03x07 - Twist and Shout

[bunniefuu]

They're the lost pages of the Necronomicon.

Though he may have found a way to open the rift.

We believe it's a mystic passage between the human sphere and the Dead lands.

They're all dead.

Welcome to my world, lady.

Well that kid in your car...

and you really think that that had something to do with Ms. Prevett?

Once that idiot Ash Williams is dead, you and I will go on to immortal glory.

Kaya...

Ruby.

I have a vessel.

The Dark Ones know about the rift.

We need to find it before they get out.

You help me drive Ash's daughter over the edge and we won't have to.

That's better.

So good job tracking down that Kandarian demon poker.

Alright, here's the plan.

We gear up, we corner Ruby in her little evil...

She won't be there.

Well, you clean up pretty well.

Thanks.

My Mom always liked this dress on me.

It's pretty.

But I'm not sure this is the time to be playing Barbie dress-up.

So there's this dance tonight at school and...

You wanna go to a school dance when evil is circling like sharks at a tuna rodeo?

I have a plan.

Ms. Prevett sent me text saying she wanted to "clear the air" tonight.

And you're gonna say no, 'cause you're my daughter and you're smart.

Look, if you're right and Ms. Prevett is a demon, then that means she k*lled my mom, and Rachel.

And who knows how many others.

I need to know for sure, and when I do...

Daddio's gonna swoop in for the k*ll.

Kelly?

You've heard a lot of my dumb ideas.

You wanna weigh in on this one?

I think it's a great idea, Ash.

Ruby trusts her.

She might throw her off guard.

And besides, if anything goes awry.

You and I will be right there.

Okay, daughter, we do this your way.

But from now on you're rubber and we're glue, you got that?

Dad.

Thanks.

Well, that's what super.

Yeah.

Negeltu dumuzi sepiya...

Mummu sa dalkhu sabola!

Welcome to me, my son.

The new Prophesied One.

I have waited for this night for hundreds of years.

In order for us to succeed, you must do exactly as I say.

I'm ready mother.

Now listen.

We have to convince Brandy that you're her real father, and for that to work, you have to look just like him.

How am I doing?

There is still just one small detail.

This hurts mother.

Is that normal?

It'll scab over.

Make it stop!

When you're done there, I want you to get dressed.

The dance is about to start.

Yes, Mother.

I'm really sorry about your friends getting k*lled and all.

I thought we were ready.

We had no idea what we were getting into.

What's that?

Pablo, are you there?

What the f*ck?

Hello?

Is someone there?

I think there's somebody in there.

Pablo?

Pablo!

Hey, Pablo!

Kelly?!

Pablo, it's so good to see your face.

I don't get it!

Where are you?

No f*ckin' idea.

I f*cked up.

I went after Ruby with the Kandarian dagger and she got it away from me.

What do mean?

What happened, Kelly?

Ruby k*lled me.

She k*lled me with the dagger.

What?

I'm pretty sure I'm dead.

What is that?

f*ck, it's coming back.

Kelly?

No!

No!

No!

Pabloooooo!

Kelly, please!

Kelly?

Kelly?

Kelly?

Kelly?

Is your friend Kelly gone?

Ruby took her!

Hey girl!

Okay.

We get in there, we find Ruby, Brandy, you push her demon buttons, then ding dong the witch is dead.

Hey!

Hey, isn't that Ashy.

Whoa boy.

What's the matter?

The cops.

They get all squirrelly when they find a demon baby in your trunk.

I'm still going in.

That's fine, plan B.

You guys go in the front, I'm going in the back.

But how..

Don't worry about it.

Kelly.

I'm counting on you.

Don't worry, Ash.

She's not getting out my sight.

Brandy, don't take this the wrong way, but did your father seem a little...

strange tonight?

I dunno, "strange" is him most of the time.

Why?

You know how sometimes you just get a bad feeling?

Check it out.

Found it taped behind a fire alarm.

