♪ What would you do
if I sang out of tune? ♪
♪ Would you stand up
and walk out on me? ♪
♪ Lend me your ears,
and I'll sing you a song ♪
♪ I will try not to
sing out of key, yeah ♪
♪ Oh, baby, I get by ♪
- ♪ by with a little help
from my friends ♪
-♪ All I need is my buddies ♪
-♪ High with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ♪ - ♪
try with a little help from my friends ♪
- ♪ Whoa-oa-oa-oa, yeah ♪
- ♪ ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
-♪ There's something
happening here ♪
♪ What it is ain't
exactly clear ♪
♪ There's a man with
a g*n over there ♪
♪ Telling me I got to beware ♪
♪ I think it's time
we stop, children ♪
♪ What's that sound? ♪
♪ Everybody, look
what's going down ♪
-We live in confusing times...
Times of change...
And of disagreement.
There are those who will say
that brian cooper was a man
Who died defending his country.
And there are those who will say
That he was a child
who died in vain.
-Brian cooper was the
first person I ever knew
Who wasn't old who died.
I guess we all have that
moment where we realize
That even somebody
who's basically a kid
Can cease to exist,
And we're never
the same after that.
-We must have faith that none
of god's children die in vain.
-But it wasn't just brian's
death that had changed me.
It was also brian's sister.
I hadn't seen winnie since the
night we kissed in the woods,
But I hadn't been able to
think about anything else.
-But through all the change,
There is one thing that
remains constant and eternal
And can never die,
And that is the human soul.
-Oh, no! The jell-o
salad isn't set!
Here, kevin.
You take the ham.
-Like women all over america,
My mother confronted
tragedy and death
With cold ham and jell-o salad.
-The little marshmallows
are just swimming in there.
-Come on, norma. Let's just go.
-Let me put some ice cubes in.
It'll take five minutes.
-You got the ham.
You don't need to
bring the jell-o, too.
-Five minutes... Just
give me five minutes.
-The rest of us had other
ways of dealing with our grief.
But i, for one, was a wreck.
I would think about brian,
And I'd feel almost
sick to my stomach.
Then I would think about winnie,
And a thrill would pass
through my 12-year-old body
Like the wind through the trees.
Life's two greatest
forces, love and death,
Were tearing me apart...
At the waist.
-Come on, mom! Let's go!
-Here I was at brian's funeral,
And winnie was
nowhere to be seen.
I felt sort of weird, though.
I mean, what was I
gonna do if I saw her...
Ask her to dance?
-Kevin, take this
plate of food over
And try and get
winnie to eat something.
She really needs her old
friends right now. Go on.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Hi.
My mom wanted me
to give this to you.
-Thanks.
I'm not really that hungry.
-Yeah, you should eat, though...
Something.
-What was she thinking?
What was I thinking?
I was so confused.
She was so close, i-i
wanted to grab her,
Take her in my arms,
Feel her 72-pound
body next to mine.
-Try the ham.
-Okay.
-Oh, god, I was an animal.
Watching her eat the ham,
I felt, "how could I be
having these feelings?"
Did it show? Could
people see through me?
What would brian think?
-So!
You're at my funeral,
and all you can think about
Is jumpin' my little sister.
-Of course, he would
think I was scum.
You're a man after my own heart.
-Wait a minute. That's right.
Brian wasn't like that.
-But, kev, kev, kev, not now.
Just give her a little time.
-The female reproductive system.
-Among the many great
historical milestones of 1968,
Perhaps the greatest
was the advent
Of sex education in the schools.
-Now, if I hear any giggling,
If I see any smirking,
this class is over.
Do you read me, people?
Over.
Now...
The female reproductive
organs look like this.
-All right!
-Unfortunately, it looked
more like a cow's head to me.
-Now...
Who can tell me what these are?
Yes?
-The ears?
-Apparently, I wasn't alone.
-The...
Ovaries.
The ears would be...
Up here.
-Uh, wh-why don't you
draw the whole lady
S-so we know where
everything goes?
- Yeah, the whole lady.
- Yeah, the whole lady.
-All right.
-My gosh.
I can't believe
he's gonna draw it.
-Suddenly, it became very clear
Why mr. Cutlip had
never been married.
Any man who saw women that
way would have no reason to.
-Now...
The ovaries, of course,
are the site of ovulation.
-As mr. Cutlip went on,
One fact became
increasingly evident.
Sex, in the hands
of public educators,
Is not a pretty thing.
