So, I just saw who's nominated
for those yearbook award thingies.
The senior superlatives?
KC, stop with the big words
that no one's ever heard of.
Well, you clearly aren't
nominated for Best Vocabulary.
Uh, no! I am not nominated for anything!
I cannot believe I was
overlooked for Most Fashionable!
Well, Marisa, people can't see
how well you dress in school
if you're never in school.
Think about this... if you
don't get your grades up,
maybe you could win Most
Fashionable next year.
KC, come on, this is really serious.
I need this on my transcript
if I want to get into the
Fashion Institute of Technology.
Being Most Fashionable is like being
the president of the Smarty
Club for Smarty People.
Oh, look, look. There
is Amy-What's-Her-Face.
She's the editor of the yearbook.
I'm gonna go give her
a piece of my mind.
Marisa, or you know, you could just
step up your fashion game
and show her what you got.
And it wouldn't hurt to
learn her name. It's Bishop.
No, I'm pretty sure it's Amy.
Yes. Amy Bishop.
(Watch rings)
Aw, great. Code Red
meeting at The Organization.
As much as I'd love to
continue this conversation,
I gotta go. Something
bad must be happening.
It's really weird, 'cause you
always get Code Red meetings
when I'm complaining about something.
Yeah, but this time I
really have... I gotta go.
♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪
♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪
♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep they head so cool ♪
♪ I'll always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪
♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪
♪ I'm not perfect ♪
♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪
♪ But I, I, I, I
keep it undercover ♪
♪ Livin' my life, on red alert ♪
♪ Doin' my thing,
gonna make it work ♪
♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪
♪ But I always got your back ♪
♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪
♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪
♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪
♪ It's all part of the plan ♪
I keep it undercover.
I keep it undercover.
All right, folks, this is a big one.
We just got intel that enemy agents
are hiding right here
in the DC Metro area
pretending to be ordinary citizens.
That is despicable...
except for when we do it.
Actually, when you do it, it's
just comically incompetent.
Judy, if you're not
gonna take this seriously,
then you don't need to be here.
- Later, y'all!
- Sit down!
So close!
As I was saying, these
agents are running
a covert weapons distribution center.
They supply laser g*ns to
enemy agencies worldwide.
We need to shut them
down before The Alternate
gets their hands on these laser g*ns.
Right, they're still a thr*at,
and the last thing we need
is for them to have a deep arsenal.
All right, good talk.
Let's go get 'em, people!
Slow down, chicken legs!
We don't even know
where they're located.
If I were you, I probably
would've gotten that intel
before calling a Code Red meeting,
but, you know, you're
in charge. You do you.
What we do know is that
all these laser g*ns
will generate a substantial
energy signature.
Your scanners should pick
it up when you get close,
so let's get out there
and start looking for it!
Uh, one question.
Yes, Craig, they'll
reimburse us for gas.
I wasn't even gonna ask that!
And snacks!
Okay, then I'm good.
Okay, if anybody finds anything,
report back immediately.
All right, let's go get 'em, people.
Sorry, I had to circle around
five times to find parking!
Hey, uh, where is everyone?
Am I the only agent that takes
these Code Red meetings seriously?
I'm upset, too, Agent
Johnson! They're in for
a stern talking-to when
they finally get here!
Ooh, get here early, get the good chair.
Four hours in this van,
and not a trace of the energy signature.
(Judy) But I am getting a trace of
stale French fries and funky sneakers.
When's the last time
you washed this van,
when Roosevelt was president?
(Mutters)
(Ernie) You know, we haven't
spent this much time together
since our trip to Niagara Falls.
(K.C.) Ha! Yeah, I remember
that. You almost fell in.
(Ernie) I didn't almost
fall in. You pushed me!
You told us he slipped!
He did slip. After I pushed him.
- Stop the van!
- Why?
Because there's an ice cream truck,
and I wanna buy everyone
a Strawberry Shortcake.
- Really?
- No!
We just drove past the energy signature!
But this can't be the right location.
We're on Old Stonehouse Road.
It's practically around
the corner from our house.
Wait a minute, then that would mean...
Enemy agents have been living
in our own neighborhood!
