01x06 - Parentsite

[bunniefuu]

♪ ("HEY LOU" BY LIZ PHAIR PLAYING) ♪

GOSSIP GIRL: Greetings, followers.

Gossip Girl here.

Your one and only, period.

♪ What's inside that heavy head? ♪

There are obvious upsides to being the children

of the world's most influential people.

♪ Your eyes look dead... ♪

Maybe just a light coat instead.
It gets chilly in hospitals.

I think I know my girlfriend, Mom.

Well, of course you do.
It's just a suggestion.

- You okay?
- I'm good.

GOSSIP GIRL: But the biggest?
The luxury of choice.

♪ Hey, Lou... ♪

GOSSIP GIRL: While the majority of the world has little to no say

in what they can and cannot do...

You know I don't mind helping with whatever you need, Maxie.

I know, I know.
I want it to come from me.

GOSSIP GIRL: ... the elite get to choose whatever they want

whenever they want it.

Choice in where they live, what they eat,

who they speak to.

♪ Spilling all the drinks... ♪

GOSSIP GIRL: Even choice in who they deign to spend their time with.

♪ Who is that fool in the den? ♪

♪ I'm not running a zoo here ♪

♪ Tell me now, what can we do? ♪

- ♪ Hey, Lou ♪
- ♪ Hey, Lou... ♪

GOSSIP GIRL: But there's one thing not even they get a say in.

♪ Are you feeling all right? ♪

GOSSIP GIRL: No one gets to choose their parents.

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

OBIE BERGMANN: What the hell?

(WORKERS MUTTERING)

Lara, who are these people?

She heard you asked Valencia to stop coming.

I pay Valencia. She just gets to spend that time with her kids.

Did you ever think she might prefer time away from her kids?

If I were you, I'd get dressed.

Your mother's gonna be here in an hour.

What? You said she was coming Friday.

- GOSSIP GIRL: And as pour moi?
- OBIE: Hey...

GOSSIP GIRL: Consider me the au pair

you never knew you needed.

You can come cry on my shoulder in secret any time.

♪ How did that work out For you? ♪

(CELL PHONE BUZZES)

♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

♪ Oh, Superman ♪

♪ I've done as much as I can ♪

♪ You're not the life of the party... ♪

GOSSIP GIRL: And you'll want to.

Because no matter where you come from

or who you are, family is anything but easy,

and no one survives it alone.

♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

- ♪ Hey, Lou ♪
- ♪ Hey, Lou ♪

♪ Are you feeling all right? ♪

- ♪ Hey, Lou ♪
- ♪ What you wanna do? ♪

♪ I can see the daylight ♪

Uh, when were you gonna tell me about the PSATs?

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

When I retook them.

You know I always do better when I know what to expect.

Let's hope so, because these are...

Abhorrent? A word I got wrong, but now just used in a sentence, so maybe there's hope for me.

Not if you don't pronounce the "H".

(INHALES SHARPLY)

I never went to college, and I regret it to this day.

Yeah, it really held you back.

That depends on if money is your measure of success.

I didn't tell you because I was embarrassed and I'm going to retake them.

Then maybe actually prepare next time.

- Education gives you options.
- Options I have.

DAVIS CALLOWAY: You mean Instagram?

What sort of retirement plan do they offer?

A k in Etsy flower crowns?

I know her, actually.

She's a self-made "in-fleur-encer".

And she made the Forbes
under list.

She'll be a billionaire in ten years.

If there are still flowers, that is.

You can joke all you want, but this path that you're on, it could vanish in a flash.

People move on from things so quickly now.

Pandemics happen. Priorities shift.

Schooling gives you something to fall back on when whatever this is fails.

- This is a business.
- It hasn't been so far.

It could be. I just haven't sought out endorsements because I haven't had to worry about money, thanks to you.

But it's always been in my plan to grow my brand.

And your brand is... ?

(SCOFFS) Well, since you're suddenly so curious, why don't you let me show you before you tell me to write it off?

If it means you retaking the PSATs, you're on.

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Sorry, Dad. Didn't mean to break the "no phones at the table" rule.

It's a real estate lawyer from my firm.

We need some advice on our case against the board.

Is their name also Kate Keller?

I can read your grandma-sized font from here.

If you wanna be covert, text with your glasses on.

- (CHUCKLES)
- Here, I'll give you some tips.

I'm good at drafting texts, I just... don't send them.

To your sister or Noble O?

You promised you'd stop reading Gossip Girl.

I know things have been a little weird between Obie and me lately, but when stuff happens in his life, shouldn't I, as his girlfriend,

- be his first call?
- Not necessarily.

You can't expect to be everything to him.

That's not a healthy relationship.

I don't wanna be everything.
I just... I wanna be something.

And right now, that's not how it feels.

You wanna know what else is unhealthy?

Keeping your feelings to yourself.

Why don't you ask, uh, the lawyer for what you want?

And I'll do the same.

I don't remember which one you hate and which one I gave you.

You gave me that one, and I hate both.

You should've just grabbed a coat.

Max is bringing breakfast, and then we're gonna take you to school.

- No. I'm not going to school.
- You haven't been all week.

As long as she's here, I'm here.

Her blood pressure is low, she's dehydrated...

And she's in the care of very fine doctors who have it all under control.

- She's gonna be okay.
- Please.

The longer she's here, the more at risk she is.

That resident with the daily blowouts didn't even realize that her Tegaderm was loose yesterday, but I did.

If it wasn't for me micromanaging her nepotistic lack of skills, then she would...

But Dr. Death only makes rounds at night, right?

Right. So Kiki will be fine while you tackle your AP Lit this afternoon.

- But I'm not going...
- Stop helicopter daughtering, and eat.

Then put on one of those hideous sweaters.

That shirt is a biohazard at this point.

- (SCOFFS)
- (MAX WOLFE CHUCKLES)

She's so on edge.

I don't know what else we can do.

I know.