-"Ova" is actually
plural of "ovum."
Of approximately 28 days.
And that, in a nutshell,
is the story of ovulation.
Questions?
Yes.
-When do we start football?
-All right, I'm going to hand
out your textbooks now...
"Health and human sexuality."
-Textbooks?!
-For wednesday, people,
You will read chapters 1 and 2.
Do not read ahead.
Repeat...
Do not... Read... Ahead.
-Chapter 14... The human
reproductive cycle.
-Let me see it. Hey! Come on!
-Telling us not to read ahead
Was like telling
a pack of wolves
To stay away from red meat.
-What's the matter,
arnold? You horny?
-Yeah, I think arnold's horny!
-Yeah, I think arnold's horny!
- Uh-oh, arnold.
- Shut up, you guys.
- Oh, my god!
- Wow!
- Whoa!
- Oh, my god!
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Whatcha doing?
-Nothing.
-Oh.
-When are you coming
back to school?
-Monday.
-Oh.
-But maybe we could
do something tomorrow.
I mean, if you want.
-Yeah. I mean, sure.
If you want.
-Well, I'm going to my
uncle's in the morning,
But I'll be back around 3:00.
-Come on, kev! Let's go!
-Okay, well, bye.
See you tomorrow.
-Okay, bye.
-Bye.
-♪ Young girl ♪
♪ Get out of my mind ♪
-"And thusly, a woman's
anatomical construction
Is fantastically adaptive
to the needs of a..."
What's that word?
- "Burgeoning."
-"...to the needs of a...
Burgeoning human life."
This stuff's not that good.
-Well, we could
look up "burgeoning."
-But we had already
looked up "prenatal"
And "amniotic fluid,"
And it was clear we were
barking up the wrong tree.
-Oh, working on your
sex education, I see.
I'm not sure you boys
are old enough for this.
-Give it back, wayne.
-Let's see.
Huh.
Pretty hot stuff.
You know, I bet the
guys who wrote this book
Have never even
been to second base.
-Well, what's that
supposed to mean?
-You don't know
what second base is?
-Of course we know
what second base is.
Sort of.
-♪ You're much too young, girl ♪
-All right...
-And with an air of
confident authority
That only an idiot or an
older brother can have,
Wayne proceeded to
elaborate a baseball metaphor
That changed the way we
looked at women... And baseball...
Forever.
-And I'm telling you,
Everybody gets to
at least second base
By the 7th grade.
-This was a lot of pressure,
Especially since most
of the girls we knew
Had no second bases.
-Look, I'll tell you what
you guys should do.
You should get a real book.
-A real book?
-Yeah, you should get
"Everything you always wanted to
know about sex but were afraid to ask."
-There's a book called that?
-Well, sure, it
was a bestseller.
Just go to a bookstore.
-Well...
Have you read it?
No. I don't have to.
The great ones go on instinct.
-Uh... Uh, yeah. Yeah, instinct.
- Instinct.
- I go on instinct, too.
- I go on instinct, too.
- Yeah.
-Instinctively, we
went to the bookstore
First thing the next morning.
-Holy mackerel!
You idiot!
-What? That was
it. Didn't you see it?
-Of course I saw it,
But you can't just
run in and grab one.
-Why not?
-Why not?
Because he'll think we're
perverts. That's why not.
-Well, what do you want to do?
-We got to look around,
get some other stuff...
Clean stuff.
Ah, here. This looks good.
- "Ivanhoe"?
-Here. Let's get one of
these "w*r and peaces," too.
-Okay.
-Right. Now we get the sex book.
All right, now put
it on the bottom,
And the guy will never
even notice what it is.
Maybe.
It's a lady!
Forget it. We got to
go. Let's put these back.
-No.
-I'd known paul since
he was 36 hours old,
And never before had I seen
that kind of fire in his eyes.
-Buy those books and act casual.
-What, are you crazy?!
-This was going too far. I
was a pervert, not a felon.
-Kevin, it's "everything you always
wanted to know about sex"... Everything.
-I'd like to buy these.
-It's pretty advanced
reading for a boy your age.
-Thanks.
-Okay.
It'll be $7.95.
-Thanks. Bye!
-Hey, there's $20 here!
-It was about 2 miles from
the bookstore to my house.
We made it in just
under four seconds.
-Come on. Take it out!
-Kevin! Lunch!
-Oh, no!
-Uh, maybe I should stay
here... To watch the book.
-Paul!
-Kevin, slow down. You're
gonna make yourself sick.
