02x04 - #BuyMePizza

[bunniefuu]

Ladies and gentlemen...

Ladies and gentlemen... [chuckles]

Ladies and gentlemen...

Ladies and gentlemen...

- [flesh sears]
- Ow!

[Zoë] Welcome to Degrassi's
th Anniversary Gala.

I'm Zoë Rivas, and I'll be your
host for this evening's showcase,

along with my handsome sidekick...

- [piano music playing]
- [chuckles] Uh, Winston?

I thought we talked
about your little crush.

We can't let it interfere with the show.

Well, I guess you'll just have to kiss
me. You know, diffuse the situation.

- [chuckles]
- Oh, what's that gonna do?

It has to be a real kiss.

[sighs]

And then we kiss for real, the
crowd goes wild, I make a joke

about your terrible
breath, and the show begins!

[laughing]

Uh, next audition up is Esme Song.

Save yourself the trouble.
The part's basically mine.

And you are?

[scoffs]

Zoë Rivas, the girl who
just nailed that audition.

Are you joking?

You looked like you'd
rather walk on a bed of nails

than kiss Winnie the Chu.

All that matters is
that Winston bought it,

which he did.

[scoffs] He's had the hots
for me since, like, forever.

Forever was a long time ago.

[chuckles]

Eyes up here, Zoë.

[chuckles]

I can't really blame
you. They are beautiful.

- Esme, are you ready?
- May the best girl win.

Don't worry. She will.

[theme music playing]

♪ Whatever it takes I know
I can make it through ♪

♪ And if I hold out I know
I can make it through ♪

♪ Be the best, be the best
The best that I can be ♪

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ I know I can make it I
know I can make it through ♪

- Hey.
- Hey.

So, Tristan thought that
for the anniversary gala

I could arrange and perform a new
version of the school song with Peter.

- Like, that mentor guy from your co-op?
- Yeah, he used to go here.

- Uh, so instead of us, your actual band?
- Well, that's what I said,

- but if you hear me out...
- Okay.

What if our band
performed with his band?

Hmm. Two generations of
Degrassi bands. It could be cool.

I guess I could learn to get
along with a couple more people.

- [chuckles]
- Great, because I already told him yes.

- Oh, okay.
- Everyone's gonna go bananas.

[Baaz clears throat] You know,

it takes real courage to dress like you're
actively trying to repel male attention.

- [Jonah scoffs]
- What did you just say to me?

I... I mean, it's commendable that
you let your wardrobe tell everybody,

"I've got extreme damage."

- [Jonah chuckles]
- [Maya gasps]

You've got three seconds before
I remove your face from your head.

- Three...
- You should probably run.

Two...

[Maya and Jonah laughing]

Never too short to be an idiot.

- [Maya laughs] Hmm.
- What?

Well...

you know, the black on black
on black is kind of terrifying.

- "Terrifying"?
- [Maya] Whatever, whatever.

I think it's cool that you don't
care about looking attractive to guys.

And on the plus side, you're
always ready for a funeral.

- [Jonah] Mmm, true.
- [Maya chuckles]

Frankie's not r*cist, she's just white.

- There. No more olives for my boo.
- Mmm.

Mmm.

Swipe. Swipe.

[Tiny] Dude, stop comparing
every girl to Maya.

[Zig] Whoa, here's a familiar face.

- [chuckles] I love that pic of me.
- Why are you on Teendr?

- Uh, because it's fun?
- But you're dating me.

I just use it to flirt with
guys until they buy me pizza.

- Wait, that's actually a thing?
- Uh, yeah.

Guys are dumb. They'll buy
you anything if you ask right.

So another guy bought you this?

How does it feel to have another
dude's pizza in your mouth?

- [spitting]
- [laughing]

This is against the relationship
rules. You gotta delete the app.

Why are you making such
a big deal out of this?

I'm not interested in
other guys, just pizza.

But pizza is never just pizza.

- [scoffs]
- You know what? Enjoy your olives.

[scoffs]

What do you know about this Esme girl?

[sighs] Nothing good. Why?

She was messing with me
at the auditions, I think.

How?

- You believe I want to kiss guys, right?
- Uh, next question.

I only liked Grace because
I thought she liked me back.

So you're suffering from
fatally low self-esteem?

Yeah, being gay is way better than that.

It's time I focused on
non-romance-y things,

like landing this part and
kicking butt at the gala.