Just keep trying to help till she lets us?

(CELL PHONE BUZZES)

- You still doing that?


Hmm?

No, no, no. I, uh, maxed that game out

and I'm not interested in a replay.

You were right about him, anyway.

Even in off-the-rack, tens across the board.

Hey, that was from a nice store.

Can we please just get this over with?

♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

I spent all night working on a new system.

Oh, there are props.

Hard copies, color-coded and watermarked.

The first thing you'll see is a schedule.

I've got posts weekdays and nights.

And, uh, you have "Spotteds" and weekends.

- What if I have plans?
- She knows you don't have plans.

You're in charge of combing through our DMs and anything we're tagged in.

I've also been thinking of ways to expand our playbook, you know, like with new recurring features.

The original GG had a sort of teen Gawker Stalker map called Spotted, but I don't like those optics.

So, I'm thinking, uh, themed posts, like "W-T-Effed" for fashion fails of the week.

"Blindspotted" when we wanna focus on someone new.

Uh, what else? Let's see.

"Flashbackstory", where we go deep on a relation of one of our targets.

- Holding not just these kids...
- (CELL PHONE DINGS)

... accountable for their actions, but also their...

Does she know she stopped talking?

I do.

Nick Lott is inviting me to stay for dinner after my mentor session tonight.

Say yes. I mean, not only is he cute and single, but you can dig for all the dirt on Zoya and Julien's dead mom for your "Flashback" post.

(SIGHS)

"That sounds nice".

You said yes just to get dirt, right? Not any other reason?

Of course.

I don't like him in that way.

Okay. On page two, you'll see my ideas for a new color story, filters, and fonts...

- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)
- LUNA LA: Love that, but try arching your back a little more.

Yes. This harsh light is perf for a pensive portrait, but try to squint like you're on a yacht and you just took off your shades, not like gale-force winds just blew mystery moist into your eyes on Canal.

I'm sorry, Lu. (SIGHS)

I just keep stressing out about what my dad said.

And you're about to be Chanel-show-crashed

- like Gigi Hadid.
- I just...

I shouldn't have left.

I don't... I don't trust these hospital g*ons to call me if something goes downhill. I...

- I'm so stressed out about this.
- You are the first person they'll call in an emergency, I promise.

You needed a break.

Sit. Have an avocado puff.

- Breathe.
- (EXHALES)

You wanna impress your dad?
Then stay dedicated.

A dozen stories and a slideshow per day.

Okay, I'm just gonna check in one more time, okay?

- Okay. I'm here if you need me.
- Thanks.

Come on.

I'll do the story, I promise.
I just... I need to talk first.

About Audrey?
Girl needs to set an intention with some crystals, stat.

About how we take all this to the next level.

I wanna show my dad that I'm serious.

That my brand can be a real and lucrative career.

Do you know how long I've waited for this?

For you to go from content to creator, icon to iconoclast?

I don't know about that, but...

The trends you create, they're now, but if you want a lifelong career, we need to remove you from the concept of time.

Forget influence, you need importance, which takes more than daily displays of good taste.

A great Rihanna banger is of its moment.

Fenty is forever.

So I need to launch my own line?

Oh, God, no. You're barely ready to launch a zine.

Ultimately, yes, but first, you need to test the waters.

Prove the depths you can swim in.

Which means a collab.
I'll make some calls.

- Keep tonight open.
- Okay.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(CLEARS THROAT) Is one of those for me?

Finally caught you.

If you want me to chase again, just let me know.

Is that the line you use on all the boys?

So that's what this is about?

The fact that I occasionally sleep with a senior or two?

All this coming from a -year-old for whom ringside at the Knicks takes on a whole other meaning?

- That's not the same.
- You're right.

You're different than them.

You aren't a conquest.

You're a fellow conquistador.

Consider me colonized and move on.

I'm not gonna f*ck you again.

And if I see you cozy up to another student, I'll make sure that they don't either.

Yes, and please make sure to give my mother her drip before flirting with the EMT that looks like Oscar Isaac.

She stands no chance.
Do not put me on hold. I...

I swear to God, if you put me on hold right now...

Hello? Hell...

(SCREAMS)

What? Can I help you?

I just wanted to say I hope your mom's feeling better.

- And if you need anything...
- It won't be from you. So...

Look, I can't imagine how you must feel right now, but, um, sometimes, when you're feeling overwhelmed, it helps to take a deep breath and imagine you're...

Watching your supposed boyfriend have better chemistry with your sister?

That calms me down every time.

Hmm. It's working for me too.

NURSE: (OVER PHONE) Hello?
Are you still there?

AUDREY HOPE: Yes, I am still here.

So maybe it's... the kick in the ass that I needed to start thinking about the bigger picture and not just how I look in it.

I want to invest in my future.

Did you just say "invest" and "in future"?

When we were dating, I couldn't even get you to decide on a restaurant, like, an hour in advance.

I'm growing. (CHUCKLES)

I've noticed.

So I can do what I've always done and just live and expect people to care, or I can push myself outside of my comfort zone

and figure out if there's a way that I can use my platform to create something that people actually need.

I can't believe what I'm hearing.

(CHUCKLES)

- OBIE: Hey, there you are.
- Here I am. What'd I miss?

Oh, just new Julien's genius master plan.

Genius? Big word for : a.m.

It's not. He's just trying to make me feel better.

I'm sure whatever it is, it's amazing, and I can't wait to hear all about it, but, um, first, when do I get to meet your mom?

- Helena's in town?
- Yeah, uh, she is, yeah.

She just got in this morning.

Yeah. Gossip Girl was all over it.

I don't know. She didn't even, like, tell me that she was coming.
She's just...

I don't know. She's here to check up on the development in the Navy Yard, and then she's gonna have dinner with Aki's dad, and then she's out.

So I don't even think I'm gonna see her, really.

Well, do you wanna come over after my mentor session with, uh, Ms. Keller?

