05x13 - Bon Voyage

[bunniefuu]

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)

ANNOUNCER: And now, "I Love Lucy."

(applause)

(crowd chattering excitedly)

Shall we say good-bye from here?

Huh?

What did you say, Mother?

Shall we say good-bye from here?

No! Come on. You can come on the
boat.

Sure.

WOMAN: Oh, bye!





ETHEL: Good-bye!

(crowd murmuring)

This is ours, right?

Oh, honey, look at the beautiful
stateroom!

RICKY: Hey, how about this, huh?

Look at the things everybody sent us.

Yeah.

Oh, look at this extravaganza.

"Bon voyage from Billy, Danny and
little Jerry Asher."

Ha, ha! Isn't that nice?

Oh, gosh. What a boat this is!

It has a ballroom, a theater, some
shops and even elevators!

I know. Isn't it great?

It's just like a big hotel





floating along on the waves.

Oh, that reminds me, Lucy.

I brought the bottle of...
of seasick pills you wanted.

Oh, thank you, Mother.

RICKY: Oh...

You won't need those.

Well, I know, but my stomach will
rest easier

if my mind knows they're here.

Uh, Mrs. Ricardo?

Yes, dear?

I wonder if you'd do me a little
favor

while you're in Paris.

Well, of course, I will, Mrs.
Trumbull. What is it?

Will you buy me a bottle of French
perfume?

You know I will, but it'll be a
present from us.

Oh, no.

(chuckling)

(whispering)

My Sin?!

Oh...

(laughing)

Now, Lucy, I want you to just enjoy
yourself

and don't worry about a thing.

Oh, I can't see Lucy not worrying
about the baby.

Well, I'll relax if you promise to
cable me if he even sneezes.

What are you gonna do, cable back
"gesundheit"?

Well, I just want to know, that's
all.

Oh, we have a phone!

You can call me every day.

Oh, I can't call you when you're at
sea.

Oh, yes, you can, but it's pretty
expensive.

Well, make it station-to-station.

That way, it'll be cheaper.

And I know I'm... I'm always gonna be
home.

What's the number?

There's no number, Mother.

You call the marine operator and ask
for the Constitution.

But let me put it this way: Don't
call us, we'll call you.

Well, maybe not for just a sneeze,

but anything important, huh, Mom?

Okay, okay.

MAN: All ashore that's going ashore.

Oh, dear.
Uh-oh.

Let me kiss him good-bye.
Come on, son.

Give us a kiss good-bye, honey.

Good-bye?
Good-bye?

Where's everybody going?

Huh?
Where's everybody going?

Well, the man says all ashore who's
going ashore.

Oh, they start that long before you
have to get off.

Oh. Honey, he said they start that

long before they have to get off.

Oh, well, good, that'll give me

a few more minutes with the baby,
then.

Say, how do you like your stateroom?

Oh, it's just gorgeous!

It's just right down the hall.

Band manager reporting, sir.

All members present and accounted
for.

At ease, Mr. Manayer.

Ah, did you hear that, honey?

Your papa has a band "manayer."

(laughing)

For heaven's sake, Ethel, can't you
wait?

You've been spoiling the looks of the
basket.

Oh, I can't help it.

This sea air makes me hungry.

We haven't even left the dock.

(muffled): Well, we haven't even left
the dock.

Wait till she finds out the food's
free.

Could be the biggest bundle Britain's
ever seen.

MAN: All ashore that's going ashore.

Uh-oh, I think this is it, honey.

We'd better go.

We'd better go now.

Oh, come on, dear...

All right.

Good-bye, son.

Good-bye. Aw, I hate to see him go.

It's all right, honey.

Aw, good-bye.

Honey, we can say good-bye from the
deck.

We can wave from the deck.

We'll wave good-bye from the deck.

All right, we'll wave from the deck.

Oh, good-bye, Mrs. Trumbull!

All right, good-bye, Little Ricky!

Good-bye, honey!

Good-bye, sweetheart!

Good-bye, honey!

Hey, who are you waving at?

That tall blonde down there.

You don't know her.

Well, I can dream, can't I?

Bye!

Oh, Fred!

LUCY: Good-bye!

Bye, Mrs. Trumbull!

Now, that's more your speed.

Good-bye!

Bye, son!

Well, honey, your dream's come true.

You're going to Europe.

How about that, eh?

It's wonderful.

Well, Mr. Ricardo...
Yes.

the purser would like to check your
schedule.

It'll only take just a moment.

All right. Fred, will you come with
me?

Okay, Rick.
See you in a minute, honey.

Oh, Lucy, isn't this great?

What's the matter, honey?

I miss the baby.

Oh... now, it's not gonna be for very
long.

I just gotta give him one more kiss.

Lucy, you'd better hurry,

'cause we're gonna take off in just a
few minutes.

