♪ What would you do
if I sang out of tune? ♪
♪ Would you stand up
and walk out on me? ♪
♪ Lend me your ears,
and I'll sing you a song ♪
♪ I will try not to
sing out of key, yeah ♪
♪ Oh, baby, I get by ♪
- ♪ by with a little help
from my friends ♪
-♪ All I need is my buddies ♪
-♪ High with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ♪ - ♪
try with a little help from my friends ♪
-♪ Whoa-oa-oa-oa ♪
-♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
-♪ Somebody who
knows quite sure ♪
♪ Baby ♪
-♪ By with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ Said I'm gonna make
it with my friends ♪
-♪ Try with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ Oh, I'm gonna
keep on trying ♪
-♪ High with a little
help from my friends ♪
♪ I'm gonna keep on
trying now, baby ♪
-♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
-Once upon a time
life was simple,
Evolutionarily speaking.
Then...
Things began to change.
The competition got tougher.
There were winners...
And losers.
The struggle continued.
Then in the fall of 1970, a
new creature appeared,
The likes of which had
never been seen before.
[Strauss' "thus spoke zarathustra"
plays] noble, upright, virtuous...
9Th-grade man...
Master of all he surveyed.
Which in this case
was woody's pizza barn,
Where the elite went to meet.
Yep, by the last week of summer,
I was feeling pretty
good about myself.
Life seemed full of promise,
Full of hope,
Full of...
-Patchy dry spots.
I'm getting patchy dry spots.
-Relax, paul.
You're just having
back-to-school jitters.
By tomorrow, you'll be fine.
-Sure.
Only...
What if something goes wrong?
What if I wear the
wrong clothes?
What if I forget...
-Paul!
-I gotta go put
on some ointment.
-Okay, so not everyone
shared my sense of well-being.
That was understandable.
Not everyone had a
steady girl like mine...
Winnie cooper.
So long as we had each
other, we had nothing to fear.
-I'm scared.
-What?
-Well, I am.
-Winnie, stop worrying.
Everybody's gonna like ya.
-That's easy for you to say.
You're not starting
in a new school.
All the strange classrooms.
The strange people.
And you'll be so far away.
You won't forget
about me, will you?
-What?!
-Will you think about me?
-Of course I'll think about you.
-Think about me every
hour, on the hour.
And I'll think about you.
-Winnie...
-Promise? Every hour?
-[Sighs] I promise.
-Sure. I'd promise
her the world.
Why not? I was 9th-grade man.
And I was ready... For anything.
-This is mine.
-Make that almost anything.
-Tony?
-Barbella?
-Welcome back.
-I thought he graduated.
-I graduate every year.
-Oh.
-And this is my locker.
-Great.
Three minutes into the new year,
And the first face I see
Belongs on the wall
at the post office.
Still, I could handle this.
-No. I-i-i don't think so, tony.
See, that's your locker.
Over there.
Remember?
-Oh. Yeah.
-Yeah.
-There. Simple
reasoning. Solid logic.
-So, I guess I got two now, huh?
Lucky me.
-Yeah, but...
-Do you think you
could deal with that?
Because if you can't,
I'm gonna have to
take your thumb
And bend it back to your elbow.
-Seemed tony had
a logic of his own.
-Help yourself.
-After all, no sense letting
one gorilla ruin my whole day.
[School bell rings]
I had places to
go, things to do,
Lockers to find...
People to meet.
-This is my locker.
-Becky! Hi!
-Becky slater...
Once my nemesis,
But now just a good friend.
-I hate you, kevin!
-What? Why?
-As if you didn't know.
- But...
- Don't play dumb with me, kevin.
You introduced us.
-And that answered that.
With just one little question...
-What's she talking about?
-Craig hobson.
Didn't you hear?
He dumped her.
Then he left for
m*llitary school.
[Locker slams]
-This is your fault!
But I don't get mad.
I get even!
-Kind a like having your own
personal welcome wagon
Waiting at the door.
-I pledge allegiance to the flag
Of the united
states of america...
-Okay, so things were
starting off a little bumpy.
I wasn't worried.
I had more important
things to do...
- One nation under god...
- Like think about winnie.
- With liberty and
justice for all.
-Yep, in two minutes,
she'd be thinking about me.
Poor kid, all alone
at a new school.
I can only hope someone
would be nice enough to say...
[Chimes tinkle]
Huh-uh-uh...
Uh-huh-huh...
Huh-unnnnh!
[Pencil rattles]
Gulp!
-Excuse me.
You, uh...
D-dropped this.
And i... Uh,
Um...
Uh, pick... Picked it up.
For you.
-Thank you.
-K-kevin.
[Electricity buzzes]
-Fact... Lead
conducts electricity.