That way, I don't have to watch my dad's pathetic flirting attempts alone?

Uh, I would, yeah, but it's... it's ball tryouts today, so I'm probably just gonna have to go home after

- and, like, crash.
- (BELL RINGING)

But maybe we can hang out tomorrow?

Yeah. Of course.

- Yeah. All right.
- Good luck.

You're upset he didn't tell you his mom's in town?

Things have just been so off since the Simon thing.

And we haven't even discussed that.

We haven't discussed anything.

Well, when it comes to Helena, that's not personal.

That's about him. He's her golden boy, so, as such, he's totally terrified of her.

Take it from me. The Obie we know may have no trouble standing up for what he believes in, but when it comes to her, he just freezes.

When we first started dating, I had to track her down and introduce myself because he was too nervous.

That's not exactly how I operate.

Yes, it is. You're the most confrontational person I know.

We got this.

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- You seen Audrey?
- Yeah. You just missed her.

Aw, you really are a great bi-friend.

Some good it does me.

Here, I'll bring it to her after school.

You can tag in post-tryouts.

Thanks.

And Max, um...

no one knows about me, okay?

- I'm still...
- Oh, yeah. My bad.

Um... look, it's fine.
Your secret's safe.

Kate. I was wondering

if you might grant me a small favor.

- If I can?
- Your secret project.

You know, I think I might've been too hasty when I said it wasn't for me.

I've been seeing all the great work you've been doing and wondering if I could maybe help in some way.

- All good. Thanks.
- Well, I have insider access.

I know where these kids go when they're not here.

And unlike the rest of you, I go there too.

Happy to be your spy on the inside.

I guess you could start small.

Flag and report any copycat posts and profiles.

- There are hundreds of them.
- Down for anything.

And I personally know a huge tip that I think you might be interested in too.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

RECEPTIONIST: Hi. Do you have an appointment?

- Uh, are you Maya? Julien told...
- Zoya. Yes.

Your sister promised to feature my handbag line in a story for this.

- (CHUCKLES)
- Right this way.

♪ ("ARABESQUE NO. " BY CLAUDE DEBUSSY PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) ♪

RECEPTIONIST: Um, Helena?

This is my friend Zoya.
She wanted to meet you.

Hope you don't mind.

Hi. Uh, sorry to ambush you. I just... thought Obie would probably take forever to do this himself, and I know you're only here for a couple of days, so...

You know my son?

Yeah. Pretty well, I'd say. Uh...

I'm his girlfriend, Zoya...

Lott.

Is this some kind of prank?

- Uh...
- My son's girlfriend is Julien Calloway.

Everyone knows that.

Um, they... they broke up.

In September.

I think I would know if that happened.

Now, if you don't mind...

Oh, my.

He didn't tell me.

- I'm so sorry. I had no idea.
- It's... it's fine. Um...

I shouldn't have come here.
This... this was a mistake.

HELENA BERGMANN: It isn't.

I feel terrible.

We could have lunch.

I can call Otto.
Or you can join our dinner?

With the Menzies.

I'm sure you know Akeno and his girlfriend, if they're still together.

Yeah. We all go to school together.

I thought your trip was a surprise.

Germans don't do surprises.

So, tonight?

I... I can't, but thank you.

Um, it's... it was nice meeting you.

- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
- Nice to meet you too, uh...

Zoya.

GOSSIP GIRL: Poor little Z,

learning the hard lesson that while some get a blowout,

others simply get blown off.

Looks like Noble O may not be so noble after all.

I can't believe he still hasn't told her.

And lied about it. He knew she was coming for weeks.

You're going to that dinner, right?

ZOYA LOTT: No. I think I've crashed enough for one day.

And he clearly doesn't want me there, or he would have invited me himself.

She invited you.

And now that GG's exposed Obie's lie, just call him and tell him that you'd like to meet his mother properly.
He'll say yes. He has to.

And you'll charm the heels off Helena and put Obie's fears to rest before the Riesling runs dry.

ZOYA: What is it he's even afraid of?

Isn't this just a textbook case of "he's just not that into me"?

I used to vacation with them, Z.

She had sheets and towels monogrammed with my initials at all their properties.

Leaving me for my sister, who she probably

didn't even know existed, no offense, would be hard for anyone to explain, let alone a Mutter's boy like Otto Bergmann IV.

Oh, it's almost : . I'm too late.

JULIEN CALLOWAY: They're European.

They don't eat till : .

You have plenty of time to get yourself a seat at that table and prove you deserve to be there.

Call him. Call him now.

Why don't I ever get a pep talk?

She doesn't have your Grammys.

- (CHUCKLES)
- Are you ready?

- (ELEVATOR DINGS)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

I wasn't aware this was a bring-your-dad-to-work event.

Well, this is all about collaboration, right?

That's what he does for a living, so I value his opinion.

The L'Oréal, Glossier, and Goop reps are at the bar for an exclusive pre-drink.

Then they'll move to the seating area

- when the rest arrive.
- The rest?

How many reps did you get in a few hours?

Do you not know how important your daughter is?

Come on.

Where's our future Pulitzer winner?

Snuck off to make a call.
It's for the best.

I already got through twice the material I had planned.

She's a quick one. I wish I had that.

It would've made law school way easier.

- She take after her mom there?
- Try carbon copy.

- I don't mean to pry.
- I love talking about Marion.

Keeps me from forgetting.

- How did you two meet?
- We went to school together.

PS ' .

She was so confident.

Completely just comfortable with herself.

Like you-know-who over there.

College separated us, but we never really lost touch.

I didn't realize you'd known each other that long.

Most of my life, up until the day she d*ed.

Um, you don't have to tell me.
(CHUCKLES)

NICK LOTT: No, I don't mind.

You know, you're really easy to talk to.

Maybe we can go to dinner sometime.

Just us. Talk some more.

Not sure that dress goes with sloppy joes.

Uh, Obie invited me to go to a fancy dinner to meet his mom.

