♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(WAVES CRASHING DISTANTLY)
Paula?
♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
(WAVES CRASHING)
(DOOR OPENS)
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
Hey.
Hey.
Where were you?
I just walked around. Couldn’t sleep. Probably the K.
f*ck. f*ck! f*ck!
f*ck!
(YELLS)
sh*t!
UNCLE CHARLIE: Your father, Mark, he had sex with men.
He had two lives. He had his family, and then he had another life with h*m*.
-(RACHEL PATTON MOANING)
SHANE PATTON: (GROANS) sh*t.
-(MOANING) Oh, f*ck!
(RACHEL MOANS)
(MOANS, SIGHS)
(BREATHES SHARPLY)
(BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY)
-(SHANE GROANS)
(EXHALES)
(SHANE GROANS)
(BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY)
(PHONE VIBRATES)
(SHANE GROANS)
SHANE: That was amazing.
(SHANE PANTING)
Love you, Rach.
-Love you, too.
(SHOWER RUNNING)
SHANE: I can’t wait to f*ck in Tahiti.
♪ (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(CHICKENS CLUCKING)
(PHONE RINGING)
(SIGHS)
Hey! I love it when you call me. I was just thinking about you.
BELINDA’S SON: About to head off to class here in a minute.
Yeah, I just got to work myself. (CHUCKLES)
BELINDA’S SON: You’re never not at work.
Oh, you think I’m working hard now, wait till I start my own business.
BELINDA’S SON: What are you talking about?
I don’t know. I think I’m getting ahead of myself.
There is, um… There’s this woman, this– this guest, this rich white lady. (CHUCKLES)
She– she took me out to dinner, and she said if I wanted to start my own wellness center, she’d fund the whole thing.
BELINDA’S SON: Mom, you have to do that.
That f*cking place exploits you, Mom.
If that lady says jump, you say how high?
(LAUGHS)
BELINDA’S SON: I’m serious. Work it.
Get your own thing going. You deserve it.
All right. We’ll see. We’ll see.
-BELINDA’S SON: Keep me posted.
I will. I will. I love you.
-I’ll talk to you later. Okay?
BELINDA’S SON: Okay.
-All right. Bye.
(PHONE CALL DISCONNECTS)
Armond.
Armond!
-(YELLS)
(BELINDA GASPS)
ARMOND: Oh…
-Oh…
(BELINDA LAUGHS)
You know I thought you were dead, right?
No, just got here a little early.
Had a cat nap. I’m fine.
-You’re fine?
I’m fine.
(SIGHS, SNIFFS)
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(CAR LOCK BEEPS)
(FURNITURE CLATTERING)
Mom, why are you setting up in here and not your own room?
Because I have a Zoom with China, and I don’t like the background in there.
-When’s the big Zoom?
NICOLE MOSSBACHER: One.
I don’t like it in here either.
This lighting makes me look freakish.
You sure it’s the lighting?
(DOOR SLAMS)
Quinn. Where have you been?
-I slept on the beach.
NICOLE: Why?
Because of them! Because they made me!
-And now all my sh*t is gone.
What sh*t?
My phone, my Nintendo! They got washed away.
My iPad got soaked. It’s f*cking ruined.
And now what the f*ck am I supposed to do?
(OLIVIA MOSSBACHER CHUCKLES)
(DOOR SLAMS)
I didn’t tell him to sleep on the beach.
It was his idea, Nicole.
QUINN MOSSBACHER: They’re lying!
Dad, what’s wrong with you?
Your father got some very upsetting news last night.
-He does have cancer?
NICOLE: No.
He doesn’t have cancer.
He found out something about his father that he never knew before.
I’m listening.
Your grandfather d*ed of AIDS.
How did he get AIDS?
Apparently, Paula, he was having sex with other men.
-Who was?
NICOLE: Your dad’s dad.
Why?
Because he liked it. Why else?
He was probably closeted.
PAULA: Or bisexual.
Dad, why are you so upset, though?
-You’re like catatonic.
NICOLE: Well, it was a secret
that was kept from him his entire life, Liv.
So now, whatever image he had of his father, of his childhood,
has been pulverized.
You know, he was probably a bottom.
That’s how you mostly get it. Receiving.
Dad, do you feel like your father was less of a man or something?
He might have not been gay.
A lot of straight guys like ass-play.
Yeah, maybe he was just too embarrassed to ask Grandma
-to use a dildo on him.
Oh, Jesus!
Can we not, please? Uh…
Even if he wasn’t a top, it doesn’t mean he was femme.
He could’ve still been butch, Dad.
Maybe he was a bossy bottom.
Yeah, maybe Grandpa was a power bottom.