Looks f*cking ancient.

The sh*t still smokes!

Man, I can't be that high.

It's Ashy-Slashy again!

You know you kids are inhaling a controlled substance?

Now you're gonna slash us like you slash your prices?

You really should read the brochures.

Cannabis is a well-known gateway drug.

Fine, it's gone, weirdo.

You take that stupid saw everywhere?

You'd be surprised how often I need it.

Wanna touch the blade?

No!

Well, seeing as how you two youngsters are already headed down the hemp highway to nowhere.

What the hell are you doing?

You know what they say.

Spare the saw, spoil the child.

Could I have your attention please everyone?

As you all know, a couple of days ago we lost two people very, very precious to our community.

Candace Barr and Rachel Manning, were taken from us in a most horrific way, but tonight we want to celebrate the giving people that they were.

So will you join me now in a moment of silence.

We love you Rachel.

Did you know she was going to do this?

No, I didn't.

You don't think it could actually be genuine?

Five minutes ago I would have said no, but now...

Hi Brandy!

I'm so glad you decided to come.

I hope that wasn't too emotional for you.

It's actually really nice.

You wore the dress that your mom liked.

I'm glad.

Hey.

You said you wanted to talk to her, so talk.

Maybe we should go somewhere quieter.

Right.

I don't think so.

It's okay, Brandy, I'll be right behind you.

Security door my dimpled butt.

No!

Brandy?

Brandy?

Yo, demon, step away from the dead teenager.

Whoa, another dumb ass double.

Are you what used to be little me?

That's right.

I'm all grown up now.

Ash, I'm so disappointed in you.

You've gone soft.

Soft?

I can hold my own, pal.

You are your own worst enemy.

It pains me to know that somebody so unqualified could actually be the Prophesied One.

Think you could do better?

Good gravy, yes!

But lets put a pin in that because I have to get back to our daughter.

Brandy!

Yeah?!

Three and a half horses that says no way, Jose.

Freeze, m*therf*cker!

Hands in the air!

Officer!

I know this looks bad.

Turn around!

Now!

Okay, look, your father is right about one thing.

I do know more than I was letting on.

How much more?

A great evil is coming.

And the only way we to defeat it is if we stick together.

A supernatural w*r is brewing, and you've been caught in the middle of it.

So are you saying that you area demon?

Honey.

No.

But your dad is.

What?

Well, that's new.

Look, I know that I lied about my intensions, but it was only to protect you.

I had to find out the truth.

I had to be sure about your father.

But you think about it.

He opened the book.

He brought the evil to Elk Grove.

Kelly?

Hate to say, but she's not wrong.

This all started once Ash read from that damned Book.

You just think about all the deaths of all those innocents, and the horror that's occurred because of him.

You really expect me to believe that he's one of those things?

Brandy...

Hey?

I've been watching her.

I'm not so sure you have the ability to shake her faith in her father.

Well, that's what you're doing here.

You just keep pushing, my child will do the rest.

Ruby.

When Brandy kills Ash, the prophesy from the Book will be fulfilled.

And my child becomes the Savior.

Then I will have dominion over the Dark Ones, enough to free you from your hell.

And grant you true immortality.

Dad?!

Dad, where are you?!

What are you doing?

Looking for you.

Hugs?

Are you all right?

Peachy.

I'm just a little embarrassed.

Embarrassed?

Yeah, I'm afraid I've been keeping a secret from you.

My God!

It's sad.

I just wish that young man had shown a little more common sense.

You did this!?

Tonight's event had a very specific dress code, and he wears those shoes?

Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you?

Well, that's the little secret I was talking about.

Brandy!

That bastard.

Shut it, butcher!

When they strap you to the table, I'm gonna ask to stick in the needle myself.

Yeah, jokes on you, pal!

Michigan doesn't even have the death penalty!

Shut up and...

Kelly, where the hell have you been?

And why aren't you with Brandy?

She took off on me!

Ash, it's worse than we thought.