Can I go?

Kate and I already covered a lot of ground.

Yes, you can.

But only if I can get a picture with you first.

Ugh, Dad.

- Please?
- No.

- Just one.
- Uh-uh.

So... how's tonight?

♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Sorry. They had us scrimmage.

- Oh, it's all good.
- AUDREY: Excuse me, nurse.

You're just in time for this evening's show.

Do you know the temperature in my mother's room right now?

It is degrees.

That might be the proper temperature for bedrooms according to the National Sleep Foundation, but for the hospital room of a woman with a weakened immune system, it's downright deplorable.

How are you gonna fix it?
Go. Turn it up.

Go turn it up. Oh, my God.

That's the third nurse of the night.

Oh, and you...

AKI MENZIES: We were supposed to have dinner tonight with my dad.

- Maybe we should cancel.
- Yeah.

(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

- Whoa.
- _

I appear to be out of the loop on something.

_

You still have Gossip Girl on mute, don't you?

GOSSIP GIRL: Spotted. A lone Wolfe dropping by a hospital

to pick up more than Hope's spirits.

Take a seat, PSATs.

The test students should be most worried about

is one you can't study for. HMO, PPO, EPO?

If you've cozied up to Max Wolfe lately,

I hope you have all your docs on speed dial.

- (GROANS)
- Is this real?

Rafa's revenge. I expected more.

You can expect a lot less until you clear this up.

Hooking up is the last thing on my mind right now.

But I'd better handle it before I have to present my medical records to half of Kings County, which means...

- This is red dye number five!
- AKI: I have to leave her here alone, or miss dinner.

Did you say you're taking Ms. Hope to dinner?

Uh, yeah. I mean, I would, but I don't think I'm gonna get her to leave.

You have to. We're getting complaints, and not just the staff, patients too.

She can come back tomorrow during visiting hours.

... and you want her to be assailed by the sight of lilies?

What are you, sadists? (SCOFFS)

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Yeah. I'll take her.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

So, this isn't awkward at all?
Me having invited myself?

No. No. I... I'm the one who should feel awkward.

- I just didn't know how to, uh...
- Hey. Whatever happened, it worked out for the both of us.

- I'm happy to be here.
- Yeah, and I'm happy that you're here.

Uh, I already have a phone.

- Thank you.
- No, uh, Aki's dad makes us.

He can wiretap anyone, but no one can wiretap him?

Right this way, Mr. Bergmann, Ms. Lott.

ZOYA: It's empty.

Yeah, Roger buys out wherever he eats and brings his own staff.

Is he afraid somebody's gonna poison him

- for all the things he's done?
- (SIGHS, CHUCKLES)

Mama.

- (SPEAKING GERMAN)
- Yeah.

Zoya Jane Lott.

Well, I've heard a lot about you.

Hey, Otto, dear boy. You grew?

- OBIE: I did indeed. Yes, sir.
- (ROGER MENZIES LAUGHS)

Zoya, glad to get to know you in a proper location.

She means it in a nice way.

I'm Jody, Aki's mom.

- AUDREY: What's going on?
- AKI: Mom?

I thought you said they knew I was coming?

This table is for six, and there's seven of us.

- I'm just gonna...
- Babe, it's fine.

I didn't know Zoya was coming.

Hey, I didn't either until about an hour ago.

Hmm. Did you go to the opera first, or...

In Europe, we dress for dinner.

It's a shame that never caught on here.

Kiki is still in the hospital, Mama, so Audrey's come from there.

I was sorry to hear what happened.

I had no idea that your mother was struggling so.

Even though your papers reported in great detail about the failure of her company almost daily?

I may own the papers, but I don't believe in preventing journalists from doing their jobs.

However, I'm personally sorry that it all went so public.

- Me too.
- ROGER: Hmm.

Well, you needn't have worried, Ms. Lott.

I know you're new here, but you'll soon see that we're all very close.

I mean, Helena and I have known each other since before our sons were born.

Jody and I were married for a decade.

So none of us have got any secrets here.

The settlement made sure of that.

Plus all the wiretapping?

(LAUGHS)

(BOTH LAUGH)

We ask you post at least two tutorials a day at specific times based on our analytics, which we would sh**t in advance, as we're respectful of your school schedule.

My brand is all about authenticity.

I don't do pre-sh**t.

I upload the moment we post.

An honest and free spirit like yourself might benefit more from our company's philosophy.

We're all about what's natural.

We do some light retouching, teeth whitening, flyaways, nothing you wouldn't want.
What are your priorities?

Well, a big one is I want to partner with a brand that caters to women of color as much as it does white women.

- Well, that's why...
- You'd serve your audience best with a more established brand.

One that already has a proven track record in that department. Like Revlon.

You'd have to be seen using only our products, the best in the industry, so no loss there.

And you're still new.

Someone like us could take you to the next level.

Our top influencer has million followers.

If you let Ulta shake up your image, we can remake you into something actually profitable.

Some thing?

HELENA: You haven't met until recently?

Oh, no, our dads don't speak. Or didn't.

- And you were raised... ?
- She's from Buffalo.

Hmm. I've never been. What's it like?

Yes. Please regale us with the history

of its chief export, chicken wings.

Actually, Buffalo is a pretty interesting place, historically.

Home of Grover Cleveland, Mark Twain, and F. Scott Fitzgerald.

ZOYA: Yes. They host readings at his childhood home every year on his birthday. I've never missed one.

But if you want to talk Buffalo pride, the town really came together during the BLM protests.

- It was...
- You know, I owned the Bills for one season.

It was the worst investment I ever had.

Still, it got you and Otto to make much-needed renovations at that stadium.

We've done so much business together.

Who can remember it all?

My dad and I used to go to that stadium all the...

Tell me, how did Jakarta Tower hold up after the last earthquake?

Solid as a rock.

I never thought we'd ever get that damn thing finished with Hamish and Jake and Eliza at each other's throats the whole time.