Hurry, hon!

MRS. McGILLICUDDY: Bye! Good-bye!

What were you saying?

I can't hear a word you're...

(indistinct chatter)

Now, you make sure...

Bye! Good-bye!

What are you saying?

Lucy's coming down there.

She wanted to kiss the baby.

(steamship horn blaring)

Can't you hear me?

What?!

She... What?
She's coming down there!

MRS. McGILLICUDDY: Where's Lucy?

(indistinct chatter)

Bye-bye!

LUCY: How much time do we have?

MAN: About two minutes.

MRS. McGILLICUDDY: I don't know what
you're saying

and I know you can't hear me.

Mother...
Mother...

let me give the baby a kiss.

What are you doing down here?

Oh, I just had to give him one more
hug.

Now, stop being silly, you'll miss
The boat.

Oh, you don't know what it's like to
be a mother, Mother.

Sweetheart, that's my good little
baby.

Now, you be a good little angel

and I'll bring you lots of things
from Europe, honey.

I'm not worrying about him, dear.

I just had to give him one more hug,
that's all.

Give me a kiss, sweetheart.

Give me a kiss.
Oh! Oh!

Sorry, lady.

Oh, my skirt is caught.

(horn blaring)

Oh, now hurry up!

Hold the boat!

Oh! Oh!

Get that thing off of here.

The stand!

Oh, for heaven's sake!

(horn blaring)
Oh, come on now.

Hold the boat!

Hold the...

LUCY: Hurry up!
Come on!

Oh, somebody help!

Lucy, hurry up!

Come on, honey!

(horn blaring)

Hurry up!

I can't get it unhooked.

You're getting grease all over my
skirt, for heaven's sake.

That's my girlfriend, Lucy.

She's supposed to be on this boat.

She's stuck in that bike.

Lucy! Oh...

Good-bye!

Good-bye, Little Ricky!
Bye!

Good-bye, Mrs. Trumbull!

Bye, Mother!

Bye, Lucy!

Lucy?!

Lucy, what are you doing there?!

Rick, what are you doing?

What's she doing down there?!

Wait a minute...

(horn blaring)

Somebody hold the boat!

Can't you get that thing off of here?

It's no use.
I can't get it unhooked.

Come on now, really try.

(horn blaring)

Hey, wait a minute!

Where do you think you're going?

I've got to get on this boat.

Not with my bike, you don't.

Oh, after all, this is just a
bicycle,

for heaven's sake.
I can't miss the boat.

This bike is more important to me
than that boat.

(horn blaring)
Oh...

Stop the boat!

Oh! Have you got a knife?

No, but here's a pencil.

I don't want to write a letter!

Hold the boat!!

Here.

Bye! Bye!

Lucy! Come on, Lucy!

Lucy! Come on, honey!

Come on and what?

Jump!
Jump?

Yeah, honey.

Will you catch me?

Yeah, I'll catch you, honey.

I'll... I'll count to three.

One, two...

Look out, we're moving!
Oh!

We're moving, honey!

Ricky! Ricky!

Yeah, honey?
Do something!

I'll do something.

Turn the boat around.

Ricky! Ricky!

Yeah, honey?
Do something!

I'll do something, honey!

Turn the boat around!

Oh, God!

Mother, they sailed without me.

The boat went without me, Mother!

There must be something we can do.

Somebody will think of something,
Lucy.

Officer! Officer! Officer, my wife is
on the docks!

Stop the ship!

Well, now, that's impossible, sir.

But-but look...

Everything's gonna be all right, sir.

She can come out on the pilot boat

and come aboard when the pilot gets
off.

Oh, you can come on the pilot boat!

Wait a minute.
What?

Come out on the pilot boat, honey!

On the pilot...
She can't hear me.

You can telephone the dock agent.
He'll page her.

Oh, okay.

Ricky's gonna call somebody to help
you!

Oh...
Oh, these things happen.

Hello? Operator? Operator?

Hagame favor de darme aqui el dock...

Me haga favor-- de darme el dock y
que...

Oh...

Give me the dock agent, please.

(phone ringing)

Dock agent speaking.

Say, Doc, will you...?

Will you please page Mrs. Ricky
Ricardo, please?

Yes, sir. One moment, please.

Mrs. Ricky Ricardo, please report to
the dock agent's desk.

Mrs. Ricky Ricardo, please report to
the dock agent's desk.

I'm Mrs. Ricky Ricardo.

It's for you.

Oh, thank you.
Hello?

Honey, this is Ricky!

Oh, Ricky...

Now, honey, get-get ahold of
yourself.

I missed the boat.

I'm not gonna be able to go to Europe
at all.

Now, honey, listen to me.

Ricky...
Lis...

Oh, Ricky...
Honey, you can...

Honey, you can come out on the pilot
boat.