Cross that house off
my trick-or-treat route.
Okay, FYI, if you can
drive to the house,
you're too old to trick or treat.
Marisa: Oh, hey, Amy,
I didn't see you there.
Great outfit, huh?
I didn't know Marisa got the lead
in Joseph and the Amazing
Technicolor Dreamcoat.
(Agent ) Clear!
(Agent ) Clear!
Nobody's here.
It's all clear!
Yeah, and it's spotless!
I need the name of their cleaner.
And their decorator.
I cannot believe this.
What, that we live so
close to enemy agents?
No, this looks exactly
like a vase I made for Dad
in the third grade, but
he told me it got broken.
It did break.
"With all my heart, KC."
Or maybe I sold it for a
quarter at a garage sale.
They overpaid.
Guys, are we sure we
have the right house?
I mean, where are they
storing the weapons?
Did you think they'd be sitting
in a candy dish on the coffee table?
Here's a thought: Look around for 'em!
Here's a thought: Scan the walls!
There's nothing in here.
Or is there?
Take cover!
Ready, agents? Fire!
Get out here!
(Coughing)
Put your hands where we can see them.
Sure.
As soon as we're done eliminating you!
Ah, we've always talked about
redecorating the living room.
Well, no time like the present!
I actually love your pillows.
Thank you so much!
Just try not to get any blood on them.
Yeah, so if you don't
mind dying outside,
that would be great.
All right, you guys are surrounded.
Drop your weapons.
Eat laser fire!
(Both shriek)
I lied. Those pillows are hideous.
That's right, kiss your little
w*apon-running operation goodbye,
because we just shut you down!
That's right! Ha-ha!
Mom, Dad, what's for dinner,
because I am absolutely... aah!
Hands where we can see them.
KC? KC Cooper?
My parents! What have you done to them?!
We have to spell it out for
you? We whupped their butts!
Don't worry, they'll be fine.
KC, would you please
tell me what's going on!
KC? Uh, I think you have me
confused for somebody else.
I'm not KC, I'm, uh,
I'm her cousin Cassandra.
Really? We doing that again?
Oh, yeah, you're KC Cooper.
Okay, yes. Yes, I am KC,
and I know this looks a little weird,
but everything will be just fine.
Just fine? My parents are unconscious,
my... my house is trashed,
and some rando girl from my school
is pointing a w*apon at me,
so you wanna like take a second
and let me know how everything
is gonna be just fine?
It'll be fine because...
Because you're not gonna
remember any of this.
(Spritz)
Oh, all right. So, what are we thinking?
Is Amy working with her parents?
Oh, please. Come on, guys, seriously?
Whoever heard of a teenaged spy?
Okay, I see your point.
But seriously, what's
gonna happen to Amy?
Well, she'll be taken care of.
"Taken care of" like we'll
find her a nice new home,
or "taken care of" like we'll
find her a nice new prison cell?
The first one. Probably.
No, really, guys, what's the plan?
I mean, assuming she's innocent,
what are we gonna do, rip
her away from her parents?
That's kind of cruel.
Honey, that's the job.
They're enemy spies.
Yeah, but who's gonna
take her picture at prom
or who's gonna drive her
to college on the first day?
Will she even be able to go to college?
I don't wanna ruin her life.
She should have the same opportunity
to ruin her life that I have.
KC, relax. We do this
to people all the time.
Yeah, but not people I know.
Oh, now you suddenly
growing a conscience?
You put more people in the
hospital than trichinosis.
Guys, I have know this
girl since eighth grade.
She's not particularly friendly,
but I don't want to ruin
her life if she's innocent.
Well, we're gonna find out how
innocent she is soon enough.
Let's take 'em all to
Headquarters for questioning.
Yep.
Marisa, we need to
talk about your outfit.
Oh, I guess the fashion buzz has begun!
What do you want to
tell me, Ms. Schaffer,
that my outfit is
fabulous, totally unique,
the height of style?
No, that it is totally
inappropriate for school.
You're going to the principal's office.
Well, if I don't win Most Fashionable,
I'm a shoo-in for Most Trips
to the Principal's Office.
Mm-hmm.
Excellent work, Coopers! (Claps)
We have dealt our enemies'
w*apon supply chain a major blow.