My half-siblings. Much older.

- From his early wives.
- ZOYA: I know who they are.

I read about them, and you, a lot.

And it's all true.

You know, they didn't really give one whit about me.

All they care about is, uh,
who I'll put in charge when I die.

Oh, except for my boy here.

This boy, he calls me on my birthday.

He texts just to say hello.

I never have to worry about poison in my sherry

- with him around.
- An occupational hazard when you run a right-wing propaganda machine bent on destabilizing global democracy, am I right?

- Well said.
- I like a girl with an opinion.

You say opinion, but this girl says kind of factual.

What other opinions do you have, girl?

Have you given more thought about relocating the NetCorp to the Navy Yard?

Come have a tour while you're here.

There have been protests at that development all week.

- Zoya...
- AUDREY: Really?

Have there been? Do tell.

- Audrey...
- HELENA: Zoya's right.

The city has limited land.
Everyone wants a piece.

It's bound to make some people unhappy.

Unhappy? You're demolishing a homeless shelter and increasing the homeless population, for what? Condos with poor doors?

Obie knows more about this than I do.

He protests all the time.

Obie?

The city condemned the shelter.

It was always going to be destroyed.

Yeah, sure. But why not build a new one?

It's nearly : in Sapporo.

If I don't call your father now, I'll lose him all day.

Please. (SPEAKING GERMAN)

AUDREY: I guess the hospital hasn't called, but I'm just gonna check in really quick, okay?

Yeah.

You told me about those protests.

You said what she's doing is wrong.

It is wrong, Zoya, but we're at dinner.

So when is it gonna be an appropriate time to tell her what you really think?

Dessert? Or never?

What the f*ck?

(CHUCKLES)

Yeah. You might wanna get that checked out.

Oh, you mean fact-checked?

Tell Gossip Girl that this is a lie.

Um... nah.

You know that this is harassment, right?

Oh, you mean like stalking me at a bathhouse?

Following me into the showers at school?

(CHUCKLING) Showing up at my house unannounced?

I mean, who's the victim here, really?

Just stop lying, or I will destroy you.

Why wait when you can make good on that promise now?

Get the f*ck off of me.

What is with this sudden bout of morality?

You wanted this. You made it happen.

I'm just playing along.

You know what? I don't care.

Let everyone think that I have an STI.

I would rather f*ck no one than f*ck you again.

(DOOR SLAMS)

♪ (MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Okay, you've asked me enough.
Now it's my turn.

- Teacher at .
- (CHUCKLES)

How does that even happen?

All my teachers were grandparents.

Yeah, well, a lot's changed since, um...

Oh, God. That's not what I meant.

- It's true.
- (SIGHING)

Um... No, but you're a writer.
Not just a teacher.

That's what you wanna do, right?

I mainly wanted to be famous.

- Like Cormac McCarthy?
- Like anyone.

Oh, God. I don't think I've ever said this out loud.

When I was younger, I had this thing... where I just wanted to be the best.

At anything. I was terrified of being ordinary.

Maybe a Best Actress, Best Album, a gold in swimming.

No matter what I tried, though...

Uh, acting? I had eight lines in the high school Sound of Music, and I forgot six.

Singing? I can surprise you at karaoke, but you're not gonna follow me on Spotify.

- (CHUCKLES)
- But with writing,

I'd found it.

The thing that I was the best at.

I had a point of view, a voice.

People actually wanted to read me.

I was published in the school journal at .

Column at Barnard. Iowa at .

It was all working. And then I met her.

Who?

An actress acquaintance of mine once said that every actor has their Meryl.

Someone who, no matter what you do, you will never be seen the way they're seen.

You could give the same performance, you could give one better, doesn't matter, because you're not her.

My Meryl had that thing.

She was part magnet, part mirror.

You'd feel both, like, drawn to her and exposed by her at the same time.

We would have to... write a thousand words on our first time.

Mine was honest, brutal, brave.

Hers, banal.

It didn't matter.

People clapped after mine.
They cried reading hers.

She had it. And... it wasn't until meeting her that I realized I didn't.

Sounds like what she had was a sense of entitlement.

No, that was me. (LAUGHS)

I... I thought I deserved success.

I... thought I could be the best.

I guess some people just... go by unnoticed.

You still write?

Yes. But the difference is that now I know I'm not Meryl.

I write for myself.

No expectation or hope of validation.

(SIGHS) And in a small way, I think that who I am now might do more for the world than I ever could have being famous.

You mean as a teacher?

(SMACKS LIPS) Mm-hmm.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

Not what you were expecting.

- It's just a lot to think about.
- It shouldn't be.

Julien will get back to everyone once she's reviewed her options.

Well, first and foremost, Sephora listens to our partners' voices.

And we're the only company here that prioritizes

Black-owned beauty brands.

We value inclusion and individuality.

And, in fact, we're always looking for ways to educate ourselves and improve.

We're not just about makeup.
We wanna make a difference.

We'd be happy to sign a nonexclusive two-year deal where you, and only you, choose what to put out into the world.

If interested, let us know in the next hours.

You'd be the youngest influencer we've ever contracted with.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

- HOST: I'll see where your cars are.
- Yeah.

Ten texts from Julien asking how I am,

- but nothing from the hospital.
- I'm sure everything's okay.

Gonna call the nurses' station again.

ROGER: Oh, God! What?

- AKI: What is it?
- (GRUNTS) Hmm? Nothing.

Just, uh, a lawsuit that won't go away.

(SPEAKS IN GERMAN) He'll settle.

ROGER: Ah, not sure about this one.

- The press are all over it.
- What is it?

It's none of our business, Zoya.

ROGER: It's an in-house dispute.

A few years ago, one of my CCOs asked an employee to stop discussing his marital problems

- in the office.
- That's a lawsuit?

Well, it is when the spouse is a man.

He gets divorced.

We get accused of showing preferential treatment to heterosexual staffers,

in a lawsuit that has the temerity to suggest that NetCorp cultivates a pervasive anti-gay workplace environment.