-You done yet?
-Paul!
You just left.
You couldn't possibly
have gone all the way home.
-I couldn't?
-Mom, can I be excused?
-No, you may not be excused.
Now, just sit down
and finish your lunch.
Don't forget... It's your
day to do the dishes.
-We had about 50 dishes.
We did them in just
under four seconds.
-It's gone!
-It's gone.
-Oh, my god!
My parents!
No, wait... We'd stolen it.
Of course... The pretty lady.
The police!
-Hmm!
-Wayne.
Oh, looking for this?
- Give me that, you jerk!
- I don't know.
I think I'm gonna have to
preview this for you boys.
-I thought you
didn't need it, wayne.
-Yeah, give it back! We got it!
-Oh, now, I bet
you'd like to try this
With your little
girlfriend, "win-nay."
-Shut up, wayne.
-Or this! No, wait a minute.
I think winnie kind
of might like this one.
-Shut up, wayne!
-How far are you
gonna go with her, kev?
Gonna try for a
home run, pal, huh?
-Now, wait a minute.
Now, wait a minute.
N-now, this one
looks like a lot of fun.
Why don't I read it to you?
- It's hard to know
just how it happened...
- Stupid!
I'm gonna k*ll you, you idiot!
- But suddenly,
at that moment,
With an intensity that
no one in that room...
- Oh, god! I'm gonna
smash your face!
It's gonna be uglier than even now!
- Had previously thought possible,
12 1/2 Years
of pent-up, impotent rage...
- Oh, I'm gonna k*ll you!
- Became potent.
- Sort of.
- Ugh!
-Wayne still outweighed
me by a good 30 pounds.
-What's the matter with you?!
Ow! Ohh!
- Come here, you...
-What is going on in here?!
Oh, my god.
Um, paul, I think you
better go home now.
-Well, you got to give
paul credit for trying.
-What are you boys
doing with this book?
-Don't ask me. Kevin got it.
-Kevin?
Is that true?
Yes.
-Wayne, go outside.
-Kids. I know.
-Kevin!
-I am so disappointed in you!
-At that moment, I felt like
the lowest thing on earth.
I was a pervert,
a thief, a sneak.
I'd always been her
sweet, innocent little boy,
But at that moment,
My mother couldn't even
bear to look me in the eye.
-It's not so much...
Your reading this book...
But what were you doing in
my dresser drawers, anyway?!
-I guess my mother figured
out her mistake pretty quickly,
Because I never heard
from either of my parents
On that topic again.
We seemed to have a
tacit understanding
That they wouldn't
mention my book
If I wouldn't mention theirs.
When winnie got
back from her uncle's,
We went for a walk in the park.
Neither of us said a
word about it, of course,
But we both knew that the park
was where you went to make out.
As we approached
the baseball field,
I started to sweat.
Nearing first base...
Second base...
Third.
-Let's cut across the outfield.
-Okay.
-I didn't know what to do.
Our first kiss had
happened so naturally,
I couldn't even
remember how I did it.
Did i... Did I breathe through
my mouth or my nose?
Well, I had to make
some kind of move.
-There was a bug on you.
-Oh.
Thanks.
-Some move.
Well, there was no
turning back now.
We were here.
-So...
Wh-what do you want to do?
-I don't know. What
do you want to do?
-I-i don't know. What
do you want to do?
-I don't know.
-♪ If you want ♪
♪ Something to play with ♪
♪ Go and find yourself a toy ♪
♪ 'Cause, baby, my
time is too expensive ♪
♪ And I'm not a little boy ♪
♪ No, oh ♪
-The moment stretched
out so unbearably,
I thought we'd both explode.
It was clear we
were both stalling.
-♪ You are serious, girl ♪
-We knew what we
were here to do.
We both wanted it.
One of us just had
to come out and say it.
-♪ You know, life is too short ♪
-Do you want to
go on the swings?
-♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
-Yeah, sure.
-♪ You may be here today ♪
-And in the end,
That's as far as winnie
and I went that day.
Maybe we both felt we'd
already come too far too fast.
Maybe we both realized
That growing up doesn't have
to be so much a straight line
As a series of
advances and retreats.
Maybe we just
felt like swinging.
But whatever it was,
Winnie and I made an
unspoken pact that day
To stay kids for a
little while longer.
-♪ Tell it like it is ♪
♪ Don't be ashamed ♪
♪ Let your conscience
be your guide ♪
♪ But i... ♪