enough money for two hot dogs, so, you know, I went and I bought two hot dogs.

Of course I realized by the time I got back to Cory, I ate them both.

Cory cried.

This is very sad.

That was the happy part.

You want sad?

I went up and down the aisle trying to collect money from people.

Get a dime here, a quarter there.

And I went and I bought Cory a hot dog.

Man, he was so happy.

He smiled.

And then I smiled, 'cause I felt good.

You know, I did the right thing.

I was a good older brother.

He started giggling, reached his little hand out for that hot dog and took a foul ball right smack-dab in the head.

Knocked him unconscious.

Cory doesn't giggle anymore.

Next to Wendy's unicorn monolog, that's the worst story I've ever heard.

You know something?

You're right.

That is a really bad story.

So, why don't you tell me one about your brother?

Hey.

Look who's here.

The documentary man.

South Philly, making movies.

Yeah, I figured you'd be here.

Gosh, I haven't been here since you moved to the trailer park.

Yeah.

You know, Jack lived here, too.

Although I'm sure he's forgotten.

So why don't you start rolling that thing, and we'll finish your movie.

No.

No, I'm not here for that.

That's not important anymore.

It is to me.

I've got something to say.

Turn it on.

I was seven when my dad first told me that I had a brother.

You know, I always wanted a brother.

I wondered what he looked like, if he'd like me, if he even knew about me.

When I was 10, I finally got the courage to write Jack a letter telling him all about me.

I didn't get an answer.

But I kept writing to him because he was my brother.

And I must have sent him, like, 15 letters, and I never got a single thing back.

So I knew that he didn't want to have anything to do with me, and he still doesn't.

I never got any letters.

What are you doing here?

My mom must have thrown them away without showing them to me.

I don't believe that.

You're ashamed of me.

You always were.

Shawn Let me go.

No.

You're not listening to him.

Okay?

Now listen to what he has to say.

Don't get in the middle of this.

No, the problem is, Shawn, I didn't get in the middle of this in the beginning.

You were behind your camera from the beginning.

I didn't realize what was going on.

Listen, it's not about my film anymore.

It's too personal now.

This is your life.

Give it a happy ending, okay?

Did she really throw them away?

I never got them, man.

But if you had, would you have written me back?

If I had known you wanted to see me, I would've gotten on a bus and found you.

Yeah?

I found you now, didn't I?

All I ever wanted was a brother.

Okay.

You got one.

And clean up this mess, will you?

This isn't my mess, this is your mess.

Clean up this mess, you pig.

Pig?

Did you just call me a pig?

My brother just called me a pig.

I think this might work out.

Yesterday, Shawn and I went out for a couple of hot dogs.

Not much of a story, but it's a start.

They go round and round.

I mean, that's what dries them.

I could've been a good Eric.

I wasn't given a chance.

He wasn't as good an Eric as he thought.

He coasted.

Took the job for granted.

We couldn't tell Morgan this, but he stole.

We found this in his backpack.

I'm thinking of putting my house up for sale.

I thought once the kids started getting older, things would quiet down, but it just gets weirder.

I've been meeting with the people at Disney.

They are very interested in my film.

They're talking three-picture deal.

Personally, I'm thinking about going the independent route.

Maybe the Sundance Film Festival.

I need to think.

This is the story of Jack, Shawn, and Eric.

Three new roommates.

They've been through a lot, and they've made it.

Now nothing will tear them apart.

You're breathing loud again.

So I'm a loud breather.

Why can't you breathe more like me?

What do I know?
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