- Well, do you?
- Zoya, stop.

We made a company-wide request that any conversation regarding personal relationships should stay outside the office.

And if it wasn't discrimination, why did it take a gay colleague's actions to implement the policy?

Oh, you really are a lawyer's daughter, aren't you?

- AUDREY: Hello?
- ROGER: Look...

- AUDREY: Do not put me on hold.
- ROGER: I'm not h*m*.

Neither is my company.

We're one of the first to give partners healthcare, to grant paternity leave.
We treat them equally.

Not if you use the term "them".

Well, what am I supposed to call them now?

- I'll just meet you outside.
- Okay.

Oh, what did I say now?

You know, you can be a little bit more sensitive, okay?

You never know how someone at the table identifies.

Oh. Uh, so, you're, um...

I'm not, but what does that matter?

No. No. Zoya's, uh... Zoya's my girlfriend.

Are you saying Akeno?

Hello? Oh, hi. Yeah, she's good? Great.

Um... Sorry, I have to go. Um...
Yep. Mm-hmm. She's great? Great.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
(PANTS) Oh, my God.

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

- (HAND DRYER WHIRRING)
- (SCREAMS)

- What... what was that?
- I just...

I just outed my boyfriend to his parents.

I cannot believe what I just did.

- I'm a horrible person.
- Wait. Aki's...

It's , Zoya.

He doesn't have to label it.
But yes, he's q*eer, he's bi.

I don't know.
He hasn't decided yet, okay?

sh*t. (PANTS)

You know what? No, it's fine.
This is not my fault. It's not.

He wanted me to come tonight.
I didn't wanna come tonight.

I wanted to stay at the hospital. I...

- I shouldn't...
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

You're just...
You're just exhausted, okay?

You're dealing with something very heavy right now.

- He'll understand.
- Okay, so... (PANTS)

So... so what do... what do I do?

How do I... How do I... What do I do?

You gotta tell him what happened.

Absolutely not. No.

And don't you dare, or I swear to God, Zoya,

I'll set a fire and I'll blame it on you.

NURSE: (OVER PHONE) Hello? This is Ms. Smith from the nurse's station.

What's that noise?

NURSE: Is anyone there? Hello? Hello?

- (GASPS) Hello?
- NURSE: Hello?

- Hello?
- NURSE: Ms. Hope?

Yes. This is... this is...

NURSE: We have an update about your mother.

Okay.

I might just get the subway.

- This late?
- It's not even : .

Zoya's still out.

We can go back upstairs, talk some more,

see if our taxi luck changes.

(KATE KELLER LAUGHS)

You know, thanks again for taking Zoya under your wing.

It really means the world that she has someone she can trust.

- Next time, I'll cook?
- Next time.

- Hi. I'm going to Bushwick and Myrtle.
- (PHONE CHIMES)

GOSSIP GIRL: Spotted.

Hot for teacher plus hot for a teacher.

Seems Z Daddy may be confusing PTA with PDA.

Whatever's going on,

it's my kind of after school special.

AUDREY: Hi.

I ha... I have to go. It's my mom.

- Is she okay?
- I don't know.

They say she is, but I don't know.

Look, I may have said something to your parents, so I'm sorry.

Sixty-ninth and York please.
It's an emergency.

It's okay. Whatever it is, it'll be okay, all right?

Okay. Okay. Okay. Come here. I love you.

- AKI: Just call me when you get there, all right?
- Okay.

Hey.

- It's often hard to...
- ZOYA: Hey.

- ... get in touch with him but...
- ZOYA: Hey, Obie.

OBIE: I'll be right there.

Yeah?

You're mad.

Why'd you have to go so hard at him?

Roger? He said it was fine.

Of course he said it was fine, Zoya.

- And my mom...
- Your mom what?

Never mind.

Yeah, she doesn't like me. I get it.

Should she, after how you behaved in there?

How I behaved?

You know, I'm sure she thinks that you're fine.

(SCOFFS) Okay. Look, I know you didn't want me coming tonight, but you know something?
I'm glad that I did.

Because now I know that your mom's not the problem.

It's how you are when you're around her.

Of course it's not her.
Like it's not Simon.

Like it's not Gossip Girl.

Like it's not any number of things that you blame.

The problem is me, and the fact that you don't seem to like me anymore.

Pot, meet the kettle.

Zoya, what are you saying?

Julien said to stand up for myself tonight, to not let you pull away, to... to fight for what I want.

But I guess that only works for you and your mom

- if it's Julien.
- Wow.

I see how you are when you're around her.

You'll really grasp at anything, won't you?

- Except...
- Except what?

HELENA: Otto...

The car.

Obie, tell her we're still talking.

I have to go.

You're already gone, aren't you?

Nice to have met you, dear.

Do not go anywhere! Please!

How long were you waiting there, creeper?

I knew it wasn't a casual dinner.

Plus, weekends are my shift.

And b*llet point six in your manila manifesto was to keep up posts on teachers to avert suspicion.

Doesn't feel good being a subject, though, does it?

That gossip shoe is on the other girl's foot, and that metaphor didn't work at all,

- so I'm gonna stop.
- I was there to get more information on Zoya and Julien's mother, which I did.

Great. Give it to me. I'll post it.

I can't. He'll know it was from me.

So you got information you can never use?

I can use it at some point, very strategically.

You lost all objectivity the second you stepped foot in that apartment.

You should have said no to dinner.

You wanna play God?
You have to be above it all.

You can't expose the truth when you're a part of it.

It's not that simple.

And once you end it with him, and with Zoya, it will be again.

- What?
- I'm proud of you, that's all.

You said you'd do something great with your platform, and you did.

It's the Calloway guarantee, right?

Is Luna trying to talk you out of Sephora?

No. I'm waiting on Zoya.

She told me she'd call me after dinner and tell me how it went, but it's : .