[Buzzing continues]
-I wonder if you could help me.
Is this class on the
other side of the quad?
-Uh...
Y-yeah.
Yeah... Yeah, just...
Down and to the left.
-Thank you.
-You bet.
[School bell rings]
[Indistinct talking]
Darn it!
-Okay, so I dropped the ball.
Just being hospitable.
Winnie would understand.
-I don't understand this!
-Huh?
-My schedule!
Look what they gave me.
Chemistry!
-So, what's wrong with that?
-Are you kidding?
You know what happens
when I get near chemicals.
I'm allergic to soap!
-[Sighs] paul...
-I knew this year was
gonna be a disaster.
Well, what'd you get?
-Uh, let me see.
-I bet you got something neat,
Like astronomy, or physics!
-Sure, something
neat, like, say...
[Power saw buzzing]
industrial arts?
Shop?!
[Hammering]
It was encouraging to
know the board of education
Had such confidence in
my intellectual prowess.
-Hey.
Hey, don't stand
next to that machine.
-What?
Why?
-That baby ate ray
spike's index finger.
It's kind of a shrine.
You're new here, aren't ya?
-Yeah. But it's a mistake.
-[Chuckles] that's
what they all say.
-No. Really.
See, there's been a
mistake on my schedule.
-If it had been a blueprint,
This kid might have
been able to read it.
But since it was in english,
It was pretty obvious
he didn't have a clue.
-Is there a teacher here?
-Ah, yeah, nestor.
But, uh, you don't
want to talk to nestor.
-Of course I did.
After all, he was a teacher,
An employee of the
public-school system.
-Where is he?
-Over there.
-All right! Let's go!
I got it.
[Students cheering]
It's up.
[Grunts]
It's clear!
[Grunts]
[Students cheering]
All right, bulletheads.
Get back to it.
-Uh, mr. Nestor?
-Yo!
-Hi. I'm kevin arnold.
- That so?
- Yeah.
I was wondering if I could
speak to you about my schedule?
-Schedule? Huh?
[Clatter]
- uh...
Yes, sir. About this class?!
-This class? Huh?
-Well, I think possibly
there's been a mistake!
-Mistake?! Huh?!
-Okay. So far, so good...
So far as I could tell.
-Yeah. Well...
The fact is, I'm not very
good in industrial arts!
I think I'd be better
at something like, uh,
Chemistry, or, uh...
-Masha!
Your eyes!
Watch your eyes!
Bullethead.
Oh, where were we?
-Well, as silly as it sounds,
Uh, I think they've
got the wrong arnold.
-Wrong arnold?
Huh?!
-Uh, right.
So...
-Ferber, no, no.
Not the screwdriver. The chisel.
Idiot.
So you want out? Is that it?
-Kinda.
I mean, if that'd be
all right with you.
-Okay.
I'll let you out.
- [Sighs]
- there. Finally!
-There's only one thing, though.
You gotta arm-wrestle me for it.
-Uh-huh.
Things were starting
off with a bang.
And it wasn't even lunch yet.
If misery loves company...
-I tell you, kev, this is great!
- I was hanging out
with the wrong guy.
-Chemistry is such a
fascinating science.
The wonder of water.
The mystery of fire.
-Uh-huh.
Not to mention the
remains of ray spike's finger.
-If fact, even that
seemingly ordinary fish stick
Is in reality a miraculous
latticework of...
-Paul.
-Huh?
-Will you cut it out?
I'm trying to eat here!
-Well, sorry.
-[Sighs]
I need a locker.
-Well, there's got to be
an empty one somewhere.
-I know.
Maybe I could share yours.
-Mine?
-Yeah, sure. Why not?
-Well, i-i guess I can
make some room...
-Great.
- In the back, in the corner.
Exactly how long are
you gonna be staying?
-[Sighs] never mind.
-Come on, kev.
I-it's not so bad.
Things will work out.
-Yeah, that's easy
for you to say.
-Still, maybe paul had a point.
The day was only half over.
Maybe it was just a matter
of seeing the glass half full...
Or half empty.
Or completely empty.
-I hate men.
-Répétez après moi!
Bonjour, la classe!
-Bonjour, madame.
-Bonjour, la classe.
-Bonjour, madame.
-Now, here was
something hopeful.
Shop was foreign to me.
French was simply a
language I didn't understand.
-Bonjour, madame.
-Class, this year we're
going to try something new.
From now on, we're only
going to speak en français.
C'est bien?
[Scattered groans]
All right. Who would
like to go first?
Guillaume.
Comment allez-vous aujourd'hui?
-Frère jacques?
[Laughter]
-[Chuckles]
-Uh-huh. Things were
getting back to normal.
And I wasn't gonna miss
My 1:00 "think about
winnie" promise.