Does that make you feel better?
No. That makes me wanna throw up.
Dad, you don’t wanna say that.
NICOLE: Well, he can say whatever he wants.
You know, if he’s having a negative visceral reaction to his father having gay sex, it’s valid. It’s fine.
Well, it comes off as h*m*.
Well, it’s not.
Well, that’s how it comes across.
Well, luckily, he’s in a safe space and he’s here with our family so he can come off however he wants.
-Up to a point.
Or what? You’ll cancel him?
Dox him? Sic the K-Pop fans on him?
(SCOFFS) See what I have to deal with?
Mom, I need a new phone, stat. I’m gonna go completely insane.
You already are insane.
I’ll order it for you right now.
♪ (“HUKIA MAI A” BY KAPONO BEAMER PLAYING) ♪
So… you were pretty horned up this morning.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
Wake up next to you, what do you expect?
Is it a problem?
Aren’t you horny for me?
-Yeah.
SHANE: Yeah.
Yeah. Just not like every single minute.
Like you are. (CHUCKLES)
Oh.
It’s just not the most important thing to me.
Well, what is?
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Well, is it the most important thing to you?
It’s up there. (LAUGHS)
So the– this entire marriage is just based on sex for you?
No. No.
Hey, all right. Look, there’s other stuff, too.
I love you.
And we’re a team. We get along great.
-Uh…
Yeah.
Oh my God.
You think that I’m like this… sex pig.
-Hey, look.
No.
SHANE: Me?
I can be romantic. I’m actually emo.
And don’t put me in a box.
-Thank you.
Sure.
SHANE: Hey, buddy. Hold on a second.
Hey, if you see Armond,
could you tell him I’d like to talk to him about something?
DILLON: Of course.
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-It’s not about the room.
Oh.
(PHONE RINGING)
TANYA MACQUOID: Hello.
How are you this morning?
(ARMOND CHUCKLES)
I was hoping that you could help me.
I have something really important that I need to do.
I brought my mother’s ashes with me.
You know, so I could spread them in the ocean.
And I just realized yesterday, I’m gonna need a boat.
Oh, we have our resort boat you can charter.
TANYA: Is it free today?
‘Cause I really need to put this behind me.
Would you like to take it out at sunset?
Yeah, that would be nice.
Well, let’s say, uh, departure at 5:00 from the dock?
Can I get some alcohol on the boat?
I just– I think I might need a drink.
Of course. (CHUCKLES) Some fruit and cheese, maybe?
Could you just tell the captain…
that I think I’m gonna be a little emotional?
I just want him to be fully prepared.
Could be, like, a total basket case.
(CHUCKLES) Well, see you at 5:00.
But let’s definitely order the cheese.
-Mm-hmm.
TANYA: Thank you.
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Uh, Christie, could you cover the desk?
-CHRISTIE: Of course.
I just need to get something from the office.
CHRISTIE: Sure. Not a problem.
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(PILLS RATTLING)
-What?
DILLON: Uh, sorry.
I just wanted to tell you that Mr. Patton
from the Palm Suite wants to talk to you.
Are you f*cking kidding me?
What?
He thinks we ruined his honeymoon?
f*ck him! I will ruin his honeymoon.
Well, he’s eating by the pool, so…
I like your hair up like that. Looks cute.
Um, thanks.
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
(GLASS CLINKING)
Can we have the phone sent here?
NICOLE: We’re not here long enough. It’ll be there when we get home.
Then I’m gonna need to use your computer, Mom.
Well, I do have work to do.
Like today, I’ve got Zooms all afternoon.
What the f*ck am I supposed to do all day?
Enjoy Hawaii. Get in the ocean.
The o…
I did see a whale last night on the beach.
That was pretty cool.
NICOLE: Well, you’re not sleeping out there again.
Mom, he likes it. He’s communing with nature.
It’s funny how you’re able to have so much compassion
for all these groups of oppressed peoples
you don’t even know, and yet not for your family.
Yep, okay.
Who actually know you and love you.
Your generation’s only sacred value.
-Biting the hand that feeds you.
OLIVIA: Whatever.
-QUINN: Hey, Dad.
What?
QUINN: You’re not eating anything.
I’m not hungry.
QUINN: That’s your second Bloody Mary.
-MARK: So?
We have scuba after this.
I’ll be fine.
That’s the guy.
Oh, man.
Excuse me, dude.
Aloha, ladies. How are you this morning?
Uh, yesterday I told you about a bag. It’s my friend’s.
Yeah. I left it on the beach. It’s olive green.
I checked with, uh, lost and found in the office,
and I’m so sorry to tell you, it wasn’t there.
But we’ll keep an eye out.