Yeah, we managed to
squash one cockroach,
but there's a whole nest
waiting to take its place.
Dad's right.
Why should we just settle
for slowing them down
when we can take 'em out altogether?
If these guys supply laser weapons
to every enemy agency in the world,
then that means they must have
some type of distribution list
with names and addresses.
If we can get our hands
on that list, then...
We could finally end the spy w*r!
I like the way you're thinking.
Okay, hey, son!
Did you find any intel
on the Bishops' computer?
Nope, nothing but homework assignments,
links for a bunch of coupon websites,
and their browsing history
reveals somebody in this house
is really into kitten videos.
Here's one where a kitten
can't stop sneezing.
It's just adorable! Look.
Ahem! We have more important
things to do right now, Ernie.
Ahem, that's right.
We're gonna jot down the
name of those coupon sites.
Nothing wrong with
hunting for some bargains
while you're hunting for clues.
Of course there's
nothing on the computer!
I mean, if you're arming a
worldwide network of secret agents,
you don't store the g*ns
and the distribution
list in the same place.
Well then, Amy's parents will
just have to lead us to it.
Sure, because enemy agents love
helping us with our investigations.
They will if you do it the smart way.
What's on your mind, KC?
Okay, here's what I'm thinking.
We should memory spray
the parents, okay,
then we clean this place up
and make it look exactly
the way it was...
except for the vase.
This will be coming home with us.
Then, while we're cleaning up,
we'll also plant listening devices.
That idea actually sounds pretty cool.
No, that idea actually
sounds pretty stupid.
These people are trained spies, KC.
If they wake up with a foggy memory,
the first thing they'll suspect
is that they've been memory sprayed.
Then they'll scour the
house for listening devices,
they'll know we're on to them,
and they'll disappear
with the weapons supply
and the distribution list,
and we'll be right
back where we started.
Like I said, stupid idea.
Okay, good point, although
you could've made it
without being so mean about it.
Okay, instead of bugging their house,
why don't we send someone in
to win their trust and get that intel?
If we play the long game,
we get the enemy list
and round them up all at once.
Okay. Okay. We're doing this.
Start the cleanup!
We're gonna make this place
look like we were never here.
All right, well, how does this work?
So now at least we memory-sprayed her,
so my cover hasn't been blown.
Amy will have no idea that I'm a spy.
Which we can use to our advantage.
Hey, Dad, seriously,
I am not spying on Amy.
But it makes perfect sense!
You already have a relationship.
Just buddy up to her,
get into her house,
and find that weapons distribution list!
Familiar with the plan, Dad.
Kind of came up with the plan.
Don't understand why I have
to be the one to carry it out.
(Chuckles) Well, who
else is gonna do it?
Ernie? Step one: talk to a girl.
Oops, he blew it already!
KC, this mission is too important
to be trusted to anyone else.
I know, but, look, it's one thing
to fly to Monrovia and pretend to be
an international pop star
or construction worker,
because at the end of
the day I get to go home
and have a regular
life and go to school.
Except now I get to sit
next to the innocent girl
whose life I'm ruining.
Wait, wait, we don't
know Amy is innocent.
We know she's not a spy!
Look, here's what I do know, okay?
She's got a best friend named Susie,
she gets A's in Spanish,
and walks around everywhere
with headphones on.
And what do people say about you?
She has a best friend named
Marisa, she's an A student,
and she couldn't get a
boyfriend to save her life!
Again, could've made your point
without being so mean about it.
Listen, honey, if we can get
that weapons distribution list,
we could take down
every enemy spy network
in the country... maybe even the world!
Countless lives could be saved!
I know, I know, I just don't understand
why Ernie can't be the
one to be close to her.
So, Dad, is it normal if
a girl gives me her number,
and when I try it I find out the number
belongs to a -year-old
widow in Sacramento?
I'll do it.
Well, there's Amy.
All right, codename Domino.
Why Domino?
Because when she falls,
she'll bring the rest down with her.
Reminds me of my codename for you...
Solitaire, 'cause no one
wants to play with you.
All right, so all I gotta
do is go say hi to her
and just let the friendship unfold.