-Mademoiselle.
Dites-moi votre
nom, s'il vous plaît.
-Je m'appelle madeleine.
-C'est excellent, mademoiselle.
-Merci beaucoup.
-[Speaking french]
-[Speaking french]
-And suddenly I understood
Why french was the
language of diplomacy,
Of poetry, of romance, of...
Amore!
Suddenly I understood
every single word.
-[Speaking french]
-[Speaking french]
-Hey, it was the only
thing I knew in french.
-Kevin.
-Madeline.
-Kevin!
[Children snickering]
En français, s'il vous plaît!
[Laughter]
[School bell rings]
-Darn it!
This much was clear...
In any language...
I needed help.
I had to take action,
seek answers.
-Come in.
-Yep, this is what I needed...
A man of wisdom,
a man of vision,
A man...
Who taught gym.
-Ah, arnold.
-Mr. Cutlip?
-What can I do for you?
-I, uh...
I came to see the
guidance counselor.
Is he in?
-Mrs. Dalla betta is the
regular guidance man.
I'm just filling in.
Temporarily.
Till december.
Can it wait?
-W-well... Um...
-Relax, arnold.
Take a load off.
Have a seat.
Right.
I understand your hesitation.
You're thinking, "ed cutlip,
"A cr*ck physical
education instructor.
What's a man of action like
him doing in a... Swivel chair?"
Am I right?
-Well...
-Unusual?
Maybe.
Unexpected?
Certainly.
But think of it
this way, arnold.
There might be more in
this old bean... [Tink, tink]
Than meets the eye.
Maybe I can even help.
-And the way he said
it, for one moment,
I actually wondered
if he could help.
-Peanut?
-No.
No. Thanks.
-Come on, son. What is it?
-[Sighs]
It's 9th grade.
-Ah.
-It's not turning out the
way I thought it would.
I-i don't have a locker,
And my classes
are all wrong and...
-I see.
-You do?
-It's a complex problem,
but there's a simple solution.
-There is?
-Maybe I had him wrong.
Maybe there was more to
ed cutlip than met the eye.
-So, what do we do now?
-Laps!
[Whistle blows]
-Well, think of it this way.
Every cloud has a silver lining.
The way this day was going,
I was probably
better off being alone.
And suddenly I knew
what custer felt like.
Great... Sitting bull herself.
And she was gaining on me.
Instinctively I knew... This
was a challenge, a test...
And I was up to it.
-[Panting]
-Sure, it was dumb,
But at that moment,
all I knew was...
I had to win.
[Girls cheering]
I pulled up even.
I pulled ahead.
[Cheering]
As we rounded that final
turn, I felt like I had wings.
Sure, maybe I
couldn't find a locker.
Maybe I was stuck in shop.
But I was gonna b*at this girl.
I was gonna win this race.
This was gonna be a m*ssacre.
[Strauss' "thus spoke
zarathustra" plays]
Heh heh.
No hard feelings, huh, slates?
-Ugh!
Ugh. Ohh.
[Breathing heavily]
-And that about did it.
The perfect end
to a perfect day.
-Kevin?
[Chimes tinkling]
-Madeline?
-She'd seen the whole thing.
The whole humiliating episode!
-[Groans]
-It was pretty clear she'd
come over to laugh at me.
-I just came over to thank you.
-Huh?
-For being nice to me.
You don't know how hard it
is to be the new girl in school.
[Exhales]
-And then it happened.
Something inside of me snapped.
- Kev?
- Later!
-I'd had enough. I'd
been pushed too far.
And I knew what I had to do.
-Hey! Barbella!
I want my locker back.
Now!
-[Scoffs]
-9Th-grade man...
Noble, upright, virtuous.
I went into my last
year of junior high
Thinking I knew all the answers.
And suddenly all I
had were questions.
Plus a dislocated thumb.
It's funny.
I remembered a time
when I knew who I was.
But that was eight hours ago.
Suddenly I felt on
the outside, looking in.
Looking for...
Winnie.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-How was your day?
-I wanted to tell
her everything,
Every bit of it.
All the setbacks,
all the screw-ups.
-Fine.
-Heck. I knew she'd understand.
-How about yours?
-Okay.
-After all, when you're 14,
You can't always
put words to life.
-♪ Be my baby now ♪
-All I knew was...
I felt home again.
-♪ Be my, be my baby ♪
-♪ Be my little baby ♪
-♪ My one and only baby ♪
-♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪
-♪ Be my, be my baby ♪
-♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪
-You don't know how hard it
is to be the new girl in school.
-♪ Be my, be my baby ♪
-♪ Be my little baby ♪
-♪ My one and only baby ♪
-♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪
-♪ Be my, be my baby ♪
-♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