I can come out on what?

(shouting): You can come out on the
pilot boat!

The pilot boat?

Yes.
Well, where do I get it?

Ask the dock agent.

Oh, okay.

And hurry!

Yeah, honey.

Where can I get the-the pilot boat

for the Constitution?

You get down to the end of the pier,
turn right,

and then after about 30 yards down,

you'll see a ramp that leads down to
a lower level.

On the lower level, you'll see a
little pier

that has two boats tied to it.

Yeah.
Those are the pilot boats.

Oh, uh, uh, the end of the pier, uh,
lower level, two boats.

You'd better hurry.

Yeah.
They'll be leaving right away.

Pardon me, mister.

Mrs. Ricardo, what happened?

Have you got a pilot boat that goes
to the pilot boat?

You didn't miss it?

Oh, didn't I?

Well, what happened?

Well, I'll tell you.

You may not believe it, but I'll tell
you.

I went down to the end of the pier.

I ran 30 yards to the right.

I ran down the ramp to the lower
level.

I saw the little pier with the two
little boats tied to it,

and one of them was on its way.

So, I raced to the end of the pier

and I made a flying leap across

and landed ker-plunk on the deck.

Well, then what are you doing here?

That boat was on the way in!

No. What about the other boat?

By the time I noticed my mistake, it
was gone.

What do I do now?

The Independence is leaving in a
couple days. Maybe you can...

I want to go on the Constitution

so I can be with my husband, so I can
be with my friends,

so I can eat my bon voyage fruit

before it all gets spoiled.

I'm sorry, lady, but...

Wait a minute.
There might be a way.

How? How?

Just a month ago,

we had a passenger miss this same
boat.

He hired a helicopter and flew out to
it.

Oh, that's wonderful! All right,
where do I get one?

Idyllwild Airport.

Oh, boy, a helicopter!

A helicopter?!

("Sailing, Sailing" playing)

You see Lucy yet?

No. Wait till they get a little
closer.

(boat engine roaring)

(engine winding down)

Lucy's... Lucy's not on that boat!

No, she isn't!

Maybe she's in the wheelhouse.

(shouting): RICKY: Ahoy
there! Hey!

(shouting): Hey!

He hears you.

Have you got a woman on that boat?

MAN: What, are you a private
detective or something?

Big joker.

No. My wife, she missed this boat!

She missed this one, too, buddy.

How could Lucy miss that boat, too?!

She's Lucy. Does that answer your
question?

Well, there's one other chance, Mr.
Ricardo.

What's that?

About a month ago,

one of our passengers missed the
boat,

and he hired a helicopter and flew
out.

A helicopter?

I don't know.
I don't like the idea

of Lucy taking a helicopter.

That's too risky.

Yeah, for the helicopter.

Oh, come on now, Ricky.

It's the only way.

Well... where can we get one?

Well, we'll have to call Idlewild
Airport.

Okay. Yeah...
Why don't you come with me.

Oh, Fred, what if Lucy misses the
helicopter?

Well, if I know Lucy,

she'll grease her body and swim after
it.

Yes, madam?

I want to rent a helicopter.

Oh, I'm sorry, our helicopter is
being used right now.

Oh, darn it.
I should have called.

Isn't it a shame?

It was sitting here all morning,

and now it's just taking off on an
emergency call.

Well, I'm an emergency, too.
When will it be back?

Oh, I don't know, ma'am.

It's leaving right now to pick up
some crazy dame

who missed the SS Constitution.

Well, get it back!
Get it back!

But, ma'am...
I'm that crazy dame.

Get it back!

Come back!
Joe, Joe,

radio the copter to come back to the
field immediately.

Oh, for heaven's sake!

Oh, well, don't just stand there!

Do something! Get that plane back
here!

I just did.

I've got to get on that ship.

My husband's on that ship.

My friends are on that ship.

We've planned to go to Europe for...

You just did?

Yes, ma'am.

Oh, thank you! Thank you!

I, uh, beg your pardon, madam, but,
uh, your slip is showing.

Yeah, I know, and I...
I tore it, too

when I jumped for the pilot boat.

You jumped right out of your skirt?

Uh, no. I had to take it off.

I got it caught in a bicycle.

Oh, I see.

Uh, would you allow me to get some...
some coveralls?

Oh, would you?

I'd appreciate it so much. Thank you.

Would you make that a size 12,
please?

Yes.

And maybe in charcoal gray

so it would match what I'm wearing.

Well, this is my first time on a
luxury liner,

and I don't... don't want to look
tacky...

...going aboard.

(helicopter rotor blades whirring)

Have we left yet?

Left?

We're a thousand feet in the air.

Oh... oh!

Relax, Mrs. Ricardo. Relax.

Well, I'll try, but I've never been
up in a helicopter before.

Well, I guess it is a little
different

from those big airliners.