And what are you hoping to hear?

That it went well or that it didn't?

Of course that it went well.

You can tell me you still have feelings for him.

Maybe I still have feelings for him, but Obie's with Zoya.

Not right now, he isn't.

JULIEN: Hey. What are you doing here?

Hey, can you stop, uh, messing with my life, please?

What? How am I messing with your life?

Um, ambushing my mom, telling Zoya to invite herself to family dinner, and... encouraging her to Zoya all over everyone once she's there.

- I was just trying to help.
- Why?

Why are you trying to help?

What do you mean, "Why?"
She's my sister.

And that's it?

You're not trying to sabotage it like the birthday party or the... the fashion show?

I'm not trying to sabotage anything.

I want you to be happy.

Which one of us? (SCOFFS)

♪ ("BURN YOUR LIFE DOWN" BY BLEACHERS PLAYING) ♪

Both of you.

♪ Just staring at the ceiling above... ♪

Well, I'm not.

I used to be.

♪ Such a waste of all your time ♪

You should go.

♪ You keep on fighting to remember ♪

♪ That nothing is lost in the end ♪

Do you want me to?

You get like this whenever Helena's here.

Maybe one day, you'll be able to show her who you really are instead of taking out the fact that you can't on the people who love you.

♪ Then you burn... ♪

People who love me.

♪ Burn your life down ♪

Hmm.

♪ And if I break my heart around this ♪

♪ If I break my heart around this ♪

♪ If I break my heart around this ♪

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

(HUMMING)

(CROWD CHANTING)

Housing is a human right! Housing is a human right!

We're out here at the Brooklyn Navy Yard protest!

DAVIS: It's all over the news.

It's pretty ballsy, protesting your parents.

- Do you think it's bad?
- You kidding?

If your mom were here, she'd be dragging us down there right now.

So what's stopping you?

Just be sure to check in with me every couple hours, okay?

Yes.

(EXHALES SHARPLY)


I saw that.

She speaks.

A little too much, apparently.

- Dinner?
- Not my finest hour, unless you're a fan of judgmental grandstanding.

I'm sure it couldn't have been that bad.

Hey, Dad, how do you know when to speak up or... or stay quiet?

As a general rule, I say speak up whenever you feel you have to, if only to make up for the hundreds of years we couldn't.

But if you hurt someone with your words, you have to be able to live with it, or learn from it.

And an apology can go a long way.

CROWD: Housing is a human right!

Housing is a human right! Housing is a human right!

Oh, my God. He listened to me.

OBIE: We're out here at the Brooklyn Navy Yard protest!

He's taking a stand.

I... I... I gotta go.

(CHUCKLES) Okay. Stay safe, please.

Yes. Will do.

AUDREY: Turns out "nothing to worry about"

is hospital code for "your mom has sepsis".

Her fever is down and they're running more tests, so...

Jesus, I'll head right over.

AUDREY: It's okay. I'm fine. I promise.

Have your parents mentioned anything about you?

About what?

AUDREY: Actually, I should go. I'll call you with updates.

- Everything okay?
- Yeah. Um...

Kiki's gonna be fine. Thank God.

And you?

AKI: Uh, why wouldn't I be okay?

If you ever wanna talk...

- about anything...
- I'm good.

You and Max Wolfe seem to be spending a lot of time together.

Yeah, he's just helping out with Audrey stuff.

I have a lot of homework to do. Can you close the door on your way out?

JODI MENZIES: Uh, your father called.

He wants to see you again before he leaves.

He's touring the new complex with Helena.

I could go with you.

I know how to get to the Navy Yard, Mom.

Of course.

Mom? Oh, my God. They said you're...

- Audrey, I'm so sorry.
- It's okay. (SHUSHES)

Careful. You've been in and out, so...

I'm so sorry. I did not mean to do this to you, honey.

You didn't do anything to me, Mama.

Okay? I'm just so glad you're okay.

You must be so mad at me.

They said you've been here this whole time.

In this depressing place alone, just... worrying about me.

I've had Aki and... and Max, and they haven't left me alone for a second, so...

That's good. That's really good.

I'm so sorry that I didn't talk to you.

I'm sorry that I pushed you away and that I tried to do everything by myself. I'm...

You just needed help.

We all do sometimes.

It's okay to ask for it.

I need your help.

- Come here.
- I love you so much.

I love you so much. Come here to me.

- I'm so glad you're okay.
- You too.

♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Rafa's not just my teacher.

Hmm. Yeah.

Yeah, I figured that much out.

- Did you...
- No. No, Max. Of course not.

Okay. Good. That's good.

He said he was concerned about you... at ten o'clock at night, then... when I got over there, he didn't wanna talk about you,

- so I put it together.
- And you just left?

I stayed for a drink, and that was it.

Has that been it? With anyone since...

You know, Max, that's really none of your business.

It is when I have to listen to Dad cry himself to sleep every night.

All right.

Watching Audrey go through what she's going through, never leaving her mom's side,

I didn't have to do that with you,but you've always done that for me.

And I always will.

You need to do that with Dad.

Oh God, Maxie.

Rafa's not a good person.

I figured that out.
Stay away from him, okay?

- Of course.
- I know I'm gonna.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

It's really good to see you.

CROWD: Housing is a human right!

PROTESTOR: Tell me what's a human right?

CROWD: Housing is a human right!

PROTESTOR: Tell me what's a human right?

CROWD: Housing is a human right!

PROTESTOR: Tell me what's a human right?

CROWD: Housing is a human right!

PROTESTOR: Tell me what's a human right?

Obie!

(CROWD CONTINUES CHANTING)

You're here. Are you kidding?
You never come to these things.

It's important to you, and I wanted to apologize.

I never should've been giving you advice...

No. Look, I needed to hear it.

And, honestly, I feel better than I have in a long time.

Do you have one of those for me?

Yeah. Here. A few.

- (CHANTING CONTINUES)
- PROTESTOR : Say it louder!