- I want to do something I'm good at.
- [cell phone chimes]

And there's Winston's email now.

"Dear Auditionee, we regret
to inform you that..."

I didn't get a callback.

I hear the knitting club
is accepting new members.

Are you okay, Lo? You're not... talking.

When you're dating someone,

should you delete certain apps
because your boyfriend wants you to?

- What? No way.
- Definitely no.

Good. Then I'm keeping Teendr.

- Oh, Teendr? I change my answer.
- Ooh. Me, too.

But I'm not doing anything wrong.

It's a dating app, and
you're already dating someone.

So why do you actually want to keep it?

Can't I just want it
without interior motives?

I think you mean "ulterior" motives.

Yes! You get it! Can this
be a Feminist Club protest?

While I support your right to
choose, even when it comes to apps,

this is a bit more nuanced.

Are you sure you don't just
like it for the flirting?

[Goldi laughs]

I just like knowing that
there are other guys out there.

What? Why?

In case things don't work out, duh.

[Goldi sighs]

Okay, it's your choice,
but I get why Tiny's upset.

- Me, too.
- So now you're on his side?

Maybe I should get relationship
advice from girls who've, you know,

actually been in one.

[scoffs]

Why didn't you give me a
callback? Tell me, I can handle it.

- You weren't that funny?
- Then write better jokes.

Plus, we don't have any
believable on-stage chemistry.

[laughs] That's ridiculous.

You've wanted a piece of
this action since day one.

[scoffs] What?

Maybe forever ago, but...
that's not even a thing anymore.

[exhales]

To host this thing, we need
someone who can make the audience...

fall in love with them. Someone who's...

- magnetic.
- I'm not magnetic?

Not like Esme is.

What did she do that I didn't?

She popped on stage.

She totally sold the
whole sexual tension bit...

and you didn't.

Sorry.

[toilet flushing]

Peter's already taught me
so much at my internship.

Arranging a song with him is
going to be un-freaking-real.

Do you think it's weird that
I'm wearing black all the time?

I don't know. It's your style.

But do you think it pushes people away?

Oh, my God, is there a boy?

No. I just wonder if I'm
missing out on experiences

because people assume things about me.

- Is this about what that dumb guy said?
- And the fact that you and Jonah agreed

that I'm always ready for
a funeral, or whatever.

Oh, I'm sorry, Grace. I didn't mean...

But maybe you're right.

I don't want people
to not talk to me or...

think about me certain ways
just because of how I look.

So there is a boy?

- [sighs angrily]
- Okay, okay.

Well... [sighs]

I mean, clothes definitely send a
message, and to some, yours may say...

"Go away."

But, I mean, you're happy
with who you are, right?

- Right.
- [chuckles]

- I need to ask you something.
- I have a test to cram for.

[chuckles] Wow!

So your reputation is totally accurate.

Show me how you auditioned.

Oh, don't be mad. We did
say, "Let the best girl win."

Just show me.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Degrassians and Degrassiettes,

I'm Esme Song and...

[sighs]

I can't convince you
of my theatrical genius

if you don't look at me.

I thought we talked
about this little crush.

Blah, blah, and then you say...

"You'll just have to kiss me."

Say it.

Uh... then you'll just have to kiss me.

And then you say...

It has to be a real kiss.

And that's when I pull
you in close and then...

[chuckles] Whoa!

If you kissed Winston
like that in the audition,

you would've gotten the part, for sure.

[bell ringing]

I have to go.

[sighs]

Hey, guys.

Whoa! [chuckles]

Come on, Tiny. We've got math.

Hold... Hold on, did you have
a mental breakdown or something?

I... I think what Tiny means
is... [stunned] question mark?

[both chuckling]

- Go to hell.
- Wait, are you seriously mad?

- Look, I'm sorry for laughing, dude.
- Apology not accepted.

Look, I know we haven't
talked much since I...

Cheated on Maya?

Look, if this is the
new you... that's cool.

But the old you was awesome, too.

I'm not mad at you.

I'm mad at me, and I'm
mad that I'm mad about it.

I think you just Inception-ed me.

I've just worked so hard not to let
other people get to me about this stuff.

So... you're mad at yourself for
caring what other people think?

Like...

what if I only push people away,
and one day it's too late, and I...

[sighs]

[exhales]

You always do your own thing,
and that's what I love about you.

Don't change unless it's for yourself.