And if it turns up, I will call your room immediately.
I do hope we find it.
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
Aloha, Mr. Ross.
Uh, Lana will take you to table nine. Thanks, Lana.
All right.
SHANE: I’ve been lookin’ for ya.
-Mr. Patton.
Hey.
-How are we this morning?
Yeah, no complaints.
Ah, love to hear that. (CHUCKLES)
Um, listen, I wanna do something special for my wife,
something kinda romantic. It’s our honeymoon.
I’m thinking a candlelit dinner totally off on our own.
Somewhere cool that’s like…
a beach or a cliff or just like…
like an Instagram spot, you know?
-Yes. Yes. How wonderful.
Yeah.
Um… And of course, we do private dinners
for couples all the time,
but since you’re such valued guests,
and with the whole mix-up regarding your room,
I would love to come up with something really unique.
Okay, great. Yeah. That’s– that’s what I’m thinking, too.
What about… a candlelit dinner on our charter boat at sunset?
That sounds perfect.
You can watch the sunset from a private cove.
Oh!
Schools of dolphins leaping and circling the boat
as you cruise the coastline,
-sipping piña coladas…
Nice.
…debating the names of your future offspring.
-I… I don’t know about that.
(ARMOND CHUCKLES)
-Well, that sound like a plan?
Yeah.
Well, see you down at the dock at 5:00.
-Okay, great.
ARMOND: Tonight then.
-Yeah. Thanks.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, one little thing.
Uh, there will be one other guest on the boat.
Really?
Yeah. Very lovely woman, traveling alone,
and because she paid for the boat,
you’ll only have to pay for the dinner.
-Oh, yeah?
It’s a sizable boat.
You won’t even notice she’s there.
She’ll be quiet as a church mouse.
Yeah. All right. Yeah, that sounds fine.
I just…
I just want it to have a romantic vibe.
Absolutely. Oh, your wife is very lucky.
-Thank you for all the help.
Of course.
♪ (DRUM MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
BELINDA: Yes, we can do the total relaxation package
for you, not a problem.
Actually, can I give you a call right back?
-Hey!
Hey.
BELINDA: Thank you again for dinner last night.
Really, I had a great time. And it was cool,
you know, getting to know you more.
Yeah. You know, tonight’s the night
-I put my mother into the sea.
Oh, wow.
TANYA: The boat leaves at 5:00.
I’d really appreciate if you could be there.
(SIGHS) I’m here until 7:00.
Oh, geez. Well, uh…
You know what? I’ll take care of it.
I’m– I’m sure one of the girls will be able to cover for me.
This is important. I wanna be there for you.
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
-Yeah.
And just so you know,
I’m probably gonna be a little drunk,
so don’t judge me, all right?
-No. No, I’d never.
TANYA: Okay.
-Boat leaves at 5:00.
BELINDA: Five o’clock.
-All right.
BELINDA: I’ll see you.
All right.
-QUINN: Dad.
MARK: What?
QUINN: If you don’t feel like doing this now, it’s fine.
Nah. (SIGHS)
It’s just like…
What is real? Like, what… You know? What’s real?
Are you gay?
No.
Hey. ‘Cause if you are, it’s okay.
-Just, like, be real.
I am being real.
What’s real is…
like, gay, straight, whatever, we’re just monkeys,
we’re just f*cking monkeys.
-Yeah?
Yeah. Yeah, we’re just animals.
I mean, you know, we wanna be, like…
superheroes and respectable fathers
and pillars in our communities, whatever,
but– but in fact, we’re just monkeys…
living in our own little monkey pods,
driven by base instincts to create these hierarchies
and hump each other.
I thought I knew my father, you know?
I only knew the part that he wanted me to see.
He hid the monkey, and that screwed me up, Quinn.
-You think that’s what did it?
Yeah, definitely.
Hey, I thought–
My whole life, I thought I was the flawed child of an icon.
Like, I put him on this, like, enormous pedestal.
Meanwhile, like, he’s off in some bathhouse on the DL,
getting manhandled by some…
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) …like, random dudes.
(GROANS, CHUCKLES) Wow.
Oh, I wish I had known.
I’m sorry.
(SIGHING) Yeah.
But I get it. I mean, you know,
you don’t want your kid thinking you’re some sex-crazed lunatic.
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
The room is– is beautiful, and we have this ocean view,
and we face west, so we get these incredible sunsets.
Yeah.
You’d love Hawaii. Everything’s so lush.
Where we are, it isn’t so overdeveloped.
And there’s all of this amazing food and pastries.
Hey.
So, yesterday you were reading Freud and Nietzsche,
and today you’re reading what?