It's not like I haven't
done this before.
Yeah, just say what you said to Marisa.
That seems to have worked out.
Ernie, we were children.
Okay, I don't think
"Circle, circle, dot, dot,
now you got the cootie sh*t,"
is gonna work in this situation.
Hey, ladies!
Do you mind, KC?
We're actually in the
middle of a conversation.
Oh, what are we talking
about? Boys? Homework?
I was just consoling Susie.
Her goldfish d*ed last night.
Oh, I'm so sorry about that.
Well, I mean, if it
makes you feel any better,
goldfish don't really have
the cognitive thinking powers
to recognize a complex relationship,
plus, you know, he dead now!
Was there a point to you coming
over here and interrupting
other than regaling us
with your fish facts?
Uh, yeah, actually, I was thinking
maybe we could hang out sometime,
you know, for old times' sake.
What old times?
We're not friends.
Of course, but like,
what better time to
make old times than now?
Dude, we're graduating in a few months.
If you really wanted to get to know me,
where were you when I first
moved here in the eighth grade
and everybody said I had cooties?
Were you there to give me a cootie sh*t?
No. No, you weren't.
No? I mean, "Circle,
circle, dot, dot..."
Too late!
What was that about?
Better question, what is this about?
It's tight, right?
It's definitely tight,
so tight I'm surprised you can breathe.
No, I can breathe, KC.
It's the yawning and the
sneezing that are the problems.
But that is the price
you pay to be the most...
(Loudly) fashionable person in school!
...which clearly I am!
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go flaunt this outside.
(Snapping) Roger! George!
Uh, vote for me.
Vote for me.
Achoo! Ow! Ow! Ow!
(Scoffs) This is so frustrating.
(Scoffs) I know.
I have worn haute couture outfits
every day to school this week,
and still there is no write-in campaign
to have me win most fashionable!
I mean, where is the
groundswell of support
that this ensemble deserves!
The only thing that ensemble
deserves is a burial at sea.
Look, I'm talking about Amy.
How am I supposed to
become her best friend
when she already has a best friend?
You can't have two best friends!
It literally contradicts
the meaning of "best"!
Well, I mean, I hate to say this,
but you know who'd be
really good at this?
- Brady.
- Brady?
I mean, yeah.
He tricked me into liking him
just to get closer to you,
kind of like how you have to trick Amy
into liking you to get
close to her family.
Yeah, well the only difference
is you didn't know Brady before,
and he didn't really care
who he hurt in the process.
(Sighs) This whole
thing is just so icky!
I mean, icky or not, he
turned me against you.
I mean, we were already in a huge fight,
but he totally took
advantage of the situation.
Okay, so how am I supposed to
get Amy and Susie in a big fight?
Well, I mean, I don't know, I haven't
really had time to think this through,
but off the top of my head
what if, I don't know, you, say,
have Ernie hack into Amy's phone,
go through her texts,
find out her deepest, darkest secret
that only her best friend would know,
spread that secret around school,
and then Amy would have no choice
but to assume Susie spilled the secret,
causing her to call off the friendship,
and then boom, you swoop in.
I cannot believe that
I'm gonna say this,
but that is a really good idea.
Except now, instead of
ruining one life that I know,
I will be ruining two.
So this just went from icky to ickier.
Hey, Amy, look, I don't
care what Susie says,
I do not believe her.
What are you talking about?
Oh! Oh, you don't know?
Yeah, Susie, she's going around school
and she's telling people that the reason
Rick broke up with you
is because you gave him head lice.
(Chuckles)
And then you...
kissed his brother to get even with him.
She said that?
Yeah.
I hate you!
Hey, Amy, are you okay?
No, I'm not okay!
Okay, what's wrong?
You ever have a friend
you thought you could trust
and then you find out
you totally couldn't?
Well, sounds like you could
use someone to talk to.
Hey, um, how about we
go get some fresh air
and you can tell me all about it?
Thanks for being so nice, KC.
Yeah, no problem. Come on.
And also, I mean, if you're up to it,
we can watch those cute
little kitten videos.
I found this one where this
one kid can't stop sneezing.
I love that one!
(Woman) Rob, your name's on TV!