I got news for you:

I've never been in one of those
either.

Now, there's no reason to be
frightened.

Please, Mrs. Ricardo, try to relax
and enjoy it.

Yeah, I'll...
I'll try to relax,

but I don't think I'm gonna enjoy it.

(screams)

Where's the door?!

The door's gone!

Well, we took it off,

so it would be easier for you to get
out.

Right now I'm just concerned with
staying in.

Well, Mrs. Ricardo, just settle back

and take a look at the view.

Gee, all you can see is water.

That's right.

Except for that cigar someone threw
away.

Mrs. Ricardo, that cigar is your
ship.

That dainty little thing?

It's the SS Constitution.

Gee, the water must have shrunk it.

Well, it will get a little bigger

as we get down closer to it.

Oh.

Pretty good-size cigar, isn't it?

Yeah. Now it's beginning to look like
a ship

with little ants running all over it.

You'd better start getting ready.

Oh. Okay.

How do I look?

No, no, no.
I mean your harness.

Is it on tight?

You mean my safety belt?

Oh, that isn't a safety belt.

That's a harness.

A harness? What do I need a harness
for?

When we land, I just step out, don't
I?

We're not allowed to land.

Not allowed to land?!

No.

You mean we can't land on that deck?

No, it's against the rules.

I hover over the boat and lower you

down on a cable.

You hover over where and lower who on
a what?

Now, Mrs. Ricardo, it's done all the
time.

Not to me, it isn't.

You turn this eggbeater around

and go back to the airport.

Well, I-I can assure you it's
perfectly safe.

It's up to you.

You want to get down to that boat,

this is the only way to do it.

You hover over the-the ship

and-and-and lower me on-on something,
and then...

Either that or back to the airport.

Well...

Now fasten that hook to your belt.

What hook?

That hook right out there.

That one?
Yeah.

I can't reach it.

Wait a minute.
I'll release it for you.

There.

You got it?

Yeah.

Don't push!

I'm not ready yet!

I was trying to tell you to throw
your legs

over the side and jump out, and I
gradually lower...

I jump out?!

Yeah.

Now sit down on the edge

put your feet over and jump out.

I can't do it.
I can't do it.

Yes, you can.

No. Are you sure this cable's strong
enough?

Yes, of course.

Well, all right.

I can't do it!

You're going to have to give me a
push.

Okay. I'll count to three.

Okay.

One...

two...

Wait a minute! I got an idea.

What?

Have you, by any chance,

got enough gasoline to fly me all the
way to Europe?

No, I'm afraid not.

Well, maybe you can borrow some

from the captain of the boat.

I'll pay for it.

I got a credit card.

Money's no object.

Mrs. Ricardo, this is the only way.

Now, wait a minute.

Think. Maybe you'll get an idea.

Haste makes waste, you know?

Now, come on. We're almost over the
ship.

Now out you go.

One, two, three.

Are you all right?

Huh?

You all set?

Yeah.

Okay. Here we go.

(Lucy screaming)

(screaming excitedly)

Lucy!

Honey, hold on to that rope!

Honey!

Fred, look at her hang off of that
rope.

Come on!

RICKY: Honey, over here!

Come on!

Come on, honey!

You all right, honey?

Whoa!

Come on!

Come on, bring her down!

Honey, are you all right?

Oh. Oh.

I got it.

You get it?

Oh...

Good-bye.

(applause)

Oh, he was the nicest pilot.

He didn't want me to do that,

but I said, "Oh..."

Are you all right?

Oh, sure. I'm fine.

There was nothing to...

Well, I'm here, aren't I?

Oh, the poor thing.

MAN (over P.A.): Mrs. Anderson,
please come to the purser's office.

Will Mrs. Anderson please come to the
purser's office.

Hi.

Oh, hi. Did you see the ship's
newspaper?

No.

They just raved about your new

MGM record of "Forever, Darling."

No kidding.

Yeah. They said it's gonna be

one of the top records of the year.

(chuckling): Well.

Did you bring any records with you?

Yeah.

Well, let's get them to play it on
the public address system.

Oh, no.

Oh, why not?

Well, that wouldn't be right.

Oh, now, I know how modest you are,

but think what a treat it would be
for the passengers.

Oh, honey...

RICKY (over P.A.): Forever, darling

Well, I...
Oh, shh...

While other hearts go wandering

You'll find mine as faithful as can
be

CHORUS: Forever, forever, my darling

I'll be your true love

Forever and forever...

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)

ANNOUNCER: Those seen in tonight's
cast were

Jack Albertson, Kathryn Card,

Ken Christy, Frank Gerstle,

Pat Goldin, Tyler McVey,

Ben Niems and Elizabeth Patterson.

"I Love Lucy" is a Desilu Production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz

will be back next week at the same
time.