Oh. (CHUCKLES) So you finished Freud and Nietzsche.
Are you actually reading any of these books?
No, they’re just props.
We have a stylist choose our outfits
and then we have a book stylist pick out our books.
(LAUGHS) Yeah. That’s what I figured.
Yeah, it’s really relaxing.
I really wanna bring you and dad here.
Are you gonna get in the water?
Ye– well– you– you do!
I mean, everyone takes vacations.
Okay, so sixty pages, based on how fast you read,
that’ll be like two minutes, and then you can jump in.
(GIRLS LAUGH)
Do you wanna know me?
May– maybe.
Do you?
I don’t know.
Maybe it’s better if I’m just really real with you.
Maybe that’s the healthier legacy.
I think it is. Yeah.
INSTRUCTOR: You guys ready to get your tanks on?
Yeah, let’s do it!
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Hey, if you won’t come to the pool,
the pool is gonna come to you.
-(YELPS)
SHANE: Get in.
Oh, my God! (YELPS)
SHANE: Get in the water, come on!
-OLIVIA: (LAUGHS) Oh my God!
PAULA: You got my book wet.
(GIRLS LAUGHING)
(SHANE LAUGHS)
-SHANE: Tastes a little like pee.
(GIRLS SNICKER)
-PAULA: I think it’s your own.
OLIVIA: It’s your own.
-(LAUGHS)
SHANE: I think I forgot that I peed, yeah.
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
♪ (“HO’OKANI MISIONARI” BY THE ROSE ENSEMBLE PLAYING) ♪
♪ (SINGER SINGING IN HAWAIIAN) ♪
♪ (CHOIR SINGING IN HAWAIIAN) ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(MONKEY SCREECHING)
(BIRDS SINGING)
(ANIMAL CALLS CONTINUE)
♪ (QUIET MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Okay. Thank you.
Sit wherever you like, I’ll be right over.
-Thanks.
Yeah.
♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
Get me the Kahuna with guac. All right?
I’m gonna go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.
Enjoying your time?
-Hi. (CHUCKLES)
Oh, yeah. Hi. Uh, yes.
Yeah. Very much.
Honeymoon, yeah?
-Mm-hmm.
MARK: Oh.
And after this, we go to Tahiti.
Thank you. Oh, that’ll be nice.
Yeah. Where was your honeymoon?
Uh, believe it or not, we went to China.
-Cool.
MARK: Nicole, my wife,
she took Mandarin in college, so she wanted to show off.
(BOTH LAUGH)
It was– it was cool. We went all around.
It was a lot different back then.
-Yeah. China.
Sure.
-MARK: Yeah.
How long ago was that?
Twenty-two years we’ve been married.
Twenty-two? That’s impressive.
MARK: I guess.
I mean, I’ve got friends that, you know,
have been married, divorced, married, divorced, so…
We’re still going. So you never know.
So, what’s your guys’ secret? How do you keep the spark alive?
(LAUGHS) Oh, the spark. No, it’s not alive. It d*ed.
Yeah. I mean, love may be alive, but spark… (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
Sure. That happens.
Yeah.
-(LAUGHING)
And his handstands.
He was totally trying to flash us.
Yeah, but with what?
(LAUGHS) Thumb d*ck.
What the f*ck?
Oh, good. Hi, girls.
Can you just help me move this bed in?
I just– I just need to do it real quick.
Mom, there’s meds for this.
No, it’s just for my Zoom.
I finally found a good background,
-but I can see the bed.
So what?
NICOLE: Well, so I don’t want my entire organization
and my Chinese affiliates
knowing that I’m on f*cking vacation!
Olivia, can you just help me with the bed, please?
-I have five minutes.
OLIVIA: Okay, fine!
Thank you.
Okay. All right, girls, ready? One, two, three.
(ALL GRUNTING)
-OLIVIA: Just lift it!
Push.
(PAULA YELPS)
NICOLE: Oh, oh, yes, yes, yes, yes!
(PAULA GROANS)
-(PANTS) Are you okay, Paula?
PAULA: No.
All right, I’m gonna start my Zoom.
And you guys, if you’re gonna stay in here,
you have to be totally silent.
Okay? And stay out of the frame.
Mom, you look deranged.
It’s all right. I have a filter for that.
Oh, f*ck.
I chased Nicole for three years,
and she wouldn’t let me touch her.
And then when I finally could,
I couldn’t get enough, man. I was…
I had to have it all the time. She thought I was nuts.
She thought that I should see a doctor.
-(CHUCKLES)
She thought I had, uh…
priapism.
Which is like when– Hey, bud.
When you get this perpetual hard-on,
like an erection that you– will not go down.
-Yeah.