How can you be such
a huge jerk sometimes,

and say the exact right
thing at other times?

It's my curse. [chuckles]

Does this mean we can still be friends?

Because I, like, totally
miss you. [chuckles]

I mean, if you want.

Yeah, we can be friends again.

[both chuckle]

[gasps] Now if you'll excuse me,
I have to go deal with something.

- Uh-oh, who's the victim?
- No one I can't handle.

I can't believe I kissed her.

- [chuckles] I can.
- This doesn't mean anything.

Anyone can turn anyone on if
they push the right buttons.

[scoffs]

Tell me you haven't been a little bit
curious about what it's like with a girl.

It'll be our secret.

Sorry. Nothing.

[sighs]

So, did you like it, the kiss?

Kissing is kissing. It feels good.

Yeah, especially when you're a lesbian
and you're kissing a pretty girl.

I'm not a lesbian. I don't want to be.

Yeah, as you keep saying. But why not?

Because... [sighs]

I never saw my life like that.

I always pictured a big
wedding and kids and long hair.

What decade are you living in?

You can be gay and
have all those things.

It just seems so hard.

What's so hard about
being honest with yourself?

In my experience, it's much easier.

I don't want to have to be like
you. I just want to be normal.

- [stutters] Okay, I didn't mean...
- [scoffs] Not cool.

Just because you're in the closet
doesn't mean you get to be a h*m*.

Tris, I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't mean...

Just live in the closet
all you want, but...

[sighs] don't put
your self-hatred on me.

[crying] Ow.

[inhales sharply]

Can I see your phone?

- Are we talking?
- You're my girl.

I'm not gonna stop talking to you just
because you might be a little r*cist.

Why don't you have Teendr?

- Because I have a boyfriend.
- And he made you delete it?

No, I did that myself.

- [sighs] Tiny's mad I still have it.
- I gathered.

Look, now that I'm with Jonah, I
can't imagine being with anyone else.

He's kind of the only reason I'm
getting through this whole mess.

But other guys remind me
that there are other options.

- Why do you need other options?
- For when Tiny breaks my heart.

Why do you think he's gonna do that?

Because that's how it
goes. I'm not stupid.

Or maybe he won't.

You just have to take the
leap and see what happens.

That's scary.

Too scary. I'd rather
just get it over with.

I can't do this...

- anymore. Sorry.
- [cell phone chimes]

Wait, isn't that a little rash?

Better than letting myself care and
then getting my heart stomped on.

Three, two, one.

[cell phone vibrates and chimes]

[Tristan over PA] If you're tired of
feeling out of your element in math class,

sign up for peer tutoring.

Applications can be found in
the Academic Advisement Center.

- Did you just dump me over text?
- It's easier this way.

- Easier than what?
- Everything!

- You're unbelievable.
- Believe it!

[sighs]

[Zoë] Hey, have you seen Tristan?

Yeah, he was trying to get his
Zoë Rivas voodoo doll to work.

So you heard. Great.

I need to find him and apologize.

Wait, what did Tristan tell you?

Enough for me to know
it's none of my business.

[scoffs]

I used to care what everyone
thought about me, too.

Especially my dad.

- Then what happened?
- Therapy, a whack of it.

Made me realize that if you care too
much about what other people think,

- you just... end up hurting yourself.
- Tell me about it.

The only people who matter to me now

are the people who
actually like me for me.

Nobody likes me for me.

Well, it's funny you should
mention that, actually.

You know... Winston really likes you.

[scoffs]

He didn't even give me a callback.

I think he figured it'd be
too weird working with you.

Listen, just forget other
people's definitions.

Be the person you want to be.

[Lola] I'm much better
suited for the single life.

- [chuckles]
- Yeah, you do seem happy.

The happiest. I've already
found a replacement for Tiny.

He goes to some school across
the city, so I won't get attached.

Hello, Anton.

- Wow, he sure looks like Tiny.
- No, he doesn't.

- [cell phone vibrating]
- _

"Wanna grab a burger?" Mmm,
not quite what I had in mind.

Can't. At school. Send me...

_

[phone vibrating]

Ew!

"Will you give me a 'pizza'
that booty?" "Ew" seconded.

- Ugh!
- He's definitely not funny like Tiny.

[Lola sighs]

You know that feeling when you feel
like you've made a huge mistake?

In theory.

I'm feeling it.

[Grace] Boo!

You need some serious
personality rehab, you know?

I... I...