I think Ruby's planning to k*ll Brandy tonight!

What are we going to do?

Well, for starters there's a very handsome but demented version of me running around here.

So if you see him, I give you permission to break his face.

And what about you?

I'm gonna save my daughter.

Brandy?!

Let's go!

Let's go!

Let's go!

Whoa.

Hey.

It wasn't me!

It was the other me!

Let's go!

Hello girl!

Ms. Prevett!

I just heard there's a k*ller in the school!

No.

You were right, he's some kind of demon freak!

My God, did he do that too?

Brandy this is just the beginning.

Everybody here is in danger!

Brandy!

You left before we could finish!

Augh!

Get down!

Brandy!

Come to Papa!

Brandy!

Come and dance with your dad!

Noo!!

Brandy!

Brandy!

It's Ashy Slashy!

Help me!

Help me!

Help me.

sh*t!

Come on!

Jefe!

sh*t.

Sorry.

Jefe!

Pablo!

Kelly?

I'm in here.

Kelly!

You said you were...

I thought you...

Kelly, are you okay?

Me?

I'm fine.

I mean it's crazy out there.

All hell has broken loose!

Are you okay?

'Cause you seem nervous.

I am.

Nervous.

Because, I...

Kel, I thought that you were in danger.

I would never be able to forgive myself if something bad happened to you.

Especially since I never worked up the courage to...

kiss you.

Well, maybe we should change that.

Yeah, maybe we should.

Yeah, that's right!

I hit you 'cause the real Kelly and I did kiss, and it was freakin' awesome!

So what are you, anyway?

Demon.

None of the above.

I'm Kaya.

Brandy, if it comes to it honey.

You protect yourself.

No!

Ash Williams!

Leave these children alone!

If it's me you want, here I am!

Whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Brandy!

It's okay, Daddy's here!

Stay the f*ck away from us!

Go ahead, sh**t me.

Put a hole through this pretty face you love so much.

Do it!

Come on, lover boy.

When this is over you can have what's left of this body.

Pull the trigger.

No!

Please don't.

Tell Kelly I said thanks for her flesh and blood.

No!!

Jefe!

Careful, that thing is dangerous!

Stay back!

You're one of them!

No.

Very simple explanation, kiddo.

There's two of me!

He'd say anything!

You're a monster!

She's the one you should be afraid of!

Leave her alone!

No!

You're k*lling her!

I'm not doing this!

She's doing it herself!

When did you start liking this?

Jefe!

Jefe.

I know that word!

You just called me "Boss." Good thing I'm fluent in Español.

Yeah!

Ash, Kelly's dead!

Ruby k*lled her and now some nasty demon took over her body!

That sounds diabolical.

Is that a chainsaw I hear?

Why yes it is.

Where you come from they're better known as "moto sierra." And it's not yours?

Well, that's complicated, my little friend, but don't fret.

Soon it'll all be over.

You're not Ash!

Gee.

What gave it away?

Stop him.

Honey, gimme that dagger.

I'll send that she-bitch back to hell!

She's already dead.

You k*lled her just like you k*lled those kids.

You want to end this nightmare, you give me that Kn*fe!

Shut up!

Just shut up!

I'm your Pop.

Alright.

Love you.

Dad!

Get in!

That's my daughter.

Like daughter, like dad.

I can't.

You deserve it, but I can't.

You don't have an invite.

What the hell?

That's what I was trying to tell ya!

Jefe, help!

Ruby went to Kandarian Kinkos and this assh*le popped up.

Hey good lookin'.

Get out of my Jazz.

You missed.

Pablo you missed a great party.

Jefe, Kelly's...

No.

Hundreds of years spent looking for that Book.

And two years in this sh*t hole of a school.

My God.

You were right.

No one is that stupid or that lucky.

Maybe not, but you're next Ruby.

Brandy!

No!

Brandy.

Brandy?

Brandy?

No.

Hello?

Hello