MARK: But after a few years,
it doesn’t matter how much role playing you do
or, like, toys you buy
or p*rn you watch together, whatever,
sex just turns into, like, a–
You know like when they do one of those food challenges
on a reality show, you know,
where they gotta, like, eat like a bowl of live worms,
and you just got– you gotta psych yourself up for it.
You’re like, “I can do this. Just hold my nose
and, like, suck it down as fast as I can so I don’t gag.”
-Yeah.
MARK: But it’s natural.
I mean, it’d be weird if it didn’t fade, you know.
Look, I’m just being real with you, you know.
Oh, this is my son, Quinn.
And I’m Mark.
-Right. Hi.
What are you talking about?
Nothing. Sex with your mom.
(CLICKS TONGUE) You know, I actually–
I think I’m gonna order from the room
just ’cause it’s… (EXHALES) It’s so hot here.
I’m feeling hot.
Well, it was nice to talk with you.
And I hope that you have a great honeymoon.
Thank you.
And you guys have a great trip. Okay? Bye. Thanks.
-(RACHEL SIGHS)
(MARK CHUCKLES)
Was it something I said?
sh*t!
-Olivia, get down!
Ow.
Hey, everybody. (SPEAKING MANDARIN)
Nicole Mossbacher. Good to see you all.
(NICOLE SPEAKING MANDARIN)
SHANE: Hey!
You left me.
I’m surprised that you noticed.
What? Oh, shut up!
You were so busy flirting with those girls.
I was not flirting with those girls.
I was giving them sh*t.
Well, it certainly seemed like you were having a good time.
Aw. Is my baby jealous?
No.
-Whatever.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
Well, I came to find you to tell you
to wear something extra cute tonight.
What do you mean? Why?
I got a little something planned.
-Tell me.
No.
-Tell me.
No.
-Tell me.
It’s a surprise.
-(MOUTHING) Tell me.
But I will tell you,
it is very, very, very romantic.
♪ (QUIET MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (TENSE DRUM MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(SOBBING)
♪ (DRUM MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
It’s natural to want something new.
I mean, when you’re jerking to p*rn,
do you watch the same clip every time?
No. Never.
-I think I’m gonna go.
MARK: Yeah? Okay.
Um, can I borrow your phone?
Mine’s gone, and I need to get online.
Uh… all right.
See you back in the room.
♪ (ACOUSTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
TANYA: Who are these people?
DILLON: They’re joining for dinner. I hope that’s okay.
TANYA: Oh, all right.
♪ (ACOUSTIC MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
DECKHAND: Watch your step!
-DILLON: Aloha!
Hi. Aloha.
-SHANE: Thank you.
Oh! Wow!
Is this all for us?
-Uh, yeah. Yeah. Pretty much.
RACHEL: Yeah?
I’ll hold that for you.
RACHEL: Oh, thank you so much. I love this.
(GLASS CLINKING)
TANYA: Hey, everybody.
-Hey!
Hey.
Thank you for coming.
I know I don’t know you, but I’m glad you’re here.
Well, these are my mother’s ashes.
And I just wanna say that, you know,
I don’t want tonight to be a downer.
You know, my mother would’ve wanted us to have a good time.
So let’s have fun, okay?
♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
TANYA: I think I need to set this down.
-RACHEL: This is nice.
SHANE: Yeah.
-RACHEL: Get a little tan.
SHANE: It’s getting warmer.
-RACHEL: Hi.
SHANE: Hi.
Quick question. Uh, what’s– what’s going on here?
Just, uh, just refilled your drink.
SHANE: Right. No, I know what this is.
Um, what’s going on with this lady?
-What’s…
Oh, um…
She’s planning on scattering her mother’s ashes off the boat.
(LAUGHS)
Okay. Does she think we’re here for that?
‘Cause we’re not.
Shane…
Do you want me to speak to her?
-Oh, no, no, no.
SHANE: Well…
It’s fine. No. It’s– it’s fine. Everything’s okay.
-Thank you so much.
Of course. Mahalo.
-RACHEL: Mahalo.
SHANE: Mahalo.
We can’t– we can’t tell her not to bother us.
Like, well, I’m trying to have a romantic time with my wife.
-(SIGHS)
Hey!
-Hi.
Hi.
You guys wanna sit up here?
SHANE: Yeah. No, that’s okay. Thank you.
It might be more convivial.
We’re on our honeymoon.
-Hmm.
RACHEL: Thank you, though.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh my gosh.
How nice to be in love.
Mm. Mm. Yeah.
(SIGHS) I wish I had a man here.
I mean, you know, I– I’m really happy you’re here.
-You know what I mean.
I totally get it.
♪ (GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Woo-hoo!