You... you're a little puke?
What exactly is your problem?

- I was negging you.
- You were what?

"By insulting a woman you can
undermine her self-confidence.

This will cause her
to seek your approval

and make her more
vulnerable to your advances."

- [both scoffing]
- This book is garbage.

If you want a girl to like you,
talk to her like a human person!

- Is that what's happening right now?
- Seriously? Seriously?

- [Maya] Whoo! [chuckles]
- [Grace chuckles]

I suppose that was your doing?

Uh, yeah, she was awesome.

- [chuckles] Don't ever change.
- Don't worry, I won't.

Can we just talk for one second?
I need to tell you something!

Then text me.

Tiny Bell, I care more
about you than any app!

And to prove it, I'm
deleting Teendr right now.

Now will you talk to me?

[Tiny sighing]

This doesn't change anything.

Yes, it does. I don't
need Teendr anymore.

How do I know you're not just
gonna dump me out of nowhere again?

[sighs] Because that's what I
was afraid of. That you'd dump me.

So Teendr was, what,
your foot out of the door?

Ever since my mom took off... I've
been afraid of people leaving me.

Like, if I put all my eggs in your
basket, what happens to me if you leave?

I just get hurt.

- I wasn't going anywhere.
- Wait, I'm not done.

But then I realized that being
afraid of making a connection was...

making me lose out on all
kinds of amazing stuff.

Like being with you.

So, I'd really like to take back
that stupid breakup text. Please?

I mean... if you want that.

- So what, I'm the second course?
- [Lola] Anton?

You ordered another pizza?

He's the last guy. Haven't
you heard of delivery?

- You Teendr girls are all the same.
- Excuse me?

You should go.

[Anton scoffs]

[Lola chuckles]

- [Anton grunts]
- [Lola gasps]

- Oh, my God!
- [Anton grunting]

[Ms. Grell] Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

What is going on here?

Hey! Get back... [sighs]

To the office. Now!

[Zoë sighs]

- I was hoping I'd find you here.
- Zoë.

Uh, hey. We're kind of done here, and
you can't really crash the callbacks.

[chuckles]

I'm...

sorry I freaked out on you.

Uh... okay.

[Zoë chuckles]

I thought getting involved with
the gala would be a positive outlet.

Miles said you like me.

- I'm gonna have to have a word with him.
- Why?

I mean... [scoffs] why do you like me?

Because you're awesome.

You're smart, funny.
You don't take any crap.

And it doesn't hurt that
you're really, really pretty.

You're basically, like,
the perfect girl and I...

[stammering] What did you do that for?

Because we like each other?

So, are you my... girlfriend now?

Yeah.

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[sighing]

[gasps]

Aw! I'm so sorry you got in
trouble. This is all my fault.

No, it's not. You
didn't sucker punch me.

But what happened? Did
they interrogate you?

I got suspended. Zero
tolerance on fighting.

[gasps] But you were just defending me.

And I'd do it again.

[sighs] Oh.

I'll have to escort you
off the school property now.

Principal Simpson, you can't do this!

Tiny didn't even start
it! He was att*cked!

- I'm sorry, Lola, but rules are rules.
- Then the rules are wrong!

I'll fix this, baby! I
don't know how, but I will.

This show is gonna be epic,
so we need tons of rehearsals.

Winston, I was looking for you.

Uh, Esme, I was about to email you.

Pardon, we're busy scheduling
our emcee rehearsals.

What? The two of you?

I managed to convince Winston that
I was right for the part after all.

Thanks for the suggestion. [chuckles]

I'm sure you'll do great.

[Esme sighs]

[sighs] She'll recover.

Crap. Uh, I forgot my script.

I have to go grab it
from my locker. One sec.

Before you say anything, I'm
sorry about what I said earlier.

Sure, whatevs, apology accepted.

Winston? Winston who's
a boy, not a girl?

I'm not about labels.

I'm going to be the
person that I want to be.

And the person you want to
be is... Mrs. Winston Chu?

He likes the best version of me, and
that's what's going to make me happy.

[Winston laughs] Okay,
I just had a brainwave.

How do you guys feel about Degrassi
Cheerleaders: A Retrospective?

That sounds awesome. I love it.

And it'll totally complement the
whole Degrassi school dance theme.

- It's gonna be so bad.
- [Winston] All right.

[Tristan] Oh, we're planning
on having, like, Degrassi...

[emotional music playing]