CROWD: Housing is a human right!

PROTESTOR: Tell me what's a human right?

CROWD: Housing is a human right!

Z!

Z, wait.

(CROWD BOOING)

- AKI: Dad.
- Oh, there you are.

Come. It's not safe here.

- Have you seen Otto?
- I think he's over there.

- Housing is a human right!
- Tell me what's a human right?

Why'd you ask me to come down?

Because I've got to get straight to the airport from here.

REPORTER: Mr. Menzies!
Mr. Menzies! A few questions.

Mr. Menzies, Gigi Stone
Woods, NBC News.

What do you have to say about reports that a federal lawsuit has been filed claiming NetCorp Media demonstrates bias against its LGBTQ members?

Gigi, how could I or my company be accused of being h*m* when my own son Aki here, who I love very, very much, is gay himself?

Now, if you'll excuse me.

No, I'm not... I'm not gay. I'm bisexual.

My dad is very complic...

CROWD: (CHANTING)
Housing is a human right!

- Tell me what's a human right?
- Housing is a human right!

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Wait, Zoya.

Was this your plan all along?

Be friends with me just so you could get close to him again?

Of course not. You're my sister.

And you're Julien Calloway.
You always get what you want.

So why do all this?
Why not just take him?

He didn't want me. He wanted you.

Are you still in love with him?

- That's... that's not...
- Do you still love him?

(CROWD CONTINUES CHANTING)

Yes. Do you?

CROWD: No beds, no peace!
No beds, no peace!

Zoya!

We have to get out of here.
It's getting too crazy.

I'm not going anywhere.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)
More cops are on the way.

You called the cops?

Do you see what these people are doing?

They are going to break down the doors.

I have to protect my property, Otto.

CROWD: No beds, no peace!

Is that what I am, your property?

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

You've had your fun, now come and...

Otto.

Otto, no.

GOSSIP GIRL: There comes a moment in every child's life when you realize...

- HELENA: Otto!
- (SIRENS WAILING)

GOSSIP GIRL: ... the horrible truth that's been hid from you all along.

- Your parents are human.
- No beds, no peace!

GOSSIP GIRL: Just like you.

- CROWD: No beds, no peace!
- (WHISTLE BLOWS)

GOSSIP GIRL: They make mistakes and then repeat them.

- (CROWD CLAMORING)
- (CELL PHONE RINGS)

Hey, Marjorie, now's not really a good time.

I emailed over the contract this morning.

MARJORIE: Are you at a protest right now? I saw on Instagram.

Yeah, I am. Why?

MARJORIE: If you wanna work with us, you should probably leave.

You said you wanted my point of view, what I stand for.

MARJORIE: And we do.
We encourage perspective.

But protest is trickier.
If it were to turn violent,

well, we wouldn't wanna alienate a good portion of our...

My politics are who I am.

MARJORIE: And that's great.

Just share them through your platform,

not through protest.

Goodbye, Marjorie.

You really have changed.

Grown, which is how I know what things are actually important.

- It's the right thing to do.
- I know.

But I can wish it wasn't.

GOSSIP GIRL: They act in their own self interests

and lie to themselves to feel better.

They cheat, manipulate, obfuscate, and evade.

But most of all, they do not learn.

Hello?

- AUDREY: Hi.
- MAX: Hey.

♪ ("YOU DON'T KNOW HOW GLAD I AM" BY NANCY WILSON PLAYING ON SPEAKERS) ♪

- AKI: What's going on here?
- Glad you could make it.

What is this?

It is a thank you to my two men.

I do not know what I would've done without you two this week.

And all while you were going through your own things.

Aw. Well, you did not need to do all this.

Sit. It's my turn to shine.

♪ And I can't stop ♪

♪ Loving you ♪

MAX: Wow.

♪ And you don't know... ♪

AUDREY: (KISSES) Hey.

GOSSIP GIRL: Therapy may help identify your issues,

but once created, they're there forever.

It's how you react to them that can change.

(CROWD SHOUTING)

GOSSIP GIRL: And that is amongst the hardest things to do.

(SIRENS WAIL)

- (SMOKE HISSING)
- (expl*si*n BOOMS)

- (CELL PHONE RINGING)
- Oh, wait. It's Wendy.

- Yes?
- Have you seen it?

- KATE: Seen what?
- What Max Wolfe just DMed?

(MOANS)

(BOTH GASP)

JORDAN GLASSBERG: Holy sh*t!

That's...

Better than my OnlyFans subscriptions.

This could get him fired.
Maybe even arrested.

Wh... why did Max send this in?

Wait. What happened?

♪ ("HIEROGLYPHS" BY TRZTN & KAREN O PLAYING) ♪

Rafa! I gave him access to the account.

He must have deleted it.

Wait. If Rafa just deleted it, does he know we saw it?

GOSSIP GIRL: The plain and simple truth

is that it feels better to be bad than do good.

This was lovely. Thank you.

Hey.

You don't have to leave, you know?

Does he, Ak?

Do you guys not want your privacy?

What's private from you?

♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

♪ Hier... ♪

♪ Hieroglyphs ♪

♪ Hieroglyphs ♪

♪ In the dust of the first eclipse ♪

♪ Reach around for the perfect script ♪

♪ Perfect script ♪

♪ Hier... ♪

♪ Hier... ♪

♪ Hieroglyphs ♪

(AUDREY MOANS)

♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪

(CELL PHONE BUZZING)

GOSSIP GIRL: 'Cause at some point,

if everyone else is being human,

you might as well be human too.

Aki, Dad.

I know you're angry.

But understand that...

Look... (SIGHS)
I do support you. Always will.

There's one thing I forgot to mention.

Just for a little while, at least, stay away from Julien.

If you call me back, I'll talk you through it.

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)

♪ Hier... ♪

♪ Hieroglyphs ♪

GOSSIP GIRL: But don't worry, you'll pay for it later.

XOXO, Gossip Girl.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