All right.
TANYA: You’re a beautiful couple.
(LAUGHS)
-Leprosy is no joke.
It’s not.
MARK: You know about leprosy, right?
-Right, totally.
That’s a weird nerve disease
where they have– they like– they can’t even feel like–
You could get hit by a bus…
-Hey! What’re you doing?
Hey, baby, where’ve you been?
-…and not even know it.
Let’s go.
-GUEST 1: You wanna get out of here?
GUEST 2: Yeah. Totally.
See ya.
Bye.
-Whiskey, neat.
HUTCH: Yeah, you got it, boss.
-(ARMOND SNIFFS)
(CHUCKLES) Drinking on the job?
-Done for the day.
Oh.
Where’s your family?
Oh, sh*t. I should get back to them.
Um… (SIGHS)
No, they’ve seen enough of me.
♪ (HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS) ♪
(DRINK POURING)
-Thirsty? (CHUCKLES)
Long day.
Yeah. Me, too.
♪ (“HAWAIIAN FLOWER” BY LIONEL WENDLING PLAYING) ♪
SHANE: I can be romantic.
-See, right?
RACHEL: Yeah.
-I mean…
RACHEL: Totally. Thank you.
You didn’t have to do this, though.
I wanted to.
But is it because of our conversation this morning?
(SCOFFS)
I guess I just get insecure, like…
if our whole thing is based on your sexual attraction to me,
then what happens when that attraction fades?
Baba.
it is not going to fade.
-No?
SHANE: No.
-Really?
Mm-hmm.
Hi. I think it’s time.
So you guys are gonna have to get up, okay?
-RACHEL: Oh.
TANYA: Yes.
Will you mo– move their table?
DILLON: Of course, Ms. MacQuoid.
Oh, ow! Hold on! Can I just…
-We can just…
That’s fine, move it this way.
-(ALL MUTTERING)
Okay.
-Watch where you’re going.
Sorry, Ms. MacQuoid.
-Yeah. I just…
Got it?
Yeah, I got it. All right. There we go.
(SEAGULLS SQUAWKING)
-Okay, thank you.
DILLON: Yeah.
TANYA: All right.
My poor mother…
she d*ed in June.
And she loved the ocean. Just loved it.
My poor mother, she had a beautiful house in Carmel.
And she tried very, very hard to be a really good mother,
even though she didn’t have any maternal instincts or skills.
She, uh, she was always in search of male affection.
And, uh, she was…
a nymphomaniac.
I’d walk in her room and I’d find
all sorts of strange men in her bed.
She had borderline personality disorder.
She took her money
and she manipulated people with it.
And she was cruel. And she was very, very cruel.
She was so, so cruel and…
(SOBS)
I– I just– oh, mother, mother, mother, mother.
My mother…
told me I would never be a ballerina,
and that was when I was skinny.
My poor mother, she…
She just couldn’t handle her jealousy.
She had to take me down.
And what’s weird is I miss my mother
even though she was a big jerk!
I just– I need your help, everybody.
I– I’ve been trying for many days now
to open this box.
My poor mother’s in here.
I need someone to help me.
-Do you want me to open the box?
TANYA: Yeah, I would love that.
I’ll get it.
Um…
Yeah. Just…
(GRUNTING)
Oh my God, thank you.
SHANE: Yeah, no big deal. Yeah.
Mother.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Goodbye, Mother.
♪ (ACOUSTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Goodbye, Mother!
Goodbye, Mother! (GASPS)
(SOBS)
(WAILS)
I can’t– I can’t do this.
You know, this is– I just realized it’s too early for me.
-It’s okay.
(TANYA CRYING)
-(WAILING)
SHANE: All right.
Oh, I want my mother, mother, mother.
(CRYING)
-Hey let’s, uh, yeah– maybe–
TANYA: Oh, I can’t.
-Why don’t we– yeah, back in the box.
TANYA: I wanted my…
-(SIGHS) Oh, my God.
BELINDA: It’s okay.
(TANYA WAILING)
-RACHEL: (GASPS) Oh my God.
BELINDA: It’s totally okay.
TANYA: No, it’s not okay!
(BOAT ENGINE REVVING)
♪ (BELINDA SINGING IN SANSKRIT) ♪
♪ (CONTINUES SINGING) ♪
♪ (DRUM MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I don’t understand what happened to your father.
I mean, I’ve been texting him all day.
I have his phone.
Well, you could’ve told me that earlier, Quinn.
You know, this is all because of you,
because you won’t share a giant room with your brother.
Mom, it works out perfect.
He can have the entire beach to himself to jerk off.
I don’t jerk…
Finish your sentence.
Whatever.
You’re addicted to p*rn.
-QUINN: No, I’m not.
Yes, you are.
Don’t sex shame him.
Boys are sex shamed all the time now.
I mean, I know it’s very in, but it’s not okay.
(SNICKERING)
What?
You sex shame Dad.
I do not.
Okay. Whatever gets you through the night.
You– you’re gay, right?
-Yes, I’m gay.
No, my father was gay.
-Yes, I’m gay.
No, my father was gay.
I think. He, uh, he had sex with men.
That’s a telltale sign.
(BOTH LAUGH)
-Hey, can I ask you a question?
Hmm.
What’s it like, like, you know,
being f*cked up the ass? Like, is that…
I mean, it must feel kinda good,
otherwise you wouldn’t keep doing it, right?
Does– does it feel good?
Do you wanna find out?
Uh, no, I’ll take a rain check.
♪ (DRUM MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
Hutch.
When you’re young,
sex is powerful and intoxicating.
And as we mature, it gets demystified.
You realize there are more important things to focus on.
Like what? Zooming with China?
Like holding onto whatever shreds of dignity
you still have.
That’s so perverted.
-Can I take these?
Yes, thank you.
If you had the phone, did you see me texting all day?
And you didn’t respond, Quinn?
He did not tell us that she chartered that boat
for a g*dd*mn funeral!
-It’s okay.
No, it’s not okay!
He did it on purpose.
-He’s f*cking gaslighting me.
You have to let it go.
-I’m not gonna let it go.
Just let it go.
What I wanna do is go find that fucker.
Shane.
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
BELINDA: Okay, one second, let me just…
-(MUMBLING) What?
There you go.
-On the count of three.
Okay.
One, two, three. There you go.
-Good.
You’re a beautiful woman.
Oh, thank you, Tanya.
Is it– Okay! You got it.
Let’s just get the bottom half to join you.
There you go. Okay. All right.
-My head.
BELINDA: Oh.
-My head.
Let’s–
-Oh yeah.
(GRUNTS)
-That’s…
Oh– oh, oh!
-(GRUNTS)
BELINDA: (GRUNTS) There you go.
-All right.
Yeah.
-Okay.
Thank you.
Good night to her, and good night to you.
Everything’s gonna be okay.
-TANYA: Mm-hmm?
BELINDA: Mm-hmm! You got it.
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(SIGHS)
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
♪ (MUSIC ENDS) ♪
Yes?
Hi.
How was the cruise?
-Not good.
Great.
Actually, it was a sh*t show.
-They’re f*cking pissed.
Perfect.
Oh, do you want a drink? I, uh, I have tequila.
I have, uh…
-(PILLS RATTLE)
…other things.
Uh, no, no, I’m good.
I like this new hair look.
Yeah. Yeah. You said that already.
Turns out you’re my type. (CHUCKLES)
Blonde surfer with a man bun.
Okay.
You’re a great worker, Dillon.
Oh, um, well, thank you.
I have my eyes on you.
Okay. Well, I will talk to you later.
-All right. I’ll see you–
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I was texting you all day,
and then Quinn told me he had your phone.
Hmm, mm-hmm.
(IMITATES MONKEY HOOTS)
(HOOTS)
(HOOTS)
(HOOTS)
-You’re taking this really hard.
(MARK HOOTS)
(KISSES)
♪ (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
Why would he be gaslighting you?
This has happened before.
Like, people have been coming for me
my whole life.
I’m just playing the hand I was dealt.
Like, yeah. (SCOFFS) It’s a great hand.
And that’s not my fault.
Shane. Don’t worry about it.
I loved our dinner.
I thought it was really romantic…
(CHUCKLING) …until it wasn’t.
Yeah.
(INHALES)
(SHANE BREATHES HEAVILY)
Don’t. I’m not in the mood.
I’m just kidding. I’m always in the mood.
-Yeah?
SHANE: Yeah.
-SHANE: Come on.
Okay.
(BOTH MOANING)
(HOOTING)
Get off me, monkey.
(HOOTS)
Get off me. I mean it.
(MARK SIGHS)
(HOOTS QUIETLY)
(NICOLE SIGHS)
(HOOTS)
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(ACTRESS MOANS)
(GIGGLING) Yeah. Mm, yeah.
(MOANING INTENSIFIES)
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(PAULA GIGGLING)
(KAI MOANS)
(PAULA GASPING)
(MOANING CONTINUES ON PHONE)
(WAVES CRASHING)
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(PAULA MOANING)
♪ (DRUM MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(KAI PANTING)
(PAULA BREATHING HEAVILY)
(PAULA MOANS)
(BOTH MOANING)
-PAULA: (GASPS) Ooh.
(KAI GROANS)
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(GRUNTING AND MOANING ECHOES)
-(KNOCKING)
KITTY PATTON: Surprise!
-(LAUGHS)
Mom!
(CHUCKLING) Am I interrupting?
-It’s only your honeymoon!
SHANE PATTON: What are you doing here?!
It’s like we’re the underdogs now.
He’s a white man, and nobody has any sympathy for them.
I think he’s gonna be okay, Nicole.
Thank you, Paula.
(PHONE RINGS) This is the spa.
I got asked out.
He’s a deep-sea fisherman from Black Lives Matter.
(HORN BELLOWS)
Here’s another treat. Enjoy.
Dad, I think that guy was hitting on you.
He was just, you know, being friendly.
Bubba, tell my mom what you were thinking about.
I really want to get a job.
No, why would you do that?
♪ (INDIGENOUS MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
(WAVES CRASH)
♪ (SOOTHING TRADITIONAL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
When we meet Tanya, she has this big box of ashes.
TANYA MCQUOID: I brought my mother’s ashes with me,
so I could spread them in the ocean.
I’m gonna need a boat.
We have our resort boat you can charter.
I think I’m gonna be a little emotional.
MIKE WHITE: You can sense there’s just a lot of internal drama about it,
and it’s like she’s desperate to get rid of them
and she’s also attached.
You know, tonight’s the night I put my mother into the sea.
(SIGHS) Wow.
I’d really appreciate it if you’d be there.
I’ll take care of it.
I’m sure one of the girls would be able to cover for me.
This is important. I want to be there for you.
Tanya sort of represents
how we can all be kind of a mess sometimes,
and I think it provokes empathy from Belinda
and causes Belinda to let down her boundaries.
You were pretty horned up this morning.
Weren’t you horny for me?
It’s just not the most important thing to me.
Well… what is?
Was it the most important thing to you?
It’s up there. (CHUCKLES)
There’s humor to what they’re going through
just because it’s such an obvious problem.
He’s not hearing her at all.
All she wants is to be heard,
but she doesn’t know how to get him to understand.
I think Shane really loves Rachel,
but I don’t think he digs that deep.
When he’s happy, the world is good,
so some of the identity crisis that she’s experiencing
and some of the anxious elements to her, he doesn’t get it.
I wanna do something special, something kinda romantic.
ARMOND: What about a candlelit dinner on our charter boat?
Oh, wow.
ARMOND: There will be one other guest on the boat.
You won’t even notice she’s there.
She’ll be quiet as a church mouse.
(SOBBING)
Armond sending Shane out on this boat ride
is definitely calculated.
ARMOND: He thinks we’ve ruined his honeymoon?
I will ruin his honeymoon!
But I’m not sure if he would’ve done it if he wasn’t now high.
It unlocks in the character this ability
to really act on what he actually wants to do.
Turns out you’re my type. I have my eyes on you.
Later, Shane says to Rachel…
He did it on purpose.
People have been coming for me my whole life.
He is aggressive and entitled, but realizing someone has been
intentionally ruining my time here.
He’s validated in his exasperation.
MARK MOSSBACHER: I thought I knew my father,
meanwhile, he’s getting manhandled by some random dudes.
Mark is definitely on a roller coaster ride
with who his father was and what that means.
Gay, straight, whatever, we’re just monkeys.
-Yeah.
MARK: We’re just animals
driven by base instincts to…
create these hierarchies and hump each other.
To Quinn, some of his struggles seem ridiculous and unpleasant.
Oh, I wish I’d known.
FRED HECHINGER: But some of it really is interesting and moving.
I’m sorry.
In episode three, he’s really spiraling out.
He’s day drinking and starting to chat up
girls that are half his age.
-Leprosy is no joke.
It’s not.
WHITE: He goes on kind of a dark day of the soul.
-(HOOTS)
You’re taking this really hard.
In the end, you realize what he’s really looking for
is some kind of masculine validation.
Get off me.
Can I take these?
Yes, thank you.
Kai is a young gentleman from Hawaii
who works at the White Lotus.
Paula, as soon as she sees him, is instantly drawn to him and attracted to him and does not really disclose that to Olivia.
Where were you?
I just walked around.
WHITE: They’re sort of twinning at the beginning, but then you realize, over the course of the show, that there’s actually a big gap between them that grows as the mysteries of their relationship unfold.
You can see how everyone’s behavior affects each other and how these relationships have slowly evolved because of who each of these people are and how they treat one another.
01x03 - Mysterious Monkey's
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Series follows the guests and employees of an exclusive tropical resort destination.
Series follows the guests and employees of an exclusive tropical resort destination.